this divine alchemy of the self

i'm noah (they/them). this is an online transition journal. more about me • more about this blog

[xixxvxx]

i didn’t think i was gonna have to say this but PLEASE do NOT interact with this blog from your pro-ana/thinspo account, PLEASE. if you want to look at my posts or bookmark my page in your browser or w/e that’s fine, but PLEASE, out of respect for my boundaries and consideration for my own health and safety, do not like/reblog any of my posts or follow me if that’s the kind of blog you run. if you can’t honor this request i will block you.

[xixxvxx]

nineteen weeks on T

trying to get back into doing weekly updates

i’ve been breaking out a lot lately—on my cheeks and chin like in previous months, on my shoulders and back more recently, and, oddly specifically, on my right temple/forehead above my right eye. my acne is more physically irritating than it was in the earlier months of my transition, but it’s still not cystic. trying out a gentler shaving cream and using witch hazel as toner/aftershave at the advice of a friend, so we’ll see if that changes anything

seeing more hair growth further up on my belly along my midline

way back in november i did my very first shot at around 1:00pm, and at my old provider’s instruction i continued to do my shots at that time for the months following, but i just recently switched to doing them in the early evening instead—it’s just a little more convenient for me. i didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary on the week that i switched my shot time

i had an appointment with a new provider last week. i haven’t heard back about my labs yet but barring anything concerning there i’m going to continue with the dose i started on (0.3mL/60mg weekly). i’m pretty happy with the pace at which the hormones have affected me so far

finally, saved the biggest news for last: i was also able to schedule a top surgery consultation last week! it’s not until summer of next year but i had figured that would be the case and didn’t want to get top surgery until i’d been on HRT for at least a year anyway. excited!

[xixxvxx]

four months on T

... plus three days… minus the past few weekly updates i should have made but didn’t… every week i say “i’m having a rough one” and then the following week is even rougher—march was has not been good to me. anyway, as to what’s new—details (brief mentions of menstruation and weight) under the cut

new hair growth on my cheeks, mustache, neck, chest, belly, shoulders, and back

very oily skin, lots of breakouts

voice has gotten a little lower since my three month mark—not as significant of a drop in some prior months

hunger and libido are still greater than they were pre-T, but feel more manageable than they did in the earliest months of my transition. appetite fluctuates wildly

still getting pretty bad bloating

gained notable muscle definition in my limbs

lost some of the curves i used to have in my torso—i’m less hourglass-shaped and more straight-lined

put on a few pounds—not sure if it’s fat, muscle, or water weight, don’t care to concern myself with it

blood pressure, blood oxygen saturation, heart rate, and heart sounds were all normal as of a recent doctor’s appointment

still no period since november—i think i can safely say my menstrual cycle has shut down

suffice it to say i’m struggling pretty severely with my mental and chronic illness symptoms—not sure if this has anything to do with the T but i’ll mention it when i go into my clinic for labs this coming tuesday

on the bright side my shot anxiety is pretty much completely gone, it’s become so routine at this point i barely think about it

no wordy conclusion to this month’s recap, i’m too tired. being on T hasn’t always been easy recently but i still love it for me. goodnight!

[xixxvxx]

fourteen weeks on testosterone

i’m posting this half a week late... sorry for the delays! i’ve had a difficult past couple of weeks, but maintaining this blog is important to me, so i’m gonna try to stay on top of it a little more.

extensive discussion of food—sharing what’s helped me cut down on swelling and manage testosterone hunger—as well as a mention of skin picking/BFRB and a very brief (recovery-oriented) mention of disordered eating under the cut.

i’ve been breaking out in a major way lately—i think it’s because i’m getting some new facial hair growth. there’s nothing whatsoever wrong with having acne, but i’ve had a rough time with my mood and anxiety lately, which has led me to backslide in some of my compulsive skin picking habits as my acne has picked up. :(

if anyone else living with OCD or a BFRB happens to be reading this and has any good tips for how to manage those behaviors in the context of HRT specifically, i'd love your advice.

on the bright side, i’ve been trying to eat less salt and sugar this past week, and i’ve seen a marked improvement in the bloating and swelling i talked about in my three month update. it’s hard to be conscientious about what i’m eating when my body is just yelling at me that it’s hungry all the time, and harder still to walk the line of keeping a reasonable eye my intake of certain foods without falling into unhealthy patterns of restriction, but i’m trying to make it work.

