Written By Nova

i write these thoughts down so that maybe they will stop laying so heavily in my mind

[writtenbynova]

They say dissociation isn’t healthy, but it’s the healthiest coping mechanism I have.

[writtenbynova]

All I think about is dying.

Not in a suicidal way but more like, “How long do I have left? Will I go peacefully, or will I suffer? Is there a heaven, a hell, or nothing waiting for me on the other side? I’m going to die. One day I will die. One day I’ll be dead….” And on and on and on.

I think about death as often as I breathe. I suppose only when I stop breathing, will I finally stop thinking about death.

[writtenbynova]

Mom, I’m sorry for being such a burden.

I’m sorry for being a failure.

I’m sorry for being me.

I’m sorry.

[miybby]

trying not to go insane. might be too late

[writtenbynova]

Sometimes I fear I’m not human. My depression has made me so detached and numb that I look at those around me enviously. I feel like an alien. Alienated by my own species, nonetheless.

They’re all so… human. Flawed, but still beautiful in their own way. So often scarred, but moving forward despite the pain in their past. They find such fun in simple pleasures. They splash in water, dance in rain, and run back and forth on fields, chasing a ball like puppies.

Oh, how I wish to be human like them, you know the humans that smile so easily, their laughter like music, and their eyes twinkling with a contentment I can’t imagine.

[writtenbynova]

I like to burn. The sting helps remind me that I’m alive.

[writtenbynova]

can I unsubscribe to life?

[writtenbynova]

Another day and another reason to hate myself.

[writtenbynova]

I want to be okay again

[writtenbynova]

depression surrounds me like a thick fog that I cannot see my way out of and I’m becoming too tired to keep trying

[writtenbynova]

No one will ever hate me as much as I hate myself.

[writtenbynova]

I’m a canvas

and am in need of an artist

to paint over the messy red lines

I left in wake of my mistakes.

But I fear

no artist will touch me

because I’m not

a happy little accident.

For not even Mr. Ross

could take my red

and create a sunrise.

-written by nova

[omenalehto]

the air after thunderstorm was so soft

[writtenbynova]

Did you know

she ruined everything?

Killed my joy

and stole my hope

til the stars no longer shined,

and the sun stopped rising.

The world lost its color,

drained dry of beauty…

because of her,

the one in the mirror.

she ruins everything.

-written crappily by nova