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insidemymessymentalmind

Xander getting squirted by Sooty.

Pointless Celebrities S10 E34 - Kids TV

panelshowsource

mypointlessfriendrichard

Richard Osman on The Douglas Anderson Show

For @nivcharayahel

insidemymessymentalmind

Pointless Celebrities Series 10 epi 29 - Arts And Culture

Drawings Of Films.

All art © Richard Osman Productions

insidemymessymentalmind

No one ships Richard and Xander as much as Richard himself.

hunglikearainbow

Why Pointless is Best

I love Pointless; here is part of why:

It’s a gameshow, for those who don’t know, hosted by the adorably bromantic Zander and Richard, but my late-night fantasies about those two aren’t the focus here.

Today there was a category about statues of famous people the contestants had to identify. Those were the words used. We’re going to show you statues of famous people, identify them please.

Five statues. All women. Not one or two as a token, all women. And they weren’t even specified as famous women. Just famous people. I even tried to convince myself one of the statues was a man because I couldn’t believe they would do that.

Well played, Pointless.

insidemymessymentalmind

One of the few times Xander does a joke about he and Richard being married. Normally it’s Richard who’s first out of the gate.

joannechocolat

This sign, outside Ribs & Bibs in Botanic, has caused something of a stir. People on Twitter and TripAdvisor have already (and quite rightly) complained.

The owners responded immediately, berating the PC brigade and claiming it was just a “witty sign”, not “something in the papers.”

But here’s the thing. It’s not funny. If domestic abuse wasn’t at an all-time high, it still wouldn’t be funny. But one in four women in the UK (that’s far more than male victims) are affected by domestic violence. It’s the number 1 cause of death for women between 18 and 25. A woman dies every three days as a result of an attack by a partner, or ex-partner. Any kind of normalizing of belittling of those facts - and that includes making fun of them - is likely to make abusers feel that other men are on their side; that what they’re doing isn’t wrong; that it’s part of the natural order of things.

The little sign on the chalkboard is filled with hidden meanings.

1. It’s a “joke” between guys, for guys. It automatically targets men by making women feel excluded. Women won’t feel comfortable there, because the sign outside the door ridicules the idea that they deserve physical safety. It’s manipulative (like many abusers), by pretending to be a joke - but under the joke there’s something else, something even more sinister.

2. It’s a call of solidarity to men. Men like meat, yeah, know whatta mean? Hyuck-hyuck-hyuck. We like cheap meat, and we refer to our partners as “the wife”, the way we would “the job” or “the car”, because we’re all buddies together. And we know it isn’t politically correct, but in our safe, masculine, meat-eating space, we can make jokes about beating our wives, and get away with it, in the name of “wit”, and “irony”, because we’re confident no other man will step in and say: “Excuse me, I don’t feel comfortable being here, where men can makes jokes about violence.”

Imagine if a man did that.

No really: go on. imagine it. Because in that kind of environment, a woman complaining about sexism will just feed into the myth that women can’t take a joke. In that kind of environment, a man’s word - speaking out against men - is heard more than a woman’s. And that’s why men need to protest, too; to refuse to be associated with the kind of guy who thinks violence against women is funny. It’s an insult to any decent man to be associated with the men who do. And not all men are abusers: but it’s not enough not to be an abuser any more. Men have to actively refuse to be complicit in this boys’ club. They need to speak out. They need to stand up. They need to (forgive the phrase) man up. Because no man should accept to be an enabler of abuse. And arch little “jokes” like this one are asking them to do just that.

Oh, yes, it’s just a sign. But it’s a sign of the times, and if we want the times to change, we all have to call out this kind of thing - all of us, people of all genders - before the rot spreads any further.

insidemymessymentalmind

😏😏😏

aiweirdness

Don’t use a neural network to name your next pub

The King’s Arms. The Bell and Bucket. The Black Bull Inn. The Beggar’s Bridge. A pub’s name is part of its soul, often highly unique, often hundreds of years old, often with a story behind it. A simple computer program couldn’t hope to give a proper name to a pub. But what if it tried?

Timothea Armour asked me to find out, as part of a project called “The Last Hour!” on the cultural peculiarities of pubs, commissioned by Collective, a gallery in Scotland. I’ve been training a type of computer program called a neural network to generate names for all kinds of things - guinea pigs, craft beers, and paint colors. Neural networks are a bit different from regular computer programs: In the usual kind of computer programming, a human invents rules that a computer has to follow. With neural networks, however, the human only gives the computer some examples to learn from, and the computer invents its own rules about how to make more examples.

Timothea gave me a list of 1,053 pubs from the northeast of England from a database compiled by Colin Anderson, and I fed these names into an open-source neural network framework.

