Amaranthine

 [hiatus] The past was a bittersweet memory, the present is misery, the future is a mystery, but doesn't history only repeat itself? Post-Lilium AU RP Blog for Lindou このブログはただのロールプレーブログです。実在の 竜胆 / 譜久村聖 ではありません。  

[idolsociety]

morning musume ‘16 fall tour: my vision

[xlindou]

While sorting through a few things in his room, Dariel had come across something he’d completely forgotten about. At first, he was unbothered, but then he remembered that it didn't really belong to him— and he was able to return it now. Suddenly excited to share what he’d found, Dariel immediately went in search of Lindou, eventually finding her in the library. “Lindou!” he exclaimed, temporarily forgetting that he was supposed to be quiet here. “I have a surprise for you."

When Lindou went to the library, she was usually lost in one of her history books, and today was no different. She was in the middle of a sentence when she heard a familiar voice call her name rather loudly, which was odd considering she was in a library. Glancing up from her book she saw who it was and heard why he’d come to her so urgently. “I’m glad to hear there’s nothing wrong,” She admitted, marking her spot in the book and placing it on the adjacent table. “A surprise? What is it?”

[xlindou]

angexlarme:

Once he’d asked and Lindou agreed to it, Dariel took the pin back from her and fixed it where she had asked. “You wouldn’t think it’s so old. It looks exactly the same, even after all this time,” he commented with a smile, securing it and taking a step back. Admittedly, he hadn’t realised until now that he’d missed seeing it being worn. “There.”

Now that it was returned and the whole surprise was over, Dariel remembered that when he’d come to find Lindou, she had been doing something else and he’d promised that they wouldn’t take long. So, he assumed that she would want to return soon. “Did you want to go back to the library now?” he asked. “If you are, I’ll come with you. I have some books to take there.”

When Dariel commented on the condition of the pin, Lindou was also surprised that it’d lasted this long with minimal changes. She’d always taken care of it, regardless of whether she could remember why she’d worn it or not. Once it was in place, Lindou turned towards the mirror to see how it looked. As soon as she saw her reflection, she smiled at the sight of the pin back in its usual place. “It’s perfect.”

Lindou turned, smiling at him before hearing his request to head back to the library. Since they had nothing more to do here, and Lindou left her book in the library in the middle of reading it, it would be the best to return there. “We can head back now,” Lindou paused, remembering something from the not so distant past that would be appropriate to bring up now. “But... don’t try to carry too many like I did that time.”

[xlindou]

While sorting through a few things in his room, Dariel had come across something he’d completely forgotten about. At first, he was unbothered, but then he remembered that it didn't really belong to him— and he was able to return it now. Suddenly excited to share what he’d found, Dariel immediately went in search of Lindou, eventually finding her in the library. “Lindou!” he exclaimed, temporarily forgetting that he was supposed to be quiet here. “I have a surprise for you."

When Lindou went to the library, she was usually lost in one of her history books, and today was no different. She was in the middle of a sentence when she heard a familiar voice call her name rather loudly, which was odd considering she was in a library. Glancing up from her book she saw who it was and heard why he’d come to her so urgently. “I’m glad to hear there’s nothing wrong,” She admitted, marking her spot in the book and placing it on the adjacent table. “A surprise? What is it?”

[xlindou]

angexlarme:

Any concerns that Dariel had were short-lived, since he was soon reassured that this wasn’t a huge mistake. Had Lindou not wanted to keep the pin, he wouldn’t have known how to react or what to do with it afterwards, so it was quite a relief that he wouldn’t have to think about those kinds of things. “I’m glad that you do.”

When the pin had been returned to him all those months ago, Dariel had assumed then that he’d be the one to keep it forever, and had ended up forgetting about it entirely. Being able to give it back to Lindou had seemed impossible. He thought it probably wasn’t as special a moment as it had been when he’d first given her the pin, so to hear such words from her made him just as happy. “Me too…” he admitted. “Should I put it on for you?”

Out of all the pieces of jewelry Lindou owned, this one had always been her favorite. It wasn’t the most ornate or colorful in any way. In fact, it was relatively simple, but Lindou loved it regardless because of the meaning behind it. Therefore, the answer to Dariel’s question would be obvious since she’d missed wearing it for so long, and didn’t mind the gesture he was offering. “You can.”

