[ARCHIVED] Ask A System!

Ask questions about plurality of all kinds! --- We don't have the spoons to run this anymore, but are keeping this up as an archive. Feel free to make a similar blog!

[pluralhelp-archived]

Plural Ask Blog!

Welcome to PluralHelp! This is a blog for systems and singlets alike to send in questions related to plurality.

General blog info:

Community feedback is always welcome unless the asker specifies they don’t want that.

We’d like asks to remain respectful, hate will be deleted unless there are misconceptions we can correct that we feel would be beneficial for others to read.

On that same sort of note, discrimination based on identity or race or anything else will not be tolerated.

Non-systems can ask questions!

More under the readmore!

A bit about us:

We go by Interstellar collectively.

They/it generally works for us!

Our blog is @interstellarsystem and we also run @alterhuman-culture-is!

We have over 400 people in our system, most of which are fictives.

We have so many different people with different identities in our brain. There are so many creatures.

We will tag our posts with who responded to your ask, as well as write our name at the end. If you have asks for specific system members, or someone with a specific identity, feel free to specify that! 

If we end up getting something wrong, we’re definitely open to being corrected! In fact, please correct us if we say something that isn’t true. We want to make this blog as helpful as possible, and sometimes due to being such a large system, memories and ideas slip through the gaps.

Trigger Warning Tags are linked here. Warning tags will also be tagged with #tw if any other trigger tags are needed.

Dividers by Bunnysrph

Our personal site!

Resources:

Morethanone - Basic plural info.

Healthymultiplicity - Plural resources.

r/Plural - Reddit plural community.

r/Tulpas - Reddit tulpa community.

[pluralhelp-archived]

hello -- i feel like you've probably been asked this before but i didn't find it through searching so sorry if this is an annoyance. but... how do i know if i'm disordered? or what kind of disordered i am? i'm definitely a system and there are difficult times with it but idk if its intense enough to count as disordered? whenever we try web searching, the questions we get usually just default to asking if we're plural, which doesn't help.

Hey!

Checking out the criteria for DID/OSDD/UDD in the DSM or ICD might prove useful to you, to tell if you have disordered symptoms within your system.

Here's some parts of the DSM! Note that we've only shown the criteria here, and not the extra parts within the entries.

Though, to be disordered, you don't need a specific disorder. You don't need any particular label like DID or OSDD, because being disordered simply means that your plurality is experienced as disruptive/harmful/etc in some way. It doesn't even have to be all the time or every aspect of your plurality--everyone has bad days and good days, and different symptoms affect people differently. If you get distress from it, it can potentially be counted as disordered.

A lot of common symptoms that could be considered disordered are:

Dissociation that's disruptive or upsetting.

Amnesia/memory loss/gaps that disrupt you or upset you.

Headmates causing distractability that upsets you, such as getting in the way of IRL tasks or general downtime.

Switching during inapropriate times/places without being able to stop, such as a child headmate fronting at a business meeting and therefore not being able to properly attend the meeting.

General distress related to your plurality in some other way.

Being disordered is generally about the impact it has on your day-to-day life and how you feel about it emotionally.

Mike (He/They)

[pluralhelp-archived]

Hey, we've cleared all asks older than 6 months in the ask box in an attempt to get more into posting. You're free to resend, we just needed a cleanup!

We've also added a few resources to the pinned post and changed it up a bit.

Mike (He/They)

[pluralhelp-archived]

out of curiosity, what would u think if someone with no social life created headmates as an alternative for social interaction?

This is a common thing for tulpamancers to do, and one of the main reasons people get into making tulpas or other headmates. This can absolutely be effective, but there's some stuff you need to keep in mind.

Your privacy. You're planning on making a whole new person to share your entire life with--this includes private time, your day-to-day activities, etc. They're in your body and your brain, so they'll likely be able to know a whole lot about you. You need to be ready for this.

