Luceo Non Uro

have courage and be kind for where there is kindness there is goodness and where there is goodness there is magic Mary MacDonald. Nineteen. Muggle-born. Gryffindor Alumni. 2 x Healer Applicant Reject. Part-time assistant in various shops.

[xmarymac]

the-great-mr-rosier:

I do not have a clue what bowling is, so it is probably a perfect idea. I’m not entirely sure about this casual thing however. I can maybe come without a jacket.

Close enough. It’s hard to imagine you blending in anyways. 

[xmarymac]

I'm never going to articulate this correctly, and I'm unaware of the terms we left on, considering we had to depart so quickly, but would you like to see each other again? In secret, obviously.

Mary read the short note with mixed feelings. His formal words had her sighing and rolling her eyes, the reminder that they had to be a secret made her queasy, but her desire to see him again outweighed it all. So she wrote back,

Yes, of course I’d like to see you again. Does meeting in Muggle London count as meeting in secret? If so, have you ever been bowling? PS, No one wears suits bowling. It’s a causal type of event.

[onehandsomedog-blog]

He made a scoffing sound, patting her hand lightly at her declaration. “Of course you can, Darling.” He chuckled, motioning for the waiter to bring two more drinks over to the table.

“But I wasn’t talking about the alcohol.”

[xmarymac]

She shook her head and laughed slightly at Sirius’s condensation. Mary liked to think that she was above trying prove her alcohol tolerance when someone doubted it, so she fiddled with the glass that the waited placed in front of her, instead of drinking it. “Okay, then what were you talking about?” 

[xmarymac]

Mary didn’t turn around to face the customer that had asked her a question. She was struggling with resetting the window display as a kid had knocked it over earlier. "Sorry, what did you say you were looking for?” she asked as she balanced the props.

[onehandsomedog-blog]

A playful grin spread over his features as he turned, eyes dark with mischief. It didn’t matter who had stumbled upon his corner. He was simply happy to be out for the night, planning his next bout of pranks with his best friends. 

“You’ll want to pull up a chair,” he claimed, grin widening as he saw who had found him. “This one will knock y’off your feet.”

[xmarymac]

Mary rolled her eyes but did as she was instructed and pulled up a chair to sit with Sirius. “What will knock me off my feet? The drink? Contrary to popular belief: I can hold my alcohol.”

[xmarymac]

Evary: Year One - Owlery

She was pretty sure mailing a letter home was not supposed to be this hard.

First of all, writing with a feather and pot of ink was a thousand times harder and messier than the muggle equivalents of pencils and pens. Secondly, scrolled parchment paper had a tendency of rolling up before she was done with it and before the ink was dry. If that wasn’t enough trouble, now the school owls refused to listen to her.

“Hey! Owl!” cried out the small 11th year, waving her rolled up letter in the air. “Please? One of you? Any of you?” She had been trying for the last 15 minutes to convince one of the school owls to come down, and she was ready to cry with frustration.

“They’re never going come down with you jumping and shouting like that,” said a new voice, startling the girl. She had thought she was alone, and was embarrassed that someone was around to witness her failure at something as simple as sending a letter.

She turned towards the voice, seeing a boy she thought looked to be her age. The green accents on his robes put her on the defensive. Though new to this prejudiced world, she already knew that staying away from Slytherins was in her best interest. “Then what do you suggest?” she asked, hands on her hips.

He looked at her silently as he stepped forward. Calmly, he stretched out his arm. Almost instantly a barn owl swooped down and landed on his hand.

“H-how?” the girl stuttered out, amazed.

“All birds spook easily. Try being still and quiet next time,” he shrugged and gestured for her to come close. “I’m guessing you’ve never used an owl before? Come here, I’ll show you how to properly tie the letter to his foot.” There was no judgment or condescension in his offer, so she moved closer and let him hand her the owl.

“Mary,” she blurted out without preamble, “I’m Mary Macdonald.”

“I know,”he said simply. “Evan Rosier.”

“Thanks for your help, Evan.”

“Anytime, Mary.”

[xmarymac]

Evary: Year Two - Black Lake

“That's disgusting!” The exclamation from Mary was equal parts laughter and horror.Evan sounded smug as he said, “I told you not to eat it.”

