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Why the BBC and Bing! Can get to fuck.

I have issues with paying my TV licence fees. Other than the ridiculously high wages and bonuses they dole out and the network of prolific paedophiles they covered for, there’s something worse they’ve done. I only say worse, because their current actions impact directly on me.

They stream Bing! via CBeebies into homes across the nation, encouraging our children to become illiterate, whingey, little cunts. Just like Bing.

Is something doesn’t go this bunny’s way, he throws a strop, sometimes even falls to the floor, shouts, whines and complains. He’s cheeky, impolite and generally just a cock.

“Where can we put all this angry?” - well how about you shove it up your arse?

“I’m ‘cited.” - really? Have you been referenced in a scientific journal?

“Going on a venture”

“I choosed”, “I finded”. Did ye, aye?

“It’s a Bing! thing!”. Is it though?

Toddlers are at the peak of their learning career. Yet the BBC, who we are forced to pay for, and who - for some reason, are trusted by many - are manipulating our already volatile toddlers and making them act like even bigger twats.

Bing! can suck a dick.

My boy and his toots

At our 20 week scan our boy was identified as having ‘bilateral talipes’ - meaning both feet were turned in and facing back excessively. This can be an indicator of a severe genetic condition. We agreed that Downs wasn’t an issue for us but Dr started to broach the subject of ‘partial termination’ if Edward’s or Patau’s syndrome was detected - both usually fatal. This would mean we would be going home from the hospital with one baby - not two.

We made the very difficult decision to undergo amniocentesis. With a single pregnancy there is a 1 in 100 chance of miscarriage. The statistics in twin pregnancies are unknown but considered to be higher risk and the amniocentesis was carried out for each baby - making the risks even higher. But our daughter thought she was getting 2 babies home, if she was only getting 1 we had to prepare her for that.

Thankfully after 3 days the karyotype test revealed no chromosomal abnormalities and after a further 4 days no gene mutations.

The treatment for the type of talipes he has is weekly casting and manipulation of the foot. When the foot is in a normal position he gets ‘boots and bar’ to keep the position and wears these 23 hours a day for 12 weeks then 12 hours a day until 4 years old.

The transformation after the casting stage has been amazing. We’ve had a setback but grateful to have gotten so far this quickly.

He’s 1 in 1000 but so much more than his numbers.

The shit no one tells you about pregnancy

Unless you are me, in which case, prepare to be horrified.

My friends are ‘no holds barred’ sort of people, so not all of these are my trials and tribulations but their anonymity will be upheld. These are not just tips for ‘we the pregnant’, but warnings for all who encounter us.

There comes a point that no matter how strong your pelvic floor - you will piss yourself. Be it a sneeze, cough or a slight shift in your position, be prepared for piss. This happens while pregnant and often continues after your vagina is destroyed upon your bundle of joys exit. Heed this warning, if a kid slips on your piss puddle on a bouncy castle and dies you’ll maybe feel quite guilty. Keep a mop handy to clear the evidence before the police arrive.

Piles, haemorrhoids, bum grapes - whatever you want to call them.... The downwards force of offspring in your abdomen is often enough to force them out. If not then childbirth will. Such a glamorous time.

In the third trimester there is swelling of your lady garden, and not only because you can’t physically see if you need a wax. The actual tissue swells. Be careful of trouser choices because it’s very likely that your new bulbous bits could be mistaken for a cock. Then people will ask questions. Like, “did you self-fertilise?”.

Pregnant ladies are always right. If you are holding a block of cheese, and you ask a pregnant person what it is and they answer “a chihuahua”, you should accept that your cheese is now a rat dog and put a lead on it. She may later change her mind, but until she does you should be the best dog parent you can to that cheddar.

As a hormonal very pregnant person myself I find my mood can swing very quickly from ‘I am an ethereal life giving goddess, all should bow down to my greatness’ to ‘Get these fucking blood sucking parasites out of me before I die of discomfort’. This is very common to all human incubators. Approach with caution.

If you are partly responsible for the pregnancy be fully aware that at times you will be designated solely responsible. Very quickly conversation can switch from “can you believe our love has created new life?!” To “You fucking did this to me, you prick!”. You will be public enemy number 1. Everything is your fault. Don’t argue about it. If you want to live to see your offspring born do not even think about disagreeing.

Twins FAQs and FGAs (frequently given answers)

Q Did you know you were having twins?

A Yes, I FELT it. Call it intuition or whatever but I just knew.

