Bedazzled Part 2 - Dr. Robby's carefully private life is exposed when his girlfriend arrives at the ER after a violent attack.
The Festival - In the midst of the tragic mass shooting, ER doctor Robby fights to save lives—unaware that the love of his life is among the wounded.
First Date Second Date Third Date Part 4 - When Robby is pushed to try online dating he's very hesitant. Talking to someone online is entirely different than seeing them up close in person... and he's not even sure he's ready.
Jealousy, Jealousy - Robby’s girlfriend feels jealous when she sees him interacting with his ex
The Sabbatical - Robby's wife is upset he didn't tell her about his sabbatical and that she learns about it through hospital gossip... and that he doesn't wear a helmet.
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Dr. Jack Abbot
Baby time - Jack's wife delivering their first baby!
Fear of flying - When Jack's father dies you really want to support him... but you also have a great fear of flying
I rewrote the scene of Dana and Robby fighting into you and Robby fighting plus some extra. You are married. Not really sure where this came from or if it's really that good but maybe weird to say lol but I loved the fight between Robby and Dana, their acting is amazing! This sat in my drafts for a while and I just decided why not post it lol
She/her pronouns, no physical descriptions
Anyway... enjoy!
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Michael. Dr. Robby. The person you love most in the world despite the last few months he’s made it very difficult. Since his decision to take a sabbatical, alone, and go on a motorcycle trip up the East Coast. He’s been distant. Staying later and giving you the keys to the car to go home without him or he rides that… fucking bike. He rarely initiates any intimacy and least of all sex.
You’ve tried very hard to be supportive. You know he’s going though a lot. And having been with him as long as you have you know how he deal with his feelings.
He doesn’t.
“So… it’s Frank’s first day back.” You say, pulling the black scrub top over your head.
“Mhm.” He doesn’t look up from his tablet. Reading glasses perched over his nose.
“What do you think about that?”
“Are you my psychiatrist now?” His voice trying to be playful but you know it’s a warning.
“I’m your wife who’s curious on how her husband feels about a friend who’s coming back for his first day in ten months in the very place that helped feed his addiction. And I'm an attending that is worried about her another attending's relationships with our residents.” You cross your arms over your chest. Robby didn’t ever tell you exactly what happened with Langdon, though you know he was incredibly hurt by it, but enough since you both ran the emergency department together he told you enough and you tried to piece the rest on your own.
“It’s fine. He's… fine.” He brushes you off. Dumping the rest of his coffee into the sink. “I’m taking my bike today.” His hand lingers across your shoulder blades as he walks through the doorway.
“You’ll wear your helmet this time right?” Grabbing his wrist so he can’t ignoring the question. The time you found out he didn’t wear a helmet on his motorcycle…
“Of course.” A kiss is pressed to your forehead. “See you at work.”
Then he’s gone.
You sigh.
You keep an eye on your husband through the shift. Watching Langdon with a kicked puppy look on his face. Trying to find his place again after 10 months away.
You watch the way your husband dismisses him an sends him to triage.
“Stop that.” You whack his bicep.
“Ouch. Stop what?”
“You know what.”
“We need doctor in triage.” His hands up in surrender.
“You know that’s not why you sent him over there. You’re an adult. Act like one.” Giving him a sharp look before turning and walking down the hall.
Then comes 6pm. Listening to Robby completely undermine and make Langdon feel inferior. You watch the smile fall and the confidence in the resident diminish. Your eyes flash. Angry. “Dr. Robinavitch? Can I talk to you?” Your voice professional. Tight. Business. His single nod and follows you to the ambulance bay. He knows he’s in trouble.
“What is wrong with you today?” You accuse immediately.
“Samira missed a triple a. Mel and Ellis had a deposition, McKay is treating people in the park... Fucking Langdon-“
You take a step closer to him. “At some point you and Langdon gotta work things out.”
“I don’t want him here.” Robby suddenly blows up. His hands flying out beside him. You don’t even flinch.
“He made a mistake and he paid for it.” You reply calmly. Trying not to react similarly to your husband.
“Did he?” He steps closer. His body towering over yours. “Did he go to jail? Because I let him get away with a crime so what does that make me?”
“Human!” You snap, your face pushing into his. “Are you angry at him or are you angry at you? Months I’ve let you sit with this. Let you push me away.”
“Someone could have died.” He reasons poorly.
“Oh it’s the ED, someone’s always dying-“
“Yeah, make jokes. Make jokes instead of acknowledging that-“
You cut him off, “he didn’t kill anybody.”
“That we know of.” Robby’s head tilts.
“And he saved a lot of lives that we do know of. Our kids disappoint us sometimes.”
His hands rest on the back of his head, looking over your shoulder. “Langdon is not a kid.”
“No but he’s your guy and you’re taking it personally. Langdon fucked up and you think that makes you look bad.” Stepping closer to him again, this time your finger pointing to his chest then out towards the ER doors, “but it’s on him.”
“How am I supposed to leave this place when it’s a shit show?” He smiles bitterly.
“First you can’t stay now you can’t go?” Hands move to your scrub pockets. “Honey… what is it? Talk to me.” Trying to find his eyes with your own.
“I’m leaving… taking some time off.” Shaking his head. “I just thought I could leave this place a little better when I did.”
The finality in his tone. The way you read between the lines. It makes your stomach drop. “Don’t be such a martyr. This place is always teetering on the brink of disaster with or without you. I love you Michael. So much but you don't get to be an asshole and push everyone away. Least of all me and then pretend you're doing it for my own good. I don't want or need that. I'm a big girl. If you really want to leave, leave here and leave me…” You can’t help the words that stumble out of you, “I know you don’t have a mother, so stop acting like you fucking need one.”
Not wanting to say anything else you regret, you leave him standing there. The ED doors opening up and letting you in.
It wasn’t how you wanted that conversation to go. You know it’s not a way to talk to someone who is on the brink of making a dark decision. As sick as it feels thinking that your husband is considering it. But you also can’t help it.
From being emotionally distant to physically then pent up tension you have with the man you love with. Who wears a matching ring on his left hand. It was hard to keep the pent up feelings contained.
For the next few hours Robby seemed to avoid you and there was certainly a lot going on this holiday weekend that kept you busy enough anyway to barely notice.
It’s not until 7, when your shift is over while standing at the nurses station to finish digitalizing charts, every once in a while looking up and around for your husband.
“He’s still here, right?” Finding Abbot as he’s making sure the day shift gets their charting done before they leave.
Jack nods, “trauma two.”
You nod. “Is the uh… do you think the night shift looking for any more attendings?” Shifting the conversation slightly. Not moving to actually go and find Robby. Knowing he’s not going to leave on time.
“Yeah? Looking to switch?” He looks surprised.
“More like I could pick up a few doubles or something. I’m going to have a lot of extra time on my hands.” Trying to laugh.
“Ahh. That’s right. The sabbatical. Shen was upset we didn’t have a cake.” Jack smiles back.
“Of course he was. You know Robby though.”
“Just as much as you do.”
“Maybe even more than I do. You think he’s going to be on time tonight?” You tilt your head.
“No.” Jack responds honestly and that makes you laugh for real. A genuine laugh you haven’t had in what felt like years. Then it cuts off, a choked sound and you cover your mouth with your fingers.
“Are you okay?” He asks.
The simple question brings tears to your eyes. “I’m sad. Angry. A mixture of the two. Concerned that my husband won’t come back in one piece.” You try to bite your lip to keep the tears away. “… I wouldn’t survive that.” A shake of your head. “But I don’t know how to help him.”
Jack's hand rests on your shoulder then brings you in for a side hug. "He wouldn't do that to you."
"You're not allowed to lie to me Jack." Turning you with his hands on your shoulders and his head dipping to catch your eyes. "Can you talk to him?" You ask.
"I tried. He's not going to listen to me more than he does you."
You sigh heavily, head falling back then against his chest. He lets you breathe there for a moment before gently pulling you up.
"Should I be worried about what's going on here?" Robby's voice behind them. Trying to be light, playful. Ignoring the argument from a few hours ago.
You give him a small, timid, smile. "Ready to go?"
He shakes his head once. "In a minute. Gotta talk to Duke about something real quick. You don't gotta wait for me. Took my bike, remember?"
You nod, "Right."
With a lingering look to Jack after Robby walks down the hall, you turn and leave the hospital.
Holding in all of your anger, frustration, worry, which have materialized into tears the sliding ER doors open mechanically and you walk outside. The first thing you notice are the motorcycles parked outside of the hospital, near the ambulances.
You know which one is Robby's. It's been plaguing your nightmares for months since he got it. The little green monster that eats your stomach when he mentions the bike or when you hear it in the garage of your shared home. It's silly really, to be so jealous of a bike but you can't help it. He's been choosing the pieces of metal over you for months.
That anger, worry, and frustration builds through your body and before you can try to think of anything better to do your leg lifts and with a forceful kick the bike topples over and creates a domino effect to the one next to it.
“What the fuck?” Robby. Behind you. Seeing the aftermath of what you’d just done. There’s no denying it was you. “Why the fuck would you do that?” He grabs your shoulder and turns you around.
His eyes flash angry. They’ve never looked so angry at you.
Then he sees the tears. The way your lip wobbles. The sob that chokes out of your mouth. His expression drops and instead of anger he looks more… lost? “Why did you do that?” His voice softens. Taking your face gently in his hands.
You don’t answer. “I just… don’t know why you won’t talk to me.” Tears slide down your cheeks.
Robby takes a step back. Looking at the bike. Then he moves to pick it up. You help. “Do you think it’s still rideable?” You voice a whisper.
He looks it over. “I think it’s just cosmetic damage. I’ll have Duke take a look at it. Make sure.”
Then there’s a silence between them.
Then tension is thick. Thicker than the hot humid July air.
Robby eventually turns. Looking down at you. “I’ve never wanted…” he struggles to figure out what to say. “I’ve never wanted to worry you.”
“I do that anyway. There’s not much you could do to change it.”
He nods. “I know.”
“I would never force you to do or not do anything.” You say. “But we are married and I would like to know whether or not my husband is going to come back home in three months.” You force yourself not to get angry again. A single tear down your cheek. “And I don’t need to know all the details but I don’t deserve to be pushed away.” Looking into his eyes. “I’m sorry I pushed your bike over.” You step towards him. Up on your toes and a kiss pressed to his chin. “I’ll see you at home.” A whisper then with a lingering hand on his cheek you leave him standing there.
It’s late but not as late as he usually gets home. You’re still up. Dressed in pajamas with a wine glass in your hand and the tv playing on a low volume.
He comes in quietly. “Wheel of Fortune.” He comments in the doorway. “My favorite.” He doesn’t get an answer or even really a glance his way.
Robby disappears down the hall and then returns in clean clothes. You silently scoot over to make room when his stands beside the couch.
He sits close to you, pulling you to his chest. Moving your legs over his thighs. His lips press against the crown of your head for a long time and he breathes you in. “I love you.” His voice in your ear.
“I love you too.” Your voice cracks.
His fingers hook under your chin, lifting to make you look at him. His thumb wipes away a tear. “I’m sorry. For everything I’ve done to hurt you.”
You don’t answer. More tears come and you push your face into his neck. His hand runs over the back of your head.
“I’m going to come back. I promise. And then I’ll talk to someone. I’ll make the real effort.” More kisses to your head.
“I’ve been… it’s hard for me to explain in words but I just… I don’t want this to be the lesson I send to everyone. That running is the answer.” He tries to explain. You look up. Your fingers running over his beard. Nodding.
“I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you too honey.” Robby smiled softly.
He watches Wheel of Fortune and then Jeopardy after as you slowly falls asleep in his arms on the couch.
They both soak in the last few hours before he has to leave early the next morning. But you and Robby are hopeful for the future.
CW: She/ her pronouns used. No defining features described. You are described once as having absent parents.
When you finish grad school you don’t think anyone would care and when you tell your boyfriend, Jack, he wants to celebrate and he's a little sad that you don’t think anyone cares.
A little short: 917 words
I hope you enjoy this little fic!
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It doesn’t feel special. It’s a huge achievement, turning in your dissertation. Finally finishing grad school. A level of education you’ve dreamt about forever.
But it also feels like turning in any other paper. Except you didn’t spend nearly as many sleepless nights writing.
Sitting in your local coffee shop, half drank now cold cup of coffee beside your laptop. You feel lighter. Free from papers, assignments, readings.
But a heaviness sits in your belly too.
Who would you tell? Your parents aren’t around, friends busy with their own lives and always promise to call but never do and neither parties make much effort into the relationship…
Your boyfriend, Jack… would he care?
You’re not sure. He’s busy. Either working a night shift or sleeping for the next one. His busy schedule didn’t bother you much since you were the same. He’s an amazing doctor. Years and years of school and trainings. Leaps and bounds more accomplished than your masters degree.
“This seat taken?” Your eyes snap up and you’re pulled from your thoughts.
The very man you were just thinking about moving to sit across from you.
“By you.” A small smile across your face. “Thought you were sleeping.” You check the clock. 5:41 pm.
He leans across the table, slowly closing the laptop, smiling. “I was. Saw your note on the table. Wanted to see you before my shift.” He nods once. “How’s the dissertation coming?”
You’re not sure why the question makes your stomach drop. Why are you considering lying?
Does it feel embarrassing? Someone feeling happy or wanting to celebrate your accomplishments?
Is it because you feel smaller, inadequate, to the man with extensive experience and knowledge?
“Uh…” you feel your cheeks heat up. “It’s… done.”
“Done?” He tilts his head.
“Just turned it in.” You nod. Your face turned down a little. Shrugging. Feeling awkward.
Jack leans in closer. His face breaking out into a bright smile. “Baby that’s amazing.”
“Yeah it’s- it’s… whatever-“
That makes him frown. “Whatever? You just finished grad school.” Jack tilts his head. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing!” You’re quick to say. “Nothing. It’s great. I’m happy… happy it’s over, you know?”
He watches you for a while. Giving you space to continue.
You rest your head in your hand. “I don’t want to make it a big deal.”
Jack frowns again. “Why not? Honey, this is huge. I am so proud of you. You should celebrate this. I really want to do this with you but I…” he trails off, looking upset with himself. “You should call up your friends. Go out.”
“No. It’s fine.” You wave him off. “I’ll buy myself a cupcake or something. It’s really not a big deal Jack.” Shaking your head.
He sighs. Nodding. “Walk me to work?” He stands, taking your cup and waiting for a nod before he takes it away.
Jack shoulders your backpack then takes your hand.
Outside he stops you from walking. Tilting your face up hands on on either side of your jaw. “I love you.”
“I love you too.” Leaning up into his kiss.
“I am so proud of you baby.” Pressing another kiss to your lips.
“Thanks Jack.” Trying to look away as you blush but he doesn’t let you.
