I decided to make this a post since it was too long of an answer to the ask you sent in!!! 😖😖😖 but thank you for letting me answer this publicly!! I appreciate you so much darling angel!!
For those who have not read my announcement, I have offered free detailed readings to a selected group of friends for their feedback and to give you a taste of tarot readings which will be offered as part of listings, in the near future. Such spreads used for all of my readings are customized and respond directly to answer clients’ questions as well address the subtle aspects of these questions. All of these spreads are directed to me by my guides as they instruct which cards to pull and which structure to use in these spreads.
Deck used: Soul Cards (Black)
Question asked: What you need to hear right now, in terms of life lessons
As noted before, this is the spread that my guides have directed to me for your specific question. This spread is what they term as the “double stands”.
At the pinnacle is the major lesson in your life that you must learn by the end of. Please note that for most people, the first 23 years of their life is a revision of past life lessons before they can go on and continue their maturity. That is why most people find themselves and their true purposes by the age of 23, as this is when the signs are the most prevalent. Knight of Pentacles tells me that you must learn to grasp your ideals, then pave your own way to achieve them, which is what you are currently struggling with. Although you can see the holistic picture of your life and rely on friends’ advice, you just can’t seem to align the detailed aspects of your plan, to reality. Indeed, being able to plan the minute details is a struggle for you especially because your circumstances are so prone to change that you don’t feel that it would be worth your time to plan such events out.
The current lesson you are dealing with is represented by The Hermit, and that calls for a deeper inspection within yourself, and to devote all of your energy within yourself. You have found your identity (that’s good! Well done!) but now is the optimal time for you to consolidate it rather than having it fragmented by too many commitments in your everyday life. This includes limiting social gatherings and friends (I see 2 female friends of yours who are particularly clingy and wasting your time away- now is probably the best time to tell them that you are busy and make excuses to prevent them from zapping away your time for growth). Your mood at the moment, is positive and you are intent on affirming your positive traits, even if you do not have them yet, as you firmly believe in the principle of law of attraction. However, a more efficient strategy would be to understand the whole of yourself, what you already are, and what you must become in alignment with your goals, in order to better embrace yourself. There is a dualistic aspect to everything including ourselves, where there is the positive (which is basically what you have) and the negative (what you need to improve).
Nine of Pentacles indicates to me that what is holding you back is your craving for all that is good and positive through your efforts of attracting balanced energies. Girl. You CANNOT attract the level of what you wish for now, if you cannot improve yourself first. Everything in this world that comes to you is an internal spectrum of yourself, and everything that you perceive is a reflection of yourself. Thus, think of this as a worthy investment for a period of solitude. It won’t be forever- only about 4-5 months of introverted behavior and intense self reflection. It will take you to a FAR better place than you could have ever imagined. I can promise you that.
The drive for you in this period in discovering yourself would be your intuition. Specifically your longing for the fuller expression of your divine femininity that you have felt the need to suppress in your mid teenage years, at around 15-17, due to non-conformist idea of femininity you had held at the time. Femininity back then in your social group was of the hard sort- the extroverted boyish charm, and the solidified presence of knowing what you were doing in the context of experience in almost everything. You will fare well to give into your urges, and see the almost embarrassing moments before fully understanding where your femininity lies and the expression of your true self.
The most major prompt for this period to occur is in the 6 of pentacles, in that you have given with the minimum expectation of receiving, believing it to eventually come back somehow, but receiving only emptiness and a burnt out feeling as everything begins to drain away your good will. The pinnacle of this point was 4 months ago, when you knew that you had to stop, but again, slow at taking action because you still held the belief that your kindness would be returned by the Universe’s laws. In actuality, that has happened- it has forced you to distance yourself from this negative situation to self invest in yourself and GROW. The underlying tones of what has led to this period is in the 3 of cups, which already mentioned before, in your celebratory mentality you have towards your life. You treat positivity as sthg you already have, and what you want as already there, leading to an imbalance and almost delusional outlook. To use an analogy, you are looking out into a vast lake, reflecting a beautiful dusk, however what you see in that reflection, you believe you actually have, without knowing what you already have (beneath that reflection in the lake). And thus, you throw in pebbles, trying to embed change into your life to achieve these future “haves” as soon as possible, but only disrupting the illusions as you become more disappointed in the lack of giving back.
There are 2 major actions you can take. The first is in the short term and that is represented by the Hanged Man. You MUST let go of all of your desires, sit down and reflect quietly what it is you have in reality. And what it is you wish to achieve using your own power rather than relying on the LoA principles. Then, you must strategically analyse all of your actions and list the top realities you must make from your own efforts in order to achieve them. Everything amounts from effort even though a boost of luck from your metaphysical practice does help too. Just be careful not to over rely on it. The main hindrance for this period is in the Lovers as you struggle to balance the relationships you have with those around you. If some do get severed- LET GO. These can always be repaired later, however what you are embarking on, cannot be repeated. If you miss this opportunity, you miss it. There’s no going back I’m afraid. Just make sure to explain beforehand, that you are going through rough times and to excuse your behavior even if you seem to be fine. You will be met with disbelief and incredulity at first, however after 4-6 weeks, you will find yourself to be accepted more.
The long term change you must make is in the Knight of Cups, and that is in the assuming of responsibility of your own success and failures. No using acceptance as an excuse to deviate from analyzing exactly where you went wrong. I see this as a recurring problem for you, especially when it comes to work and relationships. The main hindrance to this is in the Magician- hesitancy. The archenemy for this lesson, is ultimately yourself.