Q Are there twins in your family?

A No. And where twins do run in families it’s in the females side. My Husband has 2 x 2 cousin twins, but that did not bring all my eggs to the yard.

Q Do you know what you’re having?

A Yes. Two babies and a caesarian.

Q Don’t be stupid, like the sex?

A No, I’d probably end up more pregnant than I already am.

Q No, but seriously, do you know the sex of the babies?

A Yes. One girl and one boy.

Q Are they identical?

A No. Dumbass. Identical twins are identical. Genetically.... that means that if there is one of each sex then they cannot be identical.

The worst question asked thus far 🤦🏻‍♀️

Q Are they IVF?

A First of all IVF is a process that can result in pregnancy. If IVF is successful then the pregnancy is just that - a pregnancy. So perhaps a better question would be ‘Are they babies?’. Obviously they are babies but why the fuck would you ask such a question in the first place?

Anticipated post arrival FAQs and FGAs

Q Are they twins?

A No one simply wasn’t challenging enough so I took an extra one when I was leaving the hospital.

Q Are they identical?

A How can a male and a female be identical? What is wrong with you?

Q You must have your hands full?

A No. Fucking. Shit.

Morning sickness

There’s a laugh. Clearly named by a man.

I guess ‘Every waking moment’ sickness just wasn’t catchy enough....

The list of things I’ve thrown up recently exceeds the number of items on the list of what I’ve actually eaten - work that one out.

‘It will all be over by the end of the first trimester’, the biggest lie I’ve ever been told.

‘It’s a good sign’, for who exactly?

Have you tried <endless list of things that worked for other people>? Yes I have. I threw it up. Along with my dignity at the side of the road.

‘It will all be worth it in the end.’ Sure. Yeah. Substitute all day, everyday nausea for 6 months of literally not sleeping. Worth it!

All this is the fault of men. Also, incase you weren’t aware, arguing with a pregnant woman can be fatal.

In the Night Garden

20 thoughts I had watching In the Night Garden

1. That’s a pretty intense close up of that kid

2. Their hands freaking huge

3. See if your kid was gonna make their tv debut with an intense hand close up, would you not clean their fingernails?

4. If that blue creature is sailing to the night garden how is he going to get there with the sail down?

5. The stars are blooming into flowers, thats actually quite pretty

6. What the fuck is a ninky nonk?

7. That blue thing is Igglepiggle

8. Those Pontipines are right go-ers. 8 kids - fuck that!

9. Upsy Daisy has a skirt that inflates and hair that looks and moves like fingers, is this a kids tv show or a horror movie?

10. Why is she singing? Can I call it singing? She’s shouting into that megaphone like a freshly divorced, middle aged Glesga wumman after too much rose wine in Shanghai Shuffle belting out ‘I will survive’.

11. Igglepiggle let her hold his arm, what a gent.

12. Right they’re all going in the Ninky Nonk but now there’s a Pinky Ponk too?

13. I don’t understand the scale. They’re bigger than the Ninky Nonk but then they’re INSIDE the Ninky Nonk. I’m so confused right now.

14. That thing is out of control. Fuck going in that.

15. Have I been drugged? This is a really fucking bad acid trip!

16. Makka Pakka is polishing his rock collection, what a dweeb.

17. He bent over to pick up his dropped soap (insert prison joke here) and he simultaneously looks adorable and like foreskin.

18. Washing the tombliboos faces. With the same sponge as he used on the rocks. This is encouraging poor hygiene. He defo never stopped anywhere to rinse that sponge. I think I might be sick.

19. The Tittifers have sung their song, it’s time to go to sleep. Except it’s said ‘titty furs’ and I’m picturing furry tits and experiencing some mild bladder incontinence.

20. There’s a cartoon of what I’ve been watching for 20 minutes summing up the last 20 minutes in 30 seconds. This show could’ve been a lot shorter

I need a drink.

One year old...

We have successfully managed to keep a tiny human alive now for more than 365 days. This might not seem like a big achievement to most but considering this time last year I was struggling to keep myself alive 🤷🏻‍♀️ I’m taking it as an epic win.

Some kids have a poor start in life, ours didn’t. Some parents have a shit start to parenthood, that’s us 🙋🏻‍♀️without my husband being a pure good human being and our immediate families (including some epic friends in there) I literally wouldn’t be here now. Sitting on my toilet, with a mud pack on my hair and a bar of dairy milk. So, yeah, thanks for that. You’ve helped me stay a wife, a mother, a sister, a daughter. An avid enjoyer of chocolate. You’ve kept me alive.