“I was so certain it was something like oatmeal, or bread.”

“Was it sand flavoured?”

Mary begrudgingly said, “Yeah.”

“I told you so. You should know this by now; I’m always right.”

“You’re always right about the bad stuff,” she sounded bitter, her mood dampened. Evan had a feeling she was referencing something other than the jelly beans.

“That’s because you refuse to believe there even is ’bad stuff’,” There was a brief pause. “Mary, was I right about something you wish I wasn’t?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“What happened?”

“I’m fine.”

“I know you are. What happened?”

Mary sighed, knowing he would continue to push the subject until she gave in. “You remember when you told me to stay away from Avery and Mulciber?"

Evan's eyes narrowed, he had a bad feeling in his gut. He was already certain where this was going. "You didn't, did you?" he guessed.

“Evan, they're your friends, I don't get why they won't be mine too.”

He reached for the bag of Bertie Botts and picked out a few beans he was certain Mary would like. “You know why they won’t.”

“It shouldn't matter! It's not like you care that I'm a…” she trailed off trying to remember the word Mulciber had used, “a Mudblood.”

Evan flinched at the derogatory term. “Did they call you that?”

“Yeah, and some other things.”

“It's not a word they should have used.”

Mary shrugged, not particularly concerned at the term.“My parents are muggles, doesn't that made me a Mudblood?"

Evan flinched again. "Stop! Don't say that, don't ever say that again. It's a vulgar word, it means 'dirty blood'. Wizards only say it to be crude. Promise me you won’t say that again.”

“Alright, I won’t. If it’s so bad, why would they say that to me?”

“To. Be. Mean.” Evan repeated himself frustratedly, “Do you even listen to what I say? I told you, there’s a lot of people in this school who are going to be awful to you because of your blood status. They need no other reason.”

"And you're friends with those boys who are so awful?"

Evan looked a little uncomfortable as he admitted, “Sort of.”

“Why? Why would you want to be around people who are so cruel? Mulciber, Avery, Snape, if they’re so mean then those aren't the kind of people you should want to be friends with."

He crossed his arms. “It’s not black and white. It’s more complicated than that."

“Explain it to me.”

“They’re my housemates, the kids I grew up with. Their families run this world. It wouldn’t be smart if was on their bad side.”

“Oh!” Mary sounded like she had come across a revelation. “So you’re pretending to be their friends?”

“No.”

Her brow furrowed. “Then I don’t get it.”

“I knew you wouldn’t, ”he stated, though not unkindly.

They allowed their conversation to lapse into silence for a few minutes, picking though jelly beans and watching the ducks swim across the Black Lake.

Eventually Mary spoke up. “We’re friends though, right? Even though your friends don’t like me?”

“Yeah.”

“Why don’t you care that I’m a muggle-born?”

He shrugged. “I just don’t.”

“Well it doesn’t matter to me that you’re a pure-blood either.”

Evan turned to tell her that wasn’t how this worked, that muggle-borns didn’t usually discriminate against pure-bloods. Then he noticed the large grin on her face. She was just playing with him.

“Glad we got that sorted out.” He was grinning now too.

“Good” Mary grabbed the box of Bertie Botts and picked out a few beans. “Okay, open your hand and close your eyes. I’m going to pick out some jelly beans for you.”

Evan was certain she was going to wind up picking out a vomit flavoured bean thinking it was peach or something like that, but he still stretched out his hand and obliged her anyways.

[xmarymac]

Evary: Year Three - Greenhouses

“People are starting to notice.”

“What?” Mary looked at Lily, completely lost to what Lily was talking about.

“That.” Lily pointed to the other end of the classroom, “Mary, you’ve been staring at Evan all class. What’s going on between you two?”

“Nothing,” Mary said automatically. “We’re friends.”

“Gladys Gudgeon says she saw you two hanging out in the courtyard the other day, just the two of you.” Marlene joined in. She was not normally one for gossip.

“And you partnered up with him in Potions a few times.” Lily noted.

“Not to mention you sat with him in Hogsmeade last trip.” Marlene.

“Is it true that you shared your Sugar Quill stash with him? ” Lily.

“Don’t think we haven’t noticed you two studying in the library.” Marlene.

