Time-Lost Golden Boy

Rp blog for Xavier An'Diel (Former Sunshadow). Former Blood Knight, half-elf Tanari and Sin'dorei. Sassy snarky golden boy. WRA.

[reh-hateshumans]

[xavier-sunshadow]

Countdown

"We're dead."

Xavier couldn't deny what his sister said, staring at elf on the bed across from him. They both had sat down once the blond had gotten Ari a bed for the evening, and neither had said a word to the other since they'd gotten the stairs, one agonizing step at a time. At last, Ari cleared his throat, sipping from the water bottle Xavier had given him.

"So." he began.

Xavier did not interrupt him, gold eyes narrowing faintly as he waited.

"So thanks. For uh...saving me. I'm sorry, for the pain I caused you. I didn't know what else to do." Ari continued, ears lowering in a motion that was painfully familiar to Xavier.

"You're a dragon." Xavier finally spoke up. "A Bronze dragon. Ari...I...how long?"

Ari raised a brow. "How long have I been a dragon? Usually that starts when you're born, but there have been ca-"

"Cut the shit! How long have you known about me? How long...were you going to just wait until something catastrophic happened and then tell me?! You've been...I've.." Xavier couldn't help the tears that came to him, his words choked off. "Ari, you've been with me since I can remember being here in this place. Before I even knew my family, all I had was you. What...how long?"

Ari watched him, mouth in a grim line as he forced himself not to reach out to the blond. "Since that first training session, when we were given our first spell." he admitted quietly. "Your magic didn't act like any Light magic I'd ever seen. At first I thought it was simple arcane, but when I watched closer I realized...it was like my own magic."

Xavier trembled as he listened, swallowing thickly. "I was ten." his voice cracked and he grimaced. "Ari, I was ten how...you've known since then? How did you let me...why did you let me train as a Knight? Why didn't you stop me?"

Ari frowned "I had no reason to. You were focused on becoming a Knight and using the Light. I was already pretending to use the Light with some easy glamour spells, and they were easy enough to put on your own magic. I didn't want to out you, chronomancy isn't exactly looked at very kindly and especially for a kid who appeared in the forest in the middle of a storm with no memory, I knew they'd probably kill you." he sighed, thin shoulders drooping. "I didn't know who you were, I never pried into your history, or your timelines, where you could go or where you might stop. Not...not until you got your memories back. I knew I had to protect you in new ways after that."

The blond stared at him, very obviously not believing him. Ari sighed, ears lowering as he just rested back amongst his pillows. "Xavi'arasan please, you have to know I don't...I wouldn't have done that to you. All of this, if I had known? I wouldn't have let you go through that."

Xavier just stared silently at him, but as angry as he was, as much as he wanted to rage at the other...he knew Ari was telling the truth. He took a deep breath, gold eyes flaring a bit as he built up his determination.

"I believe you." he started. "But that doesn't change anything. Ari, you're a Bronze dragon. I don't really understand what happened with my father or the An'Diel line but Bronze flight doesn't like us, in a we would be wiped out of the timeline if they can get ahold of us type thing, at least that's how my father acts. Me being able to use time magic was always a point of contention, is and will always be a point of contention for him. He...Ari he was actually worried about me when all this came out to him. I've never seen him worry about me before." Xavi's ears drooped, and he finally looked away. It was a coward's way, but he couldn't say his next part staring into the face of his best friend.

"You can stay here as long as you need, I'll be by every day to make sure you eat and get better. I'll ask Lady Mirin and Uncle Shae to come check on you when I can't be here. But.." he swallowed hard, steeling his resolve. "When you're well enough, you have to go. Back to Silvermoon, somewhere else, anywhere that's away from me and my family. Mai and Eilonwy already have to lie for you, and I'm sure others will too. If Kurel asks them something, they'll have to lie to him or you'll die and...I can't ask that of the entire Harbor, Ari. I can't."

Ari tensed, ears pinning back into his scruffy unkempt locks. He had had a suspicion ever since Kurel had threatened that he wouldn't be allowed in the Harbor until someone the large Tanari male trusted made sure 'he isn't a dragon', but to hear it from the blond's mouth crushed him. He swallowed, looking away as well to hide the destroyed look on his face, eyes closing as he willed down the tears that threatened to come.

They sat that way for a long time, neither able to look at the other. Finally Xavier stood, taking a quick breath. "Get some rest. I'll be back in the morning to check on you." he hesitated, before finally looking at Ari. The dark haired elf looked utterly despondent, and it killed him to know he had caused it. He almost wanted to take his words back, but the apology and denial stuck in his throat. Kurel would never trust him again, if he went back on this.

He forced himself once more steel his resolve. "I'm glad you're back, Ari. I really am." he said quietly, before leaving the room, making sure the door was locked with a soft click of the key.

[bludragongal]

Some Shipping Dynamics from Twitter!

