[ARTICLE] Wonho (Monsta X) opens up about his dark past and apologizes to fans
βActually, Iβm always feeling unsettledββ
We asked why he felt like that,
Wonho opened up about his past.
βBecause I know my mistakeβ¦β
βNo matter what I say, itβs just a fallacy. Itβs because I was wrong.β
βTherefore, I tried my best, so that I would not make the same mistake again.β
Above all, he said that thanks to his fans, he was determined to change.
βI have got what is called love. I donβt want to let them down, even just a little.β
In February, Dispatch had a meeting with Wonho, Monsta Xβs former member. At that time, he was reviewing himself for his past controversies when the police were investigating his allegations of drug use in 2013.
βYes, thatβs right. I acknowledge my past. I was too stupid. I have tried my best not to live like that again. I only think about the members, the group and my fans.β
He added that he was misunderstood.
βI donβt use drugs. The police are investigating it. When my innocence is proven, please write an article about my story. I want to apologize and clear up the misunderstanding. I also want to be forgiven by everyone.β
On March 10, the police ruled Wonho not guilty. After the investigation on allegations of drug use, the police closed the case because no suspicious points were found. Therefore, we would like to write about Wonhoβs story.
β βIt was unfortunate in those daysβ
An apartment for rent located in Sanbon Ward, Gunpo City, Gyeonggi Province. This apartment has a living room (small size) and a room. Wonho lived there with his grandmother, parents, and younger brother. A miserable period of his life.
βI lived in a small rental apartment until I was 20 years old. My grandmother used the only room. My father, mother, younger brother and I all ate and slept in the living room. At that time I didnβt know it was poverty.β
In elementary school, he didnβt get along well with his peers. He was always teased. The torment went on repeatedly. Wonho was a shy and timid child.
βSometimes my friends teased me by saying Iβm dirty, sometimes bullied me just because they felt bored. My friends didnβt like me at all. In fact, there are many more memories I donβt want to remember. In short, I was alienated by my friends.β
Certainly, he got troubled at his home as well. Wonhoβs parents fought every day for money. Wonho spent most of his time outside. Then, he knew a stranger in the neighborhood.
βAt home, I was not at ease because my parents argued all the time. I had to kill the time outside every day. Just like that, I happened to know a brother in the ward, then I started to follow him.β
β βI was once interested in bad thingsβ
Since then, Wonho wasnβt bullied anymore. No, rather, others started to avoid him. Wonho said he felt fun seeing his friends being dissatisfied.
βOne day, I went downstairs and bumped into a friend who had bullied me. I unconsciously cowered. However, that guy opened up first, βHo Seok, Iβm sorry.β I suddenly became arrogant. Thatβs not good, butβ¦β
Wonho escaped from being an outcast. But he did not feel happy. The situation was still the same, the discord did not end yet. Eventually, he became more and more pessimistic. This happened when Wonho was in high school.
βMy parents argued on that day. Suddenly, I felt choked in my heart. I saw no hope in this house. I walked out of the house unconsciously. At that time, I did not realize the importance of families.β
Outside the familyβs shelter, it was even more dangerous. Wonho hung out with new friends, then was caught up in something he shouldnβt have done. Some of his friends went to juvie on suspicion of special theft. Wonho got milder punishment, he was placed under probation.
βI donβt want to blame my friends. Because that was also my choice. It sounds like an excuse, but at that time, I was not mature. It was my fault. My fault only. I apologize.β
Wonho ran into a lot of difficulties in his teens. Itβs literally a stormy period with intense highs and downs. Then, he met Jung Dae Eun. He remembered that it was when he was in the 2nd year of high school.
βWe immediately became closer. We also did modeling jobs together. Da Eun helped me a lot. She even supported my dream of becoming a singer.β
Before the age of 20, Wonho, called Lee Ho Seok at that time, was a rebellious boy. He went astray and resented reality. However, after the age of 20, Wonho changed. He moved forward and tried his utmost to overcome the reality of life. That is the epiphany.