“Okay, enough!” Mary cut in defensively just as Lily was opening her mouth to add more. “I don’t see a problem.”

“The problem is that the Rosiers are not a muggle loving family.” Marlene

“And Evan doesn’t hang out with the nice kind of people. His friends are cruel and into some dark stuff.” Lily.

“You mean friends like Severus?” Mary asked pointedly looking at Lily.

“That’s different,” Lily said, “I knew Severus before we were in Hogwarts. We’re not talking about me anyways. What do you even know about Evan outside of the castle?”

“Plenty.” Mary fibbed, prompting a simultaneous eye roll from both Lily and Marlene. “Well, I know enough.”

“Do you like him?” Lily gasped, “You know, in a like like kind of way?”

“Do you like like Severus?” Mary shot back. She wasn’t normally this catty, but Marlene and Lily’s line of questioning was making her defensive.

It was Marlene’s turn to cut in. “We’re not talking about Lily and Snape,” she said to Mary, though she pointed a finger at Lily in warning, “though we will another time.” Lily made a face at Marlene that was ignored.

“Mary we’re just concerned. A guy like Evan being nice to a girl like you…. well we can’t help but to wonder if there’s an ulterior motive.”Marlene said

“You don’t know him like I do.” Mary said.

Marlene signed,“I think you have trouble seeing anything but the best in people. Mary, I love that about you, but I think that stops you from realizing when you’re in trouble.”

“You think I’m naive.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“If it’s not, then trust me that I know what I’m doing.”

Marlene looked like she could argue further, but the Marauders chose that moment to provoke their daffodils into honking furiously - ending all conversations in the greenhouse.

[xmarymac]

Evary: Year Four - Hogwarts Express

As usual, Mary was wedged into a over crowded compartment with her fellow Gryffindors. 

It was a fluke she had noticed Evan walk by the first time, and after the fourth time she saw him stride past she became suspicious. With a quick excuse mumbled to her friends she slipped out, hurrying in the direction she saw Evan head last.

Her steps slowed in confusion as she got closer to the end of the train, no Evan in sight. Maybe he hadn't been trying get her attention, maybe he had valid reasons for walking back and forth. With this in mind she turned to head back.

Suddenly she was pulled into a compartment, realizing it was by Evan before a protest left her lips. She smiled at him quizzically. "How'd you manage to find an empty compartment?"

“There’s no seats," he pointed out, and held up a deck of exploding snap. Mary's favourite. Evan had never particularly enjoyed playing the fast paced card game, but the way Mary lit up as she played made it his favourite game too.

"Are you glad it's summer break?" she asked as she sat cross legged on the floor.

Evan sat across from her and dealt the cards. "No."

"Why not?"

He told Mary a lot of things he didn't talk to anyone else about, but his abusive father wasn’t something he was going to burden her with.

She supplied an answer for him as he stayed quiet. "Because you'll miss me too much?" she teased, laughing as she pulled her hands back from cards about to explode.

"Yes."

His admission caused her to still. This was probably the closest he had ever come to verbally saying he cared about her, even just in a friendship way. ”Really?"

"Of course."

"I'll write you."

Evan didn't realize he had hoping she would say ‘she would miss him too’, until she didn't say so.

"That'd be okay? If I write you?" she clarified. They had never wrote each other over the summers before.

"Why wouldn't it be?"

"Your parents." Mary wasn't so naive that she didn't realize his parents wouldn't approve of their son receiving letters from a muggle-born like her.

He thought for a moment."They won't care enough to check my letters."

“Okay, then I’ll write you.”

“Good.”

They played a few more rounds before Mary announced she should go back. “Marlene has probably already sent search party out for me,” her tone was joking, but it was an actual probability. Her friends had always been over-protective.

At the same moment that she began to stand, the train lurched. Knocked off balance, she fell sideways into Evan’s lap, causing both of them to laugh. His arms wrapped around her, holding her. It felt as natural as if he had held her like this a million times before.

Then, without cause and without warning, the mood shifted drastically.

“You should go,” he muttered without any conviction in his voice. His arms tightened around her as if he had asked her to stay.

Her voice was little more than a whisper as she agreed, “I should.” There was a pause. “Hey Evan?”

“Yeah?”

“You didn’t ask me if I was glad it’s summer break.”

