i lay here, on the floor of my shower, and listen as my brain slowly deteriorates my remembrance of today
it was a good day, but now I lay manic
for reasons unbeknownst to me
i play depressing instrumentals on a speaker to help me extract my emotions from the pores of my soul but it’s not doing much
i wish to cry
i wish to find the source of my mania but I only find emptiness
i don’t know what to search for or what to think of, so my brain lies silent
an empty abyss of insensible, heedless sorrow.
i wish to be a crow
perched perfectly on a hillside looking about a meadow of wildflowers and pine trees
but instead I lay, a 23 year old human, on a shower floor, on the third story of an apartment building
just wishing
just mindlessly wishing to be other