Holding out her hand, she handed the pin to Dariel before pushing her hair back behind her shoulders so it wasn’t in the way since she’d always worn it near her neck. “Right here... Where I used to wear it before.” Lindou pointed to the spot where she wanted it before trying to remain as still as possible so Dariel could set it in place.

[xlindou]

While sorting through a few things in his room, Dariel had come across something he’d completely forgotten about. At first, he was unbothered, but then he remembered that it didn't really belong to him— and he was able to return it now. Suddenly excited to share what he’d found, Dariel immediately went in search of Lindou, eventually finding her in the library. “Lindou!” he exclaimed, temporarily forgetting that he was supposed to be quiet here. “I have a surprise for you."

When Lindou went to the library, she was usually lost in one of her history books, and today was no different. She was in the middle of a sentence when she heard a familiar voice call her name rather loudly, which was odd considering she was in a library. Glancing up from her book she saw who it was and heard why he’d come to her so urgently. “I’m glad to hear there’s nothing wrong,” She admitted, marking her spot in the book and placing it on the adjacent table. “A surprise? What is it?”

[xlindou]

angexlarme:

For a moment, Dariel’s excitement subsided as he waited to see Lindou’s reaction. Truthfully, while he’d been eager for her to have the pin back, he wasn’t so sure whether she would actually accept it back. Once she’d seen the pin, he couldn’t really tell what she thought of it. “I didn’t want to get rid of it. Since it was a family piece, and besides– it’s not mine to decide what to do with it. It belongs to you.”

He paused, beginning to wonder whether this had been a good idea after all. “I thought you’d like to have it back now… after everything that’s happened. But if you don’t want to keep it, that’s okay too.”

Truthfully, Lindou had acted mainly on impulse and fear when she’d returned the pin to him, even missing its presence in the days that followed. So, it felt surreal yet fitting to have it back. Realizing her reaction left Dariel somewhat concerned, Lindou could only shake her head. “No, I want to keep it. I really do.”

Back then, Lindou’d felt special receiving the pin, since it’d been passed down through his family. At that time, she’d felt like being given it was a way of saying she was part of his family, in a way. While it didn’t have that exact impact now since circumstances had changed, it still left her with a very warm and happy feeling. “You’re so sweet, I... I’m so happy.” 

[xlindou]

While sorting through a few things in his room, Dariel had come across something he’d completely forgotten about. At first, he was unbothered, but then he remembered that it didn't really belong to him— and he was able to return it now. Suddenly excited to share what he’d found, Dariel immediately went in search of Lindou, eventually finding her in the library. “Lindou!” he exclaimed, temporarily forgetting that he was supposed to be quiet here. “I have a surprise for you."

When Lindou went to the library, she was usually lost in one of her history books, and today was no different. She was in the middle of a sentence when she heard a familiar voice call her name rather loudly, which was odd considering she was in a library. Glancing up from her book she saw who it was and heard why he’d come to her so urgently. “I’m glad to hear there’s nothing wrong,” She admitted, marking her spot in the book and placing it on the adjacent table. “A surprise? What is it?”

[xlindou]

angexlarme:

Dariel waited until he was certain that Lindou wasn’t going to attempt to look, then took a step back. “It’s not going to be anything weird,” he assured, going to retrieve the pin from the drawer where he had found it earlier. It had been sitting there untouched for quite some time, so he quickly brushed it off with his thumb before returning to where Lindou was. Taking one of her hands, he placed the pin into her palm, and closed her free hand over it. “You can look now.”

As Lindou waited, she listened to Dariel move around the room and open a drawer. However, her mind remained blank as to what the surprise could be. “What are you do-” She began to ask, but cut herself off when she felt the object fall into her hand. Soon enough, she opened her hand to see what he’d given her. At first, her eyes widened at the sight of it as she glanced back and forth between Dariel and the pin. It took no time for her to recognize it since she’d worn it everyday up until his arrival at Clan. After all this time, she’d nearly forgotten about it.

“You kept it? After all this time?”

[xlindou]

While sorting through a few things in his room, Dariel had come across something he’d completely forgotten about. At first, he was unbothered, but then he remembered that it didn't really belong to him— and he was able to return it now. Suddenly excited to share what he’d found, Dariel immediately went in search of Lindou, eventually finding her in the library. “Lindou!” he exclaimed, temporarily forgetting that he was supposed to be quiet here. “I have a surprise for you."