[bludragongal]

Glad you guys like these! Here’s an additional note for the last one:

(Bonus points if the evil figure is the one who gave them the box in the first place.)

[givemetheopensea]

shadows gather

Five years ago 

“Logan, we gotta fuckin’ go.”

Every hair on the back of Logan’s neck stood on end as the torches went out. “Aye, we gotta fuckin’ go is righ’...” He unlatched a grenade and tossed it forward, the explosion loud but the light from it letting him see the doorway. “This way!” The shadows shrieked and chittered at the explosion, the blessed grenade pulverizing some but there were just… So many.

Logan felt claws on his arm and back, grasping, not cutting. “Keep movin’ Dillie...” The captain soon might feel the same, the overwhelming number of appendages grasping at the pair starting to feel like drowning or being drug below the surface. “Gods… Can’… Ge’ em off… Can’ ge’ ah grenade…” Logan struggled and lashed out, trying to get enough room to loose another grenade.

The dark was wrapping around her, up her throat and up over her cheeks. Her grave would read ‘Died as she lived, making poor choices.’ The pair could struggle but would be unable to move, staring ahead into the darkness for a long few moments as they were pinned. Something like the skittering of spider limbs sounded out suddenly and a spark could be heard before a red flame engulfed the area, casting a shadow enriching light about the place. The massive spider centaur creature carried a man in it’s arms, which it set before the pair. The man himself was fairly scrawny, though tall, a lanky Kaldorei by the looks of him. Noticeably, his right arm was twisted into something all together more animalistic and shadow made, leaving him with claws for fine manipulation. “Did you come for the maker? Do you hear the voices too?" 

Dylan twisted against the darkness, feeling the cold embrace that went far deeper than the shadows. It was in her nature to fight to the bitter end.  When the thing spoke, she locked onto it. ”The Seven sent us. Let us go. We need to find the Maker. Let us go!“

”Do you have the book? Have you read his deeds? I would very much like to but I don’t know where the book is…“ The man with the shadowed arm cooed. Open the book Read of his deeds

Dylan felt a pang go through her head and she inhaled, shakily. She prayed that she was not about to make a stupid choice. ”I did no’ read it.. no. But I know who has it. An’ I can take you to it.“

By the time they reach The Blind King half the crew were on the deck with their hands on their pistols, wearily eyeing the twisted man their Captain and Quartermaster had brought abroad. There was a silence as thick as the stink of the men aboard, all eyes to Dylan waiting for a direction. 

“Tha’ fuck are you lot starin’ at, get undahway to Dead Sun! Move!” She shouted and all hopped to. That left her and Logan standing on the deck with their ‘guest’. “You can sleep in my quartahs, Mistah Neradaen. We’ll make sure you got all yah need.” 

She had caught the King’s boatswain by the arm and she pulled him in close to murmur, “He don’ leave watch. Two men at all time on him. Lo an’ I’s got tha ’first watch.”

For a day and a half, the wind hardly blew enough to get up to three knots. Dylan’s eyes were sunken on the horizon. “Tol’ Eilithe an’ Rev,” she said. 

“Aye?” Logan answered just as tired. 

“They ain’ like it– but I explained tha’ delicate situation we was in.” 

“An’?” 

“They still ain’ like it.” 

Logan flicked a cigar overboard and shook his head, wandering off to do whatever it was that he did to keep the King afloat. Dylan shook her head and let her gaze fall out on the deck where the shadowy man breathed in the ocean air. Like he was normal. 

Two more days of doldrums kept the ship barely moving and by then it had rotated back to Dylan’s watch. She was sat up against the wall of the cabin on a barrel, her feet propped up and hands folded on her stomach.  She was just about to sleep when Logan’s boots came stomping up to her. “Dylan wha’ tha’ fuck,” he whispered in more of a tone that was a yell. “You said explicit-like if is your watch you don’ leave, now I got half tha’ crew wanderin’ wha’ makes it so you’re exempt from tha’. It is dangerous, an’ has to be watched at all times. Tha’ is wha’ tha’ fuck you sa–” Her emerald eyes had gotten progressively more narrowed, before she waved her hand around, “Oi, wha’ in tha’ fuck are you screamin’ about. I did no’ have my eyes closed proper an’ my arse has been on this barrel, listenin’ to It in there chitterin’ and gigglin’. All night.”  Logan crinkled his nose, “Then how’s it square tha’ you was down in tha’ hull screamin’ at Mistah Greaves abou’ tha’ state of… all things..wood grain. You been drinkin’ too?”  Dylan stood up and exhaled in Logan’s face, though it was no more or less stinking of alcohol than usual. “I been here all night an’ I think you better remember whose fuckin’ ship you’re on before you accuse me othahwi-” In sync their heads turned to the Captain’s Cabin door. A quiet humming was interrupted by a question. Dylan and Logan peered through cracks in the door to watch the shadows move inside the cabin lit by a single candle.

“Who are you~” The shadow-man asked. 