When I completely lost hope they held it for me. Since then my circle has gotten smaller. I’m completely selfish, and I have to be. I need to take care of myself to be able to take care of my family.

It’s 13 months and 3 days since I became a Mum. It’s been really fucking hard. I’ve been at rock bottom and back. I have a beautiful baby who is utterly wild and headstrong. She is the second best thing to ever happen to me, after chocolate.

#whatif...#etsi...#PND #OCD #mumlife #family

WTF shite day

I'm currently having my 4th packet of chocolate today. Not even remotely feeling fat about it cause today has been fucking shite. Nothing in particular has to happen to make a day like today go how it has. To most people, the events of today and the hangover from yesterday's wouldn't cause any issue at all. For me, it's been a clusterfuck. I have tonsillitis. I have a suspected ruptured vertebrae. I have OCD. I have PND. At least 10 times every day, I fucking hate myself. After months of near constant shite days, things have started to get better. Which makes the odd day like today seem worse. I was woken up by one of the cats biting my fingers. Would be sore, but all of my cuticles have been ripped off and my fingers forever bleed around my nails so this was not super fun. Especially when I've barely slept because my back is fucking dead. Wankcat. If I died they would totally eat my face off. My husband had just finished his 3rd nightshift this week and I woke up a miserable bastard so I obviously pissed him off instantly. There was no milk for my weetabix, my own fault, but how the fuck can you remember to buy milk when you're trying to keep a small person alive and keep your own head from entirely consuming you? The baby is fucking miserable. Pretty sure she's coming down with something, she's coughing and sleeping more than usual. I dealt with months of colic, hours of screaming. But it's the guttural whinging that's nails on a chalk board for me. It feels like she fucking hates me. I know she doesn't. But my self esteem is in the gutter and I can't comfort my own baby. It feels worse because whenever anyone else is around, she's happier. Logically I know it's because she feels rotten and if there are more people she's distracted from it. But when you feel as inadequate as I do, it's a total kick in the balls. So I've felt like shite all day, and to distract my baby from how shite she's been feeling I've had to be out all damn day. I've wanted nothing other than to lie under my duvet and just say fuck the world. But, I have to work every god damn day to deserve to be her mother and fight the thought that she would be better off with somebody else. I hold my shit together, and grit my teeth and make sure she has everything she needs. While plastering a big smile on my face and pretending everything's super 👌🏽 But fuck it. Today's been shite and I'm gonna say it's been shite. Because people need to know that they're not alone. I don't need sympathy. I need solidarity. My baby is sleeping peacefully. Content. She's clean. Fed. She's been played with, sang to. Tickled, kissed, hugged. Loved. She has no idea that her maw is a complete fucking mess 98% of the time. So today wasn't actually shite. It felt like that at the time. But. We survived. I survived. Like I have and will continue to do every fucking day. 🌈🦄💣💃🏻

WTF what shit to avoid buying and what to splash out on

Don't buy a Moses basket. If you have a hand me down that's fine, but don't waste your money buying one for a sprog that's likely going to outgrow it in about 6 weeks. See that 'travel system' you've just fucked a grand on, use the carry cot instead. I'm a genius. I should get paid for this solid gold shit. I personally had a next-2-me. They last until your baby is heavy chubby and long or until you think, 'Fuck this waking up 17 times a night to snarfling. Off to your own room. Toodafuckingloo!'. The latter will probably come first. They're quite expensive but the side folds down so if you're a lazy bastard like myself, you don't have to leave the comfort of your own bed to feed the gremlin. I was also gifted a sleepyhead deluxe. My initial response was 'a bit steep for a fancy, fucking pillow'. It's been a total godsend. I know, babies aren't supposed to sleep on anything but a blah, blah.... the usual shite. But if you have a baby that is miserable from sun up to sun down but is a bit more mellow for being laid on a pillow, just you crack on. Fuck you colic. Because we didn't have a Moses basket, the sleepyhead lives on our couch and baby has all her naps there. I've had a few with my head on it and I totally get it's appeal. It's up to 8 months but given that she's already taller than my short arse sister, we have splashed out on the sleepyhead grand. I had to sell a kidney. But you only need 1. Those fluid filled teething rings 🤦🏻‍♀️ they've been around since the dawn of time, why has no one yet realised they are absofuckinglutely useless. They are too hard for babies to hold, especially when they're teething at 3 months and have as much ability to hold a fluid filled teething ring as a potato has. Introducing the Zoli 🍭 saved my wee life so it has. It's got a handle like a rattle and the bit that goes in the tiny wee mouth is narrow and ridged. Stops the bairn greeting so it's a winner for me. All this fancy shit for the cot, so not worth it. A couple of fitted sheets for the mattress and a good swaddle is all that's needed. Maybe a baby sleeping bag if your kids acting like a dick and is better at swaddle escape than Houdini. I used the summerinfant swaddleme. Works great up until 6 months and costs about a tenner. After that you're fucked cause mat leave pay is bollocks and the over 6 months one is £30 but you really need new jeans because you're surviving solely on 6 bars of chocolate a day and your arse is continually expanding. Steam sterilisers are actually sort of gross. They increase the risk of oral thrush and burn your hands when you've no clean bottles and need to make one straight from the just run steriliser. I was elated when mine broke. I tried to pretend it was broken about 2 months before it finally did. Husband was having none of it. Clever bastard. I now have a proper retro Milton cold water steriliser. Other than it ripping all the skin off my hands after the first week - rubber gloves are essential- haven't had any issues since we've switched. These companies should pay me for this publicity so that I can earn loads and quit my job to hire a nanny for the baby so I can raise an army of alpacas and micro ponies. 🦄🐴🌈