i don’t eat wheat products (gluten intolerance), and i am technically pescatarian, but i’ve also been avoiding dairy and eggs lately because i think they might upset my stomach, so working within that… i’ve been eating mostly 

lots of veggies (especially greens, i try to include one in every meal)

certain grains/cereals (corn, rice, certified GF oats, amaranth, sorghum)

legumes (black beans, chickpeas, lentils)

fish (mostly tinned tuna, anchovies as a treat)

soy-based protein (tofu and tvp, tempeh as treat since it’s pricier)

moderate amount of fat (avocado, nuts/additive-free nut butters)

fruit when i’m craving something sweet (bananas are my go-to)

protein shakes (when i’m working out, hungry but experiencing GI distress, know i need to eat but have no appetite etc.)

in short, trying to get lots of protein and fiber—and not neglecting fat

i’m also trying to eat more regularly throughout the day, instead of having only a snack or two in the morning/afternoon and then eating like crazy at night. (i’ve heard it claimed that this is not uncommon for people with ADHD? T has only made me more guilty of it.) i have never in my life been a breakfast person but i’m trying to get into it. prepping a big batch of a light snack like popcorn and keeping it on hand all day also helps.

all together these things have begun to curb some of the constant gnawing hunger T gives me, and again, have definitely helped with some of the bloating and general puffiness i’ve been experiencing lately.

[xixxvxx]

three months on testosterone

so i’m posting this eight days late… anyway. here’s what’s new since month two (mildly nsfw text and mention of menstruation under the cut)

skin and hair:

my skin didn’t seem terribly oily for the first half of the month—i felt like my acne subsided a bit during that time—but during the second half of the month my acne came back very proliferously on my cheeks, chin, shoulders, chest, and back

coinciding with the resurgence of my acne i noticed lots of new facial hair—i have what looks to be the beginnings of new terminal hair not just bridging my sideburns and goatee but totally covering my cheeks, which i am super excited about. steadily seeing more hairs on my belly and chest, which are starting to connect, and darkening hairs on my limbs

voice and body:

noticed a definite voice drop this past month—it happened kind of suddenly too

my hunger/appetite has been INSANE. i know i’ve mentioned it in several previous posts but it’s only grown since them. it is almost, not quite but almost, uncomfortable at times, and far more difficult to ignore than hunger i experienced pre-T. it’s hard to have a regular meal schedule because i always feel like i need to eat

i’ve experienced some degree of gastrointestinal bloating basically every day this month, and swelling in other parts of my body too—some puffiness in my ankles and, to a lesser degree, in my face. i’d been attributing this to my chronic illness, but recently my partner made me aware of something i hadn’t known when starting HRT: bloating/swelling due to water retention actually seems to be a commonly reported and somewhat studied phenomenon among people taking T. anecdotally i’ve seen a lot of people who experienced this kind of bloating say it starts to subside around the 6–8 month mark, so hopefully it won’t stick around for too long

reproductive:

really noticed bottom growth this month—not that it necessarily sped up but just that it’s steadily continued to the point that it just feels/looks very different (not complaining)

it’s now been over ten weeks since my last period so i am going to assume that i have stopped menstruating (not complaining!)

mood and energy:

i have felt pretty consistently tired this past month. my fatigue doesn’t necessarily stop me from completing my day-to-day responsibilities, but it does make it harder to get stuff done sometimes. i’ve been sleeping a little more—i don’t really take naps but i have been falling asleep earlier (sometimes just by accident, like i’ll pass out on the couch after dinner) and also having trouble waking up in the morning

i’ve definitely been struggling with my mood for the past couple of weeks. i’ve felt generally low on many days, and experienced dramatic mood swings on others, where i’ve gone from feeling energized and in good spirits to tired and deeply sad in a matter of minutes, sometimes with no apparent trigger. i’ve continued to deal with flares of irritability, though they don’t impact the way i behave or engage with others—i just find myself easily frustrated a lot.

gonna leave this post with a shorter summary than i’ve left on other monthly updates. while my first two months of HRT went by very smoothly, i’ve definitely hit a point where i’m starting to experience some of the less pleasant physical and emotional effects of T—some of which i was anticipating, some of which i had no idea could happen as a result of the hormones. 