Your headmate might not stay the way you plan. Even if you have a sort of "template" for the person you plan to make, they're still a person that can do whatever they want once they achieve sentience, including... Things you don't want them to. They might end up not liking you too much, and trying to push them in directions they don't want to go might make it worse. This will be a full, whole person in your brain, and you need to be as ready for this as you would be for a roommate to be basically chained to you forever.

Once again, your headmate will be a person, which means they might want to front a lot. You might end up needing to split your time in half between the both of you, so you have equal fronting time. You also need to be ready for this possibility.

If you've decided that you'd like to make a headmate and you're ready for any outcome, looking up tulpa forming guides could help a lot. There's guided meditations and such too, last I checked. You could also try soulbonding, or even daemonism if you'd prefer. A daemon might be a better option for a first attempt at plurality, as a daemon is essentially another train of thought, but still yours--just projected as another entity, in very simple terms. This site by old-daemon-farts here on Tumblr might be of use.

Overall, yeah making a headmate can be great! A friend you can rely on at all times, someone to always be there. But as with any other person, they might not be who you want them to be, or they might have arguments with you. This isn't all horrible and doom forever of course, you just need to be realistic about what you expect out of creating a headmate, and know that you should treat them as a real person with wants, desires and rights.

Mike (He/They)

[pluralhelp-archived]

Hiya! I've got a question! What's the difference between age regression and system littles?

We have a few young alters that seem to be fronting a lot right now. And they want new stuff, and to play with dolls, and to act in a way that is very childish and possibly time wasting. But they're out the front more, and they want it.

Should I give in and help them get what they want? Or should I be more productive, and ignore them?

...

Are system littles just a coping method that we are overusing and that we should avoid using too much (like some say age regression is and can become) or should they be treated like their own people who deserve their own things and lives?

I feel really bad for asking that. Most people don't want to / wouldn't (in our system). But I'd really appreciate the confirmation. I don't want to mess this up.

Age regression is a coping mechanism where you act younger due to stress/other similar things, while system littles are their own individual people who share your body, just like any other headmate.

It’s perfectly okay and encouraged to let your littles front when appropriate (for example not at work where you have to be productive) for them to be themselves--they’re people and deserve to be happy too. They’re not able to be “overused” because you’re not “using” them for anything, they’re people with their own wants and desires that should be respected. 

Maybe having a certain time when they’re able to do things they want to do could work out for you? If there’s things that your littles want that you have the money for, buying them something once in a while might be a nice gift, too!

- Dime

[pluralhelp-archived]

hey, i’m not entirely sure if this is still an active account but i unfortunately don’t know any systems that i could go to to figure myself out so i’m coming here and i’m so sorry if this is a lot

i’ve questioned if i’m a system for a long while now, i’ve tried so hard to ignore it and brush it off as nothing but the thought of having osdd-1b always comes back. i have a strong suspicion that i have it, but i wanted to ask a few questions just to i guess be certain?

1. is it normal to not have a headspace, not being able to see your alters and not being able to really “hear” them?

it’s strange, i feel like i KNOW whos fronting and sometimes we can talk but only through writing / text, is that normal?

2. is it normal for me, (the host/core), to ALWAYS be here? i’m always the one talking to my friends and such but it feels like whoevers co-fronting with me affects the way i treat them and my personality in general. it’s the main reason i suspect it’s osdd-1b specifically

Hello! We're still active, just a bit slow with answers lately!

It's definitely normal to not have a headspace, and also not be able to see/hear your headmates too. In a lot of dissociative systems, that's actually the more common way the system functions!

It's also relatively common to always be there as the host, that would probably be called frontstuck. Some systems have hosts that are permanently frontstuck and that's okay!

Other than that... Have you tried looking into median systems? It sounds like this might be what you're describing. Median systems can go hand in hand with OSDD so it really depends what you feel fits you best!

Good luck, anon!

-Veil

[pluralhelp-archived]

Sorry if this is stupid but can a alter who's part of a sub system have their own sub system?

