nasch separating himself from the last approximately 7 years, saying kamishiro ryouga/Shark is dead
denying the weaker part of himself, the one that never had to lead, the actual middle schooler
the one who learnt of hate and love alike, ultimately ending with a, really nice life, until suddenly the barians hit and he’s back in hell
but yuuma is there and yuuma is light and he’s there
but nasch has to reject that, too, because otherwise he’d waver
and nasch does not waver, kamishiro ryouga does that, is what he wants to tell himself
but does he believe it? not quite, so he increases his self-loathing by killing IV
so that’s when, that’s what he thinks, he’s killed the weak in him for good
but he’s also hundred percent ready to die once it’s over because
what business does a monster like him have in this world?
but he still goes through with it, because the barians need him, because he’s left it to durbe and vector against his own will and vector hurt yuuma and the barians are on the brink of destruction
and he gets rid of vector, it’s fine, but now everyone is dead, even kaito, even mizael
so he has to do what kamishiro ryouga would do, team up with yuuma and kick don thousand’s ass
(and maybe he tells himself “it’s because we have a common enemy” but it’s more than that)
but he musters up the resolve to fight them anyway, because this is his fate, the barians need a future, kamishiro ryouga doesn’t matter and nasch doesn’t matter and shark definitely doesn’t matter
he underestimated yuuma’s friendship
he’s so used to people turning against each other, people turning against him, that he forgets that yuuma would never take a future without him
and maybe trying to kill whatever is left of his sense of self was a good plan
but it’s not good enough when someone genuinely cares about him
and in the end, it’s fine
he’s shark, he’s ryouga, he’s nasch
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