cassiaqisms:
SHE TRIED NOT TO dwell on the past — she knew from experience and tales that it was a tough place to linger. she knew her family had sent her away for a reason, and she tried not to blame them: once upon a time she had been s c a r e d, too. but she had come to terms with them giving up on her in an attempt to protect themselves — and whilst it still hurt to recall it, it had been LIBERATING to break free of her parents’ shackles and judgmental glares, ominous words of disbelief like a shiver down her spine. and in some ways, perhaps life had been easier back then. no voices, no curses masked as gifts ( because no life was fun lived with one leg in the grave ), but also, less him. cassia had always prided herself in being independent, never having to place her heart in the hands of someone who could discard of it so easily if they so wished, a trust that could cost her the last bit of sanity she had left. but maybe that was the beauty of it too — the way she so surely placed it right there in his palm, whether he knew about it or not. she chuckled, genuinely this time. «you’re aware you’d be fighting air, right ?» she pointed out, the thought humoring her. «unless a demon found a way to use me as a vessel, but then you’d be fighting ME and i’m not sure you would win,» cassia added as a joke — he could easily toss her to the ground, probably with or without a demon. «i mean, we are throwing a party in their home, i wouldn’t have been particularly happy either.» she shrugged. it wasn’t like they were putting anyone in danger anyway, only causing a mild unpleasant distraction for cassia.
a question he found ricocheting around an addled brain many a time was a simple one. what are you doing ? and though the answer was unknown most of the time, sometimes he considered the fact that maybe this was for cass. all of it - whether consciously or subconsciously: fate cementing it, writing it in the lines of the stars forming her favourite constellations in a notion similar to the way nimble fingers etched similar patterns into the skin of his cool chest. coming back to gwangsan, befriending the same circle as friends as her, partying at the same places - everything just linked back to her. and what was a boy who was never shown how to properly convey his emotions to do with such information but swallow it down until it, one day, became apparent for all to see ? ‘ excuse me - i’m not the ghost expert here. ’ the blonde haired scoffs incredulously, though there’s no sort of malice in his tone. lei would like to be an expert in many a thing, though he doesn’t know whether he’s more interested in the spirits themselves or being placed in the situation where he can see cass some more, these short run ins not enough to satiate his erratically beating heart and emotions seeking to over spill. ‘ well consider me dead then, i’m not going to fight you even if bloody mary is inside of you. though ... it’d be nice to know if there was any way to get you back without the need of physical intervention, i’d kind of MISS you.’ he’s been without her for years without a sign of amalgamating, and though he coped, lei doesn’t really fancy doing it again. ‘ you wanna stay here or leave ? i’ve got my car out front, can go wherever you want if you’re uncomfortable. truth be told, it’s not my scene either. i just came for the free alcohol and to laugh at the terrible drunk dancing. ’
