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At least once a year when the Raiders come to town Ilya reactivates his inner fuckboi and goes out with his boys who are still on the team, goes hard at the club, wears something objectively hideous, steals someone's Raider's ballcap and throws it on backwards. Phone buzzing in his pocket all night while he ignores it (this is Part of the Game) and when he finally closes out his tab after midnight he sees that someone has changed his contact for Shane back to 'Jane' and that 'Jane' has been blowing up his phone for the last few hours
Jane: Are we still on for tonight?
Jane: ???
Jane: Rozanov.
Jane: Fuck you I'm not going to just wait around for you all night.
Jane: Asshole.
Ilya just smirks to himself and replies with a room number.
And the thing is that they do actually have to be a bit sneaky. It wouldn't do for someone to draw some false conclusions about why one half of the most scrutinized marriage in the NHL is loitering in a random hotel lobby in Ottawa on a Thursday evening. Ilya doesn't want that kind of publicity and he does not want to try to explain that it's not what it looks like to his in-laws.
So there's a thrill to it when he scans the keycard into the reader and Shane is sitting there in the dark, breath heavy like he's nervous or like he's just run up six flights of stairs to avoid elevator cameras.
(It's both)
And yeah maybe it breaks kayfabe a bit that Shane already had the room key or that he's wearing his Centaurs team crewneck instead of the Metros one that he would have been wearing in this scenario years ago (because he threw them all out in a fit of pique and Ilya cheered him on) but the hotel room is dark and the only difference in the crewnecks is that the number 24 over the breast is red instead of blue.
He's even combed his hair down over his forehead. Fuck.
"Where the fuck have you been," Shane says, cornering Ilya as soon as the door is closed. "I've been sitting here like a fucking idiot, Rozanov."
"Relax, Hollander," Ilya coos, angling Shane's face with a hand on his jaw, and Shane tries to jerk away and Ilya steels his grip and then the game is really on.
HUSBEANS
home - hollanov - @hollanovmicrofic - word count: 350 - click here for my hollanov microfic archive on ao3 - takes place shortly before TLG
Ilya had done a lot of interviews in his life.
He'd been asked a lot of questions–some stupid, some prying, many repetitive, and many that he'd asked people to repeat.
But as he sat in a squishy armchair in Harris's office, he honestly thought that he'd never enjoyed an interview more.
Well...
Maybe some of the interviews he'd done with Shane. But he wasn't about to admit that.
They were laughing together about the team's abysmal choices in vodka, about Dykstra's terrible taste in music, about how Coach Weibe was terrible at giving directions when they took the team bus anywhere–and Ilya felt relaxed. Happy.
Then, Harris said cheerfully, "Okay, Ilya. Now we're going to do something a little silly, but the fans always love it. I'm gonna say a word, and you have to say the first thing that comes to mind when you hear it, alright? No thinking, just go."
He grinned. "And if my responses are not appropriate for...young, impressionable audience?"
Harris chuckled. "That's why we're not live."
Ilya smirked. Of course Harris didn't trust him to do any of the Centaurs' livestreams. "Okay,” he agreed.
"Hockey."
"Winning," Ilya replied quickly, grinning at the camera. "Always."
Harris laughed. "Alright. Goal."
"Rozanov," Ilya shot back, still beaming.
The other man chuckled again. "Okay. Gym."
"Water bottle," Ilya replied before thinking better of it, his mind instantly going back to a moment ten years ago in a dingy hotel gym with two stationary bikes and two nervous teenagers.
But the answer was acceptable and innocent enough, so Harris moved on.
"Food."
"Uh...Pasta."
"Happy."
"Summer."
"Home."
"Shane."
It took Ilya about two seconds after he spoke to realize what he'd said and freeze, eyes widening as he stared, terrified, at Harris.
But the man just looked at him, understanding and kindness in his eyes. "....you...want me to delete that part, buddy?" he asked carefully, reaching to press a hand to Ilya's slightly-trembling knee before leaning back again.
Ilya inhaled, chewing on the inside of his cheek, before nodding sharply. "Uh, yes. Maybe. I think would be best."
Connor Storrie as Lance Kingston | Criminal Minds: s19 e4
Heated Rivalry/Criminal Minds: Evolution
airport - hollanov - @hollanovbingo - word count: 322 - click here for my hollanov microfic archive on ao3
Shane nearly jumped out of his skin when he saw 'Lily' appear on his phone screen.
It probably wouldn't have been nearly as surprising if he hadn't been sitting staring at his screen, but that was another story.
"Hel–hey," he answered, swallowing all the eagerness he could, fighting to sound casual as he answered the call.
"Hello," Ilya replied, sounding anxious. "I am–I am at Boston airport. Just got through security. Um. Flight is on time."
He could have texted Shane that information, but neither of them pointed that out.
"Ah–good," Shane nodded jerkily, relief and terror flooding him in equal measure. Fuck. Ilya was actually doing this. Flying here. Coming to Shane's cottage.
"Man at security tried to–what is it called? Frisk me? But I told them I already have other plans for someone to touch my dick," Ilya continued, a little smile in his tone, now.
Despite his nerves, Shane snorted. "Shut up," he muttered, shaking his head fondly.
Silence.
"You are...ah...still picking me up?"
Shane gulped, looking around. "Yeah. Um...if you still want me to, that is. If it's too...weird, or whatever, I can get a car service, or see if there's taxis, or, um maybe there's public transpor–"
"Hollander."
"Yeah?"
"I want you to."
He breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay."
Silence.
"You will be there on time?"
He bristled. "Yeah, Rozanov, I'll be there on time!"
Ilya laughed. "I am just saying! You probably have to leave soon, yes? You don't want to be late."
Shane frowned, rolling his eyes. "Yeah, yeah. You're right, I should...yeah."
"Okay."
Silence.
"I will see you soon, Shane."
Fuck. It wasn't fair how much that made him smile. "See you, Ilya," he murmured.
When the line went dead, he sighed, looking out his car window to the deserted airport parking lot, where he'd already been waiting for half an hour.
Yeah....he definitely wouldn't be late.
take it slow / take it easy on me / and shed some light / shed some light on me please
Shane really goes through every emotion known to humankind during this conversation. 😄
What room are you in? HEATED RIVALRY (2025 - ) ▸1x05, i'll believe in anything
Yuna: Come on, baby. Whoever you love, we'll love them just as much; as long as you're happy that's all that matters. I'm so proud of you. Now then, who's the special man?
Shane:
that bullets era vid of frank grabbing the FUCK out of gerard's hair and pulling his head back literally drives me crazy i want him to do that to me
Shane rocking up to the Metros' hear me out cake party:
your assigned ilya of the day is exhibiting predatory behavior because there's a shane in his enclosure 😈
hollanov have a fight and shane locks himself in a room with his dildo and makes sure his man hears just how good he can fuck himself without him. and comes from knowing that when he unlocks the door ilya will be DESPERATE and he wont be able to walk tomorrow and forget what they were even fighting about
(This might not win me any fans)
But the fact that a lot of us have been in the trenches since LAST year saying so hey yeah, what’s happening with Hudson is NOT okay and we were told that saying anything won’t help things and it’ll just make it worse and then everything that has happened in the last week to the only POC main.
And then now here we are and Crave never once stood up for their talent and (this could also apply to the openly queer actors too), then the OC camp comes out within weeks of their show airing and is like so here’s what you bitches aren’t gonna do and I’m laughing so I don’t lose it to be honest.
Connor Storrie — Criminal Minds: Evolution