“Captain Dylan Reed,” a shadow answered in a bastardized Kul Tiran drawl. It was by no means perfect– but a good enough copy that the poor Mister Greaves was fooled. And how many more could have been. 

Neradaen toyed with the shadowy locks that framed Dylan’s copy’s cheeks, “You will be the first of many, my sweet creation. The master will reward us when his majesty awakens.” 

One week ago

“Two elves is here to see yah Captain.” 

It was a wonder Eilithe An’Diel’s kids hadn’t put her in an early grave. Now the eldest came with his lover, seeking her and Logan’s council. She was disinterested until he presented her with a black rose set neatly in wooden box. The same rose tattooed on Logan’s back and over her left breast.  Xavier recounted the first time he’d seen them, Seven shadows impossibly tall. Seven shadows that declared themselves her wardens. Dylan had lived a life directed by the sea alone, before those Seven shadows chose her. 

”An’ wha’ abou’ tha second time? How was they positioned? Ya know, like One big fuckah, seven ah them, circle, semi-circle?“ Logan demanded in rapid succession. 

"Well the second time it was just the rose, they weren’t…there there. The rose flew at me and I had a vision. First it was the seven making the rose, then the second vision they were just sort of staring me down. They weren’t big tall robed figures it was like when they were training and doing magic before.” he replied, the memory flickering in his mind. “In Zin-Azshari, I think that’s what Zanashii and Mai said when I described the city.”

“Sounds like you saw tha’ Seven tha’ first time– and then got chosen tha’ secon’ go round,” Dylan said, almost as though she pitied him for this fact. 

”But…chosen for what?“

”Tha Seven is keepah’s ah tha gate. Tha gate tha’ holds back tha Dreameatah. They’s one and the same as tha keys. Was this guy, way back in them old elf days ya was talkin’ abou’. Tha Makah. He ain’ been seen in a long ass time bu’ he was tha one wha’ trained tha Seven and was tha one wha’ helped them or… Made them… Intah wha’ they is. Some othah bein’ like… How ya say i’ Cap'ain? Elevated them? Tah wha'evah demi-god state they is in now.“ Logan answered slowly.

”If ya chosen, then they gonna expec’ ya tah guard tha gate with ya life. An’ if ya don’ ansah tha call… They could snuff ya ou’ like a flame. Trus’ us… We been there.“

So choose careful, Xavier, son of Eilithe and Kurel An’Diel.

Five Years Ago 

Petals made of shadows twisted off Dylan’s skin until these was nothing left of her. The plan was simple and as poorly thought out as anything hatched by the pair of pirates. 

Corner the enemy.  Kill it. 

Neradaen had not started with Dylan’s copy, in fact she had been part of the creatures end game. Over the next two days following the discovery, two copies had been discovered– their original bodies naught to be found. Quietly, the deck was cleared and the hull rigged to blow. If Dylan and Logan failed, she’d sooner see The Blind King at the bottom of the sea than in the hands of a clone. 

Moving unseen, Logan opened the door and she entered first to see Neardaen’s back to the door. He seemed far too distracted with his scheming to notice them. 

Silent footfalls crept up on the creature until. 

“You cannot hide in the shadows, we are masters of it.” 

That was as good as ‘now’ as either one of them needed. Dylan burst with black petals and rushed Neradaen with two quick slashes. Logan was right behind her, going low to distract, with a cut to his legs. The back of the creature’s mal-formed arm struck Dylan hard enough that she cracked the wall she collided with, groaning. 

“I…will show you…excellence,” Neradaen said, thrusting the spiked arm at Logan’s throat. Two swords crossed to catch the arm but Logan’s opponent was strong. The rattling of metal came when Logan’s strength started to fail. “I unnno, mate. Feeling.. pretty.. fuckin’..excellent..already.” 

Dylan slipped a wire over Neradaen’s head in the split seconds he was distracted by Logan’s arrogance. When she pulled hard the creature gurgled and flailed. Dylan was latched on like a leech, even as he slammed her back into a window. “SHOOT THIS MOTHAHFUCKAH!” She screamed, breathless. 

BANG. 

Right in the chest. Neradaen’s face twisted and slowly slid down to the ground. “I…wanted to serve..I have served. Oh..master.. I–” A second shot went against his temple, this time from Dylan’s pistol.

It was quiet, save for the boots that came toward the cabin. All coming to inquire as to whether or not they’d be dying that night or another day. Dylan threw the body off her and spit right on it’s eye.  “The Order of the Black Rose sends it’s regard, you cunt.” 

@xavier-sunshadow​ @logan-derrington​ @eilitheduskbringer​ @revthepunchbear​

[xavier-sunshadow]

Lifetrap Test

Your primary feeling is one of pressure. You feel as if you can never relax and enjoy life. That you must always push to get ahead. For you, life is only doing. It is having to work or achieve all the time. You feel frustrated and irritated with yourself for not meeting your own high standards.

