RANKED: River Cartwright Head Injuries, from Least to Most Concerning
2x04: Unable to brace while falling to ground after getting Tased, probably lands on face
This one barely counts. Also he falls onto dirt and it's the middle of summer, so the ground probably isn't even very hard. I give it zero ambulance sirens out of a possible five. Get up and try again.
Personally I would have liked to have seen more suffering. I give it 1 ambulance siren. 🚨
4x03: Fall through roof into pile of tires
I think he should have cut or scratched his face on the roof while falling. Overall, I give it 2 ambulance sirens, mostly because this occurs maybe an hour after a definite brain injury. 🚨🚨
Probably broke his nose at least, which goes unaddressed. I give it 3 ambulance sirens. 🚨🚨🚨
4x02: Butt of pistol to back of head
This one looks pretty bad, but he seems fine. You could argue that's adrenaline, but I don't want to argue. Very enjoyable, I give it 4/5 ambulance sirens. 🚨🚨🚨🚨
1x02: Hit in face with pistol butt
He looks super dazed right after, which is probably something to be concerned about. At first I thought maybe he was bleeding out the ear after this, but upon further review, it seems that it was just a cut on the side of his forehead.
I award it 4 sirens. 🚨🚨🚨🚨
3x03: Thrown into lockers and then into wall, implied that beating continued while show cut to other POV characters, further injuries likely
Fun! 4 sirens, and then he manages to remain standing for several hours after that. 🚨🚨🚨🚨
3x06: Knocked out for a few minutes by close-range grenade blast and files/filing cabinets that fell on him
At minimum, no one should have allowed him to drive a car 30 minutes later. 5/5, stunning work. 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
4x02: Butt of rifle to side of head
Two hard hits to the head in quick succession (not something they recommend). He remains unconscious for all of the following:
the entire drive back through town
being removed from the van
being carried/dragged into the house and up at least one flight of stairs
Victor leaving the room, locking the door, and going back downstairs
That's a pretty long time to not wake up after a head injury. Severe brain trauma! Love that for him. 5/5 sirens. Seek medical attention immediately. 🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
Also what a choice to then bonk his head, which I have to imagine is throbbing in pain, against this door.
Also notable that he again chooses to operate a vehicle shortly after injury.
So impressive how he just manages to keep on going despite serious bodily harm, the Kerri Strug of failures.
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