i 110% do not regret my choice to start HRT when i did, am overall extremely happy with my transition so far, and plan to continue with it full speed ahead, but i do feel like it’s worth bringing up that some parts of this type of transition can be pretty difficult. be prepared, and do your research! (including anecdotal reports on online forums—i’ve learned more about HRT and had more of my questions answered by redditors than doctors at this point)

[transgender-history]

From TransSisters: The Journal of Transsexual Feminism issue 2 volume 2. 1993

[xixxvxx]

thirteen weeks on testosterone

... but my three months is tomorrow (!!!) so i’ll hold off on posting a bigger update until then

i will say that i had a good shot today... it was a busy morning—i drew my T in between doing laundry and picking up groceries, and injected after i got home from the store. in previous months when my injection anxiety was worse i’d sometimes sit with the needle in my hand for five or ten minutes before i could actually stick myself, but today i basically walked in the door, washed my hands, sat down, sanitized my belly, and injected right away, no stress. i’m proud of myself for having been intentional and patient enough with my past several shots to really turn my injection anxiety around 180º

[xixxvxx]

oh and i actually made a little video of my injection yesterday! so i will post that here once i’ve taken the time to edit / caption / transcribe / upload that to youtube :)

[xixxvxx]

twelve weeks on testosterone

new burst of chest/belly hair growth this past week—again feeling like i woke up one day and suddenly had a bunch of hair that wasn’t there the night before. the earliest new terminal hair growth i saw on T all began around my midline—now more is starting to appear on either side of my chest/belly too

thinking maybe my voice has dropped a bit again—there’ve been a couple of moments in the past week where i’ve said something to my roommate or hummed to myself and literally done a double take, like, whoa, did that come from me? (silly but i’m reminded of that bit from emperor’s new groove where yzma gets turned into a cat)

i now pass consistently in situations where my voice is the only thing strangers have to go on (i.e. over the phone, when i’m bundled up and masked, etc.)

[xixxvxx]

eleven weeks on testosterone

i was moving the week before last and didn’t have wifi from january 30th through february 7th, so unfortunately i couldn’t make a post for my ten week milestone, and this post is still four days late because my fatigue has been kicking my ass. sigh... it’ll just have to do

nsfw text and talk of menstruation under the cut

hair and skin:

my acne has been a lot less proliferous—i’ve been a little lazy about washing my face the past couple of weeks since i’ve had so much going on but i still haven’t noticed that much new acne, only a few spots here and there

i felt like new terminal hair growth was a little slower around my ninth/tenth week marks, but then i noticed some new hairs on my cheeks, chest, belly, and legs just a couple of days ago. my mustache in particular has also filled out a lot

body:

my voice is not cracking much right now. to my ears it’s seemed pretty stable for the past couple of weeks, though my partner has told me it sounds like it’s continually dropping to them. i am again feeling the tickling/irritation in my throat that preceded my first major voice drop, so maybe another is in my near future

this is super specific but in terms of fat redistribution i noticed recently that my mons pubis is way flatter. in general i feel like i’m noticing the fat on my body moving towards the front/center of my belly and away from most other areas

i’ve been so... so... hungry... it’s almost scary sometimes. i’ve said this in a previous post but i really must be eating two or three times as much food as i used to in a day. i don’t know where it goes. i don’t really seem to be gaining or losing weight outside of gradual muscle development

reproductive:

very aware lately of how much bottom growth i’ve seen—without getting too descriptive i think i’m about twice as big as i was pre-T

my sex drive has generally fluctuated alongside my fatigue and was notably a little lower during my ninth/tenth week but has felt a bit higher again this week—both in the sense of general physical arousal and in the sense that i feel more actively attracted to other people lately

the period i’d expected to have in january never came. it’s been over eight weeks since i got the first and only period i’ve had while on T. i am wondering if it’s safe to assume i’ve stopped menstruating—it’s hard to say because, as i’ve mentioned before, my cycle was always irregular to begin with

mood, energy, etc:

emotionally i’ve been a little all over the place lately, feeling some very high highs and low lows, though i think that could be due to changes in my life circumstances as much as it could be due to the hormones

noticing that i cry a little less than i did pre-T, which is not saying much because i used to cry at the drop of a hat

continuing to deal with spikes of irritation now and again, which are still very manageable

i’ve had some persistent low-level psychotic symptoms for the past couple of weeks, mostly minor visual/auditory disruptions, nothing too intense/out of the ordinary for me

i’ve been dealing with some pretty intense fatigue/brain fog/disorientation as of late but i did just move house while dealing with the worst chronic illness flare i’ve had in months so it’s probably that more than anything

