⧼ ｆａｌｓｅ ａｌａｒｍ ⧽

( park jinhee, xxi, plum ). ❛ i have come to accept the feeling of not knowing where i'm going. because it is ONLY when we are suspended in mid-air with no l a n d i n g in sight, that we force our wings to unravel and alas begin our flight. and as we fly, we still may not know where we are going to !!

[allforbts]

[jinhxx]

        friends are a weakness. that's what jinhee learned after a while, but little jinhee didn’t know that. in fact, the little jinhee had no idea that "friends" were a real thing until the weird boy reading beneath the tree in front of the church appeared years later. haru had been the first attachment in the life of the little boy who grew up inside a church but who knew that it wasn’t his place. so finding the other one in daegu a few years later had been at least .. a m u s i n g. jinhee still didn’t know how to feel about it so he ignored it. the presence of the other wasn’t a b u m m e r, but it also brought into his system memories of a time he still was not sure he could remember but that certainly brought a bitter taste to the underside of his tongue that he didn’t want to feel. even so .. when jinhee found himself stuck in the line of the cafe near the studio, his fingers were roaming over the contact of no one else less than haru on the screen of his mobile, almost as a threat the younger didn’t have much sure he could stand.

             ✉  →  haru-hyung ( 8:34pm ): i’m on that coffeehouse near the tattoo studio ( 8:34pm ): are u too busy to hang out ??

                                            ⋞ closed to: @ofharus ⋟

[jinhxx]

         running away was the sort of thing that people who cared about other did, and jinhee never cared enough about someone else's to feel the n e e d to hide or run away from them. but sometimes, only a few times, it would come to a level that he could not simply ignore the person. and these were the times he had run down the haji's wing ----- it didn't happened a lot, but it was enough to get them a little closer with time. he knocked on the female's door, several consecutive times as if warning about the problem itself. ‘ hello. ’ was all he said the moment it opened, jumping into haji's apartment as if there was something burning him in the hallway. ‘ can you close the door ?? and if someone knocks at it, can you just .. pretend you didn't see me ?? thanks. ’ 

                                              ⋞ closed to: @phaji ⋟

[jinhxx]

          jinhee isn’t a w o r k a h o l i c. he won’t get stuck in the tattoo studio any more second than he's supposed to be there. doesn’t have anything better in his opinion than going back to the shit out of his apartment and being locked in there. a l o n e. most nights, however, he won’t be able to achieve that in a proper way. sometimes he thinks that having given one of the copies of the key to his best friend was a mistake, but in his defense ----- he had done that just in case he lost his own copies, which happens very often, enough to make him snappish. it was no news to know that hansol didn’t know the meaning of "personal space", but who was jinhee really trying to fool ?? deep inside he worshiped to come to a warm, pleasant & vigorous apartment because of the younger's presence, but no matter how much he felt at h o m e when that happened, he still had a facade to keep up. ‘ you know .. even if i'm infatuated with the fact that you're bringing me dinner almost every night, saving some money that i don’t have, i'm so fucking tired of chicken. ’ he stares at the boxes in discomfiture, forcing an expression of pain to his face and leaning his head back on the couch. his words were only meant to irritate hansol as much as he could. ‘ let me buy you dinner next time, ‘kay ?? i'm missing seafood and i never thought i'd say it in my life. ’

                                               ⋞ closed to: @hcnscls ⋟

[jinhxx]

( mvnajung ! )

“well, that’s very cute. am i the main subject a lot in your daily life?” mina responded instinctively, not even aware of what exactly she was saying. this was so familiar that her mouth spoke before her mind had fully connected with the words themselves. as they did though, mina deemed them acceptable, and ended it with a long sip of her drink. the alcohol burned as it went down, and mina relaxed when the intent behind their interaction became obvious and shamelessly flirtatious. this was what was comfortable with jinhee, and that had secretly been why she had approached him after all. there as no more pretense. or appearance of it anyway. “i always like it when you compliment me. almost as much as when you lift me up.” it was said in a dry tone, because his delivery couldn’t have been less enthusiastic. still, his next sentence made her smile, while her body heated up. “i’m not impossible,” she said with a shrug before taking another sip. “i could take it off for you.”

