PARENTING

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ENJOYING PARENTHOOD

I’ve spoken to may mothers who feel that they’ve reached the end of the tether within the first few weeks of having a baby. It’s important for you to release your pent-up feelings and ease tension and anxiety and enjoy being a parent.

* You really don’t have to worry about giving baby care a high priority, you automatically will. You do have to make a effort, though, to give care of yourself a higher priority that most reasonable women want to do. Try to be a little more selfish than you want to be by replacing the less important baby care activities with care of yourself. Your ultimate aim should be your own peace of mind and happiness. This is particularly important if you are breast feeding; it is essential that you fit and rested.

* Even in the early days when you’re drawn to be with your baby most of the time, it’s essential to have some time on your own, so do whatever you have to do get it. Perhaps you could arrange with a friend to leave your baby with her for an afternoon a week, and you can do the same for her. You might like to make this a permanent arrangement.

* Don’t isolate yourself for too long, often during the early weeks, you may feel agoraphobic and want to keep safe inside the face with your baby, away from traffic noise and the outside world .If this is your first child, you will soon build up a circle of contacts, either  through a independent group or by making friends with other women in the hospital. You could  also join or set up a baby sitting circle in your area.

* Find out about the playgroups ad community centres in your area and see what they have to offer. There may be creche facilities while you attend a dance class or discussion  group or go shopping.

* Don’t expect too much of yourself or of your baby, You aren’t perfect, but neither is your baby and you have to forgive imperfections in him as well as yourself, Don’t set impossibly high standards of mother or baby behaviour. Be prepared to be as flexible as you possibly can.

* Most people find the first early weeks with a baby scary. I did with each of my children and longed for reassurance from the midwife. What you can rely on is the sure knowledge that mothers have taken care of their infants instinctively for millennia, and you are endowed with the same abilities as these mothers.   

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MEETING OTHER CHILDREN

If you have another child and are not having your baby at home, it is worth thinking carefully about how you are going to introduce your child to a new baby and so help to avoid jealousy. When you first greet him, make sure that someone else is carrying the baby so that your arms are free to hold out, welcome him and gather him up for a cuddle. For the first few minutes gave him all your attention, just as you would if you had been apart for any other reason.

Bring a present from the newborn baby - something that your child has really been looking forward to having. If possible, let him hold the newborn baby himself. Most young children are anxious to be of help, so encourage your child to give you all the assistance he can. During the first days and weeks, set aside some times, several each day if you can, which are just for you and him to be together.     

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BATHING AND CHANGING

Until your baby is six weeks old, the only parts that need daily bathing are her head, hands and bottom. To do this you need to “top and tail” her everyday. You can also give your baby a bath but you don’t need to do this everyday. Try to wash your baby at about the same time everyday so that you can both establish a routine.

GIVING YOUR BABY A BATH

* Warm the room to at least 20*c (68*f) and use water that is about 32*c (90*f); it should be warm and not hot when you dip your wrist or elbow into it.

* Don’t use soap to wash your baby as it dehydrates the skin.

* Try to bath your baby at a time when you will not be disturbed. Have everything you need - towels, new nappy and clothes - ready before you start, otherwise you won’t be able to reach them as your hands will be full.

* Undress her to her vest and nappy. wipe her face ad hands. Wrap her in a towel, the wash and dry her ready for the bath. Wrap her i a warm dry towel after the bath and dress her again.

[yashikaanand22]

[yashikaanand22]

BREAST-FEEDING

This is something that you have to learn for yourself-  no one can give you lessons. If you are i hospital, ask the nursing staff to help you to get started. Establishing breast-feeding is always easier if you put the baby to the breast within a few minutes of delivery. Remember every woman is equipped to feed her baby, and no breast is too small to feed a baby. Supply automatically meets demand.

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BOTTLE-FEEDING

If you’ve decided to bottle feed your baby, you’ll experience about two uncomfortable days while the milk dries in your breasts. You’ll be advised to wear a good, firm bra and to take mild analgesics if necessary to relieve the pain of engorgement. By the fifth day after your baby’s birth, your breasts should back to normal and much more comfortable. 

