kaleidoscope eyes

DOYOUNG. kim dongyoung. 21. private sphere trainee. am i biting the bullet alone? oh i know that i'd rather be bold

[xrkdoyoung]

hi friends! i don’t know if any of y’all could’ve expected this but i’ll be dropping rkdoyoung haha. ummm, i guess maybe i’ve been sorta unhappy rping him? like i love him and i love the muse so very much. but i do believe that rkdoyoung’s journey should have ended. like sometimes trainees do give up after so long and they stop chasing after their dreams, i think that’s the case for this muse. 

yikes, idk what to say lol. but it’s been... a fun run with him and i don’t regret anything. i’m thankful for everyone he’s ever interacted with from when he was rkdokyeom to rkdoyoung and whatnot! he grew as a muse and he is/was my longest running rk muse at over 3years !!! that’s a record for me but it’s time to let go. :(( so thank you. 

tldr; uh doyoung dropped out of sphere pretty much. he went back to uni for business probably lol. but he still busks from time to time. < 3

[xrkdoyoung]

gravity falls

[xrkdoyoung]

rkars‌: 

Hearing the suggested place for an ideal nap, Youngjae couldn’t help but tilt his head in confusion as he failed to see how the toilet of all places would provide more comfort than the floor. The guy had weird taste that much was for sure. He really couldn’t care less, all he cared about right now was not getting inconvenienced, and that he failed to do.

Not surprisingly Doyoung didn’t approve of his whole letting go, and honestly speaking his reaction was kind of amusing. Of course Youngjae didn’t say that much out loud, for if he did he was certain that he really would get disapproved of. Right now it felt more as though Doyoung was playing the role of some brat who wanted his way but wasn’t really upset.

Which was also why the artist needed to show that he was absolutely serious in his not caring in the slightest. “Okay,” he stated, simply and boldly. He then proceeded to walk right past Doyoung on the floor, hand waving in a goodbye. “Have fun down there. See you tomorrow.”

Doyoung couldn’t really say he was flabbergasted at the other’s attitude and demeanor. If anything, he really kinda vibes with that. Unfortunately, he disliked that it was directed towards him.  Although, he can’t really fault Youngjae since he’d probably ignore someone on the floor, too. 

“Wait...” His eyes widen considerably and his mouth slightly hangs open. “Wait, wait, wait!” His shouting gets more frantic and desperate. “Don’t leave me like this!” Flailing around a little more on the floor, he really was acting like a whole brat. He never was like this in TRC. He’s gotta admit that it’s kinda fun. He feels freer here if anything. 

“I’ll remember this.... you... meanie!” Ahh, not Kim Doyoung’s finest moment or best insult but nothing he can do about it. He lifts his head up and props himself up to a sitting position on the floor now instead of laying completely sprawled out. “Next time you need help with something, just remember this very moment.” His threats unfortunately don’t come off as threatening considering when he pouts, he just looks like a sad bunny. 

[xrkdoyoung]

glass bead

[xrkdoyoung]

rkseokwoo‌: 

“Still, be careful,” Seokwoo gently insists, not wanting to bother Doyoung, but then also not wanting him to risk any injuries. It was a source of pride for him that no one had gotten too sick or injured while he was around. A fact he couldn’t say for himself, having done more than enough damage trying to get his body to adapt to dancing. Seokwoo scratching the back of his neck as he nodded, against the belief that Doyoung had about him. Still a grin breaking across his face at the somewhat of a compliment. “Yes, even me. I’m glad that I’m comforting though. I like people to feel comfortable around me.”

It’s hard for Seokwoo to not shake his head when Doyoung talks about seeing him in action. In his eyes, he was hardly as good as any of the other trainees around in Sphere and he had much more further to go. “I’m not that good yet. I still have a lot to learn – but Mark. Mark is very good. He’s better than me,” he agrees with a chuckle, his weight shifting at an attempt to hide the lingering concern he had; he was so much older than the others, and maybe he would never catch up to them in skill.

He concentrates his attention on Doyoung, focusing on what the other was saying and hoping that he wouldn’t forget a word. Singing and rapping. A crinkle of his nose at the mention of having two left feet, followed by a laugh. “I had two left feet as well when I joined Sphere. I was dangerous in the dance classes. I’m so tall – I might hurt someone,” Seokwoo recalls the same joke her’d told Seungcheol when they’d first met. From there, he’d improved and worked on his dancing. “I was only okay at rapping and.. I’m tall. I think Jiyoung sajangnim likes when you’re tall? So don’t worry too much! You’ll have a left foot and a right foot soon. The coaches will make sure of that.”

