fatal flaws

[yatesgossip]

what's your favorite costumes so far?

I’m not a fan of any of them. Wish you had all just worn togas and called it a day. This isn’t Euphoria. Someone wrap a bedsheet around yourself and get out there!

[yatesgossip]

most sus people on campus?

Felix keeps disappearing to who knows where. Think he’s involved in a secret money laundering ring? Wait no, that would require a brain. Valerie seems sus as well. She’s too pretty. Like she should be distracting a security guard while Danny Ocean breaks into a casino vault. 

[yatesgossip]

Hello. Good evening. Madison Montgomery voice: betcha thought you saw the last of me. It’s true, this blog has been hibernating. But I do love a good party. That one song from The Great Gatsby plays as you all get alcohol poisoning. Sorry if that’s triggering Ellie! Send me all the hot goss from tonight’s party. Will Harry ever dress like he’s not a Vineyard Vines model? Will Hugo finally go apeshit? Will Felix ever get a brain cell? Where even is Romeo Sokolov? Send in your theories about which well he’s currently lying at the bottom of. Mwah!

[yatesgossip]

Yates’ best dressed list

Lana, Darby and her fur coats. Harry, if you’re into the Ralph Lauren model look. Selene and old lady role play.

[yatesgossip]

picks on who's causing the next yates murder scandal?

Leo or Hugo. They’re both one misplaced/lost shoe away from snapping. Although my money’s on Leo. When I look in her eyes it’s like hello? Terrifying. Amy Dunne levels of unhinged.

[yatesgossip]

Lana’s been laying low. Think she’s up to something?

nah. she’s just horny for becca. becca, please unblock her. please. we are all so tired. isn’t it hard enough watching the leo/romeo and selene/will slow burn? we don’t need another one. just fuck and make up!

[yatesgossip]

becca 100% does not have a soul

it’s kind of hot to be honest. the other day i saw lana crying, naked, in fetal position, calling out becca’s name like moaning myrtle in harry potter. it was so sad that it kind of turned me on.

[yatesgossip]

speaking of names, how weird and cutesy that all the lesser siblings names start with f

there’s more than one lesser? this has to be an act of terrorism. send their parents to JAIL

[yatesgossip]

jamie and finn? yay or nay

the name finn sounds kinda gay so. sure. 

[yatesgossip]

hottest platonic duos? or trios i guess

there’s nothing hot about the word platonic, anon. if you aren’t fucking raw in the backseat of a toyota camry i don’t want to see it!

[yatesgossip]

pick three people that deserved to fall in the hole

all of the blackthorns. the ghost of my unborn child. henry, if she were still here. 

[yatesgossip]

hugo 100% seems like the type to have no emotions whatsoever

who gives a fuck? sociopaths are more fun anyway. we need a new syre around here. hugo, babes, let your dick out and go crazy

[yatesgossip]

who is lana going to fuck next?

ah lana, the manic pixie dream girl that john green could never even dream of writing. power to her. i hope she fucks the whole football team. i’m rooting for you, sis.

[yatesgossip]

philomena is literally not human lol

you may be right anon. the name philomena doesn’t even sound human. it sounds like a prescription drug that tastes like baby vomit. side effects include: headache, nausea, and general existential dread.

[yatesgossip]

petition for felix's 50 crushes to have one giant orgy that he doesn't get invited to

i’m gonna be real, if you let yourself get involved with felix you deserve to get hurt. i once saw him snort coke off a flip-flop. if you even flirt with him you don’t deserve an orgy, you deserve the purgatory. it’s just natural selection baby. 

[yatesgossip]

most likely to drop out?

romeo. where the fuck is he? he’s behind me isn’t he? he’s always lurking...

[yatesgossip]

alright, lets hear those crackships

will and apollo’s ghost. vinnie and the holy spirit. leo fower and his math homework. selene and tomato soup. harry and leo albright. felix and delilah (sorry daria!)