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스가 |MCMXCIII|BTS Army

[xsuga-min-blog]

so tempting

and persuasive

is that 

of a

glistening rose

stuck inside

four walls

- Sagittarius 

[xsuga-min-blog]

I just want to wake up

and find you 

on the front porch

listening to breeze 

optimistic,

I could kiss your neck

-Sagittarius 

[xsuga-min-blog]

To reap the certain euporia

that comes with having a hallow spirit

 Is that it is found in the evilist things

like a thief in the night

it will silently creep in

-Sagittarius

[xsuga-min-blog]

 I keep internalizing thoughts 

of bees 

and 

broken glass

like a belt hanging from a tree 

my thoughts

 always wander to the tree

-Sagittarius

[lavender-kills]

[xsuga-min-blog]

”… turn him into stars and form a constellation in his image. His face will make the heavens so beautiful that the world will fall in love with the night and forget about the garish sun.”

- Unkown

[xsuga-min-blog]

I’ve realized, that since he was said to have sensory issues, that means he hated pain, of any kind. He continuously felt pain it would seem- Maybe not physical- but emotional.

He said somewhere in an interview, that he got so drunk he woke everyone in his family, jut to ask if they were happy. And as they replied that they were happy with themselves or their situation in life, he felt immensely jealous and broke down in tears, because he could not feel the same.

It breaks my heart that he had said that he set goals for how he would achieve happiness.

His choice of suicide is what hurts so badly- because it had a meaning. It was a death that feels no pain.

[hwaitinghwaiting]

Is there anyone out there, from our Blue Night family, that is crying alone tonight? Not crying out of pity for something or someone, but instead because they cannot help asking why they are living in the way that they are? Is there anyone that is feeling sentimental or guilty, needlessly? Don’t be like that. I hope that you believe that these bitter days of crying alone will prove to be the most beautiful days of your life. You’ll realize, with time, that your life is actually pretty alright. I promise you. In fact, I’ll write you a guarantee! The most beautiful thing in all the world is right now. This moment. You. Don’t ever forget that.

Jonghyun’s closing words on ‘Blue Night’ on the 11th March, 2014.  (via hwaitinghwaiting)

[xsuga-min-blog]

Kim Jong- Hyun 1990-2017

I listened to his songs, immersed in his unique, and captivating voice. 

I daydreamed scenarios that could never happen, all while being enveloped in his voice, the way his native language rolled off his tongue and described all the emotions he was feeling.

I’m sorry you never got to hold someones hand and tell them you weren’t okay. I’m sorry if you did get to, and that they didn’t take you seriously, or sit still enough to listen.

I’m sorry you spent nights curled up in bed crying because you felt alone.

I’m sorry you didn’t feel worthy enough, that you didn’t see how precious your smile, laugh, way of speaking, acting, mannerisms, dress, accent, voice, EVERYTHING- was to your fans, family, friends.

I’m sorry if you felt you didn’t have the support from your family or understatement from your friends.

I’m sorry you felt the need to fake your smiles and paste on an image you truly, did not feel was true to yourself. 

I’m sorry your company forced you into an image and actions and portrayed you as someone you didn’t feel was you.

I’m sorry you didn’t see, or understand just how much someone could love and be so proud of what you are, who you are and what you could’ve become.

I’m sorry you cried out for help, and we only just now noticed, by the words you wrote in your songs, your posts and your actions.

I’m sorry that i’ll never get to meet you, and tell you how much you’ve altered my world and view of things, because of your voice and perseverance through hardships in life.

I’m sorry you didn’t have someone to share a life with, and tell them you loved them, and know you would hear it back, with the same commitment you felt towards them.

I’m sorry that I’ll never be able to tell you how proud of you I was and still am today.  

I’m sorry you couldn’t hold on longer, and have someone save you from your mind and self-doubt.

I’m sorry I can’t write my words beautifully enough as you did, and express my emotions for how god awful I feel and how heart broken, utterly heartbroken, I am that you didn’t feel that you were proud of yourself, who you were becoming, Jonghyun. 

Forever Rest in peace, Kim Jong-Hyun

Please. If you ever feel suicidal, unwanted, alone, anything- Please ask for help, reach out to someone you trust and know will listen and take into consideration what you say. If you truly believe you have no-one, don’t be scared to reach out to me, or other bloggers on here who will be more than welcoming of you and will listen to you. If you prefer not to talk to us, you can always call any of these numbers for a suicide hotline and get the adequate help, ad reassurance you need. I love you guys, you guys are so precious and it saddens me to think you don’t know it or feel it. 

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

Argentina:54-0223-493-0430

Australia:13-11-14

Austria:01-713-3374

Barbados:429-9999

Belgium:106

Botswana:391-1270

Brazil:21-233-9191

China:852-2382-0000

(Hong Kong:2389-2222)

Costa Rica:606-253-5439

Croatia:01-4833-888

Cyprus:357-77-77-72-67

Czech Republic:222-580-697, 476-701-908

Denmark:70-201-201

Egypt:762-1602

Estonia:6-558-088

Finland:040-5032199

France:01-45-39-4000

Germany:0800-181-0721

Greece:1018

Guatemala:502-234-1239

Holland:0900-0767

Honduras:504-237-3623

Hungary:06-80-820-111

Iceland:44-0-8457-90-90-90

India:022 2754 6669

Israel:09-8892333

Italy:06-705-4444

Japan:3-5286-9090

Latvia:6722-2922, 2772-2292

Malaysia:03-756-8144

(Singapore:1-800-221-4444)

Mexico:525-510-2550

Netherlands:0900-0767

New Zealand:4-473-9739

New Guinea:675-326-0011

Nicaragua:505-268-6171

Norway:47-815-33-300

Philippines:02-896-9191

Poland:52-70-000

Portugal:239-72-10-10

Russia:8-20-222-82-10

Spain:91-459-00-50

South Africa:0861-322-322

South Korea:2-715-8600

Sweden:031-711-2400

Switzerland:143

Taiwan:0800-788-995

Thailand:02-249-9977

Trinidad and Tobago:868-645-2800

Ukraine:0487-327715

[huachheng]

BREAKING NEWS!

I love yoongi

[xsuga-min-blog]

“Love is not a feeling”

you always said

but

then you left

because you weren’t

“feeling it”

- Sagittarius

[xsuga-min-blog]

heavy hearted

like

and anchor to a ship

only

that anchor

can be lifted

-Sagittarius

[xsuga-min-blog]

Your lips

like strawberries

red and plump

from

one too many

stolen kisses

N.D.

[xsuga-min-blog]

And then

all at once

I was okay

N.D

[xsuga-min-blog]

He was the devil

his skin was not red

nor were there horns

But

when he kissed me

it burned

burned enough

to be felt

in your soul

N.D

[xsuga-min-blog]

Half-lidded eyes

filled with stars

and red roses

warm lips

shaped like a

tulip

spreading warmth

down my spine

“I can’t believe it”

“You’re truly mine”

N.D

[xsuga-min-blog]

Shy I was always shy around you I could hardly breathe but when you left I couldnt breath at all

N.D

[xsuga-min-blog]

Beyond proud. Absolutely beyond proud. These are the boys that have changed lives literally all over the world. They deserved this. I am so, so, so, so, so proud.