Call me Moss

[badjokesbyjeff]

A mean drill sergeant was addressing a squad of twenty-five exhausted men and said: 

"I have a nice cushy job for the laziest man here. Raise your hand if you are the laziest."

24 tired blokes quickly raised their hands, and the sergeant asked the other man "why didn't you raise your hand?"

The man replied: "Too much trouble raising the hand, Sarge."

[xmossheartedx]

I knew a guy who was so lazy he married a pregnant woman.

[importantcatpics]

[desertedinurban]

HIGH FASHION BIRDS BY - Deserted In Urban

[silent-insanities]

I thought I had you.

[thememedaddy]

[catilinas]

you should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. what do you mean i have to do it again

[this-hazbin-quoted]

Charlie: Look Dad, can’t you just be nice, for once?

Lucifer: The best I can do is fake a smile and hide my dead eyes behind these shades.

Charlie: ...

Lucifer: ...

Charlie: Alright, I’ll take it.

[vexheart]

[a-state-of-bliss]

Paco Rabanne Spr/Sum 1993

[badjokesbyjeff]

My grandad told me he’s never committed six of the seven deadly sins. 

He’s just too lazy to tell us which ones."

[xmossheartedx]

Eating too much cake is a sin of gluttony, but eating too much pie is okay, because the sin of pi is always zero.