Content: contrary to popular belief, the fire lord can't have everything he wants. however, even he’d admit that what he wanted was troublesome in itself, which is why he forces himself to be okay with having you by his side as his advisor. [tw: MDNI, angst/fluff/smut, apothecary diaries coded, so much yearning and longing, slowburn, porn with plot, there is no power imbalance he’s afraid of your father, zuko’s a little shit, jealous!zuko, we’re already married in his head, found family trope(ish), zuko has daddy issues] wc: 4.3k
m.list | chapter three | chapter four | next chapter
You are mad at Zuko. Again.
He is a good person. He ended a war for fuck’s sake— one that lasted for over one hundred years. At sixteen, mind you. He could’ve easily said, to hell with you all, enjoy the dictator.
He doesn’t deserve this.
It was bad enough that the chancellor came along. You have arranged for Concubine Saiyo to accompany him, again. You also brought guards. Half a dozen of them. He’s staring at two of them right now, sitting way too close to you.
The strategist had sent them here, as if you alone weren’t worth a dozen soldiers yourself. He couldn’t even make it up if he tried— that’s the criteria that needed to be met in order to be accepted into the military’s elite unit.
He knows you could’ve easily declined the assistance, you just chose not to— this is you sending him a message. One he heard loud and clear last time, when you stormed back into his chambers after chasing that servant.
There was a sudden burst of light at first, making him turn to see what caused it. As he was doing so, the smell of something burning hit his nose.
You were burning his curtain to a crisp.
It wasn’t until the ash eventually got swept away by the wind when he looked at you, only to rudely be told to, “Get a fucking door.”
There was no forgetting the cold look in your eye or the sharp tone you used to cut into him in that moment.
“I won’t bother to remind you of your place, so let me remind you of mine— I’m here to keep you on that fucking throne. If your alliances were to have seen what that servant had just witnessed, they will question your intentions. They will question everything— starting with the fact that you still don't have an heir. You’ve come too far, worked too hard to mess this up. I won’t allow you to— I refuse.”
And then.
“Never. Touch me. Again.”
That was the hardest part to hear— he held you knowing he’d never hurt you, and yet, he still did.
You went on to pretend as if nothing had ever happened. No silent treatment. No smart, overly formal remarks meant to provoke him.
You continued to be his advisor.
Just not his friend.
—
Despite all the murderous air that’s recently settled in the Silk District, it’s still as magnetic as ever.
It was more than just brothels. It was endless entertainment. Sprawling markets. Exotic goods. Diverse cuisines. Festivals. You couldn’t even say the brothels were “just brothels”, the courtesans were gold standard.
It wasn’t just people from all over the nation that visited— it was people from all over the world. And for that, there’s many hotels, luxurious ones. The owner of the hotel you’re staying in was generous enough to completely shut it down for the Fire Lord’s visit.
Zuko usually doesn't require such excessive accommodations. There was a point in time when he didn't even have a roof over his head, let alone a bed. Not to mention he starved for the entirety of it— that’s not exactly something that leaves you.
It really doesn’t take much to make him happy.
He couldn’t say the same for most, if not all, the company he brought today, which is why he held off on saying anything other than a simple thank you.
The owner and the manager were waiting outside at the time of your arrival, more than happy to welcome their most special guests with refreshments. The soldiers were tasked to be Saiyo’s food taster for the trip. Yet you absentmindedly took on the task, taking a sip of the mango juice before grabbing another glass from the tray and handing it to her. You’re no stranger to travel, but you seem awfully familiar with the place.
Perhaps it has something to do with the man that just called out your name.
“My…” The man continues to walk up to you and Zuko can't help but notice how mesmerized the bastard looks. “You’re as lovely as ever.”
The look Zuko gave the guards was nothing short of startling. They knew he was a peaceful man, so the fact that he even had the capability of exuding such dark energy sent chills running down their spines.
Instantly, they unsheathed their swords and stepped forward. The worst part of it all, the stranger couldn’t feel any less threatened by the act. He holds his hands up in innocence and chuckles.
The man had long, brown hair with half of it worn up in a knot. Draped in a loose fitting robe that revealed a muscular physique. Tall. Green, cat-like eyes.
He’s very attractive.
Unfortunately.
“It’s fine,” you murmur, signaling for the guards to lower their swords. There’s not much enthusiasm in your tone as you greet him back, “Ryuko.”