“Well, are you?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

Her hands went to his shoulders and she pulled herself closer to him. She grinned and let out a single breath of laughter, like her answer to the question was the most obvious thing in the world. Then her lips were on his, and he was kissing her back without hesitation.

She pulled out of the kiss and stood up, leaving him dazed and still sitting on the ground. Her face was lit up in the kind of smile that would make anyone think she was the happiest girl in the world. In this moment, she was. Before stepping out of the compartment she said, “Because, I’ll miss you too.”

[xmarymac]

Evary: Year Five - Third Floor

Mary had never thought she was a ‘kissing-in-a-broom-closet’ type of girl, but she also never thought she would be the type of girl to have a secret boyfriend either. 

Evan’s friends didn’t approve of Mary because of her blood-status, Mary’s friends didn’t approve of Evan because of his family. It was easier to hide their relationship, it was the smart choice.

“I have to go to Divination.”

“You're still taking that class? Please don’t tell me you believe in that crystal ball of bull?”

“Of course I don’t, I’ll probably drop it after O.W.L.S.” It was dark in the closet, but Evan could practically hear her rolling her eyes as she said, “Last class Professor Mopsus told me I would be in grave danger when a certain someone discovered what I was trying to hide. I’m pretty he was threatening to give me detention because he thought I stole his chalk.”

"Well, did you?"

"Hmm? What?"

"Did you steal Professor Mopsus's chalk?" Evan grinned, smug that he was the cause of her distracted mind.

"Of course not! I'm insulted you even asked," she didn't sound insulted, though she did place her hands on his chest to gently push herself away. "Though it's not the first time I've been blamed for Marlene's antics. I really ought to go to class I'm going to be late."

"Skip class with me."

"No I can't, and you can't either. Don't you have a Transfiguration test today?"

"Oh, right, yeah that."

“You'll do fine,” she leaned in and kissed him, “but that's for good luck.”

Mary always slipped out of the broom closet first. Usually Evan waited a few minutes before following, but this time Mary immediately poked her head back in and waved him out. “The halls are empty, we are so late to class.”

Evan looked unconcerned as he followed her out. “That’s fine by me, because I want a little more of that good luck." He wrapped his arms around her from behind and stole a quick kiss.

Mary turned in his arms. “I love you." she looked a little surprised at her own words, but she didn’t try to take them back. Instead she repeated herself happily, “Evan, I love you.”She had no idea that admitting so would feel like such relief, like the truth of this had been a weight she had been baring for months. It wasn’t surprising that Evan stared at her, disarmed and speechless. Right now she didn't care that he didn't say it back, he would when he was ready.

Shaking her head at his still stunned expression she didn’t wait around for him to form a response. “I’ll see you after class,” she laughed happily and left, heading in the direction of the Divination tower. Once she was out of sight Evan was finally able to shake himself back to coherence, and headed to Transfiguration. He was about ninety percent sure he was going to fail this test because of Mary’s declaration, and he couldn’t care less.

Neither of them saw Mulciber slip out from behind the tapestry in the hall they had just parted from. Mary didn’t even see him following behind her until it was too late.

Later that day: Hospital Wing

“I’m so sorry. It’s my fault, it’s my fault,” he choked the words out to a girl that doesn’t hear them. Although he had waited all day to see to her, and thought of a thousand things to say, those were only words he could get out. It’s late in the night, so late that it’s actually early. The school matron had finally finished attending to the girl, and her friends had been forced to return to their common rooms. The hospital wing is empty except for the two of them, though he’s still whispers like he’s afraid of being overheard.

He kneels at the side of her bed. He doesn’t deserve to stand above her. He doesn’t deserve to take comfort by holding her hand or brushing her hair out other face. The only comfort he allows himself is to notice the even and steady breaths that tell him she’ll be ok.

“It’s my fault.” Mulciber was sending a message to him by attacking Mary. She was his insurance policy, a way to get Evan in his control. Her being of muggle-born status only gave further reason for Mulciber to attack her. For so long Evan had been refusing to declare a side in this purity war, and Mulciber was forcing him to make a decision now.

Evan knew there was only one way to protect Mary from future harm, and she wasn’t going to like his choice. It didn’t matter though, as long as it kept her safe.