WTF 'Mum tum'

"Embrace your new body. It made a person!" No thanks. I'll have my old body back 🙋🏻 Commenting on a woman's post baby body is more infuriating than when you comment on their pregnancy body. I'm so over the suggestions that I should resign myself to be bigger than I was before. I get that it can be difficult to lose weight after birthing a human, but should it just be accepted that you're never going to fit into pre pregnancy jeans? I think there is more of a stigma around people who 'spring back'. Society accepts that women might be a bit more 'fuzzy around the edges', but is less accepting when they, quite literally, work their asses off. I also can't deal with the commentary about me spending 6 hours a week at the gym. Do I not want to spend time with my baby? Do I not have more important things to be doing at home? How do I have the time? Is running about after a baby not exercise enough? 1. Fuck right fucking off and leave me the fuck alone ya judgemental piece of shit. 2. Not that I have to justify myself, but I exercise for the mental and emotional benefits. If I didn't, I'd probably completely lose my shit..... Again. 3. I happen to believe that time spent away from your children to refresh and recharge is healthy and means that when you do eventually leave them, to work or go out with your 'maw pals' and get shitfaced on rosè wine down the local wetherspoons, that neither of you will experience separation anxiety. 4. People don't give fathers shit when they take time for themselves. 5. You can't take care of anyone else if you don't take care of yourself. Problem? Kiss my squat toned ass 💋🍑

WTF go the fuck to sleep

I’ve been back at work for almost 4 weeks and I’m so tired that I think I might die. I don’t think death by tired is really a thing but it legit feels like it might be.

Baby will not sleep unless swaddled with a dummy. Lay baby down with her pre requisite sleeping attire, fast asleep to wide awake in 26 seconds.

That’s how long it takes to unravel the very tight swaddle, let the grabby wee hands travel north to the mouth and launch the dummy across the room. This results in crying because of the upset of not being asleep because she’s not swaddled and doesn’t have a dummy. What ye playing at shite maw?

Tonight she’s been playing this game for 1 hour and 4 minutes and counting. My most favourite time was when I was in the shower with shampoo in my hair #funtimes

She has been reswaddled 9 times. The dummy has been shoved back in her gub more times than that.

My blood pressure is sky high cause I can’t deal with this shit.

I knew having a baby would mean sleep deprivation. Once she’s asleep there’s no problem! Getting there is the issue. As always I’ve been offered advice on the subject and, as always, I know my baby best and I need you to stop talking because of the aforementioned sleep deprivation.

1. “Maybe it’s too quiet for her to sleep, have you tried some noise? I hear if you play womb sounds…..”

Thanks, I’ve never read any information on the subject of getting a baby to sleep. Because I don’t find it challenging. Please continue with your stellar advice.

2. “Do you not think it’s a bit noisy in here for A baby to sleep?”

Shucks, when I spent an hour outside with a baby fighting sleep in the silence, that was dead successful.

3. “Do you want me to take her for a bit?”

🤦🏻‍♀️ do I want to watch you fumble for 20 minutes while screaming intensifies trying to get her in a position that worked for some baby you knew 36 years ago? I’ll pass.