When Lindou went to the library, she was usually lost in one of her history books, and today was no different. She was in the middle of a sentence when she heard a familiar voice call her name rather loudly, which was odd considering she was in a library. Glancing up from her book she saw who it was and heard why he’d come to her so urgently. “I’m glad to hear there’s nothing wrong,” She admitted, marking her spot in the book and placing it on the adjacent table. “A surprise? What is it?”

[xlindou]

angexlarme:

“It’s in my room.” With that, Dariel began to leave the library, expecting Lindou to follow. As they headed towards his room, he couldn’t help but walk a little faster than usual, as he was so eager to get back. Once they were there, Dariel wondered if Lindou had managed to figure out what it was in the meantime, but it was soon clear that she hadn’t. “Okay. You have to close your eyes.” he said, then held out his hands. “Oh, and hold your hands out like this. No looking, or you’ll ruin it.”

Once Dariel said where the surprise was, Lindou followed him out of the library, quickening her pace to keep up with him. When they arrived, Lindou glanced around the room, unsure if the surprise would already be there waiting for her. However, it was clear that it was something she’d have to continue to wait for.  “Okay...” She agreed, closing her eyes and holding her hands out. She couldn’t help but laugh a little since it felt ridiculous. “Don’t do anything weird.”

[xlindou]

While sorting through a few things in his room, Dariel had come across something he’d completely forgotten about. At first, he was unbothered, but then he remembered that it didn't really belong to him— and he was able to return it now. Suddenly excited to share what he’d found, Dariel immediately went in search of Lindou, eventually finding her in the library. “Lindou!” he exclaimed, temporarily forgetting that he was supposed to be quiet here. “I have a surprise for you."

When Lindou went to the library, she was usually lost in one of her history books, and today was no different. She was in the middle of a sentence when she heard a familiar voice call her name rather loudly, which was odd considering she was in a library. Glancing up from her book she saw who it was and heard why he’d come to her so urgently. “I’m glad to hear there’s nothing wrong,” She admitted, marking her spot in the book and placing it on the adjacent table. “A surprise? What is it?”

[angexlarme-blog]

Luckily, there was no one around who was close enough to pay any attention to Dariel being a little too loud, so he just pretended he hadn’t been and continued on as normal. “Well…” he began, pausing to think of how he could explain himself without hinting anything. “I’m not going to tell you, of course. You’ll have to leave the library for a minute to find out. It won’t take long.” He hadn’t brought the surprise along with him, so there wasn’t any other choice. “It’s something good,” he added, just in case she’d be anxious of what to expect.

[xlindou]

Hearing that she’d have to leave the library, Lindou stood from her spot, not minding it at all since a break from her reading wouldn’t hurt. “Alright. I’ll see what your surprise is.” She hadn’t expected it to be anything bad, seeing how excited Dariel been to find her, but it was a relief to hear him admit that it would be something good. Truthfully, Lindou wasn’t sure what to expect. There weren’t any holidays in the coming days, so she was left with no idea of what it could be. “Where is the surprise?”

[xlindou]

While sorting through a few things in his room, Dariel had come across something he’d completely forgotten about. At first, he was unbothered, but then he remembered that it didn't really belong to him— and he was able to return it now. Suddenly excited to share what he’d found, Dariel immediately went in search of Lindou, eventually finding her in the library. “Lindou!” he exclaimed, temporarily forgetting that he was supposed to be quiet here. “I have a surprise for you."

When Lindou went to the library, she was usually lost in one of her history books, and today was no different. She was in the middle of a sentence when she heard a familiar voice call her name rather loudly, which was odd considering she was in a library. Glancing up from her book she saw who it was and heard why he’d come to her so urgently. “I’m glad to hear there’s nothing wrong,” She admitted, marking her spot in the book and placing it on the adjacent table. “A surprise? What is it?”

[xlindou]

xsilane:

Soon enough, they got to find out what extra things had been brought home for them. Silane was handed a plush rabbit, which she instantly got excited about. “Wow, it’s a rabbit!” she exclaimed, giving the toy a hug. In that moment, she was so happy with the gift that she didn’t mind in the slightest that it was only a toy, and not a real one. “Thank you!”