“I must say it’s not very surprising to see you wearing the imperial crest on your robe, you’ve always been a clever one,” his grin grows, as confident as ever.
You have no idea how to respond to that. “And you’re…”
“The newest council member of the district,” he reveals, then redirects his attention to Zuko. “Your Majesty,” he offers a subtle bow, “Please excuse my manners— I was not aware I’d be running into an old friend today. It’s a pleasure to welcome your arrival to the district.”
The apology does nothing to ease Zuko’s irritation as he continues to assess the councilman like he was some threat.
“Likewise.”
It’s a harsh crowd, not that Ryuko cares. If anything, he expects it from those that come from the Royal Capital. Pompous fucks.
Oh well. Work is work. At least some parts of it will be more interesting now.
—
The Fire Lord can’t help but thank the gods for Concubine Saiyo’s penchant for gossip and general nosiness.
“It seems your old friend may have had a bit of a crush on you,” the concubine says with a light giggle.
Ryuko stayed for a little longer, revealing he’d be at the new facility for the majority of your week-long stay.
“You’re definitely not wrong,” you suppress a laugh, taking another sip of wine. “We were engaged at one point.”
Zuko stops mid-chew.
“Oh? May I ask what happened?”
“I had a bit of a rebellious phase and it came to an end,” you were comfortable enough to reveal.
The mood of tonight’s dinner leaned more towards the intimate side. You wouldn’t be the only one sharing personal details— the chamberlain was just complaining about his daughter not very long ago. Though you’re sure some of the wine you’ve been sipping on all evening helped.
“Care to share the details of this rebellious phase of yours?” the chamberlain shyly asks— it seems he had the penchant for gossip as well.
Since it’s the chamberlain asking and you’re looking to turn it into a learning lesson in your slightly inebriated state, you decide to humor him.
“Well,” you sigh, wondering where to start. “I moved here shortly after turning eighteen and stayed for a little over a year. It’s a wonderful place, really— very lively. Shortly after moving, I met a girl at the market. Her name was Cyra and she was a courtesan. Anyways, she was the first friend I made here—“
Saiyo puts a hand over her mouth. “Did she recruit you?”
“Saiyo, please,” Zuko snaps at her, already struggling at the fact that you were engaged. He did not need the image of you fucking more men in his head right now.
“I’m sorry, My Lord!” she squeaks out.
“I wouldn’t say she recruited me.”
“What?” his tone hardened, it goes unnoticed given everyone else’s shock. It’s a little insulting.
“Some of the girls in the brothel she worked for were firebenders and I ended up being an instructor of some sorts to elevate their fire dances. Fire dancing tends to be energetic, which is great for festivals, but not for the songs they sing and instruments they play. So, I helped them make their dances look more graceful.”
Their madam was quite generous with your compensation. You went on to give more private lessons at other brothels and somehow became a part of an underground society filled with the district’s elite. That was where you met Ryuko.
The people of the silk district didn’t care so much about what class you were in. If you had something interesting to offer, whether it be a courtesan who’s gained notoriety from simply being unforgettable or a fighter who people could confidently place their bets on, you were considered important.
Ryuko ran a fight club. He also accepted money from wealthy merchants and business owners on the side whenever they needed one of his fighters to do some of their dirty work for them— you only found out the morning his home was raided, which led to his arrest.
“And yeah— he went off to prison and I went back home.” The room’s silent, everyone‘s just staring at you with their eyes wide. “Anyways, that’s why it’s important to offer assistance, especially when it comes to a place like this. Not add more violence.”
The chancellor looks away in shame. Zuko’s not looking at you anymore, either. There is a lot he wants to say right now, many of them being questions like, who in their right mind allowed a fucking criminal to be a member of the council?
“Do you still love him?”
That as well. Thank you, Saiyo.
You hum. “I was young, I’m not sure if I truly ever did. Looking back, I don’t think the engagement would’ve lasted.”
“I see,” she took another sip of wine. “Well, I think it’s wonderful that you had the chance to explore the world for some time. I’m sure you have better judgement because of it.”
“Thank you. I’d say so, too.”
—
Accepting your fathers initial offer to bring guards was a decision made with a scattered mind and empty stomach.
