Born Yesterday

I am a lost 20'ish-and-something years old girl, born yesterday. Watch me discover who I am and what I like

[yesterdayborn]

I'm thinking about just leaving my laptop at work instead of taking it home with me everyday, because I waste a lot of my time watching youtube and scrolling websites. Time I could spend on so many other things. My phone seems to be less of an issue because I don't really like using it in general lol. But, my laptop is a demon that steals all my free time.

[yesterdayborn]

I have been doing this for almost the past week now and it’s quite nice! I did not even miss it over the weekend. My only issue is that I am writing a lot less than I would prefer. But, I dusted of an old journal that still has a few empty pages remaining today to see if it incentivises me to write more often :)

[yesterdayborn]

For the past few years, I have been refusing to acknowledge and face my issue with spending an absurd amount of time watching youtube videos. Usually by passively putting it on in the background. This is okay during repetitive tasks or as a background noise to creative projects, but more than often I find myself being hindered creatively for example because I have this urge to watch Youtube videos even during my creative writing or planning.

This has to stop. I don’t even have fun watching videos anymore. For this I have two theories, and likely it is a combination of both. First, in 2023 I tried to quit cold turkey by unsubscribing to all channels I have been following and blocking the homepage, as a result I have lost track of all the people I have been following back then. Secondly, not sure how to say this, but the role of influencers has changed to that of content creators. There is a push to showing even more extreme lifestyles, a push towards shorter form, flashier content, and the influence of AI. Either way, I have long been trying to return to the Youtube experience I have many happy memories of, but I have to understand that it no longer exists. There are virtually no communities anymore, few interesting people, many of the people I followed have quit and many of the ones that still make videos have become an empty shell of themselves. I have said this before, and I’ll say it again, people who gain popularity on the internet and as a result choose to quit their daytime job to decide to focus on making the content machine work, lose the spark that initially made them successful.

Because I have such a hard time finding videos I actually like, Youtube has become a bit of a gambling machine for me. This is so unnecessary, although I feel like this will be the case for any Youtube replacement I will figure out since that is how the internet is structured sadly. Lately I have been nostalgically dreaming back to the time where magazines were much more influential, or where radio stations had much more of a subculture. I wish it was easier to find a community. The internet feels lonely, and yet never before have there been this many people logged on at the same time.

Anyway to return back to my attempt to minimise youtube usage, I will be installing a clock that blocks the app for 20 hours a day. We’ll see how that goes and then later I can make it more strict

(I have a bunch more thoughts concerning this topic that need to mature, I will return to this post later)

[yesterdayborn]

Super excited to let you guys know that I managed to buy the fucking cool nike air max koko sandals that have been omnipresent on the tokyo subway this summer! also I think I got pretty a nice deal on them because they were reduced in price by 30%!! Jippie!!

[yesterdayborn]

I'm thinking about just leaving my laptop at work instead of taking it home with me everyday, because I waste a lot of my time watching youtube and scrolling websites. Time I could spend on so many other things. My phone seems to be less of an issue because I don't really like using it in general lol. But, my laptop is a demon that steals all my free time.

[yesterdayborn]

Halloween is around the corner, and my local store now stocks white face paint for costumes. Recently I have been fascinated by the beautiful trad goth maquillage style, so obviously I bought some paints to play around and see what it could look like on top of my face :)