Silane looked over to Lindou to see what she’d been given, and although she couldn’t tell what it was, she thought it looked quite pretty. Their mother hadn’t seemed best pleased with their father up until now, but she quickly changed her mind when he handed a new book to her. Everyone was happy, but a sudden thought came to Silane and she spoke up. “If this is our pet… do I have to share with everyone?”

While everyone busied themselves with their gifts, Lindou turned the globe over in her hands, studying the detail that had been put into it. She was about to excuse herself to go set it in her room but was stopped by Silane’s question. Something that seemed so obvious to Lindou understandably wasn’t to a child, so she knelt at Silane’s level. “I think it should just be yours, don’t you think? You love rabbits so much, so it only makes sense.”

Despite the fact that the rabbit was only a toy, Lindou was happy to see Silane so overjoyed. Briefly, she glanced back over her shoulder at their father, thankful that he cared for each of them so much. “Did you think of a name for your rabbit yet?” 

[xlindou]

xsilane:

Their father usually wasn’t one to firmly say no to something, so while his answer wasn’t the answer Silane was hoping for, it was still better than nothing. Silane turned to glance at Lindou with an excited expression, before looking back to her father. “I’m going to be really good then, so we can have a pet.”

A couple of weeks passed and Silane had tried her best to be well-behaved, but when no pet of any kind had appeared she’d come to the conclusion that maybe their parents had decided against it after all. One day, their father was sent out to collect a few things by their mother, but he returned home with evidently more than what he’d been asked to buy and Silane was immediately curious. “What did you get?”

As the weeks passed, Lindou noticed that Silane tried to be on her best behavior, causing Lindou to wonder if their parents would eventually decide to reward Silane for her efforts. One day, their father returned to the house with more than they’d expected him to bring. Eager to see what he’d gotten, Lindou peered at the objects in his hands from behind Silane. 

While it wasn’t a real rabbit, he handed Silane a stuffed rabbit, which was very adorable. “That’s so cute! Now you have your own rabbit.” Since Lindou hadn’t asked for anything recently, she was surprised that her father handed her a small globe statue. For a moment, she didn’t say anything, only grateful that he would go out of his way to buy something for her that he knew she’d like. “Thank you. I think I have a spot in my room where I can put this.”

[xlindou]

xsilane:

Silane shook her head no to Lindou’s question, entirely comfortable with just watching. Even after she’d been shown that it was perfectly okay, she simply waited until the rabbit had lost interest in eating and joined her in petting it again. “Then can we keep it as a pet?” Since it seemed to like them both a lot, she imagined it would be nice for the rabbit to stay with them and play in the garden whenever it wanted to.

However, the rabbit also began to lose interest in them too, and much to Silane’s disappointment, hopped away through the fence. “Aww… it left,” she said, but she soon had other ideas. “But we can ask for another one!” Getting up from her spot, she ran over to their father, who had momentarily paused his gardening to watch the two playing. “Did you see the rabbit?” Silane asked, somewhat eagerly. “Can we get one as a pet? Plea–se?”

When Silane asked about having the rabbit as a pet, Lindou couldn’t help but crack a smile. It was inevitable for her to ask, since Silane loved animals and dreamt about having one as a pet. “It would be nice... But, I don’t know.” Even if they could get a pet, this rabbit probably wasn’t the best choice since it was wild and probably had a family of its own. 

Lindou expected Silane to get upset as soon as the rabbit left, but to her surprise, she soon occupied herself with asking their father about the rabbit. Since they had no means to take care of an animal, Lindou knew her father would have to politely decline Silane’s request. As she expected, he told her that if she was good, maybe they could get one. 

[xlindou]

xsilane:

After quickly looking behind to see if Lindou was coming over, Silane turned her attention back to the rabbit and held a hand out to it. When it moved close enough for her to be able to pet it, the child was delighted. “It’s saying hello!” she said, eyes lighting up. While she thought it’d be nice for them to feed the rabbit, she was a little worried that it might run off elsewhere if they both went to find some food. “You can stay here and play with the rabbit, and I’ll go get a carrot,” Silane decided, getting up and running off inside.

It didn’t take her long to find one, so she reappeared outside in almost no time at all. “Look, we got you a carrot. Do you want some?” she asked the rabbit, kneeling down in front of it again. Although she liked most animals a lot, Silane had never fed one before and was a little hesitant about it, so she handed the carrot over to Lindou and watched instead.