He whispered one last thing to the unconscious girl before leaving, there’s pain in every one of his steps with the knowledge that he’s walking away from her forever. “I love you too, Mary.”

[xmarymac]

Evary: Year Six - Empty Room

“Evan Rosier! You will talk to me or I swear to Godric I will…” Mary’s threat went unfinished.

It wasn’t because she had no blackmail material, no she had plenty on him, but because she wasn’t ruthless enough to true threaten anyone. Evan found himself smiling softly at this knowledge, happy that Mary was the same kind girl he had always known, and still loved.

The smile faded quickly when she continued to stalk towards him. It wasn’t the first time she had tried get him to talk, and if he avoided her again he knew she would try again. He scanned the dungeon’s halls, making sure no one else was around to see them together. Knowing the halls wouldn’t stay empty for long, he ducked into the unoccupied Potion’s classroom, sure Mary would follow.

“I wrote you,” she declared as she closed the door behind her.

Evan said nothing.

“I begged my parents to buy me an owl, just so I could write you. Did you even read my letters?”

“No.” Yes. He had read her letters over and over. He had tried to convince himself to burn them, for her safety, for his safety, but he couldn’t. Instead they were tucked away in the bottom of his trunk, in a box that only he could open.

“Why not? Evan, why won’t you talk to me? Why won’t you even look at me?” her voice caught, “What did I do wrong?”

His resolve to look anywhere but at Mary broke. As he looked at her he unconsciously took a few steps closer, only aware he had so when bumping into one of the work benches.

He missed her. He missed her so much it physically pained him not to jump over the table separating them and hold her in his arms. They hadn’t been alone in almost a year’s time, and he was so keenly aware of this. He wondered if she was too.

“Is it because of last year? It’s it because I-“ she broke off, clearly uneasy at saying it out loud.

He thought he knew what she was talking about. Mary getting hurt because of him was the reason he stopped seeing her. Though that knowledge tore at him every day, he wouldn’t deny it. Better for her to know.

However, he was surprised when she came up with a different reason.

“Is it because I said I loved you?” Her question was so quiet he barely heard her. When he stared at her in shock she continued. “Because it’s ok that you don’t feel the same, but you could have just told me that. You don’t have to act like a jerk and pretend I don’t exist.”

“Mary-” he choked out shaking his head, “That wasn’t- that’s not why.”

Her forehead creased in confusion. “It’s not?”

“No.”

There was silence as they processed this.

“I was in the hospital wing for a week last year. You didn’t come and see me even once. You didn’t care about my wellbeing? Even as a friend?”

“We’re not friends anymore.”

“We can be.”

“No, we can’t.”

“Why not?”

“It’s not safe for us to friends. Because a girl like you, can not be friends with a guy like me without there being consequences.”

Mary frowned and tried to figure out what was up with his strange choice of wording. “I thought you were better than that.”

“I’m not.”

Evan believed this wholeheartedly. If he was a better person, he would have never put that target on her back by befriending her. Evan knew that falling in love with Mary was the worst thing to ever happen to her, so he would do whatever he could to fool the world that he didn’t care for her. The best thing he could do for her now, was to leave. So he did.

[xmarymac]

Evary: Year Seven - Great Hall

Mary couldn’t remember the last time she got a letter. 

Her parents hated using owls and anyone else that needed to talk with her would just sit next to her at the breakfast table. It was so shocking when a tiny package dropped in her eggs that she stared at it dumbfoundedly for a few moments before picking it up. 

Luckily, her friends were occupied with their own letters and newspaper articles, and they didn’t notice Mary’s expressions of bewilderment as she opened the little box to find a pretty pendant and a tiny note scrawled with it.

Mary, I know you think I don’t care, it’s best that you believe that. Regardless, please, for your safety, keep the enclosed trinket with you. If something happens, smash the pendant and help will come.

It was unsigned, but there was little doubt who it was from. When her friends weren’t looking she clasped the necklace around her neck and tucked it under her uniform. She knew her friends would be suspicious about an unsigned gift, and Mary didn’t have the energy to lie. She was a terrible liar anyways.

