Wuthering Lights

var _gaq = _gaq || []; _gaq.push(['_setAccount', 'UA-26574186-1']); _gaq.push(['_trackPageview']); (function() { var ga = document.createElement('script'); ga.type = 'text/javascript'; ga.async = true; ga.src = ('https:' == document.location.protocol ? 'https://ssl' : 'http://www') + '.google-analytics.com/ga.js'; var s = document.getElementsByTagName('script')[0]; s.parentNode.insertBefore(ga, s); })(); I am a mother, wife, photographer and a passionate advocate of breastfeeding. On the 28th September 2011 @ 13.30 I was diagnosed with breast cancer. This is my journey along the way with my camera. WARNING: This journal contains graphic images of pre and post surgical operations..

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Sunday in February. Valentine's weekend.

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This feels like me.

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Feelings through the window at work.

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February 2015 This is my daughter growing up. I love the very bones of her.

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Sunday in February 2015 Welcome back. The fog hasn't lifted yet and I feel like I'm in an older more decrepit body sometimes. My days are lifted with my lovely family. I work at creating lots of little crafts to use my constantly fluttering hands. I still love my camera. It still helps me get along. I have put on the burden of weight which I of course don't like and constantly obsess about. I watch lots of films on my iPad. I read lots & lots of books. I work hard at work 5 days a week. I have to have asleep in the afternoon when I come home at 4pm due to tiredness in my bones. I'm here though and that's the main thing.

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Work and home.

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Scary August 2014 I felt a lump, my oncologist felt a lump. It's not seeming suspicious she said. It doesn't stop you worrying and over thinking. Having the same woman scan you who found the first cancer is weird again. Then the words you longed for. All clear.

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Chris Marker - The greatest.

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Is the Mother-Wound Ruining Our Romantic Relationships?

Mother-Wound

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Oncology appointment

23rd July 2014 How strange the breast care nurse rang me today whilst it was on my mind. I missed my lymph check and can now attend an hour early to have my arm measured. I'm dreading this meeting. I ache and feel a bit worried. Let's be uplifted though.

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July 2014 Heat wave time. We're not sun people.

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A landmark day 19.18 15th July 2014 I will be applying for our family passports for the first time ever. I will be taking my family on a seaside summer holiday next year 2015. We have never, ever done this. My job has become hard, my side effects are often intolerable. I will be changing the focus of this family. We will begin to take pleasure in holidays. It's been a long, long time coming and I'm determined to make it happen. When I do something I do it.

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May 2014 This is how I appear to everyone. I'll help anyone. Inside my hormones are being torn away violently from my body and I'm crying inside my heart for the loss of my intimate feelings and the strength of the tussle going in inside my head as the medication to prevent the cancer returning fights my desire and will to leave my natural emotions behind.