Hello again
Wow, it’s been a hot minute 😶
It’s been almost two years since I was last on social media but since it looks like tumblr might actually be on the verge of dying for real this time I couldn’t resist the urge for one last hoorah 🎉
I’m not sure how often I’ll be on. It’s always been the site I’ve found easiest to handle but I’m struggling a lot more with health and tbh it’s been a relief not to have to deal with the extra strain of social media. On the flip side it’s been lonely. I can’t talk, write or read much these days so there’s every chance I’ll disappear without warning again for another 2 years, or maybe will only get to post every couple of weeks/months or whatever, but this has always been my online home and it’ll doubtlessly call to me for as long as both I and it are around :P
So, I have news; unexpected, weird news but news none the less. Remember the last time I came back after an extended period of time and was like, hi guys, guess what? I’m gay AF now and my entire life revolves around the most embarrassing crush in the world?” Well I’ve gone through a few more unexpected changes in the past few years 😑
After all the years it took to accept that I was a man, imagine my shock and horror at the pink blob looming at the other end of the horizon 🩵🩷
If you’re surprised to hear I came out as bigender earlier this year then you’re not alone, no one could be more surprised than I was! 🤗 I *really* want to talk more about this, it’s all new to me and I’m still coming to terms with this change but as scary as it’s been I do feel like it’s made me feel like a more well-rounded, balanced person.
It’s taking some getting used both to living in pink mode and trying to balance these two distinct sides. I pushed back against that unexpected pink blob so hard in absolute fear of it that I think I burnt out blue mode for a little while, but that’s ok. It’s not like it’s going anywhere.
As for pink mode, I took time to work out what this really is. I don’t want to be complicated or confusing, i’m terrified of being misunderstood and used as a weapon to hurt others. I still have a lot of unanswered questions but what I *do* know is that it’s not something that was there before. I wasn’t mistaken or overcompensating. I’m not detransitioning, I’m not taking anything back; I was 100% male and now I’m not, just like my attraction used to be fixed 100% towards women, until it wasn’t. Sometimes the most unexpected changes happen.
Damn this has been a scary ride and I think opening up on here is maybe the scariest part yet. I’ve been here for *so long* 🩵🩷
So yeah, that’s mostly what’s new with me…
No actually, there are a few other things I guess. I’ve gotten into music composition and, accidentally, bodybuilding?? I’ve explored a LOT of new fandoms (I’m gonna have to do a mega-dump about those though since I am still the massive piece of fandom trash I always was so not everything changes, I guess!) and i’ve even finally played a Xenoblade game myself thanks to the excellent and patient tutoring of my gorgeous girlfriend! 💕
Sadly I have to report that my entire life still revolves around *that show* 😫 and somehow I’ve only gotten gayer, it’s just that these days I’m a 2-way gay, heaven help me and my damn shippy heart 🤬😅 Feeling very sapphic these days 💕🩷
Anyway if I don’t wrap this up and post it then I never will so, yeah - hello again tumblr, - oh how I’ve missed ye! 🥰
And if you don’t mind, I like just going by Stringer these days 🤗🩵🩷
Nice to meet you, again 🤗
