childish.

[quotethat]

Never trust your tongue when your heart is bitter.

Samuel J. Hurwitt (via jjxnah)

[hedonist--poet-deactivated20240]

Can you imagine the world if we only saw souls and not bodies?

(via river-inyourmouth)

[shoujoromance]

[xcaios-blog]

tuyien:

_— _"How can someone offering you a drink, in dim-lighted bar, can be cute?", a frown had appeared on his facial features. The young idol had sometimes some issues understanding whatever was happening in the other’s mind. Mark waved at the bartender, and asked for a drink of the same kind as his.  — The lopsided, and perhaps a tad victorious, smile was back, as his gaze landed on the other’s face one more time. He’d just understood something. “But hey, if you never compliment anyone like that, does that make me special?”

"It's cute because you're offering me drinks, duh." He said out, probably sounding a little sarcastic but he doesn't really care. He blinked lazily, eyes following the bartender's swift actions of mixing his drinks. 

He really was planning on leaving. The scene was too boring and the crowds are all the same, but who in the right mind would refuse a free drink? He cocked his head slightly towards the male, amusement glinting inside his orbs. "I don't know, do you want to be?"

[yisxok-deactivated20150531]

Half smirk with a cigarette as accessory, his eyes not leaving the other’s as he puffed his reply between smoke. “I am looking after myself, can’t you see?” Then the tube was gone, smashed against the ground, now damp after the rain that had poured just a few hours earlier. The smell was nicer, all the pollution washed away for a mere night until the morning routine and buzz would take the purity of rain away. "No, I clearly am missing something if you still carve those pills, Axel." now his tone was serious. He hated that, scolding, being the mother, that boy was old enough and Yiseok well knew that, and he was absolutely no one to tell him what when and where to do stuff, it was pathetic and he wanted nothing but to slap himself. But, instead, he stepped backwards, leaving more distance between them, his eyes now with a glimpse of embarrassment fixed on how the rest of the tobacco slowly died. "I know there are people I can’t fix. They are far too deep into their cave, darkness loves them just as much as they love it, the sorrow and regret are their everyday bread and self loath their proteins. However, I’d be a pity to see you like them, a complete shame. You…fuck, Axel you have that spark, that spark of wills to live. I just want you to realize that." His hand was quick to brush his nape, leaving a red trail there, always too harsh never careful, and forever clumsy. "We should head back."

[xcaios-blog]

"Feels like you're my guardian rather than my friend." He snorted, his monochrome toned clothing disappeared completely within the darkness of the night. His eyes narrowed slightly at the now wet cigarette, their simple actions right now is outright polluting the world.

"I'm not addicted." He frowned at the other male, huffing out loudly. "It was meant to be a temporarily distraction. I know the effects." The word looked convincingly confident enough, but his voice sure isn't. Fuck, his life are meant to be screwed over anyways, who the fuck gives a shit anymore about his life rather than building him into someone he's not. 

So he stood there, Yiseok's voice still echoed within his mind. The other male knows exactly what his wills are, no matter how contradictory his thoughts can tangled through. "I only have the will to live, because outside those jails, there are so many things to explore." He muttered out quietly. "So many things to be seen, so many things to learn, to do, to research. Dying is easy, but dying while knowing that there are so many human filth in this world makes me want to throw up. I only live, because I want to die peacefully." He ended with that, index finger pressing against his temples as a way of calming himself down. 

"Lead me."

[yisxok-deactivated20150531]

"What do you mean as always?" Yiseok half laughed, trying to sound affected but actually he knew he couldn’t fight against evidence. Yiseok had never been one to give pieces of advice, him wanting them more than anything, to know what he had to do, what it was expected from him to be and say Yiseok you ought to, Yiseok you should, those words were like patterns in his brain, like an infinite path of more signs that only lead him to limbo. And it rot him inside out, ate him with raw teeth and sharp fangs, the impotence, the wills to help but the lack of guidance. It was also true that he couldn’t help everyone, some were too broken to fix, too shattered some of their pieces couldn’t be found anymore. However, he could help Axel, he held into that rope of hope, as some kind of motivation to make himself better, not that a sour drink will turn sweeter with a grain of sugar, but he could try. That’s maybe the main reason, the pulley that moved his gears, this conviction that his friend could be patched up, what made him turn, face the other, managing to never loose his touch, as if it was the only way to keep him there. “Let me help you, Axel.” the words were out before he could even process them. “You fucking know you aren’t alone, and I fucking know how it feels to be in this constant state of mind. So let me help you, let me be your reliable leaning spot. And I’ll bring the detonate for your bomb when you make your company explode.” There was something burning in the wolf’s eyes and he couldn’t point out exactly what it was, but surely he had never felt that way before: something was bouncing in him, it was painful and strong like a block of pure rock. His words escaped his lips faster than usual in a rusty voice that sounded almost convincing, hand against the wall behind the other, fingers going to take the cigarette from the smallest’s lips. “I know it ain’t that easy, God if I know. But let me make it less hard.”