Doyoung nods with a cheeky smile on his face. “i’ll be careful! although, no promises. after all, you did give me these things.” He gently shakes the bag given to him by Seokwoo and practically beams at the other. “I’d feel like if these went to waste, you know. But for sure, I know my limits, don’t you worry about a thing.”

Shaking his head, he pouts. “Nonsense! You’ve definitely got something at least. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here. Besides, if we’re gonna debut together someday, we might as well start helping one another out and showing each other what we’ve got, right?” Tilting his head, Doyoung shakes his head. “Look at me talking about debut and I’ve only just gotten here... hahaha! Don’t mind me.”

Pursing his lips together, he takes in all of Seokwoo and nods in agreement. “Very tall, I see.” Doyoung perks up and laughs. “Oh does she now? I’m tall enough I think so I guess I fit right in, huh? Once I learn to dance and get a left and a right foot, it’s over for everyone. I’ll be a real triple threat, man! Heheh.” The thought that maybe his dancing will be deemed passable and not a hazard while training at Sphere was pleasant to know and hope for. 

[xrkdoyoung]

sujeongrk‌: 

✉ ┊ bunny 🐰 ⇢ hi ⇢ are you busy? ⇢ obviously omg im so dumb ⇢ i wanted to talk to you about something ⇢ you heard about the mgas right? ⇢ i was thinking about giving it a shot… i kinda wanted to know what you thought about that ⇢ i mean… i dont know??? like i just wanted some advice from you… for some reason ⇢ voice of reason doyoung i guess! haha

✉ ; strawberry ► lol i can make time for you. why what’s up? ► pffft, have i heard about the mgas? ofc. i miss it every single time. ► i wanted to join the 4th season but by then i was a trc trainee and i wish i could do the 5th season but i fucked up and became a sphere trainee ugh sucks for me i guess ► whoa is that why you’re texting me? haha, asking the wise ole bunny rabbit, i see you ► oh wow, is the confident and gorgeous miss ryu sujeong nervous???  ► i can’t force you to join or not but what about you? is this something you think you might regret if you didn’t do? ► all i know is that if you love to sing or perform, give it a shot? you’ll get to be on stage, make some friends maybe, who doesn’t love that ► and maybe i’ll be your #1 fan or something kekeke

[rksaememories]

NIGHTMARE.

[xrkdoyoung]

rksae‌: 

saerom’s chest rises and falls, her breaths are deep and heavy. the practice room is quiet, and the hum of the building’s air conditioning unit is the only thing she can really hear. it just leaves her thoughts opportunity to project themselves and become louder. she could stay here maybe, fall asleep on the wooden floor. but the thought of sphere trainees stumbling in here for their morning classes didn’t really appeal to her, so she knows she’ll have to get up at some point. the air outside was absolutely disgusting, humid and warm, making going anywhere unbearable; here though was cool and quiet. saerom’s hair fans out around her, her arms and legs are still outstretched as though she was making a snow angel. only there is no snow.

she is caught up in her own thoughts, although not really letting herself think or do anything for a little while, the sudden cursing from across the room causes saerom to quickly pick up her head. only just though, just enough to look across the room to the door, where light had began to flood in. her brows narrow, she couldn’t make out who it was, light obstructing her view. it was a male though, she could tell. as to whether the male was a staff member or a trainee, maybe even a cleaner, she couldn’t work that out just yet. she’s thinking trainee though, a sphere staff member probably would of just turned the lights on. saerom puts a hand up to her face, shielding her eyes from the corridor lighting. “evening,” saerom murmurs, pushing herself upright. 

there’s a lot of options that doyoung could sort and filter through to use in a situation like this. he could run away and pretend that none of this ever happened. of course, there’s the off chance that he may run into her again at another point in time and who knows if she’ll make fun of him or acknowledge him because of it. he could also just play it cool and be chill. that’s another viable option to do. 

