I'm Completely Done

Hey. I'm Maddi. my ex taught me to get to know people before i get close! so now I'm incredibly anti-social. and will not go on social networking unless i know who I'm talking to. I now will only talk to my mom and family. and Jade, Megan, Keearah, Wyatt, and Simon. TRUST ISSUES. 

[xxfreewifixx]

Writing is a socially acceptable form of schizophrenia. -E.L Doctorow

[xxfreewifixx]

i only can ost on weekens.... sometimes.. i love you all...

[sourstraws]

"Ew you’re a guy and like the color pink are you gay?"

[sourstraws]

[not-for-your-consideration]

[charlesoberonn-deactivated20150]

[no-cash-for-ass]

I’ve been waiting for this post all my life

[xxfreewifixx]

fuck sakes people. hell if i were a dude id wear pink all the time. techniaclly i dont wear pink. i wear blue all the fucking time. i wear boy clothing. and real men wear pink. like holy fuck. im 13. and i already know to lael someone because of what they wear is horrible. one reason when i am locked up in a ental facility every week. because i was ullied. i mean like all my friends besides 1 is bi,gay, trans, pan, demi, etc. etc. including me. IF ITS SO BAD TO WEAR CERTAIN COLOURS THEN WHY DO I OWN MY BROTHERS SHIRT. WHICH IS PINK! AND HE IS NOT GAY! fucking stereo types. hitler had his reasons to hate. but following along fucking shit up. i mean. like wtf is wrong with this. im 13. and i know this is bullshit. it m,ay be true. but whats the fun in listening. people who dont break the rules. are fakes. they dont live right. people control what you can and cannot do. guys. wear pink. girls. wear blue. pink goes with all shades. and blue does too. i only wear black grey white blue red and purple mostly... and they all go together. like fuck. this is stupid. BE WHO YOU WANT. 

[xxfreewifixx]

only can post on weekends. locked up in mental facility ;-;

[xxfreewifixx]

Theres no escape.

Theres no end.

Our mistakes, no time to take it back,

then the words wander our mind,

they kill us, slowly eating us alive,

forever and ever,

let us escape,

we have to escape before its too late,

its so hard,

who will forgive,

no one cares,

unless you prove you werent kidding,

when you said they were killing,

sitting on the edge,

dancing in the dark,

living with the demons,

setting the world on fire,

bring a little colour, to your world,

fire, blood, your brains on overdose,

numb, dead, broken,

believe what i said,

dancing in the dark, 

where is the light,

off road, lost,

theres no escape,

theres no end.

suffer or suicide,

run or rip apart

theres no end.

theres no escape.

theres no way to stop it.

its always way too late

[goooooooooooooooooone-deactivat]

PLEASE READ AND SIGNAL BOOST

My friend Jenny told me that she wants to run away from home, and after me trying to convince her that she shouldn’t, she’s claiming she’ll either attempt suicide TONIGHT or run away.

Jenny is a really, really importantfriend to me, and we agreed that if this gets 100,000 notes, she won’t attempt suicide or run away.

Please, please reblog. I don’t want to lose Jenny.

[xxfreewifixx]

[depression-you-win-i-give-up]

Reblog if you have self harm scars. on We Heart It http://weheartit.com/entry/96401020/via/lana_tribolet

[xxfreewifixx]

dont give me a genie.

dont give me a wish.

dont lemme see a shooting star.

i will wish for death without someone caring,

so i have no worries, no over thinking.

dont give me a genie.

dont give me a wish.

dont lemme see a shooting star.

[xxfreewifixx]

I use to say i wanted to be a fish.

but i dont wanna be safe.

i wanna drown.

i wanna be a brick.

till its too late.

you cant stop me.

i just want to drown.

fuck this life of mine.

you never cared.

and im done.

i hope you have a great life

[xxfreewifixx]

the sad fact of the matter is,

i dont know who or what to be,

angry, upset, soft like a willow tree?

i just dont know...

[xxfreewifixx]

goodnight.

[xxfreewifixx]

alice: нσω ℓσиg ιѕ fσяєνєя?

white rabbit: ѕσмєтιмєѕ ιтѕ ʝυѕт σиє ѕєcσи∂.🐇

[still-hoping-for-better-days]

[luucciddreamss]

ιм ѕσяяу ∂αяℓιиg, вυт уσυ ¢αит вяєαк αи αℓяєα∂у ѕнαттєяє∂ нєαят.☠

[xxfreewifixx]

baby, why would i break something so beautiful.

[xxfreewifixx]

November 11th

Okay, so... My great grandmother.. she was the top something for the red cross. and my great grandfather... he was the leader who guided where the guns would shoot.

this day... always makes me upset.. because my whole life... everyone has left me, it reminds me of who ive lost. my (step) aunt? i think... shes a step.. but she was bipolar and left her 5 kids. (my coisons) and her husban..

my hauntie (rachelle) yesh i call her hauntie... family fight going on against my mom and her.. and its gone on for 3 years.. i want to fix it but they wont tell e anything aout it... so it eans i cant see my baby cousion (lily) and the newborn when i havent met (myles) aso my uncle an my sister...

i use to stalk my oms messages to fin stuff out... and my sister woul only see me to talk to my mom if she brought me.... 

so i literally think of yself as a barrier. i chose a side. and i woulnt deserve this life...

my dad (my real one) he came home on drugs (this is the sotry i was told... ive been searching for answers on him since i could remember and heres what i know) and he was also drunk.. he was pissed off and locked my mom in a bathroom while she was prego with me... and thretened to kill her ;--; his name was john. thats all i know...

i idnt make friends till i moved to pace river when i was 11.. (its one of those towns like hours away from places so everyone knows everyone)

i met one person. and i knew everyone... i got into the bad crowd.. i didnt know how to be a friend or make friends.. so i got into some big trouble...

when i was still in me moms tummy.. doctors thought i would die.. my mom got sick with y sister and brother when she was prgnant.. because she had low liver???? i think?? i ont know xD and she was gonna stop after brittany (first born) but ye... and they were trying to force an abortion on her because i was unepectadly guessed to be born with brain damage... buutt i wasnt.. jut with lots of disabilites ^-^ which y mos gotten treatmen and meds for..

my life has changed since i turned 11.... and at schol... (theres a thing about this story on my blog) at therapy.. we did a relaxing thingy.. so they told us to close our eyes and iagine.. after we were relaed.. i saw my inner core... and turns out.. i wasnt my authentic self ever. she said "who you are if you werent hel back" "your authentic self" after a bit.. "become that" i was litterally screaming inside... i dont like urting people.. because i know the feeling... so i was scared of being seen of who i am... 

uhmm ~ im done ranting now

xD

[luucciddreamss]