SYNOPSIS âžâž àŽŻ Demons. The enemy. You hunt them, you kill them, you rid the world of such evil. until you fall for one ⯠disguised as an idol many would fawn over ; but not you, you said, no never you. But Enhypen wasn't just any boy band, they were the enemy, and you had to take them down ⯠one by one.
NOTED ê guys!!!! the server decided to watch k pop demon hunters together one night and fell in absolute love with the concept we just HAD to make an event for it!! In this event each MC will posses a stage name so it's easier to identify each mc when referring to them in other fics! Don't worry, i'll be putting a key down below of each stage name! We're so excited to do this!! and i truly think i'm with some of my best friends and best writers!! (i'm bias of course). Please join us; if you'd like to be tagged, comment down below or send an inbox to the specific author!! we hope you enjoy! Wil be posted on AUGUST 8th.
STAGE NAMES  please remember these are in reference to the MC's of each fic not the enhypen member. These fics are still xreader: this is just a way to better organize when making our fics. VESPYR = the mc's k pop group name.
HEESEUNG - celeste
JAY - nova
JAKE - andy
SUNGHOON - halo
SUNOO - nzeka
JUNGWON - serei
NI-KI - L
TO LOVE THE DAMNED p.js
AUTHOR áżŸ á” â@jakesimfromstatefarm
PAIRING âĄïž idol demon!jay x idol!demon hunter!reader
SYNOPSIS àȘâ⎠heâs a demonâborn from fear, shaped by every voice that told him heâd never be enough. youâre a hunterâa light trained to sense darkness, raised to kill it. but when your truths are forced to collide, it isnât blood that spills. itâs trust. itâs longing. itâs desire. itâs everything neither of you were ever meant to feel. and against every instinctâevery rule of nature written into your bonesâyou want to choose him. even if loving him is the very thing that destroys you. even if it damns you both.
SAVING ANDROMEDA s.jy
AUTHOR áżŸ á” â@dawngyu
PAIRING âĄïž idol!demon!jake x idol!demon hunter!reader
SYNOPSIS àȘâ⎠Every step you take is the sound of an ending approaching. You felt it before. The way his eyes clung to you, as if his soul had remembered yours from lifetimes ago. His hands shook like he had touched prophecy and flinched, he knew you were the dagger and the altar both. He followed you not like a man, but something cursed. They told you your fates were sealed: one would fall, the other would bury. Yet he looks at you like the gods made a mistake. He would burn temples, tear stars from their places. Blood for blood. It will all end as it always does.
ESSENCE OF IMMORTELLE k.sw
AUTHOR áżŸ á” â@yeonmuse
PAIRING âĄïž idol!demon!sunoo x idol!demon hunter!reader
SYNOPSIS àȘâ⎠You were blessed with a voice that could shake those dead or alive to their core. A voice so hauntingly beautiful it could open gateways between worlds, a beacon of light that Sunoo saw as his escape. With you in his clutches he could could be saved from his purgatory, safe from the hell that awaited him. Your light would grant him eternal life.
BALLAD OF A BROKEN ANGEL p.sh
AUTHOR áżŸ á” â@heesmiles
PAIRING âĄïž idol!demon!sunghoon x idol!demon hunter!reader
SYNOPSIS àȘâ⎠You wore your halo like a crown, a gilded emblem perched upon a heart imprisoned in stone. To the world, you were âHaloâ â serene and untouchable, a girl who knew neither anger nor grief nor fear. But only you felt the monster coiled deep within, the shadow that hissed its secrets like a serpent. Only a demon could recognize such a thing â and Sunghoon sees through it all. He knows the truths you bury, the sins you carry, and though you are no demon, he can sense the darkness that stirs just beyond the veil of your holy facade.
THE CHASING GAME y.jw
AUTHOR áżŸ á” â@myjjongie
PAIRING âĄïž idol!demon!jungwon x idol!demon hunter!reader
SYNOPSIS àȘâ⎠He was a normal demon thrown into the fires of the idol industry. For what purpose? Knocking down the demon hunters. But when he saw you for the very first time, that one motive of his changed. All he wanted now was to play a game with you. Every reaction, every emotion, every wall that broke down, he wanted to see it. but for you? you wanted no part in it. A true game of cat and mouse was soon to start.
BLOODBOUND l.hs
AUTHOR áżŸ á” â@heejamas
PAIRING âĄïž idol!demon!heeseung x idol!demon hunter!reader
SYNOPSIS àȘâ⎠they were never supposed to meet. and if they did, they were never supposed to want each other. heeseung is an idol with eyes too sharp and a warning smile and y/n is celeste, the rising star of vespyr, known for her cold stage presence. neither of them knows why theyâre drawn to each other like that. what they donât know is that centuries ago, a blood curse was cast between a demon and the hunter who failed to kill him. doomed to reincarnate over and over, forever chasing and never remembering, until desire breaks the cycle.
THE DISSENTER n.rk
AUTHOR áżŸ á” â@binbro
PAIRING âĄïž idol!demon!ni-ki x idol!demon hunter!reader
SYNOPSIS àȘâ⎠DISSENTER ; A quest through the thorned path of fate. Is it L, the sapped star of VESPYR, spread thin from a life of celebrity? Or Ni-ki, the demon prince who was never meant to seek salvation? Shaped for war, forged in prophecy. When the spotlight fades, what becomes of an idol? What becomes of love, when legacy demands a blade?
love never came easy. sometimes, it didnât come at all. and when it did, it slipped through your fingers before you even knew it was there. but in the quiet moments, the ones that felt small and went unnoticed, thatâs where love lingered. if you were lucky, it stayed. and maybe, that was all you could really ask for.
status. 1/7 complete
note: this short series was inspired by lauvâs songs, specifically the oneâs each drabble is named after. im cheesed to be writing this cuz i love his music (and also bc jungwon was playing it during his recent live and i started crashing out) SO THESE ARE MY ENHA x LAUV CRUMBS !!! theyâre supposed to be oneshots but if i get inspired to write a second part for any particular one, i will :-)
YANG JUNGWON â I LIKE ME BETTER. (COMPLETE)
âđ synopsis. jungwonâs life feels a little calmer with you in it. from everyday boring errands to early morning whispers of âi love youâ, you begin to realize that you like this version of yourselfâthe one when youâre with himâa lot better.
LEE HEESEUNG â MEAN IT. (planned)
âđ synopsis. you never meant to fall in love with heeseung. âcasualâ was what you called it, but between hushed confessions and lingering touches, you started to think it was turning into something real. until it wasnât. doubt made its way into your heart, making you wonder if he ever meant any of it.
PARK JONGSEONG â KIDS ARE BORN STARS. (not started)
âđ synopsis. three years ago, you broke up with jayâwell, sort of. you never actually dated, but you were close. he wanted to pursue his dreams in starting a band and traveling the world and who were you to stop him? you remember it like it was yesterday. the two of you were 17 when he told you, âsomeday, iâm gonna be a really big starâ. you believed him.
SIM JAEYUN â POTENTIAL. (not started)
âđ synopsis. jake swore he would never fall for you, but how could he not? ânext-door-neighbors-since-birth-turned-best friendsâ: it was basically a set up from the beginning. the catch? you had a boyfriend. and jake couldnât stand him.
PARK SUNGHOON â CHASING FIRE. (not started)
âđ synopsis. sunghoon was careful, deliberateânever the type to settle, never the type to stay where he wasnât wanted. there was no point in wasting your time on someone who didnât want you the same way you did. so why the hell was he still holding onto you like losing you would hurt more than loving you ever did?
KIM SUNOO â FEELINGS. (not started)
âđ synopsis. sunoo always wore his heart on his sleeve. he had never been good at hiding how he felt, especially not with you. with stolen glances and shy smiles, all he wanted was for you to be honest with himâwith yourself. deep down he knew you felt it too. and if waiting meant someday you'd say it out loud, he'd wait forever.
NISHIMURA RIKI â SUPERHERO. (not started)
âđ synopsis. riki messed up. he knew that. you made him feel real, and that terrified him. so he ranâthe one thing he was always good at. you're gone, and heâs left with the echo of what you were, or what you could have been. and now, he has to deal with the feeling of missing you.
note: kinda wanna make a pt2 cuz i love angst but i crave a happy ending who knows.
this fic was inspired by this song!
rejection.
itâs something you have become used to in all your years of living. the initial pang of hurt, the never ending tears the morning right after, the hollow feeling in your chest the following days after that. it feels like a never ending cycle.
you often wonder, âwhen will it be my turn?â
the constant belief that one may never be good enough, or pretty enough, or funny enough. you have trained yourself into believing that maybe, just maybe, you were the reason for your own hurt. your own suffering. maybe love is just not meant for you. deep down, you have come to terms with that. a part of you feels okay with not having found âyour personâ despite all your friends seemingly be in happy relationships. and for a while, you were okay with that.
you were okay with being alone.
these feelingsâthe doubt, the anguish, the yearningâwere all constants in your life.
another constant being yang jungwon.
you donât remember when it happened, or even how.
the boy who watched your heart get broken time and time again. the first time he saw it happen was in high schoolâyour sophomore year crush had split your heart in two after a (long) meaningful confession on their birthday. it was devastating to watch, and even jungwon felt the pang of heartbreak seeing the hope in your eyes vanish as they delivered some half-assed speech to somehow soften the blow.
you had been acquaintances then, having shared a few friends. you had hung out a couple of times, but not often enough to have each otherâs phone numbers. he had slowly began to creep his way into your life after that. from shared classes, joint study sessions, cafe dates (though, you would never call it that), to deep conversations over chocolate ice cream and a disgustingly large bag of cheetos.
he was your best friend, your hope, your lifeline.
the boy you could come running to with your heart on your sleeve after another had broken it.
the boy who wiped your tears and told you how it was always their loss and never yours.
the boy who always managed to pick up your broken pieces and put them back together without ever complaining.
your jungwon.
what you donât remember is when he became the boy you loved.
the thing that confused you most was that you knew.
youâve always loved him.
you had loved him since he started barging into your home without needing to ask because you knew your mother loved having him over (and so did you).
you had loved him when he accidentally spilled his drink all over your senior prom dress and tried to clean it up for you, only to make it much worse.
you had loved him when he helped you move into your new university dorm and accidentally brought over a box of his own stuff instead of yours.
itâs still there, though.
his stuff. the box is tucked away under your bed. his spare toothbrush sits in the little mug you have in your bathroom. his hoodie hangs off the back of your desk chair. itâs a constant reminder that heâs there. always.
your love for him was obvious. he knew you loved him. you knew you loved him, and he loved you too. the confusing part was when the love started to feel different.
you did not love him like you loved your other friends. you did not love him like he was the boy you spent majority of your teenage life with. you did not love him like he was the boy you shared a dorm floor with. you did not love him like he was your best friend.
and that terrified you.
you take a mental note of when it all started to feel different.
the sun started to catch the tips of his hair differently. his laugh started to make you smile a little harder. his cologne started to make you feel dizzy. every time he spoke, your eyes would briefly land on his lips. his little habits became more endearing. his voice became the one thing you wanted to hear after a long day. you stopped crushing on other people. even he noticed.
âso, what happened with that one guy? yâknow, the tall scary dude from your history class,â jungwonâs fingers played with the loose thread on your comforter. you reached for another gummy bear, popping it into your mouth.
you shrug, âheâs just.. not that cute anymore.â
jungwon snickered. he gave you that look. the one where he had to bite back a smile and raised his eyebrows at you.
âjust the other week you were going on and on about him. now heâs just not that cute? i listened to you talk about him for months just for him to not be that cute?â
you grabbed the nearest object, your penguin pillow pet that he had gifted you for your 18th birthday, and chucked it at his head. he let out a scream, protecting his head with his arms.
âa girl changed her mind! sue me.â
jungwon peeks up at you from behind his hands, a teasing smile on his lips.
âif you say so.. you know, every time i ask you about one of your little love interests now, you never actually seem that into them. has y/n finally decided to live her life as an independent woman?!â
âiâll hit you again.â
spending time with him every day only made things worse. the feelings began to grow. the pieces started to fit together and it was terrifying. you loved jungwonâno.
you were in love with him.
somehow, he managed to dig a cozy little hole in your heart and planted his ass in there. permanently.
first, came the panic. you were freaked out of your god damn mind. how did this even happen? you were supposed to be friends. best friends. what if this ruined your friendship? or worseâwhat if he rejected you? god, you could not possibly come back from that because this time, it was different.
it wasnât just another crush. this was love. sick, twisted, and cruel love.
then, came the overthinking. what if he thinks youâre weird? for years, you would come to him crying over another. what if he thinks you were just using him as a rebound? would he view you differently if you confessed? what if you werenât good enough for him?
he was the light of your life. he lit up every room he entered. there was never a smile unaccounted for when he was around.
your tried your best to be everything he needed, but what if it wasnât enough? he deserved to be with someone great and you werenât so sure that someone could be you.
your feelings grew, and so did the distance.
it started off as cancelled hang outs and cafe dates (again, not like you would call it that). then, it turned into missed text messages and calls. you no longer wished him âgood morningâ first thing after you opened your eyes. eventually, you started avoiding him physically. it was a bit difficult considering he lived on your floor, but you knew him. you knew his schedule and worked around it.
it was clear that he noticed the space between you two. he had asked you about it when he caught you in the lobby of your dorm building, but you quickly brushed him off and ran for the front door. eventually, he stopped trying. the texts stopped coming in and every time you passed him by the elevator, neither of you acknowledged the otherâs presence.
it hurt. the ache in your chest was more powerful than any heartbreak you had endured in the past few years. you missed him. your eyes lingered on his toothbrush every morning. even though he was gone, pieces of him were still scattered around your life.
you had finally had enough. you realized that his absence pained you more than his rejection ever could.
you love him and you wanted him to know that. you were ready.
you had written him a letterâjust in case you couldnât get the words out yourself. you even put a heart sticker on it. cheesy, but it made you smile.
with a newfound determination, you walked to the cafe. you knew he would probably be there at this time, thanks to your mutual friends who had secretly kept you updated on jungwonâs life and whereabouts. not like you asked or anything.
you stopped once you reached the building. you looked down at your hands, your thumb gently running over the inked letters of his name.
ânow or never i guess, right?â you mumbled to yourself.
with closed eyes, you took a deep breath before turning the corner and approaching the glass door. you glanced through the large windows, and before you knew it your feet had stopped moving.
inside, tucked in a little corner, was jungwon. he sat facing the window which allowed you full view of his face. he was smiling. he seemed happy.
except, he wasnât alone.
long brown hair. her back was facing you but it felt like her presence was mocking you.
you watched as he laughed along to whatever she was saying, his eyes crinkling into those little crescents you always admired. your heart squeezed a little harder when you watched her hand reach out to grab his.
you felt your breath catch. you didnât realize you were crying till you heard your tears hit the envelope in your hands.
you were too late.
his eyes drifted to yours, widening in shock. recognition flashed in his expression. you watched his shoulders tense up. the moment was fleeting before he looked away, his attention returning to the person in front of him.
your felt your heart shatter.
you had gotten your heart broken countless times before, but this time the pain felt different.
this time, he was the one to brush you off.
this time, you had nobody to run home to. nobody to wipe your tears or piece your heart back together.
this time, it was your loss.
and that realization was something you werenât sure you could heal from.
WARNINGS. mentions of alcohol, reader gets wasted, tiny innuendo but nothing crazy
note: not super sure if i like this or not, but it's too cute not to share. first part of my mini series is complete!! i hope you guys enjoy ⥠they're so cute in this i want to die.
TAGS. @ilyunjina
college parties were never really your thing, but a consequence of being best friends with yunjin, the jennifer huh, was that she was going to drag you to one every. single. weekend.
every night, somehow always at exactly eight oâclock, she would barge into your room with that mischievous grin on her face. she would tear your drawers apart, looking for an outfit she deemed fit. occasionally, she would throw out a complaint about how lackluster your closet was. as her best friend, you knew telling her ânoâ was useless. every attempt you made to convince her to let you rot away alone at home was of no use.
âyou look so hot,â she squealed, watching from your bed as you applied the finishing touches of your makeup. she was already dolled up from head to toe, sporting a plain white tube top and ripped blue jeans, her leather jacket laid out beside her. an item she always brought in case it got too cold.
you wore a similar outfitâa black cropped tank and cargo pants, pairing it with a knitted white bolero and sneakers. it was simple, but comfortable. you sprayed an ungodly amount of setting spray onto your face, ensuring that you will not fall victim to frat house makeup tonight.
your desk was full of soju bottles, courtesy of your lovely roommate, and you watched as she reached for a half opened one. âthis is gonna be so much fun! heeseung and jay are hosting tonight, which means unlimited booze and the place is gonna be full of eye candy. maybe youâll get lucky tonight,â yunjin teased, taking another (comedically large) sip of her drink.
you rolled your eyes, but she didnât miss the quiet chuckle you let out. you reached for a bottle, âdefinitely not on my bucket list tonight, but i fully support you if thatâs what youâre after.â the sweet peach flavor went down easy, filling your chest with a warmth that was reserved for nights out on the weekend.
yunjin responded with a shrug, downing the rest of it in one go. your phone dinged, lighting up with a message notification.
jake (australian)
im here đ lets GOOOOOOOO
with a snicker, you quickly typed a response before shoving your phone in your back pocket. âjakeâs here,â at your words, yunjin cheered happily before running out of your room to put on her shoes. you quickly fixed your hair before grabbing your bag, filling it up with whatever you might need for the night. lipstick, hand sanitizer, deodorant, power bank, and a pack of tissues.
perfect.
you followed yunjin out of the apartment, meaningless conversation filling the elevator as you headed for the lobby. once you made it outside, you immediately spotted jakeâs car. he was filthy rich, and his car alone could probably pay off all of your current bills and grad school tuition.
you slid into the passenger side, the smell of clean leather and cologne filling your senses. you reached over the middle console to give him a hug, his hair brushing against your cheek.
you and jake have been close friends since you started university. you met in your freshman year physics class, bonding over math formulas that didnât make any sense to you (it still doesnât), but always seemed to make sense to him. he became your tutor for the remainder of that semester, answering your 3:00am facetime calls just to see you crashing out over another assignment without complaining. since then, you were inseparable.
âwhaddup,â yunjin said cooly, dapping up the boy from the back seat. âare you guys ready to drink?â jake sang, his engine roaring to life as he put his car in drive. you let out a soft huff, hand placed over your stomach.
âshe fed me enough soju to kill a bull,â the drink provided a slight buzz, and you silently thanked whatever holy being above decided to bless you with a high tolerance to alcohol. your comment earned a hearty laugh from jake while yunjin simply smiled at you, her elbows up against the console as she peered between the two of you. âit isnât a successful pregame unless you leave juuust a little bit drunk. itâs a pregame for a reason. preparing for the game that is the DAE frat house.â
the rest of the drive was quiet, aside from the sensual rnb playing softly from his car speakers. you watched as the university campus came into view, a short ten minute drive from your shared apartment with yunjin.
there were other students roaming the streetsâsome returning from their friday night classes and others laughing a little too loud, clearly drunk, and headed to another party. jake parked along the street, turning on his emergency brake and turning off the car with a twist of his key. he stepped out, jogging over to your side to open the door for you, ever the gentleman.
you thanked him with a soft smile, yunjin immediately grabbing your hand and dragging you to the front door. the three of you walked in, loud party music booming through the house and lights turned to a deep purple color. it was warm and smelled like sweat and spilled vodka.
lovely.
you squeezed through the crowd with yunjin pulling you along and jake trailing from behind. you stopped once you reached the kitchen, a loud squeal catching your attention. âyouâre here!!â a short brunette came running up, throwing her arms around yunjinâs neck. âchaewon! oh god, you reek of alc.â
the girl giggled, swatting aimlessly at yunjinâs arm. her eyes landed on you, widening in pure glee before she took hold of your arms, pulling you into her own. you let out a shocked âohâ, your hands hovering awkwardly over her back. âyou must be y/nnie. youâre so pretty.. and you smell good. like.. flowers and happiness,â she slurred, nose buried in your hair.
yunjin cupped her mouth to suppress a laugh while jake watched in amusement. âthank.. you?â you gently pried her off of you, hands on her shoulders to stabilize her. âalright, letâs get you some water.â yunjin chimed in before whisking the girl away, mouthing a quick âsorryâ to you as she searched for a clean cup.
âwell, she seems cool,â jake chirped, eyes darting from her wobbly figure to your own. âdrinks?â you gave him a curt nod, turning towards the counter to scan the endless amount of options before you. vodka, soju, beer, whiskeyâyou could throw up just looking at it.
you settled on a quick shot of cheap vodka, while jake made himself a mixed drink. he was driving tonight, so he couldnât allow himself to get wasted.
a few of your friends began flooding the kitchen, greeting one another with cheery âhellosâ and offers to take more shots. jay and heeseung soon joined in, dapping up jake with red solo cups in hand. ây/n, you made it!â jay cheered, raising his voice to be heard over âbeauty and a beatâ by justin bieber that vibrated the walls. he gave you a quick side hug before shaking his cup gently in your direction, a subtle invitation for another drink. you nodded at him, turning your head just in time to lock eyes with heeseung.
âhi pretty,â he wore his signature smile, arms wrapping around your shoulders. you could smell the lingering traces of alcohol in his breath, arm splayed over his waist as you returned the hug. âthanks for hosting tonight.â you pulled away, taking the shot glass from between jayâs fingers and downing it in one go. the boy whooped from beside you before taking one himself.
âyou can thank us by drinking~â heeseung sang, filling up his cup for the nth time tonight.
free alcohol is free alcohol, right?
thirty minutes later, you were seven shots deep and leaning drunkenly against the kitchen counter, elbows propped up behind you. jake stood beside you, talking animatedly with heeseung about fifa.
âdude, ni-ki, youâre like⊠ridiculously tall. you look like a giraffe,â the younger boy raised his eyebrows, pursing his lips. âthanks, dude. i think?â
âyouâre so welcome, dude.â
your head throbbed and the room looked like it was spinning. you reached for the cup behind you, grabbing the luke warm brita off the counter and filling it up. you pressed it to your lips, chugging it like your life depended on it. placing it down, your head turned out of instinct as you heard another round of cheers from your friends.
a boy had walked in, greeting everyone with a bright and pretty smile. he had soft blonde hair that caught underneath the dim lighting of the kitchen, pretty cat-like eyes, and a devastatingly adorable dimple on his left cheek.
you werenât sure if it was the alcoholâno, it definitely wasnâtâhe was just gorgeous.
and totally out of your league.
that didnât stop you though.
âholy shit, youâre so hot.â it came out before you could help it, all of your friendsâ heads snapping in your direction in shock. the blonde gawked at you in disbelief before his expression turned into one of amusement, âoh! thank you.. and you definitely arenât wasted, right?â his tone was teasing, his cheek sinking in slightly as he chewed on it.
you let out a drunken giggle, your head moving side to side. âi donât even like alcohol..â your hand swatted at the air, elbow slipping off of the counter. jake grabbed your arm, holding you up to prevent you from falling straight onto the kitchen floor.
âjungwon, y/nây/n, jungwon. not sure if youâll remember tomorrow though,â jay said, earning chuckles from the other guys. jungwon simply shook his head, smile still evident on his face. he quickly joined in on the drinks, grabbing a cup and mixing up his own concoction.
you didnât even realize yunjin had disappeared until jake leaned in and asked if youâd seen her. somewhere in the background, you caught sunghoon mentioning her nameâsomething about chaewon, but it was fuzzy. the alcohol was definitely hitting you now, warmth spreading through your body, cheeks flushed, and eyes heavy-lidded.
eventually, you slipped away to get some air. the heat was unbearable, and the packed crowd and blaring music only made it worseâyou needed space.
you found an empty pool chair in the backyard and dropped into it with a heavy sigh, letting yourself sink back. a shadow cast over you, and as your eyes adjusted, there he wasâthe familiar hot blonde from earlier, âyou alright?â
âjust sleepy. and hot. really hot,â you whined, hands tugging at your bolero to pull it off. jungwon chuckled, crouching down beside you. âdo you wanna go home?â he asked with a tilt of his head.
so fucking cute.
yeah, it wasnât the alcohol.
ânot with you, pervert.â
jungwon swore his ears were on fire. his eyes widened so big they might as well pop out of their sockets. he cleared his throat, eyes unable to look at your sleepy figure any longer without feeling bashful, ân-not like that! i meant do you want me to drive you home? like, to your own house. and i leave you there. inside. alone. and i will go to my respective home.â
âoh! yes please,â you dragged on the last syllable, hands pressed against the cool fabric of the chair to push yourself into an upright position. âwhereâs jakey? he drove me. will he be mad?â your lower lip jutted outwards, a small pout on your face.
âi donât think heâll be mad. let me go ask him, okay? donât go anywhere,â jungwon patted your shoulder before standing, stepping back inside to find your best friend.
a few minutes later, the two boys came back outside to find you fast asleep. they exchanged knowing glances before jake spoke up, âare you cool with taking her back to her apartment? iâm helping sunoo try to wrestle heeseung out of his smelly party clothes and into his pajamas. plus, i still have no fucking clue where yunjin is,â the last part came out a bit strained, annoyance at his missing friend bubbling to the surface.
jungwon let out a soft chuckle, his hand coming up to slap jakeâs back. âyeah, iâll take her. just send me her address,â with that he approached you, dozed off and snoring just a little bit, and scooped you up in his arms. they walked out to his car, jake popping the passenger door open and helping him carefully ease you inside.
once you were secure, they closed the door and bid each other goodbye. jungwon hopped into the driverâs seat, turning on the car and setting the heater on low. once he got your address from jake, he clicked on the link and began the venture to your apartment. occasionally, he would glance over to check if you had woken up.
nothing.
your lips were slightly parted, head pressed up against the window as you slept peacefully. a grin made its way to his face, knowing youâd definitely face a nasty hangover tomorrow.
he pulled up to your apartment complex, parking his car before getting out to help you inside. when he reached to unbuckle you, you let out a sleepy whine. âcâmon, y/n, i need to get you home.â his words were soft, arms moving underneath your knees and back to pull you out. your eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the brighter lights of the street lamps.
âoh my god, hot guy. am i still dreaming?â your voice was barely above a whisper, eyes opening and closing at the slowest pace known to man. jungwon grinned, eyes trained on the path in front of him as he walked with you into your building. ânope, definitely not dreaming. hot guy is carrying you home.â
âi knew it. pervert..â
ânot like that!â
a few weeks after your first meeting, you two quickly became good friends. he began hanging out with the group more often, simply to see you.
he knew he couldâve just asked you to hang out alone, without prying eyes and teasing comments, but he was scared. it was obvious you were at the least attracted to him, hence the âhot guyâ nickname your friends still havenât let go of. when he finally mustered up the courage (courtesy of jay who threatened to ask you out if jungwon didnât grow the balls to do so himself) to pop the question, you happily agreed.
scoreâyou managed to bag hot guy.
three months later, you and jungwon had made your relationship official. not a single person in your friend group was surprised at the new relationship.
it just made sense. you were two halves of one whole.
you couldnât really pinpoint the exact moment it happenedâwhen the way you felt about him started shifting into something deeper, something a little heavier.
something more like love.
of course, you liked him. he wouldnât be your boyfriend otherwise, but your liking started to twist painfully in your chest, ready to explode at any given moment.
it wasnât sudden, more like a slow unravelingâbut there were signs.
the first time was when the two of you decided to spend the night in at his apartment. the sun had already set, the faint glow of city lights shining through the large windows. you were sat on his couch, scrolling away on your phone as he stood in the kitchen. he stared at the inside of his fridgeâmilk, a carton of eggs, a few sauce bottles, and a pack of soju.
âbabe, i think we should order in,â you looked up from your phone, catching a glimpse of his defeated expression before searching for the delivery app on your phone. âwe really should go to the store. we have⊠like, nothing.â
jungwon sat down on the couch beside you, his side pressed up against your own as he watched you browse through dinner options, âare you craving anything?â you questioned, your free hand landing on his leg to fidget with the extra pockets decorating his pants.
jungwon bit his lip, thinking quietly. âmaybe pizza? ooo, or chinese. we can get those noodles you likeâoh! or we can get wings? i heard about this crazy deal the other day from jakeâŠâ you watched silently as he rambled on, eyes sparkly and hands moving in an animated manner that made your heart squeeze painfully in adoration. he did that a lot.
jungwon, realizing you hadnât spoken, turned to face you. he blinked, his eyebrows furrowing cutely as you continued to watch him with a stupid little smile on your face, âwhat?â he quipped, starting to wonder if the hunger was starting to make you crazy. âis there something on my face?â
you shook your head, ânothing. youâre just cute.â
jungwon sat, stunned at your sudden compliment before he grinned, wide enough to make your own cheeks hurt just from looking at it. he threw his arms around you, peppering kisses on your face as you shouted in protest.
it was clear he thought the same thing about you, too.
the second time was when you went out to shop for groceries. yunjin had complained about the lack of snacks in the house, so you took the opportunity to drag jungwon along with you. he was very helpful, aside from when he would get distracted by every little thing that caught his attention.
âbabe, look,â you heard from behind you, turning your head to see what your boyfriend was preoccupied with this time. âturtle chips. do you think they taste like turtle?â
you raised an eyebrow at his sudden question, staring in amusement (and a little something that resembled reconsideration of your whole relationship) as he smelled the bag.
the outside of the bag.
strange guy.
âi think itâs just âcause of the mascot, won.â
âyou never know these days..â
you laughed as he tilted his head, lips pursed and brows lifted slightly before putting the bag down. he gently nudged to you the side with a bump of his hip, pushing the cart as you marched ahead.
he watched as you read off the grocery list, placing things into the cart. he sported a little smile, studying you with gentle eyes. being here with you, shopping for more snacks than real groceries, felt so domestic.
so natural.
it tugged a little at his heartstrings, warmth blooming in his chest.
it was in these quiet, everyday moments that he took the time to really admire you, picking apart the minor details that just made you so⊠you.
the way you chewed your lip when making decisions, the crease between your brows forming when you couldnât find whatever you were searching for, the way you blew your hair out of your face when a strand of it fell in front of your eyes.
his mind and his heart were so full of you, and he hoped that would never change.
âjungwon, are you even listening?â your voice pulled him out of his thoughts, shaking his head a little as if forgetting where he was. âum, yeah! definitely.â
you gave him a blank stare, one that he returned with a sheepish smile, âno⊠sorry?â
you let out a groan before turning around and sauntering off, stomping away like an angry child. he chased after you, the shopping cart bumping into one of the aisles with a loud crash that made you cringe.
âw-wait! babe, iâm listening! for real now!â
the third time was when you were all hanging out at sunoo and rikiâs apartment. everyone sat in a circle in the living room, an array of random snacks and drinks littered across the coffee table and floor. sunoo was in the middle of a very dramatic rendition of how he embarrassed himself in front of the group of freshmen he was in charge of during orientation week. laughter flooded the apartment, a feeling of peace settling into your body as you followed along with whatever he was talking about.
âi didnât even see him coming!â jake bursted into a fit of uncontrollable giggles, doubling over and collapsing into jungwonâs lap who was sat next to him, clapping his hands loudly. you swore you could see tears prick at the corner of his eyes from how hard he was cracking up.
you excused yourself to the bathroom, earning a little nod from your friends before they continued their extremely hilarious conversation. you took the time to clean yourself up, wiping away at the smudged mascara that appeared as a result of your evening with your friends.
a few minutes passed before you stepped out, turning off the lights with a soft click of the switch. as you made your way back, you paused in the hallway when you heard your name come out of your boyfriendâs mouth. you stood around the corner, listening in on their conversation.
âoh my god, it was so funny. y/n came out of her room with this HUGE blue wig on her head. i think i peed myself a little,â jungwon said, his hands moving in that animated manner as if to show just how big your wig was.
âhate to break it to you, but that was my idea. i told her a homer and marge couple costume would be cute. i wasnât wrong.â yunjin chimed in, failing to hold in the laugh that came spilling out. jungwon stood up suddenly, pointing an accusing finger at his friend, âSO IT WAS YOUR FAULT I HAD TO WEAR A BALD CAP!â
at this point everyone had laid across the floor, rolling over and slapping the person next to them in amusement. âat least y/n looked good! couldnât fit through the door though. head was too big,â you pressed your fingers to your lips at heeseungâs joke, trying your best not to reveal yourself from where you were hiding.
you remember the moment like it was yesterday. it was a fond one, a story you shared often with your friends.
jungwon rolled his eyes. he sat down with a loud sigh, turning his head with his eyes closed and arms crossed over his chest, âsheâs always pretty. but next time, sheâs getting the bald cap,â you smiled at his comment, leaning against the wall as you watched him fondly. when he opened his eyes, they locked with yours. they widened in surprise before he returned the smile, the dimple on his cheek that you loved kissing appearing with it.
you walked back over to your seat, squeezing yourself in between jungwon and riki, âi am never wearing a bald cap, thank you very much. thatâs all you. for the rest of your life. until you actually start going bald too. then, you wonât need one!â
âWHAT THE HELL?!â
you stared at the photobook in your hands, fingers tracing the edges of each polaroid that sat snugly between the pages. you made it a tradition to snap a photo every time you hung out, a way to preserve your memories forever in colored ink.
one from the party you first met at, another from the pool party you and yunjin hosted last summer, one from your camping trip, and othersâall of them serving as a reminder of the joy you experienced with jungwon and your friends from the past year.
you closed the book gently, the soft smile never leaving your face. the gentle hum of music played out of the speaker tucked into the corner of jungwonâs living room.
you heard itâthe first song he ever sent to you through text, a little âthis made me think of youâ message following shortly after. the apartment smelled like warm sugar and the lingering traces of his cologne, a scent you began to consider home.
jungwon was in the kitchen, probably making breakfast like he always did. he knew how you took your coffee by heart, never failing to wake you up with it each morning with a sleepy grin on his face. you placed the book next to your phone, lighting up with a notification from yunjin declaring yet another group hang out you simply could not afford to miss.
you stood up from the couch, your fluffy house slippers padding against the floor as you walked over to jungwon.
leaning against the kitchen island, you stared at his messy morning hair and broad back, clad in the loose t-shirt he woke up in. he turned around with a smile on his face, one that never failed to appear every time he saw you, âhi, angel. what were you up to?â
you returned the gesture, happily taking your favorite mug out of his hands, âi was just looking through our photos. we should buy more film soon, by the way.â jungwon hummed in response, hands moving to plate your food.
âwe can over the weekend,â he replied, sliding it in front of you before pressing a long kiss to your forehead. the smell of sweet, buttery pancakes and bacon filled your senses. you noticed the strawberries that were cut up into little hearts that sat neatly off to the side.
just how you liked them.
âiâm gonna go change. yunjin will actually skin me alive if weâre late again,â he grumbled before disappearing into his bedroom.
you watched him walk away, his golden locks bouncing with each step. you let out a quiet laugh, picking up your fork and digging in.
it wasnât difficult to understand, then.
somewhere along the way, âiâ started turning into âweâ.
his hand started to fit in yours like it was always meant to be there. your mornings were often spent together rather than separatelyâmuch to yunjinâs dismay, who swore he had completely stolen you away from her.
your chest ached, but not in a painful way. it was the kind of ache that comes with realizing youâre exactly where youâre supposed to beâright here with him by your side.
because he never said âi love youâ like it was something he owned. rather, he meant it like something you had builtâtogether.
jungwon didnât just love you.
he included you.
in his life, in every word he spoke, every story he shared, and every moment he lived.
you realized you liked yourself more when you were apart of somethingâsomething soft, but heavy with meaning and purpose.
something, or someone, like yang jungwon.
jungwon who turned âweâ into something more than just a simple word.
jungwon who loved you delicately, but still passionate in his own way, who assured you from the very beginning that he was all in.
he introduced you to a type of love that was soft and easy, but it was one that meant everything.
to put it simply, you liked yourself better when you were with him.
you always had, and you always will.
ây/n, have you seen my sweater? if riki took it again, i swear iâm about to go full jackie chan on that kid,â his voice called from down the hall, sharp and exasperated.
a sudden thud made you flinch, followed by a muffled yelp and the clatter of hangers shifting in his closet.
then, a beat laterâslightly winded, definitely bruised ego.
WARNINGS. mentions of alcohol, reader gets wasted, tiny innuendo but nothing crazy
note: not super sure if i like this or not, but it's too cute not to share. first part of my mini series is complete!! i hope you guys enjoy ⥠they're so cute in this i want to die.
TAGS. @ilyunjina
college parties were never really your thing, but a consequence of being best friends with yunjin, the jennifer huh, was that she was going to drag you to one every. single. weekend.
every night, somehow always at exactly eight oâclock, she would barge into your room with that mischievous grin on her face. she would tear your drawers apart, looking for an outfit she deemed fit. occasionally, she would throw out a complaint about how lackluster your closet was. as her best friend, you knew telling her ânoâ was useless. every attempt you made to convince her to let you rot away alone at home was of no use.
âyou look so hot,â she squealed, watching from your bed as you applied the finishing touches of your makeup. she was already dolled up from head to toe, sporting a plain white tube top and ripped blue jeans, her leather jacket laid out beside her. an item she always brought in case it got too cold.
you wore a similar outfitâa black cropped tank and cargo pants, pairing it with a knitted white bolero and sneakers. it was simple, but comfortable. you sprayed an ungodly amount of setting spray onto your face, ensuring that you will not fall victim to frat house makeup tonight.
your desk was full of soju bottles, courtesy of your lovely roommate, and you watched as she reached for a half opened one. âthis is gonna be so much fun! heeseung and jay are hosting tonight, which means unlimited booze and the place is gonna be full of eye candy. maybe youâll get lucky tonight,â yunjin teased, taking another (comedically large) sip of her drink.
you rolled your eyes, but she didnât miss the quiet chuckle you let out. you reached for a bottle, âdefinitely not on my bucket list tonight, but i fully support you if thatâs what youâre after.â the sweet peach flavor went down easy, filling your chest with a warmth that was reserved for nights out on the weekend.
yunjin responded with a shrug, downing the rest of it in one go. your phone dinged, lighting up with a message notification.
jake (australian)
im here đ lets GOOOOOOOO
with a snicker, you quickly typed a response before shoving your phone in your back pocket. âjakeâs here,â at your words, yunjin cheered happily before running out of your room to put on her shoes. you quickly fixed your hair before grabbing your bag, filling it up with whatever you might need for the night. lipstick, hand sanitizer, deodorant, power bank, and a pack of tissues.
perfect.
you followed yunjin out of the apartment, meaningless conversation filling the elevator as you headed for the lobby. once you made it outside, you immediately spotted jakeâs car. he was filthy rich, and his car alone could probably pay off all of your current bills and grad school tuition.
you slid into the passenger side, the smell of clean leather and cologne filling your senses. you reached over the middle console to give him a hug, his hair brushing against your cheek.
you and jake have been close friends since you started university. you met in your freshman year physics class, bonding over math formulas that didnât make any sense to you (it still doesnât), but always seemed to make sense to him. he became your tutor for the remainder of that semester, answering your 3:00am facetime calls just to see you crashing out over another assignment without complaining. since then, you were inseparable.
âwhaddup,â yunjin said cooly, dapping up the boy from the back seat. âare you guys ready to drink?â jake sang, his engine roaring to life as he put his car in drive. you let out a soft huff, hand placed over your stomach.
âshe fed me enough soju to kill a bull,â the drink provided a slight buzz, and you silently thanked whatever holy being above decided to bless you with a high tolerance to alcohol. your comment earned a hearty laugh from jake while yunjin simply smiled at you, her elbows up against the console as she peered between the two of you. âit isnât a successful pregame unless you leave juuust a little bit drunk. itâs a pregame for a reason. preparing for the game that is the DAE frat house.â
the rest of the drive was quiet, aside from the sensual rnb playing softly from his car speakers. you watched as the university campus came into view, a short ten minute drive from your shared apartment with yunjin.
there were other students roaming the streetsâsome returning from their friday night classes and others laughing a little too loud, clearly drunk, and headed to another party. jake parked along the street, turning on his emergency brake and turning off the car with a twist of his key. he stepped out, jogging over to your side to open the door for you, ever the gentleman.
you thanked him with a soft smile, yunjin immediately grabbing your hand and dragging you to the front door. the three of you walked in, loud party music booming through the house and lights turned to a deep purple color. it was warm and smelled like sweat and spilled vodka.
lovely.
you squeezed through the crowd with yunjin pulling you along and jake trailing from behind. you stopped once you reached the kitchen, a loud squeal catching your attention. âyouâre here!!â a short brunette came running up, throwing her arms around yunjinâs neck. âchaewon! oh god, you reek of alc.â
the girl giggled, swatting aimlessly at yunjinâs arm. her eyes landed on you, widening in pure glee before she took hold of your arms, pulling you into her own. you let out a shocked âohâ, your hands hovering awkwardly over her back. âyou must be y/nnie. youâre so pretty.. and you smell good. like.. flowers and happiness,â she slurred, nose buried in your hair.
yunjin cupped her mouth to suppress a laugh while jake watched in amusement. âthank.. you?â you gently pried her off of you, hands on her shoulders to stabilize her. âalright, letâs get you some water.â yunjin chimed in before whisking the girl away, mouthing a quick âsorryâ to you as she searched for a clean cup.
âwell, she seems cool,â jake chirped, eyes darting from her wobbly figure to your own. âdrinks?â you gave him a curt nod, turning towards the counter to scan the endless amount of options before you. vodka, soju, beer, whiskeyâyou could throw up just looking at it.
you settled on a quick shot of cheap vodka, while jake made himself a mixed drink. he was driving tonight, so he couldnât allow himself to get wasted.
a few of your friends began flooding the kitchen, greeting one another with cheery âhellosâ and offers to take more shots. jay and heeseung soon joined in, dapping up jake with red solo cups in hand. ây/n, you made it!â jay cheered, raising his voice to be heard over âbeauty and a beatâ by justin bieber that vibrated the walls. he gave you a quick side hug before shaking his cup gently in your direction, a subtle invitation for another drink. you nodded at him, turning your head just in time to lock eyes with heeseung.
âhi pretty,â he wore his signature smile, arms wrapping around your shoulders. you could smell the lingering traces of alcohol in his breath, arm splayed over his waist as you returned the hug. âthanks for hosting tonight.â you pulled away, taking the shot glass from between jayâs fingers and downing it in one go. the boy whooped from beside you before taking one himself.
âyou can thank us by drinking~â heeseung sang, filling up his cup for the nth time tonight.
free alcohol is free alcohol, right?
thirty minutes later, you were seven shots deep and leaning drunkenly against the kitchen counter, elbows propped up behind you. jake stood beside you, talking animatedly with heeseung about fifa.
âdude, ni-ki, youâre like⊠ridiculously tall. you look like a giraffe,â the younger boy raised his eyebrows, pursing his lips. âthanks, dude. i think?â
âyouâre so welcome, dude.â
your head throbbed and the room looked like it was spinning. you reached for the cup behind you, grabbing the luke warm brita off the counter and filling it up. you pressed it to your lips, chugging it like your life depended on it. placing it down, your head turned out of instinct as you heard another round of cheers from your friends.
a boy had walked in, greeting everyone with a bright and pretty smile. he had soft blonde hair that caught underneath the dim lighting of the kitchen, pretty cat-like eyes, and a devastatingly adorable dimple on his left cheek.
you werenât sure if it was the alcoholâno, it definitely wasnâtâhe was just gorgeous.
and totally out of your league.
that didnât stop you though.
âholy shit, youâre so hot.â it came out before you could help it, all of your friendsâ heads snapping in your direction in shock. the blonde gawked at you in disbelief before his expression turned into one of amusement, âoh! thank you.. and you definitely arenât wasted, right?â his tone was teasing, his cheek sinking in slightly as he chewed on it.
you let out a drunken giggle, your head moving side to side. âi donât even like alcohol..â your hand swatted at the air, elbow slipping off of the counter. jake grabbed your arm, holding you up to prevent you from falling straight onto the kitchen floor.
âjungwon, y/nây/n, jungwon. not sure if youâll remember tomorrow though,â jay said, earning chuckles from the other guys. jungwon simply shook his head, smile still evident on his face. he quickly joined in on the drinks, grabbing a cup and mixing up his own concoction.
you didnât even realize yunjin had disappeared until jake leaned in and asked if youâd seen her. somewhere in the background, you caught sunghoon mentioning her nameâsomething about chaewon, but it was fuzzy. the alcohol was definitely hitting you now, warmth spreading through your body, cheeks flushed, and eyes heavy-lidded.
eventually, you slipped away to get some air. the heat was unbearable, and the packed crowd and blaring music only made it worseâyou needed space.
you found an empty pool chair in the backyard and dropped into it with a heavy sigh, letting yourself sink back. a shadow cast over you, and as your eyes adjusted, there he wasâthe familiar hot blonde from earlier, âyou alright?â
âjust sleepy. and hot. really hot,â you whined, hands tugging at your bolero to pull it off. jungwon chuckled, crouching down beside you. âdo you wanna go home?â he asked with a tilt of his head.
so fucking cute.
yeah, it wasnât the alcohol.
ânot with you, pervert.â
jungwon swore his ears were on fire. his eyes widened so big they might as well pop out of their sockets. he cleared his throat, eyes unable to look at your sleepy figure any longer without feeling bashful, ân-not like that! i meant do you want me to drive you home? like, to your own house. and i leave you there. inside. alone. and i will go to my respective home.â
âoh! yes please,â you dragged on the last syllable, hands pressed against the cool fabric of the chair to push yourself into an upright position. âwhereâs jakey? he drove me. will he be mad?â your lower lip jutted outwards, a small pout on your face.
