xoxardnekoxo

Hello! This is my personal Tumblr that will include my thoughts on things, as well as photos and the like. My name is Kendra, and ardnek is my name backwards. :D To see my Simblr, go to tenderwolfsimblr.tumblr.com. To see my Guild Wars blog, visit tenderwolfoftyria.tumblr.com. To see my doll photography blog, visit my-plastic-life.tumblr.com

[xoxardnekoxo]

Movie Review: The Little Mermaid (2023)

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!

Ah, Ariel. My favorite Disney princess. She's "my" princess. Ariel is the princess who introduced me to Disney (I was two years old when the movie came out), and I had a Little Mermaid themed bedroom for years. Bedding, curtains, pillows, toys, you name it. When Disney began making live action versions of their classic cartoons, I was hoping they'd follow suit with my favorite princess. And they finally did!

But imagine my disappointment at the casting... it has nothing to do with race. Those of us who grew up with these classic cartoons have certain expectations for the live action remakes. At the top of that list is the appearance of the characters. They should at least somewhat resemble their animated counterparts. The only character that even halfway resembled the source material was... (stops to think) Ursula and Vanessa. Halle's hair wasn't even red! /facepalm

But this post isn't about the casting. It's about the movie as a whole. As is customary with these live action remakes, there are going to be some differences and more than likely some extras. Let's begin with the first scene - text over water that literally says "But a mermaid has no tears, and therefore she suffers so much more."

Well dang, that started out on a depressing note. That note is quickly followed by a scene similar to the cartoon with Eric on a ship and dolphins swimming nearby... except the ship's crew is trying to kill the dolphins, thinking they're mermaids/sirens out to lure sailors to their deaths.

Yeah, we get more of the siren lore/backstory this time around. This is the coral moon, which is when mermaids are known to use their voices to lure men to their dooms. Eric doesn't believe this, and we're then told that he was adopted by the king and queen, so he's not actually the biological prince of the island. They totally did that to explain why the queen is Black and Eric is white.

Anyway, we're then introduced to Triton and his daughters... and no, their names no longer all start with "A." A minor point, yet another example of changing a classic just for the sake of changing it. There was nothing wrong with the girls' names before... why change them? And man, Triton be a playa - the girls are all different races!!! But besides that, I wasn't a fan of their tails/seashells. They honestly looked like dresses with fins. Take away the fins and I wouldn't have thought they were mermaids.

We do get to see the great shipwreck/shark scene, and then we're introduced to Scuttle... who is not only now a female, but also no longer a seagull. No, the self-proclaimed human expert is now some different breed of bird that is capable of diving underwater. The story this time around is that merpeople can't go to the surface at all (well, actually, that was also true in the cartoon), so I guess Disney felt compelled to change Scuttle's breed to make Ariel seem more obedient?

Now cue Ariel's iconic song, then she hears fireworks and swims up to the surface and we see Eric's ship for his birthday... then a storm comes up, the ship crashes, fire breaks out, yada yada yada... you know this part. Ariel saves the human, drags him up onto the beach, he wakes up to her singing but can only make out her silhouette against the sun, and then becomes obsessed with finding her. He uses practically every resource in the kingdom to find a girl he barely got a decent look at... much to the chagrin of the queen, who forbids him from going on any more voyages. And then we get to endure a completely unnecessary musical number by the prince about how he wants this mystery girl to find him and how he's basically being called to the sea.

Yeah, the song was completely pointless and I found it to be bland. But anyway, after that, we get the inevitable father/daughter argument that results in Ariel's grotto getting destroyed, and as she's (dry because of no tears) sobbing, Ursula uses her crystal ball to visit her and lure her to her cave. Yeah, her eel henchmen don't speak in this movie, but their eyes do their spy function.

We're then told that Ursula is Triton's younger sister. So I guess that's why, for 34 years, she's harbored a grudge against the Sea King. Sounds like a case of sibling rivalry/jealousy to me.

So yeah, obviously Ursula's grand plan is to use Ariel as bait to get to Triton in order to obtain the trident. She tells Ariel she'll give her legs and if she and Eric share a kiss before the sun sets in three days, she'll be a human forever... but at the cost of her voice. It's not just her voice anymore. It's her siren's song. Essentially, a mermaid without a voice is an empty shell, in Ursula's eyes. Okay then.

Now, a question that's plagued many for more than three decades - why did Ariel not just write down her story for Eric so he understood what was going on? Well, that part gets addressed now. Ursula sneaks a memory loss thing into her spell, so whenever Ariel is questioned about kissing Eric or anyone mentions it to her, she immediately forgets, so she has no idea that's what she needs to do.

So during Ariel's time on land, we do hear her singing - it's meant to be her subconscious. Because Disney had to warrant casting someone with such a great singing voice (according to them) being mute for a big chunk of the movie. Anyway, Ariel does eventually wander into Eric's "hobby room" in the castle where his maps, telescopes, and items from his adventures are. So really, the two are a lot alike - they both feel trapped in their own homes and desire more. So of course they're bonding.

So eventually we get to the "Kiss the Girl" scene, and it's been stated that some of the lyrics had been changed. Actually, some lyrics in "Poor Unfortunate Souls" were also changed, because apparently after 34 years, some of those lyrics don't hold up well.

So eventually Eric leans in for a kiss, but because of the memory loss thing, Ariel pulls away. I mean, she was leaning in at first, but then she's like

Yeah, the lyrics were changed because there was supposedly an implication that Eric was forcing himself on Ariel in the cartoon. Uh..... Ariel was 100% on board for that kiss, and it was the whole POINT! That's what was needed to break the spell and allow her to stay on land! He was hardly forcing himself on her!!!

This time around, if anyone was being forceful, it was Sebastian with all his coaxing Eric to kiss Ariel. Geez!

So then Vanessa makes her debut, and we then have to sit through an annoyingly pointless tune of Scuttle going on about the "scuttlebutt" of how Eric is going to propose... That was super annoying and absolutely unnecessary. Just say it!!!

Enter the engagement announcement party (no, not a wedding, just an announcement of one) at the castle (not on a ship), and of course Ariel's tail pops out, Ursula turns back into an octopus, and the queen is all OMG the sea creatures are gonna come back and kill us!!!

This time, instead of Eric getting on one of the ships brought up by Ursula, Ariel does it and uses the ship's wheel to steer the giant harpoon-like thing at the bow into Ursula. Eric wakes up and Ariel is gone, and the queen is like, "Our worlds weren't meant to be together." Or something like that. Talk about a mood killer.

But then Triton makes Ariel human (of course), and they get married, and set off for those "wild, unchartered waters." And now all the merpeople can come to the surface, so we get to see them and the humans being all harmonious.

And... end. Yeah, no rainbow in the sky created by Triton. What a missed opportunity that was.

So yeah, I didn't see this movie in theaters out of principle, and I didn't buy the DVD/Blu-Ray. I just watched it on Disney+. Some things were good, as I anticipated they would be, but honestly, they could have done so much better. Eric didn't need a song, and neither did Scuttle... and Ariel literally wore the same dress the entire time she was human. You can't tell me that huge palace didn't have more dresses she could wear. And no, we don't see her dinner dress (the pink one)... in fact, that dinner scene never happens. The "using the fork as a comb" thing happens when Eric is showing Ariel the market, when Jodie Benson (the original voice of Ariel) gives her something to eat with the fork.