[xcaios-blog]

"You know what I mean." He grunted out, back starting to ache with his orbs looking towards the scenary below. He could just imagine, "A son of a millionaire found dead" in tomorrow's new's headline; but he couldn't possibly die yet, not when there's so many things for him to do, and so many goals to achieve. 

He knew, that if his mere thoughts became a reality, his family would've pushed the blame to the man next to him. Causing trouble is his ability, but doing it recklessly isn't his way of doing things. Although, all that he could feel right now is heaviness. A black burden pushing onto him that made him blinked back to the scenario that he had just imagined, how beautiful would it be to escape— 

No, focus. 

The sudden speech from the other male caught Axel in surprise, his lips gaping out in awe, slowly cocking his head towards the male. "You know.." He started, clouds of smoke escaping his teeth, with his palms resting on the other's shoulder. "You should really look after yourself first." A crooked smile appeared within his lips, he raised his brows playfully. "I know that you'd do anything for me, hyung. I know that you'd go through shits for me, 'cuz I'd do the same for you but.." He pursed his lips out in thought, the taste of toxic overflowing from his mouth. "you're already helping me enough."

[xcaios-blog]

Replies are on halt until mun's exam period is finished.

[got7-updates]

piece of you

[tuyien-deactivated20180422]

— “Says the meanest guy I’ve ever known,” he’d muttered as the other pouted. Would he have been interested into seeing his face at that moment, he’d have noticed the pout, and mocked the other male. But Mark simply downed his third mojito, slamming the glass back down on the counter after that. That’s only then that he casted a glance at the male by his side. — “A’ight, you got me, I won’t puke on your pants. But that doesn’t mean I will go down on you either,” he showed the other a lopsided smile. “Do you want to drink something? My treat. And I won’t spit into your glass,” at least he was sincere.

[xcaios-blog]

"I'm the rudest?" There are many surprises in this world indeed, and that statement seemed to surprise him the most. You should have a look at yourself first, he muttered lowly but managed to smile immediately afterwards at the idol. Taking the chance to take a seat next to him. 

"You've just got, 1000 times cuter." He blinked. Puking was one thing, but the male was offering a drink. He doesn't really want to admit it, but it threw him quite off-guard. "Made that 2000 times cuter, and I never even compliment anyone like this at all."

[kwonstrike-deactivated20150706]

What does Jesus have to do with this, is what she wanted to ask but evidently decided against it. The responses made her regret everything, yet for some weird reason it wasn’t enough to make her leave the male behind; to her own frustration, and surely his, it’s almost like her feet had been nailed to the ground. “You’re a terrible liar,” she muttered with a sigh. It had certainly been a bad idea to try and be nice for a change, that was for sure.  It made her wonder honestly, why others bother. Standing up from a crouched position required way more effort than what she expected, maybe this whole thing had drained her even if it had only been less than a couple of minutes. It wasn’t worth it. “Suit yourself.” This wasn’t her forte after all. 

[xcaios-blog]

He doesn't even want to look behind at this scenario near any possible future. The humiliation that was brought upon his tears made him angry at himself for not having enough self-control. "I'm not." He retorted back almost immediately. Pride is the only priority in his mind. Gaining it back to it's rightful places sure will be hard, but he'll manage. 

Upon seeing the girl standing up, he doesn't want to admit out loud but it did relieved some tensions within his chest. A stranger seeing him at his worst, is perhaps better than someone whom he knows well and mocks him for it later. 