The entire purpose of opening a rehabilitation program was so people could be treated with dignity and you didn’t consider how showing up with multiple guards would look up until the last moment. So to avoid looking wary of the very people you once ate meals and danced with, you only brought only one along and assigned him to the chancellor.
He’s not any more sheltered than Saiyo, and if the presence of a guard is what’ll prevent him from fainting at the sight of someone covered in tattoos, then so be it.
It didn’t take him long to figure it out.
“I can assure I don’t need a bodyguard,” he forces out a laugh. “I understand you kids had your adventures, but—“
“Chancellor, you’re not referring to the time my father exiled me from the nation at thirteen years old, are you?” Zuko dryly asks, instantly killing the mood.
“No, no— never,” the old man stutters. “Your other adventures, w-with your friends!”
He hums. “I see.”
You stay quiet throughout the exchange, sticking to your new rule of only speaking to Zuko when you actually need to tell him something. Even if you had a change of heart, you’re not sure how that would go. He’s grown to be more sarcastic with his answers as of late, and you’d rather not be on the receiving end of it, for obvious reasons.
This is the first time you’ve felt any sympathy for the Chancellor. But at least he’s able to walk away.
The Fire Lord doesn’t allow you to do that. He spends the day quietly trailing behind you, keeping you somewhat within his reach. Not overbearing, but noticeable. To you, at least.
The new facility is bigger than the one in Republic City. A two-story with high ceilings and plenty of rooms. Lots of natural sunlight.
“They’re going to be living it up like kings in here, aren’t they?” Your comments directed more towards Jin, who’s been working day and night since his arrival. There’s a deadline and it seems like he’s trying to cut it in half— you appreciate a hard worker when you see one.
“Yes, they are,” he hums with satisfaction.
He’s a sweet man. You’re glad the Lord has been more receptive of him compared to last time.
“And here we have the meditation room,” Jin reveals. “It might be a little difficult getting them to calm their minds at first, but it’ll quickly become a favorite, as it did with—“
Jin’s cut off by random knocks. You both turn around to find the Fire Lord’s knuckles against the freshly painted wall.
It’s difficult to pinpoint what’s so awkward about it. It just looks odd. Could it be due to Jin’s immediate reaction? He fixed his posture, looking as if he were about to get yelled at.
“…Is everything to your liking, Lord Zuko?”
Your lips stay shut, averting your gaze from the man as he looks back at the director and makes an attempt at being polite.
“Mhm,” Zuko pulls his hand away from the wall, unaware of how uncomfortable Jin is at the moment. “Very sturdy.”
“Yes, my Lord,” he nods, a wave of relief crashing over him. “It’s wonderful for absorbing sound.”
“I see that— excellent work.” Zuko’s bored face doesn’t match his sudden enthusiasm. There’s a bit of a stare off afterwards, and that’s when Zuko finally notices how nervous the director is. It annoys him. “You may continue.”
“O-of course, my Lord.”
The tour goes on for another thirty minutes before you find yourselves in the backyard for lunch with the rest of the volunteers… and the Chamberlain, who you’re sure has been utterly useless in all the time you’ve been here. Still, he’s actually not all that bad to be around, and you hand him a plate.
You’re one of the last to go up to the long table that’s filled with various dishes, grabbing a little bit of everything as you walk along it.
Until you run into something at the very end, leaving you quietly startled.
“My apologies.”
“Oh.” You wouldn’t call your reaction to that familiar voice negative. You did refuse to apologize, though. “Didn’t see you there.”
“That’s alright,” Ryuko smiles, then cheekily adds another small portion of food onto your plate. “Are you on your break right now?”
“I guess,” you murmur, walking to the other side of the table, not missing how he just comes along. “May I ask why you’re following me right now?”
“Well, I was hoping we could talk.”
You deadpan. “We already are.”
“Privately,” he persists. “Just 10 minutes, please. That's all I need for an apology and explanation.”
“I’m not angry with you and there’s nothing to explain.”
“For you, perhaps. But for me?” He places his hand over his chest, eyes filled with that same stubborn look. “I’d really like to do the right thing here.”
At first you sigh, wondering why you can’t just eat your food in peace. Then you find your eyes trailing towards the table where the Lord and the Chamberlain are currently seated, along with the guard. It’s the one in the bun you’re worried about, but he seems to be in his own head right now as he silently eats, leaving the other two to conserve among themselves.
“Do you need to ask for permission?” Ryuko sounds slightly concerned when he asks.
