Writing and Wondering

There are few things in this world that I am 100% certain! Then again who is 100% certain of anything. One of the only things that I've ever been good at is writing and I'm tired of keeping my words to myself. So here I am, sharing it with you, if only you will listen!

[night-rooms]

[writings-wonderings]

Never Been Kissed

I’ve never kissed anyone, on the lips that is. Cheeks, foreheads, tops of heads, sure, but they’re different. What some people don't understand is why it’s so important to me. When it’s something so simple, something so basic in human nature, because it is human nature. And it’s not that I don’t want to. I’ve pictured it in my mind a thousand times, I want it to be special, because in my mind it should be special, memorable. 

Its also not like people haven't tried to kiss me. I’ve just been really good at stopping them. The first didn’t respect my boundaries, refused to accept no for an answer. Verbal, non-verbal, it didn’t matter how I said it, he wouldn’t hear it. Luckily for me, I didn’t let him close enough to hurt me, more than he had, anyway. And while I’ve knocked down other walls in my life, the ones I built after that incident are still standing strong. 

I know this to be true as I was actively flirting with a guy, which alone was a massive thing for me. He was really nice and by all accounts seemed to like me, but when the night came to an end and he lent in to kiss me, despite thinking about is multiple times, I said no. I wasn’t ready, I wasn’t comfortable and I hardly knew him. But this time was different than the last. I only had to say it once for it to be heard, instead of ten times to deaf ears. 

Then there was this feeling, one I had never felt before, having someone respect my choice, the boundary I’d held for almost a year and a half. It’s the only way I’ve known to protect myself. I can only hope that he will be patient with me. For when it comes to things like this my heart takes a lot of warming up. And if he can’t, he doesn’t deserve me when I am!

[writings-wonderings]

Freedom In Fiction

Let me tell you a story Of a girl just like you Who let others rub her out

A girl who didn’t tell her story Instead wrote those who came before Creating them anew

The versions she created Of those unforgiving fools Were better than originals

She coloured them in Gave them life Forgetting her fading self

Finding friends in fiction Twisting those around her Into her own creation

It was in fiction she found freedom From her doubts and fears Of love and friendship

In a world of her making While not perfect would do Until she would find herself

Little did she know that day would come Sooner that first thought Not in real life, instead online

[writings-wonderings]

Harmony just wants to get away, from everything. So, she heads to the one place she knows she'll be completely alone, e...

I published a short story! Please give it a look! I’ve been sitting on this story for a while and I finally got the courage to share it! 

[nymfadoratonks]

Lee Jordan’s commentary appreciation post

[writings-wonderings]

You have all the power!

There are times in our lives which we have so much more power than we ever realise. And I’m telling you that in the comments section on youtube videos you are the one who holds all the power. Especially when it comes to small channels, like mine. You can turn that place into the fires of hell and trust me to some people it WILL feel like that or you can make that place a lovely meadow filled with flowers, rainbows and endless positivity. 

I’ve been incredibly lucky that my subscribers belong to the latter, with only a few (like three) outliers who most likely have more bones than brains and I’m happy with the way I’ve dealt with them. In today’s world the internet has made is so easy to be complete fudge monkey’s to people we don’t even know. The internet has created a separation of accountability which I should not need to mention is a bad thing, a horrible thing really. People revert back to their 3 year old selves where they never think about what they say, only now they have a slightly better vocabulary of naughty words to draw on. 

I seriously worry for the younger generation, I fear that they will lose their sense of accountability completely, that the won’t take ownership of their actions. I shudder to think of a society that would come out of people like that. Fortunately I don’t think that will happen, for I, at least, know I will never tolerate that sort of behaviour from my children and I can only hope that others my age think the same! Internet etiquette is such an important thing, thought it’s not that different from regular etiquette. In short, be nice and if you can’t be that, then keep your opinions to yourself because no one else wants to hear it and those that do are just as bad as you.

Watch my Youtube video about this issue below!

[writings-wonderings]

This is just the beginning

There are few things that I’m good at in this world. Writing just happens to be one of those few. Be warned that I am not perfect and there will be spelling errors or typos so if the Grammar Nazi’s will please forgive me as you could never be harder on me than I shall be on myself. Believe me. I will notice them and I will beat my head against my wall. So no need to worry yourselves on that front. 

So why am I here, typing to you on the internet? I have this, what should I call it, a ‘gift’, that doesn’t write, but I do have a way with words. I seem to be able to use these weird squiggly lines to make meaning, though now I think about it anyone can do that. Maybe not in the way that I do. As of right now I have no plan for this space, but I am open to suggestions! So please suggest away.

So I leave it there for now. And I’ll see you soon, hopefully!