[yisxok-deactivated20150531]

"Why? Rumors again?" He sighed, head slightly pointed upwards, eyes slowly falling shut and he was taking all the air his lungs could grasp. The touch on his abdomen was cold, not unbearably freezing but just worrying enough for the other to captured it on his mind, prisoner forever in his memories alongside with the situation itself. A few weeks ago, every since the two most desired and loved by papparazzi’s kids met, rumors started spreading around, whispers, mumbles, then outrageous articles and a three hour scolding from his parents. Not that he cared. Why should he? All his life could be resumed in this, like a rare fossil one child had discovered in his parent’s vineyard and was now studied, looked from under a magic glass, foreign people reporting every single move he dared to take during every goddamn second of his miserably, filled with dirty gold and diamonds life.  As much as he didn’t share the other’s goal, he wasn’t opposed to it, in fact, wanted to help in the matter. Destroying his parent’s family would suppose not only his ruin, which he could get over, but his siblings also, and most importantly his sister, and he would give his rotten life for her. Moreover, he knew that mistreating the world around him wasn’t going to solve his problem, even if he wanted nothing more than to see everything he had ever touched, every street he had walked, every paper, building he had damned in flames.  The rational part of him took over, and Yiseok let it, or else he would turn insane. He had reasons, Axel being the first one. No one could understand what that boy represented to him, a reliable source of acceptance, care and friendship, what one would call a friend, but not only that, he understood, he shared with him his agonies. And it all started as that kid in the coffee shop. "Wasn’t it to see your company shatter?" the wolf says jokingly, the cigarette moving as his lips do, teeth firm around the tip as smoke left his lungs. "I’m kidding. Starting by the fact that happiness is ephemeral and unreal, you can only achieve a peaceful state of mind. How to do that? I have no idea." With a questioning raise of his eyebrow, Yiseok held the venom filled cigarette towards the other.

[xcaios-blog]

"Yeah, my father's wife is already onto me." He spatted out with much ferocity. The torturous moments with her almost drove him insane. She's a witch in angel's wings, the sole reason why Axel couldn't live in peace. He couldn't even spend an alone time at the bar, not without people mumbling stupid rumours that can be easily found in a gossip section of a news website; even though he wouldn't consider himself as a celebrity or anything. 

He could never considered himself as lucky. He's anything but lucky, nor money could buy him happiness. The time that his father bribed him with a limited edition car in order for him to engaged to a fellow socialite still haunted him to this day. If he accomplished this goal of his, he wouldn't have to stay in this stupid company, nor lived in this house filled with nightmares. All he want is a quiet life, following the pathways that he had laid out himself. Being someone else's shadow isn't his forté, nor that it would do him any justice. 

For many parts of his life, he thought that he was alone with nowhere to go. He's lost within his own minds, and everyone else's around it doesn't seemed to pick him up at all. The strong mentality of his starts to shattered, only despair filling his place. Caffeine being one of his reliever, has once again saved his life by bringing someone who has the power to changed his life completely, someone relatable, someone Axel wouldn't thought to have existed out there. 

"That's one thing." He replied bitterly, his mouth wrapped around the end of the tip, sucking on it; filling every spaces of his lungs. "Your advices are shit as always, or was it because my Hangul is shit? My mind is never peaceful. It makes conflicted within itself. An explaination as to why I get headaches all the damn time."

[anastasiagreenleaf-deactivated2]

[glassdanimals]

[photosetavenue]

[the-suit-men]

[kwonstrike-deactivated20150706]

You’re fine my ass.  The situation encountered surely caught her off guard. Fine enough, her hand had been flicked away and she had been told to leave… but in the end, she didn’t understand how she could leave someone behind like this. It’s not like she forced him to tell what had happened either, the brunette had simply tried to help him calm down as an automatic response to being worried.  Unfortunately for him, Sohyun too is stubborn. Her heart beat hard against the ribcage, she couldn’t tell if she made the better choice or not by sticking around. “…” Then again, she didn’t have a plan b and words haven’t ever been her best friend. She sighed heavily, keeping it soundless, and glanced around for a moment. It didn’t feel right to leave. “You don’t seem fine, though…”

[xcaios-blog]

"Are you deaf?" He would've glared at her, but the pride within him whispered out that he had to keep his head hanging low for now. His legs carefully lifted him up to his feet, hands brushing against the dripping liquid in an attempt to stop it from flowing. "Jesus.." He cussed out in English, breathing in and out. He shouldn't have been here, where a forbidden place within his memories started to attack him outright like that. 

"I said, I'm okay." He heaved out, turning his body away from the female. His weakness are still there, ready to crumble within his own hands. "I'll say that over and over again until you've understand."

[starlate-deactivated20150129]

Not everyone you lose is a loss.

(via sowintergirl)