After just a little bit of time training, the neural network had made some progress - after all, it starts with no idea of whether it’s supposed to be generating prose or musical notation or Finnish grocery lists. It had to form its own rules about capitalization, and line breaks, and which letters go with which other letters. And these names - well, some of them - are already identifiable as possibly pub-like, though at this stage none of them are usable.

Euceseeettigwtird Arms Tea Posh Basei Innery Ga iral Ferk Thod Inn Inn Darn Funk Inn Alan Ars Swoos Loveles Noms Lick Aams Tteat Armharoh Hams Olk Ars Hotle Moveam Treee Slamlongs Arms Roll Brrew keg Arme Horel Booge Houne Arse Inn Tumen Poodes Cavel Coundor Horse Baak Hotey Bead Inn Fl Wlofler Arms Oleetrar Moor Corore oad Bite & Chuts Wotee Vonehscon Cresks Arms

After the neural network has looked through the list of names about 11 times, it has made a bit more progress. These mostly sound like pub names, though there’s definitely still something off about them.

Tostars Inn Liad Cush House Blawky Arms Stons Of Horse Blaksigth Arms Whistle Plan Hotel Bracken of Crovn Coksarnss Hotel Vulck fod Lick Bool House Many Inn Horshy Ban Crownreal Top Drock of Conshersland Prickhomidd Arms Bill Inn Dhodalgoat Hotel Facg Manf Hell Hotel

By 17 times through the dataset, the neural network still doesn’t quite have the knack for this.

Whoneas Grey Hotel Hotel Hotel Trlety Eln’s Arms Phite Meathord Green Head Hotel Bhickloy Farp Arms Wharberb Bark Hirlamion Crapy Grile & Fumthorse Male Dora Rey Ofe White Bear Pivsing Jambork Hotel Cumperlel Watersy Head Ox Cadder Inn Bar of El Carhey Orb Boak Hotel Inn Whee Blinf Plowde Tree Bleak Clad Angely Arms

By 21 times through the dataset, the neural network has shown some signs of improvement, but most of the names still need work.

Elden Mens Collick Inn King Brad Inn Load Hotel Torn House Inn Rob Inn Thanes of Lampel Gurn uf Staneton Hell Garled Blorge Roods Cocket Horn Blawde Inn House Inn Tivern Got Blewe Wot n Arms Hotel Arm Savers

The names eventually get more consistently pronounceable, and very occasionally, even believable. But mostly, they’re a bit substandard. At this stage, the neural network has had 35 tries at the original dataset, and still thinks “Bill” is a pretty good name for a pub.

Green Green Frown Arms Plucksick Bill Horse Long Bog Lede Lick Hotel Farter Inn Ports Bean Fin Dune The Beelly Gam Tha Dlee Fark House Phan House Naw Old Mess Now and Inn Fripy Whee Bore Inn Ladside Inn Hogs Thee Inn Shur Hiad House Hotel Hotel Old Ash Ox Horse Inn Bleak Clab Bark Inn Blisksmerd Shorthood Rat Horses Wheee Travel Sham New Shins Ferp’s Brel

Forty times through the dataset, and it also has not relented on its odd preference for rude-sounding names. The pubs of northeast England are in general a lot more innocuous than this.

F'ing Hotel The Gland Greene Old Farders Arms King Shams Bliyffinge The Blande Tree Blink Bear Gole Clown Hotel Hall of Sprong Firdwock Hotel Dur & Thimpers Dorty Hounds Phage Farm Ox Kings Kingfarter Mantle

I’m not even trying here. As the neural network progresses in its training, the proportion of terrible pub names only increases.

Bollock Hotel Flee Sun Farm Pubber Arms Blanding Weed Willey Farters Red Hotel F Kings Moldy Goine Pant Cabber Hell Castle Stan Crown & Three Hotel Grey Trip

Now that the neural network has gone through the dataset a hundred times, I can only conclude: don’t use a computer to name your next pub.

Belle Inn Crow’s Rest Mingside Arms Crown & Fathous Stonebredde Arms Old Festerlan Burn Horse Hotel Doss of Wulling of Stank Shore’s Castle Crustle Hotel Lick Inn Odd Lingwion Lambles Loons Hall Thringeron Arms Flint Horse The All House Dean & Funtling Old Hell Kick Jolly Trocks Wallow Arms

Were there worse names that I didn’t include here? You bet there were. There are two ways to see them: 1) After Sept 22, 2017, look for the “Last Hour!” newspaper in pubs all over Edinburgh, Scotland, where you can find a version of this article that includes the rudest names as well. 2) Follow this link and I’ll email those names to you now. They’re quite rude, though.