At Silane’s direction, Lindou stayed with the rabbit, holding out her hand so that the rabbit could sniff it. Once it came closer, she cautiously pet it, not wanting to scare it off before they got the chance to feed it. A few moments later, Silane returned with a carrot. Surprised that Silane didn’t want to feed it herself, Lindou hesitantly took into her hands. “You’re sure you don’t want to try?” However, knowing Silane had never had the chance to do this before, Lindou could understand her uncertainty. 

Once she was sure, Lindou held the carrot out to the rabbit. Much to her relief, the rabbit eventually began to nibble at the carrot. “See? It’s not so scary.” In time, the carrot lost the rabbit’s attention, so Lindou dropped it near the rabbit and resumed petting it. “I think it likes you, Silane.”

[xsilane]

@adxnauseam

Although it was the beginning of spring, the weather hadn’t been particularly good for quite some time. At the first signs of clear skies and sun, the whole family had immediately taken to spending the majority of their day out in the garden. For most of that time, Silane had been fashioning a rather long daisy chain, while telling all sorts of made-up stories to her mother, who sat nearby reading a book.

Since the house was so close to the woodland that surrounded the village, it wasn’t uncommon for small animals to make an appearance in their garden. So, when a rabbit found its way through the fence, it instantly caught Silane’s attention. “It’s a rabbit!” she exclaimed, abandoning her daisy chain without hesitation. As she slowly moved closer, the animal didn’t seem scared or try to run away, so she excitedly called for her older sister to come and see. “Lindou, come look at the rabbit…”

[xlindou]

After a winter that endured for quite some time, Lindou was happy to find that it was finally warm enough for her to spend time outside. So, like the rest of her family, Lindou found herself sitting outside in the garden enjoying the spring. On this day in particular, Lindou was sitting by the garden making a flower crown. Rather than speaking to anyone, she watched as her father went from flowerbed to flowerbed, tending to the different areas of the garden. 

Lindou was starting to zone out, until she heard Silane call her name. Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Silane approaching a small rabbit. Discarding the flower crown in the grass, she crossed the garden to where Silane was and crouched down next to her. “It’s really cute, isn’t it? Maybe we can get some carrots and try to feed it.”

[angexlarme-blog]

Because she’d grown rather bored of the indoors, Lindou decided she would take a walk outside, despite the cold weather. To her surprise, she wasn’t the only person who decided to take to the outdoors that day. As she got closer to the wall, she noticed who was there and was surprised that they specifically had come outside. “… I thought you hated the cold. What are you doing out here?”

Although the weather was a little cold forhis liking, Dariel had opted for a change of scenery and headed outsideto sit at his favourite spot on the garden wall. He hadn’t been there too long when he heard afamiliar voice, turning round to see Lindou looking up at him. “I wanted a change,” he answered, hopping down from the wall so he could talk to herproperly. “Did you need me for something?”

[xlindou]

angexlarme:

Now that everything had been said, there was no need for Dariel to feel at all anxious about what Lindou’s response would be. Although, the reality of it still hadn’t completely hit him, and he almost expected to suddenly wake up in his own room and realise that this had been a dream all along. But once she moved towards him and he was pulled into a hug, it finally occurred to him that this was completely real.

Since he’d returned, Dariel had never really understood why he’d been allowed to live again. For a long time, it had seemed like there was no real reason for him to be here, to a point where he’d constantly thought about leaving and that there would never be enjoyment in living here. But now that the tension and the problems between himself and Lindou had finally completely cleared, it was a chance to start anew. Maybe, with a reason to be here, he could begin to truly enjoy his life in Clan.

However, as happy as Dariel would’ve been to stay like this, the two had been outside for quite some time and he was beginning to feel the cold much more than he had before. So, once they pulled apart, Dariel offered his hand out to Lindou. “Should we go back inside?”

Even when the two pulled away from each other, the smile remained on Lindou’s face. Despite the cold, she would’ve been happy to remain outside just to savor the moment. However, Lindou’s face had begun to turn red and she’d started to shiver, telling her that she’d spent enough time in the cold. 

When Dariel stretched his hand out to her, Lindou hesitated at first. But, Lindou had to remind herself that Dariel did return her feelings and that there was no reason to be afraid of what was happening. Glancing up at him, she finally held his hand, feeling her smile involuntarily grow. Embarrassed, she glanced towards the sanatorium, sighing that they’d have to walk through all the snow to get back inside.