“No. Listen to me. This is a huge accomplishment. And I can see it in your eyes. You think it doesn’t compare to mine or the things I’ve done but I don’t want you to do that. I’ve never wanted that for you. I don’t want you to think I wouldn’t care about something you’ve achieved because I’ve done it or more. I’m saying it again because you need to hear it. I. Am. So. Proud. Of. You.” His words punctuated with kisses to your cheeks.
Tears, happy ones, ones filled with overflowing joy and love, trail down your cheeks. “I love you.” A quiet hiccup.
Jack smiles, wiping the tear away. Then pressing more kisses to them.
He pulls you into the ER with him. Positioning you in front of him. “Listen up everyone.” Shouting and waiting for both day and night shift of both doctors and nurses to look up, “this girl just finished her masters degree.” He states loudly.
You push your face into your hands. Both a little embarrassed but also trying to hide the huge smile on your face.
The room erupts into cheers. Dana, one of the nurses Jack works with that you’ve met, comes over and gives you a tight hug. “Congrats honey.”
“Thanks.” Returning the hug.
Robby gives you a hug too, with a soft pat on the back.
“Thanks Robby.” You smile up at him.
When the congratulations subside you turn back to Jack whose been watching you with nothing but love written across his face.
“Thank you.” Stepping closer to him.
“For what?” His hands moving to your hips.
“For always making me feel like I deserve good things.”
“I’m glad I can do that for you baby. Though I admit it makes me a little sad to think of you not feeling this way before we met.”
“That doesn’t matter anymore.” You shake your head, shrugging.
“I’m off tomorrow. And I promise, we’re gonna celebrate you for real.” He leans down, kissing you. “Yeah?”
“Yeah, okay.” You kiss him back.
“Now.” He pats your ass before sliding his wallet into your jeans as he walks you out. “Go get yourself something expensive… and a cupcake.”
Giggling, you give him one last kiss before walking away.
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Unedited... I hope this was good
I may add something to this in the future. But for now... here!
When Jack's father dies you want to support him.. but you are also very afraid of flying
Content warning: Some angst, hurt/ comfort, slight descriptions of a panic attack, fear of flying
2nd POV, I am a woman and wrote it with a woman reader in mind but I don't think there's any use of she/her pronouns in this.
Jack calls reader honey and baby
I don't think I used any descriptions of the reader other than a mention of Jack being able to run his hand through your hair.
1.5k words
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Jack was a man of many words. He always had words of encouragement or advice to give to the med students, the residents, his fellow attendings. You really loved that about him. The way he moved his eye-line to yours so that he knew you were listening.
It wasn’t often that Jack didn’t know what to do.
“What’s wrong?” You ask, almost a little casually, watching the almost sad and pensive look on his face.
“Uh… nothing.” He waved you off. “Go help Shen in trauma 2.” Then he walks down the hall.
You stand there, cheeks now a little flushed, confused. Your boyfriend had never completely dismissed you before.
Bridgette, the charge nurse, gives you a sympathetic smile. Having watched all of that from the nurses desk. You ignore it and go find Shen.
You stew in the interaction. Though it was brief. It was uncommon for him to act that way. You were confused.
Through the rest of the night shift you avoid Jack. He doesn’t seem to notice. He doesn’t come find you and ask what was wrong. Which only frustrates and upsets you more.
At home you watch from the bed as Jack pulls the blackout curtains closed so the inflight doesn’t peek through while you sleep. You don’t get up and help like your normally would. Hoping the small change would tip him off that something was amiss.
He doesn’t notice.
You lay with your back turned to him. Listening as he takes his prosthetic off and lays down. You hope he doesn’t wrap his arm around you.
But then, when he doesn’t, you feel a silent tear trail down your cheek. You push them away and force yourself to sleep.
You wake up at 2. Glancing slightly to the other side of the bed you find Jack still asleep. It’s not really common for one to wake up earlier than the other though if you had to guess it usually him.
He comes downstairs at 4. You’re sitting at the breakfast bar in front of the kitchen. You force yourself not to look up from the book in your hands.
Jack presses a kiss to your head. In your peripheral you see him frown when you don’t turn your head to kiss him back like usual.
“What do you want to eat?” He asks, opening the fridge.
“I already ate.” Your reply short. Tone indicating irritation.
You hear the fridge door close softly. A slight clink of glass from inside.
He walks over. The click of his prosthetic loud in the otherwise silent room.
He turns the bar chair and carefully takes the book out of your hands. Fingers gently tips your head up to his. “What’s wrong?”
You sigh, “nothing.” Trying to look away but he follows.
“You avoided me our entire shift, walked home alone though we drove together, and slept miles away last night.” His tone isn’t accusatory but informing her that he did in fact notice.
But chose not to say anything until now.
You don’t answer right away.
“Baby…” his hands cup your face. “What did I do?”
You bite your lip as it wobbles. “I asked you what was wrong and you dismissed me.”
Jack sighs. He lets his head fall. Taking a deep breath. Then looking back up.
“My dad died.” He tells you.
“Your dad?” You frown. Eyebrows pulling together. You don’t know much about Jack’s father. Other than he was in the military too and that he was strict.
“Heart attack.” Jack nods once. “And I just… I don’t know what to do about it. He wasn’t… he wasn’t really ever around. And when he was…” Jack trails off but you think you understand.
“I have to go to Texas for the funeral.” He sighs heavily. “I didn’t mean to dismiss you baby.” Pressing a long lingering kiss to your temple. “I’m in my head… and it’s not an excuse. I shouldn’t have push you away like that. Forgive me?”
You smile, looking up and kissing his lips. “Of course. I’m sorry about your dad.”
“Don’t be.” He waves you off.
“I want… can I- would it be too much to go with you?”
“I wouldn’t ask you to come with me.” He shakes his head.
“You’re not. I want to.” You don’t think about the fact that he said Texas which would likely mean a plane ride.
He smiles softly. “Alright.” Kissing your mouth.
Two weeks later you were trying not to freak out as you pack your suitcase.
It wasn’t that you were afraid of flying… well…
It was irrational. You know that. Or at least you try to tell yourself that.
“Everything okay?” The voice behind you causes the sharp seize of your heart and you jump. A cold sweat flushing through your body.
“Woah. Sorry baby, I didn’t mean to scare you.” His hand touches your back gently. “Are you okay?”
You swallow. Forcing a nod and a smile. It’s unconvincing. You know that.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be sorry.” Jack kissed your cheek. Wrapping arms around you from behind. “Is there any reason you’re so jumpy? Hmm?” Voice in your ear that has you relaxing easily.
“No.. I don’t know.” You shrug.
“If this trip makes you uncomfortable you really don’t have to come.” He says.
You turn, hands on his face. “No. No, that’s- I want to support you.”
“I don’t…” He tries to find the words. “I haven’t seen my family in years. Especially not my dad. So I don’t know who I’m going to be around them.”
“I’m not scared of that.” You shake your head.
Jack smiles softly. Pulling you in for a kiss. “I love you.”
“I love you too.”
The next morning, early, it was time to leave.
You try to hide the subtle shake of your hands. Twisting in your lap in the passenger seat.
“You’re quiet.” He comments, one hand moving from the steering wheel and resting on your thigh. Usually you’d take his hand and wrap your fingers together.
He glances at your hand, noting you didn’t grab his.
“Just tired. It’s early.” You shrug it off.
Jack nods, taking that answer for now.
He stays quiet after that too. You don’t notice it but he watches you. Observing.
He notes the way you pick at the skin around your nails. The way you eventually resort to biting your nails.
The way your knee starts to shake.
The way you stand close to him as they walk through the airport but at the same time also a million miles away.
He notes how your chest moves quicker and subtly with his fingers around your wrist he finds your heart racing. He makes his diagnosis in his head and waits to see how to fix it.
Finally, it all comes to a head when the flight attendants finish their safety checks and the pilot finishes speaking.
“I- I-“ You panic. “Jack, I’m stuck-“ unable to breathe. “I need off. It’s- I’m stuck- I- I want off.” All of the pent up tension releases in a rush of panic.
He’s calm. Sturdy. “Okay. Here, honey, head between your knees.”
“N-no- Jack. It’s- we’re going to- I need off-“ You try to pull on the seatbelt and panic further when you cannot get it to open.
“Head between your legs.” His voice is sharp. Stern. But not mean. Carefully, he pushes your head to your knees.
Eventually, with his warm hand on your back, your breathing goes back to normal and he helps you sit up.
Tears are streaming down your face now. Choked sobs out of your throat.
Jack takes your face in his hands. “We’re safe.”
“This is a giant metal box going hundreds of miles an hour. I wouldn’t classify that as safe.” Your words wobbly with the tears.
He brings you in for a tight hug. His reassuring voice in your ear, “statistically. Our drive to the airport was more dangerous than this flight. And we survived that right?”
Though he asked a question, it was rhetorical and he keeps going.
“Modern aircraft have multiple backup systems for critical functions. If one system fails, another will take over. Airplanes undergo many maintenance checks and are monitored by the ground crews and computers.” Jack pulls your head back and pushes your hair from your face. “Want more?”
You nod. The facts were helping.
“Commercial pilots undergo thousands of hours of training and take regular evaluations. They’re trained to handle extreme situations, if that were to ever happen.” Jack presses a kiss to your cheek.
You sigh, pushing your face into his neck.
“Why didn’t you say you were afraid of flying?” His hands rubbing up and down your back.
“I just… I didn’t want to make this about me. We’re going to your father's funeral.” You try to explain.
“Just because we’re going to a funeral doesn’t mean you should minimize your fears.” He shakes his head. “I don’t want you to do that. My issues aren’t bigger or more important than yours.”
“I’m sorry-“ Jack cuts you off.
“I don’t want you to apologize either. We’re okay, honey.” He leans in, kissing your lips.
You wrap your arms around his hips, laying your head back on his shoulder. Closing your eyes.
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I hope that you enjoyed this, I'm not sure if I do... lol
I had the idea of a reader who was afraid of planes but didn't want to say anything but I didn't really know how to start or end it... anyway-
This was originally going to be about Robby but he pmo in tonights episode so I changed it to Abbot instead lol <3 I miss him...
Jack Abbot x female reader
Use of she/her pronouns but I don't think I described any physical features
No use of y/n
Word count: 1.2k
Content warning: Labor. Not graphic
I hope this is good haha...
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Being nine months pregnant is hard.
Everything hurts. Walking down the steps has you taking a three hour nap. The belly feels like it weighs 100 pounds.
“I can stay home tonight.” Jack says, watching his wife try to wave off the back pain while you make him something to eat before his shift.
“You never call in.” You answer.
“For my heavily pregnant wife I do.” He comes up behind you, his hands on your hips. Jack massages them in a way that he knows feels good.
“You can’t. They need you.” You say.
“You need me more.” His chin on your shoulder. Hands moving to cup your bump and lift it up. Smiling and pressing a kiss to your jaw when he hears the sigh of relief.
“I’ll be fine. Go. To work. It’s okay.” You nod.
Then, right before he leaves he catches his wife grabbing the counter and your chin in your chest. Breathing heavily.
“Hey- woah-“ setting his stuff down. His hands tentatively moving towards you. His brain racing in doctor mode.
“I’m fine.” You breathe out. “It was… what’s that thing called?”
“A contraction?”
“No.” Your voice annoyed. “The other one.”
“Braxton hicks. But baby…”
“It’s not labor. I’m fine. Go to work.”
He sighs. Knowing he’s not going to win this argument.
“You call me immediately if your water breaks or the contractions come more often.” He replies. Serious.
“I will.”
“Promise me.”
“I promise.” You kiss him softly. “See you later.”
It’s six hours later that his phone rings. It wasn’t usual for him to even have his phone with him on the floor let alone with the sound on.
But for his very pregnant wife who’d had a contraction, though you denied it, right before he left, he kept it on.
The ringing cut through the moment silence for a patient who didn’t make it. Jack quickly slips out of the room.
Six missed messages. Three missed calls. He isn’t sure how he missed these. His heart sinks. Stomach twisting.
Then you call again. He answers immediately.
“Hey honey, I’m sorry I missed your call.” He says.
“That’s um… that’s okay… so- so you said to call if it got worse.” You start.
“How long and how often?” His mind racing with a million different things. One being how quickly he can get home.
“Uhm… like just twenty minutes apart. I think. They don’t last very long but it… it hurts.” You explain.
“Okay. I’m coming home. I’ll be there soon. Did your water break?” He asks.
“Well I certainly didn’t pee myself all over our kitchen floor.” Your voice sharp. Then you sigh. Your voice wobbling like you’re about to cry. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to snap at you.”
“No baby. It’s okay. We’re okay.” He reassured you easily. “I’m going to be there soon. I love you.”
There’s an “I love you.” Mumbled back before he hangs up.
Arriving to their house he makes it in record time.
Calling out your name as he runs into the house.
“In here.” You mumble from somewhere.
He finds you in the living room. Kneeled on the floor. Leaning over the couch. Head over your arms.
“Oh honey.” He kneels beside you quickly. Taking mental notes of your breathing. “Don’t doctor me.” You whine quietly as he takes your wrist to check your pulse.
“Sorry baby.” Pressing a kiss to your wrist. “Was the fluid clear?” He asks. Slowly helping you up to sit on the couch.
“Hm?”
“When your water broke. Was it clear?”
You nod. “I think so.. You can check. It’s still all over the kitchen.”
A kiss is pressed to your temple. “Okay. Let’s go.” Slowly helping you up.
… halfway down the hallway you let out a heaving breath. Hunching over and letting out a pained whine.
“Breathe, honey.” His voice calm. Confident. His hands hold you easily. Making the contraction much more bearable (at least as bearable as it can be) than it was when you were alone.
Your arms hold onto his biceps. Head on his chest. “Mm… it hurts. Why does it hurt so bad?”
“You’re so strong.” You appreciated the way he doesn’t say “I know” or “you’re okay” to minimize the way you’re feeling. “Do you want a doctor answer or was that rhetorical?” He adds.
“…” you think for a moment. The pain passing for now. “What is the doctor answer?”
“Pain in the second stage of labor is dominated by tissue damage in the pelvis and perineum. Labor pain is due to an activation of nociceptors partly resulting from ischemia. The impulses thus generated are conducted into the spinal cord by afferent C fibers from the cervix and lower uterine segments, and by afferent Adelta and C fibers from the pelvis, pelvic organs and perineum.” He states, like he’s Google.
“Hm.. Interesting.” You reply. Taking it in.
The drive to the hospital is quick. Quiet. You’d originally wanted music to try and distract you but quickly it became too overwhelming and Jack quickly shut it off.
You are in the middle of a particularly painful contraction when he pulls into the parking lot.
“What do you need from me?” Jack has never felt at such a loss for what to do. He’s a very talented doctor but when it comes to supporting his spouse during labor… he feels like he’s at a loss.
“Just… just don’t leave me alone.” You say, gripping his hand.