I'm still not completely on board with all the race/gender changes. By doing this, it just tells Disney that it's okay to do that for every single remake. Snow White is going to be a train wreck... they can't even get the story right for the TITLE. These live action remakes are getting worse, honestly. Changing just for the sake of changing is a stupid reason to do so. There's a reason the classics are classics.

I'm not saying this movie was horrible. But I am saying it could have been better. Could have been worse, too, though, so... kind of a double-edged sword here. Out of principle I don't want to give the movie a high rating because of all the changes, most notably the casting of "my" princess... again, not because it's a race thing, but because it's a principle thing. But regardless, I'll go ahead and give it 7/10. My biggest gripes are the added songs that were more annoying than anything.

[xoxardnekoxo]

Movie Review: TMNT Mutant Mayhem

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!

Ah, Ninja Turtles. My childhood superheroes... oh who am I kidding, my eternal superheroes. :D This fabsome foursome debuted in 1987, the same year I was born, so I literally grew up watching the franchise. The series has gotten several reboots over the last three decades, and it's still going strong. The hype now is around the latest installment, Mutant Mayhem, created by Seth Rogen.

So, confession - when I first heard details about this movie and saw promo images, I was NOT on board. The art style is amateur at best, and yet another one of my beloved childhood redheaded characters has been black washed. First Ariel, now April? If we could stop doing that, that would be great... I'm totally okay with her being heavyset and more realistic in terms of body. We could all use THAT type of PC upgrade for beloved classic characters. But at least keep them the same race we've always known them to be.

But enough about that. It wasn't just the art style that made me stick my nose up in disgust at yet another remake of my ultimate childhood series. I'm literally a mega fan - my TMNT collection dates back 30+ years and is still growing, and it features some sort of item from every series thus far (with the exception of Rise... because even I can't get on board with that one). I'm talking figures, plushes, clothes, jewelry, hats, backpacks, bookmarks, magnets, buttons, piggy banks, etc. You name it, I've got it in TMNT form. So I'm very passionate about the show and can be quite critical of changes to it.

Which is why when I was starting to get past the art style, I was appalled to learn that not only would Shredder not be the main antagonist this time around, he wouldn't even be referenced at all.

Uh... yeah, we all know - we've known since 1984, when the comics came out - that Shredder is THE villain of the turtles. That's the one thing that's been consistent with every franchise (except The Next Mutation, but he at least made an appearance in that, albeit for a brief time). Instead, the bad guy is a hideous creature called Superfly. Kind of a double play on words considering he's literally a giant mutant fly with fancy/classy/fast cars and an entire mutant army and crime baddies at his disposal.

And Splinter? OMG, what did they DO to him? His face looks like someone splattered vegetables on the sidewalk. I see a squashed tomato/potato where his nose should be, and his "beard" is like the top of broccoli or a garlic clove. (shudder) And let's not get into the fact that, when the turtles were kids, he had a freaking Afro and a mustache. The turtles are meant to be 15 in this time, which would make the year roughly 2008 when they were kids, so the 70s look was way dated at that time.

Then we get more great news... not only are we now race-swapping characters; we're also gender-swapping them. Leatherhead and Wingnut, while minor characters throughout every iteration, are now girls instead of guys.

Leatherhead has always been an ally to the turtles, except in the original series, and considering the direction this movie took, I have to wonder if the writers thought it would be inappropriate to make them enemies because it would show teen guys beating up a girl. I mean, "beating up" may be a stretch, but you get what I mean. And Wingnut has always been super annoying to me, so I would have been okay had she not been in the movie at all. But I digress.

Okay, so, plot. Since Shredder isn't the main villain, the plot isn't the usual "stop Shredder from conquering Earth" thing. The movie starts with Baxter Stockman raising a giant mutant baby fly - in a crib and all - in a lab surrounded by test tubes of animals. Yeah, I didn't make that up. Animals of all different species and sizes are somehow shrunken down to conveniently fit inside a test tube.

Some heavy-duty suit guys break in and grab Stockman to take all his research at the behest of a mysterious woman named Cynthia Utrom. We know from prior series and lore that the Utroms are the alien race that created the ooze that caused the mutations of, well, all mutants. Utrom looks like a woman here, but she could be wearing a human suit like in the 2003 series. We don't know, and we don't find out.

Anyway, the baby fly escapes and takes out all the suits because, well, he's super strong and inhuman. And he has wings. He manages to grab all Stockman's test tubes and book it out of there, and then we fast forward to 15 years later where we meet our protagonists. Their current mission? To acquire necessities for the lair from a list given to them by Splinter. So they do this and they're like, "Hey, we've only been gone for a little bit. Let's go check out the outdoor movie playing in the park." So then we get to see them watching Ferris Bueller's Day Off. Yep, a live action movie in a CGI movie with art that's literally meant to resemble sketches like kids would draw.

So then they get back to the lair but Leo guiltily confesses that they all went to watch a movie in close proximity to humans. We're then introduced to the origin story of the turtles and Splinter, and while we're all familiar with it, it's slightly different this time. Splinter was a normal rat before, but he wasn't anyone's pet. He was a typical NYC rat, hated by humans (and raccoons... and dogs...) and one day he finds himself in the sewers and comes upon four baby turtles crawling around in green ooze. This ooze had come from a canister kicked into a sewer grate from Stockman's lab earlier. Splinter was shocked that the turtles took right to him, and they were the first and only things to not instantly hate him or want to kill him. So of course he touches the ooze and mutates, as do the turtles. He raises them as his sons, and honestly, I don't recall ever hearing him being called Splinter. All the turtles called him Dad. I don't think we ever knew his name... so if you didn't know of any other TMNT series before this, you'd have no idea what his name was.

Anyway, the turtles, as kids, wanted to go above ground one day, and Splinter thought he'd give it a try. Bad idea, because, of course, everyone freaked out and chased them away. So Splinter vowed to keep his sons safe and refused to let them leave the lair except to get supplies. We're also treated to a montage of cheesy old footage of actual martial arts movies/shows depicting how Splinter trained the turtles in ninjitsu as a means of self defense. He now loathes humans and wants nothing to do with them, and wants the same for his sons.

So after the confession of watching a movie, the turtles get grounded and are all talking in their room about what they'd do if they could be normal. Meanwhile, a crime spree has broken out with mega villain Superfly (yep, that's his name) stealing all kinds of high-tech scientific items... and if anyone sees his face, he kills them.

We're soon introduced to April, who, this time, is not an adult reporter. She's an aspiring reporter in high school, and she's collecting information on the Superfly case because, due to the crime spree, the school's prom has been cancelled and she thinks she can get it back if she solves the mystery of Superfly.