âi donât think heâll be mad. let me go ask him, okay? donât go anywhere,â jungwon patted your shoulder before standing, stepping back inside to find your best friend.
a few minutes later, the two boys came back outside to find you fast asleep. they exchanged knowing glances before jake spoke up, âare you cool with taking her back to her apartment? iâm helping sunoo try to wrestle heeseung out of his smelly party clothes and into his pajamas. plus, i still have no fucking clue where yunjin is,â the last part came out a bit strained, annoyance at his missing friend bubbling to the surface.
jungwon let out a soft chuckle, his hand coming up to slap jakeâs back. âyeah, iâll take her. just send me her address,â with that he approached you, dozed off and snoring just a little bit, and scooped you up in his arms. they walked out to his car, jake popping the passenger door open and helping him carefully ease you inside.
once you were secure, they closed the door and bid each other goodbye. jungwon hopped into the driverâs seat, turning on the car and setting the heater on low. once he got your address from jake, he clicked on the link and began the venture to your apartment. occasionally, he would glance over to check if you had woken up.
nothing.
your lips were slightly parted, head pressed up against the window as you slept peacefully. a grin made its way to his face, knowing youâd definitely face a nasty hangover tomorrow.
he pulled up to your apartment complex, parking his car before getting out to help you inside. when he reached to unbuckle you, you let out a sleepy whine. âcâmon, y/n, i need to get you home.â his words were soft, arms moving underneath your knees and back to pull you out. your eyes fluttered open, adjusting to the brighter lights of the street lamps.
âoh my god, hot guy. am i still dreaming?â your voice was barely above a whisper, eyes opening and closing at the slowest pace known to man. jungwon grinned, eyes trained on the path in front of him as he walked with you into your building. ânope, definitely not dreaming. hot guy is carrying you home.â
âi knew it. pervert..â
ânot like that!â
a few weeks after your first meeting, you two quickly became good friends. he began hanging out with the group more often, simply to see you.
he knew he couldâve just asked you to hang out alone, without prying eyes and teasing comments, but he was scared. it was obvious you were at the least attracted to him, hence the âhot guyâ nickname your friends still havenât let go of. when he finally mustered up the courage (courtesy of jay who threatened to ask you out if jungwon didnât grow the balls to do so himself) to pop the question, you happily agreed.
scoreâyou managed to bag hot guy.
three months later, you and jungwon had made your relationship official. not a single person in your friend group was surprised at the new relationship.
it just made sense. you were two halves of one whole.
you couldnât really pinpoint the exact moment it happenedâwhen the way you felt about him started shifting into something deeper, something a little heavier.
something more like love.
of course, you liked him. he wouldnât be your boyfriend otherwise, but your liking started to twist painfully in your chest, ready to explode at any given moment.
it wasnât sudden, more like a slow unravelingâbut there were signs.
the first time was when the two of you decided to spend the night in at his apartment. the sun had already set, the faint glow of city lights shining through the large windows. you were sat on his couch, scrolling away on your phone as he stood in the kitchen. he stared at the inside of his fridgeâmilk, a carton of eggs, a few sauce bottles, and a pack of soju.
âbabe, i think we should order in,â you looked up from your phone, catching a glimpse of his defeated expression before searching for the delivery app on your phone. âwe really should go to the store. we have⊠like, nothing.â
jungwon sat down on the couch beside you, his side pressed up against your own as he watched you browse through dinner options, âare you craving anything?â you questioned, your free hand landing on his leg to fidget with the extra pockets decorating his pants.
jungwon bit his lip, thinking quietly. âmaybe pizza? ooo, or chinese. we can get those noodles you likeâoh! or we can get wings? i heard about this crazy deal the other day from jakeâŠâ you watched silently as he rambled on, eyes sparkly and hands moving in an animated manner that made your heart squeeze painfully in adoration. he did that a lot.
jungwon, realizing you hadnât spoken, turned to face you. he blinked, his eyebrows furrowing cutely as you continued to watch him with a stupid little smile on your face, âwhat?â he quipped, starting to wonder if the hunger was starting to make you crazy. âis there something on my face?â
you shook your head, ânothing. youâre just cute.â
jungwon sat, stunned at your sudden compliment before he grinned, wide enough to make your own cheeks hurt just from looking at it. he threw his arms around you, peppering kisses on your face as you shouted in protest.
it was clear he thought the same thing about you, too.
the second time was when you went out to shop for groceries. yunjin had complained about the lack of snacks in the house, so you took the opportunity to drag jungwon along with you. he was very helpful, aside from when he would get distracted by every little thing that caught his attention.
âbabe, look,â you heard from behind you, turning your head to see what your boyfriend was preoccupied with this time. âturtle chips. do you think they taste like turtle?â
you raised an eyebrow at his sudden question, staring in amusement (and a little something that resembled reconsideration of your whole relationship) as he smelled the bag.
the outside of the bag.
strange guy.
âi think itâs just âcause of the mascot, won.â
âyou never know these days..â
you laughed as he tilted his head, lips pursed and brows lifted slightly before putting the bag down. he gently nudged to you the side with a bump of his hip, pushing the cart as you marched ahead.
he watched as you read off the grocery list, placing things into the cart. he sported a little smile, studying you with gentle eyes. being here with you, shopping for more snacks than real groceries, felt so domestic.
so natural.
it tugged a little at his heartstrings, warmth blooming in his chest.
it was in these quiet, everyday moments that he took the time to really admire you, picking apart the minor details that just made you so⊠you.
the way you chewed your lip when making decisions, the crease between your brows forming when you couldnât find whatever you were searching for, the way you blew your hair out of your face when a strand of it fell in front of your eyes.
his mind and his heart were so full of you, and he hoped that would never change.
âjungwon, are you even listening?â your voice pulled him out of his thoughts, shaking his head a little as if forgetting where he was. âum, yeah! definitely.â
you gave him a blank stare, one that he returned with a sheepish smile, âno⊠sorry?â
you let out a groan before turning around and sauntering off, stomping away like an angry child. he chased after you, the shopping cart bumping into one of the aisles with a loud crash that made you cringe.
âw-wait! babe, iâm listening! for real now!â
the third time was when you were all hanging out at sunoo and rikiâs apartment. everyone sat in a circle in the living room, an array of random snacks and drinks littered across the coffee table and floor. sunoo was in the middle of a very dramatic rendition of how he embarrassed himself in front of the group of freshmen he was in charge of during orientation week. laughter flooded the apartment, a feeling of peace settling into your body as you followed along with whatever he was talking about.
âi didnât even see him coming!â jake bursted into a fit of uncontrollable giggles, doubling over and collapsing into jungwonâs lap who was sat next to him, clapping his hands loudly. you swore you could see tears prick at the corner of his eyes from how hard he was cracking up.
you excused yourself to the bathroom, earning a little nod from your friends before they continued their extremely hilarious conversation. you took the time to clean yourself up, wiping away at the smudged mascara that appeared as a result of your evening with your friends.
a few minutes passed before you stepped out, turning off the lights with a soft click of the switch. as you made your way back, you paused in the hallway when you heard your name come out of your boyfriendâs mouth. you stood around the corner, listening in on their conversation.
âoh my god, it was so funny. y/n came out of her room with this HUGE blue wig on her head. i think i peed myself a little,â jungwon said, his hands moving in that animated manner as if to show just how big your wig was.
âhate to break it to you, but that was my idea. i told her a homer and marge couple costume would be cute. i wasnât wrong.â yunjin chimed in, failing to hold in the laugh that came spilling out. jungwon stood up suddenly, pointing an accusing finger at his friend, âSO IT WAS YOUR FAULT I HAD TO WEAR A BALD CAP!â
at this point everyone had laid across the floor, rolling over and slapping the person next to them in amusement. âat least y/n looked good! couldnât fit through the door though. head was too big,â you pressed your fingers to your lips at heeseungâs joke, trying your best not to reveal yourself from where you were hiding.
you remember the moment like it was yesterday. it was a fond one, a story you shared often with your friends.
jungwon rolled his eyes. he sat down with a loud sigh, turning his head with his eyes closed and arms crossed over his chest, âsheâs always pretty. but next time, sheâs getting the bald cap,â you smiled at his comment, leaning against the wall as you watched him fondly. when he opened his eyes, they locked with yours. they widened in surprise before he returned the smile, the dimple on his cheek that you loved kissing appearing with it.
you walked back over to your seat, squeezing yourself in between jungwon and riki, âi am never wearing a bald cap, thank you very much. thatâs all you. for the rest of your life. until you actually start going bald too. then, you wonât need one!â
âWHAT THE HELL?!â
you stared at the photobook in your hands, fingers tracing the edges of each polaroid that sat snugly between the pages. you made it a tradition to snap a photo every time you hung out, a way to preserve your memories forever in colored ink.
one from the party you first met at, another from the pool party you and yunjin hosted last summer, one from your camping trip, and othersâall of them serving as a reminder of the joy you experienced with jungwon and your friends from the past year.
you closed the book gently, the soft smile never leaving your face. the gentle hum of music played out of the speaker tucked into the corner of jungwonâs living room.
you heard itâthe first song he ever sent to you through text, a little âthis made me think of youâ message following shortly after. the apartment smelled like warm sugar and the lingering traces of his cologne, a scent you began to consider home.
jungwon was in the kitchen, probably making breakfast like he always did. he knew how you took your coffee by heart, never failing to wake you up with it each morning with a sleepy grin on his face. you placed the book next to your phone, lighting up with a notification from yunjin declaring yet another group hang out you simply could not afford to miss.
you stood up from the couch, your fluffy house slippers padding against the floor as you walked over to jungwon.
leaning against the kitchen island, you stared at his messy morning hair and broad back, clad in the loose t-shirt he woke up in. he turned around with a smile on his face, one that never failed to appear every time he saw you, âhi, angel. what were you up to?â
you returned the gesture, happily taking your favorite mug out of his hands, âi was just looking through our photos. we should buy more film soon, by the way.â jungwon hummed in response, hands moving to plate your food.
âwe can over the weekend,â he replied, sliding it in front of you before pressing a long kiss to your forehead. the smell of sweet, buttery pancakes and bacon filled your senses. you noticed the strawberries that were cut up into little hearts that sat neatly off to the side.
just how you liked them.
âiâm gonna go change. yunjin will actually skin me alive if weâre late again,â he grumbled before disappearing into his bedroom.
you watched him walk away, his golden locks bouncing with each step. you let out a quiet laugh, picking up your fork and digging in.
it wasnât difficult to understand, then.
somewhere along the way, âiâ started turning into âweâ.
his hand started to fit in yours like it was always meant to be there. your mornings were often spent together rather than separatelyâmuch to yunjinâs dismay, who swore he had completely stolen you away from her.
your chest ached, but not in a painful way. it was the kind of ache that comes with realizing youâre exactly where youâre supposed to beâright here with him by your side.
because he never said âi love youâ like it was something he owned. rather, he meant it like something you had builtâtogether.
jungwon didnât just love you.
he included you.
in his life, in every word he spoke, every story he shared, and every moment he lived.
you realized you liked yourself more when you were apart of somethingâsomething soft, but heavy with meaning and purpose.
something, or someone, like yang jungwon.
jungwon who turned âweâ into something more than just a simple word.
jungwon who loved you delicately, but still passionate in his own way, who assured you from the very beginning that he was all in.
he introduced you to a type of love that was soft and easy, but it was one that meant everything.
to put it simply, you liked yourself better when you were with him.
you always had, and you always will.
ây/n, have you seen my sweater? if riki took it again, i swear iâm about to go full jackie chan on that kid,â his voice called from down the hall, sharp and exasperated.
a sudden thud made you flinch, followed by a muffled yelp and the clatter of hangers shifting in his closet.
then, a beat laterâslightly winded, definitely bruised ego.
love never came easy. sometimes, it didnât come at all. and when it did, it slipped through your fingers before you even knew it was there. but in the quiet moments, the ones that felt small and went unnoticed, thatâs where love lingered. if you were lucky, it stayed. and maybe, that was all you could really ask for.
status. 0/7 complete
note: this short series was inspired by lauvâs songs, specifically the oneâs each drabble is named after. im cheesed to be writing this cuz i love his music (and also bc jungwon was playing it during his recent live and i started crashing out) SO THESE ARE MY ENHA x LAUV CRUMBS !!! theyâre supposed to be oneshots but if i get inspired to write a second part for any particular one, i will :-)
YANG JUNGWON â I LIKE ME BETTER. (in progress)
âđ synopsis. jungwonâs life feels a little calmer with you in it. from late night walks by the river to early morning whispers of âi love youâ, you begin to realize that you like this version of yourselfâthe one when youâre with himâa lot better.
LEE HEESEUNG â MEAN IT. (planned)
âđ synopsis. you never meant to fall in love with heeseung. âcasualâ was what you called it, but between hushed confessions and lingering touches, you started to think it was turning into something real. until it wasnât. doubt made its way into your heart, making you wonder if he ever meant any of it.
PARK JONGSEONG â KIDS ARE BORN STARS. (not started)
âđ synopsis. three years ago, you broke up with jayâwell, sort of. you never actually dated, but you were close. he wanted to pursue his dreams in starting a band and traveling the world and who were you to stop him? you remember it like it was yesterday. the two of you were 17 when he told you, âsomeday, iâm gonna be a really big starâ. you believed him.
SIM JAEYUN â POTENTIAL. (not started)
âđ synopsis. jake swore he would never fall for you, but how could he not? ânext-door-neighbors-since-birth-turned-best friendsâ: it was basically a set up from the beginning. the catch? you had a boyfriend. and jake couldnât stand him.
PARK SUNGHOON â CHASING FIRE. (not started)
âđ synopsis. sunghoon was careful, deliberateânever the type to settle, never the type to stay where he wasnât wanted. there was no point in wasting your time on someone who didnât want you the same way you did. so why the hell was he still holding onto you like losing you would hurt more than loving you ever did?
KIM SUNOO â FEELINGS. (not started)
âđ synopsis. sunoo always wore his heart on his sleeve. he had never been good at hiding how he felt, especially not with you. with stolen glances and shy smiles, all he wanted was for you to be honest with himâwith yourself. deep down he knew you felt it too. and if waiting meant someday you'd say it out loud, he'd wait forever.
NISHIMURA RIKI â SUPERHERO. (not started)
âđ synopsis. riki messed up. he knew that. you made him feel real, and that terrified him. so he ranâthe one thing he was always good at. you're gone, and heâs left with the echo of what you were, or what you could have been. and now, he has to deal with the feeling of missing you.
pairingâ .â .â .â college student!yang jungwon x college student!f.reader.
featuringâ .â .â .â all enhypen members, le sserafim yunjin, kazuha, and chaewon.
word countâ .â .â .â 11.445k
genreâ .â .â .â sfw, fluff, angst if you squint, kinda slow burn, college life, university life, slice of life, comedy (although i don't find myself funny), friendships, relationships, and the cat distribution system. (it has chosen you and gave you two lovely cats.)
warningsâ .â .â .â SUGGESTIVE, drinking alcohol, parties, mentions of bars, getting drunk (obviously), misunderstandings, jealousy, denial (jungwon is in denial), cowardice behavior (jungwon is still a bit of a coward), lots of flirting and tension, teasing, lots of planning and scheming, kissing, skinship, mentions of surgery, mentions of cat sickness/illness/disease, reader (aka us) is very delusional and does a lot of overthinking. lowercase letters intended. proofread. tell me if i'm missing anything.
mĂŠw's notesâ .â .â .â hi guys, part seven is finally up! i hope you guys enjoy itâweâre getting close to the end of tcds! we're finally at the suggetive parts of the fanfiction! thank you so much for your love and support!
iâm also gonna apologize. you guys obviously don't know why iâm apologizing, you'll find out soon.
also, this is jungwon's outfit inspiration.
libraryâ .â .â .â part one. part two. part three. part four. part five. part six.
#â OO8â :â STAY HERE AFTER HOURS.
you were now nestled into your solo couch, your posture straight yet your mind anything but composed. internally, you were trying to find the perfect words to explain yourself. meanwhile, across from you, your three friends sat like a panel of judges, each one silently interrogating you with their eyesâsharp, knowing, unyielding.
you didnât meet their gaze. not because you felt guilty. no, of course not. definitely not. you simply⊠couldnât multitask. yes, that was it. (a lie, and a feeble one at that.)
you glanced up eventually, only to find them with arms folded tightly across their chests and legs crossed in synchronized judgment. it was the kind of stance that screamed: start talking.
you inhaled deeply, as if pulling courage straight from your lungs, and began.
âokay⊠so you guys already know that after thatâuhâbalcony incident with jungwon, we werenât talking, right?â you paused for a beat. âbut⊠yami still visited me.â
at the mention of the fluffy calico, their expressions softened by a degree. of course they remembered yami. she had become a sort of unofficial fifth member in your friend group. they nodded, prompting you to continue.
âso, one evening,â you said, fingers fidgeting against the edge of your seat, âyami came over like she usually does, but something felt⊠off. i called her, but she didnât come to me like she usually would. no meows, no slow little strut. she just lay there.â
the room fell still.
âwhen i got closer to her,â you continued, voice quieting with the weight of memory, âi realized she wasnât just resting. she was weak. really weak. and then⊠she vomited.â
the collective irritation that had once lingered on your friendsâ faces immediately gave way to worry. their arms dropped, eyes wide now with concern.
you nodded gently, understanding their reaction.
âi didnât know what else to do. i couldnât just sit there. so⊠i ran to jungwonâs apartment and called him,â you said, looking down at your hands. âwe brought her to the veterinary hospital together.â
you explained how the vet diagnosed yami with closed pyometra, and as you gave them a simplified explanation of the conditionâhow dangerous and life-threatening it could be if left untreatedâthey listened intently, brows furrowed with concern.
âshe needed immediate surgery,â you said softly. âwhile we waited, jungwon noticed that iâd come barefoot⊠i didnât even realize. i was too panicked. he then suddenly kneeled in front of me and wiped my feet clean with a tissueâso gentlyâand helped me put on these hospital slippers he got by asking the hospital receptionist.â
you paused for a second, the memory of that moment still vivid, still warm.
âand then i just⊠broke down,â you admitted. âright there in the waiting room. and he didnât hesitate. he held me. comforted me. and i started to think maybe⊠maybe heâs not a jerk. maybe he did what he did back then because thereâs something inside him he hasnât figured out yet. or something heâs afraid to admit.â
you dared a glance at your friends and caught the slight curve at the corners of their lips. they were trying not to smile. trying very, very hard. but the pink rising on your cheeks was definitely not helping your case.
you cleared your throat and pressed on.
âafter yamiâs surgery,â you said, voice lowering, âhe apologized. like⊠really apologized. he asked to be my friend again and said he missed me.â
you might as well have set off fireworks with that sentence. your friends didn't say a word, but the room was buzzing with unspoken squeals and suppressed teasing. the kind that only best friends could master.
you shook your head with a shy laugh, covering your face briefly.
âanyway,â you continued, bringing it to a close, âafter she was discharged, i kept helping him. mostly because i still felt responsibleâi mean, she collapsed in my apartment. so whenever he had classes and i didnât, iâd go over and look after her.â
the room fell into a contemplative hush.
you had told them everything. no lies. no embellishments. just truth wrapped in awkward emotions and soft memories. you werenât sure if they were going to jump to forgiveness just yet, but you had laid everything bare. and somehow, it felt⊠a little lighter.
now all you could do was waitâfor their verdict, their sarcasm, or maybe their unexpected grace.
the silence that followed was heavy but not hostileâmore like the calm after a storm, when the sky is still processing what just passed. your friends sat there, slowly nodding, their minds clearly working through every detail youâd just poured out to them.
then, almost in unison, all three of them exhaled a long, synchronized sigh and turned their gazes toward you.
âokay,â yunjin said, her brows raised, tone gentle but inquisitive. âwe get it now⊠but why didnât you just tell us?â
you glanced down at your hands, suddenly fascinated by the way your fingers fidgeted with the hem of your shirt. your lips pouted on instinct. âi didnât know how you guys would react,â you murmured. âi was scared you guys would get mad at me.â
they looked at you with a mixture of exasperation and fondness, shaking their heads as if you were a toddler whoâd just confessed to sneaking cookies before dinner.
âif you just explained it to us from the start,â chaewon said, her head tilting in that sweet, knowing way of hers, âwe wouldâve absolutely understood.â
âi know,â you sighed, your pout deepening, âiâm really sorry, guys.â
âwell,â kazuha chimed in, arms crossed like a bodyguard taking notes, âyou two can be friends, sure⊠but if he hurts you again, iâm not above pulling a full john wick on him.â
you nodded solemnly, trying not to laugh. âhe promised he wouldnât. and actually⊠i found something out.â
you didnât mean to sound mysterious, but your voice dipped into a whisper by the endâand naturally, your friends pounced like cats catching the scent of drama.
âwhat did you find out?â chaewon leaned forward, narrowing her eyes as they all noticed the very obvious blush now blooming across your cheeks.
you hesitated, only for a second, before confessing.
âso earlier, when i stopped by his apartment again⊠i kind of⊠accidentally overheard him talking to yami.â
âwaitâlike a cat therapist session?â yunjin asked, eyes wide in amused disbelief.
âyes,â you nodded, biting back a smile. âhe was talking to her like she was his emotional support animal. which, in fairness, she kind of is.â
they leaned in even more, sensing the good part was about to begin.
âhe was telling her about his feelings for me,â you said softly. âhow confused he was about when they started but that he knew they were serious. he said that being around me made him feel⊠like he wanted to protect me. like i belonged in his life.â
there was a beat of silence before your friends exploded into delighted squeals, all restraint now officially out the window. they were blushing and bouncing in their seats, hands gripping your shoulders as if you might float away from the weight of their giddy joy.
âhe even said he loved all the little things,â you added, smiling bashfully. âthe lunch boxes, the post-its and reminders about yami's medicine, the way i take care of yamiâŠâ
âstop it right now or i might cry,â chaewon groaned, fanning her face dramatically.
âthis is better than any drama weâve ever watched,â yunjin whispered, looking genuinely moved.
âhe said he didnât want to lose me anymore,â you went on, âand that he wants me to be a part of his life for a long time.â
âugh, marry him already,â kazuha grinned, practically vibrating from secondhand butterflies.
but just as the atmosphere turned dreamy and rose-colored, you hit them with the twist.
âbutâŠâ you said, dragging the word out with a sigh, âhe also said heâs scared to confess. that i might not feel the same⊠or that i still hate him after what happened between us.â
their dreamy smiles instantly dropped into disappointed groans.
âseriously?â kazuha huffed. âhe had us in the first half, not gonna lie.â
âjust when i thought he had finally unlocked his main character energy,â yunjin muttered, shaking her head like a disapproving mother.
âhe really folded at the finish line,â chaewon clicked her tongue. âtypical.â
the three of them sat back, arms crossed, lips pursed like a council of judges who were now reviewing jungwonâs romantic application with a more critical eye.
you could only smile, cheeks still flushed, heart still flutteringâand now with your friends on your side, fully and completely.
âbut you did say he already knows what heâs feeling, right?â yunjin asked, arching a brow as her gaze landed squarely on you.
you nodded, a bit sheepishly. âyeah⊠he said it out loud to yami.â
âthen he just needs a little push,â she replied, her lips curving into a sly smile that instantly put everyone on alert.
you and the others turned to her, your expressions equal parts intrigued and suspiciousâbecause when yunjin smiled like that, it usually meant someone was about to be dramatically emotionally compromised.
âwhat kind of push?â chaewon asked cautiously, squinting as if trying to read the fine print of a very dangerous contract.
instead of answering, yunjin slowly shifted her gaze toward chaewon and kazuha, who both immediately groaned in unison like they already know what's going to happen. they covered their faces with their hands, already bracing themselves for whatever insanity yunjin was about to drag them into.
you blinked, watching the exchange with mild confusion⊠until you glanced at yunjin, and she gave you that same smile. the one that said, âyouâre not getting out of this either, babe.â
and thatâs when it clicked.
the first part of the plan was a job only chaewon and kazuha could handle.
you inhaled sharply through your nose, a laugh threatening to spill. oh, this was about to be ridiculous.
âdo you still need to be there for yami?â yunjin asked then, her voice slipping back into casual concern. âor is she mostly healed now?â
âmostly healed,â you said with a small nod. âiâve just been dropping by their place to check on her. weâre not letting her go out to the balcony yet, just in case⊠better safe than sorry.â
they all nodded, understanding the quiet worry in your voice. even if she was better, yamiâs sudden collapse had left a markâa reminder of how quickly things could shift.
âperfect,â yunjin declared, clapping her hands once in triumph. âoperation push jungwon to his limits and make him confess begins tomorrow. tell jungwon youâre busy, and donât even think about mentioning that we know anything. act normalâsuspiciously normal.â
the grin that followed was pure mischief. she looked like a villain in a drama who just got handed the perfect backstory for redemption.
you sighed, already exhausted by the mere idea of what tomorrow would bring. it was going to be a long day. but, you thought, as your friends began discussing their âbattle planâ like generals preparing for warâit was also going to be kind of fun.
the next day arrived much faster than you'd hoped, and with it came a heavy flutter of nerves in your chest. yunjinâs plan, which had sounded bold and mischievous under the forgiving light of last nightâs excitement, now felt realâterrifyingly realâin the sharp glare of morning.
you were finally going to meet jungwonâs full circle of friends face to face. you'd known who they were, seen them across the courtyard or in passing on campus, but outside of heeseung and jayâwho shared the same club as you, albeit a little tensely since the incidentâyou hadn't really interacted with any of them that much besides that day at the library.
today would be your official introduction. not just as a name theyâve heard from a distance, or the girl jungwon talks about all the time and used to ignoreâbut as you. the very real and authentic version of yourself.
you kept glancing down at your watch between lectures, your pulse speeding up with every tick. anxiety danced with excitement in your chest, and your legs practically itched to sprint the moment the professor so much as hinted at class dismissal.
the second you were free, you swept your things into your bag without any regard for order and rushed out of the classroom, already pulling out your phone to text him.
you:
hey! i wonât be able to come by today. iâve got something to take care of.
iâll check in on you and yami tomorrow instead!
his reply came almost instantly, as if heâd been waiting.
he even attached a gif of a very sad, very dramatic cat curling into a blanket. it made you snort softly in the hallway, drawing a few confused stares you were far too amused to care about.
you:
thank you! tell her i said i love her. đœ
you didnât wait for another replyâyou were already out the door.
âour main character has arrived!â she announced with dramatic flair, throwing her arm out toward you as if she were introducing royalty.
instantly, every pair of eyes turned to you.
your breath caught for half a second as a blush spread across your cheeks. you walked quickly to the table and gave yunjin a gentle smack on the arm before slipping into the seat beside her. âstop it,â you whispered under your breath, cheeks still warm.
you then started to greet everyone and your greeting was met with easy smiles and cheerful hellos from the group. surprisingly warm ones, actually. sunoo even gave you a tiny wave with his fingers still looped around chaewonâs arm.
the first few minutes were light and easy. introductions flowed naturallyâname, age, course, random factsâand the tension youâd been so worried about gradually melted into something almost comfortable. they were a lot less intimidating than youâd expected. chaotic, yes. loud, definitely. but kind.
after a while, yunjin clapped her hands once, her eyes glinting with something suspiciously close to drama.
âalright,â she said, her voice slicing through the chatter like a conductor calling for silence, ânow that weâre all friends here⊠letâs get to the good part.â
âwe just found out something rather interesting from our dear friend here,â yunjin said, her voice laced with playful mischief as she turned to face you with a knowing smirk. âcare to share it with the class, y/n?â
all eyes shifted to you.
you could feel the weight of their attention settle across your shoulders like a velvet curtain being drawn back onstage. you sat up a little straighter, cleared your throat, and offered them a small, tentative smile.
âsoâŠâ you began, voice wavering slightly. âme and jungwon⊠weâre friends again.â
for a heartbeat, silence clung to the air like a held breathâthen it shattered all at once.
âwhat?!â sunoo nearly shouted, releasing chaewonâs arm and leaning so far across the table you thought he might topple into your lap. his wide, incredulous eyes locked onto yours like youâd just told him the moon had fallen out of orbit.
you nodded, lips pressed into a sheepish line.
jungwonâs entire friend group reacted like a storm had passed through. some blinked in stunned disbelief. others exchanged glances, their expressions flickering between pleasantly surprised and thoroughly betrayed. apparently, none of them had been clued inâand judging by their reactions, they had not expected their famously emotionally constipated friend to suddenly mend the broken bridge between the two of you.
âdonât worry,â kazuha chimed in casually, sipping her drink like she was talking about the weather. âshe didnât tell us either. we literally caught her running out of jungwonâs apartment last night.â
chaos.
you mightâve laughed at the expressions around the table if you werenât so mortified. jaws dropped. eyebrows flew up. and sunoo, especially, looked as if someone had just canceled his birthday.
they werenât angryânot really. more like⊠betrayed, in a melodramatic, overly-invested-in-their-friendâs-love-life kind of way. the kind of betrayal that came from genuinely caring.
âhe invited you to his apartment and didnât even say a word?â sunoo whispered like it was a national scandal, clutching at his chest.
you almost wanted to apologize to him.
before anyone could spiral further, yunjin leaned forward again, her grin widening. âthatâs not even the best part.â
you turned to her, already knowing what she meant. she didnât have to say anything else. with a sigh of surrender, you nodded and addressed the table once more, this time with a touch more courage.
âso the reason i was running out of his apartment,â you began carefully, âwas because i⊠kind of overheard something.â
you could feel the anticipation thickening around you, the way clouds gather before a storm.
âjungwon was in his room, talking to yami,â you explained, glancing briefly at sunoo, whose eyes widened even further. âand i didnât mean to eavesdrop, really. iâd come back after finally sending my friends away, thinking theyâd go home but they obviously didn't..â
chaewon and kazuha both nodded solemnly, the image of your frantic escape from jungwon's apartment still clearly fresh in their minds.
âbut i heard him. he was talking to her like she was his little therapist,â you said, a fond smile curling at your lips. âand he⊠he said some things.â
you hesitated, cheeks warming.
âhe talked about me. about us. he told her he wasnât sure when exactly his feelings started, but that theyâre real. he said he treasured the time we spent together, and⊠that he doesnât want to lose me again.â
a hush fell over the table.
sunoo looked seconds away from crying, or screamingâor both. riki was slack-jawed. jay and heeseung exchanged stunned, quietly amused glances. while jake and sunghoon just blinked as they process what you just revealed.
âhe even said,â you added softly, âthat heâs scared to tell me how he feels. because he thinks⊠maybe i donât like him back. or maybe i still hate him.â
sunoo let out a groan that could probably be heard from space.
âthis man,â kazuha muttered, shaking her head. âjust when we thought he was growing a spine.â
yunjin, though, was already getting down to business.
âexactly why we called you all here,â she said, clapping her hands as if to rally a squad. âhe clearly knows how he feels. heâs just afraid to pull the trigger.â
she looked around the table, the strategist in her emerging with gleaming eyes. âand thatâs where you guys come in.â
âyou guys know jungwon better than anyone,â chaewon added, resting her chin on her hand. âdo you have any ideas on how to finally get him to confess?â
there was a pauseâjust long enough for everyone to exchange a glance.
the plan was deceptively simple: do somethingâanythingâto catch jungwonâs attention and make him think you guys have a lot in common. but if he remained tragically oblivious or did not make a first move, then it was back to the drawing board, where your self-appointed love strategists would cook up something even bolder.
the first mission? color theory.
according to sunoo, jungwon had an odd but adorable preference for certain colorsâspecifically, blue and orange. something about the contrast, he said once, made things feel âalive.â
and so, like a secret agent with a romantic agenda, you began to subtly incorporate those shades into your outfits whenever you stopped by his apartment. soft blues, dusky oranges, a careful balance between effort and nonchalance.
the first day you tried it, you wore a pale blue hoodie. comfortable, oversized, with sleeves that almost swallowed your hands. it wasnât exactly dramatic, but it did the trick.
jungwon opened the door, expecting the usual casual drop-in, but the moment his eyes landed on you, he pausedâhis gaze lingering.
his expression flickered from confusion to curiosity to something fond and unspoken.
you pretended not to notice.
as if on cue, yami trotted into the living room with a delighted meow, her fluffy tail high as she greeted you like royalty. you moved to the couch and sat down, letting her claim your lap as her rightful throne. she curled up there contentedly, purring like a tiny motor.
jungwon, still oddly quiet, sat beside youânot too close, but closer than usual. his eyes kept darting to your hoodie. you could feel the stare, like a gentle poke to your side that begged to be acknowledged.
finally, you gave in. you turned to him, head tilted slightly, the universal expression for âwhat?â
he blinked, caught. his hand rose to scratch the back of his neckâhis telltale nervous habitâbefore he spoke.
âthat hoodie looks good on you. blue suits you,â he said, eyes dipping briefly to the fabric before glancing away again. âi think i have the exact same hoodie.â
his voice was casual, but you noticed the faint blush blooming across his cheeks. subtle. sweet.
âreally?â you asked, eyes lighting up with faux surprise. âcan i see it?â
he froze for half a second, as if youâd just asked to see his childhood diary. but then he nodded, disappearing into his room with a bit more urgency than expected.
you waited, smiling to yourself, still absentmindedly petting yami as she purred in your lap. a few minutes later, jungwon returned, holding a hoodie that looked completely identical to yours.
same shade of light blue. same brand. same design. even the same texture.
âtwins,â you said with a grin, reaching out to brush your fingers along the fabric before handing it back to him. âwhy donât you wear it, too? we can match.â
his eyes widened a fraction. âlike⊠couple hoodies?â
you shrugged, playful. âif thatâs what you want to call it.â
his blush deepened, but he didnât argue. with a quick nod, he retreated back into his roomâand emerged a moment later wearing the hoodie.
it fit him perfectly, the soft color making him look even softer somehow. he sat back down beside you, a little more relaxed now, like heâd slipped into something familiar and comforting. you looked at the two of youâside by side, almost completely identical besides the sizeâand you couldnât help but smile.
you looked like a pair.
this plan has been going on for a week now. every day, without fail, you showed up at jungwonâs apartment clad in soft blues and burnt orangesâthe very colors he subconsciously adored. and every day, like clockwork, heâd compliment your outfit with a shy smile and, more often than not, disappear into his room only to return wearing something that matched. a hoodie. a t-shirt. once, even socks.
you were like a walking color palette curated just for him.
it was sweet, yes. flattering, even. but also... painfully stagnant.
because that was it.
no sudden confessions. no heart-stopping declarations. just matching clothes and stolen glances.
so naturally, after another fruitless day of wearing his favorite shades, you texted the group chatâthe now highly classified collaboration between your friend group and jungwonâs.
you:
operation: get this oblivious man to confess.
status: failed. again.
i repeat: we are not making progress. new plan. urgently needed.
and just like that, it was back to the drawing board.
over the course of the next few weeks, the plans escalated from mildly clever to questionably elaborate. it became a symphony of his favorite things: favorite colors, favorite foods, favorite bands, favorite music, favorite movie genresâeven a casual detour to his favorite ramen place âby coincidence.â
jungwon, blissfully unaware of the scheming, simply marveled at how much the two of you seemed to have in common.
he thought it was fate. you knew it was group chat coordination and a spreadsheet titled âjungwon's weaknesses.â
but he was happy. so, in a way, you were too.he treasured every moment with you and yami, finding comfort in your growing presence in his life. for him, this was enoughâfor now.
but your friends? his friends?
absolutely not.
currently, you were all crammed into the modest but cozy dorm shared by yunjin, kazuha, and chaewon. it had officially become mission controlâyour war room, your crisis center, your love-struck headquarters.
the scene was... tragic.
a few of them were sprawled across the carpet like theyâd lost the will to live, eyes fixed on the ceiling as if the answer to all your problems might magically appear there. others were aimlessly scrolling through their phones, munching on chips with the empty gaze of strategists defeated by romance.
the silence dragged until sunoo suddenly shot upright, flailing his arms in sheer exasperation.
âwhy wonât he do anything?! itâs been a months!â he wailed, as if the heavens themselves had betrayed him.
he collapsed back dramatically, burying his face in a pillow, still muttering indignantly. âone. whole. month. and not even a hint of a love confession. heâs killing me. i am being emotionally murdered by my best friend.â
the rest of the room groaned in agreement.
chaewon looked like she was considering faking a faint just to escape the stress. jay was lying face-down on the floor like a corpse. riki was balancing a cookie on his nose. kazuha was aggressively munching on chips while nodding solemnly.
âitâs starting to feel like weâre trying to romance him,â jake muttered from the corner. âweâve done everything but write him a love letter ourselves.â
âdonât tempt me,â yunjin said, half-joking, half-not. âiâll forge y/nâs handwriting and do it.â
you sighed, flopping onto the nearest cushion. âheâs just⊠happy spending time with me. like thatâs enough for him.â
sunghoon raised a brow. âand for you?â
you hesitated. âi also love hanging out with him but⊠itâs not enough for me.â
the silence that followed was understanding. not pitying. just quiet solidarity, like everyone collectively exhaled the weight of your mutual frustration.
because love, even the most obvious kind, still needed a push sometimes.
a collective sigh swept across the room. your friends looked utterly defeated, heads thrown back, lips pressed into thin lines, while jungwonâs friends resembled mourners at the funeral of common senseâgrieving the tragic loss of their best friendâs ability to take a hint.
riki, who had been quietly munching on snacks moments earlier, now rested his head against kazuhaâs shoulder with the solemn energy of a small, heartbroken puppy.
âi just wish heâd be honest with himself for once,â he mumbled, eyes fixed on the floor. âlike, just say whatever heâs thinking out loud. even if itâs dumb. especially if itâs dumb.â
sunoo, still pouting like a betrayed rom-com sidekick, nodded in agreement. âright? like that one time whenââ
his words abruptly halted mid-sentence, as if someone had hit pause on his train of thought. his eyes slowly widened, shifting to rikiâwho, in perfect sync, blinked back at him.
click.
you could almost hear the spark of realization zip between them like a cartoon lightbulb flickering to life. something had clicked. hard.
and suddenly, without warning, the once hopeless energy in the room transformed. it was subtle at firstâthe way riki sat up straighter, the way sunooâs pout curled into a knowing smirkâbut it sent a ripple through everyone.
your group looked around in confusion, collectively sensing the shift but too lost to decode it.
âuh... what just happened?â you asked, brows furrowed.
jungwonâs friends, now spring-loaded with new energy, were already standing up and grabbing their bags like a SWAT team mobilizing.
ânothing, nothing. you donât have to worry,â sunoo said with an excessively sweet smile that immediately made you more worried. âweâll handle jungwon, okay?â
you, yunjin, kazuha, and chaewon could only stare as the six boysâsunoo, riki, jake, sunghoon, jay, and heeseungâswiftly gathered their belongings with an almost eerie efficiency.
kazuha raised an eyebrow. âyou guys have a new plan or something?â
riki turned as the group reached the door, a mischievous glint in his eyes. âyep. and donât stress. just be ready, because he might start talking tomorrow.â
and with that cryptic farewell, he chuckled and gave a casual wave before they all slipped out into the hallway, disappearing down the corridor like they were on a secret mission.
you and the girls stood frozen at the door for a few lingering seconds before slowly closing it and returning to the couch.
ânow iâm scared for jungwon,â kazuha said plainly as she collapsed onto the couch, arms flopping like a tired starfish.
you followed suit, dropping beside her. âsame. what are they even planning?â
âwho knows,â yunjin murmured.
chaewon leaned her head back, eyes closed. ânah, sunoo could never hurt a fly.â
kazuha looked up from where she had been checking her phone and said calmly, âyeah, but his friends arenât flies. theyâre very much human.â
chaewon blinked at her, processing that for a full second before sighing and muttering a quiet curse under her breath. âwhy is she right.â
you pulled a pillow into your lap, hugging it as you stared at the ceiling. something told you that tomorrow was going to be interestingâmaybe even historic.
whatever jungwonâs friends had planned, it was likely to be dramatic, probably borderline absurd, and definitely chaotic.
but what if it finally made him speak up?
then you were ready.or⊠at least, you hoped you were.
tomorrow was coming. and with it, possibly, jungwonâs long-awaited confession.
finally?
the next day arrived like a reluctant sighâslow, inevitable, and accompanied by the low thrum of resistance humming in jungwonâs chest.
he stood in his apartment, tugging down the hem of his cardigan with a subtle frown, not quite in the mood to go out. but after weeks of dodging his friendsâ invitations with careful excuses and polite declines, he had finally run out of ways to say no.
theyâd been patient. understanding, evenâespecially after everything that happened with yami. but now that she was nearly fully healed and walking around the apartment like the tiny empress she was, they were expecting jungwon to finally hang out with them.
sunoo, in particular, had taken it personally. heâd pouted dramatically over the phone, threatening their friendship in a tone that was half-joking, half-serious. âif you donât come out tonight, iâm cutting you off. this is the final straw, jungwon. friendshipâterminated.â
jungwon rolled his eyes at the memory, though a smile tugged at the corners of his lips. how could he explain that the reason he kept staying home wasnât because he was still worrying about yamiâbut because he wanted to be with you?
of course, it wasnât something he could admit. not to them, and definitely not to you. not yet.
he glanced at the mirror, smoothing down his light grey zip-up cardigan. the fabric was soft, the kind that almost whispered luxury without trying too hard. he left the zipper partially undone, revealing a bit of the necklineâjust enough to look effortless. his sleeves were pushed up carelessly to his forearms, revealing the delicate structure of his wrists and a single, subtle bracelet that gleamed quietly under the light.
his trousers were dark and wide-legged, the tailored fabric falling in elegant folds to his shoes. the contrast of light and shadow in his outfit gave him a clean, poised silhouette that felt both casual and refined.
he looked⊠good.
not that it mattered. they were just going out for drinksâmaybe some bar hopping. nothing serious. nothing that required him to look this put together. and yet, here he was.
he picked up his phone and quickly tapped out a message.
jungwon (yami's dad):
can you stay with yami tonight?
going out w the guys. donât know how long iâll be.
you replied almost instantly, enthusiastically even.
you:
ofc! đș
moments later, you were at his door.
after knocking softly, you typed in the familiar passcode and stepped insideâonly to pause mid-step when jungwon walked out of his room.
your breath caught in your throat.
he looked good, so good.
well, he looks good all the time but this was different.
it's the kind of good that made your brain momentarily glitch. the cardigan, the trousers, the sleeves, the slightly tousled hair that looked like it was styled without trying (but definitely was)... he looked like someone who should be stepping out of a commercial, not his apartment.
he noticed your staring.
with a teasing smile, he rolled up his sleeves again, this time slowly and deliberately, as if to say, âis this what got you flustered?â
you tried to recover quickly, straightening your posture and pretending not to be affected, even as your cheeks burned with the telltale warmth of a silent blush.
he stopped just in front of you and leaned in slightly, the scent of his cologne brushing against your sensesâclean, subtle, comforting.
âiâll be heading out now,â he said, voice soft, eyes flicking toward your forehead as if contemplating something. for a split second, he looked like he might lean forward⊠like he might kiss your forehead.
but instead, his hand lifted, and he gently patted your head.
your heart dropped in confusion and rose again in flustered disbelief.
âi donât know when iâll be back, so donât wait up,â he added with a little smile.
you blinked. still stunned. the only word that managed to escape your lips was a quiet, âokay.â
he laughed softly at your dazed state before turning toward the door.
you and yami followed him to the door, watching as he slipped into his shoes and cracked the door open.
and just as he was about to step out, he paused.
he turned his head and saw the two of you still standing there.
the scene was oddly domestic. cozy. familiar in a way he hadnât expected. like you were walking him out the door⊠like the two of you had been married and living together for years. (delusional)
like this was normal.
the thought made his heart stutter.
he almost stepped back inside. almost said something.
but his phone rang, sharp and abrupt.
sunoo.
with a quiet sigh, jungwon gave one final wave, the blush now clearly blooming across his cheeks, and walked out the door, answering the call.
âyeah, yeah, iâm on my wayâcalm down,â he muttered, the door shutting softly behind him.
you stood there in the silence, yami weaving around your ankles as if she too sensed that something important had just almost happened.
and maybe it had.
maybe tonight⊠would finally be the beginning of everything youâd both been waiting for.
you knew something was up the moment jungwon asked you to stay with yami. not just because he rarely left her side, but because of last nightâs secretive energy back at yunjin, kazuha, and chaewonâs dormâyour shared war room for scheming, planning, and borderline conspiracy.
riki had said it so confidently. âjust be ready,â heâd told you with a sly smile, practically radiating mischief. âbecause he might start talking tomorrow.â
well, today was tomorrow. and while you knew the plan was already in motion, you were still utterly in the dark about what it actually was. they had refused to say a word more, acting like members of a high-level government operation sworn to secrecy.
meanwhile, outside the apartment building, jungwon had just stepped into the cool dusk air when a sleek dark gray SUV rolled up to the curb like a scene from a low-budget spy movie. the tinted windows hummed down slowly, revealing a familiar face in the front passenger seatâheeseung, grinning like he was up to something illegal along with jay behind the wheel.
jungwon blinked.
at the second row, sunoo and riki were already squished together, waving like kids on a roller coaster. in the very back, jake and sunghoon gave exaggerated thumbs-ups, clearly delighted with themselves.
âget in, loser. weâre rekindling our friendship,â sunoo announced gleefully, leaning out of the window just enough to sound threateningly persuasive.
jungwon laughed under his breath. âwere they always this dramatic?â he shook his head, climbed into the SUV, and settled beside sunooâwho immediately looped his arm through jungwonâs like they were about to skip through a field of daisies together.
âfinally!â sunoo beamed. âyouâre actually hanging out with us again. this is a monumental day. weâre gonna have the best night of our lives. youâre not allowed to escape.â
jungwon chuckled, amused but slightly wary. the energy in the car was way too high for a simple night out. it was⊠suspicious. very suspicious. but also, a little endearing.
âyou guys missed me that much, huh?â he teased, and sunghoon dramatically clutched his chest from the back row.
âmore than oxygen,â jake added solemnly.
the drive to the bar was filled with chaotic laughter, bad singing, and increasingly ridiculous stories that may or may not have been fabricated. jungwon smiled, enjoying the momentâgenuinely glad to be with them again. maybe he had been too withdrawn lately.
once they reached their destination, jay parked the car and the group prepared to face the bouncer. they lined up, IDs in hand, expecting to be scrutinized for every facial hair and birth year.
but the bouncer? he barely glanced at them before stepping aside with an indifferent nod.
they hadnât even spoken.
âdid we⊠just pass the vibe check without trying?â riki whispered, impressed.