Physical stress is common with you. You may have headaches, digestion or bowel problems, as well as high blood pressure and/or insomnia. At root, you probably feel chronically angry, but with no apparent object to direct that anger towards. Instead of staying with that anger, you channel it outwards to your surroundings. Everything has to be perfect. You need to feel in control.

Most likely you are successful. But you rarely stop and enjoy your success. The balance between work and pleasure feels lopsided. You turn many forms of activity into work and it enslaves you. You seem to have lost touch with your basic self. You go through the motions, but no longer know what makes you happy.

One of your parents may have used shame or criticism when you failed to meet their high expectations. As an adult, you feel you cannot let go of your need for perfect order, achievement, or status. But your excessively high standards are in fact impinging on your quality of life. You are successful, but not fulfilled. You need to learn that you can lower your standards without feeling like a failure.

(Take this test here!)

[inkchantress]

tropes i will never get tired of

fake dating

omniscient narrator who immediately contradicts the characters (“This is fine,” she said. It was, in no way, shape, or form, fine.)

deadpan jokes while swordfighting

the “I FUCKING LOVE MY WIFE” guy

oblivious pining that slowly escalates until A is going on page rants about how pretty B’s eyes are but still doesn’t seem to recognize they’re in love

Strong Leader Type having to physically fall down in order for the other characters to see how exhausted they are

funny villains who talk and make jokes with their heroes while they’re fighting them

the villains presented as the protagonists

*increasingly pulls out bigger and bigger weapons from more unlikely places*

“I said all of your weapons” *pulls out more*

“ALL OF THEM” *pulls out one last tiny dagger*

traumatized character using humor to cover up ptsd

characters going out for a break at a restaurant/movie/whatever and something bad happening

using the “*gasp* what’s that over there???” trick to avert the enemy’s attention and it working

a villain’s weakness being something totally random and nonsensical

a hero duo arguing over who’s the sidekick while fighting a villain

“don’t be silly, we don’t need [important thing]”  “you lost it, didn’t you?”  “yeah”

“what’s the one thing I told you not to do tonight?”  “raise the dead”   “and what did you do?”  “raised the dead”

“I think that went pretty well” *explosion in the distance*

[rebloggingwrittingadvice]

This right here is a serotonin generator

[edgar-allan-possum]

Something unlikely happening + two people swapping money in the background

[xavier-sunshadow]

Awaken

“Little light, save us, you have to save us.” *drip* “She’s going to abandon you.” “She pities you.” *drip*  “They’re all happier without you.” Her scream ripped through his mind, sending him back to that moment when he was nine and she shoved a cube in his hand and told him to save them all.  He watched as his friends tore apart his father, a massive hulking monster, all he could do was hold him still, the magic swirling around him and into the beast as they ripped his father to nothing.  “Save us.” “I promise, I’ll bring them home.” His sword kissed her neck, if it hadn’t been for Bengal he would have...he could have... *drip drip drip drip* “MAI!” Xavier jerked up, eyes wide as he lunged nearly out of the cot he was on, panting harshly as pain suddenly lanced through him at the same time hands pushed him back. He struggled weakly, he couldn’t even see who was touching his bare skin (when had he lost his shirt?) and his eyes didn’t feel like they were working, everything blurry and malformed, shades of grey and sparks of gold in a confusing coalescing mess.  “Xavi, hey it’s okay...it’s okay...just lay back. You cracked your ribs. Shh.”  The voice didn’t soothe, but the exhaustion pulled him down again. He didn’t want to sleep, he could still remember the pained face on Mairdrin, the gaping stomach wound on Rev...Eilithe face down and Kurel not moving.  “A-Are they..you have to tell me..” He tried, tongue feeling fat in his mouth.  “Shh, they’re all here. Kurel and Eilithe and Reveria are resting. Your family is safe.” the voice assured him, a cool hand moving along his forehead that made him want to cry, and made him think of Ari.  Dead on an altar, you left him, you left him there.  “Mairdrin. Where’s...”  The hand tensed, and his heart sunk, but it continued it’s path down to his chest to fix the bandages he’d no doubt fucked up by jerking and moving so much.  “He’s resting. He’s alive. They’re all alive Xavier. Just rest...you can see them when you wake up again.” He wanted to argue, to tell the voice he didn’t want to sleep, that he wanted to see them, that he had to prove to himself the promise to his sister was really completed...that this wasn’t another part of the maze, that they weren’t still stuck there in the water while chains crushed them and Eilithe tried to kill them and he... The sword moved towards her neck, he had every intention of killing her. “Rest...it’s over. It’s over.” Xavier’s eyes slid closed once more, despite himself wanting to stay awake. It wasn’t over, he wanted to argue. He could feel the exhaustion and darkness claim him again. It wasn’t... He plunged his sword into her stomach, the beast screeching in pain. Only this time...she didn’t have legs, and they weren’t in the maze, and his aunt stared at him in shock and pain as the light faded from her eyes. Around her, a voice echoed, Eilthe’s, then Rev’s. Kurel’s whisper, and then another.  Son of Time *drip* ( @eilitheduskbringer @kurel-andiel @revthepunchbear )