“right, well... sorry about that. i didn’t realize anybody was here.” doyoung bows his head in apology before lifting it back up. “usually people are gone already....” clearing his throat, he bows once more. he’s kinda curious now. dark room, laying on the floor, exhaustion pretty evident. doyoung’s been there and done that before. he can tell another trainee when he sees one. he could really just leave right now but sometimes his brain to mouth filter just doesn’t quite work for him. “penny for your thoughts, sunbae? you uh... look like you’ve got a lot on your mind.”

mentally hitting himself, doyoung smiles as sheepishly as he possibly can. “i mean i don’t wanna assume anything... you just look a lot... like how i used to.” awkwardly, he shifts his hand to rub at his neck to ease the tension he has. “gah! sorry, it’s so rude of me to not introduce myself!” he quickly bows in introduction before standing up straight. “i’m kim doyoung, a new trainee here.”

[xrkdoyoung]

gravity falls

[xrkdoyoung]

rkars‌: 

As of late it felt as though he had finally been getting some peace and quiet in the training halls. No annoying brats to swarm around him. No Seokwoo to bother him. June still seemed to keep his distance which Youngjae supposed was fair enough, and Jeongguk was busy with his own things. The girls were not something the artist bothered much with nor had much to do with. All in all it was surprisingly peaceful and surprisingly nice to walk around the hallways late in the evening when training was done and he needed to gather his stuff and get back home.

Of course there was one thing he had forgotten about and said thing presented itself sprawled across the floor looking up at him rather drowsily. Youngjae stared back down at Doyoung with the most deadpan expression he could manage. For a moment he considered simply walking on or maybe even step on him in the process just for the hell of it, but then he spoke and Youngjae sighed.

“Strange place for a nap,” he commented as he reached out a hand to help the guy up. He couldn’t help but wonder why the fuck Doyoung couldn’t just get up himself – it wasn’t like he was limp or anything, he seemed to have a perfectly functional body so why did he have to be saddled with this and even have to put his backbone into helping the other get up? That was so much effort. As he realised that it was more trouble than worth it, Youngjae loosened his grip around the other’s hand again.

Doyoung furrowed his eyebrows. Did it look like he wanted to nap on Sphere’s nasty ass floor? It’s disgusting. He has no idea who’s been walking around here with their dirty shoes from who knows where. The thought of all the germs gets to him and he squirms and flinches. “If I wanted to nap, I would’ve gone to a stall in the bathroom and knocked out on the toilet...” 

He’s patiently waiting for the other to pull him up and his expression changes to one of disbelief when he can actually feel Youngjae’s grip on him loosen up. The audacity that his fellow trainee could really do him dirty like this. “Are you kidding me?” The incredulity in his voice is noticeable. 

“You’re evil, man. You’re killing your fellow trainee, you know that? You’re killing me.” Doyoung knocked away Youngjae’s hand and moved to fold his arms across his chest with a huge pout on his face. “I changed my mind, it’s nicer on the floor.” His expressions changes into a scowl as he glares at the other. 

[xrkdoyoung]

sphere’s kim dongyoung !

was offered a private audition after ttc2 and passed

became a sphere trainee on may 10th, 2019

doesn’t have a trainee title (yet)

skill stats: +217 sng (31.2%), +66 dnc (9.5%), +183 rap (26.3%), +216 chr (31.1%), +13 crt (1.9%), +12 dbt

doyoung in sphere is very different compared to the doyoung when he was in trc

he’s a lot more reserved and mostly keeps to himself

likely to stick around seokwoo or mark however but even then it isn’t often

he’s just using his time to learn and practice bc he actually realized how immature he had been back in trc

he wants his time in sphere to actually mean something and be of use to him somehow

he has also thought about focusing his attention towards modeling/acting, tv/radio hosting and all the singing achievements

in a way, doyoung’s sorta beaten down and while not necessarily broken, he is trying to just put himself back together in a way that makes him happy of himself and who he is

very soft smiles usually and always looks like something’s on his mind, pouts a lot

just trying his best after being disappointed one too many times of course

[hyojinrk-archived]

&. downfall

[xrkdoyoung]

hyojinrk‌: 

he really hates being mad, and he hates the way he’s being right now, but hyojin can’t control the deep frown that borders a scowl at doyoung’s first few words – he’s not taking this seriously at all, is he?