When she got up to leave from breakfast, she took the long way out of the hall so she would pass by the Slytherin table. As she passed Evan, she untucked her necklace and fiddled with it before hiding it back under her clothes. He still hadn’t made eye contact with her, but she knew he saw by the relieved kind of smile on his face.

[the-great-mr-rosier-blog]

I’m always sure. You do remember me, don’t you? [smirks] Potentially. 

I’m sure you could, MacDonald, just as much as that Teddy Bear you had back in school could be violent. [creases eyebrow] If you don’t wish to talk about something, you’re aware I’m going to make you.

[xmarymac]

Teddy was a vicious stuffed bear and you know it. 

You can’t make me talking about it if I don’t want to. Evan, leave it be.

[mediwitch-emme-blog]

Mary Macdonald and Emmeline Vance - Of Trips and of Slips

Tipsy Emmeline was probably the best one that she could think of right then, regardless of the consequences and regardless of the fact that this was probably the worst timing for her to get drunk in her life. The woman that was now stumbling around an alley trying to pull herself away from the Leaky Cauldron wasn’t going to be making the smartest of decisions, already contemplating going and sneaking into Alex’s flat to surprise him (not that his House Elf wouldn’t tell him right away). Easily the one thing that she hadn’t expected, however, was to slip on something and end up cracking her forehead against a telephone booth.

If Emme hadn’t felt dazed before, she certainly did now and that was putting it mildly. Palm pressed against the open wound and a trickle of blood running down her forearm, she let out a soft curse as she leaned back again the damn phone booth and fumbled around for her wand before dropping it on the ground and grumbling again before scooping it up and stumbling over to a bench against one of the buildings. “Merlin,” she muttered, shaking her head softly and letting out a breath before leaning over to rest the weight of her elbows on her knees.

[xmarymac]

There was was nothing more Mary desired at this moment than a relaxing soak back home. The day had been busy, and she was locking up Scribbulus shop far later than the other shopkeepers in the alley. It was uncomfortably close to curfew, and she was anxious to get off the streets before getting caught. The dark and silent street wasn’t helping her anxiety. She jumped when there was sounds of banging and cursing up ahead, and automatically she shrank into the shadows of a building as someone stumbled across her path ahead. 

Heart pounding, her breathing shallow, she waited, watching to see if the figure noticed her. Luckily for her, they seemed to be preoccupied with something else. It was a drunk, Mary figured. She was close to the Leaky Cauldron now, and it wasn’t the first time she had come across one. She struggled with deciding to let the law enforcement find the person, or helping and sending them home. She had helped drunk patrons of the Leaky in the past. Tonight she was pushing it too close to curfew that she decided she couldn’t risk being caught out again - until she noticed a dark sticky substance leaking down the person’s arm. They were injured, and Mary’s feet started moving towards the girl before she had consciously made the decision to help.

The woman held her head in her hands, so Mary couldn’t see their face. “You’re bleeding, what happened? Are you ok?” she asked, crouching before the woman, thinking there was something oddly familiar about them.

[lilyfckinevans]

[She raises her eyebrows] Really, did you hex the pants off him? I would have.

[xmarymac]

No. You wouldn’t have either, Lily, you know he works for the Ministry now.

[xmarymac]

marlene-another-mckinnon:

Merlin, I almost forgot it! [laughs and takes her hand to her face] Poor Bertram, I couldn’t look at him till he went back to his normal skin colour. It was one of my most disastrous falls, but I assume it was really funny to watch.

He walked around telling the first years not to eat so many carrots or they’ll turn orange like him, and just about had some of the 3rd years convinced he was representing the house of [air quotes] “Windorbark” , the 5th lesser known Hogwarts house”. I think you did him a favour, he loved the attention.

[xmarymac]

onehandsomedog:

A ‘friend’. How vague. Well, he supposed two could play at that. He certainly didn’t want to have to share what he was really doing, anyway. A smirk formed as he glanced down at the blonde on his arm. 

“I was looking for someone,” he replied easily. “Didn’t find her, though.” That part was a lie. Neither was the person he’d been seeking female nor unfound. He’d tailed them for a good part of the night but came up empty on results.

“Who are you searching for past curfew?” she asked him though she knew he wouldn’t answer. There was disbelief tinged in her voice, though she couldn’t be sure that his smirk was because he knew she was purposely vague, or because he was hiding something.