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@xandreblueshifted-blog
Alone with starlight
I see stars
dripping
like drops of rain
tripping
the mist of a waterfall
gathering
at the periphery of my thoughts...
forever I feel
falling
prisms of light
stalling
a flicker of life
calling
then fading, fading, fading
like a memory
cascading
and all that remains
is myself looking
pleading
to take me on the boat
receding leaving me behind
alone
but now I'm part of you
an echo in the valley of your soul
-Sebastian Alexandre.
Anthropic Principle
"Anthropic Principle: the principle/idea that the universe 'seems' ideally suited for life."
It does 'seem' that way, until you leave the atmosphere and wander into a million other things out there that can kill us. The constants of our universe does allow for life to exist but in no way guarantees it. Being born does not guarantee you will procreate and have offspring, it just means it's possible.
Earth hit the lottery several times since mankind evolved to discard hand-axes and pick up other hand-held devices like I-phones. We hold a very auspicious and yet still precarious place in our solar system, but the die could have rolled many hundreds of ways and may yet still where a less sentient or even more sentient species could have taken our place as masters of the planet.
Arrogance and Hubris walk hand in hand with extinction. When we become to proud of ourselves, we open the door to oblivion. We needn't walk with absolute humility, but we must respect that life is impossibly precious and that universe, no matter how tailor made, is completely apathetic to our existence. The universe allows for life, but doesn't guarantee its ascendancy nor its survival. That's our responsibility as a sentient species.
my philosophical thought for the day. :P Take it or leave it. Writing it does not guarantee the message will be delivered, only that the effort was made.
a careless thought, spurned but unshaken committed to its task undisturbed finally resolved, penned to word unmistaken unspoken, but internally heard
what chances the thought like a virus might spread disregarded, unobserved, and forgotten brought back up by less mitigated circumstance repeated with untold consequence and expired retired evolved, more inspired than the moment in which it was first conceived.
Cold light cold night scattered, mirrored, glance in shadow reflections from far away earthly secrets appear and sway nothing hidden can manage to stay nor to rest where angels and devils play starry eyes alight distant cold ageless light no rivers fall from the glance nothing stays forever in trance all must choose to fade or dance forever upon this stage
When we look into each others eyes, we will never see the person before us but every person they had ever known that made an impression on them.
not all that quoth should be noted, remembered or forgotten; dreamed away, or in hasted context lost from thee.
like sands, left be, made into castles of and trodden upon in blissful mindless reverie.
tis all but sand in an endless hourglass of regrets and memories. all that ever was and shall ever be shall come to pass, in spite of warned pleas,
cast adrift into the void like a message in a bottle cast out onto the sea. thus quoth shall pass unheard, forgotten trodden upon endlessly.
tis all in vain, life in vain, synapses fire, going, disappearing lost to me.
and to now forgot, and lost, oblivion craved, depraved, but desired; all hope is lost. it was all but a dream. Elysium, not meant for thee.
Eyes see but not understand ears hear, but not listen read, but not understood insight gained but lost in perplexion
can not be communicated can not be warned to the garden like sheep of anti-edan.
The garden of flame shall reap all that remained in deepest sleep.
No chirping of insects no singing of birds no soft deep grazing all lost without a word.
Lions abound but make no sound the gods gasped in horror "what have we wrought?" man answered, "Naught."
The garden of flame shall reap all that remained in deepest sleep.
Empty things we miss Take Nihilism's embrace warm rapture in void
Bound but Hungry for You
See this dragon here on a chain, a coil about his neck was placed, ne'er he knew for what it's gain, when metal first did bite in embrace.
A symbol, this thing that binds me, a measure to which also releases me, control me, tease me, order me, feed me, I am bound but hungry for you. I am bound to you
See him lower his head, obey eyes ever cast upon you, he hides a feeling that stirs and empowers, betray? No, such secret fires in me confides
A talisman you bore upon me, a treasure to which submits me, taunt me, abuse me, love me, feed me, I am bound but hungry for you I am bound to you
I wrote this some time ago. Submission, not in the BDSM sense, but more that willing submission to love; the talisman a ring, a token, a promise.
