This post is on how to get over being rejected by a person you liked after you told him/her you liked him/her. Actually, to be honest, I’m writing this because I was rejected just this morning! Yep. So…here goes:
1. Remember that just because he/she doesn’t like you romantically, it doesn’t mean he/she doesn’t like you as a person. Nor does it mean you’re unlovable. I think the hardest thing for me to accept at first was that he just flat out didn’t like me back. I thought, ‘What? But aren’t I a nice person? Aren’t I decent-looking, somewhat smart, awkwardly funny in an endearing way, etcetcetc.?’ And it hurt me to think that he disliked me. It hurts in general to think someone dislikes you, even when you haven’t invested your feels into the person, because it makes you question your likability. BUT STOP RIGHT THERE. I took a step back then and told myself, ‘He doesn’t dislike me. He just doesn’t like me the way I liked him.’ And you know what, that’s all there is to it. You can’t make a person like you in a romantic way, and people will fall for the people they fall for. The guy/girl will either like you back or they won’t. What you need to keep in mind is that you’re most definitely worth liking, and that the only reason he/she doesn’t like you is because that’s just the way he/she is. And really, you can’t change that, so don’t bother trying and move on to find someone who will like you just because that’s the way he/she is.
2. Don’t obsess over the confession, or any of the events leading up to the confession. You can’t change what happened and there’s nothing you could have done better/differently to change the outcome of your situation. While this may be hard to believe, and may even be untrue, you must—and I emphasize, MUST—tell yourself this. Otherwise, you will forever be drowning in the past and regrets and feels (feels everywhere, dammit) and you’ll never be able to move on. My confession went pretty smoothly, so I should have had nothing to kick myself over—and yet I found myself picking apart the details of the whole fiasco, anyway. ‘Did I come on too strong? Does he think I’m so super madly in love with him that I’ll jump in front of a train for him now or something? What is he going to think about all those awkward hints I dropped prior to my confession? IS HE JUDGING ME?’ Well, the thing is, there’s no point in doing all of this. What happened, happened, and no one can go back to change the past. Rather than dwell upon all you could have/shouldn’t have said or done, tell yourself you did what you thought was best at the time. And that’s all we can do in any kind of situation, really—we try our best and hope for the best. And when things don’t work out, we should take comfort in the fact that, hey, at least we tried.
3. Feel good about yourself. Pat yourself on the back for having the courage to confess. Make a list of awesome things about yourself. Make a list of faults in the guy/girl. Make a list of all the people you’ve rejected. Okay, the last one might seem mean-spirited, but it reinforces tip#1, and that is: YOU’RE STILL LIKABLE/LOVABLE, DESPITE BEING REJECTED BY THIS ONE INSIGNIFICANT PERSON OUT OF THE BILLIONS ON THIS PLANET. If you’ve ever had anyone like you, reflect upon why they liked you, and make a list of reasons why you’re super awesome and why you should be proud to be who you are. Making a list of faults in the guy/girl who rejected you is also recommended—and it’s not because I want you to spite him/her. Rather, doing so will ground you in reality; and the reality is that he/she is not perfect. He/she is not the only person in the world that is capable of evoking such feelings of love/affection from you, and he/she is definitely not the only person in the world deserving of your feelings. I never put the guy I liked up on a pedestal, but I sure thought he was helluva catch. Really, he’s only human and he has flaws, too. You didn’t let ‘The One’ or ‘The Perfect Guy/Girl’ or ‘My Dream Guy/Girl’ slip away, so don’t trick yourself into thinking you did.
4. Get your feels out. Kind of like how I’m doing so right now. Talk to a trusted friend. Talk to your sibling. Talk to your stuffed toy. (Blog on Tumblr). Cry if you need to. Watch cheesy movies and salt your popcorn with tears. Don’t bottle up your feelings; you don’t have to pretend to be strong. Sweetheart, you were rejected! It’s going to hurt. Accept your vulnerability. You’ll feel like a weight has been lifted off your chest (I’m serious; I can feel it happening as I’m writing this). Afterwards, pick yourself up, shut the door on the whole situation, and move on. Don’t dwell on your feels, because feels are like seagulls—the more you feed them, the more they’ll swarm around you and freak you out. Get it out, get it over with, get a move on.
So that’s pretty much it. I’m sure there are tons of other tips out there but these are the ones I plan on following. Hope this helps, and best of luck!
