edit: for everyone asking- this is at Boxpark Wembley and everything that goes on the billboard has to go trough strict pre-approval before it’s put on there, it’s not automatically submitted by the public!!!!!
Summary : You ran away from Barcelona, from your friends, from your family. From her.
Words: 2.7k
Warnings: Mention of terminal illness and just a very sad fic in general.
Part 2 Alternative ending
---
The sun cut through the training centre of Barcelona casting its warm rays in the hallway. Players boots echoed as they headed towards the changing room to gear up for their day ahead.
Alexia walked through the usual path, head held up high but emotionless. Eyes darting forward, legs moving in autopilot mode as though they have memorised the entire route.
Her posture was rigid, face carrying that no nonsense look, which was normal but it lacked the shine that her eyes once carried. Lacked the charm her body once carried into any room she entered. Lacked the joy she once felt in her life.
She was less human and more robot at this point. Her mind doing the usual routine without paying any attention to it. Wearing her jersey, pulling up her socks, tying her bootlaces, combing her hair into a slick ponytail. The same cycle. The same lifeless cycle for the last three months.
Three months since her world shattered
Three months since she cried her heart out
Three months since her home felt like a cage
Three months since you left
Three months since her soul was sucked out of her and life no longer felt worth living.
The day you left broke her in so many pieces that it was impossible to gather. Her breath, her heart, her soul, her life, everything her was connected to you. She had loved you with everything she possibly had.
You had promised that you loved her too, that she was it for you, that no matter what life throws at them you would stand by her side like a wall and fight your way back to her.
And yet you left.
You left without a word, without an explanation, without a goodbye, without your Alexia.
And it tore everything inside her. Every night for a month, she would sit on the couch, eyes glued to the door, hoping, praying, begging for it to open and for you to step in. That you would laugh and say that it was all a cruel joke. That you would open your arm and Alexia would run and melt into the touch she’d been longing for. That you would assure her she was yours and you were hers and it was never going away.
Except the door never opened. The hug never came, the assurance never said and the cruel joke..…. Still running.
Yet every now and then, Alexia would find herself perched on her sofa, eyes still searching for that smile to appear, ears waiting for that laugh to be heard, heart breaking with every ounce of hope that still demanded the presence of you.
It was the curse of waiting for something that never comes.
And so Alexia switched to surviving. What she was doing couldn't be described as living. Forcing herself to breath, pushing her leg one step at a time, reminding herself that she needed to move because the world hadn't stopped while hers shattered apart. She wasn't living anymore, she was merely…existing. Just there.
There was now a hole in her heart, in her existence that no matter how hard her friends and family tried couldn't patch up. And Alexia wasn't sure if she wanted it to be patched up.
It was the only thing left that connected you to her. And she wasn't ready to lose that just yet. So if the memory of you came with the price of her peace, so be it.
She would give every ounce of hers just to keep the smallest of piece of you.
---
Darkness, silence, emptiness that's all you felt since the day you left.
Since the day you broke a promise that was woven in your soul, written through an ink that was created out of love, spoken with an honesty that could be found only in a heart that never dared lie.
“I’ll never leave”
And yet here you are.
9300 km away in Mexico, running away from the country you once lived in.
You didn't have a choice, you couldn't stay, couldn't do that to Alexia after learning the truth.
~
Three months ago..
"Adiós, Mi amor" Alexia leaned in kissing your lips as you stood near the dorway waving her goodbye.
You smiled as you watched her get in her car and drive away, when suddenly your phone chimed with a message that quickly took it away.
Dr. Hemor
reports are in. can you come now?
You've been feeling a little sick lately, continuous headache that didn't seem to vanish even with medicine, nausea that didn't subside and tiredness that came even when all you've done is lie in bed all day.
You didn't want to worry Alexia before learning what was wrong. If something was wrong. She becomes the helicopter parent if you even catch the mildest of cold, so knowing that you felt sick enough to get checked out would've sent her on edge.
