You read me your favorite lines of a book that you want me to read, but my mind can’t help wandering around the possibilities of what could’ve happened if we live in the same city.
I remind myself that we should be nothing more than friends but our late-night phone calls keep me asking for more. I try not to romanticize these feelings between us cause I don’t want to get my hopes too high and break my own heart just like the last time.
But here I am, writing another story about you. You probably know I’m not the kind of girl who can easily connect with other people but I happened to find you. I let you see my inner world and I let myself drown and captivated by your thoughts.
Yes, we talk for hours, but on valentines day you bought her flowers. I have no rights to be jealous though, after all, we’re just two people who have a lot of things in common. We’re just like a mirror, we offer some kind of validation to each other.
You called me baby girl but you slept with another girl. Still, I have no right to be jealous. We built the illusion that we were more than just a fling. Maybe because we need someone to fill the void or someone who can be a painkiller on your worst day.
I try to understand that maybe if we live in the same city it would be different. I came up with many excuses but still, I can’t help blaming myself for falling for you, for being naive, and for not allowing other people to get to know me as you do.
and Instead of not having you, I deny everything that has happened and start over. I don’t know if your feeling was ever real or I was just being delusional but it seems like I can’t get out of this cycle and for once again, I give you the power to break my heart.