@xillusionsxx - Tumblr Blog

#just doing whatever with my knife #took manyyy pics like those bc I loveed the way my lips looked #used some lip liner and my contouring powder over it and it looks so good uegh #normally I dont like the look of lip products on my lips #mine #me #selfie #fake knife #tw knife #knife k1nk

My adhd meds probably make my anxiety worse sighhh

#you cant win with this fucking combination of everything that i have

Dude I need anti anxiety meds so bad

#it was so good yesterday my head was quiet even tho I didnt even took the prescribed dose #i took less than that wayyy less #but my head was still quiet and today its just a whole mess #worrying about everything and I cant even name what exactly bc I worry about it all #at the same time

Crying my eyes out rn bc I took a bath to maybe up my mood a little bc I felt jittery and nauseous again and then when I got up from the bath I wanted to open my window a little bc it got so hot due to the hot water but this stupid window got stuck on the complete open option and I realised to late and then the window kicked my ipad into the bathtub that was still filled with water and I directly pulled it out and dried it up even before I went out of the bath myself but the water got behind the screen and its a really old ipad that isnt waterproof and already had a battery problem

#and now i‘m crying my eyes out while still standing completely wet and naked in the bathroom #and you can still turn it on but you can see that water is behind the screen #so idk for how long it will work #i always watched tv on my ipad :(

Just wanted to kindly say, with all due respect, with that pic you posted today…

*clears throat*

Mommy

~🍪

I literally just screamed out loud but in a suffering and despair way

Please dont call me mommy okay?? I know nearly everyone is into this whole goth mommy shit but you can’t be more far away from being goth and a mommy than I am.

I do worry like a mother when I like someone but I dont think thats what yall mean with the term "mommy".

I am not a dominant mommy and i‘m also not into submissive dudes that want to suck on my boobs and call me mommy and shit. I‘m quite literally the opposite which is why it feels weird to me to get called mommy.

I know you didnt said all that in your ask I just wanted to clarify that in general soo I didnt meant my ask in a bad way bc you couldn’t have known.

#anyways sorry if my reply is too extreme or something #i just dont like it when people label me as something that i‘m not #asks #answered asks

Can my wig finally arrive pleaseeee ueeeeghh

#i even dreamed of my wig😭 I dreamed that the wig was shitty and lowkey only a piece of hair and not a full wig #probabky bc I watched a vid yesterday where someone had a wig for a costume and it was just a piece of hair

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

xillusionsxx

I broke my strict routine of eating a nutella toast every morning.. just wanted to say that

#i had toast with margarine #and ham? sounds so wrong wtf but idk what word else to use #and scrambled eggs on top #do yall know how long it is ago since the last time I ate something with margarine?? i nearly never eat it same with butter #anyways i had my nutella toast routine since years already especially in the mornings its strictly a Nutella toast everyday

xillusionsxx

Actually living life rn

The sun isnt shining in my face its colder with wind and i‘m in the back of our garden eating blueberries from our blueberry bush and nobody else is awake and outside so its nice and quiet

xillusionsxx

Om nom nom

#gosh I love blueberries #especially when we freeze them and I can eat them with milk #also the bush looks insanely green lol #mine #me

Actually living life rn

The sun isnt shining in my face its colder with wind and i‘m in the back of our garden eating blueberries from our blueberry bush and nobody else is awake and outside so its nice and quiet

#completely forgot that we have the blueberry bush here #eating blueberries off of it as I write this

Currently standing like a npc in the middle of our garden

#like i‘m literally not moving since i‘m here #just standing and waiting for the dogs to do their buissness #bc I need to eat breakfast soon I already get nauseous #i always get nauseous instead of hungry when I need to eat #anyways i‘m not even standing on stone or something no i‘m just in the middle of the grass

I feel like I got run over or someone stepped on my throat

#normally when you sleep shitty your neck always hurts at the back #but today my fucking throat area hurts #like my throat feels tense

What’s a swag gap?

Well uhhh obviously i‘m not basic looking and a swag gap would be when I were together with someone who is basic

In nearly all my relationships my partner was basic and over time its actually not really nice tbh because often those people tend to try to change you or suddenly you are embarrassing for them bc you look the way you look or they tell you that you shouldn’t buy something bc you aren’t a child anymore and so on and on.

At first they love you for the way you look but when they realise that it doesn’t always look conventionally attractive they suddenly stop liking it.

#with basic people I mean someone with a basic style and hmm for example who listens to german rap or something #so someone who is not at all in the bubble that i‘m in with zero same interests #asks #answered asks

Nothing against people who are poly okay✋🏻I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST YALL THIS POST IS JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION

Okay when that is said bc I know I have some moots who are poly.. I personally can’t imaginen ever being in a polygamous relationship and lowkey I see "poly" in sooo many bios or "open relationship" and even people who show interest in me often like the idea of fucking someone else aswell and like no fuck no I‘d kill you and me both before I see you fuck another bitch actually let me kill that bitch too before I kill us

#i literally cant do stuff like that #i find it cool that other people can do it tho and if I could do it too I probably would do it too #but like gosh i‘m so jealous often and afraid of people leaving me like no #when you‘re mine you‘re mine idc

Do you have anywhere you love to visit?

Norway and the US

I dont know if I can ever do that tho bc just today I literally had the biggest breakdown since idk how long bc I was supposed to go on vacation for 4days but I wasnt on vacation since 6years so yeah no anyways in the end I needed to take my emergency calm down meds and I stayed home :D fun times

#asks #answered asks

Do you have anything on your bucket list you still want to try?

Uhm in general? Or in what way?

I‘m actually not really adventurous.. I used to be a bit more chill some years ago but idk stuff happend and I guess now i‘m not like that anymore anyways I want to ride a motorcycle and have a cool car one day and I also want to marry and I actually dont have any more things I wanna do (its not really trying but yeah)

If you didnt meant in general then tell me bc I just replied for in general stuff

#asks #answered asks

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