        that was just normal, even if the scenario was offbeat. every time they would be together meant only one thing, and there was only one feeling that could make them e n d u r e being together for a good amount of time without jinhee wanting to have his hands around mina’s neck and vice-versa ----- well, at least not in a totally violent way. the name of all that was ; lust. he made his way to face the girl, lips drawn in a smile that barely existed under the dim light around them, the music was just a healthy background to muffle words that should only be heard and understood by the female in front of him. ‘ you could ? ’ his question came even more in a sensual way, his fingers making their way to mina’s face as he pushed her brown hair away from her cheek that her mouse-headband wasn’t able to hold back before he was drawing her delicate jaw and cupping the side of her neck. ‘ or you will ?? ’ faces inches apart, blood boiling in anticipation, but jinhee could tell that their usual dog and cat little game had just begun.

[inharrystyles]

[mvnjun]

@jinhxx

[jinhxx]

( jvejins ! )

      Those seemingly infinite moments of silence before the other started speaking were spent in a tranquil numbness, jaejin was sure he would be able to endure what was about to come. that was until everything came crashing down, like an avalanche. « how did I break your heart ? » he muttered and he wasn’t sure if the other had heard him over the chattering of those around them. there seemed to be an invisible barrier between them and the rest of the world, but it wasn’t soundproof even if jinhee seemed not to care about it. with every word that came out of the younger’s lips, every part of that confession ( because that seemed the only appropriate term for it ) jaejin felt himself slowly losing his breath, head spinning, a LETHAL combination of alcohol and feelings. « I can be your king, your god even, if you want it to be like that, but if these words won’t mean anything tomorrow morning..if you’re going to consider them a drunk mistake then I’m sorry, but I really can’t do this. » he found himself saying, his gaze on his fingers that were fidgeting with his sweater, a habit of his. « you know how I feel, even after what happened. I can’t help but think that this is unfair. you are being unfair. » he finally admitted, a part of him hoping that the other wouldn’t remember his words the following day, because it was probably better like that, for both of them. and maybe he was being SELFISH, moving on wasn’t easy but it surely felt  f r e e i n g. « do you really think I find that even remotely amusing ? » he ultimately raised his gaze and locked his eyes with jinhee’s. « are you afraid of getting hurt jinhee ? so much that you have to act like this ?  » and the question that had been burning on the tip of his tongue for so long was finally out.

        don't mistake jinhee as a fool, he knew very well what he was doing the moment he clamored jaejin's attention on himself. but he only lacked knowledge that he shouldn't do that, not drunk and not ever. these words should remain locked from his throat down, s e a l e d in a part of his soul ( something else he didn't believe either ) that he didn't risk coming close. jinhee didn't believe in what he couldn't see, didn't believe in what he couldn't see ----- it was almost a m a n t r a in his mind, then how could he believe in any remote feeling he had for the older male in front of him if he just could not see it. seeing wasn't the same as feeling, though. when sober, his defenses would dispel all that, but his drunken mind found it difficult to put everything in its proper place. he felt his head spinning, his throat itched, his fingers pinching for a will to touch jaejin that he didn't know. but at the same time it was all so familiar. ‘ acting like what ?? ’ he growled, the feeling becoming unbearable enough that he had both hands clenched into fists by his sides. ‘ i'm just protecting myself 'cause people don’t care about others !! you would be just like everyone else .. this is r i d i c u l o u s, i don’t believe the things i can’t see !! ’ jinhee whined, like a child who had just lost their favorite toy and pathetically he couldn’t even feel embarrassed for himself. ‘ now every time i look at you i feel my chest fucking aching and i have no idea how to deal with it !! you fucking made your way inside of me. show yourself the way out, fuck. ’ even if anger adorned each of his words spat at the other, it was obvious his begging from behind it all.