âwe must've looked mature,â jay muttered proudly, fixing the collar of his shirt.
inside, the bar greeted them with pulsing lights, music so loud it practically rearranged their organs, and a potent mix of alcohol, cologne, and lingering vape clouds that clung to the air like fog in a neon forest.
sunoo, ever the planner, had already reserved a tableâfar enough from the speakers to allow conversation, but still close enough to soak in the lively atmosphere. the table was tucked neatly into a corner, giving them a small bubble of privacy amidst the chaos.
menus were passed around, drinks were ordered, and conversations blossomed with the kind of ease that only long-time friends could afford. the night was young, the energy was high, and jungwon, blissfully unaware, had no idea what storm his friends were brewing around him.
meanwhile, you sat on the other side of the city, curled up on his couch, still unaware of the detailsâbut knowing full well that something was about to go down. and unlike jungwon, at least you had the comfort of knowing.
because while jungwon was sipping his drink in clueless contentment, you were bracing yourself.
for what exactly, you didnât know.
but you had a feeling the night would end with something unforgettableâfor both of you.
you had every intention of staying up for jungwon.
even though he had told you not to wait, had patted your head with that soft smile and said, âdonât wait up,â like it was a gentle command. but something about his absence made the apartment feel a little too quiet, too still. and you were curiousânervous, even. wondering what his friends had schemed, wondering how he was doing, wondering if he'd come back different.
but in the end, sleep had other plans. you had dozed off on the couch, curled beneath a light blanket, with yami snuggled against your hip like a tiny, living heater. the soft rhythm of her breathing, the faint hum of the apartment, and the warmth of the room all pulled you under before you could even fight it.
hours passed unnoticed.
until the doorbell rang.
you groaned softly, peeling your eyes open as if the weight of sleep clung to your lashes. your limbs felt sluggish, your mind still lost in that foggy space between dreams and reality.
the bell rang again.
you sat up in a daze, suddenly struck by the realization: this isn't your apartment.
your eyes widened as you looked around the familiar space. jungwonâs apartment. which meantâthat might be him at the door.
but why wasnât he using the password?
confused and still slightly disoriented, you stumbled toward the door, blinking the sleep from your eyes, and pulled it open.
and there he was.
jungwon.
he stood swaying gently, looking far too relaxed for someone upright. his cardigan was rumpled, and his smileâoh, his smileâwas crooked, lazy, too wide for his own face. he looked like someone who had just made friends with the moon.
on either side of him, like glorified babysitters, stood sunoo and riki. each of them had one of jungwonâs arms slung over their shoulders, holding him up like he was made of spaghetti noodles and poor choices.
you blinked. slowly. âwhat... is this?â
sunooâs expression was bright and unbothered, like this was all part of a perfectly ordinary evening. âheâs all yours now,â he chirped, not even attempting to hide the amusement dancing in his eyes.
riki gave you a grin, half mischief, half solidarity. âgood luck. he gets clingy.â
before you could protest, they helped jungwon inside with theatrical care and let the door close softly behind them.
and just like that, you were alone.
alone with jungwonâs dazed laughter echoing through the room, and yami blinking at him like he had brought chaos home in a cardigan.
he flopped onto the couch with a dramatic exhale, arms spread like he was melting into it. his hair was tousled, the kind of perfect mess that looked like it belonged in a drama scene. a few strands had fallen over his eyes, but he didnât seem to notice. or care.
you stood there for a moment, arms crossed, staring down at him like he was both the problem and the puzzle.
you werenât sure whether to scold him for coming home like this or wrap him up in a blanket burrito and protect him from the world.
you chose the latter.
softening, you walked to the kitchen, filled a glass of water, and crouched beside the couch. âhere,â you said quietly, holding it out to him.
jungwon blinked at you like you were a dream he wasnât quite sure he deserved. his fingers curled around the glass clumsily, and he took a few slow sips, lips brushing the rim with exaggerated focus.
then he handed it back with care and looked at youâreally looked at you.
his gaze was heavy, unfiltered, drenched in quiet affection and a boldness that only came with just enough alcohol to silence overthinking. his eyes didn't move away like they usually did. no. they stayed. steady. sincere.
his gaze held yours with a kind of tender stubbornness, like even the soft haze of intoxication couldnât dull the clarity of what he felt in this moment.
âyouâre⊠so pretty,â he blurted out, the words tumbling out of his mouth without a filter, carried by something braver than sobriety.
you sighed, equal parts amused and exasperated. âyouâre drunk,â you mumbled under your breath as you reached out to help him sit up. he was trying to rise on his own but looked like he was fighting gravity itselfâand losing.
but he didnât stop talking.
âdo you know,â he began, his voice low and hoarse, slurred at the edges but still oddly steady, âwhy i started ignoring you?â
your hands froze mid-motion. your breath caught in your throat. something about his toneâraw, unguardedâfelt like a door creaking open.
âwhy?â you asked quietly.
he smiled. not the kind you were used toâthe charming, boyish kind. this one was tinged with something softer. something closer to regret.
âbecause⊠you kissed yami. like, a lot.â he said, and even through the thick fog of his drunkenness, he sounded sincerely wounded. âher face was all pink and smudgy. i don't know why but i said that she was so lucky and i think i was jealous?â
you blinked, stunned for a moment. âyou were⊠jealous? of your cat?â
âshe got your kisses,â he mumbled, brows furrowing in a pout that should not have looked this tragic. âi didnât.â
your heart gave a wild, unexpected flutter.
he shifted upright with effort, his body swaying just slightly, but his eyes never left yours. âand then... that night. after the welcoming party. you kissed me too. do you remember?â
you stared at him, your mind flipping through every mental file, every hazy memory. you kissed him? no. surely not. you wouldâve remembered something like that... wouldnât you?
his fingers brushed your cheek thenâtentative, reverent. his palm came to rest along the curve of your jaw, cradling your face like it was something delicate. precious.
âyou kissed me here,â he whispered, and his lips pressed softly to the apple of your cheek.
your breath hitched.
âand here,â he added, his mouth brushing the tip of your nose like a feather.
âand here,â he breathed as he kissed your forehead before lowering his forehead until it touched yours, skin to skin, warm and close and impossibly intimate.
his lips hovered just above yours now. not quite a kiss, not yet. just a breath. a memory waiting to be rewritten. a question waiting to be answered.
âand then⊠here.â
you could feel the warmth of his lips ghost over yoursâbarely there, light as air. your fingers instinctively curled around his wrist.
âjungwon⊠youâre drunk,â you said gently, quietly. it was half a plea, half a warning, and yet your voice came out softer than you'd intended.
but he didnât move away.
instead, he pulled you closer with a steadiness that defied the haze in his eyes. slow, unhurried, like this wasnât just a whim, but something heâd thought aboutâwantedâfor longer than you realized.
your knees ended up on either side of his thighs, settling on his lap as if it was the most natural thing in the world. your palms landed on his chest, feeling the quiet rhythm of his heartbeat beneath your fingers.
the space between your faces disappeared entirely nowâjust breath, and heat, and the tension of something unspoken finally reaching the edge of being said.
and still, he looked at you.
like he was waiting for permission.
âdo you really want me to stop?â he asked, his voice a quiet murmur, almost afraid of the answer.
you didnât say a word.
but silence, as it often is between two people standing on the edge of something fragile and real, was louder than any yes. louder than hesitation.
and that silenceâyour silenceâwas enough.
jungwon leaned in and kissed you. softly, at first. tentative, like testing the weight of a dream. his lips brushed against yours with such gentle care it made your chest ache. but thenâslowlyâneed bled into the kiss, a hunger born not of impulse but of everything unsaid between you for far too long. he tilted his head and deepened the kiss, capturing your bottom lip between his and letting it go just to taste it again.
his hands slipped beneath the hem of your shirt, fingertips feathering over your spine like a whisper. your own hands moved to his shoulders, fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt, seeking something solid in a moment that felt like it might melt around you.
the kiss turned messierâopen mouths, breathless sighs, hearts racing beneath skin that begged to be touched.
he tugged at the edge of your shirt, lifting it gently with a question in his eyes, one he didnât need to voice. you raised your arms, granting silent permission. he slid the fabric off of you in one slow motion, letting it fall to the floor with a quiet rustle. you mirrored the action, unzipping his cardigan before helping it off him completely until nothing separated the heat between your bodies.
bare skin met bare skin.
it was warmth and want and wonder. the soft curve of his back beneath your palms, the steady rise of his chest against yours, the low hum of his breath as he continues to kiss you.
jungwonâs lips trailed to your jaw, his breath trembling slightly as he kissed lower, slower, mapping a path along your neck like he was trying to memorize the taste of you. he left warm, fluttering marks with his mouth, his lips brushing against your collarbone. you gaspedâa soft, surprised sound that made his fingers dig a little deeper into your waist.
he smiled against your skin.
but then, just as suddenly, he stopped moving.
you stilled. âjungwon?â you asked, breath catching in your throat.
no answer.
you pulled back slightly, eyes scanning his face.
his eyes were closed. his breathing⊠steady.
he was asleep.
just like that.
you stared at him for a moment, absolutely dumbfounded. you didnât know whether to laugh or cryâor shake him awake just to scold him.
instead, a soft, disbelieving laugh escaped your lips.
âyouâve got to be kidding me,â you whispered, brushing a few loose strands of hair from his forehead with a kind of fondness you didnât mean to show so obviously.
he mumbled something incoherent in reply, still lost in sleep.
you kissed him againâjust a quick, affectionate peck on his lips, careful not to wake him. then, with a sigh and a small shake of your head, you eased off his lap and gently laid him down fully on the couch, his limbs heavy and completely relaxed.
you spotted his cardigan that you took off, draped over the armrest. slipping it on, you were immediately enveloped in his warmth and scentâhis perfume, the smell of alcohol, and something unmistakably him.
after adjusting the blanket over his body and yours, you curled beside him, finding space between his arm and chest. your head rested against his heart, its rhythm calm and grounding. yami jumped up and found her usual place at your feet, her tiny purring adding a soft hum to the quiet.
and slowlyâwrapped in warmth, tangled in limbs and cardigan threads, and bathed in the stillness of the momentâyou fell asleep.
smiling.
morning came, light slipping through the curtains and onto jungwonâs face with no mercy. his head pulsed with a dull, insistent acheâthe hangover had arrived, cruel and unapologetic.
he groaned, voice hoarse, and shifted slightly beneath the blanket, only to realize there was somethingâor someoneâheavy on his chest. in his hazy mind, the answer was obvious.
âyami,â he croaked, eyes still closed. âget off my chest, please.â
nothing.
he furrowed his brows and tried again, his voice a little more desperate. âyami, come on. iâm dying.â
still, no responseâuntil a soft meow broke the silence. but it came from a different direction. a few inches above his head, in fact.
he forced one eye open, squinting against the light.
there she wasâyami. perched neatly atop the sofaâs backrest, blinking down at him with a judgmental gaze only a cat could manage. she let out another quiet meow, almost as if to say, âdonât drag me into your mess, human.â
jungwon blinked. once. twice.
ââŠif yami is there,â he muttered to himself, brain still wrapped in fog, âthen what the hell is on my chest?â
slowly, hesitantly, he tilted his head down.
and then he saw you.
his breath caught in his throat. time stopped.
you were curled up against him, your head resting peacefully on his bare chest, arm loosely draped around his waist. tangled in the same blanket, legs slightly entwined, breaths rising and falling in quiet sync. your face was relaxed, framed gently by your hair, and far too close to the danger zone that was his heart.
jungwonâs face flushed red instantly, color creeping up his neck to his ears like wildfire.
âiâm shirtless,â he realized with a jolt, instinctively pulling his hands away from where theyâd unknowingly restedâclose enough to feel your warmth.
his mind raced.
âokay. think. what happened last night?â
he squinted at the ceiling, piecing together fragments of memoryâhis friends, the bar, music loud enough to shake his bones, too many drinks passed around, laughter, and bad dancing. and then⊠blank.
nothing about this.
and just as he started to panic further, you moved.
a soft hum escaped your lips as you nestled closer to him, face brushing against the crook of his neck like you belonged there. your hand slid slightly across his chest, warm palm resting right over his heartbeat.
he made a strangled noiseâsomething between a gasp and a prayer.
his heart thudded loudly under your touch, so loud he was certain youâd wake up and hear it screaming. he bit down on his bottom lip to keep himself quiet.
âsheâs gonna be the death of me,â he thought, staring at the ceiling like it held all the answers to the universeâor at least to why his chest was now a pillow.
after a few deep breaths, he mustered the courage to lift a shaky hand and gently tapped your shoulder.
âheyâŠâ he whispered, as softly as his rattled nerves allowed. âwake up.â
you groaned in response, furrowing your brows. instead of pulling away, you buried your face deeper into his neck, your hand unconsciously splaying more firmly across his chest.
jungwon stopped breathing for a second.
he was certain this moment would either kill him or convert him into a monk.
he couldnât help it anymore.
âwhen will i ever get to hug her like this again?â the thought whispered through jungwonâs mind like a confession. his restraint crumbled.
before reason could intervene, his arms moved on their ownâwrapping tightly around you, drawing you even closer into his chest as though you were something precious he was afraid to lose. his face nuzzled into your hair, breathing in the quiet scent of youâsoft, familiar, calming. then, as if overcome by a sudden, overwhelming wave of affection, he began to pepper gentle kisses across the top of your head. once. twice. again. and again.
it was, without a doubt, a case of cuteness aggression. your mere presence in his arms was too much for his heart to handle.
but even in the bliss of the moment, a sliver of panic returned.
âsheâs going to wake up and freak out,â he thought, dread seeping in. âsheâs going to scream or hit me orââ
he didnât know that you already knew. and that you wouldn't be surprised. not even a little.
with a reluctant sigh, he slowly pulled back from the embrace, letting his arms fall away from your frame. he hesitated before gently shaking your shoulder, trying to rouse you from sleepâsoft enough not to startle, but persistent enough to work.
and this time, it did.
you stirred with a groan, blinking up at him with a single eye, your features still heavy with sleep. and then, to his complete confusion, you smiled.
âwhy is she smiling?â his mind stumbled. âisnât she supposed toâpanic? shove me off?â
but instead, you just said, âgood morning,â in that warm, slightly raspy morning voice of yours, like it was the most normal thing in the world.
and then you moved. shifted upward. now fully lying on top of him.
your chin came to rest gently on his chest, eyes gazing up into his, content and unbotheredâas though this kind of closeness was your everyday routine. jungwon, meanwhile, was malfunctioning.
he stared down at you, blinking as though heâd forgotten how to speak. the soft morning light was pooling through the curtains, casting a warm glow across your face, illuminating your smile, making you look absolutely ethereal. breathtaking. like a dream.
he felt like his brain had unplugged itself.
you tilted your head slightly, curious at his speechlessness. amused, even.
a few long seconds passed before he finally remembered how to use words. âg-good morning,â he stammered, voice embarrassingly unsteady.
you chuckled, the sound bright and airy. you knew exactly what he was feelingâflustered, completely thrown off-guard by your lack of panic and your excessive proximity.
you stayed like that for a while, tangled in the stillness of morning, the silence between you stretching comfortably. but as you looked down at him, you noticed something oddâhis arms were no longer wrapped around you. they were just⊠floating awkwardly near his head, like he didnât know where to put them or if he was even allowed to touch you anymore.
you pouted slightly.
he cleared his throat, clearly trying to maintain whatever was left of his composure.
you tilted your head again, brows raised in silent questionââwhatâs wrong?â
he spoke at last, though his voice stumbled out in fragments.
âw-what... happened last night?â
you blinked at him, momentarily stunned. then, after a beat, a quiet, amused breath escaped youâsomething between a laugh and a sigh.
he doesnât remember.
you thought he was just feeling flustered. you were't expecting him to not remember what happened last night.
you shook your head, lips quirking upward as you looked down at him, amused by how truly lost he looked. jungwon, still blinking rapidly, stared up at you like youâd just started speaking in riddles.
âwhy is she laughing?â his eyes seemed to plead for an explanation. âdid i say something weird? embarrassing? did i do somethingââ
âi knew it,â you murmured under your breath, as if confirming something long suspected.
âknew what?â he asked instinctively, but you didnât answer right away. instead, you leaned down and pinched his cheek gently, earning a startled blink from him.
âgood thing youâre cute,â you said, voice laced with mock severityâthen kissed his cheek once. twice. and then a third time for good measure.
he froze beneath your touch, brain flickering between mild panic and pure confusion. âwhat is happening?â he thought, nearly out loud. âwhy is she kissing me like that?â
but before he could find a thread of logic to cling to, your voice returnedâlight, sweet, but with a sharpness that made him straighten slightly.
âbut being cute wonât cut it,â you said casually, brushing your fingers against his jaw. âiâm mad at you for what you did last night.â
his eyes flew open, alarm setting in like a sudden gust of cold air.
âwhat did i do? why is she mad? did i say something stupid? did i cross a line? did iââ
you could practically hear the flurry of panicked questions buzzing inside his head, written all over his expression.
you pushed yourself up, and in doing so, you revealed something that nearly sent him into cardiac arrest.
his breath caught audibly.
you were wearing nothing but your bra andâhis cardigan. the same light grey one heâd worn out last night, now draped loosely over your shoulders, the sleeves falling past your fingertips, the fabric hanging open just enough to hint at what lay beneath.
jungwonâs brain, already short-circuiting, utterly failed him now. he averted his eyes like they burned, cheeks rapidly turning crimson.
âwhy is she in my cardigan? why isnât she wearing a shirt? are thoseââ his eyes darted back to you for a second before retreating againâ âare those... hickeys? on her neck? on her collarbone? did i... did i do that?â
he gulped audibly.
you let out another small laugh, not unkindâjust endlessly amused by how adorably flustered he was. you reached out, cupping his cheek once more, and gently turned his face back toward yours.
âletâs get up,â you said softly, brushing your thumb across his skin. âi know you're having the worst hangover right now.â
you sat up properly, tying your hair back with practiced ease. he barely processed itâstill staring at you like you were both a miracle and a mystery.
then, without another word, you stood, stretched with a quiet hum, and padded off toward the kitchen, the oversized cardigan swaying around your frame.
jungwon watched you go in stunned silence, still flat on the couch like a man recovering from a fever dream.
he wasnât sure if he needed water, a cold shower, or divine intervention.
but one thing was certain: he was absolutely, entirely, and hopelessly in trouble.
and he doesn't know why but he didnât even mind.
a few minutes passed before jungwon finally pulled himself off the sofa. his legs felt heavier than usual, and his mind still lagged a step behind reality. he glanced down, finding himself obviously shirtless, his belt hanging loosely from the loops of his pantsâundone, though mercifully still fastened enough to maintain his dignity. remembering the faint trace of hickeys left on your neck and collarbone wasnât helping his spiraling thoughts.
his gaze fell to the shirt on the floor.
your shirt.
meanwhile, you were already in the kitchen, humming softly to yourself as you prepared coffee for the both of youâmoving with the kind of casual grace that comes from being completely comfortable in someone elseâs space, wearing someone elseâs cardigan, and looking entirely unbothered by last nightâs events.
when you turned around with two mugs in hand, you were momentarily startled to see jungwon standing just across the island counter.
or ratherâhiding.
he had draped the blanket from the couch over his head and shoulders like a makeshift cloak of shame, the edges nearly brushing the floor.
you blinked. and then you burst out laughing.
âseriously?â you giggled. âyou look like a sad little ghost.â
âi feel like one,â he muttered from beneath the blanket.
still grinning, you set the mugs down and gently slid his toward him. âsit down, ghost boy. drink your coffee before you wither into the afterlife.â
he obeyed, sinking onto one of the stools without saying another word. he murmured a soft thank you, fingers curling around the warmth of the mug as though it could anchor him back to sanity. what it couldnât help with, however, was the sight of you.
you were still wearing his cardiganâunzipped, looseâand underneath it, just your bra.
jungwon did his best to avert his gaze, sipping his coffee like it was holy water, but every time his eyes drifted, they betrayed him. the curve of your collarbone, the way the cardigan slipped off one shoulder, the slight sway of your hips when you turned...
he was convinced he was going to pass out before breakfast.
you didnât make it any easier. in fact, you turned away again with a mischievous hum and started grabbing ingredients.
âiâm making toast with bacon and eggs. that cool?â you asked, already slipping slices of bread into the toaster, cracking eggs with practiced ease.
ây-yeah, thatâs fine,â he answered, voice barely above a whisper.
you smiled softly to yourself and continued cooking.
once everything was done, you plated the food with care and brought the dishes over. jungwon cleared his throat awkwardly, the silence growing heavier between you as he dared to speak.
âiâm... shirtless,â he pointed out, as if it had just occurred to him.
you looked up from your plate, blinked once, then nodded. âmhm. noticed that earlier.â
he squinted at you. âand are you even planning on giving me back my cardigan?â
you looked down at the soft fabric wrapped around you, then back at him with a smirk playing at your lips. casually, you leaned forward across the island, resting your elbows on the counter and your chin on your hands.
ânah,â you said with a cheeky smile. âi kinda wanna keep it for myself.â
jungwonâs heart practically melted.
âwhy is she doing this to me?â he thought helplessly. âwhy is she so pretty? why is she so dangerous?â
he stared down into his coffee like it held the answers, cheeks still burning as he reached for a piece of toast. you started eating too, the silence now a comfortable oneâsoft, domestic, filled with the quiet sounds of clinking forks and shared glances.
but eventually, the weight of uncertainty became too much to bear.
he drew in a breath, summoned the last of his courage, and broke the silence again.
âi still... donât know what happened last night.â
his voice was quiet, sincere. his eyes remained fixed on the rippling surface of his coffee.
the question lingered between you like steam rising from the mugs.
and now, it was your turn to decide what you wanted to give himâtruth, reassurance, a tease, or maybe all three.
you were placing the dishes in the sink when he asked.
the plate in your hand hovered mid-air for a moment before you set it down in the sink. a smirk tugged at the corners of your lips as you turned toward him.
slowly, you walked over, the echo of your bare feet soft against the tiled floor. jungwon, still wrapped in the couch blanket like some confused ghost, did not lift his gaze. he was doing an impressively terrible job at pretending not to look at youâeven though the pink blooming at the tips of his ears gave him away.
he didnât see you smile.
you came to a stop right beside him. then, gently, you reached out and tilted his face toward yours by the chin.
his breath hitched.
you leaned in, just close enough for your lips to brush the corner of his mouthâa ghost of a kiss, barely there, but it was enough to short-circuit what little brain activity he had left.
his shoulders stiffened. his hands froze around his coffee mug. his pupils dilated like you had cast some sort of spell.
âthatâs for you to find out,â you whispered, your voice dipped in honey and mischief.
then your fingers slid up to rest on his cheek, your thumb brushing delicately over his skinâslow, affectionate, and undeniably cruel in the best way. he leaned into your touch without thinking, his eyes searching yours like he was desperately trying to decode whatever language your smile was written in.
âyou can handle the cleanup, right?â you asked sweetly, as if you hadnât just fried his nervous system in one go.
he blinked.
then, still dazed, nodded.
you chuckledâsoft and victoriousâand turned away. he couldnât help but watch you as you walked, the hem of his cardigan swaying gently with each step. you pulled it around yourself, zipped it up halfway, and tossed a casual glance over your shoulder.
âiâm keeping your cardigan, by the way. iâll give it back once you remember. thanks.â
he looked like he was about to combust.
you opened the door, your fingers curled loosely around the frame as you gave him one last wave.
then you were gone, just like that.
the apartment fell into silence again. jungwon remained on his stool, staring at the door like it might offer answers. it didnât. the only thing that broke the quiet was a soft meowâyami had claimed a seat on the island table and was now staring at him like she wanted answers too.
he groaned, dragging his hands down his face.
âugh,â he muttered. âsheâs trying to kill me. sheâs actually trying to kill me. what am i gonna do?!â
his heart was racing. his mind was spinning. and somewhere inside his chest, something unfamiliar and wild and hopeful had begun to bloom.
meanwhile, just next door, you were busy snapping mirror selfiesâwearing his cardigan, still warm from him, and grinning like a teenager who just pulled off the perfect prank. the pictures went straight to your group chat with yunjin, kazuha, and chaewon, accompanied by a string of excited emojis and one very smug caption.
you:
mission accomplished. đ đ»
now all that was left⊠was to wait.
and see if jungwon would rememberâand more importantly, if heâd do something about it.
taglistâ .â .â .â @morganaawriterr @wondoras @mypolka @meowwwon @dolliehue @in-somnias-world @yjwonsgf @kirijuns @iifrui @momisanalien @vieniee @drunkjazed @hhyvsstuff @readinmidnight @noona-neomu-yeppeo @cutehoons02 @robotinvenus @starfallia @nijisanjigenshin @kkamismom12 @kinamurariki @soobundle1009 @supershy3 @nodoubtily @vrikisn @jayjw16enxp @skzfangirl143 @0leelina0 @noriiluv @o2whre @nocturnebite @userprdx @fangirl125reader @slvrnm @wonnieswife @joonsflwr @yunmislove @raavenarmy-blog @hhoneyhan (taglist is still open, comment to be added.)
final notesâ .â .â .â i hope you guys enjoyed! part eight, the last update will be posted on wednesday. see you guys! and thank you so much for your love and support!
Years after a quiet, painful breakup, you are assigned to write a profile on South Koreaâs most elusive figure skater, Park Sunghoon, who just so happens to be your ex-boyfriend. What was supposed to be a byline quickly spirals into a collision of unresolved feelings, buried emotions that are edging too close to the surface, and the slow thaw between two people who once meant the world to each other. With every step you take back into his orbit, the line between story and truth begins to blurâand the version of him you thought you knew starts to unravel.
word count: 44k (LMFAOOOOOOO)
pairing: figureskater!ex!sunghoon x sportsjournalist!afab!reader
featuring: yunah, minju, and moka from illit
genre: figure skating au, exes to lovers, the one that got away, sunshine x midnight rain, second chance romance, right person wrong time but also becomes right time(?), opposites attract, slow burn, ANGST
warnings: this story contains miscommunication at its PEAK, emotional distress, mentions of injury, past breakup, abandonment, and themes of regret, long-distance, sunghoon ice prince stereotype, mutual pining, girl putting more effort than guy, hopeless romantic core, emphasis on love language, usage of profanities, slight indication of intimacy (literally like one paragraph if you squint), angst, angst, angst, and oh! angst, also maybe slight inaccuracies to real life sports delegations(?)
disclaimer: this is a work of pure fiction. If any context is similar to any other stories, it's either inspired (in which credit will be given) or just a coincidence. the characters' personalities, words, actions and thoughts do not represent them in real life. any resemblance to any real life events or person, present or past, are purely coincidental. i apologise in advance for any spelling or grammar mistakes. characters are aged up for plot purpose.
notes from nat: ngl. i almost didn't want to put this out. but I know people have been waiting and I can be overly critical with myself sometimes... and 44k words is ALOT to just leave it in the drafts, so here you guys go! highly recommended to read with the playlist i curated in order! without further ado, enjoy!
The office is louder than usual for a Monday morning. Keyboards clatter like a percussion ensemble, and the faint hum of printers competes with the buzz of hurried conversations. The aroma of coffee lingers, sharp and bitter. You sit at your desk, staring at your laptop screen, fingers hovering over the keyboard but typing nothing.
Your new assignment email glares at you with a subject line you never thought youâd see: "Profile Piece on Park Sunghoon."
Park Sunghoon. Even his name feels heavy in your chest.
Memories surge to the surfaceâhis laughter ringing through late-night phone calls, the sparkle in his eyes when he spoke about skating, and the tension in his voice during those last arguments before everything unravelled. Itâs been years, but the ghost of him lingers like a song stuck in your head.
âY/N, youâve got the Sunghoon piece, right?â your editor, Yunah, calls out, snapping you out of your trance. Sheâs a whirlwind of energy, dressed in a sharp blazer with a coffee mug permanently glued to her hand.
âYeah,â you reply, trying to sound casual, though your voice wavers slightly. âIâve got it.â
âGood,â she says, striding over to your desk. âThe storyâs got legs. Everyoneâs buzzing about his reappearance and return to Korea. Olympic dreams, media darling, potential scandal⊠youâve got to dig deep on this one. Make it personal.â
âPersonal?â The word makes your stomach churn. âIsnât that more tabloidy than what weâre used to?â
âSports tabloids pay the bills, sweetheart,â Yunah says with a shrug. âAnd youâre the perfect person for this. Youâve got the knack for human stories, and Sunghoonâs story is nothing if not human. Besides, you went to the same university, right?â
The question hangs in the air, deceptively light. You hesitate for a moment too long, and Yunahâs brows lift, a knowing smirk tugging at her lips. âAh, I see,â she says teasingly. âWell, use it to your advantage.â
Of course. You forgot you're surrounded by people who read body language for a living. Thereâs no hiding anything from her.
She walks away before you can respond, leaving you with the sinking realisation that sheâs not entirely wrong. Who better to cover Park Sunghoonâs meteoric riseâand whatever personal demons heâs carryingâthan the girl who once loved him?
By lunchtime, youâve done enough digging to know exactly what youâre up against.
Sunghoonâs name is everywhere.
His faceâstill frustratingly photogenicâplastered across articles, feature spreads, and fan-edited clips with dramatic music overlays. They all show a polished, confident man, far removed from the awkward boy you used to know. His dark hair is perfectly styled, his tailored suits scream sophistication, and his trademark smirk has only grown more enigmatic.
You scroll through write-ups that gush about his triumphant return to the ice. They speculate whether heâll qualify for the next international season, drop cryptic mentions of a ânew fire in his eyes,â and cite sources that canât seem to agree whether his hiatus was due to injury or personal issues. Or both.
There are whispers about a reality show stint during his time in Spainâsomething lowkey, never officially aired, but leaked through blurry screenshots and strategically placed fan theories. A training arc in disguise, if you had to guess. Classic Sunghoon: disappearing, reinventing, and re-emerging like nothing happened.
And now? Heâs starting to make headlines again.
Which makes sense, you suppose. He hasnât been in the public eye for months. Not since that withdrawal from the Grand Prix final. Not since the buzz about that infamous tussleâthe one that sports reporters avoided naming outright but loved to allude to. The speculation only made him more mysterious. More magnetic. The kind of story that writes itself: the fallen star, re-forging his crown.
Yunahâs rightâthe storyâs got legs. You just wish you werenât the one chasing it.
You stare blankly at the screen, lips pressed together as your cursor hovers over yet another article about him.
You were supposed to be over this.
And yet, you canât deny the tightness coiling in your chestânot jealousy, exactly. Not regret, either. Just something far messier. The kind of feeling that comes from watching someone you once loved be glorified by the same world that never saw the nights you spent waiting for him to call. The world that didnât witness the quiet crumbling of a girl who poured so much of herself into someone who didnât know how to hold it.
You slam your laptop shut.
If heâs back on the ice, fine. Good for him.
But youâre not the same girl who used to cry over his missed calls and make excuses for his silence. You have a job to do. A byline to earn. And if this rink ends up being his comeback stage, then so be it.
Youâll be thereânot as the girl who once loved him, but as the reporter who can write his rise without flinching.
The first step is setting up an interview, which means reaching out to his management. This whole thing could very well end here. Youâll send the email, Sunghoon will reject the requestâjust like he does with every other news agency or tabloid that thinks they can score an exclusive interview with him. Yunah will realise youâre not some journalistic prodigy, and sheâll move on to the next big headline.
That should comfort you. When Sunghoon says no, itâs overâno awkward reunions, no dredging up memories youâve spent years trying to bury. And yet, you hesitate, fingers trembling as they hover over the keyboard.
The email stares back at you, every word perfectly composed, detached, professional. It doesnât betray the tangle of thoughts fighting for dominance in your mind.
From: You
Subject: Interview Request for Park Sunghoon Profile Piece
Dear Ms. Yoon,
I hope this email finds you well. My name is Kang Y/N, and Iâm a journalist with Manifesto Daily. Our team is planning a profile piece on athlete Park Sunghoon, focusing on his inspiring journey as a professional athlete and his return to Korea.
I would like to request an interview with Mr. Park to discuss his career, his aspirations for the future, and any personal insights heâd be willing to share with our readers. The piece aims to highlight his achievements and provide a deeper understanding of the person behind the athlete.
Please let me know a time and date that would work best for Mr. Parkâs schedule. I am happy to accommodate and can meet at his convenience. Should you require any further details about the story or our publication, please donât hesitate to reach out.
Thank you for considering this request. I look forward to your response.
Best regards,
Kang Y/N
Senior Journalist (Sports Division)
Manifesto Daily
+82 XX XXXX YYYY
You know the kind of person Park Sunghoon is. Youâve seen him at his most passionate, the fire in his eyes when he spoke about mastering a new routine, and at his most vulnerable, when doubts about his own abilities kept him up at night.Â
Youâve also witnessed him at his ugliestâthose moments when he seemed completely disinterested during your calls, only for you to catch glimpses of him laughing unabashedly in his training mateâs Instagram stories. When he sent curt, dry texts that cut to your insecurities, leaving you questioning if you were the problem. And yet, now here you are, facing the daunting question: Who is he today? A polished media darling, exuding poise and confidence, or a jerk who simply broke your heart?
Youâre not just writing a profile; itâs about untangling the complexities of the boy you once loved and the man he has become, all while confronting the version of him thatâs lived rent-free in your head for years.
When you finally hit send, you lean back in your chair, exhaling deeply. Itâs done. Now all you can do is wait.
The reply comes faster than expected.
For a moment, you stare at the screen, rereading the email as if the words might change.Â
He said yes. The one answer you hadnât prepared yourself for. A mix of relief and dread washes over you in waves, leaving you momentarily frozen.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Interview Request for Park Sunghoon Profile Piece
Dear Ms. Kang,
Thank you for reaching out. Sunghoon has reviewed your request and is happy to make time to participate in the interview for your profile piece. We appreciate your interest in highlighting his journey and achievements.
The interview can be scheduled for this Thursday at 3:00 PM at the Olympic Training Rink in Seoul. Please confirm if this timing works for you. Additionally, let us know if there are any specific topics or questions youâd like Sunghoon to prepare for in advance.
Should you require further assistance, feel free to contact me directly.
Best regards,
Yoon Ji-eun
Executive Assistant, Park Sunghoon
+82 XX XXXX YYYY
âHappy to make time,â you mutter under your breath, staring at the email on your screen. A bitter laugh escapes before you can stop it. Does he even remember you? Or are you just another journalist to him now, a faceless name lost among the countless people chasing for a headline?
He must remember you. Right? After all, you were together for over four yearsâfour long, formative years that shaped so much of who you are. And out of those four, at least three were good years. Happy years. The kind of memories that even if you wanted to forget, you couldnât.Â
He isnât just part of your past; he is your past. From the moment you met him in freshman year college during orientation, to your graduation, and all the way up to the day he left for Spain to chase his dreams, Sunghoon was a constantâa gravitational force you couldnât escape.
Late-night study sessions that turned into early-morning phone calls. The excitement of travelling to watch his competitions, where his focus on the ice was matched only by the way his eyes would light up when he found you waiting in the stands. The quiet moments, tooâthe ones where heâd rest his head on your lap after a long day of training, eyes closed, his walls momentarily lowered.Â
You remember all of it, vividly. How could you not? Itâs etched into the foundation of who you are, whether you like it or not. He alone made up your youth.Â
And he alone crushed it.
The day of the interview arrives quicker than youâre ready for. The sky is overcast, mirroring the grey swirl of nerves in your stomach as you make your way to the Olympic Training Rink. The moment you step inside, a wave of cold air hits youâcrisp and unforgiving, seeping through your coat like a reminder of why you're really here.
The rink is quieter than expected. No coaches shouting instructions, no background music blaring. Just the sharp, rhythmic slice of blades on ice echoing through the vast, open space. The sound is hypnotic.Â
You spot him immediately. His movements are unmistakableâprecise, elegant, detachedâjust like the version of him the world sees now. Itâs surreal. For a moment, you're frozen. Heâs always been like this on the ice, as if he belongs to a world the rest of us can only watch from the sidelines.
When he finally notices you, he skates over, his expression unreadable. Up close, heâs both familiar and foreign. The boy you loved is still there, but heâs hidden beneath layers of polished professionalism and years of distance.
âY/N,â he says, his voice even. âItâs been a while.â
You force a smile, clutching your research papers like itâs the only thing tethering you to professionalism. âIt has. Thanks for agreeing to this.â
He nods, gaze unwavering. âAnything for the press, right?â
The faintest curl of his lip accompanies the words, not quite a smirk, but it lands somewhere between sarcasm and civility. Thereâs a hint of irony in his tone, and you canât tell if heâs mocking you, the situation, or himself. Either way, it stings in a place you wish was long numb.
You follow him as he skates toward the side lounge near the rink, where a table and chair have been set up for you. You set your things down, press the recorder button, and glance at your questions. But already, you can feel itâthe reckoning of something unspoken humming beneath every word, every breath.
The breakup was as cold and sharp as the ice he mastered so effortlessly. Sunghoonâs inability to express himself had always been a quiet undercurrent in your relationship, but distance magnified the cracks until they became impossible to ignore.Â
At first, you told yourself it was temporary. A phase. Just the price of loving someone whose dreams demanded everything of him. While he trained under the Spanish sunâchasing medals, perfection, legacyâyou remained behind, stuck in the grey stillness of routine. Every morning was a quiet scroll through his tagged posts: flashes of sunlight on ice, arms slung around new faces, effortless smiles captured in perfect golden-hour light. He looked happy. Free. And you⊠you were still waiting, clinging to half-hearted apologies and empty reassurances.
The timezone difference was a fact of life, yesâbut it wasnât the hours that made him feel far away. It was the way he spoke with one foot already out the door. Every call became more strained, the conversation shallow, like he was rationing his energy and you were the last on his list. His words were careful, rehearsed, as if emotional honesty was a risk he couldnât afford on top of training and public scrutiny.
Sometimes he wouldnât even call, and when they did come, they hurt more than the silence. His eyes flickered elsewhere on the screen, distracted by movement off-camera or the notifications lighting up his phone. His voice was flat, barely warm, like he was speaking to a colleagueânot someone who used to fall asleep to the sound of his heartbeat. The nickname "Ice Prince" had once made you laugh, made you tease him during post-practice ramen dates. But it wasnât funny anymore. It became a prophecy fulfilledâhe had built walls you could no longer scale, frozen over the places you used to call home.
When the arguments came, they were frigid and brittle, snapping under the weight of unspoken frustrations. You started to memorise the pauses in his speech, the way he hesitated before saying your nameâas though he wasnât sure how to feel about it anymore.
It wasnât just the miles between you that drove you apartâit was the glacier of his guarded heart, one you couldnât thaw no matter how hard you tried.
And then one night, wrapped in a hoodie that still smelled faintly of him, you sat curled up on the steep edge of your windowsill, your knees pulled tight to your chest, eyes scanning the city like it might offer you answers. The lights blinked on like constellations you couldnât name anymore, and you realisedâwith a crushing, reluctant clarityâyou were holding him back.Â
But more importantly, he was holding you back.Â
Your lives had become separate timelines that only intersected on screens and stilted calls, and even then, it felt like you were orbiting each other with no gravity left to pull you close again. The connection you once cherished had thinned until it became a thread you had to squint to see, and even then, it felt like a lie.
So you did the one thing that felt more honest than any of your recent conversations: you typed out the words youâd been avoiding for weeks, hands shaking, eyes blurry.
âMaybe weâre both better off letting go.â
And hit send.
Just like that, another four years passed without him.Â
Time, as always, moved in quiet, unremarkable waysâthrough the steady ticking of clocks and the dull rhythm of workdays blending into each other. You had slowly, stubbornly, climbed the ranks of your publishing company, carving a name for yourself as a senior reporter. It wasnât glamorous, but it was yours.Â
Unexpectedly, you had found yourself swept into the whirlwind of sports journalismâironic, in retrospect, considering how closely that world is being tied to him. But you told yourself it was coincidence. That it was your choice now. That your world, your career, your interests, were no longer shadowed by Sunghoon's orbit or shaped by the way he used to talk about the thrill of competing and nailing six-minute routines like they were sacred.
You insisted you were free. And maybe that was true. But in the quiet spaces between deadlines and press boxes, in the few spare seconds before interviews began or crowds broke into applause, you couldnât stop that lingering, almost shameful thought from blooming: that maybe, just maybe, some part of you had always hoped to run into him again.
Not to rekindle anything. Not to reach for what had already slipped through your fingers.
But to show him. Show him that you had thrived. That you were still standing after everything. That the girl he left behind was long gone, replaced by someone sharper, stronger, more whole.
But nowânow that you find yourself in this predicament, frozen in place on the edge of a rink you never expected to be at, watching the familiar curve of his form cut across the ice with the same breathtaking graceâyou feel like a fool for ever thinking you were ready.
You want nothing more than for the ground beneath you to crack open and swallow you whole. Because seeing him again doesnât fill you with triumph. It doesnât validate anything. It just hurts.
Worse than it should.
And it terrifies you how easy it is to fall back into that ache.
âHello? Earth to Y/N.â
You blink, startled out of your reverie by the sight of Sunghoon waving a hand in front of your face. You hadnât even realised you'd spaced out.
âSorry,â you murmur, clearing your throat. Your fingers fumble with the papers you had so meticulously preppedâhighlighted, annotated, sorted in orderâyet now you pretend to look for something among them, just to avoid his gaze. You know itâs a weak cover. And karma hits fast.
A gust of air from the heater overhead flutters your stack of papers, and before you can react, a dozen sheets slip from your grip and scatter. Some land across the floor. Others fly dramatically over the rinkâs low barricade, drifting like paper snowflakes onto the pristine ice.
âOh, shitââ you hiss, already scrambling to gather them, crawling after loose pages that slip under chairs and along the skirting of the rink. Youâre mumbling curses to yourself under your breath as you pick up the pieces of paper off the floor when your eyes zone in on a particular page that landed upright. Your breath catches.
Reference 4: Compilation of Netizensâ Impressions on Athlete Park
+62 -12 wow as expected park sunghoon! young, rich and handsome. must be a dream to date someone like him
Dream or nightmare? Not really sure but okay.
+120 -24 kyaaaa heâs so handsome!! Iâm a fan!
Whatâs the point of being handsome? Heâs a jerk!
+82 -4 wow how can someone look so perfect⊠he looks like a disney character
Correct. More specifically, that giant ice golem from Frozen -.-
+32 -6 i wonder if he has a girlfriend. There must be so much pressure dating someone as perfect as Park Sunghoon. Itâs okay, iâll volunteer!!
No pressure. He doesnât open up enough for you to feel pressure. Still, may the odds be ever in your favour.
Your stomach drops. Youâd forgotten those were even thereâyour sardonic, late-night annotations scribbled in red pen. Bitter, sharp, personal. And littered all over your research stack.
You snap your head up, and horror freezes your limbs.
Sunghoon is on the ice leaning casually against the rink barricade, one of the annotated pages in hand. His expression is a cocktail of amusement and disbelief, and worst of allâa hint of knowing. He reads aloud in a slow, deliberate tone, his voice dripping with mockery.
ââPark Sunghoon is a block of ice personified. If you want to know what it's like dating a block of ice, 10/10 recommend.ââ
He scoffs, dropping the page slightly to meet your eyes.
âInteresting research.â
Your blood rushes to your ears. You feel exposed, raw, like someoneâs just peeled the skin back from every nerve ending and left them pulsing in the open air. You canât even remember writing that annotationâbut of course itâs in red, underlined, and impossible to ignore. One of many off-handed comments scrawled across your notes, never meant to be seen. Certainly not by him.
âIâI didnât mean for that toââ You falter. What can you even say? You were angry when you wrote those, bitter and alone at 2 a.m., trying to turn pain into sarcasm.
Sunghoon studies you, his expression unreadable again. But thereâs something in the way he watches youâlike heâs trying to figure out if youâre the same girl he once knew, or someone entirely new. Someone just as guarded now as he once was.
âDidnât mean for what?â he drawls, raising an eyebrow. âYou mean you didnât mean to write all these berating comments in bold red ink all over your research paper?â He plucks up another sheet from the scattered pile, the corners of his mouth twitching. âLetâs see what else weâve got.â
You instantly recognise that one. Your heart sinks. Itâs that pageâthe one where youâd printed promotional shots of him modelling for an active sportswear brand. Not only had you annotated it with snide remarks about his âunnecessarily photogenic jawline,â but youâd also drawn little devil horns and moustaches across his face like a deranged kindergartener with a vendetta.
âOh my god, give me that!â you blurt out, reaching instinctively over the rink barricade in an attempt to snatch it back. But of course, Sunghoon is Sunghoonâa whole seven inches taller and built like someone who only lives and breaths protein. He easily keeps the paper just out of reach, lifting it higher with an infuriating flick of his wrist.
And then thereâs the bloody barricade. Cold, unyielding metal pressing against your ribs as you lean further than you probably should. Youâre close enough now to see the faint smirk tugging at the corner of his lips, the smug glint in his eyes that says heâs enjoying this far too much.
âWow,â he muses, inspecting the doodles with mock appreciation. âYou even gave me fangs. Thatâs new.â
âSunghoon, I swear to Godââ
âRelax.â He folds the paper with exaggerated care and waves it around in the air, taunting you. âIâm flattered you still think about me. Even if itâs in your own⊠special way.â
You feel a slow, rising heat on your cheeks, accompanied by the realisation that youâre no longer sure whoâs in control of this interview anymoreâyou or the boy you once loved who is now laughing at your annotated emotional breakdowns.Â
Youâre burning with embarrassment. Mortification. But more than that, youâre furiousâat him, at yourself, at the stupid page still clutched in his hand like a golden ticket. Without thinking, you shove open the rinkâs side gate and step onto the ice.
âY/Nââ he calls, warning laced in his voice. But you donât listen.
Your flats hit the ice and your body immediately regrets the decision. Youâre not dressed for this. The soles of your shoes slip against the surface, and gravity betrays you in a matter of seconds.
âShitâ!â
You yelp as your foot skids out from under you. The papers in your hand fly upward in a dramatic arc, and your arms flail as you lose balance completely. A part of you braces for the impact, the cold bite of ice against your back and the guaranteed humiliation thatâll follow.
Four years since youâve seen your ex-boyfriend, and youâre about to face-plant onto the very place that drove him away from you.