Well, the guys are throwing ninja starts at watermelons (because why not) on the rooftop one night, and one lands in April's helmet. As she's chewing out the shadows on the roof that she can't see, someone steals her scooter. And Leo decides this would be a great time to play hero and get the scooter back for the "beautiful human girl." Yeah, in the 2012 version, Donnie had a crush on April. This time around, apparently it's Leo.

The guys then partake in their first actual fight with bad guys - I'd love to say that I went YES in the theater when a car radio turns on and "Ninja Rap" from the original second movie is playing - and shortly thereafter, April sees them. But she doesn't freak out even when she realizes they're not wearing costumes. She's more interested in getting a story about them for the school newspaper. But of course, considering they aren't supposed to be seen or known about, that won't do. April then tells the guys that, had they not helped her beforehand by getting her scooter back, she probably would have had a much different and more negative reaction to seeing them. This gives the turtles an idea: Become heroes by finding Superfly and bringing him to justice, allow April to get it all on film to showcase them as heroes, and then she can write and submit her story.

April accepts the terms, and the turtles go to her high school with her and are all "ooohh, ahh, we want to go here." They find April's locker, which has been graffitied with things like "puke girl." We're then treated to the ever delightful scene of our female protagonist spewing what looks like green ooze all over a desk because of nerves while giving the morning announcements. Look, I know this is CGI and not real, but that was completely unnecessary. More on that later.

So to get to Superfly, the guys have to interrupt a transfer of goods, i.e. the final piece of some machine Superfly is building for his nefarious plot (which we don't know what it is yet). The guys are waiting in the truck and he shows up... with Bebop and Rocksteady. You remember them. The mutant warthog and rhino, respectively, from 1987 and 2012? Shredder's mutant allies? The ones Shredder created? Yeah, those two. Well, this time, since there is no Shredder, they were created in Stockman's lab. Remember all the animals in test tubes? Yeah, they're all grown now as well, raised by Superfly since he was the oldest. Stockman's plan was to create a family of mutants because he was never liked or understood by people. Superfly's plan is to pick up where his "father" left off... by turning all animals into mutants and killing all humans.

So of course, eventually the turtles manage to turn the tables and attempt to escape with the last piece of the machine Superfly needs to spread the mutagen. But of course, that falls apart and a bunch of Utrom's suits find and capture them. April races back to the lair to tell Splinter that his sons are in trouble... yeah, that's an awkward first meeting. Splinter shows up and takes out all the suits (Utrom has been taken away to safety), saves his sons, and they all start to head back home to come up with a plan to stop Superfly. It results in them basically appealing to all the other mutants, telling them that they don't have to listen to Superfly and that they have a choice. Surprise, surprise, they all turn against the big bad. Even Rocksteady and Bebop, and they're supposed to be villains... I realize their origin is different here, but come on.

Well, everyone takes out the giant mutagen machine... sort of. It lands in the river below, where there are dozens of species of sea life. Yep, you guessed it. Superfly merges with all the animals in the river. He gets a whale body, crab pinchers, some sort of tail, etc. And, for some reason, random horses on his legs. Wha... Oh, and he's now taller than the Empire State Building. Awesome.

Yeah, as if he wasn't ugly enough before LOL. Well, the suits in Utrom's lab had been working on an anti-mutagen, and April managed to swipe one of these canisters... somehow. It didn't really show how, she just did it. Times Square has a huge news report going on about mutants attacking, so April manages to get inside the Channel 6 (yep, the right station!) building to take over the report and explain that she knows the truth - that the only bad mutant is the giant fly/whale hybrid thing. And then she pukes again. Seriously, STOP THAT.

Splinter is trying to get to his sons, but Superfly manages to knock him back hard enough to break his leg. Humans approach, and he's terrified... but they're reaching for him to help him. So then we have humans and mutants working together to get the anti-mutagen to the turtles, who manage to throw it into Superfly's weak spot - the whale blow hole. Yep, that takes care of it. So then the turtles are revered as heroes, and the other mutants are all now living in the sewers with them... and the turtles wind up going to high school. They're got human clothes on, ditch their masks, etc. And all the kids welcome them and think they're super cool. April's locker has been re-graffitied with things like "cool girl" instead of "puke girl," and then the movie just... ends.

Then we get a post-credits scene, showing how the turtles are getting along in high school. Each one seems to have found his niche, and they're even all at the prom together. However, Utrom is watching them, and she says that capturing them will be difficult. So she asks her assistant to bring her... The Shredder! Then we see an outline of Shredder before the scene cuts away. So yeah, totally open for a sequel, as is the norm with movies these days. In fact, a sequel (and TV series) has actually already been confirmed! I mean, honestly, how could Seth Rogen, a self-admitted TMNT addict, create a TMNT movie without at least planning for Shredder to be in it?

So, all in all, it wasn't a bad movie. I appreciate the throwbacks to the original series, and I'm glad to see my favorite heroes getting so much recognition again.

However, there are definitely some things in this movie that weren't necessary. The top of that list is April's barfing scene. She was nervous doing the morning announcements at school and wound up throwing up as a result. Then later, during her news broadcast telling everyone that the only bad mutant is Superfly, she does it again... honestly, I get that we may need a reason for her to rather be behind the camera instead of in front of it, and she needs an obstacle to jump over to tell the people who tease her to suck it, but did it have to be that??? We're showing puke in kids' movies now? Please, just, don't... I don't care that it's a cartoon and looked like the ooze that mutated our beloved heroes. That doesn't mean I want to see it spewing out of someone's mouth. What is it with Seth Rogen and vomit movies? Is it like some unwritten rule that someone has to upchuck in everything he's in? UGH.

Also, this movie is rated PG, but... were all the nipple references necessary? Splinter is legit concerned that, if his sons are found by humans, they'll be put in a lab and milked...and they're like, "But we don't even have nipples!" Then the turtles say the same thing to April when she talks about writing a story about them, and she asks how that could be done for the same reason. Then later, in Utrom's lab, they are getting milked... but, I mean, how... way too much emphasis on that.

And did Splinter seriously need a love interest? With an unintelligible giant bug? Just... why? That's wrong on so many levels.

It was said from the start that this movie would focus mostly on the "teenager" aspect, and it absolutely did that. The guys weren't all serious about ninja training and mastering new techniques; they were more interested in what it would be like to be a normal kid, go to school, go to the prom, etc. And since it's 2023, and because it's Seth Rogen, we have to have some swearing and such, even in a cartoon. Mostly it's by Superfly (aka Ice Cube), so not surprising. But even the original 1990 live action movie had cursing LOL.

You know, I'm almost positive that the turtles never officially introduced themselves to April upon meeting her. She introduced herself, but I don't think they ever identified themselves. The closest we came was in they were in the school and Michelangelo was signing himself up for a talent show. We all know who they are, but a human meeting them for the first time more than likely wouldn't. Hmmm... I think some details got overlooked. Just like how I swear Splinter's name wasn't mentioned once in the entire hour and 49 minutes of the movie's runtime.

Anyway, as a hard-core TMNT fan, I did enjoy the movie. Definitely some things that I would have changed, and others that should have stayed true to the original, but all in all it wasn't bad. I think I can give it 8/10 and be satisfied. :)

[xoxardnekoxo]

Movie Review: The Barbie Movie

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!