[jinhxx]

sO,, i was planing on doin’ my replies tonight but i have a shoulder concussion which put me on a shoulder immobilizer for a indeterminate time :/// bUT i’m already used to it bc akjdskjsd i gain a lot of concussions since i don’t sleep for Shit. anywAY i’ll try to do my replies & get to my ims on monday if i get better. i’m sorry :((

[jinhxx]

( mvnajung ! )

after a long, drawn out, eye roll (which seemed to be a given with jinhee) mina did a twirl as he checked her out. he would probably blame it on her costume, but she knew he was focusing on every bit of skin she presented. “well, demon… that’s not very original is it?” she asked. “just like your insults.” the comment about her current outfit, slutty mouse as made popular by karen smith, didn’t bother her. she had expected it, and more than welcomed it. all of a sudden she regretted not having a drink though. that would make the conversation easier. “that’s because you rarely see me with my clothes on,” she replied drily. “that’s a privilege for people i actually like.” mina grabbed a drink from the closest table and tried to ignore that it both looked and smelled like vomit. “it’s a favourite of mine, yes. and i’m showing it to you now, aren’t i?” there was a slight teasing tone to her voice. “d’you like it?”

        ‘ the thing with me is that my demon side doesn’t go away after halloween is over. ’ if jinhee was at least a bit s o b e r he probably wouldn’t be having that conversation with mina. she was the kind of company he allowed himself to take advantage of at the end of the parties, and in case he was suspecting that he would leave home alone ----- their coexistence wasn’t even good, so it's not as if she could blame him for those thoughts because in the end it worked almost the same way for mina too. ‘ shouldn’t that be the other way around ?? whatever, i've stopped questioning things when you've been the main subject for a long time. ’ he turned the rest of his drink in a single gulp down his throat, it wasn’t another sweet drink for a couple now, so the blurred vision and lack of balance in his legs had motive and reason promptly. ‘ ummm--- i like this. ’ jinhee shrugged indifferently. he had nothing against praising the girl, but even so, jinhee approached, looking at the other directly in earnest. ‘ but i really prefer you w i t h o u t them. ’

[jinhxx]

( ijwoos ! )

his words rang familiar to her, because she had heard the same — but in a praising manner. there was nothing wrong in her household to be a bit devilish, and even as a child she had been encouraged to. jiwoo suspected, and rightfully so, that she was only human, but the thought of having been more once entertained her nonetheless. ❛ well, welcome home, ❜ the detective muttered, taking another swig of her awful drink. following jinhee’s gaze, jiwoo shrugged as she stepped away from the wall she was leaning against, motioning for him to lead the way. ❛ humor me, ghostbuster. ❜

        besides he had been a bit curious about what existed behind the female's words, jinhee kept any comment down his throat because he didn’t like to butt in another people’s business, and most of all it he knew where his place was. after all, he wasn’t the only damaged person and it should not sound like such a surprise. taking the first full cup he saw on his way, jinhee didn’t h e s i t a t e to move on, not expecting anything that would leave him with a headache later if not the exorbitant amount of alcohol he was ingesting. ‘ ghostbuster. ’ the laughter came from under his breath, almost mocking. ‘ you're the only one fighting the danger out there, detective. you have a lot more experience in this area than i’d ever have. ’

[jinhxx]

( cassiaqisms ! )

            IT WAS LIKE TALKING to a wall, which according to many she did plenty of already. at least most times she was met with a satisfactory answer — jinhee, however, was hung up on his. cassia was used to it, the dubious glances and mocking voices, and she couldn’t b l a m e them: sometimes she had a hard time BELIEVING herself, especially with so little evidence and all so tightly connected to circumstance. it wasn’t a party trick exactly, though in this particular setting she was starting to believe it could be. «no, they wouldn’t waste their time on you. you’re too spiritually dense,» she stated casually, not meaning for it to sound as harsh as it perhaps did. 

        if a flawed space in his mind began to believe in that kind of thing ( ghosts, spirits, clowning entities, demons ) jinhee knew that he had fucked up pretty bad because he simply lived to mock that kind of thing, since he started to understand himself. now it was a matter of s p e c i a l occasions like that day or else the alcohol had to be deep in his brain to get his opinion about that fanciful opening that gave humans and dead a passageway between their comings and goings. he snorted under his breath. ‘ spiritually dense ?? ’ the look of interest he had on cassia was extremely cynical, carrying with it the kind of satire he separated for that kind of situation. jinhee only became defensive enough when it came to beliefs, which in the case he didn’t have none. ‘ you know i have no idea what you're talking about, right. ’

