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SLIDE TO THE LEFT AND SWING THOSE HIPS

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#always

theonion

World’s Oldest Woman Just Pleased Every Other Human On Earth When She Was Born Now Dead

"Reflecting on a long life that began at the end of the 19th century, the world’s oldest woman told reporters Monday that she could not be happier that every other human on earth the day she was born is now deceased. “Nothing, not one single thing, gives me more pleasure than knowing anyone who was alive on March 5, 1898—my family, my friends, and even far-off strangers that I never knew existed—is stone-cold dead,” said 116-year-old Misao Okawa, smiling as she observed how all 1.6 billion of the people who were alive the day she came into the world had passed away, one by one, during her remarkable lifespan. “I’m the sole fucking survivor. I’m the longevity queen. I’m the one who stuck it out while everyone else threw themselves on the corpse pile. Man, it’s too bad I’m in a wheelchair or I’d trample every single one of their fucking graves.” Okawa went on to say her only regret is that she probably won’t outlive all her children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren."

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pre-order Rebel Heart on iTunes

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Is no one gonna talk about homegirls braids in the front row tho

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Source+more info Follow Ultrafacts for more facts

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Beyoncé + Female Empowerment. Inspired by (x)

sources: Beyoncé donates $4M[x]//Beyoncé forms band + 2006 quote[x]//Beyoncé quote, 2007[x]//Beyoncé Cosmetology Center[x]//Beyoncé quote, 2010[x]//The Suga Mamas[x]//The Mamas[x]//Chime For Change Concert raises $3.9M[x]//Chime For Change[x]//Beyoncé quote, 2013[x]//Beyoncé quote, 2014[x][x]