Alexandre Sainte
Two Kinds of Pain
Lets quickly dispense with the first as we all know it well enough. You fall, skin your knee, get a bump on the head, or if you’ve seen combat or been in such an environment where you’ve been stabbed or shot as well. It’s a pain and type of pain every single one of us is familiar with. Sometimes it comes so quickly like a shot, a car accident, or with an adrenaline rush with a stab that at first we don’t feel or even realize something is wrong or amiss, but after, we feel every second, with every beat of our heart.
Sometimes, if we’re very lucky, we heal perhaps completely and with no more to show for it than an interesting scar. For some, the pain never completely heals; you just learn to block a bit more of it day by day. There are hundreds of pain drugs and derivatives, each with their own risks. Some work, marginally, but create their own complications. I’ll go no further here as I have no further opinion other than it seems more lucrative to treat than cure, but that’s a debate I have nothing to contribute to.
Then there is the other class of pain. Emotional pain, or sometimes called pain of the heart. Ironically, we may feel the pain in our chests, but the origin of it lies in our brain. We’ve all had broken hearts, had our love spurned, or have been cast aside for another. We’ve lost people or pets that we loved dearly and there is nothing that can fill that void.
There is no treatment, no cure, no remedy for many of us. Just like physical wounds, in time most will heal but the body can stitch together skin faster than it can a broken heart. We can love again, we can learn to trust again, but for many of us the wounds are far deeper. Love can be a balm, but only a balm. Some find their solution in faith, but that can only help a superstitious mind. Some just hope. I find hope an empty glass; it looks promising and you invest yourself in it, but when you finally bring it to your lips, its bittersweet.
I can laugh, I can cry, but I don’t understand happiness. I don’t understand joy. I know what the words mean, but they are only words with no substance to me. I can feel love and have felt love many times, but love is not happiness, it’s not joy, and love may beat in my heart for a few moments and then the longing that follows, but none of these things last. I can see beauty and appreciate beauty, but I feel nothing in possessing of it and most times prefer not to. Possession leads to the witness of decay.
I’m a peaceful person, I abhor violence, and I can empathize. I detest being rude and will often chastise myself for hours if I believe I have been. It pains me to believe I may cause pain.
I didn’t want this to be about me, but for others that may understand my point of view. Some of us are just broken toys, but even broken toys can bring happiness even if they themselves can never experience it.
Cherry Blossom Fantasy
Her name was Cherry Blossoms they were falling in her hair in a long time distant memory in a land I can't place where
seems like it was only yesterday when we were dancing through the trees she was my friend and more and I adore every single memory
-- It was a beautiful spring time that too quickly turned fall all I hold are these memories did they happen at all?
just a character in a perfect dream but only until December all that remained was that primal ember a fire that once and never was but love it wasn't only just a dream --
Cherry blossom fantasy wish I could find that dream again been a long time since I held you will be longer than its been
I can hear your voice calling to me from those forests where we played from where the darker wood where we once stood to the clearings where we laid
Only you (aren't there)
She dances with me, Dancing in my dreams, Each breath and moment deliberately,
Looking in my eyes with intent but hope Lips curl to a smile affectionately,
Eyes close as we embrace Hearts melt feelings we chase
I reach to her kiss As lips press, I miss
She eludes me, She deludes me, Lowers my defenses I come to my senses
I kiss the air There's no one there Only you Only you (aren't there) - whispered
Shadows walk she smiles flickers the candle its all in my mind Always there for me
Her Ghost, my Love, Lay not at my Side
She lay not at my side. Her head rests not near mine when I sleep. I close my eyes and dream the song of her words to life. Yet she lay not at my side.