Damn this ice rink. Damn you, Park Sunghoon.
But the fall never comes.
Instead, thereâs a sudden blur of motionâfast, practiced, effortless. Arms wrap around you just in time, steadying your momentum as your body lurches forward. You slam into something solidâsomeone solidâand for a moment, all you hear is the rapid pounding of your heart and the low whoosh of his skates cutting against the ice.
You look up.
Sunghoon stares down at you, jaw tight, one arm around your waist and the other gripping your wrist where he caught you. The smirk is gone now, replaced with something quieterâunreadable.
Youâre close. Too close. You can feel the steady rise and fall of his breath, the lingering warmth of his touch against your coat sleeve. He steadies you like muscle memory, like no time has passed at all.
âYou never change,â he mutters under his breath, but thereâs something indecipherable in his toneâannoyed, maybe. Or amused. Or maybe he just doesnât know what to feel either.
You pull away quickly, too quickly, slipping again slightly before you regain your footing with a shaky huff. Your palms are planted against his chest, and you can feel the familiar beat of his heart under all that armour of fabric and calm. It rattles you more than the near-fall did.
You open your mouth to snap something bitingâmaybe about how you didnât need his help, or how youâd rather eat the ice than owe himâbut then you see it.
A flicker of pain across his face. A wince.
Itâs subtle. So quick that anyone else mightâve missed it. But not you. Youâd studied that face for years. You know what his mask looks like when it slips.
He straightens a little too stiffly, his jaw tightening as he shifts his weight from one leg to the other. Itâs slight, but telling. Your brows draw together as a thought rises, uninvited and stubborn.
The rumours about his injury.
It wasnât reported officiallyâjust whispers that circulated through the sports journalism grapevine. A rumoured altercation in Spain with another figure skater. A "tussle," they called it. No names, no details, just speculation buried in a few poorly sourced articles and message board threads that vanished almost as quickly as they appeared. Some even said it was the real reason he disappeared from competition for two entire seasons.
At the time, it had seemed like nothing more than gossip. Now, watching the way he stands with deliberate caution, the rumour doesnât seem so far-fetched.
âYou okay?â you ask before you can stop yourself.
He pauses, then gives a short nod, not meeting your eyes. âFine. Youâre the one slipping all over the place.â
You bristle. âWell, maybe if you didnât dangle incriminating evidence over the ice like a Bond villainââ
He actually laughs at that. Itâs quiet, caught off guard, and so startlingly familiar that it sends a jolt through your chest. For a second, just a second, you forget everything elseâthe sarcasm, the history, the sharp wordsâand remember how that laugh used to feel like home.
But it fades quickly. And in its place is that wall againâthe carefully constructed version of him the world sees.
You dust yourself off, avoiding his gaze as you mutter, âThanks. For not letting me faceplant.â
âDonât mention it,â he says, voice neutral again. âWouldâve been a liability issue.â
You roll your eyes and crouch to pick up another page, trying to focus on your scattered notes rather than the ache settling low in your chest. He doesnât say anything, but you can feel his eyes on you, can feel the weight of everything unsaid pressing down between you.
Your mind also lingers on the way he wincedâon the possibility that something deeper still lurks beneath the polished exterior.
âIâm on a tight schedule today. Letâs get the interview started, shall we?â Sunghoon says coolly, handing you the last of your scattered notes.
You take it from him, eyes briefly flickering to the page. Another cringe ripples through youâmore scribbled sarcasm in the margins, barely legible under your rushed handwriting. Fantastic. But you school your expression, swallowing the urge to snatch it back and set it on fire.
âThanks,â you say evenly, forcing composure into your voice as you tuck the page into your folder. âLetâs begin.â
You sit back down, smoothing the creases from your notes as you click the recorder on again. Your pen hovers above the page for a second too long.
âAlright,â you begin, adopting your neutral reporter tone, âletâs start with something simple. Youâve been back in Korea for a little over three months now. How has the transition been, returning after so long abroad?â
Sunghoon leans forward slightly, arms crossed in that easy, guarded posture you remember all too well.
âBusy,â he says. âFamiliar, in some ways. But the pace here is different. Everyoneâs watching. Everyone expects something.â
You jot that down, even though it doesnât say much. Itâs a good warm-up answer. Controlled. Polished.
âDoes that pressure ever affect your performance?â you press gently, eyes flicking up to catch his expression.
He shrugs, gaze fixed somewhere over your shoulder. âPressureâs part of the job. If it affects you, you donât belong here.â
You resist the urge to raise a brow. There it is againâthat edge in his voice, so calm it almost passes for indifference. Almost.
You move to your next question. âYouâve recently partnered with Belift for their new activewear line. What drew you to them over the other offers on the table?â
A pause. A flicker of amusement tugs at the corner of his mouth. You realise too late that this is the same line of questioning printed on the devil-horned page still sticking out of your folder.
âI liked their vision,â he says, but the glance he gives you is pointed. âSomething about... sharp lines and ice tones. Felt on-brand.â
You cough lightly, ignoring the jab. âAnd the photoshoot?â you ask, pen poised again. âYou received quite a response online. Some say it marked a shift in your public imageâless âIce Prince,â more...â
ââDevilishly handsome and emotionally unavailableâ?â he offers, arching a brow.
You shoot him a look. âThatâs not exactly what I was going to say.â
âSure it wasnât.â
A beat of silence passes before you recover. âLetâs pivot. In Spain, you were training under Coach Morales. How did his style compare to what you were used to in Korea?â
Sunghoon exhales, shoulders dropping slightly. For the first time, his answer comes without a filter.
âHe was tougher. Stricter, but less traditional. He didnât care how I was perceivedâonly what I delivered. And if I didnât deliver, he made sure I knew it.â
Something flickers in his eyesâsomething heavy and lived-in. You donât push. Not yet.
You scribble a note before asking, softer this time, âWas that hard for you?â
He pauses. âNo,â he says after a moment. âWhat was hard was unlearning everything I thought I already knew.â
The sentence lands with a thud in your chest.
You nod slowly, tapping your pen against your notebook. âUnlearning can be the hardest part,â you say, and youâre not sure whether youâre talking about figure skating... or each other.
You glance at your next question, fingers tightening slightly around your pen. The rhythm of the interview is shiftingâbalancing between surface-level poise and the weight of everything that hasnât been said.
âYour return to Korea has been a hot topic amongst our readers,â you begin, tone level. âItâs been a solid three years since the last time you were in the country for the Winter Olympics. Naturally, people are curiousâwhat brought you back? Especially considering the new season is starting soon.â
Sunghoon leans back in his seat, arms loosely crossed. âI can't give away too many details,â he says, gaze cool but not unkind. âLong story short, Iâm in the country for some personal reasons that I'd prefer not to disclose.â
You nod, jotting something down even though itâs barely usable. Your next question hovers on your tongue, heavier than the others. âI see. Well, there have been some rumours⊠surrounding an altercation with another figure skaterâsomeone else under Coach Moralesâ regime. Do you have any comment on that?â
His eyes flick to yoursâsharper this time. He doesnât respond right away. You hear the faint rustle of paper, the soft crunch of his skates shifting on the ice. âIs that part of the interview? Or just personal curiosity?â
You look up at him, your expression unreadable. âDoes it matter?â
âWell, I assure you there was no altercation,â he says smoothly. âJust minor disagreements.â
You tilt your head slightly. âCare to elaborate?â
âNot really.â
The tension in the air thickens, more palpable than the chill radiating off the ice behind him.
You clear your throat. âAlright. Then what about your injury? Howâs recovery? Two seasons is a long time to disappear. Many fans were concerned when you missed the CS Lombardia Trophy in Italy last year. That was a pretty high-profile absence.â
You donât even know where that came from. The question is not on your listânot even in the margins. But the words slip out anyway, fuelled by instinct more than intention. A part of you just wants to know. Wants to see if heâll flinch again, if heâll tell the truth, if heâs still capable of letting someone inâeven if itâs just for a moment.
At first, heâs stoic. But then you see itâthe shift in his posture, the twitch of tension in his jaw. He doesnât deny it. Doesnât even flinch.
Instead, he says, âThatâs not the story youâre here for.â
âMaybe not,â you murmur. âBut itâs the one people would care about.â
A long silence stretches between you, taut as a drawn wire. Heâs no longer smirking. No longer deflecting. Just staring, as if weighing something inside himself.
âI donât believe I ever mentioned being injured,â he replies, with a short, hollow laugh. âThese rumours get way too out of hand and invasive sometimes, donât you think, Reporter Kang?â
That tone againâplayful on the surface, barbed just beneath.
You lower your pen slowly, your professionalism fraying at the edges. âLook,â you say, voice quieter, firmer. âIf you're not going to give me anything to work with, why'd you even say yes to this interview in the first place?â
The recorder is still running. The room is still silent. But something in the air has shiftedâsubtle, but irreversible. The space between you no longer feels professional. It feels personal.
Not reporter and subject.Â
Just you and him. Two people orbiting the same history, waiting for someone to say the next honest thing.
He moves first. Exhales through his noseâalmost a laugh, but not quite. âYouâre still the same.â
âNo,â you say softly. âIâm really not.â
He studies you at that, eyes narrowing slightly like heâs trying to read a story written in a language he once knew by heart. âYouâre bolder now,â he admits. âSharper around the edges.â
âAnd youâve learnt how to talk like a press release.â
He huffs a short breath, amusement flickering in his eyes. âComes with the territory.â
âRight. Just a clean-cut, polished professional athlete now.â You tuck a paper into your folder, but your eyes linger on him a moment longer.
Still so familiar. Still so far.
You slide the last paper into your folder, but your hands donât move to close it. You just sit there, the silence pressing down between you again. Your gaze drops to the recorder, still blinking softly.
âDo you want me to turn it off?â you ask quietly.
Sunghoon doesnât answer right away. His jaw tenses, like heâs debating something with himself. Then, slowly, he nods.
You reach forward and press the button. The soft click echoes louder than it should.
For a while, neither of you speaks. Itâs not awkward, but itâs weighty. Careful. Like standing on a frozen lake, knowing one wrong move could crack the surface.
âI didnât come back for a sponsorship,â he says eventually, his voice lower than itâs been all day. âOr to prep for the season. Not really.â
You glance up, meeting his eyes.
âI came back because I didnât know where else to go,â he admits. âI needed to feel... something familiar. Just for a while.â
His fingers tap a slow rhythm against his thigh, a nervous habit you remember well. The same one from when he used to sit beside you during exams, whispering under his breath that he was going to flunkâonly to ace the paper every time.
You just nod, not sure how to respond to this sudden vulnerability. Truthfully, throughout your four years of dating, he had never truly let himself be vulnerable in front of you. Not fully.
Sure, youâd seen him tired. Youâd seen him frustrated. Youâd seen the cracks on the surface when pressure pushed too hardâbut he always wore his pride like armour, always bounced back with a smirk or a shrug, always insisted he was fine, even when you knew he wasnât.
But thisâthis quiet confession, this barely-audible tremor in his voiceâit feels different.
Feels like he's reaching out to you.
And it guts you more than youâd like to admit.
You shift slightly in your seat, unsure if youâre meant to comfort him or just bear witness. âIs that why you said yes to this?â you ask. âTo the interview?â
His eyes flick toward you, then away again.
âI wasnât sure,â he says after a beat. âMaybe I just wanted to see you.â
Your breath catches. The words arenât said with romantic flourish, not laced with sweetness or longingâbut they still land squarely in your chest, knocking something loose.
You donât know what to say. For once, your head isnât filled with questions or comebacks. Just the ghost of a hundred conversations you never had, and the echo of all the things that could have been different if either of you had said the honest thing first.
But itâs too late for that now.
You glance down at your folder, lips pressed into a thin line. âThanks for your time,â you say, and itâs so formal, so distant, it might as well have come from someone else entirely.
"I'm assuming I'll hear from your legal representative if I use any of these in my piece."
Your voice is calm, steadyâtoo steady. The sentence lands like a wall slamming back into place between you, brick by brick. You donât say it to be cruel. You say it because you need to anchor yourself in something safe, something distant. Because the moment felt too raw, too real, and you donât know what to do with the part of you that wanted to reach across the table instead of retreat.
Sunghoon stiffens. Just slightly.
âNo,â he says after a moment. âYou wonât. Off the recordâs fine. Not like it matters now, anyway.â
You nod once, curt. âGot it.â
And just like that, the spell breaks. The weight in the room doesn't lift, but it shiftsâmuted now, buried again beneath layers of detachment and professionalism. The kind youâve both grown too good at.
You donât look at him when you stand. Donât give yourself the chance to. Your hands move on autopilotâclosing the recorder, tucking your pen away, zipping your coat with fingers that tremble ever so slightly. And then youâre moving, steps brisk and deliberate, the sound of your boots against the concrete floor too loud in the quiet.
Behind you, you hear nothing.
No apology. No explanation. No plea.
Just silence.
Sunghoon opens his mouthâhis hand halfway raised, like heâs about to call your name. But the words never make it past his lips. He watches you go, jaw clenched, the moment slipping through his fingers before he even realises he still wanted to hold onto it.
For him, seeing you again was something he knew he would never truly be prepared for, no matter how many times he rehearsed this conversation in his head. Because you were never a script he could memorise.
You were always unpredictable. Slipping through moments like sand through his fingersâtoo quick, too sharp, too full of feeling. He remembers how your emotions came in layersâsome loud and impulsive, others quiet and impossible to decipher. And maybe thatâs what scared him the most.
Because he never quite knew how to meet you where you were.
You made decisions faster than he could process. You said the things he only thought about. And you demanded a kind of presence, a kind of emotional honesty, that he had spent most of his life trying to avoid. A part of him had admired that about you. Another part? It drove him insane.
Now, as your figure disappears through the doors without so much as a backward glance, he feels that same ache blooming in his chest againâfamiliar and bitter.
He told himself that this would be closure.
But it doesnât feel like the end. It feels like a page he never finished reading.
And youâre already gone.
You spend the next few hours drafting the profile piece that was supposedly meant to âprovide a deeper understanding of the person behind the athlete.â Though with the material youâve managed to gather, itâs unlikely youâll even graze the surface.Â
Whatever. Just give them the Sunghoon they want: the enigmatic comeback king, the prodigy turned recluse turned headline again. Youâll quote his stats, mention his precision, maybe even throw in a poetic metaphor about how the ice has always been his canvas. Youâll do your job. Professionally. Neutrally.
Youâve done harder things. Covered messier stories. Interviewed athletes who could barely string a sentence together. Sat through twelve-hour matches just to get three lines of gold. Writing about Sunghoon, someone you knowâknewâshould be easier. Right?
Wrong.
So incredibly, painfully wrong.
Because the moment you sit down to outline your first paragraph, every sentence you draft sounds clinical. Distant. Like youâre trying too hard to keep your voice out of it. But your voice is in it. Itâs everywhere. Between the lines, in the phrasing, in the careful omission of details only you would know.
You stare at the blinking cursor on your screen like itâs mocking you. Because no matter how objective you try to be, thereâs no deleting the fact that the man skating his way back into the spotlight is the same one who once skated straight out of your life.
And now you have to write about him like heâs just another assignment. Like he wasnât the one story you never really finished.
Still, youâre a professionalâand Park Sunghoon is nothing if not a compelling subject. Enigmatic, polished, untouchable. Every photo released of him looks like itâs been run through three rounds of edits and an entire PR teamâs approval. His public image is a masterclass in controlled narrative, curated to the last detail, but his backstory remains a blank canvas to most.
Well, not to you.
You have a folder of photos from when he was still just Sunghoonâbefore the endorsements, before Spain.Â
Sunghoon also never said you couldnât dive into his university life. And itâs not like he gave you much to work with anyway.
Thatâs fair game.
No media-trained responses, no glossy interview clipsâjust a black hole of the years he spent quietly grinding through lectures and training sessions, tucked far from the spotlight.Â
To the public, itâs a blank space. But to you? Itâs fertile ground. You were there. You knew the version of him who lived off convenience store food and energy drinks, who stayed up late tweaking final projects and icing swollen ankles at the same time. You knew the boy who forgot to reply to emails but remembered to text you good luck before your presentations.Â
You know the difference between the way he smiles for cameras and the one that used to slip out mid-yawn, when his guard was down. You know the scar above his ankleânot because itâs ever been mentioned in press, but because you were there when he got it, wrapping it in gauze while he hissed through gritted teeth. You know how he taps his fingers when heâs nervous. How he tightens his jaw before speaking truths he doesn't want to admit. How his laugh used to crack in the middle when something really got to him, how his voice used to trip over words when he was excited or flusteredânot like the carefully paced cadence he gives the media now.
He may have grown into a mystery, but once upon a time, he was the most knowable person in your life.
So yeah, you dig. Not out of spite. Not exactly. Youâre just doing your job. Sourcing old event flyers, class photos, public records, and a few strategically placed emails to former professors and classmates. You tell yourself itâs just researchânothing personal. Just building a fuller picture for the piece. The audience deserves depth. Authenticity. A glimpse of the man behind the athlete.
Besides, itâs not like youâre digging for scandal. Youâre just⊠revisiting old ground.
Still, there's something undeniably sharp about the way your fingers move as you pull up archived yearbooks and student publication blurbs. How your lips twitch at the memory of him stumbling through a group presentation in first-year psych, cheeks red, voice shaking as he tried to explain semiotics with a skating metaphor. The same boy who once dropped his cue cards and muttered, âIâm better on ice, I swear,â to a room that actually laughed with him.Â
And maybeâjust maybeâit wouldn't hurt to slip the story into the draft. Tactfully. Casually. A humanising touch. A reminder to the world that he wasnât always so untouchable.
You add a line about his time at university, his balancing act between training and lectures, the quiet discipline that preceded his fame. And though itâs not in your style to get sentimental, you let yourself write one soft line, just one:
You keep it sharp. Clean. Balanced. The words come easily, like muscle memory. You stitch together the facts, layer in the charm, and add a sprinkle of speculation where itâs appropriateâjust enough to give readers something to chew on. You reference his decorated track record, his quiet re-entry into the spotlight, the way his name is starting to echo through rinks again like a whispered rumour of greatness returning.
You even write about the growing murmur among commentators: that Park Sunghoon might just be gearing up for a full-blown comeback.
Even though he told youâspecifically, clearlyâthat he wasnât prepping for the season.
But facts donât sell as well as fantasy. And heâs always been better as a myth than a man.
So you keep your voice light. Objective. Not too close, not too distant. Just enough ambiguity to make it seem like youâre on the outside looking in. Just enough plausible deniability to protect you from the truth threaded beneath every line. You write him like a legend resurrected. Like someone who left the world breathless, disappeared, and is now daring to return.
Before you know it, you're signing it off.
And as you read over the final draftâflawless, well-paced, and entirely detachedâyou canât help but feel the faintest pulse of something beneath your skin.
Because this isnât just a story about Park Sunghoon.
Itâs a story about how well you still know him.
And how expertly youâve learned to pretend you donât.
You donât even attempt to read it over another time. You just hit send.
The email whirs off to your editor, and with it, the story. Not the whole one. Not the one you carry in your chest like an old wound. Just the one the world gets to see.
And if he reads itâ
Well.
Let him wonder how much of the truth you chose to leave out.
[MANIFESTO EXCLUSIVE]
The Ice Doesnât Melt: A Closer Look at Park Sunghoonâs Return to Korea
By Kang Y/N, Manifesto Daily
Three years since his last appearance on home soil, South Koreaâs beloved figure skater Park Sunghoon has returnedânot with the fanfare some expected, but with a quiet presence that speaks volumes. After a two-season absence from competitive performance, Park, now 27, has chosen to settle in Seoul again, sparking both curiosity and speculation among fans and professionals alike.
âI needed something familiar,â he said during our brief but telling interview, when asked about his decision to return. He didnât specify more than that, and true to form, left the rest hanging in the air unsaid.
Park Sunghoon has always been a study in restraintâon and off the ice. From the moment he first captured public attention as a prodigious teen gliding across the rink with terrifying precision, he has maintained an image both pristine and impenetrable. Nicknamed âThe Ice Princeâ by fans and media alike, Park built a reputation not just on technical skill, but on his ability to keep the world at armâs length.
His return to Korea comes on the heels of years spent overseasâSpain, to be exactâwhere he reportedly trained under a discreet but rigorous programme with world renowned Coach Alex Morales.
Park was last seen in competitive skating during the 2023 Grand Prix, where he shocked the world by abruptly withdrawing from the final. At the time, he was considered a strong contender for the gold, making his sudden exit all the more startling. The incident was never formally addressed by his management, and Park himself has avoided discussing it altogether. The silence that followed only fuelled speculationâinjury, burnout, conflictâbut no answers ever came. Just absence.
Still, those whoâve recently spotted him during early morning solo sessions at the Seoul Ice Arena report that his technique is sharper, cleanerâalmost startling in its control. But what truly draws attention is the absence of spectacle. No press conference, no sponsor-driven welcome, no grand statement announcing his intentions. Just quiet re-entry.
âHe doesnât skate like someone preparing for a comeback,â one former coach, who requested anonymity, shared. âHe skates like someone trying to remember why he loved it in the first place.â
Yet, itâs not just his time abroad that shaped the man returning now. Long before the endorsements and Olympic buzz, Park had quietly juggled his dual identity as both athlete and student. Few fans are aware that between competition seasons, he completed a degree in media and communication at a local university. Classmates from that time recall him as a quiet presenceâalways punctual, often reserved, but not unfriendly. He kept to himself for the most part, but those who got close remember his dry humour, his encyclopaedic knowledge of classic film, and a surprising tendency to ramble nervously during group presentations.
âHe once tried to explain a semiotic theory using a skating routine as an analogy,â one classmate laughed. âIt didnât make much sense, but he was so earnest about it, we just let him finish. After that, he was known as the âsemiotic boyâ among our coursemates.â
Those stories paint a softer, more human picture of the man the public still views as near-mythic. But those who knew Park Sunghoon before the spotlight remember someone more boy than mythâequal parts unsure and brilliant, like he hadnât quite figured out how to carry the weight of his own potential. Just a young man balancing essays and exhibitions. Late-night editing sessions and early morning ice drills.
This return has reignited questions about what Park wants nowâwhat comes after the medals, the global tours, and the silence that followed. His name still commands weight, still trends with the slightest public appearance, yet thereâs a noticeable shift in how he carries it. Less prince. More person.
Thereâs been no official word on whether Park will rejoin the competitive circuit, though murmurs within the skating community suggest heâs been quietly invited to participate in the upcoming 2026 Winter Olympics team tryouts. Whether he intends to accept remains unclearâPark has neither confirmed nor denied the rumours, keeping his future as intentionally unreadable as ever.
And perhaps thatâs the story. Not a triumphant return. Not a redemption arc. But presence. The act of being. The quiet audacity of choosing stillness in a world that only ever celebrated his movement.
In many ways, Park Sunghoon remains an enigma. But for those whoâve followed his journey, that isnât new. Whatâs new is the version of him that doesnât seek to melt the iceâbut instead, has learned to live with it.
Only time will tell what that means for the future of figure skatingâs most elusive son.
âOur dear Y/N, youâve done it again.â
Applause breaks out the second your foot crosses the threshold of the office. Itâs 9 a.m.âtoo early, too loud, and at least three hours behind the amount of sleep you need to properly function. You blink, trying to place what exactly youâre being celebrated for.
âBravo. That was an excellent article,â Minju, the teamâs ever-enthusiastic publicist, grins as he pats you on the shoulder in passing.
Oh.
That was going out today?
You didnât even have your morning coffee yet.
By the time youâve dropped your bag onto your desk and opened your laptop, your inbox is already a mess. The subject lines blur together:
[RE] Manifesto Exclusive â Park Sunghoon
IS HE BACK FOR REAL??
The Ice Prince has feelings??
Thank you for this. I cried.
You open a few out of morbid curiosity. Fans are flooding your public inbox with praise, speculation, andâbecause the internet is the internetâseveral unsolicited theories about a secret marriage and a love child. Your copy editor, Moka, forwards you one with the subject line: âif he doesnât want to melt, iâll melt FOR him.â
On social media, itâs even worse. Or better. Youâre not sure yet.
His name is trending. #ParkSunghoon.
Followed closely by #IcePrinceReturns, and the truly cringy #TheColdDoesntBotherHoonAnyway.
Tweets fly across your feed:
@/ice_princess: this article just made me want to lie face down in the snow and whisper Park Sunghoonâs name to the frost
@/manifesto_daily_stan: Kang y/n iâm free on thursday if you want to do godâs work again
@/plscomebackhoon: she said he doesnât need to melt. he just needs to exist. do you HEAR that??? DO YOU.
And somehow, thatâs exactly what everyone needed.
Editors are thrilled. Readers are emotional. Former skaters are sharing it. Someone on Twitter even called it âthe most human thing written about an athlete in years,â and you donât know whether to be flattered or panicked.
Because it wasnât meant to be that personal.Â
Not really.
And yetâhow could it not be?
You told the truth, sure. The visible one. But between the lines, there were pieces of you too. Tiny, hidden echoes of everything you remembered and everything you refused to say. And now itâs out thereâimmortalised in print and pixelsâbeing consumed by people who will never know what you left out.
Youâre halfway through scrolling a tweet thread titled â25 Times Park Sunghoon Looked Like a Heartbroken Studio Ghibli Protagonistâ when a new email notification pops up.
You open it, already bracing yourself for either legal threats or sarcasm.
Hey.
Took your email off the internet, hope you don't mind.
Nice article. Although, I don't think I approved any of those pictures you used in it. Especially the one where Iâm mid-blink and look like I just saw God. Bold choice.
P.S. You really quoted my classmate calling me âsemiotic boyâ? Thatâs... deeply unnecessary.
You stare at the screen, lips twitching despite yourself.
Itâs so himâpassive-aggressive, smug, and annoyingly charming. The kind of email only Park Sunghoon would send instead of just texting like a normal person.
At the bottom, thereâs no sign-off. No best regards, no sincerely, not even a name.
Just one final line, added like an afterthought:
You still overuse em-dashes, by the way.
You exhale a laugh. God, of course he noticed that.
You stare at the screen, blinking. Once. Twice.
Of all the emails you expected todayâfrom eager fans, nosy editors, one conspiracy theorist convinced Sunghoon is a time travellerâthis was not on the list.
You lean back in your chair, arms crossed, rereading the message like it might change if you blink hard enough. But no. Still the same. Still signed off with zero punctuation, zero emotion, and 100% Sunghoon.
You scoff.
[email protected]. You canât get over it. You donât know whatâs worseâthe fact that he still uses the nickname heâs allegedly ânot fond of,â or the fact that he sent this at 9:46 in the morning, as if heâs just casually emailing his accountant and not the ex-girlfriend who roasted his public persona to poetic effect.
Bold choice, he says.
This, from the man who once wore leather gloves indoors during summer and called it âa vibe.â
And semiotic boy? That quote was gold. If anything, he should be thanking you for making him sound like an emotionally tortured academic with cheekbones.
Still⊠your fingers hover over the keyboard.
The sensible part of you says to delete it. Or at the very least, archive it and go refill your coffee. You already got your exclusive. You did your job. The storyâs out there, and itâs done.
But the curious part of youâthe one that still knows how he takes his coffee, still remembers the shape of his laughâcanât help but wonder what this email really means.
You donât respond. Not yet.
But you donât delete it either.
You just stare at the screen, lips pressed together, and whisper to yourselfâ
You exhale, shoulders easing slightly when you notice the queue is short. You move toward the counter, already calculating how much espresso you can legally ingest in one sitting, when a voice calls out from the seating area.
âDidnât get my email?â The tone is casualâannoyingly casual. âOr did you read it and purposely decide not to respond?â
You freeze mid-step.
No wayâŠ
You turn, slowlyâlike you're afraid if you move too fast, the moment will solidify into something real youâre not ready for.
And there he is.
Park Sunghoon.
Heâs standing just a few feet away, leaning with practiced ease against the edge of a table like he belongs there, like he hasnât just completely upended your morning, looking frustratingly well-rested for someone who supposedly prefers early ice sessions. Heâs dressed casuallyâblack coat draped over a fitted charcoal jumper, those black-rimmed glasses he used to wear in university when he was trying to be invisible. But he was never very good at that.
His gaze locks with yoursâcalm, steady, unreadableâand it takes everything in you not to let your expression betray the punch of memory hitting you square in the chest.
âYouâve got to be kidding me,â you mutter, half under your breath.
âSorry?â he says, feigning innocence.
âNothing,â you say quickly, crossing your arms, trying to compose yourself. âJust⊠surprised...â
âSurprised to see me,â he says, finishing the thought as if heâs been rehearsing it in his head.Â
âYeah, at my coffee spot,â you sneer, narrowing your eyes. âWhat, are you stalking me?â
He gestures lazily toward the table behind him, where a half-drunk latte sits beside a copy of some obscure paperback youâre certain heâs only pretending to read. âI was here first. Technically.â
You smile, tight-lipped, the professional mask slipping neatly into place. âWell, I apologise if you felt like I had something against you. I get thousands of emails every dayâyour mail mustâve just gotten lost in the flood of junk mail. If it was really that urgent, you couldâve just texted.â
Itâs a big, fat lie. You wonât even pretend otherwise. You read it. Multiple times. But youâre not about to give him the satisfaction of knowing that.Â
His response is immediate. âYou changed your number a few years ago. Didnât leave much choice.â
The way he says it is deliberate, a little too sharp around the edges, like heâs been holding onto that fact longer than heâd care to admit. And what is he implying? That heâs tried contacting you over the years? What for?
You raise an eyebrow. âRight. And instead of, I donât know, asking your assistant for itâyou know, the same assistant I literally emailed last weekâyou thought it would be less invasive to go digging through old contact forms and hope I still checked my public inbox?â
He shrugs again, shameless. âIt was surprisingly easy. And I figured itâd be less awkward than asking someone for it directly.â
Then, mercifully, the barista calls out for the next person in lineâthatâs you.
You move instinctively toward the counter, but before you can even begin to open your mouth, heâs already there, casually stepping beside you.
âLong black,â Sunghoon says, voice smooth as ever. âMake it a double shot.â
You turn your head slowly, eyes wide. âYou remember my order.â
He doesnât flinch. âSome things are hard to forget. Especially if it's the most atrocious coffee order known to mankind.â
And just like that, youâre thrown. Not by the gesture, but by the way he says itâlike it means something. Like maybe he's not just here to pester you about emails and profile photos. Like maybe thereâs something else behind those carefully guarded eyes.
But you're not ready to unpack that. Not here. Not now.
So instead, you nod stiffly, and say nothing.
Not because you have nothing to sayâ
But because you know, with Park Sunghoon, even the smallest word might start something youâre not sure youâre ready to finish.
Youâre still reeling from the fact that he remembers minuscule detailsâlike the exact way you take your coffeeâwhen he casually steps in front of you and pays for it before you can even open your mouth to protest.
âYou didnât have to,â you say, surprised but keeping your voice neutral.
He waves it off, already pocketing the receipt like itâs no big deal. âStill have no idea how you even drink that shit,â he mutters, eyeing the dark brew with a look of theatrical disgust. âBut consider it a compliment. For the article. It was⊠good.â
You glance up at him over the rim of your cup as you take your first sip, letting the heat hit your hands before the taste even registers. âJust good?â
He shrugs, nonchalant, but thereâs a flicker of amusement in his eyes. âYou didnât use my best angles.â
You pause, lips curving slightly. âOh, donât worry,â you reply smoothly. âIâm saving those for the next feature: Park Sunghoonâs Top 10 Most Smug Expressions.â
That earns a laugh from himâgenuine and unguardedâand it catches you off guard. Not the manufactured chuckle he gives in interviews. Not the polite, PR-approved smile. This is real. Honest. The kind of laugh you havenât heard in years, the kind that used to sneak up on you in moments that felt weightless.
It hits you like hearing a song you forgot you lovedâfamiliar and warm, laced with a nostalgia you werenât ready for. A reminder of the version of him that existed before all the distance, before the silences, before the press statements and polished answers.
You donât say anything in response. Just shoot him a look over the rim of your cup. A quiet donât push it.
He meets your gaze, and for a beat, neither of you speaks. Then he nods, like he understands exactly what youâre not saying.
And somehow, that nod feels like the most honest thing exchanged between you all morning.
He knows he probably shouldnât have emailed. The moment he hit send, there was a part of him that regretted it. But then again, heâs never been particularly good at letting things go quietlyânot when it comes to you. Not when the silence between you has always felt more like a wound than a clean break.
Itâs been years since the breakup. Long enough, he thinks, that you should both be able to function like civil adults. Maybe not friends, but at least... acquaintances. Whatever that word means when itâs wrapped in history and the kind of silence thatâs never quite neutral.
His phone buzzes once against his chest, and he lifts it almost automaticallyâmore out of habit than hope, not expecting much. Maybe a curt response, a one-liner soaked in professionalism, something non-committal that closes the loop without opening any new ones.
But what he finds isnât quite that.
His eyes skim the message quickly the first time, catching on your usual clipped humour, your dry phrasing. Then he sees the P.S.âand it stops him cold.
He stares at the line, the digits at the end anchoring his attention. His thumb hovers over the screen, then lowers.
He reads it again. Then again.
It takes him a moment to process that you didnât just replyâyou invited a reply. Not in so many words, but you didnât have to.
He blinks, the message still glowing softly in the palm of his hand, and feels something shiftâsubtle, but undeniable.
You had tried to play it off with that lineââonly if itâs urgentââlike it was a formality, a throwaway detail tossed in for the sake of convenience. But Sunghoon knows you better than that.
You donât do anything without intention.
Even back then, when things were good, your words were measuredânever careless. Whether it was drafting an essay or choosing what to say during a fight, you always calculated the weight of your words before you let them go. He used to admire that about you, even when it frustrated him. Especially when it frustrated him.
So no, he doesnât believe the number was a casual addition. Not from you. Not after all this time. You wanted him to see it. You wanted him to know.
He sits up slowly, the email still open in his hand, thumb brushing absentmindedly over the edge of the screen. For a second, he considers calling. Just to hear your voice againâto see if it sounds any different now that everything between you has changed.
But he doesnât.
Instead, he just quietly saves the number into his contactsâY/N, no emojis, no titles. Just your name, plain and familiar, like itâs never really left his phone at all.
His thumb hovers for a moment as the screen confirms the entry, and then he leans back, eyes flicking toward the ceiling, letting his mind wanderâalmost involuntarilyâthrough an absurd list of scenarios.
He snorts softly.
What counts as urgent, exactly?
Would âit was raining and thought of youâ qualify? Or maybe, âaccidentally bought your favourite chips at the convenience store and theyâre expiring tomorrowâ?
His mouth twitches at the thought, the corner of a smile he doesnât let fully form.
Heâs not going to reach outânot tonight. Whatever this fragile, undefined space is between you now, he doesnât want to risk crowding it too soon. He knows better than to force something still learning how to exist.
But the number is there now, quietly saved, tucked away like a folded letter waiting for the right moment to be opened. And thatâsimple as it isâis more than he had before.
So he stays where he is, stretched across the quiet of his apartment, letting the silence lingerânot as a weight, but as something strangely tender. Something almost sacred. Because it no longer feels like the end of something.
It feels like the pause before a beginning.
And he waits.
Just like you did for him all those years ago.
The airport is chaos, as airports always areâthe dull roar of overlapping conversations, the mechanical drawl of flight announcements overhead, the clatter of suitcase wheels rolling over the slick, polished floors. But somehow, in the middle of it all, it feels like thereâs a bubble around the two of you, a quiet space carved out by the sheer force of everything youâre not saying.
Sunghoon stands a few feet away from the security gate, backpack slung over one shoulder, his boarding pass crumpled slightly in his hand from how tightly heâs holding it. Mr and Mrs Park are with him, tearfully fussing over their sonâMrs Park tugging at the hem of the jacket that's too big for him, hanging awkwardly off his frame in a way that makes him look both older and younger at the same timeâlike heâs already halfway into another life and trying to pretend he isnât scared.
You stand nearby too, arms crossedânot out of defiance, but because itâs the only way you can keep yourself from falling apart. You donât trust your hands otherwise.
When Sunghoon finally turns to you, you force yourself to smile.
âYouâll do great,â you say, forcing your voice to stay steady even though the lump in your throat makes it hard to breathe.
He smiles at thatâa soft, tired thing that doesnât quite reach his eyes.
âI donât know about that,â he says, laughing under his breath, glancing down at his shoes like the words he really wants to say are hiding somewhere in the scuffed leather.
Your heart twists painfully at the sight.
And then he steps closer, close enough that you have to tilt your head back to look at him properly, close enough that you can see every crease of worry etched into his usually smooth expression.
âCan youâŠâ he starts, then falters, running a hand through his hair the way he always does when heâs nervous. âWill you wait for me?â
The words hang between you, raw and clumsy and completely un-Sunghoon-like. No flourish. No ice. Just a boy asking for something he doesnât know how to promise in return.
You look at him thenânot the rising athlete, not the polished skater everyone else seesâbut the boy who once spent three hours helping you build a wobbly IKEA desk, who remembered exactly how you take your coffee, who mumbled useless astronomy facts at two in the morning when neither of you could sleep.
And you nod.
Because how could you say no?
âOf course,â you say.
He exhales, and for a moment, it looks like he wants to say something moreâsomething that could make this easier, something that could anchor you to the idea that this distance will be temporary, survivable. But whatever it is, he swallows it down.
Instead, he squeezes your hand once, quick and clumsy, like heâs afraid that if he holds on any longer, he wonât be able to let go at all.
Then he steps back. One step. Two. The space between you widens in a way that feels irreversible.
You stand there, rooted to the spot, as he turns toward the security line, his figure blending into the tide of travellers wheeling suitcases and juggling passports. He doesn't look back, and you tell yourself thatâs a good thingâthat itâs easier this way.
You donât realise youâre holding your breath until his silhouette finally disappears around a corner, swallowed up by the sterile white lights and directional signs pointing toward Departures.
Only then do you let yourself breathe out, shaky and slow.
The airport continues moving around youâannouncements, crying babies, the low thrum of engines preparing to carry people across oceansâbut somehow, it feels like everything inside you has stilled. Like the moment he walked away, something small and quiet inside you went with him.
You watch another plane lift off in the distance, disappearing into the clouds. And even after his parents insists you go home, you stay a little longer, long enough for the ache to settle, long enough to be sure you wonât cry until youâre safely back in the taxi home. Pretending that saying âof courseâ didnât cost you more than you could admit at the time.
Because if thereâs one thing you promised him, and yourself, itâs that you would be strong enough to wait.
Except you didnât know what waiting would mean at that time.
You were confident this long-distance thing could work.
After all, at that point, you and Sunghoon had been dating for over three years. You knew each otherâs routines, each otherâs moods, each otherâs silences. You had weathered exams, competitions, internships, stupid fights about stupid thingsâsurely, you thought, an ocean between you couldnât undo what you had built.
You believed that love, real love, was supposed to be enough.
But love, you will learn, isnât always louder than distance.
And sometimes, people leaveânot because they stop loving you, but because their dreams need a bigger sky than you can give them.
You told yourself the time difference was just an inconvenience. That the occasional missed calls, the shorter texts, the longer silences were normal. That he was just busy. Tired. Adjusting.
And for a while, you made it work.
You sent each other photosâyour morning coffee, his late-night practices. You had clumsy video calls where the signal dropped and youâd laugh and call each other back like it was no big deal. You celebrated tiny victories over Wi-Fi connections, reassured yourselves that the months would pass quickly, that this was temporary.
You even started saving for plane tickets, bookmarking dates and circling holidays on your calendar, telling anyone who asked that yes, it was hard, but yes, it was worth it.
You meant it.
You meant every word.
But what they donât tell you about long distanceâthe thing you only learn the hard wayâis that sometimes love isnât enough when the other person starts building a life youâre no longer part of in the daily, ordinary ways. When your names are still tied together but your days stop overlapping. When missing someone becomes part of your routine instead of your exception.
And Sunghoonâsweet, steady, ambitious Sunghoonâwas chasing a dream that required all of him.
There wasnât much left over.
Not for you. Not for the late-night phone calls he stopped picking up. Not for the promises that started to stretch thinner and thinner until they broke without either of you realising it at first.
You waited.
You waited longer than you should have.Â
And even now, some stubborn, aching part of you still remembers how sure you were at that airport when you said, of course.
Because you werenât just waiting for him to come back. You were waiting for the version of him that leftâto stay the same.
But some things, youâve learned, arenât meant to be held in place.
And some people, no matter how tightly you hold onto them, will always belong to a future you donât get to walk into with them.
Now, sitting at your desk, staring at the faint glow of the monitor, you canât help but drag a hand over your face in frustration. God. What was I thinking?
You lean back in your chair, the cheap leather groaning under the movement, and close your eyes for a moment, wishing you could rewind the last ten minutes and snatch the email back before it left your outbox. Before it could make you look like the fool you swore you wouldnât be again.
Because re-reading it now, all you can see is desperation threaded between the lines. You might as well have stamped please still care about me in bold at the bottom.
You told yourself it was nothing. A witty reply. A polite thanks for the coffee. A number offered up casuallyâas if you wouldnât notice whether he used it or not.
But you know better.
And so would he.
The truth is, no matter how many years have passed, no matter how much you've convinced yourself you've moved on, a part of you still folds too easily around him. Still softens at the memory of a boy who once asked you to wait for him, and the girl you wereâthe one foolish enough to believe that waiting would be enough.
You hate that about yourself sometimes. Hate that a few casual words from him, a coffee, an email, still have the power to make you feel like youâre standing in that airport all over again, arms crossed against your chest, watching him walk away.
You open your eyes, exhaling slowly. The office hums around youâphones ringing, fingers tapping on keyboards, Yunah shouting about deadlines across the bullpenâand youâre struck by how absurd it is that your life has continued without him, and yet he still feels like an unfinished chapter you never really closed.
You tell yourself itâs fine. That heâll probably ignore the number. That heâll chalk it up to courtesy and leave it at that.
But deep down, you know itâs too late for pretending.
Because no matter how you dress it upâwitty, polite, indifferentâyou handed him a door. And now, whether he steps through it or not, youâll have to live with the fact that you opened it first.
The days pass, slow and uneven, the way they always do when youâre waiting for something youâre trying to pretend youâre not waiting for.
You throw yourself into workâchurning out profiles, editing pieces that arenât yours, picking up assignments nobody else wants just to fill the spaces in your mind. You sit through endless editorial meetings, nodding at all the right moments, scribbling half-hearted notes in the margins of your planner like it matters. You grab late-night convenience store dinners with Minju and Yunah, laughing at their jokes even when your chest feels hollow.
You live.
You function.
You check your email more often than necessary, always under the excuse of work, even though you know exactly what youâre hoping to find. You flick through your phone sometimes tooâhalf-scrolling through newsfeeds, half-wondering if maybe, just maybe, thereâll be a notification that isnât there.
But Sunghoon doesnât reply. No email. No text. No missed call.
Nothing.
And slowly, inevitably, you start to fold the hope away. The way you fold an old jumper you know youâll never wear again but canât quite bring yourself to throw out.
You told him he could reach out only if it was urgent. And clearly, youâre not urgent.
Maybe you never were.
And you take it as a signâmaybe the only sign youâre going to getâthat you should finally do yourself a favour and move on.
Because apparently, you havenât. Not really. Not after all this time. You didnât expect his return to unravel you like thisâto pull at threads you thought you had stitched up long ago. But it has. And you canât pretend anymore.
So youâll move on for real this time. Not the half-hearted version where you paste on smiles and throw yourself into late nights at the office, where you tell your friends youâre fine while secretly checking your phone at red lights, while pretending you donât still wonder if he thinks about you too. Not the kind where you fold the memory of him into smaller, quieter compartments of your mind, pretending it's just nostalgia, not hope.
No, this time, you tell yourself, it will be the real kindâthe clean break, the neat ending.
And for a while, you almost believe it.
Until your phone buzzes, cutting through the quiet.
Just a single, unremarkable vibration against the desk, one you almost ignoreâbecause itâs late, because youâre tired, because youâre used to the world asking for pieces of you at all hours now. You glance at the screen without thinking, already preparing to swipe it away like a dozen other notifications.
But then you see it.
Unknown Number.
For a moment, your brain stalls, fumbling for a rational explanationâmaybe itâs a delivery update, maybe itâs a scam, maybe itâs one of those automated text from some subscription you forgot to cancel.
Still, your hand moves on instinct, betraying every rational excuse you try to conjure.
You unlock your phone.
And you read:
Hey. Itâs me.
Not sure if this counts as urgent.
But... I saw something today that made me think of you.
Do you have time?
Your breath catches in your throat, sharp and sudden, and the world around you blurs for a secondâthe hum of fluorescent lights overhead, the muffled buzz of printers, the distant tap-tap-tap of someone typing across the officeâall of it fading under the weight of those few simple lines.
You read it again. And again. As if the words might rearrange themselves into something else if you look long enough.
But they donât.
Itâs him. Sunghoon.Â
Reaching out not because he had to. Not because it was "urgent."
But because he thought of you.
And even though your mind races ahead with every reason you should be cautious, with every reminder of how long it took to rebuild the parts of yourself he once splintered, you already knowâdeep in your chest, in the place you don't let logic touchâthat youâre going to answer.
You donât let yourself overthink it this time.
No typing, erasing, retyping. No staring at the blinking cursor until it mocks you into silence. You just move your thumbs over the screen, letting instinct take the lead before the part of you thatâs scared has a chance to intervene.
You type:
You:
You should probably introduce yourself next time.
"Itâs me" doesnât really help if I donât already know how you text.
And depends.
Is it something worth hearing about?
You barely have time to set your phone down before it buzzes again.
Sunghoon:
Iâm free tonight if you are. Just coffee. Nothing crazy.
If you want.
There's also a favour I'd like to ask.
You sit there, blinking at the last line, reading it twice as your mind scrambles to catch up.Â
A favour?
It throws you off more than the coffee invitation itself. Coffee is easyâcoffee is surface-level, casual, the kind of thing you can chalk up to old acquaintances being civil. But a favour? A favour means intention. A favour means heâs thought about this. About you.