“We should. It’s gotten really cold.” As they made their way indoors, Lindou couldn’t help but feel bittersweet. On one hand, she was happy she’d finally admitted her feelings. On the other hand, she was sad that the moment they shared would soon come to an end once they were indoors. But, there would surely be more happy moments to come.

[angexlarme-blog]

Because she’d grown rather bored of the indoors, Lindou decided she would take a walk outside, despite the cold weather. To her surprise, she wasn’t the only person who decided to take to the outdoors that day. As she got closer to the wall, she noticed who was there and was surprised that they specifically had come outside. “… I thought you hated the cold. What are you doing out here?”

Although the weather was a little cold forhis liking, Dariel had opted for a change of scenery and headed outsideto sit at his favourite spot on the garden wall. He hadn’t been there too long when he heard afamiliar voice, turning round to see Lindou looking up at him. “I wanted a change,” he answered, hopping down from the wall so he could talk to herproperly. “Did you need me for something?”

[xlindou]

angexlarme:

At first, Dariel thought it sounded a lot like Lindou was about to agree with him, realise that this was an impulsive decision, and suddenly take back what she’d just said. Keeping quiet, he avoided her eyes and glanced down at his hands, mentally preparing for her to do just that– but she didn’t. Instead, what Lindou said next brought his attention back to her.

While she didn’t go into detail, there was no need to. It was enough for him to understand. This wasn’t rushed at all, and it was clear that she’d thought about it more than enough. Finally, his hesitation began to fade. Ever since she’d confided in him, he had disliked the idea of past events being a burden on her, and that he couldn’t seem to do anything to help. So, if Lindou was now able to view them differently, then he could feel better about it, too.

“I see…” As Dariel slowly came to realise what was actually happening, he turned away again, but this time he was unable to keep himself from smiling. When he had come to Clan, even being friends again had seemed like an impossibility at first, let alone this. Once he’d composed himself, he managed to look back up at Lindou, his smile still present. “If you’re sure, and you’re happy… then I’m happy.”

For awhile, there was silence after Lindou explained herself. Since it had been such a vague explanation, she wasn’t sure if he’d understood completely. Soon enough, Dariel spoke, indicating that he understood what she tried to explain. However, his expression stayed hidden from her, so she was unsure what to say or do.

It wasn’t long before she could see the smile on Dariel’s face. His words resonated with her, as she’d never imagined she’d feel like this again. For years, Lindou had felt a sense of despair, like happiness and acceptance of the past were things she could only imagine and never reach. Yet, somehow she was able to attain what she once thought was impossible. Finally, a smile appeared on her own face, her hands dropping to her sides from their clenched, rigid position. Taking a few steps towards Dariel, she managed to close the space between the two of them. At first, Lindou hesitated but in time, her arms wrapped around him. In this moment, all the anxiety she’d felt leading up to this conversation dissipated away and was replaced by relief and happiness.

“I’m happy too,” She exhaled, resting her head against his shoulder. She could hardly believe what was happening, since it had seemed so unlikely in the past that they’d even speak to each other, much less befriend each other. Yet now, here they were, all because of her courage and his acceptance. “Thank you for accepting me,” She murmured, before finally pulling away.

[angexlarme-blog]

Because she’d grown rather bored of the indoors, Lindou decided she would take a walk outside, despite the cold weather. To her surprise, she wasn’t the only person who decided to take to the outdoors that day. As she got closer to the wall, she noticed who was there and was surprised that they specifically had come outside. “… I thought you hated the cold. What are you doing out here?”

Although the weather was a little cold forhis liking, Dariel had opted for a change of scenery and headed outsideto sit at his favourite spot on the garden wall. He hadn’t been there too long when he heard afamiliar voice, turning round to see Lindou looking up at him. “I wanted a change,” he answered, hopping down from the wall so he could talk to herproperly. “Did you need me for something?”

[xlindou]

angexlarme:

Now that Dariel knew that he was just overthinking things and Lindou was entirely serious, he almost felt bad for even doubting whether her words were the truth. However, he could tell now that his lack of a direct response was beginning to concern her, so rather than apologise for questioning her feelings, he needed to say something soon.