4. *rocking and shushing sleep fighting baby - eyes are almost closed*

“Oh hi, are you trying to get the baby to sleep?”

No, just like swinging my arms about with a hefty kid in them. Top workout. And thanks for bringing them back from the cusp of slumber! Really appreciate that 🖕🏼

5. “Routine is really important. Maybe she just needs a stricter schedule?”

Maybe you just need to take your face for a shite 💩

https://youtu.be/U08XWOx3XYM http://m.huffpost.com/uk/entry/5607122

WTF crawling

5 and a wee bit months old. Holy fuckballs, shit is going down. Apparently this is very young to be crawling but my kid has no fucks to give about that 🖕🏼 I'm quite frankly horrified. If she's crawling now, she's going to start walking soon. I can't take it. She was a baby for all of about 3 weeks then decided "I'm over this shit and I want to get on with the rest of my life now. Please and thank you." Are my nerves wrecked? Yes. In one week she's gone from a wee shuffle here and there to, cannot take eyes off her for one second. Trying to contain her in anyway causes heartfelt sobs. This is what her to do list has looked like this week: ✔️Pull cat across floor by the tail ✔️Manoeuvre through tiny gap between furniture to yank wires from the wall ✔️Forget to stop and bang head off wall, table, floor, bottom stair ✔️Knock the cats food bowl over and try to eat the biscuits ✔️Find Daddies shoes and scream when Mum doesn't let me lick them Quite an eventful week. My husband asked "if we were to have another, can we make sure they're not as clever so we don't have to work as hard." Sure, 🙄hand me the vodka.... (jk)

WTF google searches

Since becoming a parent my Google searches have become increasingly bizarre. 1. Baby poo colour chart This is legit a thing. It's less disturbed that ratemypoo.com and nowhere near as impressive 2. Why will my baby not stop crying? 3. What is colic? 4. How to get rid of colic? 5. Is my baby possessed by an evil demon? 6. How to tell if your baby is a sociopath 7. Why does my baby hate me? 8. When do babies stop being miserable, greetin' faced wee bastards? (This yielded no results) 9. How to sell a baby. 10. How do I clear my search history?

WTF other people's children

I'm not one of these people that could be described as a 'natural' mother, or overly maternal. You wouldn't meet me and think, "she's destined to have 4 kids and drive a minivan." I ain't no 'soccer mom'. What I am is an overly sarcastic 27 year old with no time for bullshit and a fabulous shoe collection. Babies I don't look at newborn babies and marvel in how cute and squishy they are. They all look a bit like a wrinkly potato to me. They are also incredibly boring. I have no time for other people's babies. I don't even have the patience to feign interest in your slideshow of 'look at photos of my baby who doesn't move and does nothing interesting, only 647 to go.' If it cries, I have no sympathy. I'm immune to baby crying after months of colic and reflux screams from my own. Call me in a couple of months once the kid has developed some personality, we'll talk then. 👌🏽 Toddlers These mini humans are somewhat more tolerable, but I only have a handful that I like. By that I mean 2. These are kids that I've grown to love due to a close bond with their mother. She will admit that her kids can be total arseholes. If you can't admit that little Joey has a tendency to be a tiny social terrorist with a violent streak who likes to smear his own shit on the wall, then you're clearly a sociopath with a delusional belief that your kid is perfect. Toddler to teenager Hate. Hate. HATE. I don't care that they won pupil of the week. Every kid wins it once a year. Your kid isn't awesome. These awards have been totally devalued and are giving kids a false sense that they are above average. I don't understand what's wrong with average? Back in my younger years average was ok. Oh, they got a participation award? Cool story bro 👌🏽 Kids these days have zero resilience. Failure and hardship are character building. Let them fail. Everyone fails, let them develop the fucking skills to cope with it! You shouldn't protect and shelter them from everything, they need to know how the world really works. Typically in this stage they are all 'look at me, I can do..... (insert any skill here)'. Me - *bored* 😴 I don't give a fuck. You may think your children are wonderful, and that's ok. I just don't care to hear about it. Teenagers Are awesome. They fight, swear, get frustrated and start to call their parents out on their shit. They start to develop into proper humans with strong sense of self and personality. I can talk to teenagers, have proper conversations about interesting things. Anyone younger I get awkward and ask questions like, "So, do you like red? As a colour I mean?". Most people hate teenagers but this is where my tolerance for other people's children peaks! Key points: Some people completely lose their sense of self when they become a parent. Mombies who no longer have their own personality and are just an extension of little Phoebe or Claudia. This is not healthy. It's also boring and predictable. Choose to still be your same awesome self, who just happens to have children and can still hold a conversation with other adults that doesn't revolve around your mini tyrants. If you do choose to be a Mombie, don't get pissed off when no one wants to hang out with you anymore. Don't ask me to babysit 😂 I mean....