“Never.” He presses a kiss to your hand.
The labor lasts hours. Feeling like it lasts forever. Through the rest of the night and then all day.
Jack hates watching his wife in pain. You lean over the bed. His hands on your hips helping you sway side to side.
“Jack?” You mumble, looking over your shoulder at him.
“Yes, my love?” His chin on your shoulder.
“It- it feels different… something’s… wrong?” Your head dips down. Letting out a low whine.
“Wrong?” He sounds concerned. “Is there pressure?”
“Yes.” You say.
“Can I check?”
At the consent of your nod his hand dips between your legs.
You hear a sharp intake of his breath and look back at him.
“Let’s get you on the bed.” He starts moving quickly.
“Why?” You let him help but breathing is faster and heart rate increases. “Is something wrong?”
“No.” He takes a deep breath of his own. “No. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to worry you.” He presses the nurses call button. “You’re fully dilated. That’s why there’s pressure. It’s time to push.”
In contrast to the hours and hours of labor the pushing was an actually the easy part.
Soon enough your daughter comes out slimy and screaming as she’s placed on your chest.
You look over, with tears in your eyes, finding Jack with his own tears running down his cheeks.
You smile, a hand on his cheek. Thumb rubbing the tears away.
“I love you. Thank you.”
“Thank me? For what?”
“Just… all of this. You turned off doctor mode when I really needed you. I know that must’ve been hard.”
In response he leans in and kisses you deeply.
Later, while you rest, Jack holds his newborn baby close to his chest. The sun slowly rising.
He thinks about how she’ll grow up. Who she’ll start to look more like. Who she’ll act like.
He glances back at his wife. Then smiles. Pressing a kiss to the infants temple.
Request - Can you write one where the reader is a resident and fights with Al-Hashimi over her AI thing? And Robby at first sides with her but then he nds up apologizing to the reader?
The trauma bay was loud. Monitors beeping. Nurses moving. Someone yelling for a portable chest x-ray. And in the middle of it all, Dr. Al-Hashimi’s tablet sat on the workstation like it owned the room. You slammed a chart down beside it.
“I’m not using that thing.”
Dr. Al-Hashimi didn’t even look up from the screen.
“It improves efficiency by forty percent.”
“It hallucinates medical information,” you snapped. “Last night it tried to document a rectal exam that never happened.”
A few nurses went quiet nearby. Al-Hashimi finally looked at you.
“That’s because you don’t know how to use it correctly.”
You laughed under your breath.
“I know how to chart.”
“You’re resistant to change.”
“And you’re pushing a tool that’s going to get someone sued.”
A few residents exchanged glances. This was escalating. Al-Hashimi crossed her arms.
“You are a senior resident, not the director of clinical innovation.”
“And you’re asking us to trust software over our own charting.”
“Because data shows it improves workflow.”
“It also removes clinical nuance!”
That’s when another voice cut in.
“Alright.”
You froze.
Robby.
He stepped between you and Al-Hashimi, tall and calm like he always was when the department got heated.
“Enough.”
You swallowed. He looked at you first. Your chest tightened. He knew exactly how you felt about the AI tool. You’d ranted about it in his kitchen more than once. But this wasn’t his kitchen.
This was the ER.
And people were watching. Robby turned to the team.
“Dr. Al-Hashimi is leading the pilot on this tool.”
Your stomach dropped.
“Which means,” he continued evenly, “we will follow her protocol during the trial period.”
Your eyes flicked up to his. He didn’t hold your gaze long. Professional. Neutral.
God, it hurt.
Al-Hashimi nodded slightly. “Thank you, Robby.”
You felt heat climb up your neck.
“I didn’t realize questioning patient safety was insubordination.”
Robby’s voice lowered. “That’s enough.”
The room was dead quiet. And you knew what that tone meant. You clenched your jaw and grabbed your chart.
“Fine.”
Then you walked away before anyone could see the embarrassment burning in your face.
******
Two hours later you were stitching a laceration across a man’s forehead. He was unconscious. Which was good. Because you were not in the mood for conversation. Footsteps entered the room.
You didn’t look up. You already knew who it was.
“Hey.”
You kept suturing. Silence stretched. Robby leaned against the counter.
“You want to talk?”
“No.” Your voice was flat.
He exhaled slowly.
“You’re taking this personally.”
Your needle paused. Then continued.
“You humiliated me.”
“That wasn’t the intention.”
You tied the stitch tight.
“Well congratulations. It worked.”
Robby straightened.
“You challenged an attending in the middle of the floor.”
“Because she’s wrong.”
“That’s not the point.”
You finally looked at him. “And that’s exactly the problem.”
He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck.
“Look. Neither of you were wrong.”
You scoffed.
“It’s a preference.”
“Robby,” you said quietly, “you shut me down in front of everyone.”
“I enforced rank.”
“And made me look like an idiot.”
His jaw tightened.
“That wasn’t what happened.”
“It’s what it felt like.”
The words hung between you. He softened a little.
“What can I do to fix it?”
You clipped the suture. Pulled off your gloves.
“Leave me alone.”
His irritation finally showed.
“You’re being stubborn.”
You met his gaze. “You’re being dismissive.”
Another long pause. Then he nodded once.
“Alright.”
And he walked out.
******
Two days. Two days of passing each other in hallways. Two days of clipped conversations during rounds. Two days of sleeping alone.
You missed him. Which was stupid. Because you were still angry. But the silence was worse.
So that morning you bought coffee. Two cups. His usual order. You spotted him across the ER floor reviewing imaging. Your heart thumped a little.
Okay.
Just walk over. Break the ice. You started toward him.
“Robby.” Dr. Al-Hashimi appeared out of nowhere. “We need you for a consult.”
Your steps slowed. Robby looked up And saw you. For half a second his expression softened. Then Al-Hashimi handed him a tablet.
“Trauma team needs input.”
He hesitated. Then duty won.
“Be right back.”
You stood there with two coffees in your hands. Watching them walk away together. Your chest felt tight. You set his coffee on the nurse’s station. And went back to work.
******
The day only got worse. Three traumas. A pediatric seizure. A stroke alert.
By the end of shift you felt like you’d been hit by a truck. You were finishing discharge paperwork when Robby approached.
“Can we talk?”
You barely had time to answer.
“Dr. Robby.”
Al-Hashimi again. She held up your tablet.
“These charts are incomplete.”
Your stomach dropped.
“They’re not—”
“The AI documentation wasn’t verified.”
You felt everyone looking again. You closed your eyes briefly.
“I’ll fix them.”
“You’ll stay late to do it.”
Robby stepped forward. “I’ll stay too.”
You looked at him. And suddenly your eyes burned. You shook your head.
“It’s okay.”
Your voice cracked slightly. Robby noticed and you saw his face contort like he’d been slapped.
“I’ve got it.”
*****
The patient swung at you. You dodged the punch barely.
“Sir—”
“I SAID DON’T TOUCH ME!”
Al-Hashimi stood at the doorway observing.
“De-escalate,” she said calmly.
“I’m trying.”
“You’re escalating his agitation.”
You stared at her.
“I’m literally being swung at.”
“Your tone is defensive.”
The patient lunged again. Security stepped in. Your hands shook. And Al-Hashimi scribbled notes on her tablet.
“Next time consider—”
You snapped.
“Next time maybe you can try managing a combative patient while someone critiques your tone!”
The room went silent. You immediately regretted it. Al-Hashimi’s expression hardened. You walked out before she could respond. Down the hallway. Around the corner.
Until no one could see you.
Your back slid down the wall. And suddenly the tears came. You buried your face in your hands.
God.
You were so tired. Footsteps approached. You didn’t look up.
“Hey.”
Robby’s voice was quiet. He sat beside you on the floor without asking.
“What happened?”
You shook your head.
“I’m just exhausted.” Your voice cracked. “Maybe she’s right.”
He frowned.
“About what?”
“Maybe I’m not cut out for this.”
“That’s bullshit.”
“If doing this means becoming her then fuck this job.”
He gently pulled your hands away from your face. Your cheeks were wet. He wiped them with his thumbs.
“Can I say something?”
You nodded.
“You’re an amazing doctor.”
You sniffed quietly.
“You’re skilled. Patient. Kind. Brilliant.”
You stared at the floor.
“Your patient satisfaction scores are ridiculous.”
You huffed a weak laugh.
“The nurses love you.”
Another tear slid down.
“The med students love you.”
He leaned closer.
“This place would be absolute shit without you.”
You looked at him finally.
“And I’m not saying that just because I fucking miss you and want you back in my bed at night.”
A small, shaky laugh escaped you.
“I’m sorry,” he said softly. “For everything. I should’ve handled that situation differently.”
He hesitated.
“I’ll talk to Al-Hashimi.”
“It won’t matter.”
“It matters to me.”
You studied his face.
“I’m sorry too.” You took a shaky breath. “For how I treated you.”
He raised an eyebrow. “Even if I deserved it a little.”
You smiled faintly. “I miss you.”
His eyes softened.
“And your bed.”
That did it. Robby leaned forward and kissed you. It was the first kiss in four days. It almost made you start crying all over again. Then he pulled you into his arms on the hallway floor. You rested your forehead against his shoulder.
Not sure why I wrote this or what this even is but it just kind of spilled out haha
Robby x nurse!wife!reader
942 words
(2nd pov) Use of she/her pronouns but I don't think I used any physical features
Robby calls reader 'baby' and 'honey'
Content warning- some suicidal ideation
--
--
It was reasonable to be upset.
When your husband, who you thought you had a good and trustworthy relationship with, suddenly decides he’s going to go on a three month hiatus up the Canadian coast and you find out through nurse gossip and when you confront him about it he talks to you like he’s speaking to his boss. Cold. Clinical…
It hurts. Feeling left out. Betrayed. Sad because he’s leaving and clearly didn’t seem to care about your feelings.
It makes you want to feel angry. Why would he do that? But it also makes you feel concerned.
You know he’s been struggling for months and a sudden motorcycle trip screams ‘cry for help’.
“So…” You slide up next to Robby while he’s looking up at the board. He lets out a soft “hm”.
“Are you gonna be back in time for my sisters wedding?” You ask.
After you found out about the trip Jack came to you, equally concerned, that Robby was… not planning on returning from this trip. The thought had sent your stomach to the floor. You felt like throwing up.
“Uh… when is it?” He asks.
“Early October.” You reply simply.
“Yeah. Sure. Most likely.” Robby brushes you off. A soft hand lingers on your shoulder blade as he walks away.
You sigh. Head tipping back. Tamping down frustration.
An hour later you find him again. Ripping off gloves and pushing hand sanitizer on his palm.
“What time are you leaving again?” You tilt your head. Arms crossed behind your back.
“Early. Tomorrow morning.” He nods once.
“… okay-“ you open your mouth to continue but he’s pulled away by an emergency.
You sigh again.
The sun starts to set. The shift finally over. The night shift nurse has taken over and sent you home with a sad and knowing smile. Pity. Something that settled heavy in your stomach. Everyone knew. Of course.
This time Robby finds you. A soft cool summer breeze filtering through your hair. He stands behind you, watching as you look at his bike.
Neither says anything for a while.
Then, “there’s no helmet.” Your voice calm.
He holds it out. Over her shoulder. You nod, taking it. Inspecting the helmet. “Keep it with my backpack, so no one steals it.” He says.
“It’s clean.” You comment.
“What were you expecting? You think I’m dirty?” The way he laughs, or tries to, sounds a little nervous.
“There’s still a fucking tag on it, Michael.” You suddenly turn. The anger and frustration and concern for your husband snaps. You shove it into his chest. Not expecting it Robby stumbles back. “Do you love me?” You ask.
“What kind of a question is that?” He responds. Defensive.
“The one that your wife starts to wonder when her husband when you start doing reckless shit, keeping secrets, and making me the center of everyone’s pity when you don’t come home in three months.” Tears started spilling down your cheeks halfway through.
Robby was frozen silent.
“I love you.. So much.” You tell him. “But I also… I- I also really hate you right now.”
“Baby-“ he tries to take a step towards you but you shake you head.
“I am not… a fuck buddy.”
“I know that-“
“Let me finish.” His hands raise in surrender.
You nod once, continuing, “I am not a fuck buddy. I am your wife. I am not someone you get to keep out of the loop for her to find out major life events through hospital gossip.” Your breathing is heavy. Heart racing.
“We are together. We are a team. If you cannot be a team with me then you should take this back before you go and… and not come back.” Holding up your hand to show off the ring settled on her finger. You’re hiccuping and in full meltdown mode by the time you finish.
Robby approaches like you’re a scared street cat. “Baby,” his voice whispered. Cracked.
You let his hands touch your face. “Baby… I’m sorry.” Hands wrap around you.
“Don’t say it if you don’t really mean it.”
“I do.. Fuck-“ he holds on tighter. “I am so fucking sorry. I love you. So much. I- I’ve been alone so long that I forget I’m not anymore. Which is not a good excuse.” He shakes his head. “And you don’t deserve that.”
His hands cup your cheeks. Wiping tears with his thumbs. “I’m going to be better. You deserve better and I’m going to get there for you.”
“Are you still gonna leave?”
“Yeah I… honey... I have to.” He nods. Leaning in and pressing a kiss to your nose.
“Can I ask some things of you?” You respond. Tilting your head.
He nods.
“You wear the fuck out of this.” Holding up the helmet.
He doesn’t hesitate. “Of course.”
“And… can I visit? At least just once?” You finish.
“Yeah honey. But I- I’ll need to set the date.”
You nod. Smiling. “Okay.” Then bring him in for a kiss.
After pulling away you lift the helmet and stand on your toes to put it on his head. Buckling and adjusting it tightly.
“Perfect.” Biting your lip. “You know… helmets are so sexy.” You nods.
He steps closer. “Yeah?” Leaning in.
But before he can kiss you, you pull back. “Can I ask something else?”
“Sure, baby.” He sighs with a smile.
“I heard you talking to Whitaker earlier… I didn’t know Jack did naked yoga.” You bite back a laugh. “How do you know about that?”
He flushed. Pressing his lips to yours as a distraction.
You pull back. Just slightly. “Can I watch you try that sometime?”
He just pull you back to his mouth.
--
Unedited. Thanks for reading!
I may add to this in the future :)
So... It has been a lot longer than I planned but here it is!
Finally finished.
If you've read part 1 most, if not all, the same content warnings remain the same. But nothing graphic. Just talked about.
If you haven't read it yet:
Part one
~~~
It had been 2 weeks since the incident. Robby noticed the way she had been avoiding talking about what happened. He knew that it was sooner rather than later that she would explode after keeping it bottled up though any time he tried to get her to talk about it she'd shut down...
And it wasn't like Robby was any better at talking about his feelings.
So, instead he did what he did best. Ignoring the issue while supporting her from behind. Letting her take the lead and waiting with bated breath for the inevitable but justified meltdown.