Somehow I managed to see the live action Barbie movie on opening weekend! It took a couple of days, but I made it!

Who isn't familiar with the most iconic fashion doll of all time? Without Barbie, there would be no fashion dolls. Since her introduction in 1959, the one-sixth scale doll has taken over the world with more than 200 careers and at least twice as many fashions and accessories.

But enough about that. Let's get to it. This is a movie review, not a doll review.

The teaser trailer turned out to be the opening of the whole movie, and I love it. Yes, there have always been dolls for little girls to play with. But until 1959, when Barbie entered the plastic world, the only dolls girls had were baby dolls or paper dolls. So basically dolls were a way of preparing girls for a future of motherhood and housekeeping. Okay, that's fine, if that's what you truly want.

So we see all the girls playing with their dolls and suddenly this Godzilla-like doll just pops up out of nowhere, prompting the girls to throw and smash their baby dolls in favor of this new toy. Then we get to a transition scene showing various women in Barbie attire - and they're all actual clothes that have existed over the decades! They even threw in one of the new Fashionista wheelchairs in there and one of the most recent vet fashion packs. When this movie comes out for purchase, I'm totally taking notes of what all outfits I see.

Enter Barbie Land. We've seen a lot of it in the trailers, but I'm still super amazed at the set design. Major props to those guys! They literally designed and built Barbie-size houses and created a layout/cul-de-sac of them in order to recreate them in life size. And there's literally dollhouses! Every Barbie home has a back wall and maybe a side wall or two. The front is always open, so every Barbie can see into every other Barbie's house at all times. Just like a real dollhouse! And inside those houses are various plastic pieces of furniture and decor, along with some stickers. Yep, there are food items in the fridge that are actually stickers, and the stove is also a sticker. Heart-shaped waffles, a slide that spirals down into a pool at floor level with painted water, stationary ocean waves, etc. It's literally a real-life plastic world. I love that! Barbie movies and shows in the past portray Barbie as though she were a real person, and of course her house reflects that. This movie is saying Barbie is a doll and is treating her as such.

The houses also have no stairs in them, so the dolls magically float from floor to floor in their homes, just like how girls move them between rooms. And getting dressed entails seeing an outfit already planned out and magically appearing on the Barbie. Brilliant!

So this all sounds like a cute movie, right? Well, it is, but keep in mind - this movie is rated PG-13 for "suggestive content." When I first heard that, I was like, what..... Not that it bothers me, but this is a movie about the number-one fashion doll in history, and fashion dolls are catered more to young children than anyone. So I was wondering what in the world this suggestive content would be. I would soon find out.

During the narrator's introductions, we meet Barbie's very first friend, Midge. Who, sadly, is no longer even in the Mattel lineup after being discontinued in 2004. You all know the story, right? Midge and Allan (later Alan) got married in 1990 or so, and in 2002, they were reintroduced with their three-year-old son, Ryan, and their infant daughter, Nikki (yes, that was her name - it just came later). Well, Midge came with a magnetic detachable pregnant belly that little Nikki was inside. People flipped at the thought of kids playing with a pregnant doll, saying it encouraged teenage pregnant. (Yeah, okay, sure.) So Mattel re-released her later with Nikki and no belly. That story was mentioned in the movie. Other recalled/cancelled/controversial dolls also made an appearance in the movie, including the infamous Earring Magic King and Sugar's Daddy Ken, along with Growing Up Skipper, Teen Talk Barbie, and Video Camera Barbie. So the movie is educational too! :D

Anyway, we're soon introduced to Ken, who's literally introduced as only being happy when he's noticed by Barbie. After all, he was created just to be her boyfriend. So Barbie's at the beach with all the other Barbies, and everyone is vying for Barbie's attention, including other Kens. So the main Ken decides to show off his surfing skills, only to bang right into the stationary wave and embarrassingly fly back into the sand. This starts a verbal squabble between him and another Ken about "beaching off." Yeah, they're talking about beaching each other off, saying things like "You can't even beach yourself off, I'll beach you off any day," etc. Yeah, say it fast enough, and it totally sounds like something else. There's part of your suggestive content right there. Then Barbie jumps in with, "No one is beaching anyone off!"

Then it's a disco party at the Dreamhouse. Well, one of them, since they're all Dreamhouses. Everything is all fine and dandy, dolls are dancing around in perfect sync, etc., until suddenly Barbie says, "Do you ever think about dying?" But she quickly rectifies this and the party continues. Then she and Ken are outside and Ken asks if he can stay at Barbie's house for the night, to which she asks why. "Because we're boyfriend and girlfriend." "What would we do?" "I honestly don't know." We all know what the implication was...

But it's Girl's Night... as it is every night, so Ken has to leave. "It's Barbie's Dreamhouse, not Ken's Dreamhouse." Ouch.

So, that whole death question thing? It prompts some less than satisfying events, including Barbie waking up with morning breath, having a cold shower (in a house with no water, mind you), a burnt waffle, and - gasp! - flat feet.

Yep, she no longer stands on her toes! Not sure why that was such a huge issue because dozens of Barbies have been made with flat feet, even back in the 90s (including Hot Skatin' Barbie, who makes an appearance later).

So when Barbie explains this to the other Barbies, they tell her she has to go see Weird Barbie, aka the Barbie who was played with too roughly. Kudos for this design lol, Kate McKinnon is portrayed as a doll with a dress covered in Crayon stains, cut/burned-off hair, marker scribbles on her face, always doing the splits, etc. She also owns the dog Tanner, another discontinued Mattel product of a dog that would eat a treat and then poop it out (it was recalled due to magnets getting swallowed by kids). She explains to Barbie that something must be happening with the girl who is playing with her in the Real World, and so she must travel there to see what the problem is to make everything go back to normal - and to not get cellulite!!! Yep, Weird Barbie points out that there is now cellulite on Barbie's thighs, and she's like:

Yep, it's real. Run. So anyway, Barbie then gets in her undersized Corvette (yep, even the Barbie car in the movie is under-scaled compared to real life cars - the windshield is shorter than her head lol) and heads for the Real World with a stowaway Ken in tow. When they get to California (where Mattel's headquarters are), they're both wearing their Hot Skatin' outfits from the mid-90s. That was some great nostalgia.

Skating through LA looking like, well, a couple of dolls, people start staring at the two, and Barbie is getting cat-called. Ken is too, by some guys LOL. When they come up to a group of construction guys, they say sexist remarks and Barbie literally says, "It sounds like you're saying a double entendre, but I don't have a vagina, and he doesn't have a penis." Yeah, Barbie literally said the words vagina and penis.

Eventually the two decide to maybe ditch their skating outfits, so instead don some matching western attire. Yeah, they just happen to find a random shop with a pink western women's outfit and a matching one for guys.

Barbie is searching for the girl responsible for the weird things happening to her in Barbie Land, so Ken goes off on his own and discovers that, in the Real World, men hold all the power and are more than accessories, unlike in Barbie Land. He sees male cops on horses, male presidents on dollar bills, male doctors, etc. He grabs a bunch of books and reads up on this, and he's heading to meet back up with Barbie to tell her about this, except she's been found by Mattel execs (who are aware of two dolls that escaped Barbie Land - much like a baby-sitting Skipper many years ago) and escorted to HQ. So Ken returns to Barbie Land with his newfound information.

