I’ve been back at work for almost 4 weeks and I’m so tired that I think I might die. I don’t think death by tired is really a thing but it legit feels like it might be.
Baby will not sleep unless swaddled with a dummy. Lay baby down with her pre requisite sleeping attire, fast asleep to wide awake in 26 seconds.
That’s how long it takes to unravel the very tight swaddle, let the grabby wee hands travel north to the mouth and launch the dummy across the room. This results in crying because of the upset of not being asleep because she’s not swaddled and doesn’t have a dummy. What ye playing at shite maw?
Tonight she’s been playing this game for 1 hour and 4 minutes and counting. My most favourite time was when I was in the shower with shampoo in my hair #funtimes
She has been reswaddled 9 times. The dummy has been shoved back in her gub more times than that.
My blood pressure is sky high cause I can’t deal with this shit.
I knew having a baby would mean sleep deprivation. Once she’s asleep there’s no problem! Getting there is the issue. As always I’ve been offered advice on the subject and, as always, I know my baby best and I need you to stop talking because of the aforementioned sleep deprivation.
1. “Maybe it’s too quiet for her to sleep, have you tried some noise? I hear if you play womb sounds…..”
Thanks, I’ve never read any information on the subject of getting a baby to sleep. Because I don’t find it challenging. Please continue with your stellar advice.
2. “Do you not think it’s a bit noisy in here for A baby to sleep?”
Shucks, when I spent an hour outside with a baby fighting sleep in the silence, that was dead successful.
3. “Do you want me to take her for a bit?”
🤦🏻♀️ do I want to watch you fumble for 20 minutes while screaming intensifies trying to get her in a position that worked for some baby you knew 36 years ago? I’ll pass.
4. *rocking and shushing sleep fighting baby - eyes are almost closed*
“Oh hi, are you trying to get the baby to sleep?”
No, just like swinging my arms about with a hefty kid in them. Top workout. And thanks for bringing them back from the cusp of slumber! Really appreciate that 🖕🏼
5. “Routine is really important. Maybe she just needs a stricter schedule?”
Maybe you just need to take your face for a shite 💩
https://youtu.be/U08XWOx3XYM http://m.huffpost.com/uk/entry/5607122