"Come on Robby." The prodding started when he arrived to the Pitt at 7 that morning and by noon Heather and Dana tried and unsuccessful in their subtly to ask him about his girlfriend. "I treated your girl. The least you can give me is like... an occupation? What you have in common? Something? Anything?" Heather follows him as he charts and tries to shake her off his tail.
When she doesn't stop Robby sighs and set the chart down. He had been tight lipped the last 2 weeks. It was easy when he'd also been quiet the six months before since they had started dating.
He wasn’t ashamed to say his girlfriend was a sex worker. It's the questions or jokes at her expense due to him being older and having met her at a strip club that keeps him from saying anything. He's supportive of her career and knows how much she loves it.
Or loved. She hadn't been back since the stabbing.
Robby groaned. "Don't you have patients to check on?" He weakly deflected.
"Nope." Heather shakes her head.
"So..." He starts after a while. "She's a stripper."
"Your face makes me think you thought I was going to joke or judge you for it. Have you met me? I'm not Langdon. If you like her and she enjoys her job I don't see any issues. I am curious on how you met or what you have in common." Heather tilts her head, smiling. Teasing just a little.
It's not that Robby was surprised. He knows Heather and the kind of person she is. He sits on one of the office chairs at the desk. "It was about 6? Months ago. An old college buddy of mine was having his bachelor party at the Eden and she was working... I couldn't look at anyone but her. My buddy bought her for me for the night and we went to my hotel room and just... talked. All night. I haven't had a connection like that in a long time." Heather notices the unconscious smiles and matches it herself.
"She's strong, funny, and smart as hell." He finishes.
"She's cute. Younger.." She replies
Robby huffs a laugh. "Compared to me, everyone's young."
"Well I think she's good for you. You seem... lighter." Heather nods. Her hand lingering on his shoulder before she's called away.
--
After his shift he heads over to her apartment. Knowing she's likely not at the club since she hasn't been back since the incident. Knocking on the door before shoving his hands in his coat pockets.
When the door opens a billow of smoke pours out around her. The fire alarm blaring through her apartment. "Jesus. What happened? Where's the fire?" Robby grabs his girlfriend, pulling her away from the perceived danger.
"It's the oven." She replies. "And there's no fire… anymore." Her face flushing with embarrassment.
Robby reaches the kitchen, seeing black smoking muffins in a pan, soaking wet in the sink. "You were baking?" He asks. A little amused. It's not something he's seen her do before. Or mention any interest in.
"Yeah…" Looking at her feet. She knows she's never been a good baker.. Or cook for that matter.
"What's wrong?" Robby steps towards her, lifting her chin to look at him. "Are you okay?" The amusement her felt leaving as soon as he sees her expression and the way her hand is clutched to her chest.
"I burnt my finger a little…" She mumbles and holds it up for him to see.
Gently he takes her hand, pressing a kiss to the small mark on her finger. "Better?"
He gets a nod. And Robby smiles before kissing her lips. "What were you trying to make?" He asks.
"Blueberry muffins." Is the reply as she leans into him. "I wanted to make something as a thank you to that doctor and the nurse that stitched me up." Her voice soft. Quiet.
Robby hummed thoughtfully. He wraps his arms around her waist. He knew she put up a tough exterior but was really incredibly soft. Especially for the people she cares about. "You know you don't have to do that." His voice in her ear, pressing a kiss to her jaw and up to her ear.
"I know.." Gently she pushes him away before he could go any further.
Robby isn't upset that she doesn't want to be intimate with him but it's been a drastic change since the incident. He can live without sex and he'd never try to pressure her but he knows this is more than her just simply not in the mood.
"Can we go to your place?" She asks. "I want to shower and yours is better… plus it'll smell less like burnt muffins."
For lack of better words to use the apartment Robby's girlfriend lived in was… incredibly shitty. It was under the train and the few times he's slept here rather than her over at his he's woken up more than once to the walls rattling or glasses clinking in the cabinet. The place was literally falling apart but the rent was cheap and she had an odd attachment to it so Robby bit his tongue.
"Yeah. We can go to mine." He nods.
She presses a quick kiss to his lips before replying, "okay. Let me go grab my things." Then she's running off down the hall.
---
It's three days later. 9 in the morning. Robby was only 2 hours into an already incredibly long shift.
A bright pink legged and matching sports bra clad woman bounds into the hospital. Holding a tray of muffins just like she'd attempted to make a few days before.
"Who is that?" Langdon says aloud, not really into anyone in particular. Looking her up and down. Looking like he's about to drool.
Robby glances over his shoulder to the younger doctor. He bites his tongue where a snapped response sits. Trying to keep the jealousy at bay. This was his girlfriend, not that most of the staff knew that of course, but the thought of the other doctors and nurses on the ER ogling at her ticked him off. He mumbles her name over at Langdon without thinking better of it.
"She a patient of yours?" He asks.
"Something like that." Robby mumbles before walking away. Feeling that if he stood there any longer he'd say something stupid.
"Hey." The woman smiles when she spots him. "Look what I made."
They don't look any less burnt than the ones in her sink from the days before. Her face is far too cute and innocent for him to tell her that those are inedible.
"You made muffins." Is all he can think to say in the moment. Trying hard to keep his voice neutral.
"I did." She cheers. "For uhm… what were the names of the ladies that stitched me up?"
Before Robby can reply Langdon saddles up besides them. "I'm Frank." Holding his hand out. "You look familiar." Trying to flirt, "have we met before?"
"When was the last time you watched porn?" Her voice serious. Though a smile cuts through watching the color drain from his face.
"Uhm… I've got patients to chart." Then he's running off.
Robby can't help but chuckle. "You did not just-" He laughs. "He's not going to forget that."
"Yeah, but maybe he'll heal some unresolved trauma or something because I've never done porn." She shrugs.
"I just finished Pilates." Looking down at her attire, as if now realizing what she looked like. "Oh Micheal I'm sorry I didn't think-"
He cuts her off with a kiss. "Don't worry about it. I like it."
"Oh… what were those ladies names?" She holds up the muffin tray.
"Heather was the doctor that stitched you up and Dana is our charge nurse." Robby explains.
"Heather sounds familiar.. You've told me about her. Haven't you?" Is the reply.
Slowly he nods. "Yeah. I've mentioned her."
"She's an ex." Then there's a pause. Robby doesn't answer. "Oh… she's the ex."
"Yeah." He murmurs. Trying to keep cool. "How do you figure that?"
"Same way I know that Frank is married. Separated, but married."
"I forgot how well you read people."
"Comes with the job." She shrugs.
Then there's a, "you're back." It's Heather.
"I am." She gives her a small smile. "I brought you and… Dana muffins." sticking out the tray.
Robby and Heather share a look. Him telling her not to say anything about how they look.
"I just wanted to say thank you for stitching up my arm." Her expression faltering slightly. "And for uh.. Everything else."
"How are you doing? You reported him right?" The doctor asks.
"No. No… that. That’s okay. He's uh- banned from the club." She nods.
"You didn't go to the police?" Heather replies, "It was assault. You should-"
She's quickly cut off. "No. I don't want to." Her voice sharp. With tears in her eyes. "Here-" handing the muffins over before leaving the hospital.
"Has she not talked about what happened?" Heather turns to Robby after she's gone.
He sighs, shaking his head. "She gets defensive and upset… whenever I bring it up."
She nods, understanding. "I know that you are allergic to feelings," Heather lightly chuckling at the roll of his eyes and the way he crosses his arms, "but she's scared. She was assaulted. You mentioned she hasn’t gone back to work? She is a strong woman. You wouldn't be with a woman who wasn't driven or strong. Shit like this happens a hell of a lot more than it should and when it does this strong women are tore down to the shell of themselves and she needs you to be strong enough for the both of you to give her the support to rebuild her confidence to get back out there. Or maybe she'll quit. She needs help. She need to talk about it."
After Heather's encouraging words and her all but forcing him out of the hospital Robby texts, calls, and texts her again with no answer.
The knock on her apartment door goes unanswered.
"Baby." He starts, knowing she's in there. "Just tell me you're okay." His head leaning on the front door.
"I'm fine." Her voice hoarse and emotional. "I just want to be alone right now."
"Can I see you?" His voice soft unsure if she'd even hear him. "I don't have to stay. I just want to see your face."
It's a long time before the door opens and her mascara is smeared. Cheeks are tinted pink. Her lip wobbles before another sob chokes out and Robby quickly pulls her into his chest. Slowly walking them inside and closing the door behind him.
His hands run over her back and through her hair. "You can talk to me. I want to be here for you. I love you. Always. Yeah?"
She looks up, letting him wipe her tears and she nods. "Yeah."
"I just… I feel so… stupid." She starts. Robby stays quiet. Giving her time. "All of this was my fault. I didn't wait when you didn’t pick up the phone. I didn't ask anyone else to walk with me. I froze when he grabbed my arm instead of fighting back and I just… I don’t deserve to feel this scared because it could have been prevented and this was all my fault."
Robby holds her face and turns it up to look at him. Making sure she sees his eyes as he says this. "This was in no way your fault. I will not sit here and let you blame yourself. That disgusting waste of a human being does not deserve to take your confidence and courage. You can be scared and you get to cry but not for him. He wanted to take that from you when he stabbed you." Not stopping even when she winces at his words, at bringing up her injury. "He deserves to feel stupid. Not you. Do you understand me?" Feeling that his firmness is what she needed right now.
"Yeah." She starts to nod. A small wobbly smile crossing her lips. Robby smiles too, pressing a kiss to her lips.
They sit in their comfortable silence for a while. Her head on his chest. His hands running through her hair. "I think I want to go back." Her voice whispers a long time later.
"To the club?" He asks.
"Maybe not to dance. Not yet anyway. My manager said I could do office work. Or host. Just to see everyone. Remind myself I still belong there." She explains.
Robby presses a kiss to her head. "Whatever you want to do. I support you."
It's two weeks later that he gets to her apartment later than he'd planned. The place smelling like vanilla and blueberries.
Finding his girlfriend in the kitchen. "I remade the muffins." She nods to them. They look less black this time. "My neighbor helped, so no one will lose a tooth this time." She giggles, Robby noting how much lighter and happier she's been lately. "Yeah?" Coming closer, wrapping his arms around her from behind.
Before he can say anything else she says, "I talked to a lawyer today." Her voice quiet but serious. "About pressing charges… I don't know yet that I will but it was nice to know that I could."
He nods and holds her a little tighter. A kiss pressed to her head. "I'm proud of you."
~~~
I don't know if I'm totally happy with the ending. It's unedited but I just finished it tonight and wanted to get it out there so maybe someday I'll edit and fix the ending.
Dr. Micheal 'Robby' Robinavitch
Bedazzled - Dr. Robby's carefully private life is exposed when his girlfriend arrives at the ER after a violent attack.
The Festival - In the midst of the tragic mass shooting, ER doctor Robby fights to save lives—unaware that the love of his life is among the wounded.
First Date Second Date Third Date Part 4 - When Robby is pushed to try online dating he's very hesitant. Talking to someone online is entirely different than seeing them up close in person... and he's not even sure he's ready.
Jealousy, Jealousy - Robby’s girlfriend feels jealous when she sees him interacting with his ex
now i had a thought of one of her clients ending up in the er with like a heel in the crotch or something and it’s like her doing because of course once money is involved men think they can do Anything
don’t ask me how robby recognizes him but he just does and has this apathy while treating him because while yes he is a perp unfortunately he too does deserve care
maybe she somehow ends up there to saying how she’d like her heel back idk my heels are v precious to me i spent too much money on them
maybe it ends up as evidence or something in the real world but i’m just a girl what do i know
Summary: When you find yourself in an abusive relationship, you never thought your attending Jack Abbot would become your protector and saving grace.
TW: domestic violence, addiction, alcohol, age gap relationship (reader is in late 20s & Jack is 49), blood, pining, angst, eventual smut. Not beta read.
If this flops I’m not writing part 2. Also if it flops I may cry so lie and tell me it’s good.
Word Count: 1.9k
There was no point in trying to cover the massive bruise on your face, it would only make things more suspicious. You dont exactly remember what make your boyfriend Charlie snap, but before you knew it, you were on the floor of the kitchen, his fist making contact with your face. The air escaped your lungs as you felt a blunt force against your abdomen, your fingers sprawled out on the floor, trying to hold onto anything you could as you gasped for breath. You didnt move from the cold tile for a while, it bringing comfort to your burning flesh.
As you strode into The Pitt the next evening, you did so hesitantly, keeping your head down. It was shift change, Dana was still at the nurses station, glasses perched on the tip of her nose, and Robby was stuck in a trauma. Jack was at the computer, reading over the shift change reports.
"Evening." you said casually, setting your water bottle down on the desk. Dana was the first to glance up.
"Eve- what the fuck?"
Jacks head shot up, and without hesitation he rounded the desk, taking your face into his hands, inspecting the damage.
"What the fuck happened?" you avoided his gaze as he gently cupped your cheeks, brushing his thumb across the black and blue skin.
"I'm fine. I was playing baseball with my nephew, and he has a really good swing." you tried to chuckle through your lie. He studied your face, his jaw clenched and brow serious.
"Did you get an X-ray?"
"I'm fine. Really." you shook your head, but when he delicately pressed his fingers on your nose you jerked your head backwards with a wince.
"Bullshit you're fine, you're next for X-ray." he grabbed your wrist and started leading you towards radiology as you protested.
"I know we have other patients, but you cant treat them with a broken face. If its broken, you're going home."
"No!" you called out too eagerly, almost in a panic. Jack stopped in his tracks with a screeching halt, twisting around to look at you. His demeanor instantly changed, his gaze burned into your flesh as he studied you: your eyes, your shallow breathing, and your posture that seemed to be recoiling with each passing second. His jaw was clenched, but the grip on your wrist began to loosen, and he slowly let go. You looked down as his fingerprints began to fade away.
"I'm ordering a CT" he deadpanned with a quick turn, continuing your walk to X-ray. His pace speeding up over so slightly and you struggled to keep up. The air was heavy; the silence hung high in the air- only the hum of the hospital’s harsh artificial lights filled the uncomfortable void.
"For a broken nose?" you called out, confused.
"Just a precaution."
"We don't order CTs for a broken nose, Jack. I dont ne-"
"Will you just fucking listen for once?" he hissed through clenched teeth as you jerked backwards. Jack was known for his tough exterior, but he wasn't short, not with his patients, and especially not with you. You knew there was a soft side to him, one he rarely showed. You’ve seen him sit bedside with a young girl explaining to process of a medical abortion, you’ve watched him show his prosthetic leg to a terrified little boy with a broken arm, and you’ve watched him talk a fellow vet through a PTSD episode.
He pulled a gown down from the shelf in the waiting room and pressed it firmly against your chest. "Get dressed, when you're all done I'll come get you." Before you could respond he walked away, his fists balled by his sides. You had never seen Jack like this, what happened? It's like a flip switched. His body was tense, his eyes full of anger.
