21 Signs of Emotional Abuse You May Be Overlooking:
Emotional abuse is any kind of psychological abuse that traumatizes a personâs mind or their state of being, forcing them to feel weak, traumatized and helpless. You may feel moments of emotional abuse now and then in your own relationships with the people around you, be it with your parents, siblings, friends or even your romantic partner. The easiest way to realize if youâre being abused by someone is if you feel weak and stressed around them. Use these 21 subtle signs of emotional abuse to find out if youâve been pushed to the wall by your spouse, partner or friend. If you do see these signs, perhaps itâs now time to walk away.
1. Youâre scared. Your partnerâs behavior scares you. Youâre afraid to ask for things or tell them something because you just donât know how they would react.
2. Incessant lectures. Your partner constantly tells you how youâre so flawed and how you still need to improve in so many ways. But instead of trying to help you, they point your flaws out and behave like youâre a lost cause who canât be helped because youâre too weak or dumb.Â
3. Painful comparisons. Your partner constantly compares you, either with your more prettier or successful friends, and tells you how much better than you they are. Your partner may even be subtle and point out to celebrities and tell you how theyâre so much more attractive than you.
4. Constant confusions. Your partner yells at you often. But when you try to argue back or prove that youâre right, they may even get down on their knees or humiliate themselves just to apologize to you and win your affection back.
5. You get blamed for no fault. Your partner blames you for no fault of yours. They blame you for your friendâs behavior, for the way the kids are, your friendâs divorce, or just about anything else. Sometimes, your partner may even hear about something on the television and yell at you because theyâre pissed off!
6. Possessive jealousy. Your partner always has something negative to say about your friends, especially if theyâre of the opposite sex. Your partner hates it when you get phone calls from your friends and sometimes even asks you to hang up the phone. They just donât like it when you have an active social life. [Read: 15 subtle and shocking signs of a controlling boyfriend]
7. Your self esteem is crippled. Your partner constantly tells you how bad or worthless you are, and gets angry with you because youâre always relying on them. But even when you try to do something yourself, they tell you youâre not capable of making decisions and make you feel dumb all the time.
8. Two faced personality. Your partnerâs behavior and attitude confuses you. At times, they may be extremely loving and caring. And at other times, theyâre really mean and hurtful. You just canât predict how theyâll react to anything you do.
9. The sadist inside. Your partner feels better about themselves when they point out your flaws or criticize you. They may be more jovial or happy on days when youâre overworking or stressed because of your own mistakes.
10. The humiliation. Your partner humiliates you or makes nasty remarks, especially around your friends or people who admire you.
11. Big demands. They set unreasonable expectations and make big demands from you, secretly hoping youâd fail so they can say âI told you so!â
12. Sexual manipulation. Your partner emotionally manipulates you into sexual activities you donât like. They may even emotionally armtwist you by saying things like âOther girls/guys do it! Why canât you?â
13. Big confessions. Your partner shares their problems with everyone who listens. But if you confess any of your problems, especially about the relationship, to your friends or family, your partner would get very upset with you.
14. Turning everyone against you. This is a sneaky trick that emotionally abusive partners use to gain advantage and leave you feeling helpless. Your partner may constantly crib about how difficult or dumb you are to everyone, including your friends, your family and even your kids. Your partner may even give biased examples just to convince everyone else and turn them against you so no one would take your side against theirs.
15. The silent treatment. If you stand up for something or try to take control of the situation, your partner may walk away in a huff and give you the silent treatment. An emotionally abusive partner works on guilt, and they hate giving power away in a relationship. Your partner may just ignore you until you apologize for opposing their decision!Â
16. Physically abusive. Sometimes, your partner may resort to physical abuse like a slap, a painful pinch or even a threatening gesture just to scare you into submission when you oppose them for anything.
17. Youâre not allowed to think. Emotionally abusive lovers take pleasure in taking full control of the relationship. Theyâd manipulate you one step at a time until you lose all confidence in your judgment. You convince yourself that you are not capable of taking any decisions yourself, without your partnerâs guidance.Â
18. Isolation and dependence. Initially, your partner may tell you they donât like your friends or a particular family member. Soon, they may tell you to avoid that particular person. And before you realize it, your partner may carefully isolate you from everyone who was once close to you. And one fine day, youâd see that the only person you can go to for help or depend on is your partner.
19. Emotional memories. Your partner constantly reminds you of all the times youâve screwed up each time thereâs an argument or a discussion. They constantly bring up your failures or the mistakes youâve made in your life to reinforce the idea that you depend on your partner and canât survive by yourself without their help and guidance in life.
20. Your achievements donât matter. Your partner glorifies even the smallest of their achievements and proudly brags about it. But on the other hand, no matter what you achieve or do, your partner always mocks your achievements and makes you feel silly for celebrating it.
21. Denial. Even when you point out their emotionally abusive ways, your partner doesnât accept their emotionally abusive ways as a flaw. Instead, they convince themselves and try to convince you that theyâre doing all this only to help you become a better person and stand on your own feet.Â
If youâre not sure what youâre going through is abuse, just look at yourself from another personâs perspective. Or ask yourself how you would feel if your sibling or your child was living your life. Would you be happy for them? Would you want them to be subjected to such poor treatment? Â If a relationship puts you constantly on the defense, drains you or makes you unsure of yourself thats a sign itâs time to walk away.