[xixxvxx]

i didn’t post about it at the time because i didn’t have any wifi but a week ago (2/1) i noticed a bump at my injection site from my tenth shot (1/27) as i was undressing to take a shower. it was a firm knot, maybe ½″ or ¾″ across, painless to the touch and visually unremarkable on the surface, which moved with my skin/fat when i massaged my belly.

i was really scared by it at first because someone in my close family had a cancer diagnosis last year and my mind immediately leapt to that, but a little later i realized it was pretty close to my injection site from five days prior. i’d never noticed such a pronounced bump while doing my shots before, but i spoke to a friend who said they used to get bumps just like that when they did subcutaneous T injections, which eased my nerves a little.

it’s since pretty much disappeared—feeling my belly now (2/8) i can no longer identify where i felt the bump last week, nor can i feel a bump on the other side of my navel where i did my eleventh shot (2/3). it’s something i’ll be aware of in the future, though, and thought might be valuable to share

[xixxvxx]

nine weeks on testosterone

i just posted my two month update, so i don’t have anything new to report—instead i’ll take this opportunity to post about my shot today, which went better than any of my shots have gone in weeks! description of injection under the cut.

if you’ve read through my older posts you might recall that my first couple of shots went very well, and i hardly had any nerves about them as a result. unfortunately, over the course of the weeks that followed, i had a handful of very minor mishaps when it came time to do my shot, and those created a bit of an anxious association with the process.

i wasn’t intellectually bothered by the idea of giving myself an injection, since i’d done it before and knew it wasn’t hard or painful, but i started to have an automatic nervous response when i was about to put the needle in my skin. my heart rate would speed up and my hands would start shaking, and because of my jitters my shot would hurt a little—never more than a quick sting, but enough to reinforce that same anxious response the next time around.

i decided to try a few new things while doing my shot today and found that they significantly minimized my anxiety and improved the experience of injecting, so i thought i’d share!

i’ve come to realize that the smell of the alcohol wipes i use to sanitize my T vials and injection site makes me anxious, so i lit a little incense and a candle i really like to block it out and provide a relaxing scent

to get some fresh air, and to keep myself from getting too hot and ending up with sweaty hands (happened to me once, which made my shot painful), i opened a window and took off all my clothes except for my underwear. i laid out a cherished sweater and sweatpants to put on immediately after my shot

i left the radio on while i drew the shot, to have something to pay a little bit of attention to other than my anticipation

one thing that i’ve found has worked for me in the past couple of weeks is to do something in between drawing and injecting, instead of doing it all in one go, so i decided to continue with that habit. in the past couple of weeks i’ve taken a shower to relax during the break, but this time i decided to do something different—i quickly finished up an inquiry about a job posting i’d seen online and sent it, which required my full attention and took my mind off of the shot entirely

after that, i played some music—i’d heard a kaki king song on the radio a couple of nights ago that i thought was pleasant and calming, so i found it and put it on—while i prepped my injection site and band-aid

i carefully took the shot in my hand, uncapped and ready to inject, and, with music still quietly playing, i put on a one minute meditation program i had already pulled up—npr has one here, which they play throughout the week and which i already like—and i meditated alongside that, focusing on my body and calming myself

as soon the meditation was over, and before i had time to think about it any further, i pinched my injection site, counted down from three on a deep breath in, and injected on the exhale

once i’d taken the needle out and discarded it i put on my sweater and sweatpants and closed the window so i could get warm and comfortable

it went so well! the steps i took pretty thoroughly calmed me, so my hand did not shake as i injected myself, and i experienced virtually no pain, just like my first couple of shots. i’m feeling very proud of myself for identifying some of the things that were causing me anxiety and finding ways to address them, and very happy that my plan worked out!