“yes, i like to sing, and i know you do, too – but it doesn’t matter how much i want to be a singer, or if i can be one. if you think i could, wouldn’t you see me going to auditions? wouldn’t i be under a company already?” he chokes back a breath as his volume rises even more, causing some heads to turn their way. he thinks he’s going to say something he’s going to regret – no, he’s sure of it, but it’s something he has to say. “tell me, does singing your heart out pay the bills? does being an artist give your parents less of a hard time? does selfishly going after your own dreams help the people who rely on you the most? because if so, why am i here? why am i here and not with you in the practice studio?”

somewhere, he sees a figure standing at the kitchen doorway, small and uneasy. he sees tears that never seem to stop for anything, not even for time nor dreams nor hope. he hears the sobs, feels the shame, raw and piercing, because there’s nothing he can do with the little boy he is now. all he had was his voice and nothing else. reality is harsh. the world hurts more for some people than it does for others. and so, the trophy is on a shelf somewhere back in anyang, forgotten with adulthood. along with that little boy at the doorway, he had left it to collect dust.

voice shaking, eyes starting to feel hot and blurry, hyojin can swear that he’s almost seeing red, and although he starts to quiver, he restrains himself, speaking quietly. “better for me? good for me? you don’t know anything about that. you don’t understand me at all. you’re not shitty. you just don’t know anything.”

doyoung keeps quiet and he keeps his lips pressed into a thin line. the only thing that gives any indication of his emotions is how his eyes seem to be filled with anger and he’s furrowing his eyebrows. 

he never knew hyojin felt like that at all. and yes, he feels like he’s a terrible friend for not knowing but he’s not to blame. he refuses to be made the villain and even made guilty right now. why would hyojin let him continue speaking about stuff like this if it was hurting him? it doesn’t make sense when he thinks about it. 

he just feels like hyojin is taking out whatever frustrations he has on him and it’s unfair. doyoung’s been nothing but a good friend and to be thrown shit like this was uncalled for. he wants so badly to hate hyojin and be mad but he can’t because it’s just not his fault either. it’s no one’s fault. life just happened to unravel the way it did and there’s not much one can do about it. 

“no. it doesn’t pay the bills... “ doyoung clenched his fists and kept them on his lap afraid he might lash out at his friend if anything else were said. “i didn’t realize that you felt so strongly about this, hyojin. maybe if you had talked to me, i could’ve... i could’ve helped you out. i just... aren’t we friends? why couldn’t you talk to me about this? do you not trust me enough?” 

he doesn’t want to cry because nobody likes crying even if it did feel freeing afterwards. but maybe that’s also why he can’t stop the hot tears from streaming down his face. they’re not outright sobs. just tears from anger and frustration at this situation that seemed to take a turn for the worst. “why is it wrong... to be selfish? it’s your life, isn’t it? shouldn’t your own happiness count for something? or...”

“are you just making excuses, hyojin? is that it? you’re just afraid, aren’t you? you really are a coward... huh?”

[xrkdoyoung]

June ‘19 Evaluation - Variety Skill

It was at that moment Doyoung knew he was screwed. A random play dance was one thing but for the company to assign yet another evaluation for this month. One where trainees had to find and discover personal skills that would be perfect for variety showcasing. What if Doyoung didn’t even want to go on variety shows if he debuted?

Besides, he wasn’t even sure if he had any skills whatsoever. He tried to think hard about it but there wasn’t really much to think about. He could do some animal imitations but everyone he knows and their mothers can do animal imitations. It’s such a cop-out that Doyoung would hate himself if he did that.

Maybe crying on demand? That seems like a pretty nice skill. But then he remembers that they’re supposed to perform these skills in front of their company mates and not to be him but because he’s still relatively new, he doesn’t want any strangers to see him crying on stage. Yet another, he crossed that off the list.

Doyoung’s eyes suddenly widened when he realized he had just the thing: juggling. He almost forgets that he could do so. He thinks he did it once in a prior audition but that was so long ago. Not to mention he’d been absolutely going through it for the past year and a half that he should probably try to practice it. He knows damn well he’s rusty but if it’s like riding a bike, then he’s quite certain the muscle memory is still apparent.

With four bright red colored balls, Doyoung practiced hard for his skill to show the company. June 16th came around faster than he imagined but nonetheless, he was so ready. He’s almost certain that nobody else could do a variety skill like this. At least, not show it for today.

He patiently waited for his turn as he watched his fellow company mates take to the stage and do their thing. It was boring and just a tad bit annoying for him. He doesn’t get why they needed to do evaluations like this. Weren’t they supposed to be idols? Not fricken circus acts or whatever.

When his turn came, Doyoung sighed and got up in front of everyone while holding his brightly colored balls. He bowed first and forced a smile. “Hi… Kim Dongyoung here and I can juggle?” Doyoung chewed on his bottom lip and cleared his throat before starting.