So a week earlier when she left for training, you quietly went on your own and got all the scans and tests recommend to you and now the results were in. For some reason, that message filled your stomach with dread. It's probably nothing, you're fine. Completely fine. you kept reassuring your self.
But something felt wrong. Your body could feel it coming before you could even process what it was.
"So…" Dr.Hemor began, hands holding your file.
You gulped, you didn't understand why you felt so scared but something in his voice, the way his tone was serious but also kind and soft filled with something you couldn't put your finger on yet….pity maybe, scared you to your core.
"You have brain tumor….last stage" he said a little hesitantly, like he wasn't sure what were the right words to deliver such news.
"It's non curable. You have six months, tops eight"
Maybe there aren't any right words to deliver such news .
He kept on going about medication and treatments that could… well help you feel as comfortable as possible before the inevitable. His voice grew soft, like he could understand what this must feel like, but you honestly didn't catch any of it. Your world froze as the words 'you have six months' left his mouth.
You don't remember sitting in your car and driving home, don't remember unlocking the door and entering your house, don't remember how you've perched down the wall, pulled your knees to your chest and started to bawl your eyes out.
What were you suppose to do now?
You didn't want to leave the earth so fast, didn't want to leave your friends and family behind.... didn't want to leave Alexia behind.
You had so many dreams, so many thing you still had to accomplish, so many places you still had to visit….a future you still had to create with Alexia. But in a blink everything was ruined. Your disease had ruined everything. You had ruined everything.
Even though your life was going down the shackles, your mind circled on only one person….Alexia. You couldn't do this to her. Couldn't burden her with something that would ruin her. Couldn't let her hold the weight of something that would eventually suffocate her.
And so you ran. Ran from the life you once knew. Packed your entire existence in a suitcase and fled to Mexico. Leaving behind a world that held all your memories….leaving behind her.
~
Sun rays were trying to find their way in your flat but your curtains wouldn't let them. You didn't feel like soaking up the fresh rays when your felt so alone and dark inside. So you let the curtains do their job, darkness covering you literally, for three months straight.
You sat in your bed, back resting against headboard as you cradled a photo frame of you and Alexia in your hand, your thumb gently running across her picture.
You were so happy in that picture, an emotion which felt foreign to you now.
A part of you knew that Alexia would've left everything behind to be there for you, would've held you as you cried, would've spent every last penny to get you the best treatment. Hell, you were sure if possible she would've turned to world upside down to search for a cure that didn't exist.
And that's what scared you the most. You knew how deeply Alexia cared for you, how passionately she loved you.
So you couldn't let her watch you slip out of her fingers day by day, couldn't let her watch the life drain out of you, couldn't let her watch you go when all you wanted was to stay. It wouldn't be fair to her.
It would break her piece by piece, day by day, watching helplessly as you slipped away, her heart breaking with each breath you take.
So you decided to break it in one go. Turned your back on her and left without a note. It was better then the torment she would have to face each day if you stayed.
Yes, she would be angry but that's what you wanted. You wanted her to be furious, wanted her to hate you, wanted her to forget you, wanted her to remove you from her memory and get a chance to happiness that she deserves.
Every single day you had to control yourselves from running back to her, stopping yourself from dialling her number, explaining your heart that the dreams it built were never coming true.
People always wonder what's worse? Loving someone you can't have? Or having someone you can't love? But for you it was leaving someone you can never unlove.
At the end, you still kept your word. You once told Alexia that you will love her till there was oxygen in your lungs, till light shone in your eyes, till death had to physically pull you apart.
And in three months you were going to prove it. She wouldn't know, she could never never know. But that was okay. Her memory was more than enough for you.
5 years ago you fell for her and once again you found yourself falling but with the impossibility of being with her.
But it was okay. It had to be okay.
----
The team had flown out to Mexico for a preseason friendly against a Liga MX Femenil All-Star team. As it was a friendly match everyone was comparatively relaxed and chilled for the match ahead. Everyone except one.