[hahni-deactivated20190222]

[jinhxx]

@jvejins & @hcnscls

[jinhxx]

sekittykat:

[jinhxx]

( jvejins ! )

      A loud sigh could be heard as the very familiar voice called him. jaejin was so used that one tone and brash behavior that he didn’t even notice the clear lack of honorifics, or actual manners for that matter. and maybe it was because of those drinks ( their taste was still LINGERING on his tongue, burning his throat ) that he turned towards the other and gave him another chance. what jinhee said next took him by surprise, never would he have imagined the younger capable of saying such things, perhaps he wasn’t the only intoxicated one. the light blush slowly spreading on his cheeks and on the back of his neck was surely due to the alcohol, or at least, that’s what he told himself. because the truth hurt more, it prickled like tiny needles in the back of his mind. he just hoped the dim light in the room hid the peachy proof on his cheeks, he didn’t need another weakness. jaejin hadn’t spoken a word, there wasn’t the need to, his actions spoke for him. and maybe he was drunk, maybe he was tired or maybe he stopped caring about those things a long time ago as he sat down and waited for the other to speak. « what do you want jinhee ? » he had to keep a FACADE after all.

        truth be told jinhee was waiting for a little more struggle for that, not that jaejin simply accepted the fact that he was throwing command over them like that ----- jinhee could be drunk, but he still remembered how was their antics and the awful coexistence they had after a while. only the memory of that past made his throat close again, his fists clenched tightly to the sides of his own body ; such a d e f e n s i v e posture for someone who was literally ready to spill on the boy's feet in front of him. ‘ i just wanted to say thank you for breaking a heart that i didn’t even know i had. ’ jinhee was now gesturing along with his words, his balance was a freaking bitch and he was almost tapping in front of the older male now. ‘ because you made me bleed from the inside and all that shit of brokenhearted poetry that we used to hear about on conceptual sites and songs that no one really cares about. you’re my king, it's like .. i don’t believe in a god, but if i had to believe and put someone like him, you would be my god. ’ the brain seemed to be turned upside down, just as his stomach was twisting from side to side, jinhee was not caring if anyone else would hear his confession to jaejin, so much so that he didn’t even measured the volume at that the words rolled out of his tongue. ‘ you can laugh now. “oh, i broke something inside jinhee”. ’ he made a terrible imitation of the other boy's hoarse voice, a d u l l smile appearing on his face at the same moment. ‘ because it’s  all about that, isn’t ?? make it funny about breaking the hearts of others. this has to be it. ’

[xuleism-blog]

* ghost proof, baby

[jinhxx]

( xuleism ! )

truth be told, he would’ve PREFERRED it if both the boy and the scantily-clad nurse had decided to take interest in the game upon calling out to them, so if the ghosts decided to make him bleed from the mouth or some other gory shit that he’d seen in countless films - at least he’d be rescued by some pretty sweet eye candy. alas, beggars can’t be choosers, mentally reminding himself to seek out the long-legged blonde once this is all over with so he can get a number; or hopefully a spot between those mile long legs. thats if he survives long enough to do such a thing, he thinks with a small scoff escaping his lips. 

‘ doesn’t look like it’s been used in a while. you know what to do with one ? i’ve never even used one before. ’ lei remarks as if he were simply talking about the weather, and not a device that apparently interjoint two realms of the living and dead. truth be told, he believed ghosts to be utter bullshit, failing to submit to any sort of uneasy ‘ feeling ’ inside of the house that didn’t result from the alcohol he’d ingested before hand and the handful of honey chips he’d not so attractively stuffed into his mouth. ‘ speak for yourself, i don’t wanna die yet. i’ll make sure to record it so if you get dragged off by a pissed off spirit, at least you’ll have died a legend and have a movie created in your name, deal ? ’ 

         jinhee remembers the very moment when he found the board for the first time. when he brought it to church that very morning, he swore he would be kicked out that very day. apparently the religion takes this whole thing of spirits very seriously and if he were to be sincere it only made the situation even funnier inside his head ; because the young jinhee lived to t o r m e n t the lives of the nuns who raised him. ‘ from what i remember it has to be cleaned first, with all the positive energy and shit. but we're at a damned halloween party, what the heck is positive energy in that place ?? ’ he shrugs, but even so he approaches to be able to get the board in his hands and pull the sleeve of the coat he wore to clean it up. the object seemed to have been left there recently, however, so the cleaning was literally only a rule of the game.