[xavier-sunshadow]

Patroclus

You are Patroclus, from the Iliad by Homer, doomed by fate to be stuck in a love story that has no place on the battlefield. although you always have the best intentions, you have to realize you cannot save everyone. your unwavering loyalty means you often lose yourself in the process of putting others first. take a deep breath, remember who you are, and that you are deserving of the same love you try to put out. you are kind, you are strong, and you give and you give but it is never enough to protect those you love. in the end, it's not even enough to protect yourself. Tagged by: @eilitheduskbringer​ Thank you I love this! 

[worldsavinggenius]

[xavier-sunshadow]

@eilitheduskbringer

[xavier-sunshadow]

The blond elf stopped, raising a brow. He then laughed softly to himself as he watched the bum wander off, wiping bits of apple off his shirt as he grinned. “Didn’t know I’d won that much gold off them.”  It stung just a little, but he’d worked to ignore the sting of rejection and the feeling of loss with Kurel for so long he’d made it to a place that he felt confident with himself. Kurel loved him in his own weird Kurel way, and Eilithe loved him out loud and proud, really if anyone decided to throw ‘your parents don’t love you’ in his face, he’d gotten to where he could just shrug it off, because it wasn’t true...but how some weirdo bum in the middle of Stormwind had heard this was beyond him.  “Time to go see if Mai actually wrote me out of the will.” Xavier told himself as he turned his wanderings towards the Tea House. 

[fuckyeahstvincent]

[xavier-sunshadow]

A Soft Heart

Eilithe’s words rang heavy in his mind as Xavier walked through the forest of Elwynn, before sighing and just going home. The burning anger he felt over his feelings just being dismissed. The anger and sorrow he felt at being told if he ever had to, to kill them...his parents. The accusation that he had abandoned his sister and that his uncle had tried to take her...or was going to try and take her? 

Xavier grumbled and grabbed a small glass dragon, gripping it tight and directing a single thought. 

I need to talk to you.

With that he fell into bed, tossing and turning before at last sleep took him, and darkness settled in. Since becoming who he was, Xavier had always had the same four dreams, outside of his visions. Usually one began with him in the scorching desert, another him lost in a port he did not recognize, but tonight was his least favorite: the ship. It was always the same, he would awaken and find himself on the deck of a ship being thrown by impossibly huge waves. There was crew, he could hear them shrieking and trying to save the ship while above all hell came from the clouds in sheets of rain and zapping green lightning. However he felt the tug just as the front of the ship went under, and quite suddenly he found himself in a warm room, sitting on a bench with the one person he wanted to speak to next to him. 

Ari looked at him, raising a brow as he handed him a towel. “You alright?” 

Xavier took it, opening his mouth to say the words he always said. ‘I’m fine’ resting on his tongue. It felt even more heavy than usual, a sour taste in his mouth, and as he looked into the brown eyes of his best friend, he sighed. 

“No.” he finally answered. 

The dark haired Sin’dorei frowned, moving to scooch and put an arm around his friend. “Come on Xavi...spill it.” he encouraged gently.

And so Xavier did, leaning against his friend as he told him of the interaction with Eilithe. How angry her words had made him, how confused he was. 

“And then she just storms off, leaving me with that! Gods it made me wish I’d taken my stupid cowardly self and done what I’d planned to do.” He finished, fists clenching.  

Ari frowned, just holding Xavier closer as his friend trembled. He had to be careful, as angry as he was sometimes on how Xavier’s family was just...ridiculously anti-emotion, he knew the blond would never forgive himself if something actually happened. He sighed, nuzzling the top of his head gently. 

“Okay...let’s take it from the top yeah? She was obviously worried about you, and you told her you’d been planning to run away...so she got mad because she was scared.” he started. 

“Great, because I’m not allowed to have feelings, I’m not allowed to be upset or grieve or...or...”

“Try to run away and erase your memories because you felt too much?” Ari sighed, looking at his friend in the face. “You didn’t even tell her that part, but you know I hated it and she would have probably punched you.” 

Xavier scowled, he knew the other elf was right but he still wasn’t ready to let go of his ball anger and hurt. “So what, I’m just supposed to survive like they do? Act like feelings don’t matter? That I’m just supposed to go on like nothing happened again and again, even if I lose the ones I love? Desert’s not meant for love, desert isn’t meant for feelings...gotta be hard Xavri’asan, can’t have feelings or care except you need to be loyal and care about this one part but oh don’t care too much so you can just fucking kill your family when you’re minorly inconvenienced!” By now he had gotten up to pace, working himself into an absolute frenzy. “How do I counter that? How do I even deal with the fact that I’m this bleeding heart useless feeling mess when everyone else is just...what, dead inside? Did they trade their feelings to a fel’s damned Loa or something? Should I just go march right back to that troll and trade mine just to fit in? Maybe she can just kill me so I don’t have to do this anymore because I’m tired, Ari, I’m fucking tired of feeling like I’m two seconds from shattering and no one cares.” 