Alexia sat in the hotel lounge, sipping her protein shake. She was deeply engrossed in the iPad in front of her eyes, scanning the information about the players and tactics that could be helpful in their upcoming match.
Football had consumed her life. It was the only thing that felt constant when everything else was falling apart. It was the only thing that kept her going, which took her mind off everything, which gave her space where she could breath a little, feel a little. So she let it consume her, let herself drown in it and block everything else out.
She didn't notice as Ona entered the lounge and stood besides her. The team was worried about her. They noticed how their confident, full of life captain had become a shell of a person she once was. How the fire drained out of her and they couldn't do anything but watch her slowly burn out. They watched as she threw herself in training and wouldn't let herself catch a break as if football had answers to all of her problems.
There was no denying that the day you left, Alexia’s spirit cracked apart, and what remained was only a fragile shell moving through the motions of life. But they tried, tried to fill the cracks with care, affection, movies, jokes, snacks, friendship, with everything that she needed. Only for her to keep falling into the abyss of her grief.
And it hurt, god it hurt to look at their friend, their support, la Reina in such a state and couldn't help do anything to take it away.
“Ale..” Ona approached very slowly, as if approaching a terrified child, scared any loud voice would scare them away.
Alexia looked up, face blank, eyes hollow, indicating Ona to go on
"We uhm… everyone is ready for the team walk, they are waiting for you"
Alexia nodded and started collecting her things. Her travel mug in one hand, iPad and a few analytic papers in another. She got up from her seat and headed straight towards the reception area where her team had gathered without casting another glance at Ona or muttering a word.
Lately, that's all they got from her. Besides asking for the ball or instructing her mates on the pitch, they would be lucky to hear a word outside it. A nod, barely there, was how far she went as a response to anything.
Ona stared at Alexia’s back for a moment before sighing and following her out, her chest tightening with the ache of helplessness. She wanted to reach out, to stop her, but the Alexia she once knew felt too far gone.
You headed out of your apartment to grab some coffee from your local cafe. You were growing weaker by the day and were advised to rest as much as possible. But a morning walk couldn’t hurt besides you were sure it was much more beneficial then roting in your gloomy house, losing yourself dreaming about the future you knew would never come true anyway.
So you stepped out, ready to face the music. Head down, hands in your hood pocket, taking the usual path that led you to your destination.
The team was heading towards a little cafe that was tucked around the corner. It was small and usually had less customers, perfect for their outing.
Alexia was walking a little back from the group, not looking where they were going but instead focused on the papers in her hand.
She was immersed in it, attention unwavering when suddenly someone bumped hard into her shoulder. She stumbled back a little and the papers slipped from her grip and scattered on the footpath.
“Shit, I'm so sorry.” the person quickly apologised, bending down to pick up the papers not looking up to see who she bumped into.
Alexia stopped dead in her tracks. Her eyes flew wide, mind still in shock, not believing, not being able to process the person in front of her.
It was almost as if she saw a ghost. A creature that didn't exist but still dreamed to meet one day. Her hands shook, eyes watery. For a moment she thought it was a dream but your voice cut through her haze.
She could recognise that voice even in her sleep, could make out that figure from miles apart because it belonged to the one person she had been yearning for….. Because it belonged to you.
You had no idea what was happening as you muttered quick apologies and scrambled to grab the papers off the floor.
“Y/n…” Alexia breathed out, her voice shaky, a tear slipping down her cheek. Voice so soft, so low almost like air escaping her lips, a whisper others couldn't hear.
But you did. Of course you did.
You froze. Your body wouldn't move. Hand freezing mid-air, breath stuck in your lungs, mind suddenly blank.
You couldn't believe the voice that you just heard.
Maybe the world really was small.
You head tilted up very slowly, as if it didn't believe any of this was true, that your diseases was just playing a sick prank on you, making you hallucinate about the only person that mattered to you. The only person you've been begging for since the moment you Left. The only person, no matter how much your heart protested, you couldn't be with.