Barbie eventually escapes the Mattel suits (led by Will Ferrell, who is playing, in my opinion, his only decent role in a film ever) and is rescued by the girl she was looking for. Well, the girl's mother - it was her mother who prompted the events, not the girl. In any event, the three of them head back to Barbie Land and discover it to be completely taken over by the Kens. Yep, Ken turned Barbie Land into a patriarchy. That word is even used multiple times.

The Barbies are now cheerleaders cheering for the Kens, serving them drinks (yep, beer included), etc. The Dreamhouses have become Mojo Dojo Casa Houses, and none of the Barbies are in charge anymore. So no Barbie president, doctor, scientist, etc. Turns out Ken was having an existential crisis. He then tells Barbie that it's Boy's Night at his house, and it's Boy's Night every night.

So this causes Barbie to spiral into a feeling of failure and depression. Oh, and as all of this is happening in Barbie Land, it trickles into the real world. So Ken's masculine houses and cars start popping up in stores, as does a commercial for Depressed Barbie.

Weird Barbie brings Barbie and the humans to her place, where we're introduced to the other aforementioned outcast dolls. We even get a live-action demonstration of Growing Up Skipper (turn her arm and her breasts grow).

Then the mother gives an inspirational speech that pretty much snaps all the Barbies out of their brainwashed funk. Now, why did they allow all the Kens to take over to begin with? Well, as the mother explained, it was like a virus - the Barbies had no defense over such a thing because it wasn't fathomed to ever even happen. But anyway, one by one, the Barbies return to their former selves and remember who they were. The Kens have planned a vote to change the Barbie Land constitution, so the Barbies band together to basically set the Kens against each other in order to take back Barbie Land. Yep, a movie about a plastic doll turned into a governmental conflict.

The main Ken and the other "beach off" Ken are pretty much rivals in this movie, so each one leads a group of Kens into an all-out brawl. And by brawl I mean they're throwing plastic arrows at each other, bashing each other with tennis rackets, etc. We even see some on hobby horses charging into battle.

Somehow, that winds up in a musical number and then they realize it was voting day. Yeah, too late. They show back up to the cul-de-sac (there is a Monty Python reference here, as they're totally fake-riding horses and making clacking sounds) where the Dreamhouses have been restored to their former glory. Ken is like, "Do these houses look a little more... dreamy?" President Barbie comes down the stairs and says, "That's because they're Dreamhouses, motherf*****." Yep, just like that. They bleep out the second half of that word, but we all know what she meant.

So then Barbie and Ken need to resolve their issues. Ken loves Barbie, but she only sees him as a friend. And Ken says he isn't sure what his role is, only that he was created to be Barbie's boyfriend. "It's always Barbie and Ken, never just Ken." So Barbie tells him that he needs to discover who he is without her. Then the Mattel suits walk in and get ready to close off the portal between the two worlds, when Barbie says she doesn't know what her ending is. And then we're treated to a meeting with Ruth Handler, the creator of Barbie herself. (Not the real person, obviously, but still a great tribute.) Ruth designed Barbie to not have an ending. She's always changing and evolving. That's the point.

But Barbie says she doesn't feel like Barbie anymore. So Ruth takes her to a private area and talks to her, and Barbie basically asks if she can become a human. Why, I don't know. She's a perfect doll in a perfect world, and the human world is a mess. We all know it. That's why we have dolls!!! But yeah, so, Barbie, the number one fashion doll in the world, becomes a human. She takes the name of Ruth's daughter, Barbara (true story, as that's who Barbie was named after), and meets up with the mom and daughter again. The movie literally ends with Barbie (Barbara Handler) saying, "I'm here to see my gynecologist."

Yep, that's the end. Then we get to see pictures of actual dolls featured in the movie (not all of them, but most of them), including the controversial ones. That was a nice touch for anyone unfamiliar with the history.

So, will there be a sequel? Obviously they left it open for one. That's the norm for movies these days. My thoughts? I wasn't entirely sure what I was expecting, but I had kept hearing that the movie has a lot of messages catered toward the government and society as a whole. For instance, when Barbie meets the girl she thought she was there for, the girl tells her that, despite what she believes and what she was created to be, Barbie is a doll that represents a backwards feminist movement and unrealistic body proportions. Basically everything Barbie haters say about her. Mattel knows this is said about their biggest product, and they put it in the movie LOL. Then the whole patriarchy thing, and the feeling of not knowing yourself. It's all there. It's not just a movie about a doll.

So, overall, I did enjoy the movie, but there were some things we could have gone without. The whole vagina/penis thing? How does Barbie even know what those words are, honestly LOL. Noticeably absent were her sisters - we did see Growing Up Skipper, but that's it. And she was one of the discontinued dolls. Allan is in the movie, and there's only one of him as opposed to multiple Kens. He even says that all Ken's clothes fit him, because that's literally what was on the doll box in real life. That was funny. As for the musical numbers, I found them unnecessary. They didn't add anything to the story - only runtime. But I absolutely love the set design and all the clothes, especially the real ones that were created before this movie existed. I think Margot Robbie was a great choice for Barbie. I remember when this was first leaked years ago, there were rumors about Amy Schumer playing Barbie. OMG that would have been a disaster. I can NOT see her playing Barbie. She's just... not Barbie. LOL. And though I wasn't on board with Ryan Gosling playing Ken at first, as he just seemed too old, it actually wasn't bad. And it wasn't going to deter me from seeing the movie.

Overall, I'll give the movie 8/10. Wasn't perfect but I did enjoy it. If there is a sequel, I'm sure I'll see it too!

P.S. No, the song Barbie Girl isn't in the movie. I don't think Mattel is a fan of it because it supposedly makes fun of the doll, or so I read. LOL

[djpaige]

But srsly though

If you ever find yourself in a Disney movie

And someone or something starts being mysteriously surrounded by lime green

Stay away from the thing

Everything lime green is evil

Just remember that.

Everything lime green is evil.

[susielesbian]

Every Villain Is Lime 

[xoxardnekoxo]

Movie Review: Mulan (2020)

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!

Ah, Mulan. One of my all-time favorite Disney movies. I loved it so much I had a life-size plush Mushu, a Disney Beanie Baby talking Mushu, a Mulan Barbie, every action figure made, a chirping Crikee, and even a Mushu/Crikee alarm clock. It’s no surprise that when Disney announced a live action version of this movie, I was all over it. The three-time delay in theaters due to the pandemic was disappointing, but then again, so was having to pay $30 on top of a monthly fee I already pay for Disney+.

When the movie was first announced, we knew right away that three things would be lacking that were in the beloved cartoon:

1. Mushu 2. Shang 3. Songs

I immediately jumped on this band wagon at the announcement of no Mushu:

Supposedly the actual country of China strongly disliked Disney’s animated interpretation of an actual legend from their homeland. I don’t know the full details, but I do know that with that in mind, Disney wanted to make the live action version of the movie more authentic to the actual story. This really wasn’t meant to be a remake of the cartoon, but a more accurate take on real events.

