The past few months have been a lot. Like, genuinely rough in ways I didn't really know how to put into words. But thank you for not forgetting about me, it means more than you know.
My relationship fell apart like I mentioned before, but not in the way I thought it would. Turns out a 10-year relationship might end up involving suspected cheating instead of someone just being honest about falling out of love. That kinda wrecked me and I'm still trying to find closure.
On top of that, my dad was almost in prison, he was actually in jail for a month. He's out now thankfully because he didn't actually do anything wrong or hurt anyone. It was just a really messy business situation. But his company is basically ruined and I've had to figure a lot of things out on my own. I can't really rely on my family anymore, which sucks for someone who grew up in a single-parent household where the dad kind of showed up through money. I was always pretty used to a stable, somewhat cushioned life, so losing that stability has been a lot harder than I expected.
Work hasn't been great either. My boss got laid off so the promotion and raise I was supposed to get just disappeared. It sounds small when I say it like that, but it honestly messed with me. I've been working nonstop, still showing up, still doing everything right, but it feels pointless sometimes. Peer pressure really gets to me, and I know I should've received more than I have.
It feels like I'm stuck while everything I was building just quietly fell apart around me. It's frustrating and honestly exhausting in a way that's hard to explain.
The good news though, I got a dog. This has been my biggest dream since I was a kid, but I always found a reason not to do it. I get anxious easily and overthink everything, end up getting really tense, so it just never felt like the right time. This time I stopped waiting for that and just went for it. He's really cute but also very high energy like crazy, which has definitely been an adjustment. I'm figuring it out as we go and getting into a rhythm with him. It's just me and him in this city now and we're gonna be okay.
So that's my update, and sorry for the long rant. I've read all your messages, all the asks, all the kind words. I'm really sorry I didn't respond. I just didn't have it in me to reply to everything at once. But I see you, and I appreciate you.
I'm going to try to be around more, and I will get back into writing too, even if it's just a way to escape reality for a bit.
Thanks for sticking with me š¤