This has to be a dream, yes that was it. A dream. That all your mind could think of in that moment.
But that was soon shattered when your eyes finally met the watery green ones, that contained nothing but pain and longing in them, a feeling similar to yours.
And suddenly, the word, the name, that you once said like a prayer left your lips. The one your soul craved for but you suppressed it with everything you had, to stop it from escaping your lips and ruining everything you've tried to build
pairing ₊⊹ idol!lee heeseung x idol!reader. reader is a member of le sserafim. mentioned of seventeen in the background. genre: fluff.
THE NERVES WERE EATING at your stomach, your fingers fidgeting with the hem of your Prada dress as the black SUV edged forward into the sea of screaming fans. Cameras were pointed in every direction, flashing at the immaculate image of idols arriving for the Prada x Chrome Hearts event. Chaewon peered over from her seat, lips twisted into a smirk.
"You're going to ruin that dress if you keep fidgeting," she giggled as you looked back at the rearview mirror nervously again.
You nibbled your lip and looked at your makeup, your bangs, the curve of your liner. "I'm just making sure I look fine, that's all," you mumbled.
Chaewon squinted at you, amused. "Who are you trying to look good for?" she tilted her head coyly.
"N-no one!" you reacted hastily, quickly and too stiffly.
"Liar," she sung, nudging you with her elbow. "Is it... Yeonjun? Jay? Me?"
You rolled your eyes. "Shut up—and no, it is not them."
"Mmhm," she hummed, eyes sparkling. "I'll find out."
But your focus was already outside, watching the blur of fans and security and polished idols stepping out of luxury cars. You clutched the handle of the car door, your heart thudding like a bass drum inside your ribcage.
It wasn't just nerves. It was him.
Lee Heeseung.
You hadn't seen him in years. Not since high school. Back when he was just the dreamy senior who was good at basketball and unknowingly stole your heart with the kindest smile you have ever seen. He was good at everything—Math, English, Sports, and even making you think you were the only person in a room without even trying.
You still remembered that day like it was tattooed into your memory.
"Woah, that's kinda insane..." he chuckled when he saw the giant red 0/100 scrawled across your test. He'd kneeled in front of you, still holding the basketball he'd come to retrieve, and somehow ended up spending the rest of the period trying to explain every question. His voice had been so patient, and his laugh—god, that laugh—was the exact moment you fell, hard.
But you never told him. You never had to.
And now you were both idols. At the same company. Breathing the same rarefied air. He had debuted in 2020. You in 2022. So many things have changed—your status, your career, your world—but you still didn't know if he remembered you.
The car door opened. Your stylist brushed your hair one more time, tilting your bangs just right and framing your face perfectly. You stepped out to the sound of fans cheering, the shine from your Chrome Hearts jewelry, the click of your Prada heels on the concrete, and the way your black dress hugged your body in all the right places. You gave a shy, awkward peace sign to the cameras; even though you were wearing an outfit that screamed confidence, you still felt shy.
That's just what they knew you as: the reserved one with the bold fashion. And then you saw him.
Heeseung.
He was a few meters away, surrounded by his group, but your eyes found him like the matching pieces of a puzzle. His cherry-dyed hair shimmered under the sunlight, pushed back to reveal his forehead. He wore a black blazer; it was slightly open and the slope of his chest peeked out beneath it. His smile—relaxed, radiant, effortless—was aimed at his fans, but it was enough to make your knees weak.
You turned away quickly, hoping the camera didn't catch the flush rushing to your cheeks.
You walked over to the barricade, fans calling your name, holding banners and gifts. You bent over a bit, reaching out for a smaller envelope that a younger fan had decorated by hand—when out of no where—CRASH.
The metal barricade was shaking as it let out a loud screeching noise. The force of the crowd behind it was becoming too much, fans rushing forward in a frenzy. Your body was in shock as you involuntarily jerked backward, your heels was off balance.Before the security could act—before the others could step in, Heeseung was there.