I know it’s Disney and that usually means music, but honestly, I’m okay with no songs. I outgrew musicals 15+ years ago. I was even okay with no Shang (but it makes no sense when there is an obvious, if unfulfilled, love interest in this version as well).

Much as I love Mushu, I was still eager to see this movie because I’m a fan of Asian culture in general and was curious to see how this movie would play out. Imagine my surprise when I learned that this version would consist of a phoenix and a witch.

How is that any different than a dragon? Is it because dragons are kind of sacred to the Chinese? A phoenix is similar - it’s a bird that is reborn from fire. And a witch? I highly doubt that actually happened in the original story. Did it? I don’t know, but my point remains.

Unlike the cartoon, Mulan in this adaptation knows quite a bit about combat already. We can see her as a child using her skills quite often, and her father tells her to contain her (strong) chi. Speaking of chi, it’s mentioned quite a lot in this movie. Apparently what makes Mulan such a strong/good fighter and leader is her strong chi. Chi is mentioned so much all I could think of was this:

(Chobits anime)

Mulan doesn’t have her dog (Little Brother) in this movie, but she does have a little sister. Interestingly enough, the original story depicts her as having a younger brother, but he was too young to fight. So if Disney was going for accuracy, they still could have gone that route and stayed true to the source material.

As with the cartoon, Mulan does meet the matchmaker, but she doesn’t go in alone. She goes in with her mother and sister, the latter of which is terrified of spiders. Instead of a lucky cricket causing a catastrophe during this “audition,” a spider decides to scurry in and scare the younger sister, prompting the cacophony. So really, it’s the sister’s fault Mulan brings dishonor in the matchmaker’s eyes.

Mulan’s father is frequently chastised by her mother for encouraging her boy-like behavior. “She is your daughter, not your son.” Rude. But remember, this is a different era. The only way a female could bring honor to her family was to be a good wife and bear sons. Still, harsh.

So we all know what happens next. One man from every family has to join in a fight against some turd determined to take over the empire, in this case one who is using a witch to help him, and Mulan takes her father’s place since she fears for his life. But she has good reason to - the poor guy needs help walking and even her mother said he won’t return from battle this time. Way to sugar-coat it, lady.

So we get to the men’s camp... no wait, first, we get lost and a phoenix (symbolic, since it appears no one else is able to see it at all) shows up to guide Mulan to where she needs to go. Yes, instead of asking the ancestors for help, her father asked the family guardian (phoenix) to watch over her. Okay.

Eventually we get to a large tent shared by all the soldiers. Yes, this time, they don’t all get their own individual tent. And of course, all the men are running around half dressed, throwing things at each other, rough-housing, you know the drill. It’s especially amusing when one of them loses his towel and Mulan immediately closes her eyes and cringes.

Then the commander asks for a night guard volunteer. Mulan proceeds to volunteer for this every night to avoid having to shower with the men. Too bad they all start to notice the smell. Funny, in the cartoon, Mulan absolutely did not want to smell like a man at all. It takes her quite some time before she’s able to sneak into the river to bathe. Too bad one of the guys decides to follow her in and she has to hide herself. :D

During training, rules and penalties are revealed, and the penalty for pretty much doing anything wrong is death. Except one thing - dishonesty. Dishonesty brings expulsion from the army as well as dishonor to the family. Don’t talk to a woman or you’ll die, but pour out some water to make the buckets lighter during a strength exercise and get humiliated.

So we eventually get to a big battle scene with all the flying arrows, and Mulan, of course, winds up by herself fighting the witch. The witch can obviously tell that Mulan is hiding her true self, so she’s all, “You’re going to die pretending to be something you’re not.” Then something pierces the wrap Mulan uses to hide her chest and she decides the best course of action is to go back to her comrades as her female self. The whole “big reveal” scene is her taking her hair down (which she does not cut with a sword by the way - in fact, she doesn’t cut it at all) and walking out of the fog and introducing herself. To me, that was very anti-climactic.

The cherry on top of that is when, after being expelled from the army for dishonesty (weird though, another rule was to not consort with women at all and yet she actually IS a woman and isn’t killed), she returns to the camp and the men immediately accept her for who she is because she’s all, “The emperor is in danger and I know how to save him.”

So the commander allows her to lead a group of men into the Imperial City to save the emperor, who is quite a warrior himself - he breaks out his armor to fight the Hun (not Shan-Yu, I don’t even remember what his name is this time), then Mulan shows up and of course she and the witch team up because, hey, why not? They’re both misunderstood women always being told to stay in their place, except the witch is controlled by the Hun and Mulan is free.

The witch can transform into a hawk or something like that (probably a shout out to Shan-Yu’s pet from the cartoon) and she actually flies in front of Mulan to save her from getting pierced by an arrow. So of course she dies in our protagonist’s arms and is all, “Take your place.” And of course, as expected, Mulan saves the day. And let me just say, how many times can one possibly kick an arrow and send it flying straight toward a designated target? It happens at least five times in this movie, and just once is a one in a million shot. Yeah, cool effect, but totally not accurate, Disney. I thought that was the whole point of this movie - more accuracy to the source content. And you also wanted to appease China. Too bad it didn’t work this time around, either.

The movie ends with Mulan being offered a position on the emperor’s army (nice cameo by Ming-Na Wen, the original voice of Mulan from the cartoon!), but she chooses to go back home - where her sister has been matched to someone who isn’t afraid of spiders.

Yay! Then Mulan’s commander and some other guys show up and offer her the same job the emperor did, only in front of her entire village, so everyone knows she has now brought honor to her family and the country, prompting the matchmaker to faint because she was proven wrong.

So then she does take the job after all, and that’s pretty much the end. Shang isn’t in the movie but there is one fellow soldier she seems to have fun with in practice combat, and he’s super eager to accept her as a woman, even saying she’s the best soldier they’ve got. But nothing comes of that - the two part ways as friends, but honestly, I think it’s okay in these circumstances. Throwing a love story into this rendition just wouldn’t work.

So all in all, not a bad movie, but I think I probably should have waited until it was available on regular Disney+ or DVD instead of spending $30 on premiere access. But I would have spent that going to the theater anyway, so I guess it’s not so bad. I do know a lot of people absolutely hated this movie and it’s gotten bad reviews. I didn’t mind it, but I think my favorite live-action Disney movie so far is Aladdin. This one is probably in second place, though. I think the reason people dislike it so much is that there are so many things missing that were in the cartoon. But again, this is not meant to be a remake of the cartoon - it’s meant to be a more accurate version. But you just can’t make everyone happy.

Overall, I’d give the movie a 7/10. It could have been better, could have been worse. I still prefer the cartoon but it was interesting to see this version as well. Now to see what other live action movies get made... and we’ll see if The Little Mermaid can beat this with a black Ariel. I think I should audition for the role of Snow White - I have the short hair, pale skin, and am always talking to animals. If Ariel can be black, Snow White can be fat!

