Stupid Annoying Shit My Roommate Does

[wtfiswrongwiththisguy]

"Just got back from visiting home this weekend"

-the first thing he says to us while still standing in the doorway.

[wtfiswrongwiththisguy]

him: (interjecting while me and other roommate were talking about the $500 million power ball lottery) are you talking about the megaball lottery?

other roommate: yea

him: tell me if you win

me and other roommate: ...

other roommate: nah dude, I'm not gonna tell anyone, man.

[wtfiswrongwiththisguy]

he cooked it, but overheard me telling our other roommate who really owns it.

[wtfiswrongwiththisguy]

*grabs my TGIFridays frozen meal from the freezer*

*to our other roommate* "Hey, it serves two. Do you want some"

I'm just gonna see if he really does it.

[wtfiswrongwiththisguy]

out of the blue, he just started trying to do push ups in the living room

no one even mentioned anything remotely close to it.

[wtfiswrongwiththisguy]

he's drunk (off of two beers)

expect updates.

[wtfiswrongwiththisguy]

me: alright, see you around 5.

him: laterz

*we walk in the same direction*

*he leans forward and shuffles his feet faster than a walk, hobbling from side to side*

me: (oh god, is he... he's running?!)

*starts walking about 20m in front of me*

[wtfiswrongwiththisguy]

Closes the trunk as I walk to the car every fucking morning. And then realizes I have to put my bag in there too.

Every. Fucking. Morning.

[wtfiswrongwiththisguy]

"What's a null terminated string?"

he is a graduate student in electrical engineering, currently working at a job at a semiconductor company programming on a design team. Graduated with honors from undergrad and has a 3.7 as a master's student.

[wtfiswrongwiththisguy]

him: did you make noodles?

me: yes.

him: okay. just checking.

[end of conversation]

[wtfiswrongwiththisguy]

"whose enchiladas are these in the microwave"

the only people in this house are me and him

[wtfiswrongwiththisguy]

playing Team Fortress 2 on PC with his speakers on full volume. Tomorrow's a work day.

[wtfiswrongwiththisguy]

Tries to talk blacker around black people that don't even talk black to him in the first place

.

[wtfiswrongwiththisguy]

Questions whether I drove us to the right place because his GPS says it's not here even though the sign of the shop is right above us

.

[wtfiswrongwiththisguy]

Moans while walking around the house

.

[wtfiswrongwiththisguy]

Moans loudly while taking a shit

.

[wtfiswrongwiththisguy]

found a way to make his touch screen Windows phone click-clack while texting