     then he decides to lay this board on a surface. narrowing his eyes as he stared at the letters that seemed to have been p u r p o s e l y soiled with red paint. really ; whoever stowed behind the mind of that party had gone to great lengths to make things more real ----- or, extremely fake. ‘ so now we put our hands here and start asking questions ?? ’ he had a questioning tone in his voice because his memory really failed him. ‘ well, i know i'm not going to die .. i've lived long enough to know that this kind of thing doesn’t happen to people who are waiting. so you better watch out for yourself .. or anyone in here, really. ’

[jinhxx]

( hcnscls ! )

THE WORST thing that hansol was afraid of were jump scares. he’d be okay if he saw something coming, but if they just randomly pop up, it’s like his heart drops all the way down to his feet. with a shaky breath, he pulled himself together and put faith into his friend’s words, “alright…i trust you. but if i die i’m gonna haunt you for the rest of your life, and i’m going to make sure you mess up on every single tattoo you try to do.” he held onto the other’s arm and then decided he’d be safer if it was actually around him, “can you put your arm around me, this is totally what best friends do okay, please. i’d feel ten times safer.” he gave jinhee the best puppy dog eyes he could do. “also, i’m not even drunk yet. you know i’m better at handling scary things when i’m drunk. are you sure you can handle me screaming in your ear for the next few minutes?” at this point, hansol was just trying to make up any type of excuse to not go through with this. he knew his best friend would protect him, but still he couldn’t protect him from a j u m p s c a re. this all seemed like a bad idea, yet, there he was, attached to jinhee and not willing to separate from him.

         he was grateful that hansol had appeared after all, the youngest was probably the only person that jinhee could have had a good time in this party after all, the one person he would be willing to be with. so he better than anyone to be a good company. ‘ you wouldn’t do that, you like my tattoos too much to get in my way. and you won’t die, for fuck's sake. ’ this was normal, they were always attached at the hip, wherever it was. then ended up wrapping his arm around the smaller boy's shoulders, holding him c l o s e to himself as they walked toward the dark entrance that many seemed afraid to face. ‘ you can’t handle scary things even if you have a priest holding your hand and a bible in the other, hansol. you drunk would probably only make things worse. you would be just clingy as fuck, jumping on my lap. ’ he knew how his best friend might be t e r r i f i e d by that sort of thing, but jinhee was confident that there would be nothing too scary inside. the fingers entered a pattern of random drawings against the younger's arm. even the party music could still be heard from there, it was ridiculous. ‘ see ?? it's just a fucking dark floor and all--- ’ he cut himself off when a ghost ( a mummy ?? ) appeared screaming in front of them in the exact moment, holding something that jinhee was sure to be some very fake kind of human leg bleeding.

[jinhxx]

( qiqiangs ! )

           IN HIS DEFENSE the room was crowded and dark, save from the glowsticks and bright facial paintings, and qiqiang hadn’t meant to steal anyone else’s drink — especially not that particular one. his throat burned with the UNKNOWN content, his palate not being used to alcohol at all and especially not like that. «no,» he admitted with a chuckle, «and if you don’t wanna j o i n all the alleged spirits here tonight i suggest you try another mix.»

         ‘ this is awful, q. ’ jinhee stared at the drinks table with a furrow between his eyebrows, both hands resting on his waist while he still didn’t want to admit defeat. it was just a drink. all he needed to do was mix some of all the drinks again and go on with his night. but the alcohol was already starting to m e s s with his sanity and no one said he needed to do any coherence after that. ‘ no, no, no. ’ he shook his head. ‘ i'm going to make another one and you'll have to taste it to see if it was exactly the same. come on, you owe me for taking my drink without permission. ’