Yes! We have examples of that in our own system, actually! I don’t believe there’s a specific term for it, but if anyone knows one, feel free to add on.

- Rave

[pluralhelp-archived]

I've got a semiverbal headmate who wants to become more verbal, but it's hard for her to practice. do you by any chance have any tips that might help with this?

I know you mentioned it’s hard for her to practice, but if possible, we’d suggest practicing short simple sentences at first before trying to work on anything too big. As she gets more comfortable speaking in small sentences, slowly introducing longer sentences and more words might help ease her into it. 

Just remember that there’s no pressure to do this super fast or really at all if she ends up changing her mind about this later. And keep in mind that this may take some time and it’s not always a good thing to try and push and make progress quicker.

Other than that, we’re not entirely sure how to help with this one--if anyone has suggestions, feel free to add on!

- Rave

[pluralhelp-archived]

https://pluralhelp.tumblr.com/post/680287331503210496/is-it-possible-for-all-alters-except-one-to-be

Hey! We also have multiple alters that are monoconscious, but 1 that isn't! So it's very possible.

Thank you for the input!

- Sark

[pluralhelp-archived]

i just want to ask about this. do alters/headmates need to have roles? protector, host, etc. we all obviously have those roles but it's kind of chaotic and messy to try and actually figure it out so we've just given up and just went with "i'm just here whenever i need to be here" but sometimes i still feel so guilty because it makes me think that we're faking it TT'

You don't need to have roles at all, and not having a role doesn't make you fake, either. You don't need to label yourselves in any specific way to be real, and you definitely don't owe anyone that information about how your system functions.

- Sark

[pluralhelp-archived]

is it possible for all alters except one to be mono concious? we've got like 15 alters who fit all the mono concious things but theres one that just. doesnt.

I’d say it’s definitely possible to be both! I’m not sure if there’s specifically a term for that, but maybe asking monoconsciouscultureis would be beneficial? We’re not super knowledgeable on the new monoconscious labels and stuff like that.

- Sark

[pluralhelp-archived]

Hello!! I just remembered your blog existed in my own panic.

So hi, I'm the host of an OSDD-1B system, and we just developed a fictive due to recent trauma. Thing is, he's scared to death, and doesn't know he's an alter. He just kept asking "how did I get here" (text message logs I saw and memory filling in) and panicking. I want to do everything I can to help him. I have my brother that I'm very close to and he knows all the others in my system. But he's not experienced in this kind of thing at all, and all he can do is provide support for the panic attacks. Do you have any advice at all, or a point in a direction, for how I can maybe make his next time fronting easier? Should I leave a note? Or give my brother instructions? My system isn't very functional, so I can't stay by the front or access the headspace. I also can't ask protectors to stay by the front either because we have no communication save for co-consciousness. At this point, literally anything will help, even just ways to calm his panic that my brother can use. Our therapist doesn't know we're a system yet, and though she specializes in trauma, she doesn't specialize in DID/OSDD so I'm kinda stretched thin for help. I'd really appreciate it.

We wrote something for similar situations here. Give it a read and see if you think it'd be useful! If so, maybe leave it with someone you can trust to show the fictive when they're out again. It's kinda written in a way that has mostly spiritual explanations for systems in mind, but it could still be helpful to at least take ideas for what to say from.

As for calming down, try grounding techniques. Some of these might not work, but they're something to try at least!

Place your feet on the ground, preferably barefoot or with socks. Keep them there while doing these other things. Sit up straight but make sure you're comfy. How does the ground feel? Focus on that.

Count backwards from 20 slowly.

Try to say the alphabet backwards.

Smell things! Essential oils, food, flowers, anything!

Play with stim toys. Tangles, fidget spinners, chewelry, slime, squishies, fidget cubes, even something not normally considered a stim toy can all be used!

Draw, if you like drawing. Don't worry about the art being 'good', draw whatever comes to mind to get those emotions out!

Listen to some music.