He tossed one ball after the other and caught them while continuing to do so for all of them. The most he could do was four and he’s never tried five balls before. Of course, he wasn’t about to attempt it today in front of everyone. He continued to juggle his balls as they flew through their circular path. Then just to spice it up a bit, Doyoung started walking backwards while still managing to juggle the balls. It wasn’t much to begin with but it was something. He just walked around while tossing some balls repeatedly into the air and then to finish, he caught all the balls and bowed. “Thank you.”

[xrkdoyoung]

June ‘19 Evaluation - Preparation

Goddammit is the only thought that comes to Doyoung’s mind when the evaluation for June was announced. It’s like Sphere heard about all the terrible things he’s done in his past and are now trying to break him and mold him. Last evaluation was exhausting as it was considering he was a fresh and brand new trainee. Now this is his second evaluation with the company and he can’t believe how much he’s already wanted to leave.

Dancing was Doyoung’s enemy. They were sworn enemies. He sorta has two left feet but compared to before, he’s gotten just a tad better but still not good. In fact, he would have been completely fine with the evaluation if it called for just learning the dance for one song. 

But nope. They just had to throw in that they would need to learn three of their company seniors’ songs. One was doable if Doyoung practiced hard enough but three would absolutely be overkill.

Doyoung just thinks it’s Sphere’s way of trying to get rid of him, he swears but it’s quite alright. He would be fine. He’s probably just going to tell Seokwoo to shove him in the back of their dancing formations because hell no is he gonna try to embarrass himself with his dancing. Not to say he’s absolutely horrendous because he can learn but his moves compared to others will always seem a bit off. 

That’s fine though. He’s a singer more than anything. He’s trying to sing. As long as he gets to achieve his dreams then he’s okay with whatever else he has to do in the meantime.

After some discussions with his fellow trainee mates, they decided on their three songs: Convex’s Very Nice, She’z’s Mr. Chu and Chaos’ Shadow. Personally, the only song that Doyoung even liked was Mr. Chu so at least he’d be able to do that choreography just fine. The problem would have to be whether or not he could dance to Very Nice or Shadow. 

He’s seen the choreography for Very Nice and Doyoung thinks that it isn’t very nice for the ones who aren’t suited for high energy dancing like that. He shudders after having the thought cross his mind.

Still, he doesn’t like complaining and he’s the most recent of the Sphere trainees so he feels bad if he brings them down. He trusts Seokwoo, though, to teach him and keep him on track. God, he just hopes that his dancing can at least look passable for their evaluation.

Although, the question Doyoung has on his mind is why they needed to learn three songs. Would they have to be played one after the other? Is this a stamina kind of situation? Or is the music gonna switch between all three songs? All of that sounds scary and Doyoung can’t help but to dread it more and more.

He doesn’t even know where to begin. Should he start with what he already knows? Mr. Chu seemed to be the most doable of their songs. And he knows that he’d be able to nail the expressions downpat. Then on the other hand, he thinks they should start with the harder songs because it’ll take longer - for Doyoung at least - to get it down.

Doyoung nearly pulled his hair in frustration opting to just pull up the choreography for all three songs and rewatch them over and over until his trainee mates told him what their plan would be. He trusts them to take care of him and lead him well. He might as well take advantage of being the newest trainee among them while he still can. Honestly, he has no idea when Sphere will sign more male trainees.

[xrkdoyoung]

gravity falls

starter for @rkars

it’s already been less than a month but doyoung can feel the exhaustion seeping into his bones as he drags himself through sphere’s training schedule. at the very least, he’s doing his best to keep up and catch up with the trainees who have been here much longer than him. 

he just wants to stay low and bide his time here in sphere. he messed around too much in his last company due to his own immaturity and now he just wanted to do what he had to and grow as a person and trainee. those were, of course, personal goals but another one was to not make himself look like a fool in front of the other trainees. 

that was already too late considering doyoung’s laying on the ground in the hallway looking up into the face of another trainee after having just slipped because of his tired and clumsy footing. he huffs a bit since the air was knocked out of him and he laughs sheepishly at the other’s presence. “yikes... i swear i’m not clumsy but you don’t mind helping me up, right?” raising his arm slightly, he gestures for the other trainee to grab his hand and pull him upright. 

[rksaememories]

NIGHTMARE.

