MORTIFYING ― A suitable word to describe the current situation. Ever since she’d rescued Sae from her shadow-self & told her about The Phantom Thieves, the two of them had gotten closer. That much was true. Still, discussing sexual stuff with her big sis would forever be, UNBEARABLY AWKWARD. Some siblings might be comfortable talking about their romantic partners & what they’d done with them, but Sae & her chose to ABSTAIN from such...Heated topics. Perhaps because the two of them harbored deep-seated incestuous feelings toward one another? If she were being totally honest, she didn’t really have A PROBLEM discussing those sorts of things with the elder Niijima, but every time she’d tried, screaming followed, doors slammed, & her sister avoided her FOR WEEKS. Eventually, Makoto simply STOPPED TRYING. Was easier that way. If it hurt Sae so much to hear that she was attracted to women & had partaken in sexual intercourse with a couple of them, she’d rather just STAY SILENT. Ignorance was BLISS, they said. Unfortunately, with how tonight was going? All those secrets burried beneath the surface...It was only a matter of time before her big sister got her HEART BROKEN.
“Yes, I know, sis.” Small nod of affirmation. She’d slept with four girls to date. & In that particular instant when she’d felt she wanted to be somewhere else, Makoto had thoroughly evaluated the situation, & come to the conclusion that it was just A SILLY THOUGHT ― It had been right after she’d joined the Lungmen Guard Department, the first night Swire, Ch’en, & her messed around. A FLEETING MOMENT. Alcohol in her system & hours from home, Sae had crossed her mind. Their last night together. Though they weren’t ex-girlfriends, it had FELT like it. & SHE’D MISSED HER. However, her sister’s face & body had vanished nearly as quickly as it had popped into her mind, & she was CERTAIN she needed to move on. For both their sakes. (Mostly for Sae’s sake) “I ― Um, I wouldn’t say that I’m the “type”, per se.” She wasn’t the type at all. Young girl had gone through her REBELLIOUS PHASE, (She was still even kind of in it), but she wasn’t the sort of person to have one-night-stands & sleep with random strangers. Not like Swire. STOMACH CHURNED. “People make mistakes.” & Imagining her sister while sleeping with Swire & Ch’en for the first time while blackout drunk definitely qualified as A MISTAKE. “Last I checked we were playing Never Have I Ever, not Truth or Dare.”
EYES SHOT WIDE ― Makoto nearly choked on her drink when the chief called her out for being a player. “I’d hardly consider myself a “player,” Ch’en. Was simply a case of...Residual feelings...” She’d leave it at that. Like she’d said before, this wasn’t a game of TRUTH OR DARE. She didn’t OWE anyone in this room an explanation. None of them were dating. & All three of them insisted that they didn’t have romantic feelings for her. DEEP SIGH. Makoto had to refrain from poking herself between the brow. Seemed neither Ch’en nor Swire were willing to let this go. So she’d answer. Albeit, vaguely. “If you MUST know, It wasn’t one of those scumbags. There was certainly alcohol involved. And no, I wouldn’t classify it as a one-night-stand.” Three of them had messed around A LOT over the last month. & She had every intention of continuing their tryst.
“I expect drinks, girls~” The words had SPILLED CHAOTICALLY over bright red lips, before she’d had the chance to properly process what she was saying. She’d wanted to TEASE the three of them. Make them all drink. She hadn’t taken the time contemplate how damning such a statement could be. How very UNLIKE. HER. (She had the alcohol to thank for that) ― Confident smirk slipped away when she turned on the heels of boots & glanced over at her company. The obnoxious one was OBLIVIOUS as always. Other two? They’d DEFINITELY caught on. “Eek!” Makoto nearly dropped the bottle of liquor when the Superintendent’s vulgar voice echoed throughout the room. Asking if she’d watched her big sis be fucked in the ass. She supposed, in a way, she had. Only she’d been the one behind the older woman, shoving her face into the table & slamming her huge strap into ― Now REALLY wasn’t the time for that! “Swire ― I-It’s okay...Really. You didn’t say anything wrong. I...Did...” Chest tightened PAINFULLY when her gaze wandered up to her big sister’s. She looked about ready to cry, kill, or simply vomit her guts up. Oh god. Oh god. Oh god. “Sis...” Makoto HAD to look away. For the sake of her own SANITY.
‘Never have I ever fucked my sister…’
STARTLED JOLT ― Glass shattered across the floor of her dorm room, liquor splashing all over the place. She’d have to clean it up later, right now she was TOO CONCERNED with the state of her sister’s mind. “I...” She couldn’t bear the sight of those tears swimming in mirrored crimsons ― Setting her own drink down on the table, she took a step in Sae’s direction. Hands outreached. Was she attempting to COMFORT the older woman? (Was more likely to have them smacked away).
Next few moments were an emotional blur ― Her sister had slapped the chief across the face, grabbed her jacket, & stormed out of the room. SLAMMING the door behind her. (This was how it always ended). "Ch’en, please. Just stop.” Tone was louder than intended. Pleading with her fellow officer to cease her proclamations. If anyone found out about her & Sae, her big sister’s reputation would be TARNISHED. She’d be all over the news. She could even lose her job. Makoto had a sneaking suspicion that was the real reason the other woman insisted what happened was A MISTAKE. “Sis!” Head dizzy, chest tight, the lanky brunette rushed out the door, toe of her boot snagging on the back of the other & nearly sending her PLUMMETING to the ground in the hallway. Thankfully she caught herself on the wall. Eyes locked intensely on Sae. Who was ― Was she CRYING? Heart felt like it was being squeezed tightly. IT. HURT. SO. BAD. Nothing could make her hate herself more than bringing pain to the woman who had sacrificed her own youth & happiness to give her THE BEST life possible. What an ungrateful, selfish young girl she was.
“Sis, wait! PLEASE!” Makoto begged, desperately grabbing for Sae in an attempt to stop her ― “Can’t we just TALK about this!? P-Please...Don’t cry...” Tears welled up in her own eyes. Pencil-thin arms slithered around the older woman’s waist. Was she trying to STOP or HUG her? Honestly, a bit of both. She just wanted to hold her close & NEVER let her go. Because she knew that if Sae walked out that door right now, she’d go to some bar & get drunk, before heading back to Tokyo & AVOIDING every one of Makoto’s texts & calls for weeks. Maybe even months. (Or years. Would she even invite her home for the holidays?)
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