🤍💛🤎The Sepia System🤎💛🤍

Bodily 21+ | They/Any (+ neos) | Collectively Aspec | questioning PDs sob | Do not perceive (unless it's positive) /hj {Blog functions kind of like a journal/log} || Cashapp $SepiaSys or Support us on Ko-Fi! || I often queue reblogs to here instead of instantly reblogging

[sepiasys]

There's two different "Take care of yourself" type urges and I know I'm going to forget the distressing necessary-for-my-life things after/regardless but I might just actually do one of them and take a nap.

[sepiasys]

Oh to have someone hold my hand and like help guide me through doing shit and gently encourage me and like keep me safe enough to get comfortable, and NOT just shove me off a cliff and feed me to the wolves and expect me to claw my way out of that.

[sepiasys]

Hello hi I'm having a breakdown actively

tw/cw for dental/health stuff ig

as nice as it is conceptually to have a tooth that is NOT affected by my poor oral health (and general hygiene) as a kid, it's like. At an angle. And according to the internet, this is bad.

But I dont have a job or money or health insurance or state assistance or a laptop that had important shit on it that works, and I'm so. So bad at talking to people.

And I dont like the dentist because of the pain. And if no pain then discomfort. And regardless of that my body is just built inconveniently for even just standard typical dental procedures.

I want to get my teeth fixed even if it means removal, I want them to be straightened so I stop feeling insecure and also dont have a higher risk of things getting bad. But I can't get it all at once, everything convenient for me. I have to take time over months, years, to get all of it done.

And all I can think about is being told the equivalent of "sink or swim" by everyone around me. By family. Relatives. By my best friend.

And I *feel* like I'm supposed to be too disabled to do that. Mentally, I'm a disaster. Physically, I'm... too capable for people to think I'm disabled, but not capable enough to NOT have problems, and not capable enough for people to leave me alone instead of bothering me for whatever issues I AM having.

I'm like a fucking teenager (I am a young adult, it's basically the same thing). Just able enough for this, but not quite enough to actually do other things, and I'm treated like I SHOULD be better than I am CONSTANTLY, which means that I'm NOT good enough.

I hate living. I hate being human. I hate being built like this. and I hate the expectations held for me that I can't reach, or just barely can.

[hourlycatphotos]

[jjs-sweet-brain-eating-parasite]

[jjs-sweet-brain-eating-parasite]

This week on structural racism the anime:

[sacredpr0mise]

I know this may sound really weird, but I really liked Episode 5 of Chainsmoker Cat. It was amazing worldbuilding in my opinion. Really expanded on the systemic and structural racism against beastfolk, like when Yani's sister was picked on for releasing a bug because the humans "thought she would eat it." And in the board game where the beastfolk couldn't get any good job because of their race, and the letter saying that humans shouldn't marry beastfolk because of the "physiological difference." My fav episode so far!!

[sepiasys]

No real, I lowkey think of this regularly (esp bc they all have their vices in a way, they all have their flaws and faults and at least 3 have addictions/substance abuse problems)

I was considering mentioning it but was too sleepy lol

I thought abt how it was nice to include but also thought abt how sometimes things like this are included just... for the sake of it, to pander to the audience, for whatever, but aren't delved into. And part of me fears that happening. But also, the premise inherently requires you to get into some subjects, even if its casual and even unserious or makes jokes abt it sometimes. {omg I'm. brain mush. things happened irl and its making existing fuzzy}

But I did think about it. Imouko is literally the embodiment of trying to be one of the "good ones" and I think that any dramatization or 'exaggerated' moments of their bad habits and quirks and all that serve as ways to highlight ways that they'd be discriminated against even though these are things anyone can deal with lowkey.

Idk I love reading into the nekos as them all having some sort of disability, on top of the racism. And how these things stack up against you.

Like how they all live in the same place apparently, and half of them are in fact abusing substances, whatever their reason may be for it (besides addiction), and how the humans there are perverts, even if they're also just normal people as they are. You can't deny that they are shown to be a little freaky (which is fine and pretty normal) lol

[childsacrifice]

(no beers in) So how do you perceive me in the privacy of your thoughts

[not-your-average-url]

I miss when ads were a single click and then they’re gone. Now every ad has a minimum of three phases where you watch a video, exit the still frame of fake gameplay, and then exit the app download. That doesn’t even touch on the ones that forcibly take you to another app after opening a tab in safari without you ever touching the screen.

I hate advertising. I hate that you can’t do anything without companies jumping down your throat with mostly bullshit ads. I hate that billboards exist. I hate that every company unanimously decided to make their ads longer and longer. I hate that ad blockers try to charge you money and there are in app purchases to remove ads. I hate that my attention has become commodified. I hate that there’s nothing I can do about it.