[xrkdoyoung]

rksae‌: 

it’s said that time is a healer. just how much time will it take for saerom to feel like herself again? that’s the burning question that continues to burn in the pit of her stomach, day after day. and it’s only been a week or so after the events of the evaluation; her meltdown with one soul witness. it would probably be easier to just give up, to throw away everything she has worked for and to go back home. maybe she could finally enroll in university and make her parents proud, do the one thing they want her to do. but she can’t bare to break away from the thing she loves.

   even if it hurts to continue doing the thing she loves.

a combination of physical and emotional pain. even since saerom had her well … breakdown, she’s found herself sleeping a lot more which is both a good and a bad thing. good for her health, bad for her reputation as a trainee. that being said, she’s still getting to her classes at sphere and seocho each and everyday, even if she doesn’t want to be there. 

one late night, saerom finds herself wandering the halls of sphere. it really is late, most trainees have gone home and saerom finds herself lingering by an empty dance studio. somehow, she is overwhelmed with the urge to enter and let herself go, just this once. she flicks on a light or two, preferring to not blind herself with the bright lights of the studio. tossing her bag aside, she walks into the center of the studio and instead of dancing, as planned, sits, lying back on the cool floor, arms and legs outstretch. she closes her eyes, taking in deep, slow breaths. 

disappointments and failures are extremely good at humbling people. doyoung, of course, is no stranger to it. he can count on his fingers the amount of times he’s just failed and there wasn’t much he could do about it. the most recent being the second triple threat challenge. he should’ve known he wasn’t up to par with any of the other contestants. lacking, lacking, lacking is the only thing that ran through his mind. 

to make matters worse, he just had to be stopped by a worker from sphere of all places. stupid might as well be doyoung’s middle name because of the fact he did the private audition anyways and surprisingly passed. now here he was in the sphere company building. 

doyoung hates sounding dramatic but even he could tell how the fight inside him had left him empty and bare for all to see. but that’s the thing about doyoung is his ability to fake it until he makes it. smiles that never quite reached his eyes and a trainee who mostly kept to himself or a few of the trainees he didn’t mind but otherwise, a loner who liked to sort through his own thoughts. 

even if it’s after training schedules, doyoung doesn’t have it in him to head back home so he lingers around the building to just contemplate and perhaps practice a bit more. he needs to get better and catch up to the other trainees. that much was obvious. he chances upon one of the dance practice rooms and peers in, noticing someone laying on the floor. he doesn’t know this trainee, at least, he thinks she happens to be one. with a hand on the handle to the door, doyoung thinks he shouldn’t until he leans in by accident and his added weight causes him to press down on the door handle and he nearly falls right into the room where the other trainee lay. “shit!” the word escapes his lips before he can stop himself and he berates himself for being too careless and klutzy and intruding. “um... hello.”

[hyojinrk-archived]

&. downfall

[xrkdoyoung]

hyojinrk‌: 

( x )

“stop it.” his voice is low, but he’s bristling, body tensing up in a way that suddenly makes him seem much more threatening, as if he was a caged monster that had been freed of its restraints after years of imprisonment. there’s a burning anger in his eyes, a hint of desperation and a deep sadness bleeding through, completely eclipsing whatever gentle brightness they usually had.

although his posture remains the same in his seat across from the other male, the hand that had been resting next to his iced americano was now clenching violently, fist turning almost white. he’s been trying not to let it build up, to push it down – but he doesn’t think doyoung has been picking up on how much his words are upsetting him.

he’s always envied how the other could act so freely, able to follow their dreams independently. but when it came to him, idoldom was just a distant speck of a childhood dream that he had never quite seemed to grow out of, no matter how much he put it down. and now, here he was, completely unrecognizable and at his wit’s end trying not to say something he’ll regret.

“why are you speaking as if it’s something anyone could do? being an idol, a singer, a musician – isn’t it enough for you that you’re achieving your dreams? why must you dangle such a false hope over me, too?“

he’s obnoxious and talkative; doyoung knows that about himself. he’s like a constant bombardment of fireworks that go off. so once he gets going, it’s hard to stop him until he finishes. 

it’s hard to stop, though, since he’s so easily excitable. there’s just something so spectacular about chasing your dreams no matter how small that just gets doyoung going. and it’s a feeling and experience that everyone should try. but of course, there are times where he doesn’t know when to stop pushing his limits. not everyone is going to have the same sentiments as him. 

doyoung should’ve known better. but as he’s speaking about just singing and performing in general, there’s a spark of passion that just seems to ignite in his eyes. he’s happy for once. yet he should’ve realized it when hyojin tells him to stop it but he just keeps blabbering on and on. 

he doesn’t stop. not until hyojin raises his voice at him and not until doyoung notices the clenched fist with knuckles turning white. pause. doyoung’s open mouth closes and he takes in what his friend says to him. he didn’t know that hyojin felt that way. but the irrational side of him gets offended that he could be spoken to like that. 

doyoung feels a tightness in his throat as he mirrors hyojin’s expression. he furrows his eyebrows and looks down at his iced coffee that’s practically watered down already. “pretty boy--” he stops himself because this seemed to be a serious matter. clearing his throat, he tries again. 