Ari took a small breath, and had to turn from his ridiculously melodramatic idiot to roll his eyes, counting silently to ten before he could continue. 

“Xavier...loyal, soft hearted, feelings as big as Azeroth herself...you’re being an idiot.” He said, holding up a hand to cut off the next tirade the blond was about to throw at him. “You feel way too much, and yeah you’re kinda naive with some of this stuff and absolutely you need to get your emotions in check but she didn’t say what she did because she wants you to be like your father, or those other hard hearted men in your lives...she wanted you to remember your responsibilities. You have a responsibility to your siblings, your feelings aren’t invalid they just...have to be felt in conjunction with the fact you’ve got other lives depending on you.” 

Xavier winced, trying to hold onto his righteous anger, but it was fading into what it really was that was eating at him: guilt and confusion. He sighed, slumping back down onto the bench, ears wilting. Ari moved to sit beside him, looking at the floor. “If you wouldn’t have felt insanely guilty you would’ve just come back to the Knights when you thought they were dead...you would have turned your back on your sisters and brother and the Harbor...but instead you went and made a stupid deal with, luckily for us, a very smart Seer who let you grieve and see your mistake, but you planned to strip away your guilt by losing all your memories. The guilt you feel now? You earned that...but you didn’t do it, so you have to accept that guilt and move on to what’s really bothering you. So...what’s bothering you?”

Xavier also stared at the floor, his friend’s words hammering into his brain. He wiped a stray tear away, trying to focus on what was bothering him...really bothering him. 

“What she said...about my uncle. Why would he try and take Karkah? She’s safe here, and I don’t know what happened with my father in the Mirage but when I asked him about Ammon he...he didn’t respond, and he had this look on his face that I think meant he won...their fight y’know? So if that’s true, and both my uncle and father are here...someone has to be running the Mirage...and why would he try to take her from us? Why in front of everyone?”

Ari nodded encouragingly, latching onto something that hopefully the blond could actually figure out. “What do you mean?” he pushed. 

Xavier frowned, continuing. “He’s not a..a brute force kind of man y’know? When he got me rescued, he couldn’t be the one doing it, but he did it. He’s not a fighter first, he’s...he’s a chess player. He has pieces and thinks about his movements, he’s like every Sin’dorei noble I ever grew up around or with. You don’t just rush your target you destroy them from the bottom and then cut them at the top...so why would he switch like that?” 

Ari shrugged “There’s really only one person that can answer that question...sure glad you remember him so you can go ask him.” he offered his friend a grin, secretly relieved when he got a glare but a smile in return. 

Xavier nodded “No, you’re right...only way I’ll know is to ask him. Thank you, Ari...I don’t think I’m ready to apologize to Mai yet but...I know I should and make sure she knows I mean it.” 

“And you’ll never do something that stupid again and just come find me to cry and ruin my shirt again?” Ari added hopefully. 

The blond rolled his eyes, shoving the other Sin’dorei playfully “Yes, I’ll come find you instead and ruin your shirts.” he promised. 

Ari nodded in acceptance, patting him on the back “Good. Being soft hearted in a harsh world isn’t a weakness, Xavi. You just have to temper it a bit...you’re on the right path though.” 

Xavier smirked “When did you get so smart? Aren’t we the same age?” 

Ari raised his head haughtily “I’ll remind you I’m exactly three years older than you, means I’m three years smarter which is like one hundred years for you and the dumb shit you do.” he winked at him. 

Xavier laughed then, pulling his friend into a hug. “You’re right...I do dumb shit, but I’m glad I’ve always got you to catch me when I fall too far.” 

Ari smiled softly, hugging him back. “Always, little sundial. Always.” 

( MENTIONS: @eilitheduskbringer​ @kurel-andiel​ )

[nohumanbondthatcompares]

I know it gets hard sometimes But I could never Leave your side No matter what I say

[jalecsource]

S02E14

[xavier-sunshadow]

The Final Crack

“Protect each other.”

Xavier stared blankly at the house he had been given by Eilithe. He’d stood outside the door now for half an hour. He knew he needed to go inside, he needed to rest. He needed to find his sisters, he needed to tell them...

“Save us...you have to save us.”

The blond turned, stepping away from the house and leading himself to the portals. A quick turn to the one towards Orgrimmar, and he was through. The guards barely gave him a look, after all he looked like a Sin’dorei  no matter where he went, and with his golden eyes they all just assumed he was some kind of Light user in the Horde...no one even questioned him as he exited the massive gates and kept going. 