[depsidase]

[avoidantcactus]

Constantly torn between “I can’t ask for help bc then I’m annoying and everyone will be mad” and “I must ask for help at every possible stage because I might do it wrong and then everyone will be mad” ya feel

[dulect]

employer: so what would you say is your biggest weakness?

me: probably just like who I am as a person

[lakeyyyyu]

Responding this screenshot, yknow, cause, yknow.

[sepiasys]

Chainsmoker Cat is fun so far (ignoring the things that are squicky (I think I'm using that right????) for me)

I love watching anime and never reading the manga (usually cuz I cant get my hands on it)(if there is one)(usually there is)

Uh spoilers for episode 5

I am morbidly curious about Yakuko and the whole number name thing but mostly because that sounds really traumatizing and this is the character that has done the most/hardest drugs and this episode really makes her appear sad </3 Poor thang :(

I will never not enjoy Hameko now I think just bc I think about her mindset. Because holy fuck I love her fake ass now that I've like. Engaged in cluster B researches and the high probability I have one of them. And if I don't well I certainly envy them to an extent lowkey (Can't imagine why... /g) BUT AWWW The humiliation from that fall 😭 Gotta admit tho the fact you made a rainbow is lowkey impressive in a way. Like imagine that you see an angel fall and a rainbow is above them as it happens. Or smth. Idk LOL

Yaniko has never held her hand up to cover the flame before when there's wind while trying to smoke </3 (I grew up around ppl who smoked frequent enough and you also see these smoker habits in media)(I absolutely despise the amount of second hand smoke I must've received as a kid)(I'm not gonna think abt this further [I might think abt it further but I dont wanna])

AND AWWWWWWW TO IMOUKO. The judgements. But also the purring,,,, Its kinda fun to think of her having a savior complex of some sort because of her older sis Yani lowkey. Or some sort of superiority complex. Trying so hard to be normal and I can see her just hurting if she were with someone more normal than her. SHE IS SO FULL OF ENVY SHE IS SO JEALOUS AND SHE IS SAD FOR IT AND THATS SO REAL

I'm projecting and I hope some of what I say ends up proven wrong in a good way

Btw chief Lani of the Alpha is prebby. I won't say anything abt representation/presentation bc its not my place to speak.

[sepiasys]

Let them know that we are every single "poor communication skills" in different fonts

Saying this because ☕ was out, didn't know until we tried to. talk.? and then forced to talk bc open ended question(?)(idr) leading to being the most defensive person ever. Which is still assumed to be 🦊 but yk, kinda hard to tell.

Going from nonvocal, unable to speak, and if so, not in words, or in limited words, to being very. Cold. Like, if I could describe it? Metal. But you're not trying to sound defensive, you just ARE the embodiment of defending in that way. You're TRYING to sound casual and chill and lighthearted even and it comes across like you're actively offended and/or defensive.

Which yeah, the point of me being out is unironically to do that. To be defensive. Because it helps manage emotions (to a point) while getting your point across as best you can. for us.

But also that's... literally agitating the person you're talking to. Antagonizing, even, as unintentional as it is.

Which is why you're better off in text anyways, but damn!

Idk, we've had reason to be like this. But obviously we know it's not exactly helpful.

Why do we just have dogshit communication. Like actually.

Literally don't qualify for any jobs ever LOL

[sepiasys]

We are so unoriginal why does she they have the same hair style but it's a different color but theyre lowkey associated with WHY IS THERE SO MUCH PINK LMAO

Our mind is the bi flag with the hypothetical prevalence of pink purple and blue as associated colors (and ace bc b&w which is on brand tbh)

[jerico3193]

[frizz01percy]

this should be the most reblogged post on tumblr before it dies

[xan-thos-blog]

We need to reblog this so much that the post breaks

[bittymoonbear-deactivated201807]

Do not like

[secret-unicorn-sierra-blog]

Keep. Reblogging.

[dawn-machine-official]

If we reblog enough we could save it

[vwidjojo]

Reblogged at 1.7 M notes

[weirdo09]

reblogged at 1.8M notes

[earhartsease]

how did this lose over 5k notes

[cybermax]

I’m glad we cost Yahoo 2 billion dollars.

[cybernetic-divinity-deactivated]

it’s like a perfectly preserved body at Pompei

[jjsbizarreadveyj]

Finding this on my normal dash is like taking a stroll through the Park and suddently stumbeling upon the Codex Hammurabi just lying there.

[mimosa-sexypeople-contests-2026]

Seeing this just show up on my fyp is wild but I’m happy to see it

[dragonofthedepths]

I’ve never seen another note count that could begin to compare with this one