You look at your bruised face in the changing room as you took off your engagement ring and other jewelry. You did your best to cover your bruised body despite the gown being open all the way down the back. The radiology tech was the seasoned Maxine, having worked at PTMC for almost 40 years, and having pet names for everyone at the hospital.
“I’m not sure why he’s making such a fuss over a broke nose. He’s not my dad.” You kept the conversation going as she positioned you on the bed.
“What about your daddy?.” Maxine winked.
“Jesus Christ Maxine!” You blushed.
“I’m just teasing honey, he just cares about you that’s all. Some may say smitten.” the smell of cigarettes emanating from her Snoopy scrubs.
“You said you were gonna quit.” You tried to change the subject as you began to blush even harder.
“They haven’t killed me yet. Besides, talk to me when you’ve been working here as long as I have. How long have you been working here?”
“5 years.”
“See, you’re just a baby, baby.” She patted you shoulder and left the room to start the scan. “Just stay still for me doll and it’ll be done soon.” After CT you hurried to change out of your gown and back into your black scrubs. You were seething with anger and shock by how Jack had spoken to you earlier. You waltzed back down to the ER despite his orders and looked up at the patient board. 10 more in the waiting room since you went down to radiology? What the fuck?
“When you’re all done I’ll come and get you…” you began speaking to yourself in a mocking tone as your scanned your badge to pick up a new case, “who the fuck does he think he’s talking to?”
“What are you doing?” You spun to find Jack barreling toward the nurses station from curtain 3. “I told you I’d come get you when the CT was over.”
“And I’m not a child Jack. I’m a big girl, I can walk myself back to work. I don’t need you to hold my hand the whole way in case I get lost. Now if you’ll excusing me, I have a vomiting toddler in 12.” You tried to push past but he stepped in front of you, blocking your direction.
“Not until I see your scan results.” You were livid at how infantilizing he was being at the moment. You always thought he viewed you at incredibly capable. You searched his eyes, looking for at least something that would explain this sudden strange behavior. What did he know? What did he suspect?
“Step aside Dr. Abbot.” You squared up to him. Arms resting on your hips. He took a step forward, his chest almost pressed up against yours. You could feel the heat emanating from his body and your breath hitched in your throat.
“Uh Abbot,” Nurse Lena uncomfortably walked into whatever the hell this was. “CT and X-ray results are back.”
Jack backed up slowly, not taking his eye off you as he opened the files on his computer. He began to read, his hands resting on the desk in front of him.
“Why don’t we go over these somewhere a little bit quieter.” He asked, faking a smile and trying to find a private room. You followed in suit.
“You don’t have to take me aside to tell me I have a broken nose, Dr. Abbot.” You were almost 2 hours into your shift and hadn’t touched a patient yet. This was ridiculous.
“You’re right,” he answered back, closing the curtain behind you as you both ducked into Room 7. “I’d like you to tell me where these rib fractures came from”. He didn’t looked at you, just typed away at the computer pulling up your CT results.
“What are you talking about, Jack?” Your mouth instantly began to water as you were hit a wave of nausea. He turned the computer to face you, pulling up your imaging.
“Non displaced rib fracture of the left T6 and hairline fracture of your T7.” He pointed to each rib on the screen, as if it weren’t clear as day to you as well. Your hands tangled in your lap as you tried to come up with some sort of explanation. “Or did your nephew do that too?” Your eyes shot up at his sarcastic remark. Jack regretted those words the second they left his lips. Looking down at his shoes, he inched his way towards the edge of the bed where you were sitting, hands in his scrub pockets.
“I’m sorry.” He muttered, putting his hand on your shoulder, giving it a squeeze. You winced slightly as he hit a particularly tender spot and his face fell. "Whats wrong with your shoulder?"
"I'm fine." you just shook your head, fiddling with your engagement ring like you were unintentionally trying to tell him something. He took a seat next to you, looking down at the floor.
"How long has he been hurting you." he finally asked, nervously rubbing the scruff on his face, trying to calm the pit in his stomach. You shook your head again and stood, turning towards the door. He grabbed your hand, stopping you from leaving, unknowingly tracing his thumb back and forth on the back of your hand. Avoiding his gaze, you struggled to hold back the tears that were burning your eyes. You felt a gentle tug on your arm, Jack pulling you closer to him, grabbing on to your other free hand.
There was so much you wanted to say, so much you wanted to tell him. About all the nights you spent locked in the bathroom, hiding from your fiancés hurling words and fists. About the bruises that covered your body. About the control. The isolation. The terror.
"I dont know." was all you could muster, however. You felt his body stiffen, his grip tighten on your wrists. A sob caught in your chest, the lump growing larger and larger in your throat. You couldn’t look up, you couldn’t face him, though you felt his hazel eyes burning into your flesh. Before you either of you could speak again, you were saved by a trauma.
It wasn’t until hours later, as the Pittsburgh sun because to poke out from under the horizon, did you hear the door creak and the sound of his uneven gate coming up behind you. Without a word, he handed you your usual, a cup of vanilla chai tea. The both of you would meet up here on occasion, after a particularly tough shift, just to talk. It was a chilly morning, the tip of your nose rosy as another cold Pittsburgh fall and winter began to creep in. You caught chill as the wind whipped through the buildings beside you. As you shivered, Jack instinctively stepped towards you, letting his radiating body head warm yours.
“It wasn’t always this bad,” you finally admitted. “The first time he hit me… he said he’d never do it again. I was stupid enough to believe him. But then his drinking got worse and, you get the rest of the story.” You motion to your face, the cold air stinging your eyes. He stared at you without a word, you could tell he was thinking. You saw the gears moving in his head. Jack Abbot, thinking? That was never good sign.
“You drive or take The T?” He asked, pushing off the railing.
“The T…?” You were confused as he started walking toward the door, motioning you to follow suit.
“Grab your stuff, I’ll take you home.”
“Jack, that’s kind of you, but if Charlie saw some strange man dropping me o-“
“I know,” Jack cut you off, “I’m taking you to my place.”
dr. robby x f!fiance!reader
content: 18+ mdni, canon medical incidents (mci), shooting, mental health discussions, suicidal ideation
words: 9.8k
synopsis: takes place over the course of episodes 12-15. reader is a clinical psychologist who used to work in the hospital, but no longer does and is engaged to robby. robby calls reader to let her know about the shooting and asks that she not come... and guess what our reader does (: (as this is following alongside the events of episodes 12 through 15, please note that i borrowed some dialogue directly from the episodes.)
a/n: hiiii besties!!! this fic is proof that democracy works 🤪 thank you for voting in my poll! the family trauma fic is soon to follow (hopefully). i listened to renegade by big red machine a lot while writing this, which to me may be the most robby coded song of all time. but yeah that's where the title comes from, if you were interested. thank you guys so much for all the love you've shown my writing the last month, i think it's time to get a masterlist up. love you, enjoy your weekend, and as always feel free to blow my inbox up.
It was almost 6PM when you were on your drive home from work that day. You thought about calling your fiancé, Michael, but figured he’d be off shift in an hour anyway. You were trying, and failing, not to be overbearing.
When he told you he intended to go to work today, you had feigned indifference, but he knew you and he heard the worry in your voice.
“Please don’t psychoanalyze me.” He said as he kissed you goodbye.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” You said, “You said you’re good to work today so you’re good to work today. Just, um, maybe we could check in around lunch—?”
“Stop.” He said, sighing, “We talked about this.”
“Yeah, okay.” You said quickly, anxious to get him out of the house so you could fret in peace, “I’ll see you later.”
Once he was gone, you got yourself ready for work and did your best not to think about it too much. Him working on the anniversary of Adamson’s death. You were, after all, a clinical psychologist and so it had been… difficult to turn off your clinical instincts when Robby had been suffering so obviously the last few years.
You had suggested a referral to many a colleague, which he politely refused each time. Insisting he was fine while day after day you watched him slip further and further into an abyss.
You had gone so far as to text Kiara, the hospital social worker, about your concerns a few months ago. Robby had been livid about that. Barely spoke to you for days after.
Your fingers itched to call her on your way into work, but you really didn’t want to start off the weekend fighting with Robby.
So you stayed away. You didn’t text or call to check in during the day. However, when Jake had texted you earlier today asking if you wanted to stop by the ER with him around lunch, you nearly gave in.
Sorry, kid, too wrapped up with work today. But make sure you give him a hug for me!
You locked your phone and put it down after that, but then a minute later couldn’t stop yourself from sending an extra text:
Also couldn’t hurt to ask him how he is.
After it was sent you rested your head on your arms and sighed.
The rest of the day passed without incident. Jake had texted you that he seemed busy, but overall fine. You knew though that Jake’s perception of fine did not match yours. Besides which, Robby would have put on a show for him, a happy face. He’d never let Jake see the crushing grief that was just behind his eyes, if only you knew where to find it. You didn’t hear anything else for the rest of the day.
So when there was still an hour of Robby’s shift left and a picture of the two of you lit up your screen to indicate an incoming call, your heart rate picked up.
“Hello?”
“Hey, honey, I just wanted to let you know I’ll be home late tonight. I’m not sure how late yet.”
“Oh.” You waited for him to provide more information, but he didn’t. “Is everything okay?”
He sighed, “I don’t know. There’s an active shooter at Pitt Fest.”
“Oh, God—“ Your breath caught when you remembered your conversation with Jake earlier, “Jake’s there—“
“Yeah, do you think you could try getting in touch with him? I’ve tried calling, but it won’t go through.”
“Yeah, yeah of course.”
“And if you don’t mind, maybe call Janey too?”
“Yes. Whatever you need.” He was quiet on the other line for a moment. You badly wanted to ask him if he was okay, but knew the answer and also knew it would only piss him off, so you waited in the silence.
“Please don’t come here,” He said finally, “I know you think you can help—“
“I can help,” You said quickly, “Kiara’s going to be slammed, I’ve worked in the hospital before, I can—“
“You don’t want to be here for this.” He said firmly. You heard someone call his name in the background, “I have to go. You’ll let me know if you hear from Jake?”
“Yeah, of course. I love—“ The line went dead before you could finish your sentence.
That was fine. Your brain was entering crisis mode anyway. You dialed Jake as you drove, about three times with no luck. Trying to keep your own anxiety in check, you called Janey and let her know what was going on and to call you or Robby if she heard from Jake.
Robby didn’t want you at the hospital, you knew that, but there was simply no way in hell you were just going to go home and twiddle your thumbs while you waited to hear from him or Jake. You were sure he knew that, too.
So, after thinking it over for a minute, you made a U turn and dialed Kiara.
As you were walking in to the ER, you ran into Jack Abbot and exhaled a sigh of relief.
“Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” He teased, throwing an arm over your shoulders.
“Oh, thank God you’re here too.”
“What are you doing here? You’re back at the hospital?”
“No, no, I just thought Kiara could use a hand tonight.”
He hummed, “Which roughly translates to you wanted to keep an eye on Robby.”
You feigned outrage, “Come on, Jack, I thought you’d be on my side about this.”
“I am on your side,” He laughed as you walked through the waiting room, “Why do you think I’m here?”
The two of you walked into Robby giving a pep talk to the ER staff. His face betrayed nothing when he saw the two of you, but just from looking at him it was immensely clear to you that the day had weighed on him. And now he still had miles to go.
“Brother, am I glad to see you.” He said to Abbot, pulling him into a hug.
“You,” He said, turning to you, “I specifically asked you not to come here.”
“Kiara asked me to come, and besides,” You lowered your voice, “You’re not the boss of me.”
He sighed and ran a hand over his face, “Have you heard from Jake?”
“No, I’m still trying. So is Janey.”
He nodded and then without preamble pulled you into his chest, “Thank you for coming.”
You exhaled in relief and tightened your arms around his waist, “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.” You murmured, “I have to go find Kiara.”
He nodded and stepped away from you, immediately shifting back into leader mode. While you slipped away, you stopped at Dana’s side, gaping at her black eye.
“Oh my God, what the fuck happened to you?” You asked, hands coming up to her face.
“Oh, please, don’t start. I don’t have time.” She pulled you into a tight hug, “Glad you’re here though, regardless of what sad boy over there says, we could use all the help we can get.”
You smirked, “Sad boy?”
She waved you off, “Gen Z lingo, ask one of the med students.”
“Hey,” You grabbed her arm as she started to run off, “You’ll come get me if he seems… sadder than usual?”
She smiled, “Yeah, you got it.”
And then she was off and you disappeared into the chaos to find Kiara.
***
You had lost count of how many times you’d called Jake. You had talked to several family members, mostly just to ask them to be patient and be sure to upload any information about their missing family members.
But you had also had to inform a woman that her husband was dead. You had done this before, the hard thing, giving someone the worst news of their lives. It was a difficult balance to be empathetic enough that you didn’t come off cold and distant, but not so empathetic that you let it destroy you.
You still hadn’t mastered it. And the fact that no one could get in touch with Jake only made it worse. As soon as you could, you excused yourself to call him again.
It rang and rang and rang and when you reached his voicemail, you hung up, hands shaking.
It felt like hours before your phone went off with a text from Dana.
Jake’s here. He’s ok. Come find me.
The relief hit you so hard you felt yourself tearing up. Taking deep breaths, you headed back into the ER, looking for Dana.
You hadn’t been back here since everything started and the sight of all the patients, the blood on the floor, nearly made you sick. You stood there, frozen in place, listening to the crying and medical jargon being shouted and wondered, not for the first time, how the fuck Robby did this all day long. You knew from experience it wasn’t normally like this, but after only a couple of hours in the ER, you had always been anxious to leave it. You never understood how anyone could do a full 12 hour shift here.
“Good, there you are.” Dana said, coming to your side, “Jake’s good, he was shot in the leg, but they’ve stopped the bleeding he’s stable.”
“Oh, thank God. Has anyone called Janey?”
Dana nodded, “She’s on her way here. But, Leah, Jake’s girlfriend,” Dana sighed and shook her head, “It’s not good. Robby’s working on her.”
You nodded, “Okay, well, that’s encouraging. Robby’s the best chance she has.”
Dana nodded, “Yeah, I’m more so worried that she was a lost cause when she got in here and Robby’s been working on her for… Well, longer than he should be in a mass casualty. Anyone else and he would’ve called it minutes ago.”
You saw where she was going with this. Leah was dead. But Robby would kill himself to bring Leah back, to not have to tell Jake he couldn’t save her. And all of this was happening on the day Adamson had died.
“Also,” Dana added, “I don’t know the details, but him and Langdon had a falling out today. He sent the kid home.”
You frowned, “What d’you mean, Langdon’s right there?” You pointed behind her to Langdon who was working on a patient.
“Oh, you’ve gotta be shitting me.” She sighed, “Okay, well, don’t tell Robby you saw him. He’s gonna lose his shit when he sees him.”