[xoxardnekoxo]

Woman’s Post Bragging About Driving To Another State Over Mask Mandate Goes Viral

Well aren't we entitled?

Are you serious? People like this self-entitled bitch who only think of themselves is what is wrong with today’s society. It’s also people like this who are the reason this virus keeps spreading. Put on your big girl panties and obey the law. Coming from a heavily infested area to a sparsely populated area is dangerous. I’m sorry, but I hope she gets the virus. I also hope Trump gets it considering he’s setting absolutely no example for the idiots that blindly follow him. He thinks the whole thing is a hoax despite the numbers saying otherwise. He refuses to wear a mask. The leader of our country and what kind of example is he setting? It leads to people like this stupid woman, and that’s why the shit keeps spreading. Just... UGH!

[xoxardnekoxo]

[xoxardnekoxo]

This is pure gold!!!

[xoxardnekoxo]

Top 10 Ridiculous Fashion Trends of the Decade

Here’s my weigh-in:

CROCS: Hey! I happen to love my Crocs! I have like 10 pairs in different colors and wear them, and only them, in the summer. I can't stand flip flops - they hurt my feet and 90% of the time they break anyway. And regular sandals? I just wore a brand new pair this past summer and the sole literally fell off. I've had my Crocs since high school and they're still going strong. And they're still being made, and I see a good number of people still wearing them. Croc and roll!

MAN BUN: Yeah, not a fan of the man bun, either. Even Mattel has embraced it, as several of their new Ken dolls are sporting it. But I'm also not a fan of the "gymnastics ponytail" that was a fad in my area for quite some time. You know, the one where a girl puts her hair in a ponytail, then tucks about half of it back through the holder and just leaves it sit there? Looks like she got interrupted while doing her hair properly and just left it as it was. Put it in a bun or a ponytail, not in between.

CLOTHES/FASHION: Bike shorts are right up there with yoga pants/leggings - as in, they are NOT pants and shouldn't be worn as such.

Athleisure? It's just a fancy name for "laziness." Looks like something you'd wear to bed, not in public.

And don't get me started on long fingernails. I keep mine cut super short so I'm able to actually, I don't know, WORK. I type 100 wpm and a big part of my job is typing. Having long nails hinders my ability to type fast and accurately, not to mention how easy they are to break. And FYI, under the fingernail is one of the dirtiest parts on the human body. No thanks.

Uh... Bermuda shorts? Really? What's wrong with those? Not everyone wants to wear short-shorts that leave little or nothing to the imagination. Some of us are allowed to wear shorts to work, but they have to be at a certain length. Short-shorts wouldn't cut it, obviously. I'm lucky to even find a pair of those shorts, and I absolutely love them!

Mini bags? Yeah, no, I have to have a big purse, one that's referred to as a satchel. And definitely with multiple pockets, not just one big one where everything gets disorganized.

OMG sock sneakers! That is a million times worse than Crocs could ever hope to be. People are officially so lazy they can't be bothered to put on socks AND shoes - it has to be one connected piece.

Tiny sunglasses? Okay, smaller frames are fine, but tiny to the point of them looking like an outline effect of your eyeball? What's the point? You can't tell me they protect your eyes from the sun. Regular eyeglasses, however, are becoming impossible to find in anything other than the large "nerdy" style, which doesn't help people like me with small eyes that don't look good in those giant hipster frames.

[hanavbara]

it’s october 3rd so mean girls as a 90’s anime 💋💄💖✨

[xoxardnekoxo]

OH YEAH! EPIC!

[xoxardnekoxo]

Movie Review: Child’s Play (2019)

WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD!

Well, it happened. Hollywood is so unoriginal these days that all they can do is remake old classic movies. When I first heard about this reboot, I was very excited. I’m a fan of the original Child’s Play series, which is ironic considering my mother and I are both big doll collectors and our houses are full of them. :D

So, once again we’re introduced to Andy and his mother, Karen. They’ve moved to a new place for a fresh start, and the “big” thing to get for kids (and apparently pre-teens) is the new Buddi doll. No, not Good Guys, Buddi. The doll works in sync with an app and can connect to any Kaslan (the company that makes the doll) device like a TV, phone, tablet, etc. It’s basically a lot like Alexa or Google Home, only in doll form.

In the original story, the doll is possessed by a serial killer. In this story, the doll is “evil” because a disgruntled employee removes all the safety features from the programming, and of course our protagonists are the ones that end up with that one doll. And they only end up with it because a customer brings it back for a refund, and she even says the eyes are glowing red and it’s glitchy. Sure, let’s take an obviously defective toy home to your teenage kid... He obviously wasn’t too thrilled with it because, again, he’s like 13. Creepy.

The doll works by “learning” things from its owner. Of course, this one has a potty mouth since the censoring has all been removed. So Andy and some friends are watching a horror movie, and cracking up at all the killing scenes with knives, blood spewing everywhere, etc. So Chucky (yes, he keeps his original name, though that was a mistake because Andy tried to name him Han Solo, which was weird) grabs a knife and repeats what the characters on the TV said and gets eerily close to Andy and his friends with said knife. So Andy tells him he can’t do that, and the problem seems to be solved.

Andy and his mom have a cat that Andy doesn’t like. The thing scratches him for every little thing, and in a frustrated stupor, he mumbles that he’s tired of the cat and hates it. So Chucky starts to choke it, but Andy stops him. Karen is dating a total jerk that treats them both like crap, and Chucky records Andy saying the guy is an asshole, and when he’s at school, that recording plays in front of Karen and the boyfriend. So Karen takes Chucky away and mentions how he upsets the cat anyway... so what does Chucky do? He breaks out of his makeshift prison (it’s a glass cabinet) and kills the cat so he and Andy can “play together again.”

Then the boyfriend gets spooked by Chucky (although, it’s not entirely the doll’s fault because Andy and his friends decide a great way to play with this doll is to scare the crap out of the boyfriend with it, which basically taught him to do this), and he pushes Andy down on the bed, then Andy screams and bellows how he wants the guy to leave them alone and how much he hates him. So Chucky stows away in the guy’s car and, after pushing him off a tall ladder (oh, and this guy is married with kids FYI), starts up a mulching machine and... you can guess the rest. Of course, he takes it a step further and skins the guy’s face, then puts it on Andy’s dresser as a “present.”

Andy calls his friends over and they get the brilliant idea to wrap this skinned face up with wrapping paper to hide it... Right... Then later on, a neighbor tells Andy that he’s her new best friend because he helped her figure out the Kaslan app. So the next step for Chucky to do is kill her in the Kaslan car (it’s literally a self-driving car, and yes he can control it because it’s the same brand).

There is also a creepy maintenance guy in the building who has cameras in every woman’s apartment. So after the skinned face incident, Andy and his friends rip out the power supply in the doll’s chest and chuck him into the garbage chute. The maintenance man finds him, restores him with some type of power core or something, and he’s back! Wonderful... and of course he has to kill this guy first. How? Well, he slices him in several places with a knife, prompting him to climb onto a table... which has a rotating saw on it. Yeah, surely he could have found a safer place to climb. So then he jumps up and grabs a pipe, but these dolls can also control the thermostat! Overpowered, much? So yeah, Chucky makes the pipe like 200 degrees, forcing the guy to let go and land on the table saw, promptly slicing into his crotch.