βI saw my friends practice like crazy. They were all dreaming of their own dreams. I was jealous of them. So I could only live in resentmentβ¦ At that time, I promised myself that I wonβt waste my life anymore.β
Wonho practiced day and night. Whenever he had free time, he ran to the stair corridor because he needed a place to practice alone. There, he constantly danced, rested, and danced again.
βI joined the trainees who entered the company at the same time with me to dance and sing all night. I didnβt feel tired. Because there was a ray of hope in me that βI have a future tooβ. I was happy. Activities with the group were also very delightful. In those 4 years, I learned a lot.β
β βThe past gets in the wayβ
In 2015, Wonho debuted as a member of Monsta X. The group has released 12 albums in Korea as well as taking Asia, Europe, and the United States by storm. Monsta X also achieved significant success as they landed at No.39 on Billboardβs Pop Songs Chart (in 2019) and became the third K-pop artist to accomplish this.
In 2019, when Wonho was on the rise, his murky past caught up with him. He, in turn, entangled in the controversy related to the Me Too movement and the fact that he was once under house arrest was also exposed. In 2013, he was even placed under investigation in suspicion of drug use.
βItβs true that I made a mistake, but there are some misunderstandings about me as well. Of course, Iβm aware that these are irreversible. Because not everyone goes down the wrong way and falls into such a situation. I reflected on myself a lot at the time I was under house arrest.β
Wonho didnβt give more explanations. He admitted his past wrongdoings and apologized many times. However, he resolutely denied suspicion of drug use. He said that he absolutely never touched that illegal substance.
βI acknowledge my past deeds. But what I didnβt do, I would say no. I absolutely do not use drugs. I have explained it clearly to the police.β
After more than 5 months of investigation, the police have concluded that Wonho was innocent. They did not find evidence related to drug use. The police also investigated whether Wonho used drugs in the form of tablets. However, they did not discover any drugs.
β βI donβt want to hurt anyoneβ
Wonho quit Monsta X. In October 2019, before officially departing from the group, he left a message that reads, βThe members have been hurt by someone like me. All of them have no relation to me at all. I hope that you guys will be Monsta Xβs pillar of strength.
"The group made lots of efforts to prepare a new album. I hate to see Monsta X collapse (just because of me). I think I should leave the group as soon as possible so Monsta X can continue their activities. Iβd like to prevent the damage to them as much as I could.β
One more thing, the reason for his determination is MonBeBes.
βI can confidently say that I have completely changed after meeting MonBeBes. I understood what it is like to be loved. I want to live a good life every day.β
According to Wonho, he has never lost his concentration on work. Most of his daily tasks are making music, exercises, and fan communication. In fact, Wonho often chatted with fans through live broadcasts, each of which lasted for around 3~4 hours, during his overseas tour.
βActually, this is the first time I feel such warmth. So, I donβt want to let everyone down. I just want to do the things that the fans like. I want to repay that love. Butβ¦β
β βAnyway, Iβm sorryβ
The past has been exposed. He wondered what he could do. It was concluded that he could do nothing but withdraw from the group. He thought it was a way to ease the fansβ pain (even just a little).
βI promised the fans many things. I also said I would always stay by their side. Although I only lived and thought of fans, I apologize for leaving this wayβ¦β
However, he explained that he was forced to do so
βIn the past, I lived as Lee Ho Seok, and now as Wonho. Is it possible that Wonho is not responsible for what Lee Ho Seok did? I have to shoulder that responsibility. In the end, I have hurt everyone with my past. I want to relieve that pain.β
Wonho hasnβt left his house for a while. He lived in silence, to avoid causing damage to those around him. During that time, he was cleanly acquitted of drug-related allegations. Wonho shared that it was fortunate enough.
βEven up to now, I canβt forget the fans. On the contrary, I am just so regretful. I feel regret, I should have done a little better. I do this interview with one reason only, which is to apologize to everyone.β
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