you're gross to be quite honest. @wtfallon-blog - Tumblr Blog

Actually, I’m starting to think the majority of the male population likes to get fucked in the ass. Least you could say, he’s gayer than Richard Simmons singing a duet with Elton John in a bathhouse. Adorable? still debating.

Aw, so cute do you still watch cartoons with sniffer boy? And I’m sorry mate but I’m definitely taller. But hey, seriously, do you still like nature despite what it did to you? A chocolate bar, I’m actually mentally sane.

wtfallon-blog

Nah, ya need to stop surrounding yourself with twinks then obviously. Gayer than Alan Carr, I think, that's as gay as it gets.

Why would I spend any of my time with Princess Andrew, Quiff? Whatever makes you feel better, mate, but you're not. I've no qualms with nature since we're about the same height, fuckwit. You're in here because of dairy? Kind of insane if you ask me.

#cheers #whispers #zayn and louis are the same height #but also wow it's six am???#i watched the sunrise #sighs heavily

summerugh

Oh, we already have something in common. Looks like we’re the only males here who have a liking for the vagina though, apparently sniffer boy swings the other way. We’re practically one and the same, just like the Mitchell brothers, except we’re not bald, ugly and shit. Oh and not to forget I’m gracefully tall and you’re freakishly short.

wtfallon-blog

Yeah, you, me, and the majority of the male population. Oh yeah, I know. Princess Andrew's gayer than the fourth of June. It's adorable really, we should host him his own 'lil pride parade.

Dunno what sort of fantasy world you live in, Esmerelda, but you're not that much taller than me. Rest assured in the fact now we really are practically the same, except I'm a hero and you're - What're you here for?

#We are friends we are #Fallon's just a little #well #eh #you see #but also he always gets expressions wrong

summerugh

Cougars? You’re into that shit? Probably best to keep that kind of information between yourself and your internet service provider, mate.

wtfallon-blog

Naw, mate. I'm into attractive women of all ages. Thanks for your concern though, really kicks the rusty cogs of my cold heart into motion.

It's just fucking touching that you took time of your day to share your unnecessary fucking advice with me, Quiff.

#whispers #it's 'fallon'

andyparks-deactivated20130524

That’s what I was s-saying, yes. F-fine… let’s hear about it then. I’ll try not to f-fall asleep or… laugh. Well that makes t-two of us.

S-shut up, alright? It’s… it’s n-none of your business what I should b-be named. I-if I could give you a name it would be A-Asshole. I have hit… I have hit p-puberty. I have armpit hair a-and everything. What’s that supposed to mean?

wtfallon-blog

You're an asshole, breaking my heart and that. There must've been some mighty gremlins in your past that made you so cold. Yeah? Alright then, tuck in and that. So, there's me at dawn and the sun's kissing the sky just right. Fucking beautiful, let me tell ya, so I tell myself, why don't I go for a walk? S'not often the mornings are beaut after all. So, I pick myself up and go out and about when I hear this fucking god-awful shriek, you following me so far? I've not been one for vigilante justice ever, but you fucking know what? Blood-curdling, that's what the scream was.

So, I ran over, fucking obviously and there's this bird bein' harassed by some well hench wanker. Bein' the fine ol' gentleman that I so obviously am I rushed in to save her. Any man would, right? The bitch ran off but then I got caught in a public fight and was given community service in spite of my good deeds and intentions. Between you and me, toad-eyes, I don't regret a second of it. A real fucking hero, I am. That's why I'm great.

N-Nah, I w-won't sh-shut up, you little fuckwit. Asshole isn't a given name, Lord prevent you from ever having children. Then again, I guess he already stamped out the possibility by making you a total sausage-jockey. Armpit hair, outstanding. Dunno, just that you're a walking, talking turn-off, that's what.

#a a andrew

I swear to Cheryl Cole's mighty rack that if a single one of you shitheads brings up "feeling weird" one more time I'll stab ya with a fork. Your fucking bowel problems are really not important enough to be a topic of conversation.

#idek

tobywtf-deactivated20131113

Funny thing is that I don’t remember falling on my arse but I do remember that you’re the asshole that I have no fucking patience for.

Yeah, ‘cos I really needed your honor with helpin’ me straightin’ shit out. Oh, I’d watch what you’re saying- don’t want to be walking in with a pretty face and out with a ugly one; wait, you already have one. Oh okay, let me just go get my book of fucks to give. I’d love to chat with you ‘bout your feminine insecurities.

wtfallon-blog

Whoa now, Ashley, I'd tell ya to calm your tits, but you don't have any, so.

You're the 'lil fuckwit who brought up their wistful problems. If ya didn't want help, keep your lips zipped, simple as. Back to me and my manly life-stories, yeah? We both know I'm far, far more interesting than you - even when you are being grossly hormonal and irritable.

#the little spermmaid

andyparks-deactivated20130524

Y-you obviously have an inflated i-idea of your importance then, F-Fallon. If you’re so g-great, what are you doing in c-community service?

Y-yes… that. I hate it, even m-more than I hate you m-making fun of my voice. I- I’ve hit p-puberty! How would you even know… a-anyway?

wtfallon-blog

Are ya sayin' I'm not important then, ya lil shit? Ha, well. That's a tall tale, but if you're willing to have me talk your earlobes off with the greatest tale of bravery in the fucking universe, I'll happily oblige. I'm not a perverted douchebag.

But A-A-Andrew, it's such a nice name. You don't even deserve a name this nice, to be honest. Unfuckable twerps like you should be named, fuck knows, Philmore or summat. Your face says it all. S'alright. Even if you did hit puberty, s'not like anyone would touch you with a ten metre stick.

#laughing so hard #a a andrew

tobywtf-deactivated20131113

Honestly though, what the fuck happened? I’m strolling back to my bunk and next thing I know; I’m laying on the ground with a strange feeling.

tobywtf-deactivated20131113

wtfallon-blog

Quit falling on your arse and then you'll stop finding yourself on the ground. Really not that discomfuckulating.

Now that I've done ya the honour of ironin' out your stupid white, or in your case, hispanic girl problems, let's talk about me.

#the little spermmaid

andyparks-deactivated20130524

G-gay epiphany, you m-mean? I… I’m n-not sure what you’re tying t-to… to say. I d-don’t need anybody to look out for me, especially n-not someone like you.

S-stop… stop it. Stop calling me that. I don’t have… a- I don’t have a problem, I j-just want you to leave me alone.

wtfallon-blog

Alright, alright. Nobody likes a smarty-knickers. Epiphany-shmiphany. Someone like me? What's that meant to mean, ya 'lil shit? I'm great, you'd be lucky to have me watchin' your back. Little fuckwit.

Callin ya what, Andrew? Is that all you w-want? Well, little Miss Parker, m'fraid I can't aquiesce to your request and that. I don't listen to people who haven't hit puberty yet.

#he's not thaaaat mean #a a andrew

andyparks-deactivated20130524

I don’t know… what you’re t-talking about. I just feel… d-different.

W-why are you… why are you m-making fun of me?

wtfallon-blog

Hold on, princess. If you're gonna have your big, honey-haired, gay epipha-whatsis, I don't want it to be with me. They say a lil' knowledge is a diagonal thing, am only lookin' out for ya, ya 'lil perverted cherub.