Your fingers hover over the keyboard, your pulse quickening in that annoyingly familiar way you wish you had outgrown by now. Youâre not naive enough to think this is anything more than it is. He probably just needs help connecting with someone, getting a contact, maybe even needs something for the press if heâs easing back into the public eye.
Still, a part of you hesitates.
Not because you donât want to go. But because youâre not sure if you trust yourself not to want more.
You take a breath, steadying your thumb over the screen.
You type:
You:
Where and what time?
The message sends before you can talk yourself out of it, and you drop your phone onto the desk, face down again, like itâs too hot to hold onto for even a second longer. You exhale a long, slow breath, staring up at the ceiling, trying to calm the restless beat of your heart.
Because tonight, you realise, youâre going to see him again.
Not as professionals. Not as a lingering what-if. Not as a name floating in your inbox or coincidental meetings.
But real. Present.
And no matter how much you tell yourself that youâre readyâthat youâre different nowâyou know a part of you is still bracing for impact.
Itâs your spotâhe knows that now. He also knows you probably donât come here because the coffee is any goodâyou always made that clear with a scrunched nose and a dry comment about âcaffeine being caffeineââbut because itâs close, convenient, easy to fold into your day without having to think too hard.
He settles into a table near the window, where the soft spill of the sunset stretches across the tabletop in muted golds and pinks. He sits with his backpack slung over the back of the chair, a cup of hot tea resting untouched in front of him, and for a brief moment, he looks less like the man youâve been writing aboutâand more like the boy you used to know.
He wasn't a hundred percent sure you'd say yes to meeting him. When he sent that message, part of him assumed it would disappear into the void, swallowed up by everything unsaid between you.Â
But you answered. And you did in the way you always didâdry, sharp, a little guardedâbut underneath it all, you answered.
He glances at the door again, even though he knows itâs still early. His knee bounces under the table, betraying the nervous energy he canât shake, no matter how carefully he tries to hide it under indifference.
Maybe tonight wonât fix anything. Hell, itâs not meant to.
But youâre showing up.
And somehow, that already feels like more than he deserves.
The bell above the door chimes, sharp and familiar, cutting through the low hum of conversation and clinking cups.
Sunghoon feels a tight tug in his chest, something that pulls and aches all at once, because he remembers.
He remembers how you used to tease him for always choosing the seats against the wall, how you said he acted like a cat looking for the best vantage point, somewhere he could see everything without being seen himself.
He remembers you pretending to sulk when he dragged you to the corner booths instead of the bright window seats you preferredâand how, secretly, you never really minded.
And now, without even thinking, youâre still looking for him in the places where you remember him being.
And without even realising, he had chosen a place where he remembered you liking.
He doesnât call out to you.
He just watches.
Watches the slight purse of your lips when you donât spot him right away. Watches the way your fingers tap lightly against the strap of your bagâan old nervous habit heâd forgotten he rememberedâlike your body is leaking out the anxiety you refuse to show on your face.
And God, you lookâ
You look pretty.
Not in the polished, deliberate way people try to look when they know theyâre being watched.
You look real.
Soft in the fading light, like the world around you hasnât quite caught up to you yet. Your hair a little mussed from the breeze outside, your cheeks flushed with the leftover heat of the setting sun. Thereâs a quietness to you, a rawnessâlike youâre still made of the same stubborn hope and sharp edges he used to love, except time has worn them softer, gentler, more dangerous in ways he doesnât even have the words for.
You look like a memory heâs been trying not to miss.
You look like the version of you heâs been carrying around all these yearsâ
Real. Tired, maybe. A little guarded. But still luminous in a way he canât describe without sounding ridiculous, without pulling old, unfinished feelings up from the place he thought heâd buried them for good.
Something shifts in his chest, painful and sweet all at once.
Because in the handful of minutes heâs spent sitting here convincing himself to stay calm, convincing himself that this was just coffee and nothing moreâyouâve walked through the door and reminded him, without trying, exactly why forgetting you had never really been an option.
He straightens slightly in his chair, the leg of the table bumping softly against his knee.
And for a momentâjust a momentâSunghoon forgets why heâs here at all.
Sunghoon watches the hesitation flicker across your faceâthe way you linger a fraction too long at every corner booth, the way your fingers brush nervously against the hem of your jacket, like youâre grounding yourself without even realising it.
And thenâfinallyâyour gaze catches his.
The moment stretches, taut and delicate, like a held breath.
You blink, as if to double-check itâs really him. Your lips part slightly in surprise, a faint hitch of breath visible even from where heâs sitting, and for a second, neither of you moves, both suspended in that thin, brittle space where time slows down just enough to make you feel the weight of it.
You glance at the window beside him, your eyes catching the reflection of the streetlights bleeding into the glass, and for a moment, confusion flickers briefly across your face.
Thatâs why you didnât spot him immediately when you walked in.
You werenât looking by the windowsâyou never had to.
And without him saying a word about it, you realise itâanother small, unconscious version of Park Sunghoon you were still holding onto without even realising it.Â
A version you thought was set in stone, carved into your memories.Â
A version you never prepared yourself to outgrow.
Sunghoon doesnât smile. He doesnât look away.
He just meets your gaze head-on, steady and quiet, letting the moment settle between you without rushing to fill it with anything easy or safe.
You square your shoulders after a heartbeat too long, forcing your body into motion, and start making your way towards him. Your steps are measured, careful, almost cautious, but thereâs no mistaking the way your fingers clench slightly against the strap of your bag, no hiding the guarded look in your eyes that says youâre still ready to turn around and walk away if this goes wrong.
He stays seated as you approach, watching you close the distance between you, something tight and aching lodged in his chest, something heâs too afraid to name yet.
When you reach the table, you donât sit down right away.
You just stand there, staring at him for a moment longer, as if trying to gauge how much of the boy you used to love is still sitting there, underneath the polished surface heâs learned to wear like a second skin.
âYou found me,â he says, voice low and almost shy, like he's not sure if he's allowed to sound relieved.
You shrug, shifting your weight onto your other foot. âDidnât think youâd make it so easy,â you reply, your tone light, almost teasing, but thereâs no real bite behind the wordsâjust a tired kind of fondness that feels too familiar, too stubborn to shake.
And just like that, some of the tension splintersâ
Not all of it.
Not enough to call this easy.
But enough to remind both of you why youâre here.
Wordlessly, you pull out the chair across from him and sit down, setting your bag carefully by your feet.
Sunghoonâs hand twitches slightly against his cup, the tea inside long cold by now, but he doesnât seem to notice.
You fold your hands in your lap, lift your chin just a little, and say, âAlright. Youâve got my time. Letâs hear it.â
âYouâre not even curious what reminded me of you?â Sunghoon asks, one brow lifted, his voice dipping into that familiar, teasing cadence you used to know so well.
Of course youâre curious. Of course your mind has been spinning endless possibilities from the second you read his first text. But youâre not about to hand that over to him so easilyânot when youâre still trying to convince yourself youâre not sitting here half-holding your breath.
You lean back slightly in your chair, crossing one leg over the other in an easy, breezy posture you absolutely donât feel, and shrug. âWhat reminded the oh-so-charismatic Ice Prince of me?â
The corner of his mouth lifts into a smirkâthe same infuriating, boyish smirk that once had the power to completely undo you, the one you thought time and bitterness would have dulled. It hasnât. Not even a little.
He doesnât say anything right away.
Instead, he reaches into the inside pocket of his coat, moving slowly, drawing out the suspense just because he knows itâll get under your skin.Â
When he pulls out a small box and sets it gently on the table between you, you blink down at it in surprise.
Itâs a Popmart blind box.
The exact kind you used to collect like trophies after long study sessions or bad days, back when you needed small, ridiculous joys to get you through.
You stare at the familiar design, the cutesy pastel art printed on the cardboard, the gleaming plastic seal still unbrokenâand for a second, itâs like the years peel away and youâre back in a different time, a different version of yourself. One who used to drag Sunghoon to random mall kiosks and lecture him on the probability rates of getting the secret rare figure, completely oblivious to how patient he was being with you.
He watches your reaction carefully, elbows propped lazily on the table, but his eyes are sharpâsearching.
âYouâre kidding,â you murmur, finally breaking the silence, your voice somewhere between disbelief and something softer, something a little too close to fondness.
He shrugs, that infuriating smirk deepening. âSaw it at a convenience store on my way to practice this morning.â
You shake your head, the smallest, almost unwilling laugh slipping out of you. âYou used to roast me for buying these.â
âAnd yet,â he says, tapping the box lightly with one finger, âI bought one almost every time I passed that Popmart near my place. For research purposes, obviously.â
You roll your eyes, but you canât fight the smile pulling at your lips, nor the way your chest tightens at the thought of itâhim, in another city, another life, still thinking of you in the small, quiet ways that mattered when words werenât enough.
For a moment, neither of you says anything. The box sits between you, unopened, full of some stupid, mass-produced trinket that somehow feels heavier than anything else in the room.
You glance up at him, and heâs already looking at youânot with expectation, not with the smugness you were half-braced forâbut with something quieter. Something careful.
âThank you,â you say, the words slipping out before you can overthink them, barely more than a whisper, but somehow steady. Itâs the only thing you can conjure in the moment, the only thing that feels honest and real enough to offer. Youâre a little surprised you manage to say it out loud at all, your throat tight with all the other things youâre not ready to admit.
Sunghoon leans back in his chair, his eyes bright with something that looks dangerously close to amusement as he tilts his head at you.
âItâs the least you could say,â he teases, tapping the box again with his fingertip, âafter I spent almost twenty dollars on that.â
The exaggerated grumble in his voice cracks the tension like a hairline fracture, and before you can stop yourself, a laugh escapes your lipsâshort, surprised, but real.
The sound of it seems to hit him harder than you expect.
For a second, he just stares at you, like heâs been momentarily stunned, like some long-frozen part of him is trying to remember how to breathe properly.
And if you werenât so caught up in trying to pull your own defences back into place, you might have noticed the way his posture softens, just slightly, as if the laugh is something fragile heâs afraid of shattering.
You smirk, shaking your head as you reach out and nudge the box with two fingers, sliding it just slightly toward you.
âYou bought this to bribe me into helping you with that favour, didnât you?â you say, lifting your gaze to meet his fully now, your voice laced with teasing accusation but your heart still hammering too hard against your ribs.
He has the audacity to look mock-offended, clutching his chest like youâve wounded him. âBribe?â he echoes. âWow. No faith in me at all.â
âYou literally showed up with a Popmart like some kind of peace offering-slash-negotiation tactic,â you point out, arching an eyebrow.
âAnd yetâŠâ he trails off, a slow grin tugging at his mouth, âyouâre still sitting here. Youâre still talking to me.â
You roll your eyes, but you canât help the way the corner of your mouth betrays you, tilting upward just enough for him to catch it.
He sees it.
Of course he does.
And somewhere, buried deep under the layers of sarcasm and half-healed scars, you know he feels it tooâthe tiny, reckless flicker of something that neither of you is quite brave enough to name yet.
âSo?â you prompt, your fingers idly tracing the rim of the coffee cup in front of you, the casualness in your voice a little too forced even to your own ears.
Sunghoon shifts in his seat, the easy smirk fading just slightly as he straightens, as if the weight of what heâs about to say demands a little more gravity.
âI wanted to ask if you could help me write another article,â he says, the words slow and deliberate, like heâs weighing each one carefully before letting it leave his mouth.
You blink, surprised but trying not to show it. âWhat about?â
He leans back, exhales once through his nose, and says it:
âIâm going to be participating in the Olympic tryouts.â
The announcement hits harder than you expect, knocking the air from your lungs for half a second. You sit up a little straighter, your mind racing to process it, because the last time you talked he was adamant he wasnât preparing for the season. He said it so easily, so convincingly, that you hadnât thought to press harder.
Sunghoon must catch the flicker of confusion across your face, because he adds quickly, almost defensively, âItâs not a comeback. Not really.â
You narrow your eyes slightly. âWhat do you mean?â
He pauses.
You can see itâthe hesitation. The way his shoulders tense just the slightest bit, the way he looks down at his hands like the answer is written somewhere in the faint lines of his palms.
âIââ he starts, then stops, chewing the inside of his cheek in frustration. His fingers curl lightly against the table, the same nervous tic heâs had since he was a teenager trying to explain why he bombed a practice session.
âI just need you to write the article for me,â he says instead, voice softer now, almost tentative. âPlease?â
Hereâs the thing about Sunghoon.
Heâs always been good at giving you just enoughâjust enough smiles, just enough softness, just enough quiet promises without ever saying the words aloudâto make you feel like maybe, just maybe, there was something sturdy here.
Something real.
Something worth holding onto.
And then, just when you reached for it, just when you let yourself believe you were on solid ground, he would pull back.
Carefully.
Effortlessly.
Leaving you standing there, empty-handed, wondering if you were the one who had leaned in too far, if you had asked for too much, if you had misread all of it from the start.
It wasnât cruelty.
It was worse than cruelty.
It was kindness, just enough to hurt. Just enough to make you doubt whether it was ever real.
You lean back slightly, arms crossing over your chest, not because you want to be defensive but because you need the distance, need something to ground you against the sudden rush of old feelings. âWhy me?â you ask, genuinely. âThe last time I wrote something for you, you were too busy complaining about the photos I used to actually say thank you.â
Itâs a weak jab, but you both know the real question youâre asking has nothing to do with photos.
Itâs why now?
Itâs why me, when you could have gone to anyone else?
Sunghoon meets your gaze without flinching, his expression surprisingly earnest.
âBecause,â he says simply, âI trust you.â
You open your mouth to say somethingâsomething sarcastic, something to deflectâbut he cuts you off before you can.
âI trust that you wonât spin this into something else. I trust that youâll tell it the way it is. Not the way people want to hear it. Not the way the sponsors or the federations want it dressed up.â His voice stays calm, but thereâs something raw underneath it, something that edges dangerously close to vulnerability. âJust⊠the truth. Thatâs all I want.â
You stare at him across the table, your fingers curling slightly around the rim of your cup, and for a moment, you don't say anything. You just sit there, letting the request hang in the air between you, heavy and trembling like a thread pulled too tight.
Part of youâthe part that's bruised and still sore from all the years of learning the hard wayâwants to say no. Wants to lean back in your chair, laugh it off, tell him to hire a better PR team like every other professional athlete with something to prove. Wants to remind him, and maybe yourself, that youâre not the same girl who would have dropped everything the moment he asked.
Because you know better now. You know how this story goes. You say yes, you step closer, you open the door just a crackâand he slips through, quietly, effortlessly, until you're standing in the wreckage again, wondering how you didnât see it coming.
But another part of youâthe stubborn part, the hopeful part you haven't managed to kill off no matter how hard you've triedâcanât quite look away from him. From the way heâs sitting there, tension riding his shoulders, fingers tapping a restless rhythm against his cup. From the way he askedâno bravado, no posturing, just a simple, almost clumsy honesty that feels so rare you almost don't know what to do with it.
You glance toward the window, watching the way the last blush of sunset catches against the glass, and for a moment you imagine what it would feel like to say yes.
Not because you owe him. Not because youâre chasing the past.
But because, somewhere deep down, you still believe in telling stories the way they deserve to be told.
You still believe some promises are worth making again, even if it terrifies you.
Your stomach twists, your chest aching with the sharpness of it, but you find yourself already knowing the answer before your mouth even moves.
You inhale slowly, letting the silence stretch for just a beat longer than necessary, then exhale through your nose, pushing aside the complicated tangle of feelings you don't have the energy to unravel tonight.
"Fine," you say at last, voice even, businesslike, like you're trying to convince both of you that this is just another assignment and not something heavier slipping under your skin. "Get your assistant to email me the details. Iâll personally send over the draft before pushing it to the editorial team."
You reach for your cup as you say it, needing something to do with your hands, something to anchor yourself to this new line youâre drawing in the sand.
But before you can even take a sip, Sunghoon leans forward slightly, resting his forearms on the table, his expression soft but firm in a way that pins you in place more effectively than anything else could.
âDon't bother,â he says simply. âYou can just publish it directly.â
You pause, the cup poised halfway to your mouth, his words hanging there between you like an invisible thread youâre not sure you want to pull. You lower the cup slowly, setting it back down against the saucer with a faint clink, buying yourself a second to think. To breathe. To understand.
You search his face for the catch, for the usual hesitation he so often laced into moments like thisâthose little cracks where you could see him calculating the safest move, the one that let him stay just close enough without ever being vulnerable.
But this time, thereâs none of that. Just him, sitting there, arms folded over the table, looking at you like heâs already decided.
"Are you sure?" you ask, the words slipping out lighter than you feel them. "No proofread? No management red flags?"
Sunghoonâs lips twitch into a smileâsmall, wry, but not mocking. If anything, he looks... relieved that you asked. Like he was expecting the pushback, maybe even hoping for it, because it means youâre still cautious enough to take this seriously.
"Iâm sure," he says simply.Â
A muscle ticks once in your jaw, the urge to press further bubbling up, but you force yourself to stop. And in itâs place, a lump forms in your throat, sharp and unexpected, because if thereâs one thing you didnât expect to find tonightâcertainly not here, not like thisâit was trust.
Not just trust in your professionalism. Not just trust in your writing.
Trust in you.Â
Because whatever else has changed, you can feel it: This matters to him.
Not the article. Not the media coverage.
This.
Reaching out to you.
Trusting you with the fragile, unfinished thing he's trying to build for himself again, knowing full well you could burn him with it.
And somehow, hearing him say itâso plainly, so quietlyâmakes it harder to breathe for a moment. Because even after everything, even after the distance and the silences and the growing pains you both carried separately, some part of him still sees you as the person who would protect his story. The way you once protected his heart.
And you donât know what terrifies you moreâthe fact that he still trusts you, or the fact that, deep down, you still want to be the person worthy of that trust.
It rattles something loose inside youâthe version of yourself you thought you had to kill off to survive him once.
You shift slightly in your seat, trying to hold onto your composure, trying not to let him see the way those simple wordsâthose few inches of offered faithâshake the foundation youâve been standing on for years.
"Alright," you say at last, keeping your voice light, controlled, even though your hands tremble ever so slightly beneath the table.
"But don't blame me if you don't like how candid I get."
Sunghoon smiles at that, the edges of his mouth curling in that way that makes your chest hurt for reasons youâre too tired to name.
"I wouldnât ask if I didnât mean it," he says simply.
You let out a soft breath you hadnât even realised you were holding and glance down at your watch, the second hand ticking steadily forward. Itâs getting late. And even though neither of you says it, you both know this fragile truce youâve built tonight can only stretch so far before it snaps under the weight of everything youâre still not ready to talk about.
You stand, gathering your bag with slow, deliberate movements, and Sunghoon rises too, out of habit more than necessity. Always the gentleman, even when he had no right to be.
You sling your bag over your shoulder, tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear, and look at him one last time.
Thereâs so much you could say. So much you shouldnât.
So instead, you just offer a nod. Small. Measured. Almost formal.
"Iâll be in touch," you say.
And before he can say anything that might make this harder, you turn and walk toward the door, the cool night air rushing in as you step outside.
You donât look back.
But you feel itâthe weight of his eyes following you, lingering in the space you leave behind.
Youâre back in that tiny, overheated apartment off campusâthe one where the windows always fogged up too easily and nothing ever really dried properly unless you left it near the fan. The scent of burnt popcorn still clings faintly to the air from earlier that evening, and the dull hum of traffic bleeds in through the thin walls, but even that doesnât distract from the tension steadily rising in the room like pressure before a storm.
Sunghoon is slouched on the couch with one hand tangled in his hair, exhaling yet another sighâhis fifth in the past ten minutes. Youâve been watching him carefully from across the room, patiently waiting for him to reach out first. But after three years together, you know better. Park Sunghoon doesnât do well with vulnerability. He never has.
"Somethingâs on your mind, isnât it?" you ask, finally breaking the silence as you settle down beside him on the couch. He flinches at your sudden proximity, as if this isnât your apartment, as if heâs only just realised youâre still here.
He doesnât look at you when he answers. "No, Iâm just tired from training, thatâs all."
You let out a breathânot quite a laugh, not quite a sigh. âYou know, three years is a long time. Long enough for me to know when youâre lying to me. Just because I donât call you out on it doesnât mean I donât see it happening.â
That makes him freeze. His hand stills in his hair, and his jaw goes tight.
âPark Sunghoon,â you say slowly, letting each syllable settle like a weight between you. The name sounds foreign in your mouthâformal, distant, pointed.
He flinches. Not visibly, not dramaticallyâbut you see it. A slight stiffening in his posture. The barest flicker of guilt behind his eyes. Because he knows what it means when you use his full name.
You only ever say it like that when youâre done waiting.
âYouâre keeping something from me.â The words come out flat and exhausted, with none of the softness youâve been clinging to for weeksâbecause whatever this thing is, whatever heâs hiding, itâs starting to rot the air between you.
And youâre too tiredâtoo frayed around the edges from all the late-night phone calls that ended too early, the dinners where he barely looked up from his plate, the countless conversations that brushed against the truth but never quite touched it.
He blinks at you like youâve just blindsided him. "Babe, what are you talking about?"
"Donât do that," you snap, your voice rising before you can stop it. "Donât act like Iâm imagining things. Youâve been distant for weeks. You barely look me in the eye when we talk, and every time I try to ask whatâs going on, you throw me the same half-hearted excusesââIâm tired,â âTrainingâs been intense.â You expect me to just accept that forever?â
His jaw flexes, and this time you see itâclear as dayâthat flicker of guilt he canât hide fast enough.
Your stomach sinks.
You soften your tone, even if it cracks on the way out. "Sunghoon, weâre supposed to be in this together. I want to be there for you. Please."
He hesitates, swallowing hard like the words are caught in his throat. "IâI received a training offer."
For a second, you just blink at him, caught off guard. "Thatâs great, Hoon. Why would you hide that from me?"
He doesnât answer right away, and for a second you thinkâmaybe itâs nothing. Maybe he really is just tired from training and youâre overreacting.
But then, almost reluctantly, he says it.
âItâs in Spain.â
The words land heavy between you.
Spain.
Not just a different city. Not even just another country. Another continent. Another time zone. Another life.
The air leaves your lungs before you can stop it. Not in a dramatic gasp, not in a theatrical wayâbut in a slow, silent collapse, like something inside you just quietly folded in on itself.
If the offerâs in Spain⊠then itâs not just about training. Itâs about moving.
Leaving.
Staying gone.
âWhen were you planning on telling me?â you ask, your voice cracking at the edges despite your best effort to keep it steady. âWere you going to let me find out through someone else? Or just⊠let me sit here, waiting for you to come clean?â
He winces, just slightly. âI didnât know how.â
And thatâs when it really hits you. The worst part isnât the distance. You could handle distance. Youâve done long hours. Late-night calls. Time apart.
Noâthe worst part is that he didnât tell you. That heâs been sitting with this, carrying it silently, while showing up in your apartment like nothingâs changed.
Because this isnât just about fear or nerves or awkward timing.
This is about trust. About the fact that somewhere, deep down, he didnât believe youâd understand. Didnât believe youâd stay.
You feel the sharp sting of that realisation clawing at your chest. Youâve always known Sunghoon wasnât great at talking about hard things, but you thought⊠you thought you were past that stage. You thought you were partners.
âI didnât want to make you worry before I even knew if it was real,â he adds, and the moment stretches thin between youâjust long enough for the ache to settle in properly.
Your voice comes out quieter this time, more hollow. âHow long ago?â
He hesitates. Again. And you already know the answerâs going to hurt.
âA month.â
You blink. Once. Twice. Trying to understand what kind of person holds onto something that big for thirty daysâsharing meals, messages, kissesâwithout so much as a hint.
"A month,â you repeat, because you need to say it out loud to believe it. âYouâve known about this for a month, and you didnât think to tell me?â
He doesnât answer.
And in that silence, your mind fills the blanks for him: You werenât part of the decision. You werenât part of the plan. You were just⊠something temporary. Something not worth factoring in.
You want to yell. You want to cry. You want to disappear.
But instead, all you can do is ask, barely above a whisperâ
âHow long would you be gone?â
âI donât know,â he says. âThe contractâs renewable. Season by season.â
So not just gone.
Possibly gone for good.
Your vision blurs for a momentânot from tears, but from the force of everything hitting you at once: the betrayal, the loneliness, the terrible, gnawing possibility that heâs been slowly easing himself out of this relationship long before Spain ever came into the picture.
"I'm sorry for not telling you earlier... I was scared.â His voice is low, almost breathless, like heâs only just admitting it to himself. His hand reaches out, tentative at first, before settling over yours where it rests on the couch. And you hate itâhow that simple gesture, plain and quiet and embarrassingly overdue, still makes something inside you soften. The bare fucking minimum, and it still sways you.
"Hell, Iâm scared too, Sunghoon," you whisper, not bothering to hide the shake in your voice. "But you shouldâve told me. I deserved to hear it from youânot from the silence thatâs been stretching between us for weeks."
His other hand comes up to run through his hair, eyes squeezing shut for a second. "I donât even know if I want to take it up. I mean, I could stay. I could keep training here in Korea."
You shoot him a lookâsharp, disbelieving, almost angry.
"Are you crazy?" Your voice wavers on the edge of breaking, not because you donât mean it, but because meaning it hurts more than you want to admit. "Itâs a good opportunity, Sunghoon. One youâve worked your whole life for. You should go for it."
He doesnât answer immediately. Just stares at you, searching your face like it holds the answers to every impossible question he hasnât dared to ask. And you know the moment he finds itâthe flicker of fear. The tightness in your smile. The regret you tried so hard to keep buried shows in every inch and crease of your face and he sees it as clear as day.
"I love you, Sunghoon." You say it firmly. Desperately. "And loving you means being there for you. Supporting your dreams. Thatâs what this is. It's not like weâre breaking up, right?"
He reacts instantly. "No! God, no.â
His grip tightens over your hands, voice urgent, pleading.
"I love you too, and I never want to lose you."
You hold his gaze. Let yourself believe himâfor now. Because in this moment, with his hand wrapped around yours and his eyes wide and scared and filled with something real, you need to.
"Thatâs all I needed to know," you say softly.
And it is.
At least, thatâs what you tell yourself.
You eventually came to terms with itâbecause youâre good at rationalising things that hurt. You tell yourself that dreams come with sacrifice. That love, real love, isnât always about staying closeâitâs about staying with someone, even when theyâre far away. That maybe love isnât about convenience, but compromise.
But still⊠you guess, even then, even in that moment where you let him go with your blessingâa part of you already had that small flicker of doubt gnawing quietly at the back of your mind.
Did he see you in the life he was chasing? Or were you just the thing he had to let go of to chase it faster?
The cursor blinks at you, tauntingly. A small, persistent beat on a completely blank page. Like itâs waiting for you to figure out how to write about someone youâve spent years trying not to think about.
Itâs not like this is your first article about him. In fact, the last one made the rounds faster than you expected. People called it raw, honest, even moving. They praised your ability to write âauthentically,â like youâd peeled back layers no other reporter had dared to touch.
Like you knew him.
And you do. Or at least you did.
Canât be that hard to churn out another article about him.
Your gaze drifts to your desk, where a small, unopened box sits tucked to the sideâinnocent, pastel-coloured, with a soft shimmer under the lamp light.
The Popmart.
You blink at it, then let out a quiet laugh. Not bitter. Just tired. Surprised.
Of course he didnât know. Youâd already completed this series over a year ago. Bought the final missing figure off some reseller at a ridiculous markup. Youâd even double-sleeved it in plastic wrap and stuck it on the corner of your shelf, not because you still cared about the collection, but because it had started to feel like proof of something.
Proof that you could finish something on your own. That you could love somethingâand walk away when you needed to. That you didnât need anyone else to give you closure.
And yet⊠here it is. Sitting unopened on your desk, brought to you by the very person you spent years training yourself not to miss.
A memory in a box. A joke you both once shared, delivered too late and too gently.
You pick it up slowly, turning it over in your hand, and smile to yourselfâsmall, worn, a little sad. He still thinks he knows you. Still buys you things like heâs allowed to remember you this closely.
And maybe thatâs the problem.
Because part of you still wants him to.
You're back at the ice rink, your breath catching slightly as the cold air settles into your lungs the moment you step inside. The familiar scent of ice and rubber greets you, sharp and sterile. Itâs quieter todayâno full team practices or busy skaters gliding across the surfaceâjust the soft, distant hum of the facility and the occasional sharp cut of blades against ice.
You texted Sunghoon earlier this week, asking for a favour. A simple photo op, you saidânothing serious. You needed fresh shots for the article. Every news outlet had been recycling the same tired gallery of him from years agoâarms raised in victory at the 2022 Winter Olympics, a candid smile from a post-win press conference, that one dramatic shot with his head bowed in slow-motion grace during a routine. Beautiful images, sure, but outdated. You needed something that showed the version of him now. And if you were being honest with yourself, a small, treacherous part of you just wanted to see him in motion again.
To see the Sunghoon that only existed when he was skating. The one who couldnât hide behind polished interviews and measured words.
He agreed with barely a pause.
Sunghoon: Sure. Come by Thursday. Iâll block the ice for an hour.
So youâre here. The camera you borrowed from your illustrator slung over your shoulder, scarf tucked under your chin, fingers already tingling from the cold. You set your things down near the boards, scanning the empty rink until you spot him.
And there he is.
Sunghoon is already on the ice, warming up with long, fluid strides, his blades carving out familiar patterns beneath him. He hasnât seen you yet. Or maybe he has, and he's just letting you watch first.
Either way, for a moment, you forget youâre here to work.
Because seeing him like thisâalone on the ice, body moving like muscle memory itselfâit tugs something loose in you. Something old and buried but not entirely gone.
And you remember: this is what he was born to do.
Even if it broke both of you along the way.
Without wasting another second, youâre already moving to unzip your camera bag and pull your gear out. You work methodically, slipping off the lens cap, adjusting the settings, checking the battery with a practiced flick of your thumb.
Itâs almost muscle memoryâthis part of you that lives in quiet attention. The last time you held a professional camera like this was for a university project, one that had taken weeks to prepare and execute. Back then, Sunghoon had been your muse tooâsharp lines, steady movement, that inexplicable sense of stillness in motion that made him impossible to look away from.
And now here you are again.
The lens finds him at centre ice, where heâs stretching out a tight muscle in his leg, movements slow and careful, like he knows youâre watching now. Maybe he does. Sunghoon always had a sixth sense for thatâfor when eyes were on him, especially yours.
You angle your lens slightly, tracking the curve of his body, the set of his jaw. Click. The shutter snaps.
He glances over at the sound, a half-smile tugging at his mouthâmischievous, unbothered, almost like heâs posing without trying. But thatâs just how heâs always been. You used to call it his camera face. He used to call you dramatic.
Click.
Sunghoon starts skating again. He doesnât ask for direction, and you donât offer any. You donât need to. You track him through the lens as he glides through a spin, body coiled and precise, before he launches into a clean double axel that lands with barely a sound. The shutter clicks with each motion, capturing his lines, the angles, the fleeting expressions that flash across his face like sunlight through a curtain.
You capture the way the light reflects off the ice, how the blade flares white against the surfaceâitâs all a picture youâve seen before, but never quite like this. Never with this strange ache nestled beneath your ribs.
Thereâs a momentâbetween the leap and the landingâwhen he looks directly at you.
And it almost knocks the breath out of you.
Because in that split second, it feels like the ice disappears, the years disappear, and itâs just you and him again, the version of him that used to look for your eyes in every crowd. The version that used to skate not just for medals, but for you.
You lower your camera slowly, heart thudding a little louder in your chest than it should.
âDonât tell me that was your good side,â you say, aiming for lightness, adjusting your grip on the camera as you lower it from your eye. The teasing is automatic, familiarâthe kind of banter you used to toss back and forth like a tennis ball, soft enough not to bruise, sharp enough to mean something.
Sunghoon coasts to a stop near the boards, blades carving a soft arc in the ice, his breath visible in the cold air. His chest rises and falls steadily, not from exertionâheâs not pushing himself yetâbut from the kind of focused calm he only ever shows on the ice.
âIt was all my good side,â he replies, deadpan.
You roll your eyes and let out a soft, incredulous laugh, more fond than you mean it to be. Of course it was. Heâs always been like thisâsmug and quietly self-aware in the way only someone who knows theyâre good can be. You roll your eyes, but your lips are already curling upward.
You glance down at the display screen, reviewing the shots, already knowing youâve got what you came forâand maybe a little more than you meant to take.
âTell me I donât look good,â Sunghoon says, a quiet challenge in his voice as he raises an eyebrow, still watching you.
You scoff, lifting the camera again mostly to hide the expression threatening to spread across your face. âJust try not to look like youâre holding a grudge against the ice,â you reply, letting the words land somewhere between playful and pointed.
âI donât,â he says, and this time, thereâs something else there. Something softer. A hesitation in the space between his words. And for a second, it sounds like he means it.
You lower the camera slightly, eyes on him through the frame but not taking the shot. Your voice drops without you meaning it to, just a notch lower, quiet like a memory surfacing. âYou always looked best when you werenât trying,â you murmur, mostly to yourself. A truth youâve always known but never said aloud.
But he hears it.
And he doesnât say anything. Doesnât laugh. Doesnât tease.
He just turns back toward the centre of the rink, pushes off without a word, and starts skating again. You track him as he speeds into another combinationâa triple toe loop followed by a clean step sequence, blades carving elegant arcs into the ice. Youâre almost lost in it, the way the movements catch light, the shutter syncing to the beat of his pace like muscle memory.
Then it happens.
Itâs subtle. Barely a misstep. But you catch itâthe way his landing falters, how his right skate wobbles just slightly before he corrects. It wouldâve been imperceptible to most. But not to you.
Your fingers freeze on the camera, instinctively holding your breath as you watch him pull out of the sequence early, gliding to the boards instead of continuing.
You take a step forward. Itâs instinct more than decision, your feet moving before your pride can catch up. The edge of the rink is cold against your palms as you lean over the barricade slightly, just enough to close the space between you. He looks like he might flinch againâlike heâs caught somewhere between preparing to argue or retreat.
But you donât raise your voice.
You just say, quietly, firmly, âDonât do this.â
His eyes flickerâjust barely. But you see it.
âDonât shut me out like Iâm just another reporter,â you continue. âDonât feed me lines like âitâs nothingâ when you know I see through that better than anyone.â
Still, he says nothing.
So you press harder, voice trembling nowânot with anger, but with the weight of everything youâre holding back.
âI watched you limp, Sunghoon. I saw it. And you think Iâm just going to nod and take your word for it?â
He exhales slowly, but you can tell heâs holding his breath in all the places that matter.
You shift again, trying to find steadiness in your words, even as your chest tightens. âIf the rumours were trueâif youâve been skating on an injury this entire timeâwhy wouldnât you just tell me?â
A pause. A breath. A crack.
âDo you really think I wouldnât have cared?â
That lands.
Because his eyes dropânot in shame, but something closer to fear. Not of you. But of what his silence mightâve already cost him. He doesnât answer, not yet. He just stands there, your words still echoing in the space between you.
He opens his mouth, but nothing comes outâjust a soft, frustrated exhale. His jaw works like heâs chewing on the words, trying to force them out, but they keep getting caught somewhere between his chest and his throat.
Itâs like heâs standing at the edge of somethingâsomething terrifying and unchartedâand he canât bring himself to take the final step. You can almost see the war going on inside him: the urge to speak versus the instinct to protect himself, to guard the parts of him that still feel too raw to share.
For a moment, you think heâs going to brush it off the way he always doesâwrap it up neatly with a nonchalant shrug and a quick change of subject. Like heâs too proud or too scared to let you see that raw, unguarded part of him. It wouldnât be the first time. After all, thatâs what heâs always doneâdeflect, dodge, build walls where there should be bridges.
He couldnât be honest with you when you were dating. What makes you think heâd be any different now, when thereâs even more distance between you?
You almost let him off the hook. Almost open your mouth to tell him itâs fine, that you donât need him to explain himself. Youâre already bracing yourself to swallow the ache, to bury it with everything else thatâs gone unspoken between you. Youâve become good at thatâpretending it doesnât hurt. Pretending the disappointment hasnât lingered all this time, festering quietly just beneath the surface of your every breath.
And Sunghoon sees it.
Sees the way your eyes begin to glaze over, the way your posture shiftsânot quite closed off, but tilting in that direction. A half-given-up look that reads like surrender. Like youâre moments away from letting go completely.
And something in him panics.
A wave of it crashes through his chest, sharp and suffocating. Because if he fucks this upâif he lets you walk away now, after everythingâitâs really over. No more second chances. No more waiting.
He feels the weight of it settle on him all at once. That thisâyouâis the moment he canât afford to lose.
So, unexpectedly for you, he speaks.
âA year after we broke up,â he says, his voice quiet but steady, like heâs forcing himself to stay composed. âI was sent onto a new reality programme in Spain. Kind of like a training feature-slash-documentary series. Mostly for sponsorships.â
He swallows hard, his jaw clenching as he gathers his thoughts. He doesnât look at you when he speaksâhis eyes fixed on some far point beyond the rink, beyond this moment, as if the memory itself is something he canât look at head-on.
âDuring our break⊠there was this skater, Hugo.â
The name clicks instantlyâHugo Franchez. Youâve heard of him. Heâs one of Coach Moralesâ other students, known for his flamboyant public persona and his tendency to stir up drama both on and off the ice. Brash, talented, and unapologetically loud. The kind of guy who thrives on attention, whether itâs positive or negative.
Before you can fully process what that connection means, Sunghoon cuts through your thoughts, almost as if he knows exactly whatâs running through your mind.
âDoesnât matter who he is,â he mutters, voice sharper now, almost defensive. âOne day during practice, that prick made a comment. Said my standards had dropped since you left me.â
âI didnât care at first,â he says. âIt was petty. Stupid. Iâve heard worse. And honestly, he wasnât wrong. I was a mess back then. I didnât care what anyone said.â
Thereâs something tight in his expression, like heâs forcing himself to stay detachedâto treat it like a story heâs telling rather than a wound heâs reopening. You stay silent, but you feel your stomach twist into a knot, cold and heavy. The words settle like stones in your chest, bitter and suffocating. You donât know what to sayâdonât know if anything you could say would make a difference.
âBut then he said something else,â Sunghoon continues, and his voice tightens like itâs physically difficult to push the words out. âHe started talking about you. Jokingâif you can even call it that. Said maybe heâd try you out next. That someone like you didnât need love, just a goodââ
He cuts himself off, hand flexing slightly at his side.
You donât need him to finish. Your breath catches in your chest, a mix of disgust and disbelief building behind your ribs. Your hands tighten on the rinkâs barrier, knuckles turning white. You canât seem to move, your mind struggling to make sense of the sheer audacityâthe venom laced into words that shouldnât even exist.
Sunghoonâs fingers drum restlessly against his thigh, a telltale sign that heâs more upset than heâs letting on. His mouth presses into a thin, unforgiving line, and for a moment, he just breathesâdeep and controlled, like heâs trying not to let his frustration seep through, but thereâs a tremor in his voice that betrays the anger still simmering under the surface.
âHoonâŠâ you whisper, your voice barely audible, raw with sympathy and anger that doesnât know where to land. Sunghoonâs heart leaps at the familiar nickname, but the feeling doesnât last long as heâs reminded of the story heâs telling.
âThatâs when it happened,â he continues, finally lifting his gaze to meet yours. Thereâs something broken there, vulnerability seeping through the cracks in his usual calm. âI snapped. Took a swing at him. Next thing I know, weâre being pulled apart. Cameras everywhere. People yelling. Coach Morales losing his mind. The programme was discontinued after that.â
You take a small, steadying breath, unsure of whether to feel relieved that he defended you or angry that it came to this.
âAnd your injury?â you ask, the words careful, soft, like youâre afraid of breaking whatever fragile, rare occurrence is happening between you.
He hesitates, the tension in his posture growing taut again. âWhen we went down, I didnât even notice it at first. Adrenaline, I guess. I thought it wasnât a big deal. It hurt, yeah, but I could still skate. I figured itâd pass. I didnât want to make it anything more than what it was.â
You watch the shift in his expressionâthe shame, the defensiveness, the echo of pain heâs tried so hard to bury.
âThatâs why you pulled out of the finals,â you say, the pieces clicking together all at once.
He nods.
âTurns out I tore a ligament when I landed wrong. I didnât realise how bad it was until I couldnât even put weight on it. Rehab took months. Had to retrain my whole posture. Thought Iâd never land a clean jump again.â
The silence that follows isnât emptyâitâs heavy with everything unspoken. You can feel the ache settle in your chest, not just for him but for the both of youâthe version of him who tried to hold it all together, and the version of you who never knew.
You want to scream at him for being reckless. For not telling you. For carrying all of this alone when he didnât have to.
But instead, you just stare at him. And he stares back.
Both of you standing there, in the middle of a truth that neither of you asked forâbut one thatâs been waiting, quietly, to be told.
âBut youâre better now, right?â Your voice comes out more hopeful than you intended, a tight, almost desperate note clinging to the words. âI mean⊠youâre skating fine. Youâre prepping for the tryouts, right?â
Sunghoon hesitates, his eyes dropping to his hands where his fingers are still restlessly drumming against his thighs. He swallows hard, and the tension in his jaw doesnât ease.
âBarely,â he admits, the word thick and reluctant. âThe injury relapses whenever I overexert. Some days itâs fine, and other days⊠itâs like Iâm right back to square one. Thereâs no pattern. No warning. Just pain.â
You feel a hollow ache forming in your chest, and you canât help the frustration that bubbles up alongside the worry. âWhy didnât you tell me?â
He looks up at you then, a flicker of something pained and conflicted crossing his face. âBecause it wasnât your problem to deal with. You didnât need to know. I couldnâtââ He breaks off, running a hand through his hair in a way thatâs almost angry. âI couldnât stand the thought of you worrying about me. Not after Iâd already messed things up between us.â
You open your mouth to argue, to tell him thatâs not how this worksâthat you wouldnât have seen him as a burden. But you canât find the words, because deep down, you know Sunghoon has always carried things alone. Itâs just who he is. Protecting people from his own mess, even when it tears him apart.
Heâs still watching you, shoulders tense, waiting for the backlashâlike heâs already bracing himself for the worst.
And you canât help itâyou laugh. Not a happy laugh. Not even a bitter one. Just a short, exhausted sound that slips out before you can stop it.
âThatâs it?â you murmur, shaking your head. âThatâs the reason you didnât tell me? Because you didnât know how to believe that Iâd want to help you?â
Sunghoonâs jaw clenches, and his eyes flicker with something like hurt. âYou donât understandââ
âNo, I donât,â you cut in, and your voice wobbles despite your best efforts to sound composed. âI donât understand how the guy who always told me to be honest, to be open with him, just decides on his own that I wouldnât care? You didnât even give me the chance, Sunghoon.â
He doesnât respond. Just lowers his gaze, looking at his own skates like they might hold an answer.
You take a slow breath, forcing yourself to ease back the frustration threatening to spill over. âYou think I wouldnât have cared? That I wouldâve justâwhatâwritten you off as some failure because you got hurt? After everything?â
His silence feels like an admission. And it hurts more than it should.
âWas I really that easy to leave behind?â you ask, softer now. Your hands curl tighter around the edge of the boards, knuckles turning white. âDid I make it that easy for you?â
He finally looks up, and his expression is raw, stripped down to something you havenât seen in years.
âNo,â he says, almost too fast. âIt wasnât easy. Nothing about leaving was easy. I justâI didnât know how to handle it.â
You swallow the lump in your throat, letting his words sink in. Youâre speechless, your mind a whirlwind of the why and the how and the what ifs that heâs not giving you. Then you zone into what he said: Not after Iâd already messed things up between us.
Heâs aware that the reason for your falling out was because of him.
âNever mind after we broke up. In the last few months of our relationship, why were you so distant then? Why wouldnât you tell me anything? Why did we break up, Sunghoon?â
His head jerks up, eyes widening. For a second, he looks like he didnât expect you to ask, like he thought youâd just let it stay buried. But you canât. Not anymore.
âI didnât mean to lose you,â he whispers, like itâs something heâs only just now realising. âBut by the time I figured out how to come back⊠it felt like I didnât deserve to. Not after everything.â
You open your mouth, then close it again, the words heavy on your tongue. Thereâs a long pauseâweighted, expectant. You shift slightly, pressing your palms against the edge of the rink as if to steady yourself.
And then, quietlyâbecause you need to understand, because you deserve toâyou ask:
âWhat happened in Spain? Please, I need to know.â
Sunghoon meets your gaze and for a second, it really felt like he was finally meeting you halfway. He lets out a shaky breath before he speaks again, voice low and unsteady.
âWhen I left Korea, it was like everything just⊠fell apart. I thought skating would fix it. That if I just pushed through, everything would fall into place. It was going to be worth it, Iâd feel like myself again.â
His voice is quieter when he continues, almost like heâs talking more to himself than to you. âAfter we broke up, I kept telling myself it was for the best. That I needed to focus on skating. But⊠after a while, it didnât matter anymore. I wasnât happy. I wasnât even skating because I loved it. I was just⊠doing it. Because I didnât know what else to do. Because I didnât know who I was if I wasnât moving forward. And without you⊠I just felt stuck.â
The weight of his confession presses down on both of you, heavy and unforgiving. You let your hands fall from where theyâve been gripping the rink barrier, flexing your fingers like youâre trying to shake off the coldâor maybe just the ache creeping into your chest.
Sunghoon skates closer, not enough to close the gap entirely but enough that you can see the way his eyes are glossed over, the pain heâs too proud to let fully show. âI lost you. I lost skating. And I didnât know how to come back from that.â
You donât know how to respond. You donât even know if thereâs anything left to say. So you just stare at him, taking in the vulnerability on his faceâthe way heâs finally, finally letting himself be seen. And despite the anger, despite the sadness, a small part of youâthe part that never really stopped missing himâstarts to unravel.
Because this isnât the Sunghoon you remember leaving.
This is someone whoâs been tryingâfumbling, falling, but tryingâto find his way back.
You donât move, but you donât push him away either. You just stand there, caught between wanting to reach for him and wanting to protect yourself from being hurt again. And Sunghoon sees itâthat hesitation. He takes a shaky breath, his hands falling to his sides, fingers flexing like he doesnât know what to do with them. Heâs still looking at youâeyes wide, raw, like heâs afraid of what your silence means.