WTF sleep

"Sleep now, while you can. You won't be sleeping for the next 18 years." *loud obnoxious laughing* Comments like this are one of the many reasons I spent most of my pregnancy smiling like a Stepford wife and screaming on the inside. No fucking shit. No one goes into pregnancy or parenthood thinking "Man, I'm gonna sleep so hard every god damn night." The irony of this: if you're pregnant, you're unlikely to be sleeping well already. As circumference increases, sleep decreases. If you've never been hugely pregnant, or are a man, imagine a fully inflated basketball attached to your torso. It's not exactly comfortable. And, the wee fuckers tend to be nocturnal, love nothing more than a 3am bladder bounce. So you're growing a person, you're already tired and someone starts spouting shit about a future lack of sleep. I'm surprised there are not more cases of pregnant people punching 'well-meaning' asshats. "Sleep when the baby sleeps." Fuck that shit. When the baby sleeps, shower. A nap will leave you feeling more pissed off when crying inevitably wakes you than if you hadn't napped at all. Go to the toilet and check your tweets. Wash the shit and vomit stained clothes. Drink a coffee the size of your head. Scratch your arse. Do whatever the fuck you have to do to keep yourself going. Keeping a tiny human alive is exhausting. The only time you have for you is when they're sleeping. Use it wisely.

Wtf another baby

Get engaged, "When are you getting married?" Get married, "When are you having a baby?" Have a baby, "Are you going to have another baby?". "Do you want to have another baby?". "When are you going to have another baby?". From the minute you have a baby, people are on your case about the next one. It's akin to asking "when do you next intend to have sexual intercourse for the purpose of procreation?". So here is the deal.... The next one is gonna be called Nunya. Nunya Goddamnbusiness. Peace out. Fuckers. ✌🏼

WTF immunisations

I'm about to get controversial! Babycakes had her third set of immunisations yesterday. She was hella raging at the world for about 18 hours. She whinged, cried inconsolably for hours, bled all over my jeans. It was a crap day all round. My ears were ringing by the time I got a kip. But, given the choice, I'd do it again. You have the right not to vaccinate your children. However, you have the responsibility to vaccinate your children. A number of education establishments across America and Australia are preventing kids that are unvaccinated through parental choice from attending. And too fucking right. Preventable diseases are back on the rise. Measles being the most contentious. The efficacy of vaccines depends on 'herd immunity'. Having many vaccinated helps to protect those who can't be vaccinated. Due to genuine allergy to an ingredient in a vaccine or because they are immunocompromised - in the case of those with cancer or transplant recipients. Vaccines show your body the surface antigens associated with a particular infectious agent, allowing your body to generate an immune response and memory cells to be formed. If you are exposed to the actual infectious agent, immune system memory cells will already be able to fight it and you're extremely unlikely to become ill. With the increase in people not vaccinating their children, infections are being allowed to spread. Which is all well and good for a healthy child. If they get an infection their immune system would likely cope very well. The problem is, these healthy unvaccinated kids will pass infection to vulnerable people who cannot be vaccinated through no fault of their own. These are the people most likely to die. Yes, die. None of this information has been copied and pasted from the Internet. I have a degree in Immunology. That means for 4 long years I studied infections, the immune response to them and how best to tackle them. Anti vaxxers get their 'knowledge' from fellow assholes of the Internet, disgraced former 'doctor' Andrew Wakefield and Donald fucking Trump. Autism isn't on the rise. Autism diagnosis is on the rise. Because as the world advances, we have a greater understanding of how the human mind works. Vaccines do not cause Autism. If they did, then logically, everyone who gets vaccines would be autistic. To top it off, what a slap in the face to people with autism - that people of privilege won't vaccinate their children for fear of autism. These people are essentially saying that autism is worse than death from a preventable disease. Cool story bro, next time add more dragons and shit 🤦🏻‍♀️ Check your privilege ✔️ Love your babies, even when you're fed up hearing them whinge. It's worth it to know that you're protecting them.

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