You sighed and brought your hands together, “Okay. I’m going to go talk to Jake and then I’m gonna see what I can do about… Leah.”
“Thank you,” Dana said, “You’re an angel.”
“Don’t get your hopes up, it’s a long shot he’ll listen to me.”
“Have a little faith, yeah?” And then Dana disappeared.
Closing your eyes, you breathed slowly a few times, psyching yourself up to go find Jake, and then you forced yourself to move.
You found Jake alone, on a gurney in the hallway, phone in hand and tears still wet on his cheeks.
“Oh, Jake, baby,” He looked up at the sound of your voice and his arms opened to you immediately. You wrapped him up, holding him as tightly as you could.
“Leah was shot,” He cried.
“I know, I know, I heard.”
“Robby’s with her, do you know how she is?”
You shook your head, “I just got in here, but I’ll let you know if I hear anything.”
“Could you stay with me? Just until my mom gets here?”
Oh, your heart was shattering in your chest with every second that passed. You closed your eyes for a second, “I have to go handle something, but I promise I will be right back, okay?”
He nodded, “Yeah, okay. And you’ll see about Leah?”
“Yeah, of course.” You squeezed his hand and kissed the top of his head and then you were moving again.
The level of carnage was absolutely stunning and in your head you had to keep repeating to yourself over and over Find Robby. Find Robby. Find Robby. In order to keep your head on straight.
And then you saw him, in front of the hub, perched on top of the gurney like a man tied to the pyre at the center of town. You wondered idly how long he had been performing compressions. Nurses surrounding the gurney, carrying out orders as he spewed them out. All of them had the same look on their face, like they were placating a child who could not quite seem to grasp that their dog had died.
“Fuck.” You muttered.
“Good, you’re here. Maybe he’ll listen to you.” Abbot appeared behind you.
“I don’t know that he will,” You swallowed, “He’s been pushing me away for weeks.” The intensity of the situation they were in, of seeing Jake, and now his girlfriend, dead beneath Robby’s hands brought tears to your eyes.
“You have to try.” Abbot said quietly, and then he buried himself back into the fray.
You blinked the tears away rapidly and then tentatively stepped towards the gurney. You looked down at Leah’s body, all the tubes coming out of her, the gaping wound in her chest, “Robby.” You said softly and looked up.
His eyes flicked to yours quickly, then back to Leah, “It’s Jake’s girlfriend.”
“I know.” He continued compressions and gave more orders out to the nurses that you didn’t quite understand, “How long has she been down?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know. I thought—I thought we had a pulse for a second.”
You nodded, “But her heart stopped a long time ago, didn’t it?”
His eyes flicked up to yours again and you saw the layers of pain there that had been ripped up, likely all day long. All culminating in this girl, this one girl he couldn’t save. That he would have never been able to save, even on a good day. And despite all the people he had already helped save today and the dozens he would save after, he would never let go of Leah.
He looked back down at Leah, “It’s Jake’s… She’s Jake’s…”
“I know, baby,” You said softly, “Have you tried everything?”
“We gave her so much blood… We transfused some of her own blood… But the bullet it… It tore through her heart…”
“That sounds like you did everything you could,” You said gently, and you felt your own tears aching at the back of your throat, “It sounds like you gave Leah the best chance you possibly could have. If this didn’t work then nothing would have.” He’s still doing compressions, grimacing as he does, “Why don’t we check her pulse one more time, okay?”
He looks up at you again, your eyes pleading for him to climb off the gurney, his eyes pleading with you not to make him give up on Leah. You lift a hand up to him, a silent offering: You don’t have to do it alone.
He looked back down at Leah for another moment and you saw him fighting with himself. And then he reached for you. His gloved, blood soaked hand wrapped around yours tightly and the weight on your chest lessened marginally.
“Sophie, could you take over compressions for a moment? Dana, do you have the doppler?”
“Yeah.”
“Has it been tested?”
“No.”
Robby let go of your hand and took the doppler from Dana, quickly checking it on his own wrist. “Ok, it’s working.” He said when the sound of his own pulse echoed. “Hold compressions.”
You held your breath when he held the doppler to Leah’s neck. The silence was deafening and you bit the inside of your cheek so hard you tasted blood. But you kept watching Robby, never looking away from him.
“Ok.” He said finally, and you heard the tears in his throat, “That’s it, we’re done.”
He put the doppler away and wrote the time of death on her wrist chart and pulled the blanket up and over her head. You reached out for his hand again, fully expecting him to push you away, but he took it, holding it like a lifeline.
“I can tell Jake.” You said softly.
“No,” He said, shaking his head, “It’s okay, I’ll do it.”
“Robby—“
He squeezed your hand once before dropping it, turning his attention elsewhere, “You should wash your hands.”
You looked down at your hands, and sure enough, they were covered in Leah’s blood from where Robby had held them.
“Thank you,” Dana said, coming up behind you, “I wasn’t sure he was ever going to stop.”
You inhale shakily, “Don’t thank me yet. He still has to tell Jake.”
You excuse yourself before she can reply, heading straight for the bathroom. The crying starts before you’ve even fully closed the door, and then when you see the bloody footprints and the blood in the sink, you only cry harder.
You thought about Jake, about how he had told you about Leah just a couple weeks ago. The two of you giggling while he showed you pictures of her, told you about the music she loved and the TV she watched. Now you're washing her blood down the sink.
You watch the pink water and suds flow from your hands down the drain and wait for your breathing to level.
After drying off your hands, you sniffle, and then steeling yourself you walk back into the ER— And straight into Kiara.
“Hey, I was looking for you. We got a couple more positive IDs in the morgue and the families are here.” She looks at you more closely, noting your red eyes and wet cheeks, “Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I just… Jake’s girlfriend just died, so.” You cleared your throat, “But I’m good, I’m ready.”
She gave you a knowing look, “You’re sure?”
You shrugged and looked around, “You can’t fully process an event like this until it’s over. The only way out is through and all that. So I’m good.”
Jake was waiting for you, you remembered, but you couldn’t face him right now. Couldn’t lie to him when you had watched Robby pull that blanket up over Leah’s head.
“Alright.” Kiara said, and the two of you began walking back to the cafeteria.
***
After helping Kiara with two family notifications, you excused yourself back to the ER, wanting to check on Robby and Jake.
Walking back into the chaos was just as upsetting the second time. You clenched your fists as you walked through, looking for Robby or Dana or Abbot. The first person your eyes found was Abbot, monitoring a patient and talking a resident through a procedure.
“Hey,” You said, walking up to him, “Have you seen Robby?”
He looked up from his patient and looked around, “Hey Dana?” He shouted, “You seen Robby?”
“No,” She called back, “I was just about to ask you the same.”
“Shit,” You murmured and started walking again.
“Y/N?” Dana called.
“Yeah, I’m on it.” You called as you passed her.
You opened every room, asked every doctor and nurse you passed, but no one had seen him.
Finally, you overheard someone mention that they were using the Peds room as a makeshift morgue and it clicked.
Robby didn’t talk to you much about the pandemic or about Adamson afterwards, but when he had been in it. When he came home on this day four years ago, he had been so distraught, so desperate, he had tried at first to talk about it. And you remembered how he explained to you that they put Adamson in Peds for lack of space. It had really stuck with him, for some reason, that Adamson had died in Peds.
If now the morgue was in Peds. And Leah was in the morgue. And Robby was the one who took her there. Well, it didn’t take a genius to figure out why no one could find Robby.
You walked quickly, occasionally stopping to ask for directions or to see if anyone had seen Robby. Langdon was the most helpful, saying he saw Robby go in the morgue with Jake and then Jake came out, but not Robby.
“Hey, what’s going on with the two of you today?” You asked.
“Me and Robby?” He looked around as if to see if anyone else was listening, “Why, what have you heard? Did he say something to you?”
You raised your eyebrows, “No, but Dana said he sent you home hours ago.”
He ran a hand through his hair, “It was a misunderstanding.”
You nod and then shrug, “Okay.”
“Are you analyzing me or something?”
You give a short laugh and then start backing away from him, “Are you paying me? I don’t analyze for free, Frank. I’m very expensive.”
You were hoping to get more from Langdon on what was going on. It was becoming more and more apparent that a lot of shit had happened today during Robby’s shift even before the shooting.
But, you didn’t have time for that, you supposed. You’d have to go in blind, trust your instincts, hope to God you don’t say the wrong thing to push him away.
And when you walk into Peds, you realize just how in over your head you are.
Robby’s on the ground, Star of David necklace clutched in his hand, eyes closed tight as he shakily murmured to himself in Hebrew.
You had never seen him pray before. He had struggled with his faith after the passing of his grandmother and ever since working in the ER. As long as you’d known him, his relationship with God had been tenuous or nonexistent.
So if he was praying right now, well, that scared the shit out of you.
You lowered yourself to the ground in front of him, not touching him or saying anything, just wanting him to know you were there.
After a few moments of you sitting in front of him, his breathing just starting to level and the tears slowing, you tried to find the right thing to say. Nothing you said, you knew, would fully be able to help him process whatever this was. Whatever had happened in here with him and Jake. That was for another time.
It went against everything you were taught as a clinician to push Robby back into the work when that was the reason he was on this floor, wrecked beyond recognition. But people were dying out there. And more would die if you couldn’t manage to pull him out of the riptide.
“I heard one of your interns just did a REBOA without supervision.” His eyes darted to yours at that, “I don’t know what that means, but everyone seems pretty pissed about it.”
“What is this?” He asked, voice gravelly.
“What?”
“You’re not going to ask if I’m okay or ask me how it makes me feel that Leah’s dead and Jake blames me?”
Ah. Well, that certainly explained the situation they were in. The straw that broke the camel’s back was Jake. The closest thing he had to a son, rejecting him in his lowest moment and reaffirming every untrue belief he held about himself.
You shook your head, “I think it’s pretty clear you’re not fucking okay. None of us are okay right now.” You glanced over your shoulder through the glass door, “I could give you the heartfelt pep talk if you want, about how I know you’re the best doctor in this whole damn hospital and how I know if you couldn’t save Leah no one could and how I know Jake loves you even if he’s angry and hurting. But I don’t think you’re in the space to receive that right now.”
His breathing was shaky and he fiddled with his necklace, not looking at you anymore. You weren’t sure if you were blowing it or not, but this was the best you could do right now without falling apart yourself.
“What I think you need to hear right now is that people are still dying out there. People who are loved, who have families, just like Leah did. And they need you.”
He shook his head, sobbing, “I can’t.”
Your eyes watered and you swiped a tear from your cheek hurriedly, frustrated at yourself for crying, “I know that’s how it feels. But I also know you’ll never forgive yourself if you leave your department out there to fend for themselves all night while you sit in here.” You sniffed, “And I’m really gonna need you to forgive yourself for this someday, Michael.”
At that, he did look up at you. The unspoken words in what you were saying. You loved this man with every beat of your heart. But you weren’t sure how much longer it could go on like this. You, desperately trying to throw him a life vest and him actively swimming further away from you.
He needed to want to get better and you weren’t sure how to make him want it, to see that this was unsustainable and destroying him. And he was pulling you down with him.
Eyes glittering with tears, you rose to your feet and reached a hand out to him for the second time that day.
He looked back down at the floor for a moment and your heart sank, but then you felt the brush of his fingers on your palm. You swallowed down a sob that threatened to choke you and gripped his hand, helping him off the floor.
Once he was at his full height, you brought your hands to either side of his face and gently pulled him to you, pressing kisses to his cheeks and forehead before resting your head to his.
His breathing wavered only slightly as he rested his own hands at the base of your neck.
“Okay?” You asked tentatively after you’d both been standing there like that for a few moments.
He swallowed and nodded, “Yeah.”
As you stepped away from him, your hand trailed down his arm until you were just holding his hand. You squeezed once and he squeezed back. You dropped his hand as you turned for the door and you felt his hand at the small of your back as the two of you left Peds.
Things seemed to be beginning to slow down now. You watched from a distance as Robby breezed by you, pulled off his bloody robe and encouraged his residents. As if nothing had happened, as if he hadn’t been destroyed just moments ago. It was astounding to you, the way he could so quickly shift gears.
But then, as he was putting on a new robe, Gloria appeared. You stepped closer to the hub and watched the exchange anxiously. You almost turned and walked away as things seemed to be going okay, but then the conversation shifted to discussions of unscreened blood donors and a shooter with a hit list and then Robby exploded.
“Jesus Gloria!”
You were shoulder to shoulder with Abbot when he lost it and your breath caught, “Your turn.” You murmured to Jack and backed yourself into a chair next to Dana at the hub.
“Hey, get some air, brother.” Abbot said as soon as Robby was close enough, “Go check on triage.”
When he disappeared out the ambulance bay doors, you rested your head in your hands.
“Should we be worried about him?” Abbot asked as he walked around the hub.
“Yes,” You said, “Everyone should be very, very worried about him.”
“Awesome,” Jack sighed and went back to see more patients.
You kept an eye on the ambulance bay, tears still constantly threatened to spill over. You wanted to go home, but not if Robby didn’t come with you.
“It’s slowing down, right?” You asked Dana, eyes shining as she turned to you.
She gave you a sad smile and squeezed your shoulder, “Yeah, kid. It’ll be over soon.”
***
You had sat with Jake after that until Janey came. You had squished yourself into his non-injured side and rested your head on top of his.
“You know Robby would’ve traded his life for Leah’s in a second if he could have. He would’ve done anything to not see you hurt like this.” You said gently.
Jake had sat there quietly so you had decided not to push. The two of you sat in silence for a while.
You watched Robby whenever he passed by and almost without fail, his eyes fell to Jake whenever he passed. You had heard there was a measles case in the ER. Not contagious, but it was something Robby had said to you months ago he feared the most. That this anti vaccination trend was going to boil over and sooner or later, diseases like the measles that had largely been eradicated, would return. You couldn’t believe this was happening today of all days.
When Janey got to Jake, you reluctantly left him.
“Oh, please, don’t leave on my account,” Janey said smiling, “I really appreciate you staying with him.”
“Please, it’s my pleasure,” You squeezed Jake’s hand again before climbing off his gurney, “But I really have to go find Robby and see if I can drag him home. He might collapse soon if he doesn’t get out of here.” You turned back to Jake, “You’ll text me if you need anything, right? I mean anything.”
He shrugged, “Sure, whatever.”
You knew he was acting this way probably because he saw you as an extension of Robby. And it sucked. You loved Jake. Had loved him for years now, since he was just a little kid. It would pass, you told yourself. It had to.
“Janey,” You pulled her off a little away from Jake, “This is not unsolicited advice, just an offer from a friend: I would be happy to refer him to a colleague if at any point you think he needs to talk to someone.”
Janey gave you a watery smile, “Thank you.”
“You have my number?” She nods, “Okay. Well, please, if either of you need anything, Robby and I are just a call away.”