Finally, he forces the words out, voice rough and unsteady. âI know it doesnât mean much now, but Iâm really fucking sorry, Y/N.â
His eyes drop again, like he canât bear to see your reaction. âI was an emotional wreck when I realised I was falling out of love with skating. It felt like I was losing the only thing Iâd ever been good at, and I didnât know how to handle that. And in the middle of that mess⊠I didnât know how to give you the love you needed.â
The admission hangs between you, heavy and unguarded, and itâs like youâre seeing the cracks in him for the first timeânot the public figure, not the professional skater, but the boy who had once loved the ice so much that he didnât know who he was without it.
You bite the inside of your cheek, fighting the tremble threatening your voice. âYou should have just⊠told me. You didnât have to go through it alone. I was right there, Sunghoon. I would haveââ
âI know,â he cuts in, voice almost desperate. âI know you would have. But I didnât know how to let you. I kept thinking if I just pushed harder, trained longer, it would click again. That the love for it would come back. But it didnât. And the more I kept failing, the less I could bring myself to tell you.â
You swallow down the hurt lodged in your throat, forcing yourself to stay steady. âSo instead, you just shut me out? Kept me in the dark?â
âI couldnât handle it,â he says, a bitter edge cutting through his tone. âAll of it. You being so damn supportive. Telling me I could do it when I knew I couldnât. I was falling apart, and you kept telling me I was going to make it. It justââ He shakes his head, lips pressing into a tight line. âIt made me feel like a fraud. Like I was dragging you down with me.â
You stare at him, disbelief and frustration mixing with the ache in your chest. âYouâre kidding. And suddenly it's my fault? That I cared too much?â
âNo! I didnât mean it like that,â he says quickly, voice hoarse, trembling around the edges of regret. âGod, thatâs not what I meant at all. Fuck.â
He grips the back of his neck like heâs trying to ground himself, eyes flickering everywhere but yoursâwalls, floor, ceilingâanywhere that isnât the firestorm in your gaze.
âI meantâŠâ he finally forces out, lowering his hands. His shoulders sag. âI meant I didnât know how to handle it. You gave so much and IâI didnât know how to match it. I was scared Iâd ruin it. So I pulled back. I shut you out instead of admitting I couldnât keep up with the way you loved me.â
Your heart clenches, torn between anger and sympathy. You take a deep breath, forcing the words out even though they taste like heartbreak. âYou didnât have to make that choice for me. I wouldâve stayed, Sunghoon. Even if it hurt. Even if you were falling apartââ
âThatâs why I didnât tell you!â
The words burst out of him, louder than he meant them to. The sound echoes slightly in the quiet of the rink, raw and cracked at the edges.
You flinchânot because youâre afraid, but because itâs the first time heâs raised his voice with you in a fight.
Sunghoonâs expression falters the moment it leaves his mouth. His chest rises and falls unevenly as the weight of what heâs said settles between you. He blinks fast, and for the first time, you see the glassiness in his eyesâthe way his lashes tremble under the strain of holding everything in.
âI didnât want you to feel guilty,â he says again, softer this time, like heâs trying to undo the sharpness from before. âOr worse⊠like you had to fix it. I couldnât bear the thought of becoming something you felt responsible for instead of someone you just⊠loved.â
He swallows hard, gaze falling to the floor as if heâs ashamed of the outburst, the truth, or maybe both.
Your chest tightens at his words, but not out of anger. Not even sadness. Just this overwhelming ache for the boy in front of youâthe boy who thought love was something that had to be earned only when he was okay.
You exhale slowly, trying to steady the crack in your voice. âYou think I loved you because you were strong all the time? Because you had it all together?â
He doesnât answer, but the tension in his shoulders says enough.
âSunghoon, I didnât want to fix you. I just wanted to be there with you.
For a moment, he just stares at you, like heâs trying to understand why youâre still here, still fighting to know the truth. And in that silence, you realise that heâs never really stopped carrying the weight of that decisionânever really forgiven himself for it. The guilt. The loneliness. The fear. Itâs all still there, buried under years of trying to pretend it didnât matter.
And it hits you thenâhow much of himself he gave up just to make sure you didnât drown with him.
Youâre not sure whether to scream at him for being so stupidly self-sacrificing or cry because he thought pushing you away was protecting you.
His next words come out in a whisper, like heâs afraid of breaking the fragile truce between you. âI wasnât trying to hurt you. I swear. I just⊠didnât know how to love you and love skating at the same time. And when skating stopped feeling like love, I didnât know how to love myself either.â
Something inside you softens, and you feel the fight drain out of your body. You lean back, exhaling shakily, trying to process it all. Maybe you thought the anger would feel good. Like if you just yelled loud enough, it would drown out the ache thatâs been festering since he left.
But now, standing here with himâraw, exposed, finally admitting the truthâyou just feel tired. And maybe, just maybe, a little relieved. Because at least now you know. It wasnât that he didnât care. It was that he didnât know how.
Without thinking, you reach out over the barricade, your fingers brushing against his. When he doesnât pull away, you take his hand in yours. His shoulders slump, the fight draining out of him, and for the first time in what feels like forever, he lets himself lean into youâno walls, no distance, just the raw truth of it all between you.
He lets out a rough, almost bitter laugh. âFunny, right? I spent so long trying to protect you from my problems that I ended up creating a whole new one.â
You squeeze his hand gently, feeling his warmth seep into your skin. âYou didnât have to go through it alone,â you whisper. âYou didnât have to push me away just because you thought you were sparing me.â
His eyes dart down to your joined hands, but he doesnât pull away. âI know that now,â he says quietly. âBut back then, I thought keeping you out of it would make things easier. For both of us.â
You swallow the knot in your throat, wondering how many more pieces youâd have to unearth before you finally made sense of everything that went wrong between you.
âBut it didnât, did it?â you murmur, half a statement, half a question.
Sunghoonâs shoulders sag, like the weight heâs been carrying finally buckles under your words. He breathes out slowly, shaking his head, a rueful, almost self-deprecating smile tugging at his lips. âNo. It didnât.â
Sunghoon takes a deep, trembling breath. The kind that rattles from somewhere deep in his chest, like heâs holding back more than just words. Slowly, carefully, his fingers slip from yours. The absence of his touch is immediateâsharp, cold, like the air around you shifted.
He stuffs his hands into his pockets, like maybe thatâs the only way to keep them from shaking, from betraying just how unsteady he really feels. His gaze drops to the ice at your feet, avoiding your eyes with an almost boyish kind of shame, as though looking at you would only make the truth harder to say.
âAnd I didnât reach out to you after my injury becauseâŠâ He pauses, swallows. His voice when it comes out is brittle, like heâs forcing it through a throat full of glass. âBecause I didnât want you to feel like you were a second option. Like I was only coming back to you because skating was no longer viable.â
Your breath catches.
The words hit in a place you didnât expect, a sharp, unexpected pang that lodges deep beneath your ribs. You blink, startled, searching his face like maybe you misheard him.
âWhat?â you whisper, barely audible. The word is soft, too soft. It slips from your lips like a secret, afraid to make the moment any heavier than it already is.
He lets out a laughâbut itâs dry, hollow, laced with bitterness and self-loathing. âItâs stupid, I know. But I didnât want you to think that⊠that I only wanted you because skating didnât work out. I thought if I showed up after everything fell apart, youâd look at me and think I was just using you to fill the gap.â
You shake your head slowly, the motion dazed, your thoughts struggling to keep pace with the revelation.
âSunghoon⊠I neverââ
âI know,â he cuts in, quickly, almost harshly. His voice cracks, raw and unfiltered. âI know you didnât. But I was so fucking lost, Y/N. I didnât know who I was without skating. And the idea of crawling back to you, looking for comfort when I had nothing left⊠it felt selfish. Like I was just dragging you into my mess because I couldnât handle it on my own. You deserved better than that.â
Thereâs a silence that followsânot the empty kind, but the kind that weighs down the air like fog. Heavy. Still. Unavoidable.
Your arms fold in tightly against your chest as if bracing for something colder than the rink air. Thereâs a tightness there, something fragile pressing hard against your ribs, and it takes you a moment to recognise it for what it is.
Itâs the part of you that never really stopped caring.
âYouâre an idiot,â you say, voice thick, the words catching on the knot in your throat. You almost choke on it, the mix of pain and tenderness. âA complete idiot.â
He finally looks up.
And itâs the way he looks at you that undoes you. Eyes rimmed red, glassy with unshed tears, but wide openâunguarded in a way heâs never let himself be. The vulnerability in them is devastating. It makes your own eyes sting, and you press your lips together hard, willing yourself not to break down in front of him. You canât afford to. Not after everything. But the way heâs looking at you, the way heâs baring his heart after years of hidingâit hurts.
The ice rink is eerily quiet now. The distant hum of the arena lights above buzzes like white noise around you, but everything else is still. Time feels like itâs slowed down, like the two of you exist in a bubble suspended in grief, in truth, in the aftermath of everything that wasnât said when it mattered.
You donât know what to sayâdonât know how to put into words the mess of emotions clawing at your chest. Itâs tangled and bruised and beating far too loudly. Thereâs relief, yes. A bit of anger too. But mostly, thereâs just this deep, aching sadness for the boy who thought he had to fight his battles alone.
But eventually, you find your voice. Quieter. Softer.
âI never needed you to be perfect, Sunghoon.â Your voice wavers despite how hard you try to steady it. âI just needed you to be honest.â
He closes his eyes for a moment, like the words hit him physically. The mess inside his chest doesnât have clean edges. Itâs tangled and bruised and beating far too loudly.
His brows pull together, and his shouldersâalways so tight, so high, like heâs been bracing for impact for yearsâfinally sink. The tension in him melts, slow and subtle, like heâs deflating under the weight of finally letting the truth out.
Then he nods. Once. Barely.
But itâs enough. Enough to know that he heard you. And that alone makes your heart ache.
You know you shouldnât give in. Not this easily. But youâve never been one for restraint.
Itâs always been your fatal flawâfeeling too much, too fast, letting your heart speak before your head can catch up. And maybe thatâs why this moment feels so inevitable. Because despite everythingâdespite the heartbreak, the silence, the yearsâyou still want to close the distance.
Itâs a mystery how you and Sunghoon even started dating in the first place, how two people so fundamentally different found their way to each other. You, all fire and instinct, and himâquiet, composed, like he was always walking a tightrope with his heart tucked out of reach.
You were sunshine, and he was midnight rain. You wanted comfort, but he was chasing medals and glory.
Well⊠he used to.
Back then, he didnât know youâd come into his life. Didnât expect that your laughter, your stubborn heart, your ability to see straight through him would start to matter more than medals ever did. Didnât realise that somewhere along the way, it wasnât skating he was chasing anymore.
It was you.
And by the time he figured it outâby the time he realised you were the thing heâd always been reaching forâyou were already slipping through his fingers.
Not because you didnât love him. But because he didnât know how to stop running.
Not for the crowd. Not for the gold.
But from someone who wouldâve stayed if only heâd asked.
Maybe thatâs why it worked for a while. Maybe thatâs why he never stopped yearning.
His eyes are still fixed on the ice, refusing to look at you, like if he stares hard enough, he can will himself invisible. His posture is closed in, like heâs trying to shrink himself, like if he folds in far enough, he can disappear into his regret.
You take a step forward. Then another.
Your shoes click softly against the rubber mats until the last one slips onto the smooth, glinting surface. You cross the threshold onto the ice without thinking, heart first, fearlessâlike always. The cold greets your ankles instantly, the faint burn of it rushing up your calves.
Your feet come into his view, and he startles slightly, blinking as he realises how close you are now.
âWhat are youâ?â His brow furrows, alarm flickering in his expression. âCareful, youâre gonna fall again ifââ
You hug him.
Thereâs no warning. No speech. No careful calculation. You just move, because your heart gets there before anything else can stop it.
Your arms wrap around himâfirm, groundingâand his breath stutters as if the contact knocks the wind out of him. He stays frozen for a second, like his body doesnât believe itâs real, like he thinks if he moves, youâll vanish.
"It's okay," you murmur against his shoulder, your voice soft but steady. "I know you'll catch me even if I fall."
And somehow, thatâs what does it. That quiet faith in himâeven now, after everythingâcracks something open.
He exhales, the breath hitching on its way out, and you feel the tension leave his body piece by piece. Slowly, hesitantly, he melts into you. His chin dips to rest against the curve of your shoulder, and his armsâthose shaking, unsure armsâwrap around your back and hold on.
Not tight. Not desperate.
But like someone whoâs been cold for far too long, and finally, finally found warmth. Like your presence alone is something he's relearning how to deserve.
You close your eyes, steadying yourself with the quiet rise and fall of his chest against yours. Then you speakâgently, but with purpose.
"Donât take this the wrong way," you say, your fingers curling slightly into the fabric of his jacket. "This isnât forgiveness. Iâm not there yet. This is just⊠me showing you that I still care. As a friend."
He stiffens slightly, but you donât let go. You press on.
"Iâm sorry this happened to you," you whisper. "I know skating meant the world to you."
Sunghoon doesnât answer. Not out loud.
But his arms tightenâjust a littleâand his breath shudders, and the thought echoes in his mind with a force that nearly brings him to his knees:
You mean the world to me, still.
He doesn't say it. He doesnât need to. Itâs thereâin the way he holds you now, in the way he leans into your warmth like itâs the first real thing heâs touched in years.
And for a moment, you let him. You both do.
Not as the people you once were. But as the broken, rebuilding versions of yourselvesâstill trying, still reaching, still here.
This quiet moment.
You remember this feeling.
The stillness. The unspoken. The way the world seems to hush when youâre in his armsânot because everything is perfect, but because somehow, even in the mess, it feels safe.
You used to crave more. Words. Reassurance. The kind of affection you could point to and name. But as time passed, you learned to understand him in these smaller, quieter ways. The way heâd wait for you after late classes just to walk you home, even when he never said why. The way heâd leave extra pairs of gloves in your bag before competitions. The way he never quite let go first.
Itâs the way Sunghoon has always shown love to you. Not through grand gestures or flowery words, but through presence. Through the way he leans in, silent and steady. Through the way he holds you like you're something heâs afraid to break. Through the quiet weight of his hand resting at the small of your back, like a promise heâs never quite been brave enough to say out loud.
This right hereâthis silence filled with meaningâhas always been his way of saying Iâm here. I care. I love you.
And thatâs why, when his presence stopped feeling like loveâwhen the silence turned from comfort to distanceâyou felt discarded. Unwanted. Like love had quietly exited the room and no one bothered to tell you.
His inability to say what he felt, to put to words what you meant to him, only made it worse. Because you were still there, waiting for somethingâanythingâto hold onto, while he kept retreating behind walls you couldnât climb.
But now, standing here, with his arms around you once again, you feel it. All of it. Even if he still hasnât found the words.
You realise thenâhe never stopped caring for you, too.
The silence. The omission of truth. The way he held everything in, thinking he was protecting you by keeping you out. You used to mistake it for distance, for disinterest. But maybe that was just the way he loved you.
Complicated. Flawed. Quiet in all the places you needed noise.
It wasnât the way you lovedânot loud and vulnerable, not open and all-consumingâbut it was still love. Just⊠his version of it.
And youâall heart before reason.
You loved like it was oxygen, like holding back would be the same as holding your breath. You said too much, felt too deeply, asked for honesty even when he didnât know how to give it. You needed presence, yesâbut you also needed words. Needed something solid to hold onto when his silence left too much room for doubt.
And stillâthat was the way you loved him.
Messy. Unfiltered. Brave in all the ways he wasnât ready for.
You offered him your whole heart without a safety net, while all he wanted was to protect you from his fall.
And it hits you then, in a way thatâs both soft and sharpâthis was always the story. The gaps, the miscommunication, the mismatched ways of showing up.
It was never about not feeling enough. It was about feeling too much, in entirely different languages.
You, speaking in open wounds and raw confessions.
Him, answering in silence and distance.
Two people standing on opposite ends of a love that was realâjust not always right.
And maybe thatâs the tragedy of it.
Not that you didnât love each other. But that you did.
Just in ways the other didnât know how to hold.
You and Sunghoon spend the next few hours sitting on the cold bleachers, catching up on the last four yearsâwhat was said, what wasnât, and everything that existed in between.
Itâs not an invitation to get back together. That much is clearâspoken and understood without the need for awkward disclaimers.
This is something else entirely. A truce, maybe. An unspoken agreement to lay the past to rest without erasing it. An invitation to let go of the bitterness. To make sure the four years you spent loving each otherâmessy and imperfect as they wereâdonât go down the drain as nothing but regret.
And anyway, nobody ever said ex-lovers couldnât stay friendsâŠ
You learn that Hugo SĂĄnchezâthe skater Sunghoon had that infamous tussle withâwas caught up in a drug scandal just a few months later. It never made headlines, swept under the rug with hush money and quiet handshakes behind closed doors. But word still got around. Coach Morales blacklisted him, and by extension, so did every major name in the circuit.
âGuess karmaâs real after all,â you mutter, brows raised as Sunghoon nods.
âHe got what he deserved,â he replies quietly, but thereâs no real satisfaction in his tone. Just a kind of weariness. The kind that says it still wasnât worth what it cost me.
You offer a small, understanding smile, then shift the conversationâgently.
You tell him about your career. How you fell into sports journalism by accident, how you hated it at first. How you stuck with it anyway. About the sleepless nights, the thankless deadlines, the rush of chasing a story and the heartbreak of killing one. You tell him how strange it is, writing about athletes when you once dated oneâhow sometimes you catch yourself comparing their routines, their postures, their voices to his.
You donât mean to say that last part. But it slips out, unfiltered.
Sunghoon glances at you then, a soft crease forming between his brows, and for a moment, you think he might say something. But he doesnât. He just listens, the same way he always used toâquietly, intently, like your voice alone is enough to anchor him.
Youâre halfway through telling him the story about your first major reporting slip-upâsomething about mistaking a gold medalist for a retired curling coachâwhen Sunghoon breaks into laughter.
Real laughter.
Not the polite kind. Not the breathy exhale heâs used to giving when heâs holding too much in. But the kind that lights up his whole face. His head tips back slightly, shoulders shaking, eyes squinting in disbelief as he nearly doubles over from how hard heâs laughing.
âYou what?â he wheezes, clutching his stomach. âPlease tell me you didnât salute him and ask about his war medals too. He probably thought you were calling him a grandpa, not an Olympian!â
Youâre laughing too, unable to help it. âListen, the man had a beard and a windbreaker and that very âI peaked in Vancouver 2010â vibe.â
âAnd that screams retired Olympian to you?â he chokes, still catching his breath. âYou probably set athlete-media relations back a decade.â
âI was nervous, okay?â you defend, wiping at your eyes, the kind of laughter that makes your ribs hurt already fading into little aftershocks.
You lean back against the bleachers with a sigh, finally calming downâonly to notice heâs gone quiet. You turn to find him just⊠looking at you. Not with amusement anymore, but something softer. His expression has shiftedâgentle, open, a little vulnerable in a way that makes your breath catch.
Heâs watching you like he forgot what it was like to see you laugh like that. Like heâs trying to memorise the shape of your smile and hold onto the sound of it.
You raise a brow, playful. âWhat? Do I have something on my face?â
He blinks, startled, like you caught him in a secret. âNo,â he says, quickly averting his gaze. Then, quieter, âJust... forgot what that sounded like.â
âWhat did?â you ask, even though you already know.
âYou. Laughing like that.â He shrugs, keeping his eyes on the rink.
You pause, suddenly aware of how close youâre sitting. How his knee brushes yours every so often when he shifts. How the warmth between you lingers even in the chill of the arena.
âWell,â you finally say, nudging his shoulder with yours, âdonât get used to it. Iâm a very serious journalist now. No more giggling.â
He glances at you with a crooked smile, eyes full of mischief. âSure. Iâll believe that when you donât snort the next time you laugh.â
You gasp, scandalised. âI do not snort.â
Sunghoon leans in slightly, teasing. âYou literally just did.â
You stare at him, lips parted, fully ready to argueâuntil you realise heâs right. And then youâre laughing again, shaking your head as you gently shove his arm.
âAsshole,â you mumble through your grin.
And just like that, the weight between you both lightens againâstill present, but tucked neatly beside something warmer. Familiar. Almost like the beginning of something new. Or maybe just the gentler end of something old.
Either way, itâs something.
That night, when you finally reach home, your cheeks are still warm. Youâre still smiling a little too easily at nothing in particular. The chill of the ice rink has long worn off, but Sunghoonâs laughâlow, genuineâlingers in your ears like a recent vocal stimulation. Itâs been years since that sound last came from him, at least directed at you, and it sits somewhere in your chest now, unexpectedly soft and stubborn.
You kick off your shoes, shrug off your coat, and collapse onto your couch with a sigh thatâs half-exhaustion, half-daydream. Your mind is foggy, a little giddy. Like youâve just had caffeine on an empty stomach or youâve stepped into some alternate version of your lifeâone where the worldâs been tilted just a few degrees off-centre and nothingâs quite the same anymore.
Then your eyes fall on your laptop. Still open. Still glowing. And suddenly, reality tugs you back down.
Youâd forgotten about the article. The one you had barely started drafting. The one with Sunghoonâs name in the headline. The one meant to announce his participation in the Olympics tryout.
You sit up straighter, the comfort in your muscles draining fast as a chill crawls up your spine. Because all you can think about nowâover and over, like a stuck recordâis the way he said it:
âThe injury relapses whenever I overexert.â
Heâd said it so casually, like it wasnât a big deal. Like it was just a fact of life now. A quiet asterisk next to his name.
He said he wasnât planning a full comeback. He said he wasnât sure. But heâs still showing up to tryouts. Still skating. Still pushing.
And suddenly, what once felt like a career milestoneâthis exclusive, this rare chance to write the first profile on Park Sunghoonâs inevitable return to the iceâfeels... invasive. Too sharp. Too personal.
Your fingers hover over your phone, the urge to text him immediate.
You type somethingâdelete it. Type again.
Hey. Are you really okay to skate?|
|
Are you sure youâre not pushing too hard?|
|
Let me know if thereâs anyway I can help.|
|
But none of them feel right.
Because you barely just started talking again. Because one evening of laughter on a set of cold bleachers doesnât erase four years of silence. Because youâre not sure if checking in now would cross a line you donât have permission to step over anymore.
So instead, you lock your phone screen and place it face down on the table.
And you sit there in the quiet, trying not to worry. Trying not to think of the pressure on his leg, the sting in his joints, the way heâd smiled when he told youânot proud, not hopeful, just... resigned.
But worry, of course, doesnât ask permission. It settles in the pit of your stomach like lead. Because you know him. And you know heâll keep skatingâeven if it breaks him again.
And worst of all, heâll do it without ever asking for help.
[MANIFESTO EXCLUSIVE]
Park Sunghoon Announces Participation In 2026 Winter Olympics Tryout
By Kang Y/N, Manifesto Daily
Itâs been nearly two years since figure skating prodigy Park Sunghoon last performed on Korean ice.
Once heralded as one of South Koreaâs most technically refined athletes, Park disappeared from the public eye following an abrupt withdrawal from the 2023 Grand Prix Final. No formal statement was ever released. No interviews, no explanationsâjust a silence that, for a time, swallowed even his most devoted fansâ questions.
Until now.
This week, Parkâs name quietly reappeared on the athlete roster for the upcoming 2026 Winter Olympics tryouts. And in an exclusive conversation with Manifesto Daily, Park has officially confirmed his participation.
Parkâs return marks a significant moment in the national figure skating circuit. Known for his precision, control, and signature composure on the ice, his performances have long drawn praise from both domestic and international judges. His participation is expected to bring renewed attention to the men's singles category in the upcoming season.
Tryouts are scheduled to take place early next month, where top-ranked skaters will compete for coveted spots on South Koreaâs Olympic delegation. While Park has kept a low public profile in recent years, anticipation surrounding his return remains high. His past record includes a gold medal finish at the Four Continents Championships, a bronze medal at the Beijing 2022 Winter Olympics, and consistent placements in the Grand Prix circuit, making him a strong contender as the nation gears up for Olympic selection.
Fans and officials alike will be watching closely as Park takes the ice againânot only for his technical capabilities, but for what his presence brings to a new generation of skaters: legacy, poise, and a renewed standard of excellence.
Further details regarding the tryout schedule and national team lineup are expected to be released by the Korean Skating Union in the coming weeks.
For now, one thing is clear: Park Sunghoon is officially back in contention.
When you used to wait by the edge of the rink with a scarf and a warm drink. When heâd skate over to you before practice just to tap your forehead with his finger and say donât blink this time. When he was still learning how to balance pressure and affectionâand you were still learning how to love someone who rarely said what he felt.
The way heâs looking at you nowâitâs not loud. Not grand.
But itâs enough to pull at the thread of every memory you thought youâd neatly tucked away.
Sunghoon exhales slowly, eyes trained on the centre of the rink as the announcerâs voice fades into the cold, echoing silence. The blades of his skates feel heavy beneath himânot because theyâre any different, but because he is.
His heartbeat thrums steadily beneath the layers of his costume, fast but controlled. A familiar rhythm he used to draw comfort from. Now, it only reminds him of everything riding on this final run.
He flexes his fingers once, then again. The nerves are thereâno point pretending they arenât. Theyâve settled deep into his bones, coiled tight like springs. But thereâs no fear. Not of falling. Not of losing.
Because he already did that.
He already lost the version of skating that once consumed him. Already stepped away from the spotlight, already let go of the expectations. What remains now is something simpler. Smaller.
This isnât about medals anymore.
This is the end of something. Or maybe the beginning of what comes after.
He guesses thatâs the one thing he was keeping from you.
Not because he didnât trust you, but because saying it out loud wouldâve made it realâthat the dream he built his life around had slowly started to unravel. That somewhere along the way, skating stopped being love and started feeling like obligation.
You think heâs here to chase after redemption. To reclaim what was lost. To silence the whispers, the speculation, the question marks that trailed behind his name for years. You think heâs here to prove that he still has itâthat the boy wonder of South Koreaâs figure skating circuit never truly fell from grace.
But youâre wrong.
Because redemption implies he owes something to someone. And Sunghoonâs done with owing.
This tryout isnât about reclaiming his reputation. Heâs not here for the judges. Not for the headlines. Not even for the crowd that once screamed his name.
Heâs here for something far quieter. Something far more difficult to earn.
Closure.
Not the kind that comes with medals or press conferences, but the kind you feel in your chest when you finally stop running. When you stop skating to meet expectations, and start skating to meet yourself again.
This is not a comeback. Itâs about reclaiming why he ever skated in the first place.
Itâs about the quiet mornings on empty rinks. The way cold air fills his lungs and clears his thoughts. The ache in his legs after hours of training that no one ever saw. Itâs about the pieces of himself he left scattered in every routine he never got to finish.
He shifts his weight slightly, grounding himself. This routine isnât built for spectacle. It doesnât chase applause. Itâs clean. Honest. Unforgiving in its simplicity.
And if this is the last time he performs under Olympic lightsâif this is the closing chapter of a decade-long pursuitâthen he wants to be the one who chooses how it ends.
Not the injury. Not the press. Not the silence.
He takes one last glance toward the bleachers. And there you are. Watching. Just like you used to---back then, when his world was still laced with possibility, and your quiet presence was the only constant that ever kept him sane.
And with this last performanceâwith this one final actâitâs not about the world. Itâs not about redemption.
Itâs about himself. About stepping onto the ice one final time not to impress, but to release. To mourn. To honour everything this love once was
And maybeâjust maybeâitâs for you too. The girl who believed in him before the world knew his name. The one who stayed long after the spotlight dimmed.
He wishes he could say that. Wishes he could turn and tell you: This is for you.
But Sunghoon has never been fluent in the language of declarations.
So instead, he skates,
The music beginsâsomething classical, restrained, just a touch mournfulâand Sunghoon moves. No flourish. No dramatic opening gesture. Just a quiet push forward, blades slicing into the ice with the same precision you remember from years ago.
But this time, thereâs something different. Thereâs stillness in him. Control so complete it doesnât screamâit whispers.
He doesnât rush. Doesnât force it. He lets the music carry him, lets the silence in the arena wrap around him like a second skin. One edge. Then the next. Arms extended, posture flawless, his body slicing through space like he belongs to it.
His first jumpâa quad toe loop. Clean. Effortless. His landing doesnât so much hit the ice as it touches it. The blade barely sings as it connects. The motion is seamless, and for a second, no one breathes.
Not the judges. Not the staff. Not even the other skaters whoâve trained beside him years ago and know just how good Sunghoon really is.
They fall quietâeveryone doesâbecause what theyâre seeing isnât just a routine.
Itâs artistry.
His movements are elegant, measured. Each spin folds perfectly into the next, centre tight, shoulders relaxed, neck lengthened. His step sequence flows like waterâno excess, no hesitation.
And then the triple axelâthe jump that sidelined him years agoâcomes out of nowhere.
He lands it perfectly.
Not a wobble. Not a check. Not even a breath out of place.
Someone in the stands exhales sharply, as if they forgot they were holding their breath. One of the younger skaters watching from behind the boards drops their phone in shock.
Even the coachesâstoic, experienced, always hard to impressâexchange glances. Subtle, but wide-eyed. No one expected this. Not from someone who hasnât competed in years. Not from someone they assumed was skating on borrowed time.
But there he is. Moving like the ice never betrayed him. Like the injury never happened.
Like heâs not returning from anything, but arriving exactly where he belongs.
The closing spin beginsâslow, low, deliberate. He lowers into a final sit spin so clean it looks animated, the motion a perfect blur. Then he rises, centres himself, and ends in silence.
No dramatic bow. No fist in the air.
Just Sunghoon. Standing still, chest rising, eyes closed. Like he just let go of something heâs been carrying for years.
And for a momentâjust oneâno one claps. Not because it wasnât brilliant.
But because brilliance demands reverence.
The applause comes late. Staggered. And then all at once. But even then, it feels too small for what they just witnessed.
Because what Sunghoon gave them wasnât just a performance. It was a goodbye disguised as grace.
The moment the tryouts conclude, the applause still echoing faintly in your ears, you donât hesitate. Youâre already halfway down the stands before your brain catches up with your legs. You weave through rows of folding seats, shoulder past lingering staff and curious onlookers, scanning the crowd of skaters, coaches, and judges now spilling onto the ice and rinkside floor.
Your heart is racing. Not from excitement. From urgency. Like if you donât find him now, this momentâhis momentâmight slip away before you get to say anything.
And then you spot him.
Near the far side of the rink, his posture relaxed now, his jacket back on and unzipped. Heâs speaking to someone.
You recognise the man instantly: Coach Im, his university coach. Stern but warm. Always had a thermos in hand and a stopwatch around his neck, even when he wasnât timing anyone. You saw him oftenâback when you used to sit through Sunghoonâs practice sessions, bundled in jackets, pretending to read while keeping your eyes on the ice.
Sunghoon laughs at something the coach says, his shoulders shaking with a lightness you havenât seen in years. You feel something stir in your chest as you step closer.
Coach Im spots you first. His eyes light up in recognition as you approach, his voice lifting cheerfully over the din.
âOh heyâisnât this Y/N?â he says, clapping a hand on Sunghoonâs shoulder. âSo lovely to see that the two of you are still going strong!â
The words hit you like an unexpected gust of wind, warm and jarring all at once.
Sunghoon startles slightly, glancing quickly in your direction with wide eyesâlike even he didnât see that coming.
You blink, then laughâjust a breath, soft and awkward. âOh, um⊠itâs not like that. Weâre notââ
But Sunghoon doesnât say anything right away.
He just looks at you. Not surprised. Not embarrassed. Just⊠thoughtful. A crease forming between his brows like heâs considering what to say nextâif he should say anything at all.
Coach Im looks between the two of you, clearly confused, then lets out a warm chuckle. âEither way, itâs good to see you again. I remember you always being there in the bleachers during Sunghoonâs training sessions. It was nice knowing he had someone by his side. Kept him grounded, you know?â
You smile politely, heart doing a strange little dance in your chest. And as the coach excuses himself to greet someone else, you and Sunghoon are left in a bubble of silence.
Just like old times. Only now, everything feels different.
And yetâsomehowâexactly the same.
You clear your throat, stepping a little closer, nerves fluttering at the base of your spine. "Hey, I just wanted toâ"
"I'm sorry, Y/N," Sunghoon cuts in, his tone gentle but clipped. He avoids your gaze, already half-turning away. "I promised to meet some old friends from uni to catch up."
You pause. Blinking. The words take a second to land.
"Oh. Right. Yeah," you say, forcing a small smile as you nod, even though your chest tightens. "I'll... see you around?"
"I'll text you, yeah?" he offers, already moving backwards, already fading into the crowd.
You nod again, slower this time. "Huh? Oh. Yeah. Okay."
And just like that, heâs gone.
Swallowed up by the familiar buzz of coaches, skaters, and congratulations. You stand there a beat longer than you should, the cold of the rink creeping back into your fingertips. The moment you thought you were chasing slips quietly through your handsâunfinished.
And all you can do is exhale. Pretend it doesnât sting. Pretend it isnât you whoâs waiting for him againâwhoâs standing here with something halfway between closure and hope tangled in your chest.
You tell yourself itâs fine. That he skated beautifully. That this day wasnât about you.
But beneath all that composure, you feel itâthe ache of almost. Because maybe you expected too much. Or maybe, for a second, you forgot you were just someone he let in againânot someone he kept.
But the truth is, Sunghoon didnât know how to face you without tearing up.
Didnât know how to walk toward you without pulling you into his arms and asking you to stay, to say somethingâanythingâthat might ground him after what just happened on the ice.
But the moment Coach Im said your name, smiled like it was still you and him, like time hadn't split everything in half, Sunghoon panicked.
Because heâs not sure what this is. Not yet.
And heâs not sure youâre open to confronting it, eitherâwhatever it is, this delicate thing hanging between you like a conversation neither of you has found the courage to start.
Maybe he read too much into your eyes during warm-up. Maybe the way you looked at him wasnât about wanting him back. Maybe it was just nostalgiaâsoft, forgiving, but not something you wanted to carry forward. Maybe you were just proud of him. Maybe you were just letting go.
He doesnât blame you.
Because deep down, Sunghoon knows he never really forgave himself for the way things endedâfor the silence, the confusion, the months where he let you carry the weight of a love he couldn't name, let alone hold properly. He knows he hurt you in the worst way: by making you feel like you had to ask to be chosen.
And though time has passed, and the ache has dulled, another part of him still isnât sureâstill isn't confidentâthat heâs capable of giving you the kind of love you deserve.
But then againâthis.
This miscommunication. This habit of circling around instead of stepping in. This assumption of what he thinks you wantâwhat you donât wantâitâs what drove the two of you apart in the first place.
All the things he never said. All the things you tried to. All the maybes that built a house out of hesitation and called it home.
He thought silence would spare you. You thought silence meant indifference. And somewhere along the wayâbetween protecting and pretending, between misreading and mistimingâyou both forgot how to meet in the middle.
And now here you are again.
You, still waiting.
Him, still too afraid to walk closer.
Each of you assuming the other doesnât want more. Each of you convincing yourselves that almost is close enough.
Even when it never was. Even when it never could be.
And as usual, the text he promised never really came.
At first, you gave him the benefit of the doubtâtold yourself he was probably just busy, caught up in post-tryout formalities, in media briefings, in reconnecting with old friends or navigating the aftermath of a performance that stunned everyone in the arena.
But deep down, you knew the silence wasnât unfamiliar. It never had been. After all, the foundation of your relationship in those final months was built on this same cycle
Sunghoon giving just enough. Just enough warmth, just enough apology, just enough softness to keep you waitingâto keep you hoping that maybe if you held on a little longer, heâd choose you fully, finally, without hesitation.
And youâGod, youâwith your foolish heart that had only ever known how to love in full measure, never halfway, never with one foot out the doorâyou waited.
You waited like you always did.
And maybe thatâs why, when the Korean Skating Union releases the official roster of Olympic athletes and his name is printed boldly at the very topâlike it never left, like it was always meant to be thereâsomething in you shifts.
You feel it, a spark lighting in your chest, sharp and sudden and wild, and before youâve even thought it through, youâre already reaching for your coat, already grabbing your keys, already walking out the door with your heart hammering too loudly in your chest.
You couldâve texted him. Couldâve called. Couldâve sent a simple message like âcongratulations,â couldâve played it safe the way people do when theyâre pretending not to care as much as they do.
But you donât.
Because something in you needs to see himâneeds to see his face, his eyes, the way he stands now that the weight is off his shoulders, now that heâs done it, now that heâs reclaimed skating the way he always wanted to.
Because if any part of what you shared still mattersâif any part of him still looks at you the way he used toâyou want to be there to see it.
Not through a screen. Not in a message thread that never starts.
But in person.
So you go. Because maybe this time, you're done waiting.
You stand just inside the entrance of the skating arena, the cold air hitting your skin like a memory. The official delegation is supposed to make a public appearance todayâan Olympic tradition of sorts.
Which means Sunghoon should be here. Somewhere.
Your eyes scan the crowd. Clusters of athletes in sleek national jackets, coaches and press weaving through them like old threads. But it doesnât take long before you spot him.
Tucked away in a corner, half-shadowed by the edge of the bleachers.
Heâs deep in conversation with one of the national Olympic coachesâCoach Baek, if you remember correctly. The older manâs expression is tight, gestures sharp with frustration. You canât hear whatâs being said, but the energy between them is tense.
Sunghoon stands there, arms crossed, nodding slowly, his jaw tight but unreadable. He doesnât argue. Doesnât flinch. Just listens. When the coach finally exhales, the tension softensâbarely. A few more words are exchanged, and then a hand lands on Sunghoonâs shoulder, firm and final. A goodbye, or maybe a warning softened into encouragement.
Then the coach walks away.
And as Sunghoon turns slightly to see him offâshoulders still drawn tight from the conversationâhis eyes land on you.
You freeze for half a second, caught mid-step, unsure whether to wave, speak, or turn back the way you came. But before the indecision fully settles, he starts toward you, closing the distance with a familiarity that shouldnât feel as natural as it does.
âHey,â he says, breath a little visible in the rinkâs chill. âI was just about to call you.â
You arch a brow, tilting your head. âYou were?â
His mouth lifts, half a smile, half something else you canât quite name. âYeah,â he says quietly, like heâs testing the weight of his own words.
You cough, trying to mask the genuine surprise, and maybe joy in your tone. âWhat was that about? He looked like he was about to throw you back into juniors. Training hasnât even started and youâre already pissing the coach off?â
Sunghoon laughs, and for a second, it lightens his whole face. âYeah⊠about thatâŠâ
You narrow your eyes. âWhat now?â
He takes a small breath, then meets your eyes. âWhat do you think about writing another exclusive?â
You blink. Once. Twice. âWhat, that you made the Olympic team? Thatâs hardly exclusive.â
His smile fades into something more serious. âNo, thatâs not it.â
You watch him carefully now.
âIâm retiring.â
Your breath catches. âWhat? When?â
âEffective immediately,â he smiles as he says. âIâve officially pulled out of the Olympic delegation.â
You just stare at him, stunned. âButâSunghoon. You worked so hard for this. Recovery took years. Youâve been training nonstopââ
âI know,â he says, not unkindly, but firm. âAnd thatâs exactly why.â
Youâre still trying to catch up, your brain scrambling to make sense of it. âI donât understand. Then why did you go through the tryouts? Why fight so hard just to walk away?â
He exhales, like heâs been carrying the answer for a while. âBecause I needed to know it was still there. The feeling.â
His eyes meet yours, steady. âI wanted to remember what it felt like to skateânot for medals, not for judges, not for anyone elseâbut just for me. To feel that I could still love it, even if it no longer loved me back the same way.â
Then, softerâalmost apologeticallyâhe adds, âIâll never be able to skate like I used to, Y/N. Iâve already accepted that.â
It hits you thenâthat his silence, the tension with the coach, the performance that felt too clean, too perfectâit was all part of a farewell.
Youâre quiet for a moment. âSo this was⊠what? A planned goodbye?â
He nods once, steady. âMaybe not from the beginning. But somewhere along the way, yeah. I think I knew I needed to end it on my terms. Not when the pain told me to. Not when the judges did. When I decided it was enough.â
âButâskating. It meant the world to youââ
Your voice comes out softer than you expect, the disbelief tangled with something else. Not anger. Not disappointment. Just the ache of watching someone walk away from something that once lit them up from the inside out. Ironic, since you were once someone that lit him upâmaybe still is.
Sunghoon doesnât flinch. He just looks at you, eyes steady, voice calm in a way that tells you heâs already made peace with it.
âIt did,â he pauses, breath curling in the cold, as if he's choosing his next words carefully.
And in that moment, you realise that his performance wasnât a comeback.
It was a love letter.
And a goodbye.
âWhich is why,â he continues, quieter now, âthis is the last thing I can do for myself. To leave it the way I want to. I didnât want my last memory of skating to be hospitals, setbacks, or walking away because I had no choice. I want to remember it the way Iâve always loved it. For what it gave me. For who I was when I first stepped on the ice.â
And youâre hit with a painful ache in your chest as he says itâsharp, sudden, the kind that lodges itself between your ribs and blooms quietly like grief.
Because if this is the ending he chose for skatingâon his own terms, with love and clarity and closureâthen what about you?
Where is your ending?
Where is your closure?
The question surges up before you can catch it, before you can bury it under composure or timing or prideâand it spills out of you, raw and quiet and too honest.
âIn that case, what do you remember me by?â
Sunghoon freezes.
His shoulders tense, breath catching so subtly that only someone whoâs known himâreally known himâwould notice.
âY/NâŠâ he says, and you can hear it in his voiceâhow he didnât expect that. How he doesn't know what to do with it.
You didnât even realise youâd said it out loud. The weight of it lingers in the air between you, heavy, uninvited.
You straighten your posture, instinct snapping back into place. Professional. Controlled. Detached, even if your pulse is anything but.
âI should go,â you say briskly, already taking a step back. âIâll email your management the article draft. Or⊠do I not need to?â
He opens his mouth, but nothing comes out fast enough.
âAnyway,â you continue, your voice clipped but polite, a shield you know too well, âfeel free to have your assistant text me. Thanks.â
You donât wait for his reply.
You turn.
And this time, youâre the one walking away from something that once lit you up from the inside out. Even if it hurts to do it. Even if every step feels like itâs tearing something open again.
Because you canât keep standing in spaces where youâre only half-held, half-answered, half-remembered.
That evening, you write the article.
You sit at your desk long after the sun has dipped below the skyline, long after the city has quieted into its nighttime hush, and you start typing with steady fingersâtrying, desperately, to be as professional as you can be.
Because this is big news. A world-class athlete pulling out of the Olympic delegation at the peak of national anticipation. A retirement no one saw coming. Itâs the kind of journalism that gets you recognised. That fills portfolios and lands bylines in places that matter.
But none of that crosses your mind.
Because all you can think aboutâdespite the ache still blooming in your chest, despite the lingering bitterness of unanswered questions and things left unsaidâis how to honour him.
You still feel the weight of him on the page. Still feel the obligation to present him in the best light. To tell the truth, yes, but also the quiet partsâthe parts no one else saw. The discipline. The years of pain. The choice to walk away, not out of defeat, but dignity.
You write him with care. With empathy. With the kind of understanding that only someone who once stood in the inner orbit of his world could ever give.
And no matter how hard you try, you canât stop your heart from leaking into the words. Because telling his story means telling yours, too.
Not the public version. Not the headlines.
But the quiet history of two people who once thought love alone would be enough. The version of you that sat in cold arenas, waiting for him to look up. The version of him that carried the weight of a dream too heavy for his body to bear. The version of both of you that was too young, too scared, too stubborn to survive it back then.
Itâs almost midnight when you finish the piece. And when you read it back, you realise itâs not just about skating.
It never was.
Itâs about letting go of something beautifulânot because it wasnât enough, but because it ran its course. And for the first time, you understand what he meant.
To end it your way.
To remember the love, not the loss.
So you click send.
And in doing so, you decideâquietlyâto let it go.
To let him go.
Ms Yoon (PA):
Reporter Kang sent over the article draft. PR said it was good, but thought you might want to read it for yourself.
[Attachment: 1 File]
Sunghoon is mid-workout when the message comes in. His hands are chalked, his hoodie damp with sweat, breath still recovering from his last set of strength drills.
The notification buzzes faintly against the speaker where his phone sits docked, half-muted beneath the beat of the music pulsing through the rinkâs private training gym. He almost ignores itâfigures itâs a reminder or scheduling updateâuntil he catches the preview of the senderâs name: Ms. Yoon.
He wipes his palms on a towel, walks over, and unlocks his phone, chest still rising and falling in slow recovery. The file is there, bold and unopened.
His fingers hover over the screen a moment longer than they should, suspended in a strange quiet.
Heâs not sure what heâs expecting to feel. Pride? Closure? Guilt, maybe.
But whatever it is, he taps the file.
And begins to read.
FINAL DRAFT
[MANIFESTO EXCLUSIVE]
The Final Bow: Park Sunghoon Withdraws from Olympic Delegation and Announces Retirement
By Kang Y/N, Manifesto Daily
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In related news, Parkâs withdrawal comes just days after the delegation announcement, and in his place, 19-year-old rising star Han Jihoon has been selected to represent Korea in the menâs singles category. Han, who placed fourth at the national tryouts, is widely regarded as one of the most technically gifted athletes of his generation, with a growing fanbase and a reputation for innovation on the ice.
As for Park Sunghoon, he leaves behind a legacy not of statistics, but of stillness. Of dignity. Of skating that always seemed to say what words could not.
His career was never loud. But it was unforgettable.
Goodbye, Park Sunghoon,
And thank you for everything you didnât have to say.
Before he knows it, heâs halfway out the doorâkeys clenched in one hand, the other rapidly typing a message to his assistant.
Sunghoon:
Do you happen to know Y/Nâs address? Forward it to me asap. Thanks.
The article is still echoing in his head, playing back in quiet waves he canât shut out. Lines that hit too close. Lines that cracked open things he thought heâd buried for good. Words that sounded like truths he never gave you the spaceâor the safetyâto say out loud.