“It’s not that I don’t return your feelings.” he said eventually, shifting on his feet. “I do feel the same way, and I have for a little while, but…” Dariel hesitated, wondering how he could phrase what he wanted to say, without sounding as if he was about to reject her. Of course, mutual feelings towards each other was what Dariel wanted, but only if it wasn’t an abrupt or forced decision on Lindou’s part.

“It’s just, with everything that happened before, the situation you told me about…” He didn’t want to say it outright, but he figured she’d know exactly what he was referring to. “If you aren’t ready to move on yet, then you don’t have to rush things. I just want you to be sure that you’re making the right decision for yourself… that’s all.”

As Lindou awaited a response, she couldn’t help but think of reasons that Dariel wouldn’t return her feelings. The major reason in her mind was how she’d changed since they knew each other before. For a moment, Lindou couldn’t fathom him being able to care about both her past self and current self in that way. The words Dariel spoke should have made her happy. But, she noticed he still seemed rather hesitant, causing her to assume there must’ve been something wrong. Soon enough, he revealed what the issue was, which Lindou could understand. Not long ago, it’d been something holding her back from having this conversation. 

“You’re not wrong. It has been rather difficult,” Lindou began. While that was the truth, she’d already begun to understand the past and understand how it wasn’t something she needed to burden herself with so much. “I’ve thought about it a lot recently and I realized something I should have realized awhile ago.” While Lindou had thought about her dilemma, she had never spoken about it in too much depth. So, Lindou began wandering physically from her spot, taking a few steps towards the trees. Once she’d decided what to say, she turned once more to face Dariel.

“I can’t forget about everything completely. It’s just not possible for anyone to do, but I realized that the two of you just aren’t the same. The way I feel is... different,” She said, not exactly able to explain much more. What she’d come to realize about the past was not exactly something she wanted to verbalize, so she’d leave it at that and hope he understood.  “It isn’t the easiest thing to explain, but I feel better about everything that happened.”

[angexlarme-blog]

Because she’d grown rather bored of the indoors, Lindou decided she would take a walk outside, despite the cold weather. To her surprise, she wasn’t the only person who decided to take to the outdoors that day. As she got closer to the wall, she noticed who was there and was surprised that they specifically had come outside. “… I thought you hated the cold. What are you doing out here?”

Although the weather was a little cold forhis liking, Dariel had opted for a change of scenery and headed outsideto sit at his favourite spot on the garden wall. He hadn’t been there too long when he heard afamiliar voice, turning round to see Lindou looking up at him. “I wanted a change,” he answered, hopping down from the wall so he could talk to herproperly. “Did you need me for something?”

[xlindou]

angexlarme:

While Dariel had hoped that asking questions would give him a little more idea of what to think, it only left him just as clueless as he’d been before. All he could do for the moment, was to keep his eyes on Lindou and just wait as long as it took for her to say what needed to be said.

For a long time, Dariel had kept extremely private about his feelings and hadn’t said a word to anyone, believing it was better if he didn’t say anything at all. He had his assumptions at times, but he didn’t want to hold his hopes too high or expect anything from Lindou in case he would end up disappointed. He’d imagined that if this were to ever happen, happiness would be the first thing he felt. 

But strangely enough, rather than happiness, he felt more skeptical than anything else. Dariel knew he felt the same way, and he’d wanted his feelings to be returned, but somehow, he couldn’t simply accept her words right away. Although he knew it wasn’t like Lindou to pull such an act, especially not about something like this, in that moment he couldn’t help but wonder if it was a joke. “Lindou, are–” he began, stumbling slightly over his words. “Are you… serious?”

Once Lindou had spoken, she was unsure what exactly to expect from Dariel. If she had to guess, she would have assumed he would have stated if he returned her feelings or not. His response, however, was far from what she expected. Of course she was serious, but since her statement had come out of nowhere, perhaps it was difficult to believe and respond to right away. Lindou knew that if the reverse had occurred, she would have been caught off guard too.

“I’m serious... I wouldn’t joke about something like this.” With that being said, Dariel’s question indicated no sort of direct response to her feelings, so she couldn’t help but worry that she’d be rejected soon enough. Finally, she raised her gaze to look at him, unsure what to say at this point. She’d finally admitted how she felt, but instead of relief, she now felt vulnerable since she had no clue if Dariel returned her feelings. 

“... It’s okay if you don’t feel the same way. I just wanted to let you know,” She reiterated. With nothing more to say, Lindou could only stand there in silence, waiting for Dariel’s response.