Janey nodded, “And also not unsolicited advice, just the observation of a friend, but I’m worried about Robby. You’ll make sure he’s alright, right?”
You looked down at your hands, at the ring on your finger, then looked back up at Janey, “Right now I can’t see past the next hour or so, but I am trying my damnedest to keep him above water.”
Janey nodded and squeezed your hand before you headed back towards the hub. As you were heading there, though, you thought you heard Robby’s voice yelling coming from the elevators.
You locked eyes with Dana, and frowning, slowly turned towards the direction of the yelling. You walked down a hallway to find Robby in a heated discussion with Dr. Shen, but when his eyes landed on you he disengaged.
“While I am glad that you are… functioning again,” You said quietly, “If you keep screaming at people, I’m gonna need to forcibly bring you home.”
He had a hand on your shoulder as he steered you through the ER, “You should go home,” He said, “Nothing else for you to do here, Kiara doesn’t need you anymore, I’ll be home in a couple of hours.”
“No,” You said immediately, “No, I’m sorry, I’m not leaving here without you. If you want me to leave, you’ll have to come with me.”
He sighed, “I wish you wouldn’t make this so difficult.”
You bit your lip to stop it from wobbling, “And I wish you’d stop pushing me away.”
He stares at you for a few moments, opening his mouth as if to argue when there’s a commotion at the hub that has you both turning.
“Is that… Is McKay…?” You start, but Robby’s already walking. You follow, but keep your distance, listening as he puts the cops in their place.
The pride flared in your chest, as it always does. This is the man you fell in love with, the one who stood up for what he believed in, for his students and staff, regardless of the cost.
When it’s done and they let McKay go, Gloria is back. You watch with some tension as Robby reports the status of all the mass casualty patients. But there’s no further incident and Robby walks past you on his way to another patient, “Go home.” He whispers as he walks by.
You tried not to let it hurt, how he seemed to be desperate for you to go away. But after the way the last few hours had unfolded, it was getting difficult. You parked yourself at the hub, trying to contain your sniffling as you again looked at the ring on your finger.
He was having an astronomically hard day, you knew. But had the two of you not made a great team? Weren’t you the only one who could get through to him when everything around him seemed to be crumbling?
“Hey, kid,” Dana said softly and pushed a cup of coffee your way, “You doing okay?”
You tried to smile, but nearly broke, “Fine, I’ll be fine. And you?”
She gave a short laugh, “I’ve seen better days.”
You sipped the coffee Dana had given you, “I hear that.”
***
You tried not to seem too eager the next time you saw Robby at the hub. He tells Dana that he’s stepping outside with a sandwich and a juice box, and then you feel his shadow above you, and look up, “Dana says you look like you’re experiencing an existential crisis.”
You nod, “Probably a normal reaction to what we’ve all experienced here tonight. Unlike some people in this place I don’t see experiencing the normal range of human emotions as a character flaw.”
He nodded slowly, “Is there anything I can say to get you out of here?”
You almost laughed, “Can I ask you a question? Is the insistence on getting me out of here out of concern for my emotional well being or is it just because you know I’m the only person here who can truly help you and you don’t think you deserve help?”
“And if it’s both?” He locked his red rimmed eyes with yours and gave you a sad smile.
A rare bit of honesty and it floored you. You reached for his hand, “Robby—“
“I need some air and to eat,” He said backing away, “We’ll leave soon, I promise.”
You watched him disappear into the ambulance bay, having to physically restrain yourself from following. But then, you watched Langdon follow after him.
“Oh, no.” You sighed. You debated with yourself for about thirty seconds whether or not to follow, “Fuck it.” You muttered to yourself and then followed them outside.
“—I was never high, I was just treating my own withdrawal symptoms—“
“Which you should’ve done under the care and supervision of a physician.”
Oh, fuck. You stopped walking just past the ambulance bay doors, unsure if maybe you should go back inside.
“You could’ve come to me, but instead now you could face felony charges for stealing controlled substances from a hospital.”
Holy shit. You had thought the whole thing with Langdon earlier today must’ve been related to patient care or maybe the new residents or med students. But this was much, much more than a disagreement about care or teaching methods.
“You need help.”
“What about you, man? I’m not the only one fucked up here! Look in the mirror!”
You squeezed your eyes shut. Perhaps you should go back inside. This was only going to get worse.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” You heard the edge in Robby’s voice. The frustration, the exhaustion, the disappointment. He was practically begging Frank to say the quiet part out loud so he’d have an excuse to explode.
“I never had a complete meltdown.”
“No, you just cause them in other people.”
This was past the point of being a productive conversation, but you knew if you intervened you’d probably just make it worse.
“You’re blaming me for what happened to you?”
“What happened to me? What happened to me?! Oh, you are so full of shit. You let me down! You let everybody down! Especially yourself.”
Robby turned to walk back inside and you started to as well, but then Frank spoke again.
“Somebody saw you in Peds.”
Robby stopped cold. You couldn’t watch this anymore. You moved to go grab Robby, wanting to drag him inside, but he was already walking back to Frank, “Who? Y/N?”
You looked down at your shoes and tried not to feel betrayal. That he thought you would tell anyone about how you had found him, in his most vulnerable state.
“No, a night shift nurse saw you on the floor. Said it looked like—“
“Looked like what? LOOKED LIKE WHAT?!” You flinched and blew out a slow breath between your lips. “This job will fuck you up if you let it. You let it.”
Robby started walking again, still not having seen you.
“Yeah, I wasn’t the one talking to cartoon animals in Peds.”
“FUCK. YOU.” Robby shouted as he kept walking back towards the ER.
When he laid eyes on you, he almost stopped in his tracks. He shook his head and sighed, walking past you, “This is exactly why you shouldn’t be here.” He said as you followed him inside, “You shouldn't have heard that.”
“He is desperate,” You said quickly, a long shot attempt at damage control, “And experiencing withdrawal, I know you know what that does to people. He didn’t mean any of that.”
“You doing okay, man?” Abbot asked as the two of you approached the hub.
“Why do you keep asking me that?”
“Oh, I don’t know, you did take the parent of a patient into our makeshift morgue, never mind that it’s technically a fucking crime scene. That’s just not cool, man.”
Robby didn’t deny this, and you slowly turned to him, horror clear on your face, “Okay, you are done with patients today. Do you hear me?” He wouldn’t look at you, pretending to be very focused the chart in front of him, “Robby.” You said sharply.
Finally he looked up at you. “I know,” He said softly, “You’re right. I’m done.”
Just then Gloria came down, talking about getting Robby and Abbot in front of a press conference. It was absolutely inconceivable to you that after what had happened here today Gloria had the fucking audacity to ask for more from her doctors, but Robby must’ve sensed you were about to tell her as much because he gently put an arm in front of you and pushed you behind him.
“Trust me, Gloria, you don’t want me speaking to the press right now.”
“Or ever.” Abbot added.
After Gloria’s little speech about ER cowboy nonsense, Ellis shouted some sort of medical jargon about a patient that had both Robby and Abbot’s head shooting up.
“What the fuck?” Abbot murmured, exasperated.
To your dismay, Robby began following him, “Robby!” You called after him, “No more patients!”
“Yeah,” He called back, “I’ll just be a second.” And he disappeared behind the trauma room door.
“Unbelievable.” You sighed and watched Robby anxiously from the hub, biting at your cuticles anxiously.
A few minutes later, he came back out and started talking to Dana as he stood next to you. As he did so, he pulled your hand from your mouth to stop you from biting, holding your hand within both of his.
“Could you please find the remaining day shift so I can do a quick debrief and we can all go home?”
Dana nodded and was off and then Robby sighed heavily. Feeling brave now that he had grabbed your hand on his own, you stood in front of him.
“Hey,” You said softly, “Come here.”
To your surprise, he allowed your touch, in fact, he buried his face in your shoulder of his own volition. You lightly scratched the back of his head and turned your head inward just slightly so you could press kisses to his skin, “Everything’s going to be okay.” You said softly.
He nodded into your shoulder before gently pulling away from you and rubbing a hand over his face.
The day shift had gathered and he released your hand to walk around the front and give the debrief.
The speech was hard to listen to, the emotion in Robby’s voice unmistakable.
“None of us are gonna forget today.” He voice faltered and he rubbed at the tears in his eyes, “even if we really really want to. So, go home. Let yourselves cry. You’ll feel better. It’s just… Grief… Leaving the body.”
You swiped at your own tears as Robby finished and headed off. You immediately walked after him, following him to the memorial wall where Adamson’s portrait was.
You slowed your walk as you approached him, “He would’ve been so proud of everything you did here today.” You said softly.
Robby sniffed and nodded, “I wish he had been here.”
You nodded, “He would’ve made the same decision you did, you know? To take him off the ECMO.”
He shrugged, “Yeah, maybe.”
You chewed the inside of your cheek, “If it had been you, instead… And it was one of your students who extubated. Would you have wanted them to blame themselves like this?”
He sighed heavily, screwing his eyes shut tight.
“If it had been Heather, or Samira, …or Frank? What would you tell them?” He didn’t answer the question, which was fine. It was rhetorical, you both knew what he would say. It would sound a lot like what he had just told them all after this shift from hell. You nudged your shoulder with his, “It’s time you start showing yourself that same grace, hm?” You said gently.
He nodded and then turned to look at you. The grief had settled into his face. He had had these sad, weary eyes the entire night. “Thank you for coming today.” He said, “I know I don’t say it enough, that I push you away when I need you most—“
“It’s okay,” You said softly, “We don’t have to do this now. Not until you’ve slept and eaten. Okay?”
He nodded, blinking away the tears. He looked back towards central, “I just want to check in on Jake and then we can go.”
“Okay,” You intertwined your fingers with his, “I’ll come with you.”
The two of you walk back in to central and head towards North Three, where Jake is with Janey. As you get closer, you let go of his hand, standing just behind him as he looked at Janey and Jake, “How are we doing?”
“We’re doing okay,” Janey said and turned to Jake, “Right?”
Jake didn’t say anything and so Robby went on, “I know that this is difficult. This is gonna hurt for a long time and it’s okay if you wanna blame me. Just, please don’t blame yourself. We’ve been friends for a long time, I would hate it—“
“No we’re not friends,” Jake spat, “And you’re not my father so fuck off.”
Robby stood there frozen. You couldn’t see his face, but you could only imagine the devastation he felt even if he wasn’t showing it on his face. Your hands itched to reach for his so you clasped them in front of you instead.
“Jake.” Janey admonished, but Robby was already walking away.
“Robby,” It was Donnie now stopped him as he was walking away, “Parents of Jake’s girlfriend, Leah, are here. I put them in the viewing room.”
Robby nodded and affectionately patted Donnie on the shoulder.
“Wait, Robby,” You walked quickly to catch up to him, “I’m going with you.”
“No,” He said quickly.
“I wasn’t asking.”
He stopped and turned back to you, “You don’t work here anymore, the fact that you even helped Kiara today I know I’m gonna get shit about from Gloria—“
“Screw Gloria!” You hissed, “I mean, since when do you give a fuck what she thinks anyway? I can help.”
He sighed, “Don’t fight me on this.” He said finally, “You won’t win.”
And then he turned on his heel and left. Christ, he was so fucking frustrating today.
“Um, Dr. Y/L/N?”
You turned at the unfamiliar voice who was addressing you with such formality. She was a tiny brunette, her hair tied back in a short ponytail, and ice blue eyes.
“Y/F/N is fine.” You said, perplexed that someone you didn’t know was addressing you as Doctor. You hadn’t worked at the hospital in so long, most of the people here now simply knew you as Robby’s fiancée and either forgot or didn’t know about your PhD.
“Sorry to bother you, I’m Dr. Trinity Santos. I’m one of Dr. Robby’s new residents. I heard you used to work here? Do psych consults in the ED?”
You nodded, “Yeah, not just here, every floor. But because of the nature of the ER I was here pretty frequently. What can I do for you, Dr. Santos?”
“I have an overdose who came in from Pitt Fest and I’ve confirmed it was a suicide attempt… It’ll likely be days before he gets up to psych. I was just wondering if maybe you could have a conversation with him? Maybe point him in the direction of resources outside of the hospital?”
“Um,” You looked towards the door Robby had just left through, then back to Trinity, “Yeah. Of course. Lead the way.”
***
You sighed as you walked out of the patient’s room with Dr. Santos, “That was a really good catch on your part,” You said to her, “He seemed like a really tough egg to crack, but you got through to him. Really excellent work for an intern, Dr. Santos. Keep it up.”
She beamed at you, “Thank you. And thank you for talking to him, I really think it’ll make a difference.”
“Anytime,” You said and then turned to head back towards the viewing room.
Seeing that patient with Dr. Santos reminded you of what you missed about working at the hospital. You loved collaborating with other clinicians and physicians on a case, the team work and multiple perspectives it brought. Now, you mostly worked on your own for any given case, unless you really needed advice. But the work was more solitary now, which could be quite isolating.
As awful as tonight had been, you realized you really missed being apart of a team.
“Hey, Abbot,” You called to Jack as you got to the hub, “Have you seen Robby? He was notifying Leah’s parents, but then someone grabbed me for a consult and now I don’t see him anywhere.”
“Consult?” He tugged on the stethoscope around his neck, “I thought you don’t work here anymore?”
You tilted your head a bit, “What’re you gonna do, tell Gloria on me?” He gave a short laugh, “Seriously though, Robby?”
He sighed, “I haven’t seen him since the debrief.”
“Okay,” You tried not to panic, but you knew he must be in bad shape. But he wouldn’t go home without you, “Is there a place he goes when he’s upset? Do you think he’s just getting some air out in the ambulance bay or—“
“The roof.” Abbot said.
“Excuse me?”
Abbot scratched the back of his head, “The roof, we go to the roof sometimes to… contemplate.”
You stared at him for a moment and then scoffed, “You ER physicians and your suicidal ideation,” You pushed off the hub and started backing away, “I have half a mind to get you all admitted to psych on 72 hour holds.”
Jack laughed, “Yeah, good luck finding the beds.”
You took a brisk pace heading up to the roof and by the time you got there, you were out of breath. Stepping out into the Pittsburgh night air, you took a deep breath. Everything was going to be okay. The sun would rise again tomorrow. The world would keep spinning. Life would go on.
Your eyes fell to Robby, standing over the railing and far too close to the edge of the building.
And you would get Robby off this roof, safely.
You approached the railing slowly and quietly, but he heard you, his head turned slowly in your direction before he turned back to the skyline, “You shouldn’t be up here.”
“Neither should you,” You leaned on the railing, “Abbot implied you come up here a lot, though.”
He shrugged, “Maybe I just like the view.” He said, but he sniffled.
You hummed, “It is quite lovely up here.”
You swung your leg over the railing and Robby swore as he grabbed you, making sure to stabilize you before your feet got their bearings. When it seemed like you weren’t going to go flying over the edge, he released you.
