Stuck in Fantasy

Welcome to my blog! I like a lot of things.

[getoffmybloghoe-deactivated2018]

wtf is a gotye 

[maliciousmelons]

somebody that i used to know

[sandandglass]

[cried-havoc]

[tigerlilyupinthisbitch]

Tom Hardy laughs like an old wizened prospector finding gold after digging for 15 years.

[darren-mia-miarren-deactivated2]

[dutchster]

[alwayslaurinah]

waits patiently for 2015 upload

[darren-mia-miarren-deactivated2]

2015

[darren-mia-miarren-deactivated2]

Happy new year 2016

[darren-mia-miarren-deactivated2]

Happy new year 2017 

[darren-mia-miarren-deactivated2]

Happy new year

[darren-mia-miarren-deactivated2]

Happy New Year

[raccooncryptidd]

It’s almost time. Be prepared.

[saneunderthelamplight]

It’s here!

[sexwitsockson]

[tastefullyoffensive]

[mercedesbenzodiazepine]

[xxforeverlandxx]

me before working out: i dont wanna do this

me while working out: I D O N T W A N N A D O T H I S

me after working out: WOW, i am simply phenomenal. every drop of blood running through my veins is graced with the ichor of the gods, i am an olympic athlete

[meowie]

[lightfulfillment]

Real estate agent: this house was built in 1784 and is filled with demons!!!

White ppl:

[thotograph]

me: *has a stuffy nose*

me:

[officialunitedstates]

on the internet no one knows

[decenthumanbeing69]

No one knows what?

[officialunitedstates]

no one knows

[r-maliciouscompliance]

"Sorry boss, I don't speak spanish"

I work at a hotel as a night auditor, and this malicious compliance begins with a small bit of information I was told when I was initially hired for this position. When I interviewed for the position, and this is very important later on, I was told by the HR lady that the hotel paid a bonus ($100) for each foreign language I spoke well enough to serve our guests. Management cleared my $100 for speaking english after I passed through their evaluation period (my main language is portuguese).

Keep reading

[justbadpuns]

So this guy was walking his pregnant dog on the road when suddenly his dog starts giving birth right there! Shortly after an officer pulled up and said “Sir I’m going to have to write you a ticket” Baffled the guy asks what for. The officer replies “littering”

[badnovels]

[captaincardboardbox]

[howlermonkey69]

[dubiouslexism]

[poisonous-ballads]

[niceferatu]

[bodyglitter]

me: protect the bees!!!

bee: [comes near me]

me:

[hyperactive-tortuga]