You know what sucks
Having an eating disorder and failing at having said disorder. Having the same cycle every few weeks. Not losing weight, but still obsessing over eating less and constantly counting calories. Losing a little bit of weight, then realising you can’t do this for the rest of your life because you feel like absolute shit, mentally and physically, and you realise you have a healthy weight. Then deciding to pig out and hate yourself for it. Then eating normal again. Aaaand a few weeks later you start over..
You will never meet your goal, but you can’t let it go. Everyday is a disappointment. Everyday you feel like a failure. Stuck. Endlessly.
this is the exact reason i quit therapy. being stuck in this endless cycle made me feel so invalid and ‘not sick enough’ to get actual help.