His hand was quick to move, gripping onto your arm, and yanking you back promptly. You almost tripped because your heel got stuck on the pavement, but successfully pulled you back with a good hold. Heeseung wrapped his arm protectively around your back, eyes wide and looking upon your face.
"Are you okay?" he asked, voice low, tense.
Your heart was racing. Not just because of the barricade. But because of him. He was so close. He still smelled the same. His cologne—a warm, soapy, skin-like smell. His hand was still on your waist, and his eyes weren't moving from yours.
You blinked a few times, trying to catch your breath. "Y-Yeah," you whispered.
Heeseung let out a shaky breath of relief then looked down at the barricade being put back in place by the guards, then looked back at you. "Be careful next time." He murmured, softer now. "I can't have you getting hurt out here."
Just like that—you were fifteen again, sitting on the bleachers, flustered over a math test, watched the boy you liked kneel down and save you from your own disaster. Only now... he wasn't just a crush.
And you weren't just a kid anymore.
When your members—Chaewon, Yunjin, Kazuha—rushed over to see you, their faces racked with concern, you nodded and waved the whole moment away. "I'm fine," you said breathlessly, still jacked with adrenaline and simply trying to take a second to breathe. "Just... still a little shocked."
"Those fans were crazy," Yunjin mumbled, resting a hand so softly on your back. "Are you sure you're okay?"
You nodded again, practicing a weak smile. "Yeah. Just glad that nobody got hurt."
Security finally got the crazy crowd to chill out, and thankfully the fans were being escorted out now that the red carpet section was over. As a group moved into the closed off event space, with climate control, and a sleek and polished look fit for fashion week, you let out a deep breath.
The chaos outside was replaced with glimmering lights, soft music, and displays of the newest Prada x Chrome Hearts collaboration. You found yourself slowly wandering from one collection display to another, letting the elegance of the pieces distract you.
Your eyes locked onto one thing: a sleek, silver Prada x Chrome Hearts necklace with intricate detailing and tiny cross pendants. It practically screamed your name. A stylist who noticed your fascination smiled and gestured for you to try it on.
"They are right—you can try it—go ahead," they urged gently.
You hesitated only for a second before reaching for it. It was light-weight yet sturdy. You held it delicately as you turned toward the mirror, cautiously working the clasp behind your neck. All of a sudden, another hand glided over your skin, took the clasp from your fingers.
You froze. "Here—let me."
You caught your breath. You slowly turned, almost too slowly and there he was.
Heeseung.
In person, he was much taller than you remembered. His cherry-red hair flared at the ends, his black Prada blazer fitted like a glove. And there was the slightest smirk dancing on his lips as he stepped back, classic Heeseung satisfaction as his fingers grazed your neck for one second longer.
"Thanks..." you mumbled, face burning as you turned to check out the necklace in the mirror instead of facing Heeseung.
"Are you..." he spoke slowly, almost teasing, "...that girl that got a zero for a grade on her math test in middle school?"
You quickly flicked your eyes up. "Huh?"
"I remember you—the junior always hanging around the bleachers. Always struggling to do the math equations," he chuckled softly. "I thought it was you, but I wasn't sure until just now."
"Yep," you said, your lips twitching. "That was me."
"No way you became an idol," he said, leaning slightly towards you, genuinely shocked. "I didn't think that was your deal."
"And why is that?"
"Because idols don't study math."
You rolled your eyes and let out a breathy laugh. "Oh, shut up."
His smile widened at that, and something in your response must have brought him more amusement than it should have. You gently unclasped the necklace and returned it to the staff, trying to calm your hammering heart, you needed to breathe. But Heeseung fell into step next to you as you walked toward another part of the exhibit.
He kept the conversation moving, asking how debut life was treating you, which member was the loudest, if you still hated math (you did). He was as easygoing and smooth as ever. Meanwhile, you were struggling to keep from combusting internally, unsure if it was because of the lingering scent of his cologne or how naturally he carried the conversation.
You didn't even realize how much time passed until one of his members called him over.