Upon the warm humid streets below, overlooking the tenement lodgings, quaint, surreal, and lifeless; a fog shifts and moves to the gentle pressing eddies of wind my mind wanders and sees us hand in hand, dancing upon the waves. Memories past, they remain but not as sand in the glass Love is forever, but life’s not meant to last
Her hand in mine, my heart in hers our lips pressed softly as moist unyielding rose petals a forsworn rapture of sun and moonlit promises of eternal love spoken promises from worlds apart
Gazing into the shadow draped endless electric blue voids of her eyes I see not the visage crafted by anothers fantasy real or of some half remembered dream just the cerebral, shadowed, soft spoken words gathered an empirically rehearsed verse, delivered smooth and unwavering with intent. deigned, crafted, delivered, and divined a promise of love forever entwined
...emotion set forth deliberate
...word spoken and celebrated
...understood and acknowledged
...returned fully with the same intent as it was received
She lay not at my side. Her head rests not near mine when I sleep. I close my eyes and dream the song of her words to life. Yet she lay not at my side.
Near as a heart beat, it rests. Close as a whisper, spoken tangible as emotion Real as word.
And for the moment she is there conjured by illusion of love and she lay close at my side now her heart beats surely as mine own.
Immortal, now, everlasting. She need not be real at all, I’ll need never see the shade of her again. The essence of her carries me to endless sleep and close my eyes at the foot of her grave
Spell crafted, once, twice, thrice, upon the candle spliced a drop of life’s blood to seed, so now the deed is done to dance forever in the night ne’er again by the suns lost light
Is anybody out there?
Calling out into the void... Is anybody out there. Only the emptiness responds. In the sound of my own voice. Echoing.…
Is anybody out there? More empty than mine own. No light to guide me home. No path to follow but mine own. Alone.
Is anybody out there? I am. I look into the direction of the voice... I am here. I walk towards. Nothing to guide me but the voice.
I am here. Another than another cries out. I am here. Confused. I stand my ground.
Is anybody out there? Perhaps it was only a dream. I am here. Is anybody out there?
I feel her arms wrap around me. Tempting and tantalizing. Warm but I shirk away. It was but a phantasm. I know I am not alone.
But still I wonder and I call out
Is anybody out there?
- Alexandre Sainte
Away with us he’s going, The solemn-eyed: He’ll hear no more the lowing Of the calves on the warm hillside Or the kettle on the hob Sing peace into his breast, Or see the brown mice bob Round and round the oatmeal chest. For he comes, the human child, To the waters and the wild With a faery, hand in hand, For the world’s more full of weeping than he can understand.
W. B. Yeats
Time to update the official Scorecard:
Niko - 9 --breakdown for you sports fans-- 4 black eyes 3 bloodied noses 1 severely bruised right femur
TODAY: TKO; ran between my legs which caused me to stumble, then he turned around and pounced me. I'm not a weak man, I lift weights every day (dumbbells). Winded and dazed, I opened my eyes to find him sitting on my chest licking my face. Niko's way of saying "Yeah I just kicked your butt and you know it! I get treat now?" Of course he does. HE won. He cheated, but.. nah, no one will ever believe that, he totally took me out fair and square.
Daddy - 0 --breakdown for you sports fans-- we wrestle and due to my strength and the pounds I've put on, I can 'usually' tackle him down. This really means he lets me win and we both know it. Obviously, got to be careful so that means I grab him then fall on my back to take the brunt. He gets a kick out of it and always tries to find a way to provoke me to wrestle... but Niko... he doesn't play fair.
:) He's my good boy.
----- You know, when I brought him home, puppy, he was so small that he fit in my hat. Whole Vizslas; napped in my hat on the way home. Now.. he dreams of carrying me around in his hat.
Yeah, I had no idea he would become that big of a dog, but considering his paws were nearly as big as his head when I got him, probably should have clued me in that he would grow into them.
Simple Subtle Seductive Sinews
simple subtle seductive sinews softly sharing sullen tissues flexing caressing as it extends my arms and fingers to make loving amends Loving lavishing liquid in its alacrity dexterously coursing through my vessels accurately giving life to heart and brain shedding thoughts like drops of rain ever changing as moods in the night holding lovers kiss with delight heart pounding with each tender caress as fingers dance shaking in duress your skin beneath mine so tender and willing your breath at my neck.. chilling