“aren’t dreams worth chasing...? i thought you liked to sing.” doyoung scowls as he lifts his head to meet his friend’s gaze. “it’s not false hope! if... if i could get into a company for the second time, then surely you could as well. but you’re getting snappy at me because... i want something good for you? better for you??” doyoung scoffs as he rolls his eyes. “just call me a shitty friend, why don’t you.”

[xrkdoyoung]

glass bead

[xrkdoyoung]

rkseokwoo‌: 

There’s a proud smile on Seokwoo’s lips at Doyoung’s reaction to the greeting bag. It likely wasn’t the items that people would have wanted or been excited receiving, but he believed that there was a sentiment and need for them in the first weeks. First, that the new trainee was welcome and thought of, and second, that it was okay to struggle or get hurt during the first weeks of training. “Good! I hope you don’t get hurt and need them, but they’re there if you do. If you need more, just ask. Okay?” Seokwoo curled his finger into his thumb in signal.

Seokwoo nodded as he listened to Doyoung explain what he was trying to do, what he’s been struggling with, and it was easily understandable. Even after a year as a trainee, he felt that there were times that he was still so far behind and unable to catch up to those around him. “That’s okay. Everyone feels like that. Even me sometimes,” he assures the new trainee, wanting him to know his concerns were not ones he had to carry on his own. 

“Especially around everyone as talented as the other trainees in Sphere.” Seokwoo adds with a smile, eyes crinkling as he tilts his head. Unlike himself, he was sure everyone there was good at one of the main skills an idol needed. Doyoung included.

“I can rap and dance. I can help you with either of those. My singing isn’t very good though,” he decides to start with, thinking it would help lead Doyoung into whatever questions he might have or need. It was much easier to be helpful if he was being asked about the skills that he knew. “Singing, maybe Youngjae or June can help with those. They’re better singers than me. Jeongguk? He’s a better dancer. And Mark? He’s a better rapper than me. But I’ve been a trainee longer than all of them, so I’m sure whatever you’re doing. I can help you catch up.” Seokwoo pauses to smile at Doyoung once more. “You’ll catch up quickly. I promise.”

Doyoung grins and nods before flicking his wrist into a small wave. “Oh, don’t you worry about that. I like pushing myself at times but I do know when it’s time for me not break my limits.” He never pushed hard enough to the brink of hurting himself in the process. He very much liked his body and would care for it as much as possible. When his body ached or his throat felt too raw, that’s when he knew to stop and just breathe. Regardless, the items would be very useless in the event he ends up breaking more than he thought he would. 

“You?” Doyoung laughs while shaking his head. “That’s hard to believe. You look like you know what you’re doing. You just look...” Pausing for a bit, he clicks his tongue when he tries to come up with the right wording. “Put together? Confident? It’s comforting to be around, I mean. So thanks.”

Eagerly, Doyoung listens to Seokwoo’s quick rundown of the other male trainees he has yet to meet and talk to. He makes sure to tuck this into the back of his head for future reference. “Rap and dance? You’ll have to let me hear and see you in action then.” Singing, dancing, rapping. Doyoung’s eyes widen before he smiles. “Oooh, I know Mark. He’s a great rapper for sure.” 

“As for myself, I’m focused more so on singing and rapping.” He quickly nods. “I hope to catch up to all of you guys really soon. Until then, I’ll take all the help I can get. I’ve got like two left feet when it comes to dancing. Such a shame. Maybe if I wasn’t so bad, I could’ve won TRC’s triple threat either time.” He cracks the jokes and somehow he feels lighter than before. He couldn’t let himself dwell too much on his failures. Besides, he thinks he made a good choice by coming to Sphere.

