I don’t want to post too many vents but I need to get this off my chest. I am SO mentally exhausted of being treated badly by other people in the TES fandom who also love Teldryn and ship their characters with him. I’ve had several people on Instagram put me down for shipping Cimba (my Khajiit) with Teldryn but now a few people here have done the same thing. I really don’t want to leave the TES fandom and I don’t want to stop doing art and fanfictions of Cimba and Teldryn. They’ve been such a great comfort to me over the past few years and have gotten me through a lot of shit including the worst break-up I’ve had and the deaths of my ex-partner and cat. I have BPD, C-PTSD, and struggled with self-harm/suicidal thoughts for most of my adulthood and Cimba is a reflection of all of that. Writing fanfictions about her and Teldryn’s relationship has really helped me cope with and process my mental struggles. The fact that others in the TES fandom are willing to take that away from me is just so fucking hurtful. I really wish I didn’t care, but I cannot handle being treated like this by people who also love the same character as I do (and the fact that these people are much older than me). I’ve literally cried over what these people have done to me.
I had a really rough week and was actually starting to feel better yesterday, but I’ve fallen back into that depressive pit again. I’m probably going to feel very unmotivated to do art for a while… I’m just so tired of how disrespectful and immature people in this fandom can be.
Thank you to those who has been kind to me and supportive of my art, it really does mean the world to me ♥️
it genuinely breaks my heart that yet another one of my friends/mutuals has been so negatively affected by this fandom. people here are like.... genuinely uniquely nasty. you saw what i went through earlier myself. it's beyond frustrating. it's cliquey and so oddly hostile.
i know i've said this before, but it brings me major comfort seeing how much Cimba means to you like Robin means to me. unfortunately people like that will never understand the personal depth and importance of these characters, and that's okay. it says more about them than you. than both of us, lol. obviously ignoring the negative attention is easier said than done, especially with C-PTSD (shaking your hand), but i'm proud of you for still posting regardless. we need more genuine and vulnerable stories and art/characters like this.
i still look at the doodle you did of Cimba and Robin and it means a lot to me. :3 i'll have a gift for you ready soon btw. <3
..... also it's insane how the 30 year olds here are so. um. uniquely immature lmao