"Heeseung! Come on, they're waiting for our clip."
He looked back at you and gave you that soft, boyish wave. "Catch you later, math girl."
You waved back, awkwardly. "Bye, basketball boy."
He laughed. "You remembered that?"
Of course you remembered. When he left, you returned to your group just in time to record your own stuff. But Yunjin wasn't going to let anything slide. "I knew it wasn't Yeonjun," she whispered, sliding up next to you as the cameras rolled. "So, that's who you were being all shy about in the car."
You didn't say anything. Your silence spoke everything.
"Oh my God. You're down bad," Eunchae teased.
The event concluded in a flurry of farewells and flashes from cameras. Days passed—and just as things seemed to calm down, the internet exploded.It started with a fan-taken video on Twitter: the moment the barricade fell. Instead of the chaos, fans pointed their attention at him—the way Heeseung pulled you back without hesitation, arm around you fully, and the moment both of your eyes locked for a split-second.
"WAIT... is that Y/n from LE SSERAFIM??"
"They look way too comfortable—what's going on??"
"He pulled her like they're close CLOSE."
"The way she looked at him... yeah something's up."
Then came the behind-the-scenes vlog drop. A tiny moment, barely a blip: Heeseung clasping a necklace around your neck. Nothing dramatic. Nothing scripted.
Zoomed in. Cropped. Slowed. Captioned: "WHO DOES THIS UNPROMPTED???"
Within hours, you were trending.
"Wasn't her ideal type older, flirty, a gamer, and played basketball???"
"HELLO?? That's literally Lee Heeseung."
"No because they both went to the same school??"
"Bet they've probably have been close since then and just kept it secret."
"All you jealous girlies have to relax, let them breathe 😭"
"LE SSERAFIM x ENHYPEN collab WHEN. WE NEED IT."
Of course, the hate comments were there too. Jealous stans picking at your every little interaction. Some accused you of "using" the moment for clout. Others attacked Heeseung for "being too obvious." At the end of the day, it seemed like the majority were shipping you two HARD.
Later that night, you decided to go on live on Weverse to check on your fans, but as soon as you opened the comment section that's when it came!
"HEESEUNG 😭😭😭"
"GIRL YOU DIDN'T TELL US Y'ALL WERE FRIENDS???"
"NOT THE NECKLACE SCENE I CANNOT"
"Say it now. Are y'all dating???"
"Y'all knew each other back then huh 👀"
You let out a shaky chuckle and looked at the chat, trying your hardest to hold your composure and look cool. "He was... my senior," you finally said, eyes flickering to the camera, lips tugging into a tight smile. "I didn't know him like that..."
The silence stretched on as you looked away from the comments that were racing by. The tips of your ears—traitorous pink—betrayed you as you maintained a straight face. You tucked your hair behind your ear glancing back at your screen.
"You all are really reaching," you joked lightly, though your voice quivered just enough to out you. The chat exploded.
"NAH SHE'S BLUSHING 😭😭😭"
"SHE'S GONEEEE"
"EAR CHECK?? YUP. RED."
"They know each other more than she's letting on💀"
"She's denying it like a k-drama female lead I can't 😭"
You playfully hid your face in your sleeve and groaned. "Okay—next topic!" You laughed pushing to get the subject away from Heeseung. But it was too late. You ended the live a little while later, smiling softly and waving goodbye. "Goodnight, Fearnots. Be nice okay? Don't get carried away."
But as soon as you ended the stream, your phone buzzed with a new message.
heehee 🏀: "Didn't know I made your ears turn red."
You froze. Stared. And maybe smiled like a highschool girl in love.
Summary: One morning, Katniss accidentally walks in on Peeta during a private moment. After a long day of avoiding him, she finds out what he was thinking about.
Light psych, sunshine pop, popsike? Call it what you will, but this this pop group from upstate New York recorded a fine example of the genre. Written by Peter Asher (Peter and Gordon)and Roger Nichols (Steely Dan producer)