Hang out with a pet. How does their fur/feathers/scales feel?

Describe your surroundings using all of your senses, the most common thing is these. Don't worry if you cant fill out all the numbers, just move onto the next one. -  5 things you can see. -  4 things you can touch. -  3 things you can hear. -  2 things you can smell. -  1 thing you can taste.

- Sark

[pluralhelp-archived]

Referring to https://pluralhelp.tumblr.com/post/673670796633341952/do-you-have-any-tips-for-communication-between

Can anyone tell me, what's a monoconscious system? I relate to that anon's post and I've never heard the term before

This link might help! We're not monoconscious so it'd be hard for us to describe it properly, so any monoconscious systems are totally free to add on to this post with your experiences if they'd like!

- Rave

[monoconsciouscultureis]

Heyo anon! You might want to look at our blog if you wanna know more about monoconsciousness :0 the questions tag might be of interest to you

[pluralhelp-archived]

Referring to https://pluralhelp.tumblr.com/post/673670796633341952/do-you-have-any-tips-for-communication-between

Can anyone tell me, what's a monoconscious system? I relate to that anon's post and I've never heard the term before

This link might help! We're not monoconscious so it'd be hard for us to describe it properly, so any monoconscious systems are totally free to add on to this post with your experiences if they'd like!

- Rave

[pluralhelp-archived]

Ok ty, I've already begun looking into median systems and monoconscious and seems to align with me a lot more

And I have been experiencing a lil bit more amnesia, but overall we all blend and our memories take a bit to register so yes, we/I might be a system

Ty for the help tho!

All good then, good luck with the questioning process!

- Sark

[pluralhelp-archived]

Hi, so, I think I might have the symptoms of a system?? But I don't have the amnesia aspect, but I can remember most of my trauma but some of it not, and I've been using personas to help me cope but I'm so attached to them, I also derealize and depersonalize so often I feel like I'm not really me, and I really don't like real life and I use my personas a lot. They all have have a piece of me put into them and I have a trauma oc, and they are starting to blend into me a bit. I've been dealing with identity issues for a while now, and whenever I'm a persona, I feel like I'm not in charge and that I'm letting someone else take control for a while. Like, I'm there but I'm so invested in being someone else that they are really there. And I'm in my own world...

I'm sorry if I'm annoying you..

You're not annoying us at all! This blog is for helping people like you figure themselves out. We wouldn't run the blog if we found it annoying!

Anyway, you don't need amnesia to be a system! You need amnesia to have DID/Dissociative Identity Disorder, but not all systems have DID. Some have OSDD or other disorders, and some don't have a disorder at all. You also don't need trauma to be a system, or even to have DID/OSDD.

I'm going to say though, that it sounds like there's a possibility of you being a system of some kind. I'd recommend looking into median systems, considering those sound closer to what you're describing than a multiple system. Median basically just means you're not quite a singlet, but not multiple either.

If you're concerned about any of this, though, especially the depersonalization and derealization, asking a medical professional about it might be helpful. Remember that people on the internet are not qualified to diagnose you with anything and they're not qualified to tell you what you do or don't experience, either, so take everything we say with a grain of salt and apply your own thoughts and knowledge to this to see if it fits. We're here to give you the tools you need to learn about systems and such, not to tell you what you do and don't experience.

- Sark

[pluralhelp-archived]

willogenic plural-in-progress here, how the hell do you come up with a system name? i really want one but i just have no idea how to go about it. are there any generators or anything out there i could use? i usually don't like the turn out of those, so it doesn't have to be anything special, but those usually help me get an idea of what i /do/ want for things. thanks in advance <3

I don't know of any generators, but honestly, picking a name that has something in common with both you and your headmates might be the best option? A shared interest, favourite thing, etc. Remember that you don't have to use the word system, either! There's words like collective, group, pack and many more you could use instead of "system" when picking a name!

Also keep in mind that you can change your system name later on if you find one doesn't fit anymore, too!

- Exeller