You shouldn’t feel the need to, it’s not like you’d get in trouble. But the way your chest tightens is hard to ignore.
“No, never.” You rip your gaze away from the table to look at Ryuko again. “Fine. Ten minutes.”
—
Zuko’s not sure why you think he can’t see you. From his peripheral vision, he saw everything— you running into whatever his name is, the whole dance you two did around that table, and then you staring at him before running off with that man.
Or shall he say criminal?
It’s been over nine minutes since then and he’s currently counting down the seconds until it becomes ten.
Is that unfair? Sure.
Ten.
You may not be his lover, and made it clear that you never will be, but guess what?
Seven.
He’s still your boss.
Six.
You have a long list of duties and he is prepared to make that list even longer.
Three.
Two.
…One.
“Where are you going, my Lord?” the Chancellor asks, surprised at how he abruptly stood.
“You have a guard, you’ll be fine.” He waves a dismissive hand as he begins to walk away from the man he just offended.
The facility doesn’t have many furnishings at the moment, you could only imagine how loud his footsteps would be. Luckily, one of his many talents is the ability to go unnoticed, all thanks to his time spent as a fugitive. It’s not like he’s tiptoeing and hiding behind walls, either. He’s just quiet— even when his eye twitched after hearing a tone that was far too hushed for his liking.
It grows clearer the closer he gets, his footsteps leading him towards the second kitchen.
“…a chance?”
He's aware that finding a cramped, closed off corner to stand in isn’t very befitting for his role as the nation’s ruler, but it could be worse.
He could be a dictator.
“…I’m a man now.” Oh, shut up. “I can take care of you…”
“That doesn’t matter… It’s been years… I like my life in the Royal Capital.”
“What life is that of an Advisor?” Ryuko’s voice grows tense, as does the Lord’s fist. “You can’t tell me there’s a future in that… that man is going to chew you up and spit you out once he's done with you.”
You stutter and then there’s silence. Having to listen to someone dwindle you down like that pulls at his chest.
“You think he won’t? I was here for an entire hour and witnessed the way he looks at you… he thinks he owns you.”
“…why do you keep bringing up the Fire Lord? You keep talking about me as if I’m his pet… this facility was all my idea.”
Correct.
“And who’s taking credit for it?”
God he fucking hates this guy.
“I don’t want credit. Look, I— they’re probably looking for me by now already… I’m sorry.”
“You’re here for a week— let me prove myself to you.”
“I don’t know how you’d be able to do that.”
“I’ll find a way.”
In those last few minutes Zuko stood there in silence, waiting until the coast was clear for him to leave, he couldn’t help but think about what your ex-fiancé had said to you.
That man is going to chew you up and spit you out once he's done with you.
You had no idea how to respond to such words.
Did they hurt you?
Did you believe them, even for just a single moment?
There was a selfish part of him that wanted to believe you were hurt, for no reason other than knowing it simply wasn’t true. You’re one of the most important people in the meeting room. You said it yourself, this was all your idea. You’re no pet.
Saying such things to a proud woman like yourself was unkind, at best. The fact that someone thought they could do so sickened him. If you can’t accept all that Zuko wants to give you, he can only hope you at least use him as an example for how you should be treated.
—
“Do you ever miss living here?”
You softly hum in thought. “Sometimes. It was fun.”
“And now your life’s so serious,” Cyra blows out a puff of smoke, a wooden tobacco pipe held loosely in her hand. “I must say, though— the Fire Lord is quite handsome.”
You try to hold it in, but you burst into a small fit of laughter. She had already asked about Ryuko— you both had joked over his sudden delusions of getting you back. Now it seems like she’s moving to the newest topic.
“What’s so funny about that?” She sits up, handing the tobacco pipe to you.
You hope no one’s around to smell it on you by the time you step back inside from the balcony.
The owner of the hotel has arranged for a night of entertainment, minus the services, knowing he was being accompanied by a concubine on the trip. Seeing your old friend walk in with the rest of the entertainers was a better surprise than seeing your ex-fiancé. You had mentioned your visit in the previous letter you’d written to her and bought herself out for tonight just so she could sit here with you.
“Do you not think he’s attractive?”
There’s still a smile on your face when you finally answer, “am I blind?”