Because was it just himâor did your article sound like a defeat? Not the kind written in bitterness, but in surrender.
An epiphany dressed in grace.
Like you had finally laid everything downâyour hope, your waiting, your quiet what-ifsâand decided that telling his story was the only closure you were ever going to get.
His heart pounds harder now than it did during his entire workout. Not from strain. From urgency. From the sudden, all-consuming fear that he might be too lateâtoo late to explain, to show up, to fix the way silence unraveled everything.
Too late to ask for something he didnât know he was still allowed to want. Something that had always lingered just beyond his reachânot because it wasnât there, but because he never dared to reach out and take it.
That you were still willing to give after all these years, If only he had asked. If only he had trusted that maybe, just maybe, love wasnât about timing or pride or silenceâbut about the courage to choose it anyway.
And now, with your words still ringing in his head and the ache of what-ifs pressing into his ribs, he runs.
Because for the first time in a long time, he isnât afraid of falling.
Heâs afraid of missing the chance to fall with you.
A notification lights up his screen, and itâs from his assistantâyour full address, no questions asked.
Sunghoon doesnât waste a second. He tosses his phone onto the passenger seat, starts the engine, and drives like his heartâs pacing himâfast, frantic, barely keeping rhythm. The city blurs past in streaks of gold and grey, and his knuckles grip the steering wheel like itâs the only thing holding him together.
By the time he reaches your apartment, he doesnât bother fixing his hair, or the way his hoodie clings to him, soaked from sweat and adrenaline. Or the fact that its well-past midnight and heâs here at your apartment building. He takes the stairs two at a time, too restless for the lift, too afraid the silence will make him second-guess what heâs come here to say.
You open the door mid-knock, eyes wide, mouth parting in surprise.
âSunghoon?â your voice is a mix of concern and disbelief. âHow did you know I lived here?â
You stare at him, bewildered, heart stammering against your ribs.
He looks at you like youâre not real. Like heâs been chasing something impossible and suddenly, impossibly, itâs standing right in front of him. Thereâs yearning in his eyesâraw and unguardedâand when he takes a step closer, you notice it.
The limp. Subtle, but there.
âDid you run here? Godâyour injuryââ
But you donât get to finish.
Because he closes the distance and pulls you into himâarms wrapping around you in one fluid, desperate motion, like his body moved before his mind could catch up. There are no words. No explanations. Just the solid, trembling weight of him anchoring himself to you, like heâs been carrying the absence of this moment for too long, and can no longer bear it.
You stand frozen, caught off guard by the heat of him, the quiet urgency in his embrace, the way he fits against you like heâs spent the past four years trying to unlearn the shape of thisâand failing.
âSunghoon,â you say, your voice fragile, unsteady, trembling at the edge of disbelief. âWhat are youâ?â
But he doesnât let go.
âDonât leave me,â he chokes out, the words low and fractured, muffled into the fabric of your t-shirt. You feel his breath at the side of your neck before you hear his next words.
âPleaseâŠâ
You feel it thenâhow hard heâs shaking. How tightly his fingers clutch at the back of your shirt like a lifeline. The weight of his body pressed against yours isnât just exhaustionâitâs grief, longing, guiltâall of it simmering under the surface and spilling out in a single, vulnerable plea.
Your hands hover awkwardly at your sides, unsure where theyâre allowed to go. Unsure if theyâre still his to reach for. And somehow, that hesitationâyour silence, that flicker of doubtâit splits something open inside him.
âIâll wait,â he blurts suddenly, pulling back just enough so he can look you in the eye. His own are red-rimmed, glassy, but thereâs a sharp kind of clarity there too. âIâll wait for you, Y/N.â
âSunghoonâŠâ you whisper, your voice unsteady, caught somewhere between confusion and something that feels dangerously close to hope. âWhere is this coming from?â
His chest is rising and falling against yours, uneven. He swallows hard, and you see itâthe way his jaw flexes like heâs trying to keep himself steady. His eyes flicker, not away from you, but like heâs searching for the words heâs never learned how to say out loud. His breath catches once, then again, before he finally forces himself to speak.
âI read the article,â he says, quiet but clear.
And immediately, you understand. Because you know exactly what part heâs referring toânot the skating analysis, not the announcement of his retirement. He means the parts laced with goodbye. The parts where your words stopped being objective and became soft, tired farewells tucked between the lines that only he would recognise.
It was a goodbye to skating.
But more pressinglyâfor Sunghoonâit read like a goodbye to him.
âLet goââ you start, trying to get some space, to breathe, to make sense of the tangle youâve both fallen into.
But his grip only tightens.
âThat articleââ You pause, biting down the rush of emotion rising in your throat. âThat article wasnât meant to change anything.â
âI know,â he says, his arms still around you. âBut it did. It made me realise just how much Iâve tried to pretend I could move on from you.â
You freeze. Not because you donât understand him, but because you do. Too well. And that terrifies you.
âLet go,â you say quietly, voice strained, like you need to put space between you before you drown in everything heâs saying. âJust⊠let go so we can talk.â
He hesitates, then releases you with reluctance, his hands falling to his sides like he doesnât know what to do with them now that they arenât holding you. You catch the way his shoulders rise, tense and uneasy. How his hands shake slightly at his sides. And when he blinks, thatâs when you see itâhis eyes glossing over, the shimmer of something threatening to spill.
âI never stopped loving you,â he says, his voice cracking at the edges. âEven when I left. Even when I convinced myself it was better that way. I still loved you. I just⊠didnât know how to be with you and still be okay with myself.â
âNow suddenly youâve figured it all out?â you ask, and the bitterness in your tone surprises even you. But itâs real. Youâre not trying to punish himâyouâre just scared. Scared of falling back into something that once left you hollow.
âNo,â he says immediately, and thereâs no defensiveness in his voiceâjust quiet truth. âNot suddenly. But Iâve had time. And space. And it turns out neither of those things taught me how to forget you, Y/N.â
You look at himâreally lookâand it hits you just how much effort itâs taking him to say these things. How his shoulders are drawn tight, how he canât keep still, how his fingers twitch like they want to ball into fists but wonât. Heâs not used to thisâexposing himself, risking the quiet between you.
And you hate how much you want to believe him. How even now, your heart betrays you by leaping at his words, melting at the sound of your name in his mouth like it still belongs there.
You press your lips together, trying to swallow the ache building in your throat. You want to scream, to cry, to ask why heâs doing this nowâwhy he always waits until itâs too late. Why he only finds the words once your heartâs already been rearranged around his absence.
But all that comes out is, âYouâre saying everything I wanted to hear back then, Sunghoon. But thatâs the thingâitâs back then. Iâm not the same girl you remember. Iâm not the girl who was always waiting for you to show up.â
And yet, even as the words leave your mouth, you know that was a blatant lie. Because the truth is, you were that girl. For far longer than youâd ever admit.
âYou asked me then,â he starts, voice barely above a whisper, âWhat do I remember you by.â
You freeze.
Itâs not the sentence itself that gets youâitâs the way he says it. Careful. Almost reverent. Like the question has been haunting him all this time, long after you threw it into the air thinking it would vanish unanswered.
âI remember you as the girl who poured her entire heart into everything she touchedâyour academics, your friendships⊠me, even after I left for Spain. You were relentless in the way you showed up for people, even when they didnât always know how to show up for you.â
He doesnât look at you immediately. His gaze drifts somewhere over your shoulder, like the weight of the memory is too tender to hold eye contact just yet.
Your heart clenches. You hate how easily those memories come flooding backâthe all-nighters, the deadlines, the way you clung to structure and control because it was the only thing you could manage while everything with him felt like trying to build a home on sand.
âI remember our first day. Freshman orientation. You couldnât even look at me properly when we got paired up. I thought you hated me,â his lips twitch, faintly, like heâs caught between a smile and something sadder. âBut then you offered to carry half the pamphlets because I looked tired from training, and I realisedâyou were just shy. You were this quiet, nervous girl who still somehow managed to be kind when she was uncomfortable.â
Now his eyes return to yours, and thereâs something in them that makes your chest ache. Heâs remembering you, in detail, like he carried those moments with him even when he left you behind. And that shouldnât make you feel warm. But it does. And you hate that.
âI remember the blush on your cheek when you asked me out for the first time,â he says, smiling faintly. âYou were so nervous I thought you were going to change your mind halfway through. But you didnât. You stood there, eyes wide, hands shaking, and still said it anyway.â
You hate how clearly you remember that moment too. The way your heart had raced. The way he smiled at you like youâd surprised him in the best possible way.
âI remember you sitting in the bleachers,â he continues. âHead down, focused on your notes, your laptop. But you were watching me, too. Even when you didnât say anything, you were always there. And God, that meant more than I ever told you.â
Your grip tightens over your sleeves, arms crossed to stop your hands from shaking.
âI remember how your eyes would light up when you opened those Popmart boxes, like it was magic every single time. Youâd show me the little figurine like it was gold. And youâd smile at me like you wanted me to be excited with you. I didnât always get it. But I remember thinking, I hope she knows how loved she deserves to feel for the rest of her life.â
Your eyes sting.
He shifts, like the next words are heavier, harder to pull from his chest.
âI remember your words,â he says now, gaze locked on yours. âThe ones you gave so freely when I was too buried in pressure to ask for them. I remember your voice when you encouraged me, when you believed in me, when I didnât believe in myself.â
âI remember the warmth of your hugs. I remember the shape of your lips when you kissed me. And everything in between.â
His eyes lower for a beat. His tone changesânot dimmer, but honest in a way that hurts.
âAnd I remember the fights too. The arguments. The silences. The doors that closed too hard, and the words that came out sharper than we meant them to. I remember how frustrated you got. I remember how I pulled away. And I remember that, tooâbecause even those moments mattered. Even those were you loving me in the only way you knew how: by fighting for us.â
He looks back at you now, fully, like heâs trying to hand you all of itâevery memory, every piece. Your chest tightens, breath caught between inhale and collapse.
âYou loved me enough to care. Even when it got messy. Even when I made it hard. You cared when I didnât know how to. You stayed when I didnât make it easy to be around me.â
The tears come then. They track down his cheeks slowly at first, then faster, like somethingâs come loose inside him that he canât hold back anymore. He doesnât wipe them away. He just stands there, crying in front of you like heâs spent years trying not to.
âAnd I think about that version of us all the time,â he says. âNot just the good. Not just the beautiful. But all of it. The whole you. The real you.â
âThatâs how I remember you, Y/N. I remember you as the girl who loved me when I didnât know how to love myself. And even now, Iâm still trying to figure out how to be someone who was worthy of all that love."
Your breath catches, but you donât let it out. Not yet.
Because something in you knows that if you exhale, if you react, you might fall apart entirely.
His words are still hanging in the air, soft but sharp, like silk laced with barbed wire. Theyâre gentleâbut they hurt. Because theyâre real. Because theyâre him. The him you waited for. The version you wanted to hear from long before all the damage was done.
And now heâs here, finally saying all the things you once begged for in silence. And you donât know what to do with it.
You feel a tear slip down your cheek before you even realise itâs there. Your heart is making too much noise in your chest. Every beat sounds like a memoryâof those bleacher nights, of ramen cups shared between lectures, of the small, quiet joy of feeling seen, even when he never said it out loud. You remember all those things too.
And thatâs the problem.
Because part of you wants to believe it. Wants to step forward. Wants to reach for him and say, I remember you, too. Not the public figure. Not the Ice Prince. But the boy who once laid his head in your lap after a long day and asked you to stay, even if he couldnât say the words.
But another part of youâolder now, wearierâpulls back. Because love wasnât enough the first time. Because his silence hurt. Because you were the one who waited. Who stayed. Who forgave and forgave and slowly lost parts of yourself trying to hold everything together while he figured out who he was without ever asking who you were becoming.
And now, here he is. Saying the right things. Crying real tears. Standing still when he used to run.
But what does that mean now, when youâve taught yourself to survive without him?
You feel your throat tighten, your arms crossed like a shield, like maybe if you just hold yourself hard enough, the years between you will stop trembling through your spine. You want to speakâbut nothing comes out.
Because how do you respond to something so tender when all youâve learned since him is to protect yourself from softness?
You blink up at him, your eyes burning, and part of you whispers, He means it this time.
And another voice, quieter but steady, asks, But is that enough?
So you say nothing for a moment. Just stand there. Your whole body a battlefield between memory and survival.
And then, softly, you speak.
âI donât know what to do with this,â you admit, eyes flicking away from him. âI donât know how to trust what youâre offering. You hurt me, Sunghoon. You left. And I carried that.â
You see the hope falter just a little in his eyes. But he nods.
âIâm not asking you to do anything,â he says. âI justâŠÂ I couldnât let your words be the last thing between us. I needed you to know that I remember you. That I never stopped loving you.â
You donât respond right away. You donât know how to. Your heart is loud in your ears, screaming all the things youâre too scared to say. Because this feels like standing on a cliff again, and this time, youâre not sure if thereâs anything on the other side to catch you.
âIâll wait,â he says suddenly, voice rough, but steady with something fierce. âIf you need time, Iâll give it. If you need space, Iâll step back. But justâpleaseâ
Your throat tightens. âAnd what if I donât have anything left to give you?â
âThen Iâll understand,â he says, voice rough. âIâll carry that. But I had to say it. I had to try. And I know it doesnât make up for anything, but itâs all Iâve got. Iâm standing here, telling you I love you, and I will waitâfor however long it takesâbecause I donât want to live the rest of my life wondering if you ever wouldâve said yes.â
And just like that, you feel the air leave your lungs in one long, shaking exhale. Not from panic. Not from pain. But from a bittersweet relief.
The sincerity in his voice is unmistakableâstripped bare of pride, of performance, of everything he used to hide behind. This isnât the Sunghoon who pulled away, who stayed silent when it mattered. This is the boy who finally understands what it means to show up.
After four years of silence, a leg injury that will never truly heal, and a heart broken into a million piecesâyours, his, bothâshattered by time, by distance, by everything neither of you had the words to fix back then.
And Sunghoonâyour Sunghoon, the one who knows you better than youâd like to admitâwatches you carefully, like heâs afraid youâll misinterpret everything heâs just saidâafraid youâll think this is another case of bad timing or misplaced nostalgia.
Then, after a long, tentative pause, his voice softensâbut thereâs no doubt in it.
âAnd I know we already talked about this the other day,â he says, his voice careful. âBut just so weâre clear⊠I need you to hear it again.â
You look up, heart thudding as he meets your gaze head-on.
âThis⊠us⊠me being here,â he says slowly, deliberately, âitâs not because skating didnât work out. Itâs not some knee-jerk reaction because the ice stopped being kind to me.â His throat bobs as he swallows, blinking back the weight behind his words.
âI fell out of love with skating a long time ago,â he continues, âbut I never fell out of love with you, Y/N.â
The silence that follows is immediate. Heavy.
Because no matter how hard youâve tried to bury the thoughtâor pretend it never crossed your mindâit still lingers in the quiet, persistent and sharp: If he hadnât lost skating⊠would he have come back at all?
But now, with that truth laid bare between you, your breath catches.âand for the first time in a long time, you donât feel like someone he remembered too late. You donât feel like the consolation prize. Or the safe fallback.
You feel chosen.
Heâs here. He finally ran to youânot out of impulse, not out of guilt, and most certainly not because he had nowhere else to go.
But because he wants to stay. In the mess he created. In the aftermath. In whatever comes next.
He made sure to communicate that clearly to you.
And for the first timeâheâs the one offering to wait. Heâs not asking for guarantees. Heâs not walking ahead, expecting you to catch up.
Heâs right here.
Meeting you halfway.
The same halfway that, truthfully, youâve never walked away from. Not really. Not fully. Because even in the silence, even in the years you spent convincing yourself youâd moved on, there was always a part of you standing in placeâwaitingâin every version of yourself you tried to become without him, wondering if heâd ever meet you there.
Now he has.
And the truth is, you still want him just as much as he wants you.
You donât know the exact moment the clarity came.
Maybe it was the way his voice cracked when he said your name, like it physically hurt to speak it aloud. Maybe it was the way he remembered every tiny, unremarkable piece of youâthe girl who sat in the bleachers, who lit up at Popmart figurines, who loved so loudly it scared him. Maybe it was the way he criedâopenly, without shameâor how he waited for your silence like he was willing to carry whatever your answer might be.
But when it hit, it was quiet. Gentle. Unmistakable.
You still love him. You never stopped.
You tried. God, you really tried. You built a life without him, crafted a version of yourself that didnât flinch at his name, convinced yourself you were fineâthat you could breathe without the weight of his absence crushing your ribs. But even on your best days, there was always that ache. That dull, ever-present ache that no one else ever quite touched.
âIâm sorry for making this complicated for you,â Sunghoon says suddenly, voice so soft it nearly gets swallowed by the quiet. âIâll give you time to think.â
He starts to turn away, the line of his shoulders already retreating, his eyes cast to the ground like heâs ready to disappear again.
You should say something.
But you donât.
You just moveâmore instinct than anything. One step, then two, and wrap your arms around him from behind like youâre anchoring yourself to the only thing thatâs ever felt simultaneously this terrifying and this right.
Sunghoon freezes. Completely still.
You feel it first in the way his shoulders tense, tension rippling through his body like your touch startles something buried too deep to nameâthen the slow, excruciating way he exhales, as if heâs been holding his breath the whole time.
You press your forehead lightly into his back. Heâs warm. Solid. Real.
Sunghoon shifts, beginning to turn toward you but your grip tightens ever so slightly. âNo. Donât turn around yet,â you say, your voice trembling. âNot yet. Just⊠listen.â
His breath catches again, but he nods, hands limp at his sides, letting you press your heart against the shape of his back like it might finally say all the things your mouth never could.
You close your eyes and let the words comeâraw and unpolished, everything youâve buried for far too long.
âI hated how you shut down when things got hard between us. I hated how I always had to be the one to reach out, to fix things, to guess what you were feeling when all I wanted was for you to just say it.â
His shoulders flinch slightly. You can feel the guilt settle into the line of his spine. His heartbeat picks up, echoing between you like thunder. Still, he doesnât move.
âI hated how you always made decisions on your ownâlike I wasnât part of the picture. Like love was something you had to protect me from instead of something we couldâve fought for together.â
Your voice cracks on the last word, but you push through.
âI hated how you walked away without telling me the truth. How you let me believe I wasnât worth holding onto.â Your grip loosens as your voice softens. And as you do, Sunghoonâs fingers twitch near yours like he wants to reach for your hand but doesnât know if heâs allowed.
âAnd worst of all I hate that even after all of thatâafter the silence, the heartbreak, the wonderingâI still canât forget you.â
His fingers curl slightly, not quite fists, but as if holding himself in place. As if your words are the only thing keeping him from falling apart.
âI love the way you lace your skates, the way you scrunch your nose when you laugh, the way you never let go of your childhood dreams even when they broke you. I love how you tried to protect meâeven if it hurt. I love how you remember everything about me, even the things I thought didnât matter. Even the things I was sure you forgot.â
You speak.
âI love how you cuddled me in my sleepâI hate how you let the quiet speak for you. I love how you loved me, even when you didnât know how to show it. Even when I hate the fact you didnât know how to show it.â
He listens.
And with every word you spill, every confession you finally give voice to, something in him unknots. His spine softens against you, leaning back into your embraceâjust enough for you to feel the weight of him, the way he surrenders to the moment. His heartbeat thrums steadily beneath the fabric of his hoodie, loud and alive where your cheek presses lightly into the space between his shoulder blades.
âAnd I hate how I still love all those parts. The beautiful ones, the difficult ones, the ones that tore me apart.â
Sunghoon doesnât speak right away. Doesnât even move until heâs sure youâre done.
âI never stopped loving you, Sunghoon. Thatâs the problem.â
When you whisper those words, you swear he stops breathing altogether. You feel it rush out of him, like the weight of that truth floors him where he stands.
âI donât need time,â you add, barely audible. âI just needed to be sure this was real. That you were.â You take a shuddering breath, close your eyes, and press your cheek more firmly against himâhoping, in some impossible way, that you can feel him even closer than he already is.
âIâm scared,â you admit. âI donât know how to do this again. I donât know how to trust what we were, or what we could be. But I know I still care. I know I still want you.â
âAnd Iâm tired of pretending I donât.â
God, you want to laugh. Or slap yourself in the face because of how terrifyingly easy it was to believe him again. How a few trembling words and tear-soaked confessions cracked through years of hurt like they were never there to begin with.
How your heart, traitorous and stubborn, still knows the shape of him like a story it never stopped rereading.
And your stupid, foolish heartâbruised from all the almosts and maybesâis choosing to continue writing that story.
You donât say anything more.
And thatâs when he moves.
Slowly, cautiously, Sunghoon turns in your arms, and the look in his eyes nearly shatters you. Hope. Guilt. Wonder. All of it, all at once.
His eyes are glossy, lips parted in disbelief. His hands rise, trembling as he cups your faceâso gently, like heâs afraid youâll slip through his fingers if he blinks. You feel the pulse in his fingertips where his thumb brushes your jawâstill racing, still loud. Like your presence alone is enough to send it surging. Like heâs never been more alive than in this quiet, fragile moment with you.
He gently rests his forehead against yours, the space between you shrinking until it barely exists. His hands are trembling, but his touch is impossibly tenderâthumb brushing against your cheek, catching a tear, and then another. You hadnât even realised you were full-blown crying until his fingers found the evidence.
And thenâjust when you think your heart canât take any moreâhis next words knock the air from your lungs like a punch and a prayer all at once.
âCan I kiss you?â he whispers, voice hoarse and breaking with every syllable. âPlease⊠tell me I still can.â
The plea hangs between you, fragile and breathless.
His chest is rising and falling in shallow, uneven rhythm, his pulse frantic beneath your fingertips as you reach upâslowly, instinctivelyâand wrap your fingers around his wrist. You can feel it there: the raw, aching thrum of his heartbeat, louder than words. Like your touch alone is enough to undo him.
Heâs never looked more vulnerable. Never more real. Thereâs no mask, no distance, no practiced calmâjust him. Just Sunghoon, standing in front of you with nothing left to offer but his whole heart, held out in both hands.
You let out a shaky breath, the corners of your lips lifting despite the tears still wet on your skin.
And thenâsoft, quiet, but certainâyou say, âYes.â
As soon as the word leaves your lipsâsoft, breathless, and trembling with everything youâve held back for yearsâSunghoon moves.
Thereâs no hesitation. No time wasted.
The moment he hears your yes, he closes the distance like a man starved for something he thought heâd never taste again. His hands frame your face with a yearning so delicate it makes your heart ache. And thenâheâs kissing you.
It isnât hurried or rough. Itâs deep and devastating, like an apology and a promise all wrapped into one. Like heâs trying to pour four years of silence, of longing, of every missed chance into a single touch.
He kisses you like itâs the first time and the last time all at once.
And youâgod, you melt into it. Into him. Into the feeling of home rediscovered, of time folding in on itself. Your fingers find their way into the hem of his hoodie, clinging onto him like youâre afraid he might vanish if you let go.
But he doesnât.
He stays.
And so do you.
When you finally find it in you to pull away, you do so slowlyâreluctantlyâas if your body hasnât quite caught up with your mind yet. As if some part of you still isnât ready to let go. Your foreheads stay pressed together, breath mingling in the narrow space between you, warm and uneven.
Youâre both breathless. Messy. His hair is damp at the edges, your cheeks are flushed, and your eyes sting with the remnants of unshed tears. His thumb lingers at your jaw, gently tracing the skin as if to memorise the feel of you all over again. You feel the tremble in his breath when he exhales, feel the soft thud of his heart still racing beneath your fingertips.
He doesnât speak right away. Neither do you.
Because in that moment, thereâs nothing to say that could possibly match the weight of what just passed between you.
Youâd been broken once. Both of you.
But right nowâin this quiet, tangled stillnessâit feels like the pieces are finally trying to come back together.
You lean in again, lips parted, drawn to him like gravityâlike your heart still hasnât had enough. But just as your breath brushes against his skin, he gently places a hand on your shoulder and eases you back.
The moment stalls. You blink, startled. A flicker of panic rises in your chestâwas this a mistake? Did he change his mind?
But then he smiles. Soft. Steady. The kind of smile that anchors you.
He pulls you into his arms, wrapping you tight against his chest, one hand cradling the back of your head like heâs afraid youâll shatter if he holds you any less carefully.
âBelieve me,â he murmurs into your hair, voice thick with restraint, âI want you so bad.â
He pulls back just enough to look at you, thumb tracing your cheek, his gaze unbearably tender. âBut not like this. Not when your heartâs still racing and your thoughts are a blur. I donât want this to be another moment we look back on and wonder if it was real.â
His forehead rests gently against yours again, breath fanning over your lips.
Youâre stunned by his honestyâby the weight of his restraint, the care in his voice. And you canât help but compare him to the Sunghoon from four years ago. The boy who never quite knew how to sit still in the presence of raw emotion, whoâd grown so used to skating past vulnerability that he forgot how to let someone in.
Back then, he wouldâve kissed you anyway. Not out of selfishness, but out of fearâfear of the silence that might follow, fear of what waiting might reveal. He didnât know how to confront intimacy without flinching.
But thisâthis Sunghoon in front of you nowâisnât running from the stillness. Heâs standing in it. Letting the quiet settle between you like a promise.
Heâs not rushing. Heâs not deflecting. Heâs choosing you with intention.
âI want to do this right. Slow, if thatâs what it takes. With all of youânot just the part thatâs still reeling from the fall. â
You nod. âYou can stay the night if you like⊠on the couch, of course.â
He grins, eyes flickering with something fond, something teasingâbut there's warmth behind it, restraint. âStarting from ground zero, I see.â He lets out a breath, gentle and steady. âIâm grateful. Really. But I wonât overstay tonight. I thinkâŠâ he pauses, gaze dropping to the floor for a brief second before finding you again, more grounded now, âI think we both have some thinking to do too. And frankly speaking, if you look at me like that any longer, I might actually lose my shit.â
You laugh, soft and disbelieving, the sound muffled by the sleeve you raise to your mouth. And as much as your heart aches to keep him close, to fall back into the comfort of familiarity, you both know tonight canât be about slipping into old rhythms too soon. Not when everything between you is still new and fragile in its honesty.
He reaches out and brushes a hand over your arm. âLet me put you to sleep,â he says, voice lower now, softer. âAnd then Iâll go.â
And you donât fight him on it. Because for the first time, he isnât leaving to run.
Heâs leaving to give you room to choose.
The moment your head hits the pillow, and you feel his lips press a gentle kiss to your forehead, your body sinks into the mattress like it's exhaling. You're not sure if it's the exhaustion from everything thatâs unravelled between you earlier, or the undeniable familiarity of having him close againâhis scent, his warmth, the quiet hum of his breath near yoursâbut sleep finds you almost instantly. It's as if your body remembers him. Trusts him.
Sunghoon lingers. He sits by the edge of your bed, watching the rise and fall of your chest, the soft creases of worry smoothing out from your brow now that you're resting. A small, breathy chuckle escapes him as he leans down, brushing a few strands of hair from your face. âSo peaceful,â he whispers, almost to himself, âand still somehow managing to look like you carry the weight of the world.â
He stays a second longer than he should. Maybe two.
And then, quietly, he stands to leaveâonly to catch the soft glow of your laptop screen still open on your desk. He walks over, intending to shut it, give you the rest you deserve. But as his eyes flicker toward the screen, he recognises the subject line immediately. It's the email to your editor. The article draft.
The cursor blinks steadily at the end of the draftâthe same paragraph that started it all.
Goodbye, Park Sunghoon,
And thank you for everything you didnât have to say.|
The words land like a quiet echo in his chest.
He glances back at your sleeping form on the bed, a faint, solemn smile tugging at his lips. Then he turns, quietly taking a seat at your desk. His fingers hover above the keyboard for a moment.
And thenâbackspace.
Letter by letter, he deletes the final paragraph. In its place, he types slowly. Carefully. Like each word is a stitch trying to mend whatâs been frayed for too long.
When heâs done, he hovers for a moment, rereading every wordâthen clicks âSend.â The email spins off toward your editor. He stands, casts one last look in your direction, and quietly lets himself out.
The next morning, you wake groggy but oddly clear-headed, like your body is still catching up to the storm of feelings it weathered the night before. The room is quiet. Sunlight spills in softly through the blinds, casting golden slats across your blanket. For a moment, you wonder if any of it was realâif he really came, really stood in your doorway, cried in your arms, asked to kiss you like it meant everything.
But the slight indent on the couch cushion. The mug he used. The scent that still lingers faintly in the airâall of it confirms: he was here. It was real.
Your heart thumps at the memory, but itâs interrupted by a harsh vibration rattling on your nightstand. You blink at your phone, screen flooded with notificationsâdozens of missed calls, texts, and pings from your editorial team.
Chase headlines, not men. Catch exclusives, not feelings. âïž
Yunah:
@/you I know you're off today, but I just wanted to say CONGRATS on your story!! See, I knew you could pull this off.
[Attached: 1 Link]
Moka:
The internet is LOSING it over the article!!!
Minju:
Still canât believe you landed exclusive on top of exclusive with Park Sunghoon. Legend behaviour.
Yunah:
Iâm equally shocked heâs been hiding that injury all this time đ
Minju:
I donât want to stress you out but⊠our public inbox is full of people sending selfies of themselves crying. Literal tears.
Moka:
I mean did you READ that last paragraph??? I sobbed too.
You blink at your phone, stunned. Messages keep pouring inâsome from colleagues you barely know, others from strangers outside your publication, all echoing the same thing: the article hit them hard.
Which is⊠strange. Because you donât remember sending the draft.
Brows furrowed, you scroll up through your texts until you find the link Yunah sent. You tap it.
The article is live.
You hold your breath as you read through the bylineâyour name, front and centre. The formatting. The intro you agonised over. The quotes, the story, the soul of it. And then you scroll to the end.
A smile tugs at your lips, and you pull up your chat with Sunghoon.
You:
[Attached: 1 Screenshot]
Was this your doing?
His reply is almost instant.
Sunghoon:
Good morning :)
Maybe? PR said they wanted to switch it up.
You:
And by PR you mean... you?
Sunghoon:
đ
I meant every word.
Itâs what I wanted to say to you and to the world.
Why⊠was it too corny? Iâm sorry if I overstepped.
You bite your lip, heart stupidly fluttering as you reread his words.
You:
No no. Just kinda mad I didnât think of that myself đ
Sunghoon:
Well, you canât beat years of media training đ€·ââïž
You:
Sunghoon, I WORK for the mediaâŠ
He replies almost immediately, like heâs been waiting for your comeback.
Sunghoon:
Let me make it up to you for one-upping you.
Dinner tonight? My treat.
Your fingers hover over the keyboard for a beat before you reply.
You:
I would not accept otherwise.
You set the phone down, unable to contain the quiet laugh that escapes you. Because despite everythingâthe heartbreak, the years apart, the mess of it allâyouâve never felt more like you were exactly where you were meant to be.
The two of you walk slowly along the riverbank, hands gently entwined, his thumb occasionally sweeping across your knuckles like he's still making sure you're real. The evening is still, like even the world has paused to listen. A breeze brushes past, gentle and cool, carrying the scent of spring and something sweet that lingersâsomething that smells like beginnings.
You glance down at your interlocked fingers, how naturally they fall into placeâlike no time has passed at all. The rhythm of your footsteps syncs without effort, the silence between you not heavy, but full. Comfortable. Honest. Familiar in all the ways that matter.
âThis feels like our first date,â you say, smiling without meaning to, the corners of your lips tugged by something warm and indescribable.
He laughs under his breath, a soft, breathy sound that makes your heart swell. âMaybe it is,â he replies. âThe first one where I finally know what Iâm doing.â
You donât reply. Not because you have nothing to say, but because every part of this moment already says it for you.
The sky above is endless, dark velvet speckled with stars. The world moves quietly around youâboats drifting in the distance, couples passing by, the faint sound of laughter from a nearby cafe. But for the first time in a long time, it doesnât feel like youâre watching it all from behind a glass wall. Youâre here. Present. With him.
And heâs here tooâreally here, not as a shadow of a memory, not as someone you're chasing or mourning. But as a man who's finally choosing to stay beside you.
And you thinkâif the world ended right now, if the river froze and time stopped stillâyou would not ask for more than this. Not more than his hand in yours, his voice low beside you, his presence finally steady after years of disappearing acts and empty spaces.
You look at himânot the athlete, not the headline, not the boy who once walked awayâbut the man who returned with no armour, no excuses, only truths. Who stood in front of you trembling, terrified, and still chose to stay. And when you speak, your voice is quiet but certain.
âYou couldâve come back with promises, with charm, with all the right words at the wrong time. But you didnât.â
Thereâs a small beat of silence where he stops walking and you do too, feet planted at the edge of the path where the river glistens. He faces you fully now, his hand still holding yours.
âYou came back to me with everything I ever needed,â you continue.
He opens his mouth, but no words comeâjust the subtle tremble of his chin, the storm of emotions flickering behind his eyes. You take a step closer, pressing your forehead against his, feeling his breath shudder out as though even now, this is too much to believe.
âThis,â he says, almost to himself, âis what I shouldâve fought for back then.â
"All that matters is you are now," you whisper. "You left, and then you learned. You grew. And then you came back.â
And thatâs the difference. Thatâs everything.
This isnât about returning to the past. This is about two people, standing in the aftermath of everything they werenât ready for then, finally finding each other in a version of the world where they are. Choosing to begin againânot from scratch, but from everything theyâve carried and learned and lived through.
His hand stays in yours, steady and warm, like a vow made without words.
You kiss him.
And this time, the kiss isnât a promise or an apology. Itâs not an act of desperation or regret. Itâs a homecoming.
It tastes like relief. Like forgiveness. Like all the years that tried to pull you apart finally surrendering to the truth that you were always meant to find your way back.
When you pull away, he doesnât say anything right away. He just holds you closer, like letting go would unravel the universe itself.
You rest your head on his shoulder, and in that embraceâquiet and undramatic, warm and steadyâyou finally understand what it means to be loved not just in the way you wanted, but in the way you deserved.
Because he loves you now in the way that matters most.
Not as the boy who left. Not as the echo of a love lost to time. But as the man who finally came back to put every broken piece back together with his own hands.
This isnât the love you spent years waiting for.
Itâs the love he had to fight to grow into. The kind born from mistakes, shaped by time, and strengthened through absence. Itâs messy. Flawed. Earned. Real.
It's the kind of love that's loud in his words as much as it is in his presence.
Itâs the kind of love that sees all of you. Not just the polished, loveable parts, but the fractured ones tooâand stays anyway.
And for Sunghoon, this is the love he has worked to deserve. The kind of love that took almost losing everything to understand.
Skating. Himself. You.
Skating was his first loveâthe kind that demanded everything and gave just as much, until it didnât. And like most first loves, it burned bright, glorious, then quietly slipped beyond reach.
And when he said he fell out of love with it a long time ago, something inside you aches.
Because you remember. God, you remember how much he loved it. How much it meant to him. You were there for the early mornings, the ice-burned skin, the sacrifices. You watched him speak with his body when words failed, carve art into frozen ground like it was the only way he knew how to breathe. Skating wasnât just something he did. Itâs his compass. His language. His sanctuary.
You mourn the love he lostâbecause it was beautiful. Because it made him who he was. Because you can only imagine what he mustâve gone through to lose that love. To say it out loud. To bury it. And because it hurts to know that even something so beloved can slip away.
And yet⊠here he is. Standing in front of you, offering up the ashes of what once fuelled him, just to prove that loving you never burned out. That you outlasted the thing that defined him for most of his life. That somehow, someway, you came out on the other sideânot as a consolation, but as a constant.
Even now, you donât know what to do with that kind of love. A love that gave up the world just to come home to you.
Because you know what it cost him. What it cost you.
And even though some part of you swells at the thought that he never stopped choosing you, thereâs another part that grieves for everything he lost along the way.
But one thing is certain:
While skating may have been his first love, Sunghoon intends for you to be his last.
So youâll love him with both hands open. With reverence for the boy he used to be, with gratitude for the man heâs become, and with tenderness for all the versions of him in between.
You will carry the echoes of the boy who once chased gold on the ice and hold space for the man who let it go.
And thatâs the way youâll love himâ
The way he loves you.
[MANIFESTO EXCLUSIVE]
The Final Bow: Park Sunghoon Withdraws from Olympic Delegation and Announces Retirement
By Kang Y/N, Manifesto Daily
In a move that has taken the sports world by quiet surprise, South Korean figure skater Park Sunghoon has officially withdrawn from the 2026 Olympic delegation and announced his retirement from competitive skating.
Park, who recently stunned audiences with a breathtaking performance at the national Olympic tryouts, was widely anticipated to lead the menâs singles category for Team Korea. His name sat at the top of the final athlete roster released by the Korean Skating Union, cementing his spot after years spent away from the competitive spotlight.
However, behind the seamless technique and poise he displayed during the tryouts, Park had been skating through pain. After sustaining a severe tendon injury to his right leg during training abroad in 2023, he underwent a long and difficult recoveryâone that, according to the athlete, never fully restored his capacity to train at the level he once held. Despite managing the condition in silence, Park made the decision to step away before risking further damage to his body.
Having spent the last few years recovering and training quietly overseas, Park re-entered the national circuit not to chase medals, but to rediscover what skating meant to him beyond the pressure of podiums and public expectation. His performance at the tryouts was not only a technical feat but also a statement. A reclamation. A reminder that skating, at its core, was always more than a career. It was a language of feeling.
In his official statement, Park expressed gratitude for the opportunity to return to the ice one last time: âI want to remember it the way Iâve always loved it. For what it gave me. For who I was when I first stepped on the ice.â
Parkâs career has never been defined by loud declarations. He was known for his quiet discipline, his ability to translate stillness into power, grace into precision. From his early victories on the junior circuit to his more introspective, mature performances in recent years, he has remained one of the few athletes whose artistry often spoke louder than any press release.
Though his departure from the delegation was unexpected, it wasnât without intent. Parkâs decision to step back at the height of anticipation is a reminder that not all victories are won under stadium lights. Some are claimed in the quiet resolve to walk away on your own terms.
In related news, Parkâs withdrawal comes just days after the delegation announcement, and in his place, 19-year-old rising star Han Jihoon has been selected to represent Korea in the menâs singles category. Han, who placed fourth at the national tryouts, is widely regarded as one of the most technically gifted athletes of his generation, with a growing fanbase and a reputation for innovation on the ice.
As for Park Sunghoon, he leaves behind a legacy not of statistics, but of stillness. Of dignity. Of skating that always seemed to speak in the spaces where words fell short.
And maybe that was the point all along. Maybe it was never about the podium. Maybe the real victory was simply finding your way back to loving something you once thought you had to leave behind.
i will never get tired of tfwy fics there are tears everywhere đđ ever since i discovered safe & sound i knew theyâd be one of my fav writers THIS IS GOLD
love never came easy. sometimes, it didnât come at all. and when it did, it slipped through your fingers before you even knew it was there. but in the quiet moments, the ones that felt small and went unnoticed, thatâs where love lingered. if you were lucky, it stayed. and maybe, that was all you could really ask for.
status. 0/7 complete
note: this short series was inspired by lauvâs songs, specifically the oneâs each drabble is named after. im cheesed to be writing this cuz i love his music (and also bc jungwon was playing it during his recent live and i started crashing out) SO THESE ARE MY ENHA x LAUV CRUMBS !!! theyâre supposed to be oneshots but if i get inspired to write a second part for any particular one, i will :-)
YANG JUNGWON â I LIKE ME BETTER. (in progress)
âđ synopsis. jungwonâs life feels a little calmer with you in it. from late night walks by the river to early morning whispers of âi love youâ, you begin to realize that you like this version of yourselfâthe one when youâre with himâa lot better.
LEE HEESEUNG â MEAN IT. (planned)
âđ synopsis. you never meant to fall in love with heeseung. âcasualâ was what you called it, but between hushed confessions and lingering touches, you started to think it was turning into something real. until it wasnât. doubt made its way into your heart, making you wonder if he ever meant any of it.
PARK JONGSEONG â KIDS ARE BORN STARS. (not started)
âđ synopsis. three years ago, you broke up with jayâwell, sort of. you never actually dated, but you were close. he wanted to pursue his dreams in starting a band and traveling the world and who were you to stop him? you remember it like it was yesterday. the two of you were 17 when he told you, âsomeday, iâm gonna be a really big starâ. you believed him.
SIM JAEYUN â POTENTIAL. (not started)
âđ synopsis. jake swore he would never fall for you, but how could he not? ânext-door-neighbors-since-birth-turned-best friendsâ: it was basically a set up from the beginning. the catch? you had a boyfriend. and jake couldnât stand him.
PARK SUNGHOON â CHASING FIRE. (not started)
âđ synopsis. sunghoon was careful, deliberateânever the type to settle, never the type to stay where he wasnât wanted. there was no point in wasting your time on someone who didnât want you the same way you did. so why the hell was he still holding onto you like losing you would hurt more than loving you ever did?
KIM SUNOO â FEELINGS. (not started)
âđ synopsis. sunoo always wore his heart on his sleeve. he had never been good at hiding how he felt, especially not with you. with stolen glances and shy smiles, all he wanted was for you to be honest with himâwith yourself. deep down he knew you felt it too. and if waiting meant someday you'd say it out loud, he'd wait forever.
NISHIMURA RIKI â SUPERHERO. (not started)
âđ synopsis. riki messed up. he knew that. you made him feel real, and that terrified him. so he ranâthe one thing he was always good at. you're gone, and heâs left with the echo of what you were, or what you could have been. and now, he has to deal with the feeling of missing you.
IM SO EXCITED FOR THIS s&s still ongoing but i need time to plan future chapters so in the mean time we have desperately in love, yearning, and angsty enhypen I CHEERED
love never came easy. sometimes, it didnât come at all. and when it did, it slipped through your fingers before you even knew it was there. but in the quiet moments, the ones that felt small and went unnoticed, thatâs where love lingered. if you were lucky, it stayed. and maybe, that was all you could really ask for.
status. 1/7 complete
note: this short series was inspired by lauvâs songs, specifically the oneâs each drabble is named after. im cheesed to be writing this cuz i love his music (and also bc jungwon was playing it during his recent live and i started crashing out) SO THESE ARE MY ENHA x LAUV CRUMBS !!! theyâre supposed to be oneshots but if i get inspired to write a second part for any particular one, i will :-)
YANG JUNGWON â I LIKE ME BETTER. (COMPLETE)
âđ synopsis. jungwonâs life feels a little calmer with you in it. from everyday boring errands to early morning whispers of âi love youâ, you begin to realize that you like this version of yourselfâthe one when youâre with himâa lot better.
LEE HEESEUNG â MEAN IT. (planned)
âđ synopsis. you never meant to fall in love with heeseung. âcasualâ was what you called it, but between hushed confessions and lingering touches, you started to think it was turning into something real. until it wasnât. doubt made its way into your heart, making you wonder if he ever meant any of it.
PARK JONGSEONG â KIDS ARE BORN STARS. (not started)
âđ synopsis. three years ago, you broke up with jayâwell, sort of. you never actually dated, but you were close. he wanted to pursue his dreams in starting a band and traveling the world and who were you to stop him? you remember it like it was yesterday. the two of you were 17 when he told you, âsomeday, iâm gonna be a really big starâ. you believed him.
SIM JAEYUN â POTENTIAL. (not started)
âđ synopsis. jake swore he would never fall for you, but how could he not? ânext-door-neighbors-since-birth-turned-best friendsâ: it was basically a set up from the beginning. the catch? you had a boyfriend. and jake couldnât stand him.
PARK SUNGHOON â CHASING FIRE. (not started)
âđ synopsis. sunghoon was careful, deliberateânever the type to settle, never the type to stay where he wasnât wanted. there was no point in wasting your time on someone who didnât want you the same way you did. so why the hell was he still holding onto you like losing you would hurt more than loving you ever did?
KIM SUNOO â FEELINGS. (not started)
âđ synopsis. sunoo always wore his heart on his sleeve. he had never been good at hiding how he felt, especially not with you. with stolen glances and shy smiles, all he wanted was for you to be honest with himâwith yourself. deep down he knew you felt it too. and if waiting meant someday you'd say it out loud, he'd wait forever.
NISHIMURA RIKI â SUPERHERO. (not started)
âđ synopsis. riki messed up. he knew that. you made him feel real, and that terrified him. so he ranâthe one thing he was always good at. you're gone, and heâs left with the echo of what you were, or what you could have been. and now, he has to deal with the feeling of missing you.
synopsis âč àŁȘ Ë war. power. loss. love. secrets. sin. you were trained to do many things. that was why you chose to be here. the dragon-riding quadrant of the notorious Veirthorne Academy. they trained you to fight, to win, to survive. yet, they never taught you to be human.
genre(s) ᯠfantasy, angst, slow-burn, multiple love interests, smut
‷ warnings: explicit content, violence, death, graphic depictions of injury
êšïž note: spent all day writing this and i really enjoyed it tbh... a bit longer than the first chapter BUT new characters have been introduced so YAYYY!! next chap will prob take longer since im busy all weekend but hopefully that means it will be longer.. happy reading! <3
02 â the culling
anger.
to lose control is to place a weapon in your own hands, its edge pointing outwards.
a weapon that wounds.
one that kills.
deadly, powerful, and all consuming.
it courses through your veins until there is more feeling than bloodâthe one thing that served as a reminder that you were still human.
you could feel the warm trickle of scarlet coat your fingers, slowly dripping onto the gravel beneath your feet. his eyes glanced down at your hand, and not once did his expression falter. âyouâre bleeding, cadet.â
your gaze never left his face.
you hated it.
you hated that annoying look on his face whenever he saw you, like it was uniform.
you hated his eyes. deep, brown eyes that seemed just a little too empty.
you hated his lips. the way the corners turned up in a smug smile.
you hated him.
âi know that,â you spoke through gritted teeth.
