long beach aesthetic ☀️

@theartofmadeline
d e v o n
noise dept.

Janaina Medeiros
let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open

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祝日 / Permanent Vacation
Jules of Nature
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Monterey Bay Aquarium

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JBB: An Artblog!
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Mike Driver
taylor price
Cosmic Funnies

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hello vonnie
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@xpositiveprincess
long beach aesthetic ☀️
i’m so done with the way girls in twenties are treated. i’m so done with people who literally create timetable for us. 20- 24 find a guy, 24-26 make him propose to you, 27-29 get married. i’m so done. i’m do not want to get 2 a.m texts from my best friend who is freaking out that she is gonna die alone. i do not want see my 20 years old friend wasting her time on some guys who are not even interested in her. i do not want see us falling for every nice guy who does not look creepy. i do not want to see girls get sad or paranoid just bcos they do not fill in the schedule. you are ok. you should enjoy your life at its fullest and one day you will find 10/10 so do not pursue 6 just because you do not want to be single. it is ok and one day you will find someone. do not split your love with people who does not deserve it. keep it for yourself and when time will come you will know. i know it hurts. i know you wish u could just open part of yourself and release the buzzing love. but not every kind of love is romantic. show it to your family, friends, plants, yourself.
Not a real criticism, just an expansion really, but … it’s not just the timetables we need to get away from, but the goal itself, I think. “One day you will find someone,” sounds comforting, but the reason it doesn’t lay fears to rest is because we are all smart enough to know it’s not necessarily true.
My aunt is over sixty, never married, and never, so far as I am aware, ever even had a great romance. She dated a lot, but never clicked and now seems to have given up. My mentor is over seventy, divorced her asshole husband more than half her life ago and has never found anyone since.
We all know women (and men) like these. And because we know them, we know that “one day you will find someone,” is just … hogwash. Because sometimes you just … don’t. Or sometimes you do, but he turns out to be a cad. Or you do and the universe rips you apart in the most unfair way possible. And because society has us so fixated on finding “our other half” or whatever, we view these women as cautionary tales.
But …
My aunt trains dogs. Her schipperke is the national champion for his breed. She spent so much of her life as a librarian, nurturing the love of books in kids, myself among them. I ride horses because of her, and it’s one of the very few things I do that makes my soul feel at peace.
My mentor is one of the best criminal defense attorneys in her state. She has devoted her life to fighting to ensure that everyone gets a vigorous defense. Because of her countless people have had the opportunity to turn their lives around. Because of her, they’ve had a life to turn around. Because of her, the prosecution and the police in her jurisdiction are forced to behave ethically and adhere to the rule of law. She’s still, even now fighting to abolish the death penalty. It’s because of her that I am pursuing the life I am.
These women’s lives are not nothing. In fact they are a whole lot of something, and it makes my heart hurt that I ever, in my dark 3 am’s, thought of their lives as something to be avoided at all costs.
So love your family, your friends, your pets, your gardens. Love your job or your hobby or your raison d’ etre, whatever it is. Love sunsets and the smell of rain and yourself, and don’t love these as something to do as a placeholder until the buzzing, romantic love comes, but love these as things worth loving all in themselves.
It’s fucking hard some days. The dark 3 am’s still come sometimes. But most days, I am so much more at peace knowing that I am not incomplete or waiting, but that my life, if it ended today, is worth it because of the platonic, familial, friendship love I have shared. And if the other kind does come someday, that’ll be nice, but it won’t make any of the others less. It’ll just be caramel sauce on a sundae–tasty and wonderful, but the sundae was perfect without it too.
I needed this today.
12 Steps For Self Care
If it feels wrong, don’t do it
Say exactly what you mean
Don’t be a people pleaser
Trust your instincts
Never speak bad about yourself
Never give up on your dreams
Don’t be afraid to say “no”
Don’t be afraid to say “yes”
Be KIND to yourself
Let go of what you can’t control
Stay away from drama & negativity
LOVE
I know times may be hard for you right now, but just breathe. You can do this.
2018
- wake up with your alarm. don’t lie there for another half an hour. seize the day
- have a glass of water as soon as you wake up and before you go to sleep. hydrate
- stretch. do some yoga. try and do the splits or even just touch your toes. relax and meditate and focus on your breathing
- even if you’re not going out, change your clothes and your underwear. clean is always better
- go for run. or a walk. or to the gym. even just once a week. just get outside
- read a little everyday. maybe for leisure or maybe for class. just learn
- new music is always lush. spotify, apple music, a live gig. go hear someone’s heart
- cut things out that make you unhappy. people, relationships, certain foods, habits, anything
- study hard. work hard. get it. the job, the degree, the relationship. just do it for you
- check your boobs everyday. make doctors appointments
- eat a piece of fruit and veg everyday. we all know 5 a day is far fetched, especially for students
- compliment people. you never know how much someone needs to hear something positive
- compliment yourself. look at yourself in the mirror and say five things you like and maybe one to improve. you can always better yourself but don’t make that your be all and end all
- a relationship should never be your everything. it’s lush to be smitten and to have someone smitten with you but be sure not to become half a person. you are a whole. reclaim your independence. learn to love your solitude
- don’t forget your friends. keep in touch with people. don’t be glued to your phone but make sure you stay in contact
- give yourself time to heal. grief is a weird thing and time isn’t always the healer. you’ll have good days and bad days and you should never feel bad for crying. it’s not over and you don’t have to move on in the way people think you should. memories are good things
- don’t put so much pressure on yourself. eat that pizza. buy that charity shop coat. there’ll always be money and there’s always tomorrow to eat a salad. calm down
- stress is the silent killer. you don’t need that first degree or that promotion. do your best and you’ll be rewarded
- say fuck it once in a while. or a lot. a couple of g&ts, a party, a new outfit
- have sex or don’t have sex. it’s a lot of fun when your needs are met and you’re enjoying yourself with someone you love or just like the look of
- withdraw consent if you get uncomfortable. at the beginning, middle, end, it’s always okay. don’t let social expectations dictate your choices. the idea of being a slut doesn’t exist unless you’re hurting someone you’ve made monogamous promises to. other than that you’re good
- get checked and be good to your body. sex is great if your mind and body are good with it too
- take photos. paint. write in a journal. document your life. you never know when you’ll need some nostalgia or a creative outlet
- families aren’t perfect but they’ll always be in your life in some way. in person or in your heart and memory. try to make them good memories. there are those without parents and siblings and grandparents who would give anything to have what you have. try a little. take the higher ground
- mental health is important. cut out anything that could contribute to its downfall. your mind’s long life is more important than temporary fixes
- listen to the people close to you. most of the time they have your best interests at heart and they’re trying to help you see what maybe you can’t. don’t take things so personally
- we’re living in a time of hate. be a ray of sunshine to this dark world. don’t seclude yourself to your own cave. that isn’t what self love is. we need to take care of ourselves first, yes, but remember to love each other too
- take one day at a time
Hey. It's gonna be okay. You're gonna be okay 💕 so hold tight
♥i believe in you all♥
♡ I hope you gain so much self confidence ♡
url moodboard for @softintrovert
-bee
from ig: rockandjarliving