“For a moment, you had me under the impression that you were,” she laughs, laying back on the day bed and looking up at the stars. “Now that I’m here, will you tell me more about his less diplomatic side, since you won’t write about it in the letters?”
She catches on fast. You hardly mention him at all out of fear that the letters get lost in transit.
“Like what?”
“Just… random, stupid stuff.”
“Well… he gets in these moods sometimes, and it’s as if he’s a broody teenage boy,” you stifle a laugh. “It’s hard to take it seriously when I’m having to watch everyone tiptoe around a manchild.”
You tend to look away during those moments, such as today, because he’ll just become angry. Today was by far your most successful day.
He’s been in a mood since you’ve yelled at him. While you feel bad for those suffering around him, like the Chancellor, it’s better off this way. You’ve never had to threaten a servant like that before. It was subtle, of course, but a threat is a threat. Hopefully you never have to do anything like that again.
You don’t tell Cyra any of those details, though. It was best if you kept quiet on the matter.
“So the Fire Lord is a spoiled brat?”
You tilt your head and think. “A brat, yes. But I wouldn’t say spoiled. He likes his showers cold and prefers street food. I’m sure he’ll sneak out of here one night with a cloak just to grab some skewers.”
“He sounds like your type.”
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
Cyra giggles and moves on, knowing you wouldn’t budge whether it was true or not. She looks back inside to take a peek at the Fire Lord. He looks bored and unimpressed with all the people surrounding him, even with the woman sitting by his side.
“Does he like his concubine?”
“He likes her enough,” you murmur tentatively. “That’s the one he frequents the most.”
“Is there any reason in particular?”
You all but shrug, knowing the thought of him waiting until he’s pent up and angry to visit his concubines is a thought she’d enjoy too much, being the crude woman she is. Instead you say something about Saiyo’s personality, rather than her… physical endurance, all while trying to move on to a new topic.
Everyone’s gone by the early morning. You didn’t notice how tired you were until you watched Cyra walk out of the lobby with a pair of heavy eyes.
You didn’t expect anyone to be awake by the time you got back up to the suite, but just as you begin to pour yourself a glass of water, you hear heavy footsteps.
Zuko almost stops once your eyes meet.
You’re guessing he’s here for the same reason you are. Given his high tolerance, he tends to drink the most during any occasion alcohol is served and you can imagine how parched one could get once the effects wear off.
You look away and continue to pour, thinking he’s too tired to offer more than the hum of acknowledgment he gave as he continued to walk closer, grabbing a glass for himself.
“Was that the friend you spoke of last night?”
The urge to let out a long sigh was one you had to fight. You were reluctant to answer him, he’s not supposed to speak to you with that much ease anymore.
“Yes. Were you interested in her services?”
He stopped and just blinked, looking at you in annoyance because you knew him better than that. “I was only curious about her because she’s friends with you.”
How aggressively wholesome of him.
“I see.”
“Yeah,” he says rather mockingly in return, giving you a taste of the treatment he’d been giving to everyone else as of late.
But then he rolls it back.
“If you want to spend a day or two with her this week, you could.”
“I don’t think that’d be necessary—“
He softly cuts you off. “It’s not, but it’s a chance to spend time with her before going back to the capital.”
You pick up the glass of water, thumb smoothing over the condensation as you take a moment to think about it. “What about the facility?”
“You’ve already done your part when you first suggested it.” There’s not much warmth in his tone. Had there been any, you probably would’ve thought he had an ulterior motive. “It’s just an offer.”
“Alright. I’ll guess I’ll take it then,” you avoid direct eye contact as you murmur. “Thank you.”
“Mhm.”
You miss the way his lips try to twitch into a smile, committed to keeping his composure despite the rush of tranquility you had just given him.
He still hasn’t bothered to remember your ex-fiancé’s name, but given his goal of winning your heart over in just a week's time, it’s safe to say he’s a man of persistence.
And so is Zuko, which is why he’s decided he is going to make that goal absolutely impossible to achieve.
Appreciation post for all the JJK writers getting hate right now
The way some of you have been treating jjk writers lately is so fkn weird and ungrateful… like genuinely, what do you gain from tearing apart something people create for free? y’all have gotten way too comfortable being disrespectful. If you don’t like something, just leave?
I don’t want to complain, but this picture took a whole week. I wanted to add more characters, but in the end it was a battle with my patience, to be honest.
kaledo-art
areudirty
dededos
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