His blue Gemcat carried him when he could no longer walk, running along the deep shadows of the dawn until at last he could see what he was after. The fires from the Darkspear village lit up the sky, casting an orange warmth to the already rising sun, and he pulled up his cat short of the village gates, hopping down and looking to a guard, who eyed him suspiciously. 

“I...I seek your Seer.” he said, voice cracking, and he looked down as the guard’s expression changed to one of sympathy. He didn’t know what was wrong, but he knew this elf was hurting. 

Weak

“Follow da lights...she be in da hut in da back.” He replied, ushering the youth in. 

Xavier did as instructed, following the fires into the back. They dimmed softly in the morning sun, until at last he was in front of the hut he was supposed to go into. Standing before the door, he took a breath, taking the two wooden steps up to knock. 

“Don’t jus’ be standin’ out there in da sun, come in lil’ elfling.” A deep but feminine voice called to him. 

He snorted...well at least he had the right place. Stepping inside, his eyes adjusted to the darkness, nose flaring at the scent of acrid herbs and fruit. The blond looked to the Darkspear Seer, an aged troll matriarch perched upon a pile of furs and pillows, eating her breakfast. She offered him a smile, motioning for him to come sit in front of her. 

“I apologize for coming so early. I just..” Xavier trailed off at her stern look. 

“I know why you are here, son of da Scarab an’ da Shadows. You wan’ t’ lose all dat you gained mm? Tell me, why you lookin’ ta be a coward now, aftah everythin’?”

Xavier winced, dropping to his knees as his shoulders slumped. “I can’t...I can’t do it anymore. I’m a coward...a failure..everything they’ve ever said I would be but I just...” tears fell from his eyes as he shut them, nails digging deep into his palms. “I lost them...again. I’m...I’m so tired of loss. I couldn’t save my parents the first time, I didn’t save them again...I just...I want...I don’t want this feeling anymore. I don’t want to feel like the hole in my chest will never fill. I want...I want what I was before.” 

She watched him as he broke down, frowning. His grief was near a manifestation around him, shadows that burrowed deep into his very soul and wrenched it apart. 

“Loss be part of life, little sundial. You not da first ta lose all, why you thinkin’ you special mm?”

Xavier looked up at her then, eyes narrowing. “If you can do this...if you take these memories, put me back...I know it comes at a price. I’ll pay it. Whatever you, or your Loa wants. I’m yours.” hadn’t he just spoken to his aunt about this? What had the fuck up cost...what would this cost?

The Seer leaned forward, staring deep into his eyes, her own turning a more malevolent red. “You be meanin’ dat...don’t you.” it wasn’t a question, she saw his drive, fueled by pain, rage, anguish...a need for it to go away. 

“Listen ta me, an’ listen well. I not be sayin no, but I be sayin you need ta think about it, alrigh’? Promisin yaself ta Loa an’ ta me be all well an’ good until it actually be done an’ you be regrettin’. Three days. I wan’ you ta take three days an’ think it over. See your family, speak ta them...speak ta whoever you need to ta see if you want this. Once we do this, there’s no goin’ back, you will be mine, an’ so will every memory you’ve made since you woke up dat night in dat storm.” She paused, holding his gaze once more. “Ya understand? Three days.” 

The youth looked like he wanted to argue, but he nodded with a small sigh. “Three days.” he agreed finally, putting out his hand to her. 

She took his hand, holding it tight and caressing his wrist with her other, a sigil burning bright into his skin, causing him to hiss in pain and try to wrench away. She held him tight, making sure it was etched deep before finally letting him go. 

Xavier jerked, staring in shock at the odd Zandali sigil, then up at her in confusion. 

“Three days, you don’ return tha’ goes away. Three days, you walk back inta my hut, tha’ sigil burns everythin’ out of you dat makes you, you. Understand?” 

Xavier swallowed, but nodded. “Thank you.” he said softly, turning to leave. He pulled his sleeve down, hiding the mark as he summoned his Gemcat once more. Three days...he would not head back to the Harbor. No one needed to know what became of him. They’d just assume he left, he hoped. 

Turning the blue enchanted mount towards Orgrimmar once more, the elf began to race once more across the flats. He needed to get to Silvermoon...in three days he needed to make sure everything was in place. He looked up at the rising sun...that evening would be the funeral Rev would hold, a burial for Eilithe, and hopefully something for his father as well. Xav’s ears drooped as he held on, eyes closing as more tears fell. 

“I’m sorry Minn’da...I’m sorry Mai...Ah’vey...I hope you rest well in the next life...I’m sorry I won’t remember you.”

Three days...he had three days to grieve, and then it would stop. 

(Mentions of @eilitheduskbringer @revthepunchbear @kurel-andiel )

[xavier-sunshadow]

Until Then

The night’s breeze of Dead Sun washed over him as he lay in bed, curled on his side before rolling over on his back. Blankets had been long since kicked down, tangled around his strong legs as Xavier whimpered softly, face contorting in lines of concern even as he remained asleep. Exposed, the black scorpid that rested on his left hip just about his pant line glowed faintly in gold, the glittering apparition seeping upwards as the youth twisted and turned, sweat beading on his golden skin. 