“It’s you and Jake.” He murmured after the two of you had stood silently for a few moments.
You frowned, “What do you mean?”
“Every time I come up here,” He rubbed at his eyes, “I think about it. Just taking that extra step over the ledge. But I never do, because I think about leaving you and Jake and I can’t do that. But now, Jake...” He shook his head and scratched the back of his head.
“Jake loves you,” You said, “He just needs time. And you’re stuck with me, I’m afraid.”
He shook his head, “And how long until I fuck that up for good, too?”
You inhale deeply, “You know, self fulfilling prophecies are a real thing. So if you convince yourself that you’re going to lose me, chances are you’ll continue to behave in ways that’ll make you lose me.”
He turned to look at you, “I really don’t like when you use your clinical brain to describe our relationship.”
“Sorry. It’s a defense mechanism. Knowing what’s happening and why makes me feel like I can fix it.” You sighed, “You know you can’t keep going like this, right?”
He nodded, tears tracing paths down his cheeks, “I shut down. The moment everybody needed me the most I couldn’t do it. I choked.”
You frowned, “That’s not how I remember it.”
“You know damn well I broke.”
“You didn’t break. You fell apart for a couple minutes, so fucking what? Any other feeling person in your position would have done the same. It’s a strength, not a weakness.” He was shaking his head, “106 people get to go home because of your leadership. I think that more than outweighs the two minutes you took to cry.”
You climbed over the railing and held out a hand to him, “Now I’d like to go home, if you have no further objections.”
You watched his shoulders heave shakily for a few moments before he finally turned and grabbed your hand.
***
Walking through the threshold of the home you shared with Robby nearly made you fall to your knees after the last several hours in the hospital. It was messy, neither of you had had a chance to clean in a while. Unopened mail piled on the console table. Books strewn haphazardly around the living room. A half done crocheting project you had started a week ago was abandoned on the couch. Robby’s toolbox sat, opened by the door to the guest room that he had attempted to replace the doorknob on, but never finished. The dishwasher was full and clean, needing to be emptied and reloaded with the dirty dishes that sat in the sink.
Regardless of the mess, you felt the tension start to ebb out of your body as the warm lights lit up a path to the living room. Unceremoniously, you threw some books and a stray remote out of the way before turning to Robby and forcing him to sit on the couch,
“I’m going to run you a bath,” You said, “Think about what you want to order for takeout?”
“I’m not hungry.” He said, and then reached for you, pulling you straight on top of him.
You chuckled, “Let me go run the bath for you, please?”
He wrapped his arms tightly around you, securing you to his chest, and he kissed your hair, “Just stay with me for a few minutes?”
The smell of him and the feel of his arms around you were more than a bit enticing, unfortunately. You sank into him, pressing your nose into his neck, “Fine. But only a few minutes.”
The rhythm of his breathing, of his heart beat against your skin, lulled you into that place just between waking and dreaming. You hummed, “If I don’t get up now, I’m gonna fall asleep.”
“Would that be so bad?” His voice was thick with exhaustion.
You yawned, “Yes, actually. Your back will be absolutely fucked tomorrow if you fall asleep on this couch.”
You pushed yourself off him and he rubbed his hands over his face. After starting the bath, you went to the fridge and pulled out a container of left over pasta. Grabbing a fork, you took the cold pasta back to the couch and took a bite. You speared a few more noodles and put it in front of Robby’s mouth.
He looked up at you with annoyance, “I said I wasn’t hungry.”
“Just a couple bites, please.”
He sighed heavily, but opened his mouth and watched as you grinned with satisfaction as you fed him the cold pasta.
A few minutes later you put the pasta away and checked on the bath, which was now full. Turning off the water, you headed back to the living room. Robby was still lying on the couch, eyes red rimmed as he stared at the ceiling.
“Come on, baby,” You said softly, holding out your hand, “Bath’s ready.”
He wordlessly took your hand, allowed you to lead him into the bathroom. He watched you carefully as you helped him take off his clothes. “Are you okay?” He asked, softly enough that you weren’t sure you heard him correctly.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” You said quickly, but he stilled you by gently grabbing your wrists.
“Look at me,” Your eyes flicked up to his, “Are you okay?” He asked again.
You blinked rapidly to dispel the burning that was quickly accumulating at the back of your eyes, “I’ll be fine.” You said slowly and nodded your head towards the bath, “Get in, please, before it gets cold.”
He let your non answer pass for the moment, but you knew he wasn’t going to let it go. As much as your persistence on his own well being irritated him, he could be the same way when you were clearly unwell and not being honest about it.
“Get in with me.” He said, already tugging at your clothes.
You sighed, “This is for you, I’m trying to take care of you.”
“Yes,” He smiled tightly, unbuttoning your pants and gently tugging down, “And I want you in the bath with me. Okay?”
You could feel your eyes beginning to water, which is exactly what you didn’t want. You wanted, needed, desperately to focus on the act of taking care of Michael so that you wouldn’t fall apart. And now he was shifting the focus.
He lowered himself in first and then held out a hand for you, helping as you lowered yourself in between his legs. He wrapped his arms around your waist and gently pulled until your back was flush to his chest.
Your eyes fluttered shut as he kissed the side of your neck, “Thank you,” He murmured against your skin, “For not giving up on me today even though I was a bit of a jerk to you.”
“I know you don’t mean it,” You said, “Most of the time when you push me away it’s because you think you don’t deserve the help, not because you don’t want it.”
You both listened to the drip of the faucet for a few moments in silence before he spoke, “I think I’d like to start seeing a therapist.” He said slowly, “If you know a guy.”
The corners of your lips inched up just slightly, “I’ve had a whole roster ready for you for about two years now, take your pick. I’ll print out a list tomorrow.”
He hummed, “I don’t want to lose you,” He said slowly, “And I know if you were anyone else, you likely would’ve been out that door years ago. So, I’m…” He takes a deep, shuddering breath and you place a hand on his thigh beneath the water, squeezing encouragingly, “I’m going to get better. I’m going to be the man you deserve.”
You were encouraged by him finally admitting that something was wrong. He had never done that before. He had never asked you for a referral. But you knew it was still a long road. Things would continue to be very difficult going forward. But if he was willing to try and fight for you, for himself, that was enough for right now.
“I love you,” You said softly, “And I’m going to hold you to this, just so you know.”
“I know,” He pressed his mouth to your shoulder, his beard scratching at your skin, “I love you too.”
“I want to come back to the hospital,” You said after the two of you had been sitting in silence for a few minutes.
You felt him inhale heavily behind you, “I don’t need a babysitter—“
“Not because of you,” You said quickly, “Though I won’t act like it wouldn’t ease my own anxiety being nearby while we’re working. But I… miss being on a care team, the collaboration. I realized today how isolating it is working at a clinic.”
“Well,” He sighed, “I miss working with you, too, actually. The other psychologists don’t laugh at my jokes.”
You huffed a laugh through your nose, “Hate to tell you, Robinavitch, but most of the time I was laughing at your jokes it was because I had a massive crush on you, not because I found them funny.”
You felt his chest rumble with laughter behind you and your heart swelled with the sound.
Later, when the two of you finally climbed into bed, he pulled you to him, your foreheads bent together. Your hand rested gently on his cheek.
You both sat in the dark like that for a while, silently mulling over the events of the day. You couldn’t get the feeling of Leah’s blood on your hands out of your head. The look on Robby’s face when he had finally called time of death. The families you had had to tell that their child, sibling, spouse was dead.
You don’t know which of you started crying first, just that once it started, one of you clawed for the other, pulling each other as close as your bodies would allow. Without any words exchanged between you, you both just held onto each other as wave after wave of grief rolled through. Until eventually, the tears dried and sleep came for them, still wrapped up in one another’s arms.
The moon and the stars faded and the sun rose again.
thoughts on abbot w a younger gf who’s the complete opposite of him?!? think like lulu pink pilates princess
yes. that's the thought. yes.
for some reason i love to write that trope all the time. where gf is just total opposite!! and with jack it's so fitting. he just seems like he would fit so well with the girly, pop princess, pilates, matcha, clean girly.
jack with gf who is leaving for her pilates class when he's coming home from night shift at 6 am!
jack with a gf who does a full face of makeup to just run errands around town!
jack with a gf who owns so many pairs of flared leggings but they're in every color!
jack with a gf who is just so soft and has so much sweetness to her- it counteracts jacks rough exterior!
jack with a gf who packs him lunches for his shifts and she cuts almost everything into cute hearts and leaves cute notes in his pockets!
**I don't believe this has any content warning you should be wary of!
When Robby is pushed to try online dating he's very hesitant. Talking to someone online is entirely different than seeing them up close in person... and he's not even sure he's ready.
1k words
Robby's eyes burn beneath his glasses, staring at the bright blue computer screen for too long. "How long have you been talking to her?" Dana prods. Smiling knowingly.
"Three days." He knows it's futile to try and keep this nurse, or any of them for that matter, out of his business. She's the one who made him set up the damn profile in the first place.
He had been very wary of the entire thing. But after a long day in the ED he'd been laying in bed and curious…
Which led to her.
"You haven't asked her out yet?" Dana wheels her chair closer. "Why the hell not?"
"Because I don't think I want to." He sighs, "It’s one thing texting her on this dumb app it's another seeing her face less than six feet away. In person."
"She wants you to ask her out. Otherwise she wouldn't be responding. Not after three days." She replies.
"How do you know?" Robby rolls his eyes. "You've never been on these things."
"No, but I am a woman. Ask her out." She nods. "Or I'll do it for you." Already reaching for his phone.
"No thank you." He snatches it before she can. "Fine…" He says after a long time. "I'll invite her for dinner."
---
She's late.
Maybe she had to stay late at work and forgot to mention it, or she got into a crash on the way here. Or maybe she realized he's actually a giant loser and why would she even want to go out with an old man like him anyway? His spiral leads him to the conclusion that she stood him up.
Robby knew this was a bad idea. He'd just gotten off work, which ran long since the rain always causes at least one major pile up. Ran home and barely had time to change before rushing to the restaurant only for her to be late.
"I am so sorry-" He hears behind him. His date breathing heavily. Soaking wet. "My car broke down. Then my phone died… and then I dropped it in a puddle so I couldn't call." She rambles.
"That- that's alright." He waves her off.
She stands a little straighter. Now having caught her breath. She tells him her name.
"Michael." He replies. They shake hands. It's formal. Awkward.
She uses the fancy fabric napkin to dry herself off a little when they sit down. Robby watches her quietly. Unsure what to say. So he says nothing. Making things even more uncomfortable. "How was your day?" She tries to break the silence.
"… A teenage boy overdosed on fentanyl and died in front of his parents." He blurts.
"Oh." Is all he gets in reply. Shit. Why did he say that?
"What… what about your day? What is it that you do again?" He coughs, trying to recover.
"Marketing. I manage a few non profit Instagram pages. Post them on my own to boost their engagement…" She explains. "I work for a company, though the followers I've gained are all mine."
This is totally out of territory for Robby. He has no idea what she's talking about. Not really. He doesn't even have any social media accounts. He has caught a few of the med students dancing in front of their phones on a lunch break but has never asked the reason. He doesn't care. He's old. He has no time.
Thankfully the menu comes and he doesn’t have to pretend to know what CTA means.
"Oh… uhm… I'm so sorry Michael-" She flushes.
"What's wrong?" He asks.
"I uh… I thought I mentioned I was vegetarian." Her voice soft. "There isn't anything here I can eat…"
Shit. Just another thing that's gone wrong tonight. "Right. Yeah, no, I knew that." He closes the menu. "Uh…"
"That's okay." She waves him off. "I'm sure I can just… here I'll get the pasta with no chicken."
"That is not a sustainable meal." Shaking his head. Like he eats anything more than air and sleep most nights for dinner. "Fuck." Robby mumbles.
He stands. "Come on." Already grabbing her coat and purse before heading out the door.
"I'm sorry-" She starts.
"No. Don't be sorry, I should have remembered." Robby sighs. He helps her into her jacket before pulling her across the street. "My uh… my ex was vegetarian-" Why is he doing this to himself? He stops at the windows of a taco truck. "She liked… to eat here…" His voice quieting as he finishes.
Robby is never listening to Dana again and he sure as hell is never going on another date again. He is just destined to be alone forever. It's probably better that way anyway.
"These are really good." She smiles, taking a bite. "I've actually passed by this place a few times but never stopped."
Robby nods, taking a bite.
“So you’re a doctor…” she begins. Setting her taco down.
“Yes. And I will not look at any rashes you may have.” He says it in a joking tone but also not kidding. At all.
It does get him a laugh. That sound. He turns his head, a soft smile on his lips. He needs to hear it again.
“I was just wondering if it ever gets easier.” She says.
“Does what get easier?”
“Seeing people hurt. Or dead..” Biting her lip. Feeling maybe she shouldn’t have brought this up. Probably not on a first date. Or ever actually. And her friends wonder why she never gets passed the first date.
“No. It doesn’t. But you get better at hiding it.” Robby replies honestly.
They both finish their meal quietly after that. Then he drives her home.
“I haven’t been on a date in… a really long time so… thank you.” She gives him a soft smile. Looking over at him as he stops the car in front of her building.
He isn’t sure what to say so he nods. He doesn’t feel the date went well. Maybe they aren’t compatible. Or he just isn’t ready.
“… text me?” She leans in and he feels like the breath has been ripped from his lungs.
“Y-yeah-“ a soft kiss pressed to his cheek and it’s the greatest thing he’s ever felt. He imagines what her lips would feel like on his.
But then she’s gone. Running through the rain up towards her apartment doors. She waves at him before disappearing.
His cheek tingles where the faint red print lays on his cheek.
Fuck what he said before. He needs to see her again.
---
Unedited...
Let me know if you like this one!
I was actually a little more nervous about posting this because I feel better writing sad or angsty with a happy ending rather than silly or something
was discussing micheal robinvatich with @/tempfrangit and i've come to the conclusion he's a 'just the tip' truther.
so needy,” he coos condescendingly, brushing your face with the back of one hand while it’s twin holds your hips high, preventing you from slamming down to the hilt. “thought med school taught you everything, baby,” your brows knit, frustrated as he becomes more patronizing.
“please robby,” you whine, high in your throat, hardly understandable. robby just tuts, slapping your ass and making you jolt, “big girl words, baby. future doctors use their big girl words when talking to their attending, yeah?"
do they also beg their attendings to fuck them too?
you groan, growing restless as you attempt to move down “please, let me have it robby. promise i can take it! need it! please please pleasepleasepleaseplease-“ your pleading is knocked out of your lungs when he lets you drop, the immediate stretch making you scream his name. he’s on you immediately, hips slamming into the fat of your ass as he fucks you earnestly. your begging turns to babbles, something akin to “thank you” leaving your mouth over and over again.
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