The main advantage of bottle feeding is that the new father can be involved right from the beginning with feeding and feeding time activities. when either of you feeds your baby, make sure your back is supported and hold the bottle firmly at an angle so that the treat is always full of milk. if not, the baby will suck in air with her feed. The treat should be well back in the baby’s mouth. If your baby shows no interest in feeding, encourage her to “root” for the bottle by gently touching her cheek with your finger or the treat. If the treat suddenly goes flat, release the vacuum by gently pulling on the bottle, to allow the milk flow again. sometimes the treat becomes blocked. If this happens change it for a new, sterile one.

[yashikaanand22]

[yashikaanand22]

BONDING WITH YOUR NEW BABY

It’s a difficult to describe what bonding is;it’s certainly getting to know you baby and exploring her with your eyes, nose, ears, fingertips and mouth, and even your tongue. It’s also to do with attachment, protectiveness and possesiveness. This early attachment is possibly the strongest bond between human beings, and necessarily so, as it ensures the nurturing of infants, and hence the survival of the human race.

FIRST CONTACT

Establishing a relationship with your baby begins the second she is born. If possible you should be left in private with your partner with a minimum of interruption for some time during the first hour after the birth. Research has shown that babies are usually quiet, but very alert, in the first hour of life, and in this state they are extremely responsive. They will stare intently at your face if held 20-25 cm away. They can focus their eyes at this distance and respond to the human face.

FIRST FEED

Studies show that babies adapt more easily when they are held, soothed, crooned at allowed to feed at will. soon after you take hold of your baby, try putting her to your breast. Touch her cheek with your nipple and she will turn towards the breast. If she shows little perseverance- she may be sleepy if you had drugs for pain relief- express a little colostrum onto her lips to encourage her. Your partner can help at this point by supporting the baby’s head until you feel comfortable.

You may not bond instantly, however, particularly if you had a long or difficult labour. Don’t worry; you have plenty of time to get to know your baby later. 

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BECOMING A MOTHER

Immediately after the birth you’ll probably be tired, but many women feel elated and full of energy. Everyone reacts differently, if you’re in hospital there will be the ward routines to deal with, but once you’re home, you can enjoy the peace and security of familiar surroundings, and get to know your baby. Life for the next few weeks will revolve around the baby, but in time both of you, together with your partner and any of other children should begin to adjust to a more settled routine.

YOUR NEW BABY

At birth, your baby may have lots of hair, or be quite bald. He/She may not look quite as you expected, but as the days go by any marks or bruising from the birth will fade. The content of your baby’s first bowel movement after birth is called meconium, a dark, greenish, stick substance. This will change gradually to more bowel movements once feeding starts.

Immediately after birth, your baby will be tested and given an Apgar score, this is the indication of her general well being. Later on she’ll be weighed and measured; your medwife will continue to do this regularly for next 10 days. The doctor will give your baby a general examination to check for abnormalities and her hearing will be checked. Around the sixth day after birth, a blood sample is taken from your baby’s heel. This cheeks for PKU (phenylketonuria) and congenital hypothyroidism, both of which are rare causes of mental disablitiy that can be treated if detected.

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APPROACHING MOTHERHOOD

For many women today motherhood comes rather later in life than it used to. The average age of first baby is now 29, compared with 25 only a decade ago, and many women leave starting a family until they are well into their thirties, With improvements to overall maternal health, doctors and midwives are used to dealing with first time mothers in their late thirties and even mid forties as a matter of routine. 

Women nowadays work for most of their pregnancy. This means that the planning for a modern pregnancy and the birth is quite different from that in the past. Now most women want to give careful consideration to their future job security, i will outlined the advantages and disadvantages of the combining work, pregnancy and motherhood in my next blog. But no one knows before the birth of their own child just how they will feel after the event. Even if you have arranged to start working again after, say, six months, you may find it impossible to leave your baby and decide to wait for a few months longer.

Every women is beset by doubts, fears and anxieties - you wouldn’t be normal if you weren’t. Yet it will all seem easy in retrospect. Meanwhile, it’s reassuring to think about the women all around  you who are enjoying pregnancies, having memorable labours and births and, despite some sleepless nights, are thrilled with their babies. You, like them, will find that pregnancy and birth introduce you to the most fulfilling phase of your life.