The desert was hot, the cries of a crowd echoed deep in his chest as he watched them. He was not his father this time, he was different...a ghost, something there yet not seen. There was smoke in the air, fire. He felt it in his bones, something had happened. His father stood proud, speaking but he couldn’t hear the muffled words coming from the man’s mouth. Suddenly...suddenly everything broke loose.  Another Tanari, so like his father but younger, fitter maybe, standing shirtless as his father did but he wore pants that had metal trim, there were symbols and shows of wealth there...of power. He could see the other youth’s face, so much like his own, but darker...and those eyes. They turned and peered at him, the only one who seemed to notice he was there. A smirk crossed the Tanari’s face and Xavier snarled at him, everything in his body demanding he stand, and fight against those shadowy black pools, they were not eyes...they were voids.  With the sound of thunder suddenly the scene shifted, there was blood on the sand...so much blood. A clash of two titans, of swinging swords and magic permeating the air. He remembered when his father and he had fought in the Scion’s den, when he had pinned his father down and nearly drove a dagger into the older man’s throat. He remembered when Kurel had called him weak for letting him live...he had remembered the desert was not allowed to love, he was supposed to survive...to survive through hate. 

This one hated his father.  Another cry echoed through him, and he was suddenly in front of his father, once again words not reaching his ears, but he saw his uncles there too. The gates of the Mirage a small speck on the desert horizon. He smelled the sand and felt the sun blistering over his tanned skin. He felt his own heart beat, but also the three he stood before. Soft and calm: Mavas, heavy and elevated: his father, and fast with adrenaline: Saeris.  There were symbols around them he did not understand, a golden line connected all three, a seeming thread of fate that would not break...did not break. He watched them turn towards the gate, and he was thrown back towards the fight.  This time he could see the threads again, stretching far but there. He saw the tarnished strand that connected Kurel with his opponent. He saw the glowing thread that connected himself to his father. Family...this Tanari was family.  “Ammon.”  The voice came from somewhere, a whispered hiss, and another memory of a cage, of the warning cries, of finding his sister and of escaping the Mirage before he had been killed for being an An’Diel. The desert did not love, and the desert would not be usurped. His father though...his father had loved. His father had loved his biological mother. His father loved Eilithe, his adopted mother. His father, who was desert, had loved...and that love would carry, wouldn’t it? Strength in fighting, strength in loyalty...the others would not let him die...right?  Another scream of anger, a slamming of two bodies together as he watched his father and his brother fight. The sky turned violet, and then gold, the symbols burned into his eyes and he was blinded just as they clashed again, Kurel’s grunt and snarling cry of pain echoing in his ears as darkness claimed him. 

Xavier jerked awake with a roaring shout, the golden glow of his eyes burning as he saw  his father lying on his floor. Then it switched to his brother’s still form, a brother who he did not know. Finally like sands blowing in the breeze the visions left him, leaving him cold and shaking in his bed. He tried to calm himself, quickly untangling his legs and stumbling to get a glass of water and to splash his face.  When the youth looked in the mirror he could see the gold in his eyes, the remainder of the power that he was trying to control sparkling accusingly at him before it faded back to his regular blue. Xavier took a shaky breath, closing his eyes as he tried to make sense of the assault of visions that had come to him. He had no idea what any of it meant, but it left him hollow, a worry deep in his gut for his father.  Speaking softly to himself, the language of his father rolled off his tongue. “Qafat allow mae tikh sandi.  Allow mae jadat irge..” Let him be safe...let him come home.   

@eilitheduskbringer​ @kurel-andiel​

[explosivesorrow-deactivated2019]

∞ For Xavier

Send me ∞ and my muse will tell you…

If I Think They Are: Ugly || Plain || Alright || Cute || Freaking Adorable || Pretty || Beautiful || Hot || Stunning

If I Would Go On A Date With Them: Not even if we were the last two one earth || No || Maybe || Eh….Sure || Yes || WILL YOU MARRY ME

If I Trust Them: Not At All || Not Really || Kind of || Yes || With My Life

If I Care About Them: Not At All || Not Really || Kind of || Yes || Deeply

If I Would Sleep With Them: Not Enough Alcohol in the World || No || Maybe if I were wasted || Maybe || Eh…Sure || Yes || TAKE YOUR CLOTHES OFF NOW!

My Comfort Level With Your Muse: Keep a Distance || Okay You Can Stand There, But Don’t Touch Me || Let’s Get Coffee and Talk || Let’s Cuddle || I Can Change In Front of You || Let’s Take a Bath Together

If I See You As: A Stranger || An Acquaintance || A Friend || A Close Friend || My Best Friend || A Crush || The Love of My Life

@ryderflynn (I forgot xaviers blog since im tired rip)