[xixxvxx]

two months on testosterone

another late post… i started typing this one yesterday, i swear, i was just too busy to finish it. anyway—two months already—can’t believe it! here’s a recap of what’s changed since last month (mildly nsfw text and mention of menstruation under the cut)

skin:

skin is not much oilier than it was last month—i alternately have episodes where i’m breaking out and periods where i don’t have much acne—it’s still mostly just small, painless whiteheads, which go away pretty quickly if i wash my face and otherwise leave them alone

skin is slightly thicker—i’ve noticed i have to use a little more pressure when i do my shots now

nails are thicker and grow faster

hair:

twice as much fully grown terminal hair in the middle of my chest and belly as i had last month, with baby hairs coming in ALL over those areas

hair on my limbs is darker and denser

gaps in my goatee and sideburns filling in and those parts of my facial hair beginning to connect to each other/my mustache, with baby hairs all over my cheeks and chin

mustache is thicker (loving it)

almost positive my eyebrows are thicker (loving that too)

voice:

huge drop—my partner pointed out to me recently that it is now deeper than the voices of some cis men we know (talk about an ego boost!)

more fry to it—it’s kind of buzzy, not as smooth as it used to be

it’s leveled out a little and isn’t cracking as much as it was a couple of weeks ago

in the past day or two i’ve also begun feeling the slight tickling/irritation in my throat that i felt before it started dropping the first time, so i’m wondering if i should expect another big drop soon—we’ll see

body:

definite fat redistribution/loss and muscle definition/growth all around

chest has become very flat

shoulders and pecs have gotten wider, hips narrower—my frame is more “masculine”

thighs are a little slimmer—they used to be thicker at the top and taper towards the knee, but they’ve become a little more cylindrical/even in width across the length of the thigh

butt, god bless, does not seem to have gotten any smaller

still hungry all the time though my appetite has waxed and waned throughout the chronic illness flare i’ve been dealing with

pretty persistent cravings for certain foods—eggs, nuts, tofu, nooch, hearty green veggies, very spicy foods, sometimes chocolate

reproductive:

continuing to see bottom growth—not as explosive as it was my first month on T (really the amount i saw in the first few weeks was… astounding) but still continuing steadily (very happy with it)

not sure if my menstrual cycle has ceased—it’s now been over six weeks since i started my last period, so i’m certainly overdue by most standards, but my cycle’s always been irregular, so i’m not counting it out as a possibility (will update this post in the future to reflect whether or not i get my period in the next few weeks)

mental/emotional:

continuing to experience periodic irritability, still totally manageable

baseline mood/general anxiety level are BETTER than they were pre-T, easily, which i’ll talk a little more about below

minor uptick in episodic anxiety, some of my obsessive/compulsive behaviors, and some of my psychotic symptoms, but i’m certain these are all stress responses re: current life events, not effects of the T (and all things i am managing safely with the help of a therapist)

i am having a lot of trouble sleeping, but, again, i think this is stress- and also chronic pain-related

misc:

i am almost exclusively gendered as male in public now, even when i’m wearing my mask, which is wild. while i don’t identify strictly as a man, i will say that it’s still comforting/affirming somehow to see the way my gender is being read change as i continue to take T

lastly (verbose! schmaltzy! you’ve been warned):

the confidence/comfort T has afforded me has made... everything... easier. i was aware of my dysphoria pre-T, obviously, but i feel like i’ve become so much more aware of the extent to which it was affecting me now in contrast as T brings about the changes i’ve always wanted

the insecurity i used to have about the sound of my voice, which was always at the back of my mind when i talked to others—it’s just not there anymore, and in its absence holding conversation has become so much more natural and pleasant. it feels easier to laugh, share my thoughts, assert myself; i don’t hesitate to say things as much as i used to. i feel at ease interacting with people in a way i haven’t before—like something has just clicked

the insecurity i used to have about my appearance—i really feel it fade a little more every time i catch a glimpse of myself in the mirror. sometimes it’s a burst of euphoria upon noticing something new; sometimes it’s a tickle of anticipation as i consider how many more changes i will see in the coming months; sometimes it’s just a calm sense of, “alright, that’s right.” so so corny but i walk a little taller, little lighter

i think about myself less! dysphoric self-scrutiny used to take up so much of my energy. now a lot of that has just evaporated, and i feel like i have so much more of myself to pour into... everything else. it feels really good and really right. i leave this month once again with a deep sense of joy and gratitude that i made the decision to do this

[xixxvxx]

my voice two months on T! (last month and the month before for comparison)

[video ID: a white person wearing circular glasses, a black short-sleeved button down, a checkered dangling earring in their left ear, and a black beanie over their curly hair speaks into the microphone of a pair of headphones. they’re sitting in a white-walled bedroom with a shelving unit and few coats hanging behind them.]