So everyone is all excited about Buddi 2, which will feature new models of the same doll, one of which looks like a teddy bear. Well, if you can call it that. It’s quite terrifying, honestly. But anyway, everyone is at the store to get one, including Andy and his mom since she works there, and of course Chucky shows up, stabs the guy in the Buddi mascot costume (yes, there is one, with a gigantic head no less), and his blood spews all over a little girl (that was intense). And then suddenly, Chucky has tapped into everyone’s phones and the TVs in the store, and... drones. Yes, the company also has drones, and Chucky is controlling them. Great. You’ve probably guessed that there were some death by drone scenes. Oh, and those creepy teddy bears? And the new dolls? Yep, he starts controlling them too and they go all vampire on some people and bite their necks.

Then Chucky kidnaps Andy’s mom and attempts to hang her, and then we get the final showdown. Chucky’s head gets ripped off, and then Andy and his friends are seen going all Office Space on the head and corpse with various weapons.

So all in all, pretty cool concept of a remake. But my biggest gripe is the look of the doll. How can an animatronic from 1984 be better than one from 2019? Seriously, this doll is beyond creepy! I wouldn’t want one even if it did function properly and wasn’t associated with a killer instinct. Seriously, how is this new look an improvement? And of course Chris Hammil is no Brad Dourif, but he did a pretty good job with the voice. Considering the route the original Chucky series has gone, the reboot is an improvement. But what’s really scary is the fact that there are so many “smart” devices out there today that it makes you wonder if something like this could happen because some employee gets pissed and removes the safety programs. Self-driving cars are slowly becoming a reality but I don’t know if I’d trust one even if I was paying complete attention to the road.

Anyway, final rating: 7/10.

[xoxardnekoxo]

The Orville S01E10 Firestorm-Clip only - Not whole episode- Regardless, ...

Love this part!!! I can’t stop laughing!

[xoxardnekoxo]

OMG YouTube just keeps getting worse and worse. Just watched My Froggy Stuff live, and apparently they are no longer allowed to "play with" toys that were created for children. So basically anything with an emphasis on children is a no-no for their channel, which means no more DIY Barbie crafts (they may still do it, but they'll be called "miniatures" or whatever), no more Darbie Show, no more custom dolls, and they may not even get to unbox and review toys anymore.

Seriously, YouTube doesn't care about anyone. They keep changing things, and not for the better. I stopped making videos long ago because of their bullshit, but now they're screwing with peoples' livelihoods. It's not just Froggy - all channels are in jeopardy of how they function, and that's literally their job.

So what is the purpose of YouTube now? Everything you do gets blocked or you get told you can't do it. Goodbye creativity... And with all these changes, what about the Sims machinima universe? I can only imagine what YouTube has to say about making movies and videos out of video games. How does the site even function with the way they keep screwing people over?

[xoxardnekoxo]

The CW’s “Nancy Drew”: Real Ghosts, Frank Sex, Diverse Cast and 2019 Sensibility – TCA

Producers of the CW’s new series Nancy Drew solved one mystery right off the bat at today’s TCA panel: The ghost is real. The ghost is Dead Lucy, who wore the crown of Horseshoe Bay’s Sea Queen for…

Interesting... funny, I never pictured Freddie Prinze Jr. as a dad lol but it would have been something cool to see.

I’m a big Nancy Drew fan. I grew up reading her books, have played through all the computer games multiple times, and have seen most of the movies made about her. I figure I’ll still give this series a chance, but people on Facebook are voicing their unhappiness and I can see where they’re coming from after reading this article.

First, Nancy is a teenage detective. That’s the premise of the whole series. She’s also a firm believer that everything is in the real world, like secret passageways and such. Nothing is supernatural. And she’s always level-headed and responsible, using her wits to save the day, even from dangerous, life-threatening situations.

I get it. People age. But this is a character that has been represented in one way since the 1930s. Not everything needs to be modernized. Mysteries can be solved without supernatural creatures floating about. Yes, a lot of Nancy’s mysteries centered around ghosts and the like, but it was always revealed that it was just another person with some fancy magic tricks or gadgets.

I realize that writing a book about a teenage girl in the 30s having sex with her boyfriend would have been a big no-no, and I know that teens have sex these days. I get it. But Nancy never had to do that to be an intriguing series. She was strong and independent, and her mature relationship with her boyfriend never got in the way of her cracking a case. To us older fans, the implication that Nancy and Ned have done the deed is there, and I personally have no problem with it, but I do see the other side of the story as to why so many people are upset.

It’s just another case of Hollywood trying to appeal to a new audience and make everyone happy rather than staying true to the source material. Yes, you can make Nancy modern, but at least keep some of her originality. For instance, in the promo photos I’ve seen, Nancy is a brunette. Every book always describes her as having titian blonde/red hair. Even the video games got that right, and you never actually SEE Nancy, even in a mirror! You just see her titian colored hair from time to time in snapshots or something.

Still, this surely can’t be as bad as the disaster that was the Emma Roberts movie released about 15 years ago. The only thing that movie got right was Nancy being a teenager and the names of her, her dad, and her friends and boyfriend. But that’s a post for another time.

I will say this, however. I can deal with these changes to Nancy Drew a LOT easier than I can with the screw up that was Disney’s casting for Ariel in the live action Little Mermaid. That will NEVER be okay.

[xoxardnekoxo]

Character Creator｜Picrew

My tumblr is at https://sangled.tumblr.com/. There's a lot of customization, so if you ever see ...

I love this thing! You can make yourself into an anime character, or just have fun randomizing. Love these things! :D Here is mine!

[xoxardnekoxo]

RED SHOES AND THE SEVEN DWARFS Trailer (2019)

No one is going to talk about the fact that a heavy girl put on the shoes and turned "beautiful?" That's body shaming, movie. Putting on magical shoes makes this girl "acceptable" to society by making her skinny. They're what make her "beautiful." I'm not okay with this.

[xoxardnekoxo]

Report: Lashana Lynch to play 007 in new Bond movie

There could be a major change in the 'James Bond' movie series. 007 is apparently getting a new face and a new gender.

Please no. NO. Changing Ariel’s race was bad enough. Then removing Mushu, Shang, and songs from Mulan. DO NOT change the gender of one of the most iconic film characters. Changing the race is one thing, and I might even be okay with an African American James Bond, but changing the entire GENDER? The actual name of the whole series is “007 James Bond.” I don’t care if this woman isn’t technically “Bond,” they’re saying she’d get his agent number when he leaves, so she’d be an entirely new character with that iconic number. Jesus Christ Hollywood, STOP IT. If something isn’t broke, DON’T fix it! Make her a Bond girl or something, and do what’s been done for like 50 years or more - change the actor, not the name. Keep Bond. I mean, come on, why would he leave the agency? His character is the whole reason the entire series exists! The creator of this series is probably rolling in his grave more than Walt Disney. 007 is James Bond’s number. Period. I am so boycotting Hollywood...