⋆⭒˚｡⋆ Isaac ⋆⭒˚｡⋆

Previously xoxo-mackerel Jirai danshi | he/him ❗️Block don't report ❗️

[xox0-mackerel]

Formerly xoxo-mackerel … got termed …

BEFORE YOU INTERACT this blog is a jirai blog and vent blog. It will contain content such as self harm, EDs, and other potentially triggering content. My posts WILL be sorted with tags, so the art I post WILL BE SEPARATED. Please block tags accordingly. Ty for stopping by!!! <3

⭒˚｡⋆ WELCOME TO MY BLOG ⋆⭒˚｡

You may call me Isaac or Mackerel :)

☆ he/him

☆ Minor (15-17). Anyone is welcome to interact. Just don’t make it weird.

☆ Chinese

☆ Jirai danshi/landmine boy

☆ I live in the U.S.

I’m not willing to type out a long list of DNIs. I block freely.

PLEASE NOTE that while i am pro recovery, I am not currently looking to recover. Im simply not ready. However, i do not promote any form of self harm. Anything i post is a vent or directed at myself. I apologize beforehand if anything I post sounds selfish or just batshit insane.

If i say anything offensive or insensitive, LET ME KNOW!! I don’t want to offend anyone, and I’m always willing to learn <333

if you followed my previous blog, you’ll know that i posted cvtspo. Unfortunately, I will no longer be doing so out of fear of being termed again. I will be talking about it, just not posting images.

psst. dm me for cvtspo or scarspo 👀

⭒˚｡⋆ Tagging system! ⋆⭒˚｡

“is there really any value to this thing we call life?” — general venting

“let me paint it. that uncontrollable desire of yours.” — my art tag

“i would do anything to be loved. i killed my impulses …and became a good kid.” — responding to asks

“i was desperate for any proof that i still existed in this world.” — sh related

. ݁₊ ⊹ the mackerel speaks ⊹ ₊ ݁. — yapping or opinions

. ݁₊ ⊹ the mackerel reblogs ⊹ ₊ ݁. — reblogged posts

“eat or die, the saying goes, but to my ears it sounded like just one more unpleasant threat.” — ED related

. ݁₊ ⊹ daily vocaloid song ⊹ ₊ ݁. — I try to post a vocaloid or utau song each day because why not it’s fun

⋆⭒˚｡ Interests! ⋆⭒˚｡

Fandoms: Bsd, alnst, zomst, Studio Investigrave, tshd, The Outsiders, Newsies, Hamilton, The great gatsby, The Glass Scientists, Vamp sabbath, The freak circus, The marauders, Dead Poets Society, The maze runner, Quiet Please!, Pink bitch club, cherry bitch club, Killer chat, Human construction site, Vocaloid, Dramatical murder, Slow damage, pjsk, Devilman crybaby, Kasurich, nso, Voltron, 666dopes, punks triangle, spurs and stripes, patchwork circus + more I’m forgetting

Music: Måneskin, MCR, Green Day, P!atd, Ado, Jhariah, Will wood and the tapeworms, Phantom siita, Maboemu, Jann, Conan gray, Mad Tsai, Tony Ann, NOAHFINNCE, set it off, jsck stauber, pierce the veil, bastille, sushi soucy, sodikken, stomach book, pinkshift, arctic monkeys, fall out boy, lemon demon, maretu uhhh I’m forgetting things

I also do robotics and theatre and I’m a fan of j-fashion! Specifically jirai kei, ouji, yami kawaii, tenshi kawaii, and gyaruo.

I’m a casual listener do not ask me to name five songs I will cry.

Since I mostly listen to vocaloid I think it’s worth mentioning that my faves are VY2, VFlower, and Gakupo.

Anyways FEEL FREE TO INTERACT!!! <333

Just some extra stuff down below for funsies

I uh. put dazai there twice. because I don’t have an eighth character I relate to. sadly.

Also check out my strawpage! it needs some updating but I’m too lazy for that…

bandagedm4ckerel's strawpage

[fleurco]

me adding an "!!" or a kaomoji at the end of my messages so i don't sound mean asf as fuck

[xox0-mackerel]

when I say im in a good mood I really just mean that I got a sudden burst of energy for no reason, feel extremely egotistical, make incredibly poor decisions but still hate myself and want to die

[xox0-mackerel]

im not crazy do yall see it

left is kaito from the hot ice mv by matsubi

[xox0-mackerel]

i watched the mv for the kaito song “i skip love” for funsies since I’ve only ever listened to the song without the mv. yeah no im definitely gay lmao i think im even more sure now.

sexuality is confusing but imagine your gay awakening being fucking kaito. that’s. I don’t know what to say.

[xox0-mackerel]

Day 2 of posting a vocaloid song I like each day: Arrest Rose

I decided to make this a thing because I am currently more obsessed with vocaloid than I ever have been in the past. and I have no one irl to share this with. and maybe I can convert some people into vocaloid fans. so enjoy :)

I also don’t want my blog to be shitposts and depressing vents all the time lol

[reverievelvet]

the double standards for mental health on tiktok is crazy. they'll only care about stuff like depression and anxiety and then when someone is avoiding, has bpd/npd and more, they villainize them and act like they're the spawns of the devil. sounds kindaaa like ableism to me guys

[xox0-mackerel]

having issues with both my bio father and stepfather lowkey fucked up my perception of people. im automatically wary if not flat out hateful towards ANYONE’S father or vague father figure. i avoid interacting with my friends’ dads even if they’re nice. i hate any older man who tries to mentor me or give me guidance. all them are bad people out to hurt others in my eyes. they all pretend to be caring at first. that’s how they get to you. then they gaslight you and make you think you’re the crazy one. that’s how it always is. all of them are just pretending. i know im being paranoid but it’s just how i am tbh.

[xox0-mackerel]

whenever I feel like I’m doing a bad job of portraying a character’s emotions in theatre class i remember the dramatical murder dub and I feel better instantly.

[xox0-mackerel]

remember when tracing was the main issue in the art community and not ai

[xox0-mackerel]

where’s my sekai, miku. where is it.

[xox0-mackerel]

Edit: yeah im making this a thing now. gonna try and post a song i like each day <3

Edit: Day 1 of posting a vocaloid song I like each day: New Darling (Matsudappoiyo cover)

guys ik he’s an utau but they fall under the category of vocaloid.

posting my favorite cover of new darling because i need more people to know about it. I love this song sm. matsudappoiyo’s voice 🤤🤤🤤

maybe i should start doing a “vocaloid/utau song of the day” thing or something…if i did it would probably end up being 90% vflower, gakupo, vy2, and matsudappoiyo though…

[xox0-mackerel]

I am not cut out for the workforce I get stressed so easily. i cried playing papas scooperia as a child.

[xox0-mackerel]

why oh why did I agree to be the visual director for my friend’s club. I love them. I would do anything for them. really I would. but I hate responsibility and im a very unreliable person. I have to get 3 versions of the club’s logo designed by monday. along with 4 pin designs. kill me.

[oshidorifuufu2]

the idea that theres people who go through life without having ever experienced a single mental illness is INSANE to me actually

mental illness is all i fucking know

[xox0-mackerel]

strawberries…and ramune 🤤

[xox0-mackerel]

being given my own credit card has made me realize that I am so incredibly irresponsible with money and very much an impulsive spender