So, I've been going through a rough time. I would argue that tue last 3 years or so of my life has been a rough time, but I'll just focus on recently. I'll also note I am diagnosed and medicated for anxiety.
So for the last year and a half I'd say, I've been in a polyamourous relationship with my partner of 7 years, and our new partner we introduced to the relationship. We've all been living together for much of this year and half. Recently, it was found our new partner is unhappy and wishes to leave the relationship but still remain friends. I'm fine with this, I see no issue with remaining friends, and I don't feel anything unforgivable has happened.
But its still a break up, and still sucks for all involved. We're all 3 upset to varying degrees and handling it differently.
Both of my long-term partner and now ex-partner have said to me on separate occasions that I don't seem bothered or I'm just "floating though" what's happening.
I've been thinking about this alot and I've realized that very few people have ever witnessed me have an anxiety or mental health episode. When a shitty or traumatic situation happens, I feel it's my responsibility to put on a neutral face and just let everyone else play out their emotions.
Only if I'm alone, or the situation has played out and started to revert to a "new normal" if you will, do I then process or look back on what happened or how I've felt.
I lock the emotions or response down while I'm around other people, and only let myself feel my feelings completely alone. Even when there are other people around who can relate to what's happening.
Update, I broke up with them both and moved 4 hours away to start my villain era in a new city.