[transcript: mm-kay. hi, it’s noah. back in brooklyn now. packing to move… that’s why the room looks so bare. it’s january 25th, 2021, which would make this the first log of this new year—happy new year—and this is my voice two months on T.]

[xixxvxx]

[photo ID: two nearly identical images of someone standing in a pale green-walled home bathroom, both taken head-on and cropped just below the navel. this person is white, with circular glasses, long curly hair in a ponytail, and a tattoo of keith haring’s untitled illustration of two figures holding a heart on their inner right forearm. in both pictures they are shirtless, though their chest is censored, and they are holding their arms up in a diamond shape, elbows bent and fingers linked above their head. the photos are only slightly different, as described below.]

this actually wasn’t planned, but while i was scrolling through the photo gallery on my phone the other day i noticed i’d happened to take these two pictures of myself in the same place and almost the exact same pose a couple of months apart, which i feel do a good job of illustrating how my (upper) body has changed on testosterone so far

photo on the left is pre-T (three days before my first shot, actually)—photo on the right is about a month and a half on T (a month and sixteen days, or six weeks and four days, to be exact)

you can see the beginnings of fat redistribution away from my chest and hips, as well as a little bit of muscle development in my chest, shoulders, and arms. i’ve been pretty committed to consistent upper body strength training in the past few months so that’s definitely a big part of it, but nevertheless i feel like my body’s changing faster than i expected (not a problem in my book!)

seeing these pictures side by side i also feel like my face definitely looks a little different… but i still can’t put my finger on what, exactly, is different about it—my eyebrows? my cheeks? not quite sure

[xixxvxx]

eight weeks on testosterone

... and once again this post is two days late—1/20 was my real eight weeks. i’m on the up-and-up but still dealing with a chronic illness flare and in the middle of packing to move to boot, so this week has been hectic to say the least.

my voice has continued to drop but it’s leveled out a little recently and isn’t cracking as much at the moment. i’m very happy with how deep it’s gotten so far—i can’t believe it’s still only in the relatively early stages of dropping. i’ll post a recording this coming monday for my two months. (!!)

i’m noting a lot of new facial hair growth. patches i had in my goatee pre-T are filling in, and new hairs are starting to bridge the gaps between my sideburns, goatee and mustache. i’ve had a lot more acne on my face too, as well as my chest, which, as i think i’ve mentioned before, my therapist has said is a very normal thing to see before new terminal hair growth. 

a little more musing on new hairs under the cut.

i feel like i’ve noticed that the growth of new terminal hairs on my body is usually preceded by intermediate hairs which are clearly not vellus hairs but not immediately as dark or thick as most body/facial hair.

on my face, i’ve gotten some hairs which were light in color and didn’t grow much at first, but were stiffer than vellus hairs, which then became darker and started growing more quickly along with the rest of my facial hair. on my chest and belly, i’ve gotten some hairs which were fine in texture but clearly darker than vellus hairs at first appearance, which have since grown to become long and coarse like the rest of my body hair.

if these intermediate hairs are good predictors of where my new hair will grow, i see a lot of them on my cheeks and jawline, and in the middle of my chin and under my lower lip where my goatee doesn’t currently grow; and i see them ALL over my chest and belly... which is so exciting! we’ll see what that all looks like a few months down the line...

[xixxvxx]

seven weeks on testosterone

my appetite and sex drive have both been a little mellower this week, though i’m positive that has to do with my pain/fatigue. i think i’m in the middle of a chronic illness flare—i’m experiencing aches and inflammation in my ankles, nerve pain in my back, a good deal of brain fog, and some gastrointestinal distress. i highly doubt it has anything to do with the T—i’ve been experiencing flares like this for the past six or seven years—but it still sucks

it has been about a month since my last period, and though my cycle hasn’t necessarily been that regular in the past, i’m wondering if some of the discomfort i’m feeling could be PMS, since it’s quite possible i’m still menstruating. interestingly, though, i’ve been less irritable this past week than i was in previous weeks—not characteristic of me when i’m premenstrual or in pain (i’m a pretty calm person but PMS and pain flares will make me a grump). so who knows

i haven’t really been working out for the past several days—i try not to push my body when it’s hurting—but i did hit a new strength milestone last week: after the past seven weeks of slowly working up to it with push-ups and rows, i’m finally able to do a chin-up :)