âthen, you better go get that fixed. wouldnât want you bleeding out like this during training, do we?â
âof course, sir,â your tone was mocking. you watch his eyes narrow, jaw tightening in pure annoyance. you knew the healers had returned to their rightful quadrant already. the next time you see a healer would be at the next big trialâwhenever that may be. you knew he knew that, too.
jake.
your thoughts drifted to him, his sweet smile and gentle hands. you had barely met him, but he emitted this sense of warmth that loosened the tight coils of your fears. the kind of person that made you feel like the world could burn, but as long as he was alive, you could be at peace.
as if maybe, just maybe, all the light hadnât been stripped from the world just yet.
you hoped to see him again.
the boy turned his attention to the group before him. âi will be your squad leader for the remainder of your time here. this group, this section, this squadâit does not guarantee your survival. you have been assigned to the most dangerous, unpredictable section within this quadrant, because that is what you are. that means those around you are, too. death is inevitable. so, prepare for it. become it. anyone can be your enemy, whether it is today, tomorrow, or for the rest of your life,â
your thoughts drifted off to that girl.
the one who pushed you on the stairs.
your eyes scanned the rows of cadets around you.
there were fifteen of you total, excluding your dear squad leader.
she was no where in sight.
you took mental note of that. from now on, you knew she would come after you. you could feel it.
âthere are no formal events scheduled for the rest of the night. we will take you to your barracksâallow you all to settle in. get in as much sleep as you can tonight. you will need it for tomorrow,â with that, he turned on his heels and began moving forward. the rest of you followed along behind him. you weave through a few people before reaching the person you had been looking for since you had left jake.
your steps fell into line with hers. sensing your presence, she turned in your direction. her eyes widened in surprise, a cheery grin gracing her features.
she was pretty.
âoh thank Gods, youâre here too? i was worried iâd never see you again after today,â you returned the gesture.
âi donât die easily,â it was a joke, but she could tell it stung. just a little bit.
she slid her arm into the nook of your elbow, âwell, from now on i will make sure you donât die at all. we will be making it to third year together. it is my personal mission to break that stigma.â
you gaped at her in surprise.
third year.
rumor had it that not many cadets even survived long enough to make it past the first week.
living long enough to make it through first year was already a high accomplishment in itself.
âiâm hana, by the way. i never got to ask for your name âcause.. yâknow. near-death and all,â you let out a soft chuckle at that. ây/n.â
âokay, itâs settled then. y/n and hanaâmaking it to third year together!â
she was way too happy considering she almost died just a few hours ago.
maybe you needed someone like that, though.
that glimmer of hope to drown out your fear.
hope in a world overwhelmed with suffering.
you gave each other a knowing look before turning your attention back towards the front. the cobblestone walls of the riders quadrant was decorated with moss and vines. its cracks and rough corners emphasized the age of the academy. you noticed the slight divots underneath your feet.
hundreds, thousands of cadets had walked this very same path.
some for the very last time, others on their way to becoming riders.
you wondered if you could live long enough to consider yourself one of them.
âthis will be your sleeping quarters. training begins at dawn. i expect you to be there on time,â and with that, he left.
you watched as his figure retreated down the hallway, his eyes briefly locked with yours once he had reached the end of it. then, he turned the corner.
he was gone.
something about his gaze sent chills up your spine. you didnât know what it was, but it would be at the back of your mind for the rest of the night.
everyone settled into their respective beds. you chose the bed right in the middle beside hana. the minute the door had shut, you felt it. there was something eery about the barracks.
the atmosphere.
it was⊠tense.
a type of tension that felt deadly.
you tried not to dwell on it too much, but that feeling.
that gut feelingâit never left.
suddenly, the torches went out. a strong gust of wind blew across the room, causing everyone to shudder. you laid on the thin mattress, the sad excuse of a blanket pulled up to your chin. it was freezing. your body trembled lightly. the sheet did little to keep you warm, to ease your nerves.
then, a choked gasp was heard.
you immediately sat up, head snapping towards the source of the sound. you froze. the sight in front of you left you speechless.
the boy from earlier.
the one with the broken arm.
he had one end of a rolled up sheet in his fist, the other end between his bared teeth.
he was choking someone, strangling them with the shredded cloth.
âwhat the fuck are you doing?!â someone shouted, rushing over in attempt to save them. their face had turned a nasty shade of red, then blue. their nails were digging into the boyâs arm, scratching at him till he bled.
he looked over his shoulder, his gaze sharp. in one swift movement, he turned, his fist flying straight towards the cadetâs face.
crack.
the punch was powerful enough to knock her down, hands over her nose as she cried out in pain. he had broken her nose and Gods know what other bones in her face. he was strong. horrifyingly, so. you could feel your heart pounding in your ears. it muffled the sounds of chaos emitting from the other cadets.
âyou have been assigned to the most dangerous, unpredictable section within this quadrant, because that is what you are.â
âanyone can be your enemy, whether it is today, tomorrow, or for the rest of your life.â
that was what he said.
but this was what he meant.
loyalty was not a given just because you were in the same squad.
âthey are your family.â
a lie.
deception weaved between hopeful words, spoken with promise.
this wasnât family.
this was survival.
and survival had only one rule.
to kill.
anyone can be your enemy, and that meant everyone was.
you leaned over the empty space between you, gripping hanaâs arm and dragging her onto your bed. âtheyâre going to start killing each other.â
you could see the fear etched into her features, âbut i thoughtââ
âno, hana. remember where we are. what we are trying to become. this is not a game,â everything began to piece itself together in your head.
âthere are only so many dragons willing to bond each year. there are hundreds of us. dragons donât bond with weak humans, remember?â you reminded her, hands tightening around her shoulders as if to ground her, to keep her from completely losing her mind in this moment.
the weakâthey die first or they die at the hands of a dragon.
âthe parapet, that guy?â she nodded her head, her whole body locked up in fear.
âhe tried to kill you. and me. that didnât end just because we made it across,â you could see the realization settle, her skin underneath your fingers suddenly feeling hot.
âthisâthis is cruel! this isnât human! i donât want to kill someone thatâs fighting for the same thing i am!â you could see tears prick at her eyes.
you knew then.
she was scared.
weak.
that meant she was a target.
you knew being tied to her would make you one, too.
you had to make another choice.
kill her and turn into the monster you had sworn to become when you stepped foot on to that bridge, or protect her and cling onto the part of you that was still human.
you thought back to your family. what would they think of you if you had succumbed to the desire to kill? would they feel disgusted, horrified by who you were becoming? or would they praise you for surviving? Gods, was it cruel. to survive as a rider, you had to let go of humanity. it all made sense, too, which terrified you. you were here to fight for a spotâa bond.
dragons themselves, theyâre monsters. you couldnât escape that fate even if you tried, unless you were weak. unless a dragon deemed you unworthy and burned you to ashes on the spot.
unless you die.
âyou donât have to kill anyone. you just need to live.â your words left a bitter taste in your mouth, because you knew it was a lie.
this was just the beginning.
it starts with deceit.
then, it spirals into something savage.
a vicious truth you can never come back from.
all hell had broken loose.
cadetsâsome went for the kill, others stayed alert and chose to avoid conflict at all costs.
some kills were successful, others werenât. their failures birthed resentment. they sparked grudges and fueled rivalries that would not be forgotten until death.
then, there was blood.
it stained the walls, flowed like connecting rivers along the ground. the only evidence that those people ever lived. their bodies had been thrown over the side, hitting the concrete below with a painful thud.
it was brutal.
the scent of death. it made you sick. you could feel the bile rising in your throat, yet you forced it back down. you couldnât show weakness. you already had a giant target on your back. so, you didnât sleep. you forced yourself to stay awake, to watch. the moment you fell asleep, a hand could reach for your throat, a blade could sink itself into your heart.
so you sat there. right in the middle of the storm.
you prayed.
you prayed that your body would stay awake from pure adrenaline, that if someone lunged at you now, you would be able to react without hesitation.
without fear.
you allowed it to dissolve, slip between your fingers and get buried beneath everything else. you stored it away in a tiny, little box in your mind. you couldnât afford to be afraid, because fear gets you killed.
to survive, you had to become it.
by the time dawn had arrived, there were eleven of you left.
four peopleâdead.
hana was curled up beside you, her hands wrapped tightly around your arm, using your presence as an anchor to reality. your eyes were dry and irritated from being open for so long. a gentle breeze stirred the air. you could see the sun rising above the horizon from where you sat. you made it through the first day.
three years was starting to look a lot less doable.
the door creaked open.
a boy, one you hadnât seen before, stood at the archway. all eyes fell on him.
he scanned the room, noticing the sudden decrease in cadets. his expression was unreadable. you could see the faint shadow of his stubble across his jaw, his dark brown hair falling just below his eyes. there was a scar on his left eyebrow, cutting dangerously close to his eyelid.
âtraining begins in twenty minutes. gather your things and meet in the hall once you are ready. your squad leader is not particularly fond of late attendance,â he ignored the blood. he didnât even bother asking about the four missing people. he treated it like it was normal, and maybe, it was.
you stood up from your bed, slipping on your boots. hana did the same, but her movements seemed more sluggish. she hadnât slept a wink, either. after the events of yesterday, you were sure you would drop dead in a few hours. your body was exhausted, bruised, bleeding, and you had no time to properly rest. the cuts on your palms had reopened. you could feel the sting every time your hands flexed to tie your laces together. the once clean gauze was now a dull brown color. your torso felt raw, the bruising always being worse the second day, but they didnât care. no matter what injuries you may have, it didnât matter. bruised ribs and broken arms were an occupational hazardâcame with the job.
you pushed the pain down into that same little box you had made up in your head. the more you focused on the sting and the ache, the worse it would feel.
you followed the others outside of the room, hana trailing behind you. you could sense she had been thinking all night, her brain trying to justify everything all at once.
regret, shame, and fear.
she felt it all. now, she couldnât back out. it was too late.
your only way out of the riderâs quadrant was to die.
the training room was big; big enough to hold sixteen people.
the room had everything a rider-in-training could ask for. sparring mats laid across the floor, spaced apart with perfect precision. punching bags hung on one end of the room, while the other end had a wall lined with weapons.
real weapons. not sparring sticks and wooden swords, but real ones. the steel glistened as sunlight reflected off of it.
all the cadets stood in orderly formation. you chose to ignore the four empty spaces behind you. at the front stood squad leader yang, the male from earlier, a woman, and two other men you had never seen before. they all emitted the same energy.
powerful, cunning, and unforgiving.
pure blood dragon riders.
âmade it on time, i see.â
yang.
your eye twitched in annoyance, or exhaustion; you werenât sure. you ignored his remark, gaze turning towards the unfamiliar faces.
the womanâshe had short pink hair that stopped right above her shoulders. with her outfit, you could see a deep scar that ran down her forearm in a straight line. on the same arm, right at the bicep, was a mark. a tattoo, of sorts, that signified a riderâs bond with their dragon. the sigil was made with intricate lines, its vines wrapping around a blade that hung upside-down in the center.
the boy from earlierâhe carried a weight that seemed centuries old. he looked to be around your age, maybe a little bit older, but still in his early twenties. he had taken off his overcoat, the black shirt he was wearing hugging his figure a little too well. his arms were toned and muscular, a result of the constant training and battles he had probably endured. there were no markings on his arms, aside from a few small scars that cascaded down to his wrists. there was a small symbol on his shirt, on the right side of his chest. a faint, gold emblem of a dragon facing the sky with two rings around it. you werenât sure what it signified. a mark of importance, surely.
then, there was the male right beside himâthere was something cold about him. his pale skin, sharp eyes, his hair messily splayed across his forehead. he was a kind of beautiful that was dangerous, the kind where if you got too close, youâd be burned (ironically). you noticed the little moles that decorated his face, almost invisible from where you stood. there was a scar on his cheek and one that ran down the side of his neck, disappearing underneath his black t-shirt. he was slightly bigger than the previous, the muscles in his arms bulging against the sleeves. his shoulders were broad and he was tall.
'Gods, forgive me.'
his bicep was covered with what looked to be branches, sharp and bare, wrapping fully around the limb like barbed wire. you knew he was strong. he didnât need to prove himself for everyone to know what he was capable of.
right beside him stood another man you hadnât met yetâthis one had a quieter aura. not soft, just quiet, like a snake waiting for its prey. his arms were crossed over his chest. his top missed their sleeves, showing off his shoulders. he was turned towards the pinkette, conversing with her about something. it seemed serious. your eyes trailed to his back. it was slightly visible due to the missing parts of his top. you could make out a few dark, tattooed lines on his back. however, you couldnât quite figure out what it was. his hair was brushed out of his face, parted neatly down the middle to expose his forehead. what surprised you was there were no marks on him. his skin was clear of damage, not a single abnormality to be seen. that intrigued you. he seemed older than you, too, so it would only make sense for him to have some sort of battle scars.
finally, your eyes landed on yang. the blonde boy that had your blood pressure rising by just existing. though, you couldnât do anything about it. he was your squad leader. you had to obey him.
like a dog.
his hair was messy, too, but it still fell perfectly in front of his eyes. it pissed you off beyond imagination. he was wearing the same outfit as the rest of themâwide, black cargo pants and a simple black shirt, except his also had a symbol on it. it was the same as the other, but his had one ring instead of two. it made sense, then. it was an insignia of leadership.
you assumed the other boy was his second in command. his skin was empty of scars, too. maybe they were hidden, not visible to just anyone. as he turned around, your eyes caught the etching behind his neck. it barely peaked over his shirt, but you saw it. right below the tips of his golden hair were thick, intricate lines that most likely ran down the expanse of his backside. his shoulders were wide. it made you wonder how big his sigil was, too.
maybe it was as big as his ego.
he stepped forward, arms folding over his chest.
they really enjoyed doing that here.
âwelcome to your first day of training. today, you will learn how to fightâhand to hand combat. proper physical ability is crucial. strength, stamina, speed, all of it. bonding with a dragon gives you abilities others could not even dream to touch, but it does not guarantee your life. battling with your hands is just as important,â he nodded his head at the four people behind him. they stepped up to the front in perfect sync. it was practiced, controlled, like they were military folk.
âthe five of us will be watching over you all as you spar. you will go in pairs. if you donât have a partner, you can choose someone who has previously wentâor one of us.â the cadets swallowed nervously at that.
âsecond in command, lee heeseung,â the boy from this morning. he gave nothing but a slight nod of his head. âif i am ever absent and you need assistance, he will be who you go to.â
âpark sunghoon, park jongseong, and nyra solmereâsecond and third year dragon riders. if you require extra training, you may rely on them as well,â
âdonât forget yourself, pretty boy.â the pinkette, now known as nyra, spoke. it earned a snicker from heeseung, both of their faces twisting with mischief.
âyang jungwon, everybody. your squad leader and a second year dragon rider. pretty impressive if you ask me. isnât that right?â her tone was light, like she was teasing.
the blonde rolled his eyes, an annoyed huff leaving his lips. âback to more important matters,â he emphasized the word âimportantâ with a pointed glare, earning a shrug from nyra.
âdo you think theyâre dating?â hana whispered, eyes flickering between the two of them. âdoubt it. riders donât have time to date. plus, heâs a total dickhead. iâd feel sorry for anyone dating that.â
she looked at you in surprise, her lips morphing into a little smile, ânot a fan. got it.â
âpartner up. then, we will have each pair go one at a time.â the cadets began choosing their sparring partners. you and hana stuck beside each other, naturally. you both watched as the first two stepped up to the sparring mat. they stood facing each other, but had their attention turned towards jungwon to await instructions.
âthe rules are as followsâno magic, not that you have any. other than that, no rules.â his arms remained crossed, eyes narrowing slightly on the first years before him, âyou could kill each other, too, if you want.â
the room stilled. even here, where they would prepare you to take on the dangers of the outside world, you could die. there was no safety within the corners of these walls. you couldnât risk trusting anyone. at least, not fully.
not even hana.
your thoughts became littered with doubt. what if she was using you? pretending to be your friend so she could ultimately kill you in the end? thatâs what this was, right?
a survival of the fittest.
you couldnât let those ideas take over. you had protected her and she saved your life. that had to have meant something.
you watched as they began to spar. their movements were calculated, perhaps they had trained well before today. every punch that landed was met with a returning kick or block. they fought like their lives depended on it. you didnât know if one would try to kill the other or not, but they fought like that possibility could hold true at any moment. as if on cue, one of them reached into their boot, pulling out a short dagger. she lunged at her partner, plunging the blade into their stomach. you flinched, specks of their blood landing on your pants. she pulled the blade out, watching as they collapsed onto their knees. you could barely register the crimson that tainted your clothes before a loud sigh cut through the suffocating silence.
âalright, clean it up.â jungwonâs voice ordered, not even bothering to spare them another glance. sunghoon stepped forward, scooping up the cadet with both arms before carrying them out of the room. you didnât know if they were dead or alive. perhaps, youâll find out tomorrow. âso, who wants to go next?â
more began to step up. some were left with bruised knuckles, broken ribs and fingers, black eyes, and cuts so deep they would leave a mark once healed. this time around, nobody had died. you couldnât get your hopes up, though. there was still a chance it could be you. if hana was as sly as your brain had convinced you she wasâ
âyou,â you glanced in the direction of the five riders. all of their attention was on you as jungwon stepped onto the mat, eyes locked with yours.
âyouâre with me.â
suddenly, that chance was a lot higher than you thought.
you stared at him in shock, fingers twitching at your sides. âi already chose a partner.â
jungwon glanced between you and hana, his shoulders lifting with a shrug.
âshe can partner up with someone else. plus, thereâs eleven of you. one of you would have to spar with one of us anyway. why not make it interesting. right, cadet?â that look on his face. it was the same one he wore when you had prepared to climb the steps of the parapet. again, he was challenging you, as if you needed to prove yourself to him.
it felt unfair.
why you, of all people?
your jaw clenched, annoyance bubbling up inside of you before you walked onto the mat. this was it. you were going to die. you were sure of it. from the very beginning, you could tell he hated you. the feeling was mutual, but you werenât sure how far his hatred spanned.
maybe he simply thought you were weak, unfit to become a rider.
someone to pick on.
maybe your existence offended him. he could kill you now for whatever reason and nobody would care, because death was normal in the dragon-riding quadrant, no matter the circumstances.
as if he could hear your thoughts, his smile fell. âdonât worry. i donât bite.â
if looks could kill, you would be dead already.
you fought the urge to scoff. before you could respond, he lunged at you. you ducked your head, a useless attempt at evading him. he grabbed your arm, twisting it behind your back before slamming you into the wall. you yelped in pain, feeling you shoulder twist in a way that was unnatural. âdoing nothing gets you killed, cadet.â
you could feel his warm breath against the side of your temple as he spoke, pulling you back and spinning you around to kick at your legs. your knees buckled, sending you straight into the ground. your shoulder made an agonizing âpopâ sound, making you cry out. the pain traveled through your entire body, every nerve set ablaze. he dug his knee into your back, his hand pushing hard against your shoulder.
he was on top of you now, leaning forward to whisper into your ear, âyouâre weak. itâs pathetic, really. you try too hard to control yourself. instead of doing something with that anger, you stand thereâhesitating. waiting. like itâll go away on its own,â
he forced his knee deeper into your spine, a pained moan escaping your lips, âyou donât deserve to be here. if you canât even hurt the person you swear you hate the most, what can you do? who can you kill?â jungwon watched as a stray tear fell from your eyes, trickling onto the mat below you.
âcrying wonât get you off this floor, cadet. are you going to fight back, or are you going to prove me right? prove to everyone watching right now that you donât have what it takes to be a rider?â he leaned in closer, his hair tickling your cheek.
âprove that youâre better off dead?â
your body was screaming at you to surrender. you shoulder was throbbing, the sharp pain made you dizzy. deep down, you knewâhe wasnât completely wrong. you had tried, tirelessly, not to let your emotions take over and turn you into a monster. you did everything in your power to avoid becoming what you despired.
becoming someone like him.
he who didnât hesitate. it didnât matter that he was your leader. not once did his thoughts waver before hurting you. he probably wouldnât think twice about killing you, either. it made you realize something.
it was how heâs survived.
jungwon, sunghoon, nyra, and especially heeseung and jongseong. they were third years. they were living, breathing proof that it was possible to make it that far alive, but that came with sacrifice.
their eyes were empty because they gave up something along the way.
their souls.
you knew deep down, they werenât bad people. they were ridersâfighting to survive. they didnât choose to do it; they had to. born into this world and forced to live a life they never chose.
and if living meant losing a piece of yourself, they would do it again.
you kicked your leg up, wrapping it around his thigh before flipping the both of you over. the searing pain from your shoulder made you hiss, instinctively reaching to cradle it in your hand.
the box.
you forced the feeling down, as far as it would go before closing it completely. you had to tune it out.
jungwon stared at you, the same smirk returning to his face, ânot much of a damsel in distress after all, are you?â
before you could think, you punched him. it was enough to make his head turn, cheek meeting the ground. almost instantly, he grabbed at your hips and pushed you off of him. you landed on your side, having rolled a few feet away from your original spot. he stood there, thumb wiping away at the blood on his mouth. his eyebrows quirked up, as if he was waiting for you to attack him again. you got up off the floor, biting the inside of your cheek to distract yourself from the pain of your (definitely) dislocated shoulder.
you charged at him, fist flying. jungwon dodged every hit, taking the opportunity to land a hard punch on your ribs. you folded over in pain, giving him an opening to pull you towards him. you gasped as your back met his chest, one arm tightly wrapped around your torso as the other leveled with your chin. the thin edge of his dagger pressed against your neck, hard enough to draw blood. you whined softly at the burning sensation, hands reaching up to grab at his arm. the last of your strength had left you, your knees fighting the urge to buckle again. if he wasnât holding you up with his arms, you would have collapsed by now.
âsee, better, but youâre still weak. your stamina needs improvement and so does your speed. your strength is there, but strength without strategy is useless. the next time we spar, i expect to never get you in this position again,â his voice was low. everything he was saying was meant for you and you alone. you hated how he was rightâhated how he probably went easy on you because he had always known you were incapable of winning against him, or anyone.
âthe next time we spar,â those words stuck with you. this wouldnât be the last time you go up against him.
Gods, you were fucked.
"stop hesitating, y/n," his arms dropped to his sides, sheathing the dagger back into its rightful place. the minute his hold loosened on you, you stumbled forward.
your shoulder.
the pain came rushing back in, your opposite hand reaching up to keep it in place. hana rushed to your side, holding you up carefully as to not hurt you any further.
ânyra, take her outside. and youââ he pointed at hana, âletâs go. your partner is waiting.â
hana looked at you, worry evident in her gaze. you waved her off, assuring her that youâll be okay. she swallowed dryly, pausing before giving you a nod. you watched as she headed onto the mat. you could only hope you would see her return to the barracks afterwards.
nyra stopped in front of you, her head tilting towards the door. âcâmon. off we go.â you followed after her, muscles relaxing in relief at the thought of her taking you to a healer. maybe jakeâ
âshirt, off.â
what?
you stared at her, dumbfounded. this was the second time someone had asked you to strip, and now you really didnât know why it was necessaryâ
âremember what he said, cadet. no hesitation? this is a direct order. hurry on, take it off.â her hands moved animatedly as she rushed you to undress. with a sigh, you took off your top, careful not to strain your shoulder too much. she took it from your hands, folding it up slightly before holding it at your mouth. âokay, now bite.â
you knew exactly where this was goingâand you fucking hated it. this was going to hurt.
bad.
you opened your mouth, teeth digging into the rolled up fabric. you wanted to ask her to prepare you, but your plea came out muffled. before you knew it, she had pushed you up against the wall. you felt her hand grab at your shoulder, rubbing it gently with her palm beforeâ
*POP!*
your scream was silenced by the shirt in your mouth, eyes tightly shut. the pain was agonizing. there were spots in your vision, and the urge to faint was strong. after a few minutes, it slowly began to subside. it left behind a dull ache, but you were able to somewhat mobilize your shoulder again. âthere. a little unprofessional, but the healers are busy right now. so you got me instead.â
you turned around, leaning against the wall as you ripped the shirt out of your mouth, âthanks, i guess.â the blood from your neck trailed down your sternum, seeping into the band of your bra. you stared at it in disgust, âcan i at least a new shirt? and something for.. this?â
nyra bit her lip, holding back what you assumed was a laugh. with a raise of her eyebrows, she motioned you to follow her. the two of you walked in silence. luckily, all the cadets were too busy training to be wandering the hallways this early in the morning. she stopped in front of a large door, her hand waving in front of the lock before hearing it click open. it revealed a large room, decorated with vines and flora that dangled from the ceiling. in the center was a large bed, one that looked much more comfortable than the mattresses you had been assigned to in your barrack.
nyra walked over to her drawer, pulling it open before digging for something. she tossed you a plain black shirt, similar to the one you had worn. âi havenât worn that thing since my first year. you can have it. itâll probably fit you better, anyway,â her finger drew a little circle around her chest.
your cheeks lit up, quickly mumbling a âthank youâ before carefully slipping the top on. âcome, sit. let me treat that nasty ass cut.â
you listened obediently, hands resting in your lap as she sat in between your legs. her fingers gently grabbed at your chin, lifting your head up to get better access to your neck.
you let out a scoff at that, âyeah, well, didnât seem like it. look what he did to me.â
âhe means well. plus, heâs right. you are weak,"
okay.
ouch.
at least, right now you are. i can tell youâre afraidâscared of whatâs to come and who you might turn into,â you hissed when she pressed a damp cotton round on your wound. she ignored your pained protest, continuing to dress the wound as she spoke, âyouâre here to become a rider. that comes with a price. you need to start thinking about whatâs really important. i know we canât decide that for you, but survival should always come first. friendsâpeople in generalâthey come and they go. now, iâm not saying donât build any relationships here, but loyalty is earned. it isnât a given. you can't trust so easily,â you sat quietly, digesting her words.
âyou know about the bonding process, right?â
you gently shook your head.
âonce a dragon chooses to bond with you, your lives becomes one. if your dragon dies, so do you. if you die well, they survive, but theyâll be grieving for a very long time. some end up as recluses and refuse to bond ever again. others can turn vengeful. it gets uglyâbeing a rider. a bond doesnât just mean youâre gifted with powers. itâs a soul tie. a real, serious connection. your bonded becomes your everything. you feel each otherâs emotions, each otherâs pain, all that shit. do you see now why you canât afford to be weak? why you have to put yourself above all else? there's no room for error out there. you either live or you die. no second chances, no blessings from fate or Morvak to protect you,â she pauses, her fingers smoothly taping the thin bandage to your neck.
nyra stands, tossing the remaining trash into a bin. she peers down at you, offering a gentle smile, âi know you have it in you to make it to bonding. jungwon doesnât though, so if you wanna get on his good side youâll have to prove yourself. he takes the âsquad leaderâ role very seriously, if you couldnât tell."
you roll your eyes at that.
âitâs quite clear.â
âiâm sure youâve heard it already, but you were put in this section for a reason. âthe most dangerous and unpredictableâ or whatever formal bullshit jungwon was spewing yesterday. that title also means we can be one of the most powerful, and he refuses to let anyone dampen that. itâs a little power hungry, but once you see what itâs like, being one of us, itâll start to make sense.â
you stood up, too, smoothing out your shirt, âthank you, nyra.â
âdonât mention it. seriously. heâll kill me if he knew i was kissing up to you,â you both chuckle at that.
âbut, just know, if you need anything you can come to me. i wonât try to kill youâironic after that whole speech i just gave youâbut i promise. consider me an ally,â she held out her pinky finger, wiggling it at you. you stared at it for a second before holding up your own, interlocking it with hers. nyra smiles at the gesture before pulling her hand away.
âcome, theyâve probably finished by now. iâm fucking starving,â you followed her out of her room, the two of you heading towards the dining hall. you were grateful for her kindness. you could tell, from her words alone, that she had experienced suffering before.
enough times to make her accept the sheer weight of the world that was in front of her, but you didnât want to pry.
one day, you think, youâll ask.
for now, you could only hope she was telling the truth when she said jungwon didnât want you dead.
the dining hall was filled with people. some chattered amongst themselves while others ate quietly, shying away from everybody else. you grabbed a tray, turning to speak with nyra but she had already ran off. you watched her skip over to her friends, sliding into the spot between who you remembered to be jongseong and heeseung. you sighed, making your way towards an empty table. you sat in silence, picking at your food with your fork. you hadnât eaten a meal in over a day, yet you had no appetite.
everything you had dealt with in the past twenty four hours had finally sank into place in your brain. in such a short time, you had seen, and come close to, so much death. you donât know when you would become numb to the feeling, and a part of you hoped you never would. the feeling in your chestâit was another reminder that you were still alive. you pulled apart the roll of bread, popping a piece into your mouth. your thoughts were running wild with no way to silence them.
then, you heard a tray drop in front of you. glancing up, your eyes nearly popped out of their sockets. âoh my god, hana,â
she offered you a strained smile, wincing at the stretch of her lips. her cheek was a deep shade of purple and blue, swollen beyond comprehension, the wound on her forehead barely taped shut, and the cut on her lip had dried over with blood. âyeah, he got me pretty good..â
hana sat down across from you, arms folded over and resting on the table, âiâm happy to see youâre okay, though. sorry i couldnât stay with you.. that jungwon guy. he seriously freaks me out. i really thought he was going to kill you, yâknow?â you sighed.
youâve been doing that a lot lately.
âyeah, i did too.â
âhow are you feeling?â
you instinctively rolled your shoulder, âbetter. my ribs are definitely gonna be more bruised tomorrow and my shoulder fully came out of its socket, and i had a knife held to my neck, but iâm better. yeah.â
your eyes flicked over to nyraâs table. the blonde was sat across from her, wordlessly eating his food as his friends conversed with each other. you watched him, like you were trying to pick him apart piece by piece. why did he single you out like that? why does he hate you so much? you barely knew the guy, and yet, he has already become your sworn enemy.
the advice he gave you. it was supposed to help you, but it also hurt.
his words.
the fear that took over your body when he had that blade at your throat. at this point, you didnât care about the âwhyâ. he was a force to be reckoned with.
a monster.
nyraâs words were forgotten, and that same fiery hot hatred started to consume you once more.
you were sure of it, now.
you hated yang jungwon.
after your meal, you decided to head back to the training room. you had told hana you wanted to be alone for a bitâget in some extra practice. reluctantly, she agreed. you entered the room, gently shutting the door behind you. in reality, you didnât know how you could possibly train with a messed up shoulder and limited movement of your mid section.
you just craved space, to turn off your mind and let the silence in. you had not a moment of peace since you arrived at the school, not that you ever anticipated it. it was a war college, after all.
the scent of sweat and blood lingered in the air. you stared at the matâthe one where jungwon had pinned you. the memory makes your muscles ache, the image of being held down replaying in your mind like a broken record. you thought about how you felt in that moment: helpless. if it had been someone else, if you had been in such a place out there in the real world, you donât think you would have lived to see another day.
you kneeled on the floor, fingertips grazing the rubber-like surface. you had never trained to become a rider.
at least, not really.
your father was one and you resented him for it. his presence had been absent, the side of his bed was always cold. your mother had dealt with the worst of it allâher own husband, constantly on the brink of death while she sat alone at home with two kids, wondering if she would ever get to see him again.
what had hurt the most was not being able to say goodbye.
one day, the letters stopped coming. you had hoped, maybe, they had simply been lost in transit. maybe they forgot to pick it up, or accidentally mailed it to the house next door. when you had asked, you were met with pity.
no letter.
the last time you had seen him was two years before he disappeared, having been called north for an important flight mission. months had passed and eventually, you accepted that he may have died.
that was six years ago.
you were now twenty years old now. the grief had turned into anger. part of it was at him for becoming a rider, the other was at how you would never truly know. now, you were working your way towards becoming one yourself. the irony of it all made you cringe.
you felt it, though.
that feeling again.
hopeâthe last bits of it that sat heavily in between your rib cage.
if you succeed in becoming a rider, you could find out what happened. you could finally understand the reason for his disappearance and bring peace to your family. that hope was now dimming, the weight of everything making its way through the cracks.
a sudden noise pulled you back into reality. your head spun around, locking eyes with the person that just walked in. you felt a coldness spread within you.
it was her.
the girl from the stairs.
you quickly stood up, trying your hardest not to wince at the pain flaring up in your body. you couldn't show her you were hurt. she shut to door behind her, fingers moving to turn the lock. âso, you made it after all,â your throat ran dry, heart pounding violently in your chest. she took a step towards you, a wicked grin on her face.
âshouldâve taken my advice, though,â her voice raised in pitch, the tone of it mocking. âthrowing yourself off that bridge may have be more merciful than this.â
note: and SHEâS DONE!! i wanted an all hurt no comfort fic but honestly i craved a happy ending for them too sođ€ TYSM FOR THE LOVE ON THE FIRST PART i hope you guys enjoy this one too <3
this fic was inspired by this song !
it was strange.
feelingsâhow they come and go.
people, too.
one day, you wake up and suddenly everything feels different. whether it was good or bad was up to interpretation, really.
it had been two weeks.
two weeks since you had your heart ripped out of your chest.
you couldnât even be upset, because it was your fault. you had pushed away the one person you never thought would leave your side. the person you had trusted with your life, your heart. he didnât know that, though.
or maybe he did.
two weeks.
fourteen days since jungwon had last seen you at that cafe. the one you had both frequented every other day after class. except, he had went with somebody else. he hadnât meant to hurt you. he didnât think you still cared.
you had distanced yourself from him without any real explanation. it had hurt.
a lot.
at first, he thought it was because you had been his friend for so long. you were special, he knew that for sure, and he always had this spot for you in his heart as his best friend.
he held you when you cried, whispered sweet nothings into your ears as you fell asleep in his arms after hours of sobbing into his chest, bought you your favorite snacks without even thinking about it because he knew how much you craved them after a hard day. you always did the same.
he was your person, and you were his.
at least, he thought so.
when you first started pulling away, he didnât question it much. you had your own life and he had his. then, it became an ongoing pattern.
the toothbrush he left in your bathroom turned dry and rough from lack of use. the sweater he had left on your chair started to smell more like your air freshener than his own cologne. he saw you less in the hallway of your own dorm. he no longer ordered a second drink when he would visit the cafe after class. the one he had memorized since freshman year and would always bring to you when he would visit.
even the barista noticed.
âcan i just get an americano, please?â jungwon reached into his bag to pull out his wallet, fishing for cash.
âand the strawberry milk tea, right?â she smiled at him knowingly, her fingers instinctually clicking at the screen in front of her to add the sugary drink he had always remembered to get for you.
it was cute.
his hands froze, mouth suddenly feeling dry. he looked up at her with a strained smile.
âno, thank you, just the americano.â
her eyebrows jumped in surprise. âohâiâm sorry,â she returned an understanding smile before removing the drink from his order. âtrouble in paradise?â
jungwon handed her the money, a short sigh escaping his lips.
âyeah, something like that.â
the distance left a hollow feeling in his chest. what he was hung up on was why. he could barely sleep, thinking back on the past few weeks to try and pick at the piecesâto understand what had gone wrong with your friendship.
jungwon missed you.
he missed your laugh, the way you always hit him a little too hard when you found something funny (though, he never really complained), your scent, the warm feeling that bloomed in his chest every time you two hung out, the way you always played his favorite music every time you shared headphonesâall of it.
he just missed you.
he had decided to go on a date to get his mind off of things. a crazy idea in hindsight, but his friends had eagerly came to him with the proposal, claiming it would âmake his life more interestingâ.
jungwon never really cared about dating. it was never something at the forefront of his mind, or, he just never found anyone all that interesting. he never felt the need to look for something more. after all, he had his friends.
and you.
out of pure boredom and curiosity, he agreed to it. no harm in testing the waters, right?
wrong.
he had never meant to be seen by you of all people.
when you locked eyes with him, his heart stopped. his shoulders tensed and suddenly, he really needed water.
whether to drink or splash on his faceâeither could work.
he could see the sadness in your eyes from where he satâcould feel it seeping out of you. his heart told him to get out of his seat and walk to you, but his mind.
his mind told him to stay.
you had left him.
why did he have to be the one to chase after you?
why did he have to fix what was broken when he wasnât the one to break it?
so he stayed.
he turned his attention back to the girl in front of him, giving her a soft smile.
even if he had to pretend.
even if he was hurting you.
you had hurt him first.
and this time, he chose to put himself first.
âwhy donât you just talk to him, y/n? youâre torturing yourselfâand him too,â mira, one of your best friends, gently stroked your hair as you sniffled into her shoulder.
âhe probably hates me. he has a girlfriend now. it would be wrong of me to just⊠tell him everything after he finally decided to settle down with someone. i canât do that to himâ
âwhat girlfriend?â heeseung, miraâs boyfriend, asked as he hopped onto the couch beside you. he had been on snack duty all night, his sweet attempt at comforting you.
you wiped at your nose, sitting up properly between the couple. âi saw him, a few days ago. he was with a girl. they held hands and shit. couple-y stuff. they were on a date. he saw me butââ your voice cracked, lip trembling as your brain replayed that day.
âhe just.. looked away. like i didnât exist.â your eyes began to water again.
âgod, this is so pathetic! iâm the one that pushed him away but iâm hurting more than he is. do you know how fucking ridiculous that is?â you wanted to laugh. it was cruel how the world worked.
heeseung and mira shared a knowing look before their attention fell back onto you.
âyou were scared. love is different, yâknow? it isnât something that comes easily, and you felt it for the first time. being afraid is okay. plus, youâve dealt with so much shitâi would be more surprised if you didnât run away the minute you started to catch feelings for him.â heeseung spoke, reaching for another bag of gummies and tearing it open, tilting it towards you.
âbut⊠i wonât lie to you. what you did was fucked up.â
âheeseung!â
âwhat?! am i wrong? listen, i get it. like i said, you were scared and thatâs okay. but you hurt him too, yeah? you might think youâre the only one affected by this, but think about it. he was your best friend. you were his. jungwon isnât stupid and he isnât heartless either. he loved you, even if you werenât sure if it was romantic or not. he loved you and you ran. if i were him, iâd be devastated,â he ended his short speech with a shrug.
you chewed on your lip, staring blankly at the bag of gummies in front of you.
you hated that he was right.
you knew he was right.
what you had done was selfish, and now you were facing the consequences.
âand about that girl, i donât think theyâre even dating. jay set him up with her âcause he thought theyâd be good together, but i think jungwon told him it didnât work out. wasnât his type or some shit. plus, sheâs ni-kiâs ex. really weird combination in my opinion. strange. seriously.â
mira let out a snicker at his words, âagreed..â
you sat there, quietly digesting the words heeseung just threw at you.
they werenât dating.
she was ni-kiâs ex.
jay tried to set her up with jungwon.
yeah, definitely strange.
point of the matter is thereâs still a chance.
a chance to fix things before they shattered completely.
âwhat if he doesnât want to talk to me?â your voice was barely above a whisper then, the nerves settling into your bones.
heeseung scoffed, âdonât kid yourself. y/n, seriously. this is jungwon weâre talking about. your jungwon. heâll talk to you. maybe heâs just waiting for you to talk to him first.â
you stared at the contact photo on your phone.
it was a picture of you and jungwon.
you were looking at the camera, but he was looking at you. your smiles were big and genuine, eyes nearly closed from how hard you were grinning. it was one of your favorite pictures. granted, he was supposed to be looking at the camera, but you had taken the photo a little too early from excitement.
your finger hovered over the message button.
you hadnât opened your chat with him in weeks. the last message he had sent you was left unanswered.
wonie [1:48am]
are we okay? :(
you hadnât built up the courage to respond.
you dropped your phone onto your bed with a resigned sigh, hands rubbing at your face like you could wipe away your shame.
you stared at your ceiling for what felt like hours. you glanced over at the clock on your nightstand.
11:31pm.
it was late, but you couldnât sleep. not after that conversation with heeseung and mira.
a few minutes passed, and you groaned before grabbing at your phone again. you clicked open his contact, brain working up ideas of what you could possibly say.
y/nie [11:43pm]
can we talk?|
can w|
hey jungw|
he|
hey|
h|
hiii|
you rolled over into your pillow, screaming in frustration. why was it so damn hard to text him all of a sudden? it was jungwon. your jungwon. you can talk to jungwon.
except, you had been the worst possible friend ever and then cried about it like you werenât the one at fault. you sat up on your bed, crossing your legs as you stared at the phone in your lap like it offended you.
then, you heard a ding.
you nearly threw your phone across the room. your hands gripped your phone so tight it could probably snap it in half from sheer force.
wonie [12:01am]
hey.. i saw you typing.
y/n?
i think we should talk
your heart stopped.
had he been waiting?
staring at his unanswered text hoping that you would message him back?
that thought suddenly gave you a surge of confidence. with fast fingers, you began to type out a response.
y/nie [12:03am]
yeah
we should
come over?
you slapped your hand over your face.
ââcome overâ? are we serious?â you groaned, falling onto your back in pure embarrassment. he texted back almost immediately, letting you know heâd be over in ten minutes.
you shot up from your bed, scrambling for a hoodie that wasnât the one you were currently wearing.
his.
you scrambled through your closet, digging up whatever jacket you could possibly find. was it a little insane to worry about your outfit when the love of your life was about to come over and have the most serious talk of your entire relationship?
nah.
a knock was heard as you pulled the hood over your head, covering up the mess that was your unbrushed hair. you suddenly felt nervous. the anxiety was creeping back in, hands slightly shaky as you headed to the front door.
you took a deep breath before yanking it open.
there he stood, in a black t-shirt and a pair of old sweatpants. his hair was damp and messy, like he had just gotten out of the shower and didnât even bother to dry it first.
yet, you thought he had never looked more handsome.
âhey, stranger.â
the words stung a bit more than you thought. you offered a small smile before stepping aside, letting him enter.
the door clicked shut and as if on cue, an awkward silence filled the room.
neither of you knew what to say. you stared at him. the way he swallowed nervously, occasionally drifting his attention to something other than your gaze.
âso⊠how have yââ
âiâm sorry.â
you cut him off before he could finish his sentence. his head turned towards you, his lips parting in shock.
âiâm sorry for pushing you away. i never wanted to be away from you. i was a coward. i justâi didnât know how to deal with it. my emotions. my feelings. i got scared. i didnât want to ruin our friendship or make things weird between us so iââ you paused, trying to find the right words.
âi ran. i ran away before it could get too serious. too real. i didnât want to mess things up. youâre so important to me, jungwon, and i didnât want you to be disappointed when you realized how⊠unworthy i am of you, of your friendship. your love. you do everything for me andâgod, i couldnât even do the bare minimum of just talking to you. i realized how fucking screwed up that is and you probably hate meââ
ây/n.â
âhonestly, if you do that's totally okay. iâd hate me too if i just up and left like that without any reasonable explanation. and i know you deserved that much âcause youâre my best friend, but at some point i stopped seeing you as that andââ
ây/n.â
âi donât know when the hell that happenedâ well, i do but i just ignored it because i thought that was how i was supposed to feel about you since we were close and all. but then i started to miss you and, i mean shit, when i saw you with that girlââ
his hands reached out for you, grabbing at your arms to stop you from rambling. you froze, his eyes boring into yours as you began to register just how close he was to you. he scanned your face, briefly glancing at your lips before returning to your eyes.
âfirst of all, slow down. second, what feelings are you talking about?â
you felt like the wind had gotten knocked out of you.
your lips opened like they wanted to say something before closing again. you looked like a fish out of water. a deer in the headlights. your brain completely short circuited.
âi want to hear you say it.â
fuck.
âiâ i donâtââ you inhaled deeply, trying to gather your thoughts.
âi love you.â
he raised an eyebrow at that, âwell, i know that, and i love you too butââ
âno, jungwon. i love you, not as my friend. i love you, like serious, romantic love. i love you. yeah thatâthat sounds right,â your ears were on fire.
this was humiliating.
you wanted the ground to open up and swallow you whole.
you see him freeze up. the gears were turning. he was thinking.
processing.
trying to make sense of the words that had just come out of your mouth.
before you could speak again, your cheek suddenly collided with his chest, pulling a surprised gasp from you. your eyes widened, taking note of the loud thrumming of his heart within his chest.
âyouâre an idiot,â he murmured, his own cheek resting against the side of your head.
you blinked.
did he justâ
âyou ran away from me because you love me?â he pulled back, hands resting on the small of your back as he looked down at you. except, he wasnât angry.
his expressionâit was filled with relief.
âseriously, y/n, i know you have bad luck with boys and all butâow!â he winced, hand landing on the spot on his forehead you had flicked. ânot funny.â
"a little funny."
"no, no not really."
"c'mon! that was goodâ"
"jungwon."
he sighed, âas i was saying⊠you couldâve just told me,â his tone was gentle. as if everything you had done to him didnât matter anymore now that the truth was out.
he was too forgiving.
you didn't know if you deserved it.
âi was scared. i didnât know if you felt the same or not and i didnât want to mess up our friendship. youâre everything to me, jungwon. i couldn't lose that. i couldn't lose you.â
"so, you ran."
"okay i didn't really think of the logistics and all, butâ"
âyou think i have your favorite drink memorized and leave my spare toothbrush in your bathroom because i think of you as my friend?â
you look away, a bright shade pink dusting your cheeks. you could hear the smile in his voice without even having to look, âi love you, y/n. like serious, romantic love, or whatever you called it.â
your head snapped back in his direction, âseriously?â
jungwon laughedâand that sound? you wanted to hear it forever.
âsuper serious. and maybe i wouldâve gotten the chance to say that if you hadnât avoided me for an entire month,â he had a cheeky smile on his face, teasing you. you groaned, embarrassed, burying your face into his chest. âi get it, iâm an idiot.â
âmy idiot, though.â
âdoesnât make it any better.â
he forced you to look up at him, the same smile still evident on his face, âcan i kiss you?â
if this was a dream, you seriously didnât want to wake up.
you didnât answer. instead, you gently tugged at his shirt, pulling him towards you. the kiss was soft, hesitant, but filled with so much love.
his lips were just as soft as you imagined, paired with the faint taste of his strawberry lip balm that you always saw him put on.
it was addicting.
you pulled away, eyes never leaving his own. his grip tightened around your hips, almost like he was afraid you would disappear the second he let go.
âyou have always been enough for me. even if youâre falling apart and you feel like you canât put yourself back together, i will be there. always. as long as itâs where you are.â
that was all you needed to hear.
you knew, then, that this was right where you needed to be.
you had always run away from love.
this time, youâd hold onto it.
you would let it in, let it bury itself so deep until it filled up every little empty space.