yandere-shitposts

just a dumb blog about dumb yanderes

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Darling: I HATE you, no amount of money in the world could ever convince me to ever love someone as disgusting and horrible as you.

Rich Yan: 

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YANS A, B, and C finally trapping their darling after 57 times by placing a string cheese under and box trap: 

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Retail yan trying to convince their Darling to go out with them:

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Reading morally reprehensible fiction about yanderes:

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Yandere: *Stabs darling´s gen z friend*

Friend:

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Yandere Kyle: And after I spray my AXE body spray in their face I'll punch a hole through their chest

Gamer darling:

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HEY BESTIE ITS ME AGAIN THANK YOU FOR MAKING MORE MEMES I LOVE YOU BESTIE MWAH

*//////* ur welcome 👉👈

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Okay, but like, consider this. A horny and perverted, but extremely shy darling, has a crush on a very bold yandere who is also psychic.

Yans just gonna be sitting across from their darling like:

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Honestly, if I were a ghost darling after my yandere killed me, I would fuck with them SO MUCH. "Oh, you're trying to sleep? Whoops! I didn't mean to drag you off the bed! You're trying to make food? Let me just not over the whole pan! My bad!" Make the fucker hate me. òwó

Ghost Darling: *throws things at yan*

Yan: Hmmm, i’m starting to think you don’t like me all that much

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Ok but since im (most likely) nd i feel like itd be hard to keep me? Like "cant focus on u the ac is too loud" "i cANNOT sit here for too long let me AT LEAST run around in a circle" "*incessant mouth pop noises*" "i cant eat mac and cheese the texture is weird" "WHY would you bring me fleece if you've been stalking me then youd KNOW i hate this feeling" "what do you mean ive been listening to this song for three days its been like ten minutes" "WHAT DO YOU MEAN IM BEING TOO LOUD??????? YOUR FAULT FOR KEEPING ME IN THE BASEMENT"

ajsdakfjasdflajs honeslty tho!!! Like if I don’t have music or like some other sound to drown out the silence then I start to hear the electricity in the air and it like,,,, hurts?

They probably sell “darling enrichment and needs” books tho so, the yan should be fine

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Gamer darling: *raging about a boss fight. cursing, yelling, etc* yan: i would take away the game but i fear for my life if i do

aka gamer darling goes feral and yan feels true fear for the first time

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Gamer darling: Ugh get out of my way normie

Yandere: but i bought you some mountain dew and doritos :( 

Gamer darling: 😳 really? for me? 👉 👈

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Smol Bossy Darling: Hey, tie my shoes. Big Subby Yandere: *gets onto knees* Y-yes.

okay but why did I blush like 😳😳😳

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me, upon realizing youre back: oh sh1t its spam time. bestie vibes only

:)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) 

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ok but on the other edge of the line if i have one of my meltdowns infront of a yan i Will Get Murdered bc when im freaking out there is no control there

ajajdfalsdfja while this would mainly depend on the yan I think for the most part they’d try to help you out in the best they could.

Whether that be by taking away “stressors”, or leaving you be.

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narcoleptic darling: *falls asleep in middle of doing something* yan: scrapbook time, bestie!

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Darling: *wakes up*

Yandere: *directly across from them* hey beautiful how’d you sleep

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ok but as someone whos autistic it would be so easy for a yan to keep me happy, like- oh you bought me pokemon cards??? ok nvm i dont hate you anymore. OH YOU WANNA HEAR ABT HOW I ORGANIZE MY POKEMON CARDS?!?!?! ok yeah maybe we can hold hands and i wont cry over it then

alasdfasjdfa YESSSSSS like they just sit there, and like, listen and not judge you. 

AND BEING ABLE TO HOLD HAND!?!?!? They’d be in heaven.

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darling with glasses: *takes off glasses anytime they look at yan* yan: well now youre just being cruel