[rkyerim]

♡┊INTRO

[xrkdoyoung]

rkyerim‌:

yerim looks over at him, eyeing him as he lays on the floor, body spread flat and limbs reaching out. there’s something about tall people that freaks her out, like the excess of limbs could stretch like mr. fantastic. she breathes a laugh. “yeah it does suck,” she notes with a nod. “i feel like… it’s kinda like when i first came to korea. all i had was my absent aunt and my depressed brother. i felt so foreign even though i already spoke korean. it’s not as if anyone could really tell that i wasn’t from here but still, i knew it.” 

when doyoung breathes a laugh, she looks at him curiously. it seemed as though he thought it was all a joke, but then she has a second thought thinking that if he did, he probably wouldn’t be here. or perhaps, it was the same way that she viewed idolism; stupid and superficial, but worth it for the attention, for potential the fame. “why do you say that? i assume it wasn’t the trainee part, was it just trc?” she questions with an eyebrow raised. “my story,” she hums. “i was on the mga’s and everyone thinks i’m a superficial brat with a complex,” yerim pauses. “i suppose they’re not far off.”

doyoung sits upright and beams up at yerim. with a slight nod of his head, he continues. “a little of both, actually. joining trc was something else and it was my first time being an actual trainee... i didn’t know what to expect at all. like it was super hard for me. i wasn’t mature at all.” he could have done so much better, but he was young and dumb - still is young and dumb. the past, however, is the past and there’s nothing he can do to change it. 

“oh wow, the mgas? i always wanted to do that but i guess my timing just never matched up whenever they held the program.” he listens carefully and hums and nods in acknowledgement at the appropriate times. then he’s choking and throws his head back with laughter. “hey! let people think what they want about you. you’re here now, that’s all that matters. people suck. as long as you have the skills and talent, who cares?”

[xrkdoyoung]

kunrk‌:

                    ▸   NOVA FLYER + 04   ,  @rkdoyoung

        in a surprising twist, his sesame seed onigiris are more popular than his spicy salmon ones.  he chalks it up to the time of day;  it’s just after lunch, so perhaps salmon is a bit too heavy for those who have already eaten.  and because of that, he’s left with zero sesame seed ones and about fifteen salmon ones.  “sorry, i ran out of the other one.”  he hands him the pinkish onigiri before reaching back into his bag for a flyer.  “—whoa, wait, take one of these.”  he holds out the piece of paper.  “they come with the onigiri.”

doyoung tilts his head to the side as a curious look overtakes his features. he stares at the stranger who seemed to be handing out food for some reason. well, he didn’t care much what for since free food was always a good thing. he’s just about to turn away and leave when the guy stops him and doyoung almost snorts in disbelief. “uh huh.” looking between the guy’s face, the piece of paper held out in front of him and the onigiri in his hand, he makes a decision. “oh dude, my hands are... full, sorry about that.” for good measure, doyoung immediately cradles the food with both of his hands so he’s actually got his hands full. he feels just a little bad. only a little.

[xrkdoyoung]

crown of rust

doyoung can’t believe he actually sprinted to royal’s new organic cafe immediately after dance practice ended. he only had independent study in his schedule and mayhaps he took the liberty of declaring this as his independent study time. and following that was dinner, so maybe doyoung could squeeze a few hours or so at royal without really getting into trouble. he’s still fairly new to the company anyways. under the radar. that sort of thing. 

overall, his opinion of the place is positive. it’s neat, clean, pretty and spacious. besides, who doesn’t love a cafe? let alone an organic cafe. healthy options are on the rise of trendy. doyoung doesn’t follow much of that but he’s heard from people here and there. tasty but healthy? not his cup of tea. in fact, he only ordered a smoothie. 

he imagines what could have been if doyoung had signed that royal trainee contract over a year ago. would he be able to come and go to their organic cafe as he pleases. he’s heard that royal’s new building is much bigger than their old one. he wonders if it’s nicer than sphere’s. probably is with the name of royal entertainment backing it up. it has to be. 

as he patiently waits for his drink, he pops in an earbud to listen to some music. lately, he’s been feeling tired and he just hasn’t been too keen on singing. he’s been struggling just to find the right songs to cover. god, he hasn’t posted a song cover in ages and he knows his tiny fanbase on youtube must be looking forward to his covers only to leave them disappointed. 

that’s kinda why he wanted to escape to royal’s cafe and check it out. he figured a quick break from sphere’s walls could help him clear his head and just mull things over. it is helping though, that’s for certain. if he took off the trainee status, doyoung could really just be a regular guy sitting in a cafe, sipping on some drink, lazily pretending to be productive and do work. it’s a great concept momentarily, but he’s gotta face reality at some point.